“Can I Help You?” is Killing Your Sales - Here’s What to Say Instead

Still opening with “Can I help you?” or “How are you today?”. It might be doing more harm than good.

In this episode of The Reality is Sales Training, Bob and Ann explore why the most common ways to begin a sales conversation often fall flat – and what to do instead. 

Whether you’re speaking to customers in person, over the phone, or through digital chat, your first ten seconds can shape the entire interaction. From more natural openings to smart ways of showing you’ve done your research, this episode gives you practical ideas that build real engagement and credibility. 

You’ll learn: 

·         Why greetings like “How are you today?” often feel insincere

·         How to open in a way that feels natural and gets real responses

·         What a small shift in your opening line can do for first impressions

·         Tried-and-tested examples that work across industries

If you want to improve the way you start conversations and set the tone for better outcomes, this one’s worth a listen.

Explore resources, insights, and tools tailored to support your team's success and strategic growth at realitytraining.com.

Transcript

Ineffective Conversation Openings

Speaker 1 0:00

Hello, you're through to Bob's Travel Agency. Can I help you?

Speaker 2 0:03

Hi. Yes, I just wanted to inquire about a holiday from my Ah right, oh, you ever do loads of them, you OK. Yeah, I'm fine thanks.

Speaker 1 0:12

Great. How are you today?

Speaker 2 0:14

Well, not great. Actually Got a bit of a headache.

Speaker 1 0:19

I'm sorry to hear that. So how may I help you today? I want to book a holiday okay, um, right, right, yeah, I can help you with that was an example of a series of what we would call, in the trade, ineffective openings to a conversation.

Why "How Are You Today?" Fails

Speaker 1 1:02

now I actually articulated the first one far better than many do. I said can I help you? But of course, as my co-host knows, people don't always say can I help you, do they? No, it comes out as help you, help you. And this happens on the phone, it happens face-to-face in retail. It happens all the time. Kelp you, and we talked about kelp you for years and I think it's important that we bring it back in now. It is the oddest thing to walk into a shop or to ring an organization and for them to introduce themselves and then say can I help you? It's just so bizarre and what it is is it's old-fashioned.

Speaker 2 1:52

It's old-fashioned and it's like not necessary. Of course you can help them Exactly. I mean, it's like when you're in a clothes shop and they say you're all right there. Yeah, I think I'm fine.

Speaker 1 2:07

You're all right. When I scotland. Uh, someone said to me are you doing all right there? Am I doing all right here? Odd thing to say. Now, let's go deal with another one of these things. How are you today? How are you today? Do we really care how the person is today? Well, yes, I want them to be alive. I want them to be alive, I want them to be in a relatively positive state and I want them to be interested in my products. Now, if they're not a regular customer, if they are complete strangers, it's very odd to ask somebody how they are today. Some people think it's very polite, but we don't know that person well enough to be able to respond appropriately to the truthful answer to that question.

Speaker 2 2:45

And certainly not at the very outset of the conversation. No, we don't know each other. Yeah, if you wanted to develop rapport later on, when you've got into the conversation a bit more, maybe.

Speaker 1 2:57

Well, I always say if it's a regular customer that you've spoken to before, of course you'd say how are you? But if it's a complete stranger, how are you today? Fine, how are you, I'm fine, that's it.

Speaker 2 3:08

You just, you're just filling space with guff I mean if I was to say to bob in response well, actually I've got a headache not feeling great. Where do you go with that?

Speaker 1 3:19

exactly. You've got nowhere to go, and this is what's so funny about it. And some people say, well, I like to ask people how they are because it builds rapport. Now you can build rapport around the reason they've called. Build rapport around the products and services that you're selling. Build rapport around other things related to the phone call, not about your personal feelings as to who you are. Now I'll tell you when you can ask somebody how they are. How many times on a call do you get? Oh, my system's a bit slow. Can you just bear with me a minute, can you just bear with me? And there's that long silence. Well, when there's long silences, you may as well fill it with something.

The History of "Can I Help You?"

