Newest Lows
Get ready to laugh, cringe, and question the life choices of Kyle, Ryan, and Carlos as they share their most embarrassing, ridiculous, and downright stupid stories on Newest Lows! Join these three friends as they dive into the depths of their own ineptitude, and emerge with a newfound appreciation for the absurdity of life. New episodes released every Monday!
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Newest Lows
Episode 14: Everything cost something
Picture this: you're kicked out of your first apartment, living with a volatile roommate, and desperately trying to make ends meet with low-paying jobs. This chaotic chapter paints a vivid picture of life’s unpredictable challenges and the grit needed to survive.
From the light-hearted banter of micro-wrestling stories to the harsh realities of agricultural labor, this episode covers it all. Laugh along with us as we share humorous conversations about aging and adventurous grandparents, and then brace yourself as we tackle the grueling conditions faced by laborers in the fruit fields. Controversial statements, outrageous anecdotes, and critical reflections on labor exploitation make for a compelling mix of laughter, introspection, and raw honesty. Buckle up—this rollercoaster of an episode is one you won’t want to miss!
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newestlows
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newestlows
Email us:
newestlows@gmail.com
McDonald's can fucking eat me. We got Eric Eric's in the studio today.
Speaker 2:Eric's cooking up.
Speaker 1:No more. Producer Eric. Now it's podcast Eric, I guess. So On camera. Hopefully this turns out well. This camera has been known to.
Speaker 2:Take a shit.
Speaker 1:Be a fucking asshole about things.
Speaker 2:Eric had to go get dripped out before we got started.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, he put on a nice little jacket. Did you make this jacket?
Speaker 3:I didn't make this one. I thought you did, honestly, no, I got it from Goodwill as a whole.
Speaker 1:Goodwill always freaks me out. I feel like the shit in there is dirty.
Speaker 3:You gotta wash it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but even then I don't know.
Speaker 2:Because I've heard if you don't wash your shit before they give it to you, they'll throw it in the trash, they'll turn it down, they won't wash it.
Speaker 1:Goodwill. No, they'll just take it and not wash it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they'll take anything. Remember, we volunteered at that one place, that shit was nasty, you know I used to work at Goodwill.
Speaker 2:What the fuck, I did not know. I've had the Goodwill for like a month.
Speaker 1:But some places have the Goodwill, where it's like the actual Goodwill, and then there's like a I can't remember what they call it it's like a wholesale type thing where it's like they just bring in like big fucking gay lords of shit that they didn't want or they couldn't put in the store, that all like this overflow, it's like a ton of overflow and it's like just a weird little. It was me and two literally retarded guys overflow and it's like just a weird little it was me and two literally retarded guys like actually you were getting paid to be there.
Speaker 1:Retarded service. No, I got paid. How much are they paying you? I don't fucking remember, probably 13 back in the day. That's still pretty high though, and it was like there's one cash register and it would open at like it would open before the actual goodwill store. It opened at like eight or something, and people were lined up like resellers and all this shit, and it's just like full gay lords of random bullshit. They'd open the doors and fucking everybody run in, be rummaging through the shit, and then everything in there cost a dollar.
Speaker 1:It was, technically, everything was supposed to cost a dollar, but me at the cash register, people would come up with like things that were different things but technically like the same. Like they come up with like a pack of like, let's say like 50, like play toy balls, and they'd be like I just give it to him for a dollar. Yeah, it was literally literally anything that they came up with. You be like I just give it to them for a dollar. Yeah, it was literally anything that they came up with. You like, as that fucking dude would have to type, you couldn't scan anything. There's no barcodes, no, nothing like that. It was just all random bullshit. So I just have to type in how much it costs and then tell them. So I was giving motherfuckers deals, but it was the weirdest fucking shit. It was like the shit I'm sure you would like to do.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's called the bins.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, the bins Just run in and find whatever you can and try to resell. Find anything of value that they missed.
Speaker 3:That's how they do vintage stores. That's all they do. Pretty neat if you think about it.
Speaker 1:It was weird as fuck, though.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you don't only just get vintage, you get like a handful of other people in there. They're selling.
Speaker 1:You know baseball card they're finding whatever, oh yeah. Or just like a mom yeah, a mom with like three kids running around fucking looking for clothes and like literally they'll take whatever like does. Don't even look at it, just kind of looks appealing that might be anything and just throw it in because everything's a fucking dollar. That's fucked. It was crazy. I mean people would find I found a fucking dope ass windbreaker, because we'd have to wheel them all out before it opened and I'd find some stuff and I just stash it under the cash register and then just like walk out with it like dude. I found like a dope ass like yellow, pink like light yellow and pink like windbreaker. Shit. That was dope as hell but it was fucking wild. I literally working with fucking tarts. It was crazy.
Speaker 1:How was that experience not good? What do you mean? That was like that. That was like around the same time I worked for the fucking dry cleaners, for a fucking Korean owned. It was a couple, a Korean couple, who owned a dry cleaner and I got a job. There Was it too. It was weird as fuck.
Speaker 1:Did you understand them? The dude, the, the husband, literally spoke no fucking English and was a dickhead. He would just be yelling. And then the wife was so nice she could speak some english. She came, she, the pair of socks that you, that I gave to you and you lost. Yeah, she gave me those as a christmas present, you had them for that long. She went to korea and brought and brought me and the two other employees back gifts, and mine was two pairs of socks and you lost one.
Speaker 3:I did you asshole.
Speaker 1:She was so thoughtful she was fucking super nice, how long ago was that when I was pretending to go to college.
Speaker 2:Nice.
Speaker 1:It's probably 2017, 2018.
Speaker 3:I don't know the story of this you probably already said it, but I really don't know.
Speaker 2:I've heard it a bunch of times. It's fucking awesome.
Speaker 1:I went to community college for a semester, then I went to wrestle at a university, a D2 university in Colorado, for a semester and then I came back and I moved out to Fort Collins in Colorado. It was like CSU.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:CSU and they have like a really big community college, like that's where their main headquarter was for community college. And I was telling my mom that I was going to community college and I had like gone through and fucking registered for the classes and then went to the first one and then, like I don't know, something got fucked up where I just wasn't going to school anymore and like I didn't get the loan form or anything. I just like went to the first day and was like telling her I was going and then that's around the same time I got fucking. I stopped paying rent at my my, at my first apartment down there, and then they didn't evict me. They technically like kicked me out oh damn so they just sent it to collections.
Speaker 1:it didn't go out as an eviction on my credit. And then I just like, stayed down there and I lived with my boy. Zach was a shout out zerman. He had had a one-bedroom little fucking basement down there and I stayed with him for a couple months and then we got a house with me, him and his brother, and I was like I had no money so I worked at Sonic in that time period. I was a cook at Sonic for a while.
Speaker 3:We went on the line back there, the dry cleaners. Goodwill, did you have the roller skates on?
Speaker 1:Hell. Nah, I was. For a while. We went on the line back there, the dry cleaners, goodwill, roller skates on hell. Nah, I was on the fucking line. I was frying shit, I was making onion rings and fucking yeah it was terrible it was nice because I could eat whatever the fuck I wanted. Like they give you the whole shit where it's like supposed to be an employee discount, you're still supposed to pay for it dude, that's what's up we were fucking eating everything, yeah, you were saying that you didn't have money.
Speaker 3:That's perfect hell.
Speaker 1:Nah you at your job and you know what, I stopped showing up for like a week and then I was like, all right, yeah, just no call, no show, I got fired or whatever. And then I came back and was like, hey, my grandpa just died. He was still alive. I was like my grandpa just died because I realized I needed the money. I was like went back in and had a meeting with the manager. I was like, yeah, he just died. I was like I'm sorry I didn't stay in contact or tell you guys, but I just had to leave. I wasn't here. And then I literally worked there for like two more weeks and did the same thing. I just left, I just stopped showing up, you retired your skates Got them back.
Speaker 1:I was like yeah, that was a very bad time for me.
Speaker 2:It's a weird time.
Speaker 1:Very bad. And then it was fucked up because when I got kicked out of my first apartment that's how my mom figured everything out- Wait, wait, wait.
Speaker 3:Before you go through, what did your manager say?
Speaker 1:It was like some college chick. So she was like, yeah, I mean, just keep us in the loop, it's like we'll put you back on the schedule, all this shit. I was like, all right, that's fine. And then immediately just did it again, just stop showing it was fucking crazy.
