Why Saying ‘Good Boy’ Over ‘Yes Daddy’ Wins Every Time

Why Saying 'Good Boy' Over 'Yes Daddy' Wins Every Time

The praise men crave, the power women hold, and why soft dominance always wins.

This one’s for the girls who are done being agreeable. In this episode, we’re breaking down the power of praise, male psychology, and why saying “good boy” hits way harder than “yes daddy.” From dominance and desire to gifts, boundaries, and emotional bonding — I’m giving you the game on how to hold your standard and your power. Spoiler: men don’t want a yes girl. They want a muse.

00:26 Good Boy vs. Yes Daddy: Understanding Male Psychology

02:24 The Importance of Boundaries and Validation

06:55 Men's Investment and Emotional Attachment

09:17 Implementing Boundaries and Standards

15:39 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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Transcript

Madeline: 0:00

Welcome to Becoming Sunshine. For those of you that know me, you know that Sunshine has been an alias of mine for almost a decade now, and sunshine also is me becoming my highest self, and that's what this podcast is about. I'm here to help you understand yourself better and maybe learn some more about myself along the way. Thanks so much for joining me. I'm excited.

0:27

Hey friends, welcome back to Becoming Sunshine. So today we're talking about how saying good boy will get you a lot further and you'll be a lot more successful than you ever will saying yes daddy. This isn't just about kink talk, it's about real relationship dynamics, polarity and attraction. The idea behind good boy versus yes daddy, reflects everyday dynamics in dating, status and male behavior. Everything men do is pretty much to impress women, to gain the favor of women or to get the attention of women. Men are driven by the desire to impress women. Cars, muscles, money, it's all performance. Everything men do is to get our attention. And everything we do is like just for ourselves and for our own happiness. For example, going out women go out to have fun and get dressed up and dance with their friends and take cute pictures. Guys go out to flirt with women and find women and hit on women. Men are praise starved, and status driven. Men are a lot more insecure than we would think. They're actually way more insecure than women. They crave validation and they want to feel capable, successful, and chosen. Women are valued for who they are, their essence. That's what female energy is. Men are valued and men value themselves for what they do, so if you're in relationship with a guy, just like loving them for who they are and appreciating them for who they are, that's not gonna do it for them. That's the way women are, and if you're dating another woman, that makes sense. But men need to feel seen and appreciated for what they do, for what they achieve and for their success. That's how they value themselves, and so that's what they need praise on. So the Good Boy theory speaks to their inner child and their unspoken need for emotional affirmation. It speaks to men's psychology. Men want what other men want and can't have. That's what gives them their status. If something comes easy and everyone can have it, every man can have it, then it loses its value. Boundaries create desire. Men want to overcome a challenge. It gives them purpose, and it makes the rewards sweeter. If they need to prove themselves to you or to gain your favor or impress you or make you happy, they had to work for it. You become more desirable to them. When women are always easy access and always say yes, yes daddy, their value drops. The value of being desired but not easily owned. If anyone can have it, it loses its worth. That's basic male psychology, and it's about being the mysterious respected muse energy versus the yes girl. think about it, luxury brands, exclusive clubs, there's barriers to entry. Think of like Hermes bags or really exclusive members clubs or nightclubs or VIP sections. If anyone could just have it or be a part of it, it would lose its value. It would lose its status. That's why when you go to luxury stores, you're treated a certain way, you're treated like you're less than or you have to prove yourself. I had an ex and he went to go buy a lambo, and this is like kind of a funny story, but it's relevant because it's all about local star power and framing and the male ego and how it works. So he had an appointment, right? To go test drive this Lambo, and he showed up for the appointment and the door to the dealership was locked. And I was like bro, this sales associate was running game on you from the jump. I mean, he didn't really care, but I'm just like, bro he was making you feel less than, like you had to prove yourself. He showed up, the door's locked. It's a metaphor. It's like you're literally locked out. I hold the key, the sales guy holds the key and has to let you in. So then, you know, he's already kind of taken back, the door's locked and this is a man that's not used to having to wait for anything, or nothing's locked to him. He's not locked out anything. This multimillionaire is feeling like he needs to prove himself to this sales associate, who's a nobody, you know what I mean? But again, it's all about perception and the male ego and male psychology. And so, yeah, he's at his Lambo appointment and he's like, okay, I wanna test drive the car. And the guy's like, mm I don't know about that. we don't really just let anyone test drive the cars unless they're really serious about buying them, are you really serious about buying'em? And of course, you know, my ex is like what do you mean? You know, Again, he has to prove himself to this guy and he's just like, oh my God yeah, How are you gonna tell me no? I feel like when you tell guys no, or you make them work for it, they want it that much more. And I think we can all figure out what happened. He ended up buying the Lambo, you know, and this sales associate gets a