Speaker 1 4:03

So absolutely how's your day going so far, while I'm waiting for this thing to load up? Oh good, why not? That's the perfect time to do it, not at the very beginning of the call, because if you say how are you today, whether it's face to face or on the phone, you are announcing that you are a salesperson who is actually more interested in selling them something than you are in how that person actually is. I'm afraid and I'd run a mile Exactly You're announcing yourself as a salesperson. Now we've argued the toss with so many salespeople about this. How are you today is not the best way to start a conversation. That's all we're saying. Use it later. Use it when you've known them, seen them, spoke to them a couple of times. Don't use it first off. Now back to the the kelp you scenario. Can I help you? So let's go back to the 1850s.

Speaker 1 5:02

1850s, and you weren't born then no, neither were you no, I know now the in the 1850s stores shops had everything. So in my little town there would have been a big store right in the centre where you could have got everything from food to furs to furniture, all sorts of things in that huge shop.

Speaker 2 5:29

Yeah, one-stop shop.

Speaker 1 5:30

The customer walks in, of course it would be appropriate to say good morning, madam, can I help you?

Speaker 2 5:37

And you would say oh, yes, please, I, I help you and you would say oh yes, please, I'm looking for some new gloves.

Alternative Opening Strategies

Speaker 1 5:42

New gloves. I've got some lovely leather gloves over here and off we go into the sale. That's it, because I sell so many things. That's where Can I Help you comes from Now. Let's imagine that I sell holidays. Ringy ring, ringy ring, hello, you're through to Bob's Holidays. Can I help you? Yes, I'd like to book a holiday. She wants to book a holiday. She's phoned a holiday company. She hasn't phoned a sock company. She hasn't phoned a furniture company. She hasn't phoned an IT company. She's phoned a holiday company. Can I help you? It's an odd, odd question. It must go. Just stop doing it. Now people say, well, what do we say instead? So let's give you some examples. So let's try this one again. So it's the holiday company. Again, ringy ring, ringy ring, hello, you threw to Bob's holidays. Are you looking for something long haul or short haul? Short haul, actually.

Speaker 2 6:41

Where were you you thinking of going? I was thinking about a quick trip to vienna vienna.

Speaker 1 6:44

That sounds lovely. And now we're off into the conversation. Are you looking for long haul or short haul? It's what we call an alternative opening. Now she could have said anything else, it doesn't matter. It's just a more interesting opening than kelp you. Now let's take it to a retail. It's just a more interesting opening than Kelpview. Now let's take it to a retail situation. Let's imagine that Anne's in a travel agent's and she's looking at the offers. You know they have these cards with the different offers on. Okay, and I'm going to approach her. Good morning, are you looking for some inspiration?

Speaker 2 7:19

Actually, yes, yes, I am. I've seen you've got lots of offers here Great. Have you booked with us before? No, I haven't.

Speaker 1 7:27

Well, thanks for giving us a try. Where are you thinking of on the offer board here?

Speaker 2 7:31

Well, I'm not really sure, to be honest.

Speaker 1 7:33

Off we go into a conversation. Now we're giving you two there. So, first of all, are you looking for some inspiration? You'd have to be a pretty boring person to go. No, I don't want inspiration, I want to be uninspired. Now you could use that in any retail situation. People are looking at products. They look a bit unsure. Are you looking for some inspiration? Yeah, I'm going to a party, I need a top. Or yeah, I'm buying some paint for my kitchen, or you know anything like that where there's a selection of products. Are you looking for some inspiration is a perfectly good question. Now, the other one I used there was have you booked with us before? So that's a really good one. So, have you booked with us before? She said no, I haven't. So I said thanks for giving us a try.

Speaker 2 8:18

If I'd said that yes, I have yeah well, thanks for coming back to us.

B2B Opening Techniques

Speaker 1 8:24

Where are you thinking of going this time? Now that question have you bought from us before, or some variations on that theme is so useful Because, yes or no, you thank the person for either coming back to you or thank them for giving you that first try. That early thank you is thanking them for the purchase they're about to make. It's a really clever tacit close that you're using early doors, so that's really useful. Other things you can say Some of the basics, and I know I shouldn't have to say this Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, that kind of works. That's kind of polite. And people say, oh, people don't talk like that these days. Yes, they do. Yes, morning, afternoon, evening, polite. And people say, oh, people don't talk like that these days. Yes, they do. Yes, morning, afternoon, evening. Using people's names is quite important, not too much, but using them early doors, introducing yourself.

