15. Being a Hot Girl Is a Full-Time Job… So Why Am I Judged for Making It One?

Being a Hot Girl Is a Full-Time Job… So Why Am I Judged for Making It One?

In this episode of 'Becoming Sunshine,' the host discusses the societal double standards women face, particularly in the adult entertainment industry. 

She tackles misconceptions about the ease of making money through platforms like OnlyFans and other image-based jobs, highlighting the extensive time, money, and effort required to maintain appearances. 

The conversation includes personal anecdotes and emphasizes the importance of self-investment for women to create more opportunities. 

The episode aims to educate both men and women on the complexities behind monetizing one's looks and the predatory nature of the industry, while encouraging support and self-care.

00:00 Introduction to Becoming Sunshine

00:26 Recording from the Couch: I'm Tired

01:17 The Reality of Being a Hot Girl

02:13 Challenges in the Adult Entertainment Industry

07:33 The True Cost of Beauty Maintenance

09:38 Investing in Yourself: Health and Beauty

18:38 Addressing Insecurities and Self-Improvement

23:38 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

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Transcript

Madeline: 0:00

Welcome to Becoming Sunshine. For those of you that know me, you know that Sunshine has been an alias of mine for almost a decade now, and sunshine also is me becoming my highest self, and that's what this podcast is about. I'm here to help you understand yourself better and maybe learn some more about myself along the way. Thanks so much for joining me. I'm excited.