huge commission and it's just like from the jump, he had it set up. There were barriers and boundaries and he was made to prove himself and that just made him want it even more. If he had just showed up and easily got into the appointment, could have driven it. There wasn't any barrier or boundary. If he didn't feel like he needed to prove himself, he might not have bought it that day. He might have been like, mm, I'll think about it. It's like, whatever, but because the sales associate set it up, like he had to prove himself and like he wasn't good enough or he wasn't worthy or X, Y, Z, he wanted it that much more. I feel like that happens all the time with men. You tell them no, or you're like, Hmm, I don't know about you. They feel like they have to prove themselves that much more. So I think those two things really go hand in hand. Making them work for something and then when they do achieve it, or they do make you happy, you commend them on it, you know, like good boy. You make them feel good about it. Like they achieved something, men are simple, honestly. And I don't mean that in a degrading or disrespectful way. It's just like, this is just the way that men are, this is the way they're designed. Women are also a reflection of men and men's status. The partner that a man is with communicates his value to the world. That's why they wanna shower their girl with gifts or they wanna get her the biggest diamond, or they wanna make sure she's wearing the nicest clothes or the best jewelry. Showering a woman with gifts is not necessarily about the woman. And I wish I would've figured this out a lot sooner. Because for me personally, I like nice things, but I'm not super materialistic. Like I don't really care about that stuff. I like it, but it's not super important. I can't tell you how many times I've dated guys. They're like, oh, let's go shopping, let's do this, and I was just like, oh, no I'm good. I don't need it. Like, no? No, it's not about you. Let them take you shopping. Every women's love language should be gifts and not because it's for you, it's for men. Because men invest in women emotionally when they financially invest in them, when they spend money on them, when they're investing their resources in them, so when you reject those advances or you reject their generosity or you don't let them invest in you, then they're not investing in you emotionally. Men are less likely to leave a situation or leave their woman or whatever. If they've invested in the relationship, especially financially and they have more to lose. If they are not investing in you financially, if they're not taking care of you, if they're not buying you gifts, if they are not investing their resources, they're not investing their heart, that's just the way men are. And this is why women should allow themselves to be courted, invested in and chosen. Think of it as this man investing his heart and his emotions. It's just in a tangible way. Men and women are different. Women don't need to invest money and stuff into a man or into a relationship to be emotionally invested, but men do. Letting men invest in you isn't about being materialistic. It's how they bond. When men spend time, money and energy, they get emotionally attached. It's just male psychology. So stop saying no to being spoiled. You're not being greedy. You're letting him invest in you. Tying all this back to how Dom sub dynamics mirror real relationships. I feel like most relationships, I would say at least 70, probably 80% of relationships are actually fem dom relationships. They just don't wanna be called that because the woman is actually the one that holds the rope in the relationship. She's the one that's dominating in the relationship. Men are still in a power position because they're investing in the relationship, but they're doing so in order to get the validation and the appreciation and the respect of the woman. And it makes a lot of sense. It's not saying that they're the beta ones in the relationship. It actually is very common, especially when guys are very successful. They have their own company, they're entrepreneurs, they're investors. They have a lot of people that answer to them. They have a lot of people that they're responsible for. They have a lot of stress in their job when they're at home they don't wanna be super dominant all the time, and they also just want to be told that they're doing a good job and that they're a good boy and that they're appreciated and valued. From working in the industry that I worked in, I've noticed that like 90% of the time, guys come into the club just because they want to be appreciated, respected, valued. They want someone they can be vulnerable with because maybe they can't be vulnerable with their buddies or you know, maybe with their wife or whatever. They have to be this strong front, but then that leaves someone else that they need that validation from, and so that's why they end up going to the club. Just something to think about, if you're in a relationship and you're not telling your man that you appreciate him or that you value him, or that he's doing a good job, he's gonna need someone else to tell him that. The dom isn't powerful because they control the sub. They're powerful because the sub chooses to surrender to someone they respect, and that choice has to be earned. So it goes both ways. One isn't more powerful than the other. I think that's a very common misconception. There's nothing weak about wanting validation or being submissive to your partner. I feel like guys are the providers, but they are providing for a reason, so they can feel validated and important and that's how they value themselves. Power isn't about control, it's about knowing your worth and inspiring others. That's why it's important that women know their role and that they're the inspiration for a relationship. In relationships past, I've always felt like I had to be more of a yes girl or accommodating or you