Speaker 1:I was like I don't need money that bad. And then, but the boy, the dude. I moved in with like two dudes who I wasn't like really cool with in high school and after high school I'd like been talking to one. One was like fucked up, one was like a really weird guy. What is it Elaborate?
Speaker 2:a little bit.
Speaker 1:Like he would have. He's like fucked up in the head like he. He had a girlfriend at the time age, same age but he had always been fucked up in the head like a weird guy and he would in example, he would invite his girlfriend down from because she lived a couple like from our hometown invite her down and then every time he did at night, you would just hear fucking screaming and he would fuck not, not like that. He would come. He was yelling yeah and be like I'm gonna fucking kill myself like crying, yelling. He would hold like a pair of scissors to his neck oh shit be like I'm gonna chop my fucking head, yeah yeah, like that type of shit.
Speaker 3:Like that type of shit. What's the protocol? What do you guys do?
Speaker 1:I did nothing, I just laid in my bed, that's not my problem that is not my fucking problem, dude, what?
Speaker 1:and he would be like if our downstairs neighbor was like too loud, he would come and fucking bang on my door and I pretend like I would just sit there and he'd straight up bang on my door. And I'd pretend like I would just sit there and he'd straight up bang on my door for like 10 minutes. I'd be like what, dude, what do you want? He's like we have to go down there and fucking tell them they're being too loud. And I was like all right, fuck it, let's go down there. As soon as this dude opened the door, he's like I'm gonna fucking kill you, shut the fuck up, you're being too like. This dude was fucked, god damn, but his dad was loaded. So his dad paid for like my deposit, my third of the deposit, so when and he had left. So it was a weird like college apartment where it was a three bedroom and we all had our own bathroom but the rent wasn't together.
Speaker 1:All of us paid our own separate yeah, like monthly or whatever right right everybody paid for their own room and he had paid my deposit and then that dude, the crazy one, had left and gone back home. He had threatened to kill himself too many times left. So as me and my of the other roommate who had stayed there, he was actually going to csu, like going to college, and I didn't pay for like three months and then they finally were like they got new like management. Because I kept telling the lady I was like, yeah, I'm working right now. I was like I'm gonna try to put it in some money and like pay it down. And then they got new management and immediately were like you're gone. You're fucking out of here where the managers right now is like I'm gonna try to put it in some money and like pay it down. And then they got new management and immediately were like you're gone you're fucking out of here.
Speaker 3:Were the managers that loud that that guy wanted to kill himself? What's that? Were the man or the downstairs neighbors that loud? No dude, they were like.
Speaker 1:They were like indian dudes watching soccer. So there's like celebrating, like doing whatever that's that. Anything would set this fucker off dude. He was that bad, he was bad dude but I left. I got kicked out and then at some point down the road when I was in the house, um, the crazy dude's dad tried to call me because he was like he was loaded, but it was like fucking a thousand dollar deposit. He wanted it back.
Speaker 1:Or whatever, and he wanted it back and I wasn't picking up. So he somehow got in touch with my mom and my mom doesn't know any of this is going on. Oh shit. Got in touch with my mom, my mom called me and fucking went nuts and I was like she was crying.
Speaker 1:She made me cry over the phone. I was like, fuck dude, I don't know what I'm doing. And then I fucking like was making payments to this dude's dad to pay that down. And then at some point I came back. Yeah, I just went back home and worked for amazon. It was like a really fucked up like two-year period that I was in there. It was fucking wild. I was doing door dash for a little bit bro jesus christ it was fucked up, dude, but I was only.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was like 19, 19 well, pretty similar buddy how just with the chaoticness. Yeah, that's true, I don't know, it's like such a weird time, though like when you're that age and like like 19 after high school and shit and like especially, it was like you feel like weird and like it is true. You feel like you don't know what the fuck is going on, like I feel like I wasn't thinking about anything.
Speaker 1:I was hanging out in daytona and I was like all these people are going to college and I was like this is the same thing like comparing your shit to other people. It was such, so weird what the fuck were you doing after high school. You went to college for a little bit for a little bit.
Speaker 3:I did, yeah, I did. I didn't even do maybe a month, two months, was it that weird? Up there it was just dude, where did you go? Michigan State, that's not Lansing. Is that Lansing? Yeah, it's East Lansing. And dude, I don't know. Dude, it just gave me weird vibes, like I knew I wasn't supposed to be there from the jump, so I did not do anything while I was there.
Speaker 3:I went to my classes for like the first week after that I was like dip, just not do anything well, there is a story I fucking lied that someone was dead from here, kind of like this dude just to go see a kanye concert.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I already know yes nice, yeah, I mean, I got to, I feel the amount of times I told people my grandpa died is like I can't count for, like my boss, for jobs, for anything the amount of times my grandpa died and then he finally did I can't use that one anymore I was like rest in peace, grandpa.
Speaker 1:Thank you for all the fucking times you saved me, because, I swear to god, that was always my go-to. Just like my grandpa died, I had to go to the funeral. I don't. Yeah, that's fucked up, man. Yeah, it's wild. I don't know.
Speaker 3:Growing up is so fucking weird dude yeah, you really don't know what you're doing.
Speaker 1:After high school it's like, in like all of elementary, all the way through high school, you have like a built-in friend group, yeah, like a built-in group that you have as soon as you leave. That. It's like you have to like make your own, because even in high school, if you were like into sports, like you didn't even have to make one, you just had to do something that other people were doing.
Speaker 2:Or just make a, make a. Just make the sports team, yeah, and just like find friends.
Speaker 1:Like after that, if you're not doing anything, you're just kind of like out there with nothing.
Speaker 2:You're like fuck, just hanging just wanging baby, you start drinking it starts to get a little dark sometimes COVID is what really got me with the drinking. I was so fucking bored. All right, fuck it, just go ahead and start drinking.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know, this is wild. I did some fucked up shit. My mom was so mad.
Speaker 3:My mom was so mad, dude, I can't imagine your mom.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, she was pissed and it was months of that, huh yeah. Oh my god she's pissed and it was months of that, huh yeah. Well, we signed a year lease for that house after I got kicked out of my apartment, dude. So I was, and I wasn't even fucking paying rent. I felt so I couldn't even pay rent for that fucking house. And you know what that was. We were in the house. It was me and two other dudes. My rent was 425 dollars. You can bet in a two uh fucking ranch house with a basement, that's fire, had my own bathroom, my own room, couldn't even pay that dude, I couldn't pay for a bus.
Speaker 1:Damn, it was bad it was wild how, how broke you can be and like still just like kind of go through, like get through yeah at the end.
Speaker 3:Yeah, as as bad as like it sounds like it taught me a lesson.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know it's like I've, for real, had fucking zero money not living at home and like ask, asking my mom for like twenty dollars.
Speaker 3:Yeah, be like dude, I just need some gas when you're bad, when you're down bad, you're down bad man, but it's you know, it's a stage of life. I think it's a stage of life for sure.
Speaker 1:Then I don't understand. Like yeah, after, I don't know, maybe that's just like social media nowadays, where it's all like everybody, like you know from high school or like from your childhood seems like everybody's got it all figured out, like everybody's doing so much better. Not one bit dude.
Speaker 2:I was like I don't know that's how it is until you think.
Speaker 1:That's how it is until you get to talk until you get to talk like I fucking hate my kid or I hate my life this down.
Speaker 3:Yeah my husband beats me well it's, I think honestly, because what I get it, I take it this way everyone's doing what everyone else is doing, but some of us they're, they don't want to do that, you know now. So you kind of just like not float around, but you're like floating around, you're not doing the same thing, like getting a kid house life.
Speaker 1:No, I'm a free spirit man.
Speaker 3:Let me so I gotta fly around that's how I am dude, like I don't, I don't know, it's a weird feeling, but like I, I don't know, I'm just here, exactly.
Speaker 1:I'm here, but that is. Maybe there's no sense in any of it. Maybe there is no God.
Speaker 3:Ah, here we go.
Speaker 1:Maybe there Do you believe in God Ryan.
Speaker 2:No, I know there's. I believe in a higher power. Do I know what that higher power is?
Speaker 1:No, what Mexico's Christian country right? Catholic, I think Catholic.
Speaker 2:I grew up in a Catholic church.
Speaker 3:You're Catholic, then no, I didn't grow up religious.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's because you were in.