0:27

Hey friends, welcome back to Becoming Sunshine. So I'm recording from my living room couch today because I just literally couldn't be bothered. I'm so tired, and honestly, this episode's very fitting that I'm recording it right after I get back from my laser appointment. So I'm recording this episode today because i'm tired of the societal double standards, and I wanna give licensing to any women that want to invest in themselves and not feel shame about it. And also I wanna educate men on the reality of what it takes to actually be a hot girl. Being a hot girl is a full-time job and then when women wanna monetize it, men wanna have a problem with it, and they wanna judge women? Crazy. So this past weekend I went to a creator event for content creators, like all different types of content creators. And I was having a conversation with one of the guys that threw the event, and then a random guy just inserted himself into the conversation. I don't even really know how we got on this topic. We were just talking about creators in general, like all types of creators, not necessarily OF creators. But then the guy that like inserted himself into the conversation was like, I don't understand why girls would even want to become OnlyFans creators or do OF, what's their desire to do that? And luckily I didn't have to interject. The guy I was talking to did, and he's just kinda looked at him like money? Obviously? What? What do you mean? And the guy just proceeds to go yeah, I just feel like it's really low hanging fruit. Like, First of all sir, it's not easy being an OF creator, I wanna just like squash that narrative right now. Oh, it's so easy. It's such a cop out to do OnlyFans or make money by showing your body first of all, there's nothing easy about sex work. And when I say sex work, I mean anyone under the adult entertainment umbrella, whether that's OnlyFans, whether that's being a dancer, whether that's doing whatever. There's nothing easy about it. It's not a cop out and also there's millions of creators on OnlyFans. There's billions of subscribers, billions of men subscribe, but there's millions of creators on OnlyFans, and only 1% of those creators actually make enough money to live off of, and actually realistically, it's more the 1% of the 1%. It's more the 0.1% of OnlyFans creators actually make enough money to live on. If guys think it's just that easy just to be hot, first of all, it's not easy to be hot. It takes a lot of work, it takes a lot of maintenance, takes a lot of money, and then to just be hot and just take pictures and videos and post it online and make millions of dollars. Like I wish it was that easy. If it was, we probably would all be doing it. There would be no stigma. The only reason why there's a stigma and why men and women have problems with only fans creators or women that make money by monetizing and leveraging their looks is because those people can't do the same thing. And so instead of shaming these girls who are already spending so much time and money investing in themselves to look a certain way, why don't we just encourage everyone to invest in themselves and do better? I've been doing OnlyFans now for a year, year and a year and a half, and it's actually a lot harder than some people think. Like girls are like oh, I'm about to just quit my job and do OnlyFans. Like good luck. Good luck. I don't wanna discourage anyone, but it's just not that easy. Like girls are like oh, I'll just be a dancer. I'll just do OnlyFans really not that easy. It takes a lot of work and you have to be dedicated, like any job and put in the work. You have to make the content, but aside from that, you have to find people that are gonna buy the content, and obviously there's a lot of different platforms that do that. There's social media, there's OFTV, there's Reddit, there's all these different websites and ways, but it's like you have to make the content and put in the time to promote yourself too. Most girls have full teams that help them and work for them, and they also take a pretty decent cut of their money. And also too, the industry is super predatory. The adult entertainment industry is super predatory, obviously. Like whether that's, doing porn or doing OnlyFans or working in a nightclub, working in a strip club, like it's definitely not all sunshine and rainbows. And honestly, it frustrates me when girls glamorize these industries because yeah, it can create a lot of opportunities and obviously there's some pros to leveraging the way that you look. You're already spending so much time and money investing in yourself, you might as well use that to make money or leverage that to make money. But there's definitely some dark themes that go on that nobody wants to discuss. The cartel is real, pimps are real. They hang out at these establishments. Girls are sex trafficked. That's real. Predatory managers, greedy managers, predatory practices like women are exploited for sure. With OnlyFans, I think that's a safer option for sure. And there's way more opportunity with that'cause in a nightclub you can only leverage so much of your time, but with OF you can leverage a lot more of your time. In an hour at the club you can entertain one person, in an hour online you can entertain thousands. Tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, and also too, there's degrees of separation. You're not physically in front of someone. The amount of energy it takes, like energetically, like spiritually and emotionally and stuff is different. Also too, they have teams that help you market yourself and help you promote and all these things. So you have a lot more support. But at the same time, there's a lot of really predatory agencies. A lot of agencies will waste your time. They won't hold up their end of the deal. They won't actually do what they say they're gonna do. Sometimes they'll just take you on to promote their other girls through your page and then drop you, or they'll get you into a contract and then not hold up their end and then try to sue you when you leave. Yeah, it's definitely not as easy as one would think. Again, I'm not saying this