Speaker 1 9:15

Now I'm not going to deal with agendas in this episode. We're going to look at agendas separately, but we're just going to talk about that effective first part of the conversation. It gets the conversation going. You're into the conversation straight off rather than having a bit of playing a game of. Can I help you. How are you today Talking about the weather? Talking about anything that's not to the point? I'm just trying to think of some other examples of organizations we've worked with over the years.

Speaker 2 9:45

The other thing just to say is that, for example, in the contact center people tend to store up those kinds of calls to do a few at once. You might be ringing your insurance company, you might be ringing your mobile phone company you might be ringing, whatever it is. By having a slightly different opening to the conversation, you're already making yourself stand out from the rest. Yeah, already more interesting, just in those first opening words.

Speaker 1 10:14

Well, and I was just thinking of some examples for B2B as well so in B2B if I was ringing up Anne to try and sell her some software, so let's imagine I'm ringing her up, ringy ring, ringy ring.

Speaker 2 10:28

Hello.

Speaker 1 10:29

Hello, is that Anne?

Speaker 2 10:30

Yes, speaking.

Speaker 1 10:32

Hi, this is Bob calling from Bob's Software. Here I'm calling you about a new piece of software we have that I think you're going to love. But also I noticed on your website that you've recently won an award. Congratulations for that. How's that affected your business?

Speaker 2 10:50

Oh, thank you. Yeah, it's actually got us a lot of publicity and some new customers.

Speaker 1 10:55

Great Now in B2B. Look on the website, find out what's happened recently and use that as your effective opening who you are, where you're calling from, why you're calling and something that demonstrates your research. I've noticed you've won an award. I've noticed you've launched a new product. I've noticed your company results are really good. I've noticed you've appointed a new sales director. Anything that's new and current for that organization is a really good opening because it demonstrates you've bothered to do some research in advance.

Speaker 2 11:30

Yes.

Speaker 1 11:31

So that's a good one for B2B. Now the other thing about business to business is at the beginning of that conversation. Let's come on to this point that I want to know, as a business, what's in it for me to have this conversation If you don't know why I should buy your broadband, if you don't know why I should buy your software. If you don't know why I should buy your software, if you don't know why I should buy your car leasing services, if you don't know why I should buy your IT. If you don't know what I do as a business, you're not going to get it. You're not going to get the business because you're not taking enough interest in me.

Speaker 2 12:00

Yep, you're announcing yourself as a salesperson and then, having done, no research at all. You're expecting me to buy from you.

Final Thoughts on Effective Openings

Speaker 1 12:07

Outrageous, outrageous. So our lesson for this podcast is really simple have a think about the start of that conversation. Don't fall back on hackneyed, old-fashioned openings. Create new ones, alternatives, questions. Get people thinking before they come into the conversation. The great example that we used to do years ago we used to do a sketch which we can't do anymore, which was a hairdresser, and the opening for the hairdresser was hello there, madam, are you looking for something practical or exciting?

Speaker 2 12:44

Oh, exciting please.

Speaker 1 12:47

Oh well, I think we can bring it in the back and off you go. You see, now that's another alternative opening, practical or exciting, standard or adventurous, okay or advanced. You know you can play around with alternative openings all the time and you're leading the person towards the better option.

Speaker 2 13:04

Absolutely, and the other thing I would say is just switch it up regularly so that you don't get too used to saying the same thing, because as soon as it sounds like you say it, all the time, that will come across to the customer as well.

Speaker 1 13:17

Absolutely. We don't want to sound like robots. So, ladies and gents, please practice your effective openings. I'd like to thank my new co-host on this episode, anne Harris from Reality Training. We'll be hearing more of her in episodes down the line, I know, and we'll see you on another episode soon. Thanks a lot.

Speaker 2 13:39

Thanks for listening. Thank you.