Speaker 3:America. I guessed no, I just didn't grow up religious. Your parents weren't very religious. No, they were like 100% opposite of that. They just didn't give a fuck. No, it wasn't until recently, probably last couple of years how old are they now? Your parents old, probably in their 50s? No, it's not that old at all.
Speaker 1:I thought your parent, I thought your mom was gonna be like 65. No, she's not that old. No, that's not bad at all.
Speaker 2:Why the fuck would his mom be 65?
Speaker 1:I don't know. I always imagine like Old, like Mexican moms, like just being Old Mama, coco, yeah, dude.
Speaker 2:Abuelos. I wish Carlos was here. Why Cause his mom's like 70 or 72? Well, his grandma's like 100, his grandma's 101, that's Mama Coco.
Speaker 1:That's His grandma for real. Is the lady from Coco, the Abuela From Coco. He sent me a picture she's like for real. It's crazy, she fucking hit a hundred dude.
Speaker 2:I don't know if my grams are gonna make it on and she's still kicking.
Speaker 1:He'd be 91 on sunday, god damn, 91 91 no, I think my grandpa clocked out in his early 80s. That dude was fucked up though. He had like brain surgery and shit, jesus, he was on, so he was in the navy. It's funny, though, he was only a cook. He was a cook on one of the fucking ships. He was just a cook and then he got his fucking, I think. If I remember the correct the story correct, he was doing construction or something and somebody dropped like a big fucking piece of wood on his head.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, you tell me about that. Yeah, and it whacked him on the fucking head.
Speaker 1:Oh my god and he had to get brain surgery and then was just like retired on social security for the rest of his life. Jesus, dude, I mean good on him. Him and my grandma fucking went nuts. They traveled everywhere. They were doing all types of shit he lived a good life then. Yeah, yeah. At the end it's funny that everybody, they are fucking ready to go. They're like kill me please. I don't want to wake up tomorrow.
Speaker 2:And my grandson doesn't even know where he's at majority of the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what fucks me up is like when you start losing your mind. Yeah, like your memory and all that shit goes is fucked.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'd rather like Die in a brutal way I told my mom If anything ever fucked up Happens to me and I'm a vegetable, just pull the plug.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, you have to give Power of attorney To somebody who will Pull the plug.
Speaker 2:If you got fucked up In like a crazy ass Car accident, would you want your mom To take care of you For the rest of your life?
Speaker 1:I mean, it's easy to say now, but probably no, probably not. But then can you imagine if, like your mom, was a vegetable, would you be able to pull the plug on her? No, that's what I'm saying, that's. I mean, I'm not laughing because that's funny. Let's bring the mood up a little bit jesus christ, it's up. That's it's up.
Speaker 2:I like these conversations.
Speaker 3:Carlos is gone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is Eric's first appearance on the fucking cam.
Speaker 3:It's my first appearance, and this chair is not comfortable.
Speaker 2:No, that's why we told Carlos to grab the other chair.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know, it's just a fucking folding chair.
Speaker 3:It's so bad on my back Straight aluminum, I think.
Speaker 1:I'd like to fucking In the WWE. Do they make those chairs like? Are they not actual metal chairs like that?
Speaker 2:Or are they? No, there's no way they are.
Speaker 1:These fuckers are kind of heavy when you're swinging them around.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but they're professional man, they are. Think about it. I wanna see the micro ones.
Speaker 1:The micro wrestlers Damn, where have they been at they?
Speaker 3:were in my town.
Speaker 2:Those used to be all over Instagram. They were in. They were here In Orlando too. Ivan the micro. Well, no, it's funny, they have like a Dude. They have a roster of like nine or 10 of them. Hell yeah, they're deep.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all their names are so funny too. God damn it, I can't remember them.
Speaker 2:Well, they do the, they do the backyard wrestling too, something psycho.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's just psycho, psycho, psycho. And then Hot Mama or something like that they got the Elvis Presley looking like one Hold on, I'm going to look it up. All I can remember is the owner is like the smallest one. He's like I've been the micro Jesus Christ man. Those dudes, yeah, where did those guys go? We need them back. They were all over my Instagram forever. I love those guys, they might have fucking died.
Speaker 2:Look at the fucking pictures.
Speaker 1:Dude, it's so fucking awesome.
Speaker 2:Hold on, let me find their names.
Speaker 1:Look at this fucking guy yeah, find the roster Dude, and you know it's a good time too.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, they're chilling, dude. One of my boys went to one back home and I swiped up and he was saying like once they get like down into it and everything, they'll come over. And you got like half a beer, They'll slam you half the beer. Hell yeah, they'll be taking shots with you and then get right back in the ring.
Speaker 3:Dude, that's awesome dude. I want to see that show live.
Speaker 1:I don't know that background wrestling shit can go fucking pretty bad. Yeah, it's like when they're like. Yeah, there's like they're like not playing around, they're fully on fucking.
Speaker 2:Oh, they have a whole. It's the Micro Wrestling Federation. Yeah, follow them.
Speaker 1:Follow them 500K followers 558.
Speaker 3:Send me their page. Five of my boys follow them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hold on.
Speaker 1:They are fucking sick. They make all the videos where they introduce themselves.
Speaker 2:Lil Show Disco Dom Zach Presley, zach Presley, andrew the Giant Chef Littlefoot I like that one, jay, amazing Chief Littlefoot, chief Littlefoot, michael Jackson, carolina Reaper, the Lumberjack Bebop and Mr Nice Guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Michael Jackson is the Michael Jackson one.
Speaker 3:Let me see. Let me see Michael Jackson.
Speaker 1:Micro Jackson down there. Come on, man, Micro Jackson there, Come on man. Micro Jackson dude.
Speaker 3:That's awesome.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they got Little Miss. That's the one we know Hot Rod Jamaican Joe.
Speaker 2:That's a great movie. Hot Rod that's a hell of a fucking movie.
Speaker 1:Heavy Metal Mario. He's in a Mario costume. Let me see. Let me see.
Speaker 3:On the far left. He the left, wake up, come on man.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, ben Urkel. He's dressed as Urkel.
Speaker 3:He's a white guy, oh.
Speaker 1:God, that's awesome. Oh God, micro, suave, micro.
Speaker 2:Suave, that's a great one.
Speaker 1:Little Lex, ivan the Micro, there he is.
Speaker 3:He's top three, top three.
Speaker 1:Hotlanta Gomez Jr and JJ Reckless. Hell yeah, oh, there's more.
Speaker 3:There's three of them Top three.
Speaker 1:Baby Jesus.
Speaker 3:That one's OG and then Psycho, psycho's there, those three.
Speaker 1:Pinky Shortcake, she was in there. Micro Tiger Lil' Chola, lil' Chola.
Speaker 2:Little Chola everywhere, little Mexican lady, oh nice, nice.
Speaker 1:Little Chola. They got little Ozzy. He's just pretending to be Ozzy Osbourne. Nate, nate the gnome he's wearing a gnome hat. Olivia and Superfly knee high. Hell yeah, they got a ton of fuckers in there.
Speaker 3:Oh, my God Damn, I should have gone to the show.
Speaker 1:You should have those are, so they're probably so fucking fun, dude.
Speaker 3:Well, hopefully they come back.
Speaker 1:They all just like dress as fucking already things. Look at them. Holy, they're flying, dude, that's awesome. The little ring, it's like a little tiny ring. Oh my God, that's Jamaican Joe. No, jamaican Joe's going down. Is that the Mario? That's Mario.
Speaker 3:Do they all just go?
Speaker 1:Heavy Metal Mario is killing it, dude. That shit's so funny.
Speaker 2:They're on tour right now.
Speaker 1:That's Psycho, that was Psycho yeah, Message him Ryan. Fucking Christ.
Speaker 2:Those dudes are fucking crazy.
Speaker 1:This is like playing with your. Their ring literally looks like the fucking little action figure rings you can buy the robots. No, you never got in the fucking WWE action figures. I love those things, man, and they would have the ring that like has a spring under it that you could fucking jump your shit. My god, eric didn't have toys growing up no, I did not.
Speaker 3:Did you say?
Speaker 1:xboxes? No, he didn't have anything. You know what he had? Dirt dirt jesus cucumbers.
Speaker 2:That's kind of fucking racist man dirt and fruit. Cucumbers yeah, strawberries yeah eric, do you remember what you said to me when we passed that the you pick Dirt and fruit, cucumbers, strawberries. Yeah, eric, do you remember what you said to me when we passed that? You pick yourself. You pay to pick your own strawberries In the?