to discourage anyone. I just think that there needs to be more education on both sides for men and women. But either way, investing in yourself as a woman is definitely the key to more opportunities and more success. The true cost of being a hot girl or that girl is a lot more than people realize. Yeah, guys don't want a girl that does OnlyFans, but they want a girl that looks like she does. let's just talk about the maintenance that it takes. So let's just break down the cost, and the time that it takes to be a hot girl. It is literally a full-time job in and of itself. Guys just like go to work and then when they're done with work, like they can do whatever they want. They don't have a whole other full-time beauty regimen and like maintenance schedule. It's actually crazy. But yeah if you think about hair, you gotta have nice hair, like color, extensions, blowouts, all the products that we use, nails, lashes, brows, like you can either pay someone to do it or you can do it yourself. Either way, it takes education or time or money. Facials, aesthetic treatments, Botox, filler, microneedling, laser. Like all these things. That Pilates membership, not cheap. Gym membership, not cheap. Wellness routines, supplements, nutrition, eating healthy foods, like whether you're eating healthy, meal prepping. It takes time, costs money, hot girls don't just eat whatever, it takes strategy, it takes time, takes resources. Also the cute little workout sets. Like what? Looking cute while you're doing these workouts. All this stuff is so time consuming and it all costs money and hours out of your week. This week alone, it's only Wednesday and I had two laser appointments, a hair appointment. I have a lash appointment tomorrow. I think I had a brow appointment, but I rescheduled it. I can't even keep it straight half the time because there's so much to keep up with. And then I have Pilates tomorrow I have to go to the gym. Like what? I have to hydrate. Ridiculous. And this isn't about vanity and it's not even about attention or the male gaze. even if it's not part of your job, like you don't work in an image-based industry, like you're not in nightlife, you're not in sales, you're not in the service industry it still is beneficial investing in yourself because looking good gives women more opportunities, and we're able to get better jobs. We're able to get better treatment in public. We get more visibility online. Statistically, even in traditional jobs Women are higher paid if they look better. It opens doors to brand deals, influencing partnerships, increases your dating pool. You have access to more high quality men because again, men are visual and yeah, women want guys that are successful. But guys that are successful want women that are beautiful, and well maintained and well taken care of. Being attractive is currency in this world, especially for women, and it's one of the few currencies that women are able to capitalize on, and then we're shamed for it. And it's just crazy. I had an ex, so stupid, but he would just be like, oh yeah, I don't know what it is, I wanna like a good girl, like a church girl or a corporate girl or whatever. He's like, I just like bottle girls. I like girls in the industry, and it's like, yeah, you like these girls because they're well maintained. Guys wanna talk shit about girls that are not natural or like whatever, but it's like those are the girls you're following on social media. Those are the girls that you're wanting to date. Those are the girls that are getting attention. Those are the girls that you're looking at. I don't really wear a lot of makeup to begin with, but it's because I invest in skincare. I have gotten surgeries, I've gotten procedures done. Like I say, that I am high maintenance in order to be low maintenance. I'm not gonna spend two hours doing my makeup or contouring my face or whatever, and it's because I'd rather pay the money and do the maintenance so that I don't have to. That I can do the bare minimum, that I can wake up and my brows are already done. My lashes are already done, like my skin looks pretty good. I'm high maintenance, so I can be low maintenance, but the maintenance takes time and it takes money. So it's just like, why should we shame women for turning their look into income? It's already a full-time job. It takes so much time and so much of my resources. Even if I didn't do it for work, why would I not? If you wanna get ahead in the world and you wanna have opportunities, you have to invest in yourself and instead of shaming women, invest in yourself. I had a friend, we're not friends anymore, but she used to be so judgemental about other girls that had work done. And obviously it was'cause she was deeply insecure and being my friend, I helped her start to like do things for herself aesthetically.'cause I knew it would change her life and she would have more opportunities. And now she's done a complete 180 and she's all about all these like, aesthetic things and is talking about getting a facelift and all these things she's like the expert on it now, and I'm just like bro, literally two years ago, you're trying to judge girls for getting work done or for whatever, X, Y, Z and it's just like other hot girls aren't hating. They don't hate on each other. We're here to uplift the baddies and create more opportunities for each other. Quit hating and just invest in yourself. If you want a better life. If you wanna have more opportunities, take better care of yourself, and I'm not saying you have to go get a procedure done, but put down the fast food, you don't need that bag of chips. I understand that eating healthy is expensive and not everyone has the resources, but there's ways to eat healthy that aren't super expensive and that are a little bit more accessible. Just eat whole foods. Eat real food. You won't be as hungry if you're eating real food. If you're eating all this processed stuff, yeah, you're gonna overeat because you're not getting the nutrients. Prioritize protein, make sure you're hydrated. Hydration isn't just about water, it's also about electrolytes. I never realized how much I would think