Speaker 3:field. You pass them every what, what February.
Speaker 2:Me and Eric would drive past. He said fucking people really fucking mean they pay for this kind of shit.
Speaker 1:They're paying to pick their own fruit.
Speaker 2:They're paying to pick their own strawberries In the field, in the fields.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how do you expect to find the ripe ones?
Speaker 2:Eric, how do you feel about people paying on their own accord to go out there and pick them?
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 1:Could you give us pumpkin picking? What about pumpkins?
Speaker 3:That's fine.
Speaker 1:Like pumpkin patches, that's fine, hell yeah. But, as a white guy. I see that. Why the fuck are you paying to pick?
Speaker 2:strawberries, strawberries and blueberries, it's those like that's wild.
Speaker 3:You got what you got. You got the Mexicans. I don't fucking know. I am curious though how would, wasn't that fucked up out in the fields like that, dude, it's like as a kid, like how it is now the weather, bro, you're as a kid. You're in that For like 12 hours a day, for as long as the day took, but yeah, you get up at 6.
Speaker 2:So for like summertime, it's like it gets light at like 6. I think it's dark until like 8, 8.30. You're out there for like 14, 14, 14 and a half hours a day.
Speaker 3:Yeah, god damn, yeah, dude.
Speaker 1:Did you have like AirPods in, you could listen?
Speaker 3:to music? No, not at that time, I didn't have any money to get that.
Speaker 2:God damn, it was bad dude.
Speaker 3:That sucks so bad.
Speaker 2:It's so bad Was our number one listener out there with you too.
Speaker 3:Yeah, not for a lot, but yeah, for a good amount too. They knew you were the worker. They sent you out. They sent me out. They knew you were the worker. Are you gonna do like double-handed, like no, it's just one, but, bro, it's like you're holding up a bucket full of like cucumbers and fruit, whatever, and it's like it's not. It's heavy dude, it gets like 50 pounds probably you're throwing it over your shoulder god damn, I don't know.
Speaker 1:How are they getting away with this?
Speaker 3:I don't know, I don't know they made a documentary about it, but I can never find it again we can only find the transcript yeah, like the yeah yeah, dude.
Speaker 2:Well yeah, there's footage over this all illegal yeah, like the holiday.
Speaker 3:You know as a kid you go to school, right, and the holidays are like winter break. You get like two weeks off Christmas break, thanksgiving break, dude. I hated those breaks because I had to go to work.
Speaker 2:I was like yeah, because Christmas break and New Year's break, it was like three weeks off of school Two usually it was like from yeah, it was Christmas and New Year's it was the worst dude I'd end my year day was you know what you're not gonna pick today?
Speaker 3:people love fruit man dude fucking. I seen a video recently about it. It was like a tractor, but now they got them on beds and they're picking strawberries.
Speaker 1:Well, every time so they would pick you up in that bus. No, how would you get?
Speaker 3:out there? Um, just walk there. What do you mean? Walk there? Oh no, we'd get out there with a truck. Right, you get there like you go to work. You drive to work were you with your family.
Speaker 1:There's like 15 of y'all in a truck yeah, wait, were you with your family? Yeah, god damn, yeah, god damn how far that field has to be. So big Dude they're big To be able to pick year round. It has to be fucking huge.
Speaker 3:Yeah, god damn. And even during the summer, dude, because right here they don't do it during the summer, they do it up north. So now we'd have to drive up north to go work again. So my summer break was even worse too. Where would y'all drive? To Michigan, get the fuck out of here, it's like a three-day trip to get there, yeah.
Speaker 2:You would drive from southwest Florida, from Huachula To Michigan.
Speaker 3:Yeah, holy fuck, it wasn't fun, dude. I mean, the traveling was pretty cool.
Speaker 1:They have y'all set up in like pretty nice cribs.
Speaker 3:No, not really.
Speaker 1:Was it like hotels.
Speaker 3:No, they were like trailer homes. I'm sorry, god damn, put the violin on again.
Speaker 1:This is like fucked up dude.
Speaker 3:Which one is it? I don't remember your bottom left Nope. No, the red ones, ones, the glowy ones, yeah, dude, how is this how is that?
Speaker 1:how much did you get paid? You got paid by how much you picked right yeah, you weren't getting paid though, were you? No, there's going to the family.
Speaker 3:Holy fuck, yeah, dude, dude, there was a guy out there with no leg. He was missing half his leg and he's out there Just stumbling around.
Speaker 1:How much, jesus fucking Christ, how much would you get? What would you get? Paid by the pound.
Speaker 3:You would get paid by the crate you would fill and, if I'm not mistaken, it would be like 30 bucks.
Speaker 1:So a different size crate for a different fruit.
Speaker 3:It would be like 30 bucks for the cucumber, at least 30 bucks for a whole crate. Yeah, and the crate's probably from me to you, probably to that table, to there. Holy shit, yeah, it's a big crate. You got to fill it up with cucumbers all the way up. Holy, I think it was like 30 bucks at the time. I don't know if that's a deal nowadays what?
Speaker 2:the fuck. But how long would that take?
Speaker 3:you take y'all to do as a family. It'd be my mom and dad, javier.
Speaker 2:No, gabby, me and wardo how long would it take you all five to fill that crate up? Probably like an hour, hour and a half and how many were y'all doing a day?
Speaker 3:shit, my dad would keep a record, he like we were only trying to hit 20 crates a day.
Speaker 2:Well, that's 500 bucks a day.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, but for five people that's 100 bucks a day for one person, holy shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, and depending on how you, that's like 10 bucks an hour, depending on how long you work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, that's less than 10 bucks an hour, god damn.
Speaker 3:But Javi was already. You guys were already out by the time javi came around.
Speaker 1:Uh no, we were still in there for a little bit. What changed? What'd your parents do to get the fuck out of there?
Speaker 3:I don't really know.
Speaker 1:I mean I doubt that's the american dream, they thought yeah now it might be, now they probably they're hanging out.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, a little bit.
Speaker 2:How is that legal? I don't think it is. It's like would you get a break.
Speaker 3:No, well, I think the way they got around it, because in Michigan I think they had like a pretty young age too, like where you can work, where you can legally work, probably like 12, 12 or 13, because you most places 16.
Speaker 2:I think it's 14 here in florida, 14 or 15.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but I think the way they would do it's like um, I don't even remember how they took, took my id. I don't have an id social security birth certificate parent, parent uh consent.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like getting a tattoo before you're 18 yeah, but they should have got.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's not right.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah they just signed you away on a bunch of shit you didn't even know you were signing off on. Yeah, dude, that's all it was.
Speaker 3:And there's no way to track your hours there, like nothing like that. That doesn't exist there. Would they pay for y'all to go to Michigan? They'd pay us gas money, yeah, but no vehicle. That's it, that's nice.
Speaker 1:You know what During Christmas I?
Speaker 3:will say that during Christmas they did give us Christmas gifts. They gave you a little something. Yeah, he's like a little something. They would say no more than 20 bucks, though.
Speaker 2:God damn, eric, god damn.
Speaker 3:It sounds sad, a nerf football.
Speaker 2:No, it's not sad, it's just like it's kind of-.
Speaker 3:No, it's the like it's, it's not, it's not sad, it's like it's just crazy to hear. No, when I talk about it. I'm not sad about it.
Speaker 1:No, it is just like true shit that happened well, I mean, you think I mean that's what I was telling your brother too. Uh, wardo, it's like I mean that is what made you like the people you are now.
Speaker 2:Work ethic wise and, but it's still pretty fucked up. That's fucked up, that is insane. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I just still don't understand. We should fucking bring them down. Let's use this podcast to bring them down? Yeah, isn't it just one company? Yeah.
Speaker 2:What's the company called?
Speaker 3:I don't know.
Speaker 1:Come immediately with a cease and desist. They're going to sue us.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they have to be. I mean, how big can they be, you know what? Maybe that explains why the documentary's not out, no more.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. They got to be pretty big, getting thousands of fucking immigrants to work for them.
Speaker 2:Dude, that's child labor laws right there.
Speaker 3:Hell, yeah. Well, now it's getting even worse. What do you mean with? Oh, no more immigrants coming over. No, there's too many. No, I'm saying now they're bringing in more, but it's for them to work there and those types of places.
Speaker 1:Oh, they're bringing them in themselves. Yeah, they put them almost on like salary.
Speaker 3:They can pay them less than they can pay us like. If you're still working in the field right now, think about the competition there yeah, they're paying, probably like fuck it's on salary like 15 like for us. We got lucky because, you know, at the time, at least from what I remember, it wasn't that many people working like competition wise. Now it's oversaturated.
Speaker 2:Now, yeah, dude, last time we were on 17 coming up from naples. Did you see the bus? No, you really come. You were like 10 minutes behind me. There was like two or three buses that came through.
Speaker 3:It was full like every single bus. It looked like a prison bus. I remember one time some dude did yell out like to us some white dude in this truck. What is that?
Speaker 2:he's like you, fucking wetbacks oh my fruit, oh my god he was just having a goof.
Speaker 3:Oh my god I remember I just looked at, uh, at my older brother at the time he's and I'm just like what the hell? And we just got back down and he kept picking. Yeah, dude, god damn. I will say that only happened every once would you compare yourself?
Speaker 1:do you think your upbringing was compared, comparatively, to a slave?
Speaker 3:That's a good question, that's a good question I don't know, I felt like I was a slave there. Dude, I was working for chump change.
Speaker 1:It's funny how everybody does correlate. Slave is just a word being like Owned. I think You're owned. Everybody correlates it to black people in early America, Not even just America. They had fucking slaves everywhere.
Speaker 3:Everybody owned people all the time I'm calling on Nike.
Speaker 2:Where did slavery start from?
Speaker 1:Africa. I think so right Started from Africa. But everybody says slavery came from the white man, the Europeans.
Speaker 3:No, they didn't.
Speaker 1:No, they didn't. Slavery was not invented by the white man. No, maybe we perfected it we didn't.
Speaker 3:No, it's been around. You guys did perfect it.
Speaker 1:Stop categorizing, let's say modern day slavery. That literally is modern day slavery. Yeah, that's fucking nuts. I can't Dude. I was fucking chilling on Christmas break.
Speaker 2:I was hanging out. That's why it's not that it's.
Speaker 1:It's so like mind-boggling to me, but it's like yeah well, it is mind-boggling when I I think I've said it on here it's like when I first came down and so different I heard you talking about the fields, I literally thought you were like joking. No, I didn't know, it was like a true thing no, no it was like I've never fucking like what are you talking about? You fucking pick fruit.
Speaker 3:Good on you some people are just good at it.
Speaker 2:Well, I guess, yes, slavery is a good. It's a good comparison to it, because that's modern day. That's exactly what it sounds like.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what depends? Maybe they're fucking paying them good now I doubt it.
Speaker 3:It's probably worse.
Speaker 1:And even then, dude what I was, I yell at you guys sometimes when I'm like uh, at the grocery store like seven dollars for this shit, like seven dollars for like a tiny little crate of fucking strawberries box that that you know how it's usually in that cardboard box.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so that box filled up like that at the time at least for me when I was down there, it's probably like 70 cents, 60 cents, and this is like pounds of it. Yeah, dude and they're selling it. For how much? Yeah, are you telling me they don't have any money to pay these people that little plastic container strawberries at publics or walmart.
Speaker 2:Yeah, seven or eight dollars for like a dozen of them. Yeah. Watermelon is the worst Watermelon is so expensive, so fucking expensive.
Speaker 1:Well, look at all the channels that it has to go through to get to my fucking cart.
Speaker 2:Jesus Christ Kyle.
Speaker 1:Same thing with clothing dude, don't come here illegally, jeez, it's not worth it. Man, I'm telling you, don't come here illegally, jeez.
Speaker 3:It's not worth it, man. It's not. It's not.
Speaker 1:No. No it seems like it's not very worth it. Fuck. No, I'd like to go to Mexico illegally, just kind of be an immigrant down there.
Speaker 2:I just want to go for the pharmacies.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we'd get robbed immediately.
Speaker 2:If I went to Mexico? Yeah, what?
Speaker 1:part of. Mexico, mexico City. Yeah, I think it's pretty fucked up down there. Tijuana is pretty. Tijuana is right there on the border of San Diego, so I don't think a ton of shit happens down there.
Speaker 2:It's cartel land out there.
Speaker 1:Where's Chapo from Medellin?
Speaker 2:Is it Guadalajara? No, it's not Guadalajara.
Speaker 1:El Chapo.
Speaker 2:Yeah, where's Chapo from Chapo El Chapo? I have no idea, cause Escobar was Medellin. Was Medellin In Colombia? Yeah?
Speaker 1:That was Colombia. Damn, I missed that Fucking guy. Narcos made him Like such a Cool fucker he was. He was like such a Fucking cool dude. Have you seen the actual?
Speaker 2:footage. Have you seen the actual footage of him, like those Real life YouTube videos and shit? Yeah, he's badass. He's badass. Well, he's also a fucking terrorist. He's a domestic terrorist.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he was killing politicians and shit.
Speaker 2:He was killing politicians. He bombed that plane.
Speaker 1:That Medellin was like his. That was. Didn't he try to run?
Speaker 3:Yeah, he try to run, yeah, he tried to run for congress or something he got into congress and then his mugshot got, his mugshot got.
Speaker 2:That was all real dude.
Speaker 3:That's when someone that knows his shit gets up there to be like political and shit.
Speaker 2:Well, the only reason he wanted to get into congress, cause every politician has 100% immunity, like immunity to everything.
Speaker 1:I remember watching those first two seasons of Narcos being like this dude's fucking awesome.
Speaker 3:This dude's so cool, I haven't watched it yet. I watched like two episodes. You haven't seen Narcos, but not like that, no, dude, because they have Narcos.
Speaker 2:It's crazy they have Narcos and then they have Narcos Mexico.
Speaker 1:And they're both like really good and before Chapo.
Speaker 2:No, it's the whole the Narcos is. It goes to Pablo.
Speaker 1:Sinaloa it goes to Sinaloa right.
Speaker 2:It goes to Cali, cali and then Sinaloa.
Speaker 1:Then Sinaloa Cali cartel, because wasn't Chapo like a driver? He was Pablo Escobar's right-hand man.
Speaker 2:He was like a tiny little guy. He was Pablo's right-hand man and did some crazy-ass run for him or something like that. My uncle looked like that, like Pablo.
Speaker 1:He was like Pablo, yeah, yeah, when, narcos and it's. I mean you'd fucking love it. It's all in fucking Spanish.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's all in Spanish.
Speaker 1:We have to it's fucking reading subtitles the entire time.
Speaker 2:Because you heard about the United States on the border of Mexico and the United States where they built an underground tunnel and they were just funneling drugs Out of a. Taco Bell Out of a Taco Bell, damn From the bottom of it. The same way El Chapo escaped from prison. Yeah, that fucking makes sense. Like it was like an 8 or 10 mile tunnel and they were just running drugs through there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Imagine getting paid though.
Speaker 2:Cause you know he's getting paid.
Speaker 3:Those people paid those people that much money to do that shit. Hell yeah, if you're willing to dig a tunnel for some dude Cause.
Speaker 2:What is it? What's the movie with Tom Cruise, american Made, where he's a drug runner? Yeah, bear's Heel, mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:Yeah, True story. Same with like well, that's that whole Sicario shit. All those like, what do they?
Speaker 1:call those dudes who bring other people across.
Speaker 2:Coyotes.
Speaker 1:Coyote, coyote. And then they have the Sicario's Get paid. Fucking money, dude, you know, on the border like Arizona. Texas all that you can buy a fucking fat house for like all the property down there is so fucking cheap because it's right on the border. You're gonna have a ton of mexicans crawling over your shit at night. Yeah, it's fucking nuts, because it's my uncle just came over.
Speaker 3:Well, when I say he came over illegally, he came over illegally. My brother picked him up. Your older brother, javier. Your older brother, my older brother from like two, three years ago now. Damn, where'd he drive to? Somewhere in Texas, texas? Yeah, plano, probably. It was probably.
Speaker 2:Plano.
Speaker 1:I'm telling you the property value down there Is fucking nice, but you gotta do he went back just recently. You might have. Oh shit, they got him, no oh.
Speaker 3:He got deported no he got deported.
Speaker 1:No, no, he went back to pick up some more. No, pick up some more relatives. That is wild, though, do like, because your parents came over here and that makes you first generation right, yeah, so as soon as they have a kid here, they're good. Yeah, the kid, yeah, the kid is he's, yeah, born here, he's good I don't know about the parents.
Speaker 3:Maybe that's what I'm saying. That's where I'm like.