about magnesium and how bioavailable the magnesium I'm taking is, but at this old age, if you wanna have a flatter stomach, if you wanna have better digestion, if you wanna have better skin, magnesium, hydration, eat healthy, eat clean, real food, prioritize protein because you're gonna be hungry until you hit your protein goal for the day. So if you're prioritizing protein, especially first thing in the morning. You are gonna feel a lot more satiated and you're not gonna eat as much and snack as much during the day. Sex work, doing OnlyFans, bottle service, dancing, it's all labor. It's all hard work, monetizing the way that you look shouldn't be taboo. It should just be common sense. Like of course, why would I not monetize something that I'm spending so much time and money investing in? That's crazy. That's silly. It's already a full-time job. Like why do I need to have another one? Like why can't it also be the job? Plus also then too, I can write off some of this shit. Men benefit from hot girls existence. They follow them, like their posts, fantasize about them, but they still wanna judge how they fund the glow up. It's just crazy that people wanna dismiss women for being hot girls, or like devalue them somehow, and it's just like no, most brands and men would be irrelevant if hot girls didn't think that they were relevant. Brands wouldn't even exist if hot girls didn't validate them. Same with men, like their status only matters because hot girls give them status and value them. Be serious. I'm just tired of guys being judgemental about OnlyFans or dancing or whatever and it's like you don't wanna date an OnlyFans girl, but you want her body, her lifestyle, her look. Where do you think that came from? And it's just like all of this takes time and money to maintain. So if she's not maintaining it herself, somebody else is babe, let's not be delusional. We wanna say that girls are so delulu, like guys are actually the delusional ones. You're above dating a dancer, you're above dating an OnlyFans girl, and you're entertaining and chasing this girl who is being maintained and taken care of by another man, and you just don't know. I just think that it's very rare and unrealistic that a girl has a normal corporate job, like a normal nine to five, and she is maintained at the same level of a girl in the service industry or a girl doing OnlyFans or bottle service or dancing, and if she is you think she's doing that on her own with the income from her nine to five? Interesting. Okay babe, think about that one. Really? Many of the girls that guys date are being financially supported. They're just not telling you. I've had guys that have gotten mad at me in the past because of what I do or whatever they don't like it, and it's just like I'm actually being honest about it. These other girls are doing the exact same thing. Most of them worse. You just don't know. You're just unaware. It's like, if you don't know about it, it's okay, I don't know. I guess that makes sense. Weird. Natural girls, like I said, often have subtle work, expensive skincare routines, Pilates memberships, you just don't know because it's good. I'm not wearing any makeup right now. I don't wear a lot of makeup, and it's'cause I don't have to, because I've spent so much time and money investing in myself. I try to work out five times a week. I try to get my steps in. I try to drink my water. I take my supplements. I do a lot. The girls that are like naturally beautiful over the age of like 22. Yeah the nature, it's a lot of hard work and it's a lot of time And it's just like men want a well-maintained woman, they can say that they don't, but they do. They do, like the girl that you know, doesn't have her nails done or her hair done, or her skincare or she hasn't had any like aesthetic work done, that girl's not gonna get the same opportunities as a girl that has made more investments in herself and whether she's paying for that herself or someone else is, that's just the way the world is these days, and you have to invest in yourself and maintain yourself in order to have these opportunities, Unfortunately. There's girls that are insecure, like I have a guy friend who's dating this girl and he was telling me how he was going to the lake with her and they were like getting on a boat and there was like 10 other girls on the boat, and when she realized that there was gonna be other girls on the boat, she was like I don't wanna go, I'm not going and she literally left the dock and went home. This girl is so insecure she doesn't even wanna be around other women, and it's just like, that's a you problem babe. That's not a him problem, and that's not those other girls' problems. Like she was upset'cause I guess some of the other girls on the boat had their boobs done or they'd had aesthetic procedures done, and it's just instead of hating. Like, why don't we just invest in ourselves and glow up? And I'm not saying anyone has to get surgery or anything, but just take care of yourself and look the best that you can. Be the healthiest that you can. Is your hair the healthiest it can be? Is your skin the healthiest it can be? Are your teeth the healthiest they can be? You don't have to have fake boobs or like a fake butt to look the best that you can. For some girls, enhancing these things can help you, but you don't necessarily have to. There's some girls that are beautiful and they have natural bodies, and then there's other girls that are beautiful that have enhanced bodies. It's just you have to do what looks best for you and what's best for you. And if you're insecure about something, do something about it, babe. Don't hate on other girls or project onto other girls, or make other people feel bad, just do something about it. That goes for anything, not even just your looks, just in general. If you're sad or upset and you're cocooning or spiraling or whatever, think about what's gonna make you feel better. Is sitting at home and eating ice cream gonna make you feel better? And maybe for like a day or two, but then get back into your routine, go to the gym, start meal prepping, start getting a better skincare