Speaker 1:I have no idea, just too many if you don't get caught. Yeah, thank god they did end up getting their citizenship, and I also think like if you're working towards the citizenship, because that's all through, like the records and government.
Speaker 3:I think that's a very big, like yeah.
Speaker 2:It's like a 10 year wait, though yeah, it's a long time.
Speaker 3:It's a really long time, that's why they stay illegal whenever they get pulled over. They just do they. Even that process is so long to be legal here. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:By the time you what's the process of if you're here legally and then you get arrested? You go to ice and getting deported. How long is that fucking process? I have no idea right.
Speaker 1:But also I think it like a like. If you have records of like trying to become a citizen, like you already have all this shit, I think you're not really on their list. It's the fuckers they pull over that have like nothing.
Speaker 3:No, and even then, dude, it's still a game Like bro. At the end of the day, it just comes down to money. It's a cat and mouse game.
Speaker 1:USA, usa, get the fuck out of here, dude. They're trying. Apparently, they're coming.
Speaker 3:Mexico's going. I like America, dude, I like America, but sometimes it's fucked up.
Speaker 1:Would you rather be in Mexico?
Speaker 2:I don't know where I'd rather be. I've never been to Mexico. I don't know. You never know until you try, buddy.
Speaker 3:You know what? I don't wanna it's like me saying the same thing. You guys just said what?
Speaker 1:Like I've never been to Mexico. Oh yeah, yes, you have.
Speaker 3:One time when I was 10.
Speaker 2:What if you go down to Mexico and you fucking love it down there. You never want to leave. Yeah, what about it? I said you would never want to leave.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't like the look, I don't like them Jesus.
Speaker 2:Christ, jesus Christ. That's not the answer I was hoping for. Buddy, not on the record.
Speaker 1:No, I just.
Speaker 2:Kyle, you got to go to like not Mexico, you know like Colombia or Brazil, because they're white out there.
Speaker 1:I don't think you want to go. I mean, brazil is nice, but that's where, where they got All those. I'm not going to Brazil.
Speaker 2:Favelas. It's fucked up out there. All that real fucked up shit. Colombia is fucked up too.
Speaker 1:Colombia has always been fucked, see, but we've never been there. Maybe it's fucking nice as hell. Apparently beautiful women down there.
Speaker 2:Have you seen that dude that does like he travels Across?
Speaker 3:the world.
Speaker 2:That's where Drake knows BBL, drizzy, bbl man and he does like the YouTube videos where he's walking through the streets of Columbia or Medellin, Cali, Bogota and all that Insane. Yeah, they're all. Just it's insane.
Speaker 1:And they're just all prostitutes. You just fuck them. You can literally just fuck anybody off the street.
Speaker 2:That's kind of scary, is it that? That's kind of scary? Is it? That's how it is? Yeah, I talk a lot of shit, but it's like I also don't want to get my dick burnt. Yeah, you talk a lot of shit, and then you hire two strippers and you can't get it up.
Speaker 1:That's not what I said at all, but all right Way to hit me in the heart where?
Speaker 2:it hurts at buddy. That's tough.
Speaker 1:But I mean it happens.
Speaker 2:Are you going to get it up if you pay for two strippers Hit?
Speaker 3:that thing again. No, hit the one on the. You're right, you're right, no.
Speaker 2:Down, down, down. That was perfect. Are you going to get it up?
Speaker 1:If I paid for two strippers? Yeah, no, probably not, because I'd be.
Speaker 2:No, you'd have to.
Speaker 1:I'd be blacked out if I was going to pay for two strippers. I would have to be in me, I'd have to be so fucked up I was. Then why'd you? Yeah, I was concoction, buddy concoction. Yeah, I don't know. I like this mexico shit do you have a passport?
Speaker 2:uh no do you have one? Yeah we gotta get a pat.
Speaker 3:We got your passports for what you guys gotta see the other world.
Speaker 2:Go down to Mexico. You can't go to Mexico without a passport.
Speaker 1:I'd rather go so many other places in the world Than Mexico.
Speaker 3:Where it's not as bad as it seems, not like on TV.
Speaker 2:Greece, italy I would love to go to Greece, alright, I would.
Speaker 1:You know I wanna no I would, I would, I would.
Speaker 2:You know I want to. No, I would, I would, I would, I would. But Kyle, kyle, guess what we're going to see when we go over there? Hmm, white girls. I love white girls. If it ain't white, it ain't right. And that's what you live by.
Speaker 1:That's your words.
Speaker 3:That's not mine. That's a very bad sound bite.
Speaker 2:Whoever, whoever, whoever hears this I'm just saying it for him.
Speaker 3:You know that's a very bad take. What do you mean? That's?
Speaker 2:a very bad take, Ryan. I'm just saying it for Kyle.
Speaker 3:So you're joking.
Speaker 2:I'm not joking, that's even worse, I'm not joking.
Speaker 1:All I said was there's very many more places I'd like to go, more than Mexico. I could drive to Mexico Two of my boys went to Greece. I'd like to go somewhere I can't fucking drive to.
Speaker 2:Two of my boys went to Greece with their family and they were on some island, like a little two mile island. They got same shit with me. They got kidnapped and they got beat up Like they got the shit beat out of them and their parents thought they died in Greece. So they called the cops and all that shit and did like a whole police report on them and everything see, but that's why I like it.
Speaker 1:There's nowhere. If I go to italy, if I go to greece, nobody fucking with me. I ain't getting fucked up by nobody out there, I'm not either.
Speaker 3:To your point I will say they, they just I believe. I saw in the news a couple weeks, months, maybe years, a lady won but after like fucking 7, 30, 30 people died. Wait, what wait? What do you mean? They got assassinated as they're running for president. Where? Where? In Mexico. Oh, I thought we were talking about Greece, oh. I could be tripping, I don't know. I thought we were talking about Greece.
Speaker 2:I'm just yapping. No, dude, you're talking a big game over there, buddy why I just said I'd rather go somewhere other than Mexico. Nobody's fucking with me.
Speaker 1:In Greece or fucking Italy, I'll beat, I'll swear to God one-on-one against anybody from fucking Italy.
Speaker 2:I'm taking it 100%, 100,000%, you're done. You said Italy. What about Greece?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I hate Greeks. I don't hate Greeks, I don't hate Greeks.
Speaker 3:That's a bad take. That's on the record. I'm joking.
Speaker 1:I'm just joking, don't double down. No, it's like everybody always like oh, the Greeks came up with fucking everything. It's like they invented math. They invented democracy did you say math, math, democracy, all this shit. It's like, yeah, but look at you guys now man, look at Greece now. It's beautiful. I'd love to go there one day. You know where I'd rather go in these 50 states, more than Mexico, where I'd rather go back to Alaska.
Speaker 2:Damn, what was so cool about Alaska? Alaska was fucking awesome, just from the views, the scenery, it's everything, bro.
Speaker 3:I like the complete opposite of South America.
Speaker 2:Was there females out there too?
Speaker 1:No, there's really nobody out there, not very many people.
Speaker 2:That's perfect Cows have a cat out there.
Speaker 1:You're sea level, but there's fucking mountains coming out of the ocean. It's fucking sick. You know where I'd rather go, other than Mexico, where Hawaii? I'd fucking go other than Mexico, where Hawaii.
Speaker 2:I'd fucking love to go to Hawaii. I would fucking breed so many Samoans down there I would.
Speaker 1:Mexico has to be like 50th on my list to go to.
Speaker 2:My number one right now is Medellin in Colombia. You want to go there? So bad, why? I don't know. You know why. We all know why. I'm going to go find my wife down there.
Speaker 1:You're going to go find a fucking ski slope down there.
Speaker 2:Oh, like a motherfucker like a.
Speaker 1:You're going to go skiing down there Like a Skiing or snowboarding, which one?
Speaker 3:I guess there's a difference.
Speaker 1:To get to snowboarding you might have to ski a little bit.
Speaker 2:Exactly what I'm going to be in the next store on 90 Day Fiance.
Speaker 1:Yeah, bro, you'd go to fucking Thailand, you'd get a little lady boy.
Speaker 2:No, no, they're fucking Thailand.
Speaker 1:They're on purpose. They trick you out there. They're pretty hot out there.
Speaker 2:Well, I told you, kid, I do to do it. Dude, a motherfucker I know just got back from thailand he said it's fucking hard. He's like you got really gotta look. You know what I mean like you really gotta look, are you sure, your boys, I don't?