routine. Honestly, this could be an episode in itself. One of the best ways to get out of a funk, just when you're too busy to be in a funk, like you're too busy prioritizing yourself and getting your life together like you're not depressed about that guy, you're not depressed about that situation, you're not depressed about that friendship, like you're too busy. You're too busy to think about that. You're too busy working on yourself, glowing up inside and out. This isn't just about the physical, it's about the confidence that you feel, the opportunities you create for yourself, the network that you build. It's just about having a better life and making a better life for yourself. I am speaking from experience, obviously I've spent a lot of time and money investing in myself, but I also was really sick for a long time and I wasn't at the weight that I wanted to be at, my skin didn't look the way that I wanted. My hair didn't look the way that I wanted. I have had to work extra hard because of my Hashimoto's. It's literally a disease that like makes you uglier. My hair was falling out. I had psoriasis on my skin, dermatitis on my head. I was like 30 pounds overweight. I was super inflamed. I had cortisol face. My face used to be so puffy and swollen, and so I've learned about all these aesthetic things, one because I wanted to feel better about myself. And then through that process I learned it's not about the beauty treatments, it's about your health underneath. Because when I was like 24, I did everything. I spent so much money, so much time trying to look better and feel better, but there's no amount of time and money that you can put into something if you're not gonna address your health first and the underlying issues. it didn't matter how much Botox or filler or extensions or anything that I did, I didn't look my best because I was unhealthy. Like I just looked puffy, I looked overdone. I looked, not my best. I look the best I ever have, and it's because I'm healthy now. I'm taking control of my health. So I would start there honestly, for anyone who is on this self-care glow-up journey, address your health first. How's your gut? How is your mental health? Those are oftentimes related too. If you are having issues with your gut, you're gonna have mental health issues. Recently when I was having issues with my gut, I felt super low and sad, and then once I got that straightened out, it's like this dark cloud was lifted. Your skin looks better, your hair looks better, you have more energy. And when you have more energy, you can exercise. It all goes back to health, and so prioritizing that is key, and that's really the secret to being beautiful and having opportunities and glowing, being healthy. All men, pretty much wanna have a well-maintained woman. If you're not providing for her and maintaining her appearance, you're not allowed to have an opinion on it, period. Men want the outcome, but they don't want the process. They don't wanna know about the process. They don't wanna be involved in the process. They just wanna have opinions on it. No. This is your permission slip to invest in yourself. Investing in your appearance isn't shallow, it's strategic. Don't let anyone shame you for monetizing the results of your hard work, and whether you're funding your glow up solo or you have support, be proud of the time and effort you put into showing up for yourself because you're creating a better life for yourself by investing in yourself, and don't ever let anyone tell you different. It's not just about how you look, it's about the doors that it opens and the confidence that it builds, being able to go to the pool in a swimsuit and feeling good about yourself and not being insecure about your body. No better feeling. Being able to go to the pool and not being insecure about razor burn or whatever because you got laser hair removal, or your tan looks amazing, or your hair looks amazing. No better feeling. So I just wanna say to all of you beautiful women. be the prize and it's okay to look like the prize, and it's okay to get paid like the prize. Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad or ashamed about that. It's your life. You're the main character. You should look, feel and be compensated as the main character. And honestly, I think it would be super educational for men if women dropped some of their beauty expenses in the comments. So guys can just see how much it actually costs to be a beautiful woman. They wanna complain about having to pay for sections or bottle service or dinners or trips, and it's just like I showed up like this. Tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars that I am embodying. like when guys are like, what do you bring to the table? What do you mean this, like this investment? Be serious. So men, why don't you ask yourself, I know there's a few of you that watch my content. Are you part of the problem or are you smart enough to realize that it's an investment that deserves respect. it's something that's pretty much demanded of women in today's day and age, and so if you're hating on them For monetizing or leveraging what is literally demanded of them. That's crazy. That's so silly. So yeah, I hope this episode was helpful, educational. Um Hopefully, guys will just stop being naive to so many things, and maybe just have a little bit more compassion for women and what it takes. So funny when guys are like, oh my God, it must be so easy being a hot girl. Oh my God, if I was a hot girl life would be so much easier. I'm not really sure what about being a hot girl is easy'cause it actually takes so much time, energy, and resources. Yeah, I don't think most of these guys have what it takes. Honestly, like I said, in order to win at life as a woman, you literally have to work three times harder and be three times smarter. Like this world was made for y'all and you're gonna hate on us for figuring it out. Like I can't. Anyways, if you like this episode, please comment, subscribe. I wanna hear what you guys think, and send it to your friends. Send it to your male friends. I'll talk to you guys next time. Bye. Love you.