Speaker 1:know I don't know, I don't know I don't know well, that's what's weird about asians, like they're already androgynous as it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like you can't really tell dude, because this motherfucker was telling me some stories when I was giving him that look. So he started pulling his phone out and showing me videos. He was in some fucking village up there in the mountains and he pulled up on a village and they were cockfighting.
Speaker 3:Oh, like with the roosters, yeah, I was about to say, if you said something else.
Speaker 1:Not with actual. They're actual, no, no, no.
Speaker 2:They're cockfighting. They're out there with roosters fighting and that's illegal in America but in other countries.
Speaker 1:They don't have fucking animal rights in fucking countries like that?
Speaker 2:No, no, they have pet elephants out there. He was showing me videos of dudes riding elephants that are chained off their trees and all that shit. It's like God damn.
Speaker 1:Yeah, look at all the weird shit that I guess we think is weird, but it's a part of their culture. And all the weird shit. Fucking Asian people eat Cats. That's a very bad.
Speaker 3:Take Ryan Dogs.
Speaker 1:What was the place that just recently banned eating dogs? It was pretty recently banned eating dogs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you see those videos. I know you've seen the videos. They have dogs and cats on rotisseries.
Speaker 3:That's what they do over there.
Speaker 2:It's the truth If they ever did that to mine.
Speaker 1:To your dogs. You think you could ever eat your dog? No.
Speaker 3:Does dog meat good? It's gotta be. Never known to you. Try, it's gotta be.
Speaker 2:They say gator meat tastes like chicken, so dog meat might taste like chicken.
Speaker 1:I mean you fucking bread and deep fry. Anything is going to taste good. I'll put some ranch on that fucker. Put some ketchup and ranch on that motherfucker. A little bit of olive oil on there too, Sprinkle it on top. Hell. No, you think we should have dropped the bombs on them.
Speaker 2:On who? Japan. Yeah, yeah, a hundred thousand percent, because it was Hiroshima, nagasaki and Hiroshima, nagasaki and Hiroshima.
Speaker 1:You're fucking a hundred percent. Who dropped? What was it? Little Boy and Fat man.
Speaker 2:And they both. Those were fucking, those were fucked up. Those were like fucking. What? Dextramental? Is that the good word for it? Dextramental, what's the word? Detrimental? Detrimental, sorry To what? The whole country, their society, their society, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they came out with fucking Hello Kitty. After that you ever see Oppenheimer? No, you might think a little differently after you see Oppenheimer.
Speaker 2:You're a very movie-based guy, Kyle.
Speaker 1:I love movies, but you know what I will say? They woke the sleeping, they woke us up. Dude, here we go. Don't fucking bomb my goddamn harbor.
Speaker 2:Don't, don't fuck with the motherland.
Speaker 1:No, the USA is not the motherland, that's Russia.
Speaker 2:What the fuck are we then? I thought we were the motherland.
Speaker 3:God, you got it confused this whole time.
Speaker 1:No, the motherland they call motherland Russia, russia is the motherland, mother Russia, mother Russia. Yeah, they love.
Speaker 2:Russia. Pearl Harbor is a good-ass movie, though Crazy-ass movie.
Speaker 1:Oh, Pearl Harbor, the movie. It's got fucking Ben Affleck in it, yeah yeah. I thought it was a shit movie.
Speaker 2:This fucking guy, this fucking guy, this fucking guy always got a fucking rebuttal, always got a fucking rebuttal towards me you hate people who rebuttal dude.
Speaker 1:I'd like to become a citizen of fucking Canada.
Speaker 2:Maybe I'll move up there they got good beer but apparently it's more fucked up there than it is down here. You know what's so funny, they'll pay you.
Speaker 1:Is it Alaska or Canada? It's. Alaska, where they pay you to live out there, dude you can find videos like YouTube videos of black dudes Just fucking chilling in Alaska being like, yeah, shit's fucking tight.
Speaker 2:They're in the projects out there.
Speaker 1:They're like doing donuts on the fucking ice with their fucking cars. It's fucking awesome, dude. They're like, yeah, it's type shit. It's like it's pretty cold, type shit, but we chilling. It's like dude.
Speaker 3:It's so funny. I don't know how people Do it in the snow. I mean. Luckily I left Michigan Before it started snowing, thank God.
Speaker 1:Have you still never seen?
Speaker 3:snow. I've never seen it, I haven't either.
Speaker 1:You've never seen snow either.
Speaker 2:I mean, I went to, we went to that we went to that glacier in uh, it was colorado springs, yeah, but it was. It was frozen over, but it wasn't like snow like that, it was a little bit ice out there yeah, no, snow is.
Speaker 1:If you don't fucking live in snow, it's pretty nice.
Speaker 2:Can you drive in the snow? You can? I'm talking about, can you?
Speaker 1:I can, yeah, I'm more comfortable driving in the snow than like fucking torrential downpour here for real. You put those chains on no, that's just for like 18 wheelers and shit. Well, because out there, where it's like you're going down fucking mountains, bro, it's like the mountain roads that weave back and forth getting all the way down with no, with no guard rails or anything.
Speaker 2:With you go off, you're off the mountain with that weave, back and forth getting all the way down.
Speaker 3:Dude, it's so bad With no guardrails or anything. It's crazy, you go off and you're off the mountain.
Speaker 2:I started tripping out with this dude, that's how it is in Tennessee.
Speaker 3:I started tripping out.
Speaker 2:You can go. You can fall 10,000 feet off a fucking mountain Dude.
Speaker 3:it's so dark and I'm going through these mountains.
Speaker 1:Just woom, woom, go straight down. So you're just like weaving back and forth, like down it. Yeah, tennessee, what the fuck? The fucking mountains in Tennessee? Yes, there is how about you go to the fucking Rockies and tell me what you think, motherfucker?
Speaker 2:I didn't drive when we were up there that's the thing, dude.
Speaker 3:We're not from places like that, so we have no idea.
Speaker 2:I was in the back seat my boy was freaking out. We're going 15 miles an Around the curves and everything. Yeah, no Like.
Speaker 1:I said I don't Florida boys, Florida boys I get more, way more anxious driving in like heavy rain than I did in the snow. I'm usually driving in the rain. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I like I don't mind driving in the snow Because, like I mean, in the snow you'll feel like your back end kick out a little bit.
Speaker 1:You start fishing a little bit, but it's like no, it's, it's, it's a good time. It's also fucking like during the during, like the winter time, like Christmas, Thanksgiving, Nice. It's like sitting out where we were just sitting out on your back deck watching like the rain. How it's so cool. It's like, bro, like it's so weird too, Cause when it like snows a lot where are we at?
Speaker 1:it's like um time, wise hour and three minutes. Damn, that's fine. We're just like when it's snowing all ever. All of the noise is muffled. So there's, it's completely silent. Wow, when does?
Speaker 2:it start snowing up in colorado, because I was there. It depends it can start as early as like I was there at the end of September into the beginning of October. Yeah, it can start then I want to go there. But it was sitting at like Fuck, it was probably like 30 degrees, yeah, 30, 35 degrees, something like that. That's usually around then, like October yeah because our AC went out in the hotel room and my boy woke me up freaking out. I'm like bro, it's like fucking 30 degrees outside.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's open a window.
Speaker 2:I was like we're fine. He just cracked the door and we were fine. You know what?
Speaker 1:I mean yeah, around that time, but dude, it's like it's silent, like you can't hear you can't hear like any, any cars, you're just watching like snowfall and in complete silence. And it's weird too, cause at night, if you're like, at night, it's so bright out because the moonlight is like reflecting off so like everything is like bright. You can still see what it's. Fucking wild dude, dude. I want to go.
Speaker 3:When's the best time to go? Well?
Speaker 1:I would say the best time to go is during the fall, but if you want to see snow I don't know Thanksgiving In the wintertime.
Speaker 3:I'm not too crazy about snow.
Speaker 2:I want to go see snow, the fall, I do.
Speaker 1:I think the fall in Colorado, like Midwest type shit, is the best Because it's like still Still bright, like no clouds, the sun is out, but it's still like 75 degrees, like 70 to 75 degrees.
Speaker 3:Like 70 to 75 degrees.
Speaker 1:That sounds fine, and you're chilling dude.
Speaker 2:Damn. It's like not too hot Would y'all get snowed out like in elementary school, middle school and high school We'd have snow days.
Speaker 1:Damn, it would snow too much, like the buses couldn't come pick people up, so we'd get a snow day.
Speaker 2:That's fine.
Speaker 1:We used to get hurt. We got hurricane days. Yeah, I think our snow days Were way more prevalent Than hurricane days, we would get hurt.
Speaker 2:I remember fucking it was kindergarten and first grade we were off for like two weeks as a hurricane. God damn it was fucked up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, and I wasn't even Like, we weren't even Like super close To the mountains, like that. So our snow days would Come and go, but it would snow Every fucking winter. That's fine.
Speaker 3:Bro, we haven't had a Hurricane here in a minute.
Speaker 1:What has it been like Three years now? Yeah, people, people have.
Speaker 3:A lot of people have moved here. No, it's not, it's not three years.
Speaker 2:No, it's the end of 2022, so just about when was. Ian, the end of September 2022?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so almost Two years now two years Because that fucking. When Ian hit, I was like yo, this is fucked up.
Speaker 2:I was scared, bro. That's the one where you lost power for like a week or so, whatever, and the next one hit like 40, 45 days later For all the new people moving in dude, it's not going to be fun for you.
Speaker 3:It's not fun, I love hurricanes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I fucking Ian was fucked up dude, I was like.
Speaker 2:You. Yeah, I, fucking ian was fucked up. Dude, I was like you came to pick me up and you were so mad you're like this fucking piece of shit didn't fucking lose power, but I fucking down.
Speaker 1:I was like I I just lost wi-fi buddy and I was like kind of chilling, but that shit is scary, bro, you can, like I was watching like roof tiles fly off of buildings across from mine.
Speaker 3:It's fucking nuts trees falling on roofs, hell yeah I lost my fucking car.
Speaker 2:I lost my car, dude. You fully got flooded.
Speaker 1:I fully got. You didn't lose power, but you lost your car.
Speaker 2:I lost my car, my fucking Ford Fiesta. Man RIP, rip, man RIP. She was a fucking great car, dude, yeah, no.
Speaker 3:The Hurricane? No, the hurricane. They're fucked up, dude. You had to drive me to work for what? Like a month, a month and a half, that match not that long. It's a couple weeks, two weeks or something like that, dude. Out of all the natural events, though, I will say earthquakes, I don't ever want to experience.
Speaker 2:We're watching those fucking tornado videos. I'd rather deal with a hurricane than a tornado no, tornadoes are wild.
Speaker 1:Earthquakes are scary though, I think, because they come out of nowhere there's a good ass documentary on netflix about when the earthquake hit.
Speaker 3:These people were on mount everest, yeah watch that tsunami dude.
Speaker 1:Tsunamis are the scariest what is that to do? What? What is that documentary called?
Speaker 3:it's called break or something like that. Whatever you just look up um netflix earthquake, um documentary mount everest it's crazy dude.
Speaker 1:Well, they happen in Cali a lot Because the tectonic plates they're shifting and shit. It's like just rattle your entire fucking no.
Speaker 3:I don't want to die with people from LA Hell. No, Hell.
Speaker 1:no, yeah I don't know, I'm from there, not LA, but Cali that's crazy.
Speaker 2:Our whole co-worker knew exactly where you were from.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, knew exactly where you were from. Little town, little town, south southern Cali. Cali's a west coast boy I am. It's too fucking hot out here, man, I gotta go back over there that is too hot. It's fucking nice, it's like the same weather out there, but it's not fucking humid like this shit but was arizona better fuck no, in the summer for sure not, because arizona doesn't have fucking humidity, so there's no heat index so they're just sitting up.
Speaker 1:So if it's 120, it's 120 and it gets up to 120. God damn Of just dry heat Like there is just a sun Like. There's no fucking nothing else. It's fucking brutal. God damn that shit sucked ass. Force of nature, dude, mother nature, yeah, she's going to fucking kill us all.
Speaker 3:Hopefully. Hell yeah, she is In a good way though. Like imagine, like you ever seen the Happening where they just fucking kill themselves. Oh yeah, that was a weird movie. Is that the? With Mark Wahlberg?
Speaker 1:Is that the one where he kills his family, and then the no, I'm thinking of a different one.
Speaker 3:Maybe I'm thinking of the Mist. Maybe then he turns on the mower and he just walks under it.
Speaker 1:Oh no, I'm thinking of the Mist.
Speaker 3:Jesus.
Speaker 2:Christ, what the fuck.
Speaker 3:Look it up, the Happening, I think it's on Netflix.
Speaker 1:Yeah, people just start committing suicide. It's a crazy movie. I was thinking of the Mist.
Speaker 3:I think it's an M Night Shyamalan movie.
Speaker 1:That's the one where they're in the grocery store. That's the. Oh fuck. Then which one am I? Not that one. I'm thinking of the one where Clover, when he kills his, they're in the car and he kills his own family, his son and wife.
Speaker 3:I'm pretty sure that's the happening.
Speaker 1:And then the military. And then the military comes up and he's like saved.
Speaker 3:Maybe the happening oh no, it is the mist. Is that the mist? I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 1:Kill me if I'm wrong. He was like he only had two bullets.
Speaker 3:Like Kevin Gates, he only had two bullets left.
Speaker 1:Don't say that.
Speaker 3:Kevin.
Speaker 2:Gates. He only had two bullets left.
Speaker 3:Don't say that, don't say that. What did he say? Lord, take my children today.
Speaker 2:Oh my, he said, lord, if I didn't start that car battery with my hands, take my children, kill them right now, Right now. Right now, my God, they were like relax, he's like fuck, kill them right now. Kill them, my God, damn my God, daniel.
Speaker 1:Kevin Gates is nuts dude he's fucking awesome, he's fucking nuts.
Speaker 2:Holy shit.
Speaker 1:I mean fuck, All right boys. I think that was a cast. Yeah, I don't know how good I feel like this one was. Okay, what do you mean? I don't think it was a great outing for Eric's first pod on here. Well, that's who I am. You did get to learn a lot about Eric. I just feel bad I don't think it was as funny. I thought it was hilarious.
Speaker 2:No, it's good, I liked it, it's a good one.
Speaker 1:All right then.
Speaker 2:I got to piss. So fucking bad it's a democracy here, if you guys.
Speaker 3:Welcome to the USA. Bitch People got to know the truth. There's stories out there, man. People gotta listen.
Speaker 1:That is true, they don't really know you like that. No, they don't, they know us, we've been on here a while.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they know, mr Happy. Go Lucky, eric, they know.
Speaker 1:Eric behind the scenes. Yeah, now you know. Eric In front of the scenes. Hit the button. That's also we have to work out this fucking guy. Look at this guy.
Speaker 3:Ryan, don't touch anything there. No, no, I will say we just. It's just some real shit, though it's not even like to me. Like I said, it's not sad or anything like that. It is what it is, it's just like. I grew up it's hilarious.
Speaker 1:not for you, I guess, no.
Speaker 2:I'm outside looking in. No.
Speaker 3:But, next time.
Speaker 1:But yeah, if this does get uploaded, this is how.
Speaker 3:It will, it will.
Speaker 1:Shit's going nowadays Chill. We're trying to just do a little bit of. We've been fucking putting too much bullshit on this. Yeah, and it's not we fucking putting too much bullshit on this? Yeah, and it's not. We're just hanging out, we're just talking, hanging out, chopping it up?
Speaker 2:Yeah, same with videos.
Speaker 1:Video will be here. Video will not be here. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Who knows when the video will be out. It's all sporadic. Now it's going to be up in the air.
Speaker 3:But the audio will come out every Monday lows, we're hitting lows every day. Every day, we're hitting lows.
Speaker 2:Every week it's a new fucking low, buddy. What it is, though you're living and learning. It is what it is, and this one ain't my brother, yeah, if we ever.
Speaker 1:I think our listeners are falling off a little bit, yeah, but thank you thanks for being here. If you're falling off, suck my fat cock and balls hell yeah, if you don't listen to this fucking I want. I was gonna say he was gonna. He was gonna say kill yourself, but he doesn't mean kill you.
Speaker 2:Don't fucking do that. Don't do that. Kyle's a new man, now even new man.
Speaker 1:He's a new man, new horizons new beginnings I'd like you to write me a manifesto and then fucking take a gun into a grocery. Anybody who doesn't listen to this fucking podcast, alright, pussies alright, bye yeah, that's the podcast, goodbye.