know, there to make sure that he feels valued, but I was doing it the wrong way. Instead of just agreeing or accommodating them, having them accommodate you is actually way more fulfilling for everybody, and that's actually what they want. They want to feel like they have to prove themselves to you. They want to feel like they have to work for something, and on a continuous basis. I'm not saying that you should never be satisfied with what your partner does for you, but there is something to the polarity and the attraction if they're always feeling like they have to keep reaching for you. Like you could walk away at any time. Men like that, they like the chase, they like having to work for something. If you are working hard for something and then you get it, you want the next thing, it loses its value. So it's the same kind of principle. You always want them to be reaching for you and always working to provide and impress and seeking your respect and validation. You don't need to perform dominance when you are the standard. It's not about playing games or like power plays, it's just having boundaries and standards for yourself and not lowering those for anyone or any reason and demanding that standard, and that men or people in general meet that standard. That's how you maintain your value. That's how you maintain attraction. That's how you maintain desire. Language like good boy reflects emotional intelligence and quiet power. I feel like soft power is the real flex and that's the difference between female and male energy. you don't need brute force. Quiet power, being more strategic about things is actually a way better strategy. It just goes back to principles of feminine energy and what makes women attractive to men. If a guy does something that you don't like, instead of being pulled outta character, just pulling back that energy and that attention is gonna get you way further because that's what men want, that's what they are seeking. If they do something that you don't like and you've already like talked to them about it. You already mentioned it, going off about them or crashing out. All they're gonna see is that you love them and that you're giving them attention. Don't give them an emotional reaction when they do something you don't like. Give them an emotional reaction when they do something you do like, like, oh, they bought you jewelry, they did a good job on something they made you happy or whatever, that's when you give them a big emotional reaction to.'cause then they'll keep doing it. Taking away energy is the worst thing that you can do to a man. And men don't learn with words, they learn with consequences. And so the most important thing to men and everything they do is for women's attention and validation and respect. So when you take that away, that's what's gonna get them to change and that's what's gonna have you get what you want. The whole like, good boy yes daddy theory, yeah it does pull from sub dom culture that I think really does reflect a lot of modern day relationships, if you think about it, but it also just speaks to male psychology and male ego and just the way men operate, like male behavior. So hopefully this was helpful and makes sense. At the end of the day, all it really comes down to is that men respect boundaries and they respect women that respect themselves, and that set a standard. Not just men, people in general, scarcity creates value. Boundaries create value. Not giving your energy so easily or just agreeing and being a yes girl is only gonna increase your value and is only gonna increase attraction and desire and even if you haven't had this dynamic in the past, you can change the way you move and operate when it comes to men, and everything will start to change. I've actually started to implement some of these theories with some of my girlfriends and we can see immediately the way that guys respond to us differently. This stuff actually works really, really quickly. Honestly, the way I used to move in relationships was so different. I feel like I always felt like I had to be accommodating, and it probably comes from childhood trauma and people pleasing and stuff, and that that would make me be valued more, not just by men, but by people in general and really that makes you valued less. Saying no, I love saying no now I don't get FOMO ever. Once you start to say no to things that aren't truly aligned or don't light you up or you just don't wanna do, it gets addictive and it feels so good and people only value you more. People value people who value their own time. Especially men. Whenever you're, thinking about how to operate when it comes to men, think about what would your highest self do, or like a female archetype, someone you look up to, how would they move? would they just say yes? Would they be agreeable? If you're always available, agreeable and easy to win over, you're not inspiring a man. You're babysitting his ego. That's not chemistry, that's convenience, and that's a one way to get to being taken for granted. Trust me. People don't value you more when you do more for them. People value you more when you do more for yourself and prioritize yourself. So next time a guy or someone you know does something nice for you, take a page out of men's books and instead of being so gracious and like oh my gosh, they're such a good person, they're so amazing, they did this for me. Think, I'm so amazing. They did this for me. Of course they did this for me. I'm so amazing because I'm valuable and they're working to impress me, cater to me, help me. That's how men think. That's how the male brain is. So when you're dealing with men, especially you have to think how they think. At the end of the day, being the prize isn't about being cold, it's about being clear. Set the standard, be the inspiration, and don't forget to tell him when he earns it. Good boy. I know it's a little bit cheeky and a little bit different. But this is definitely a theory that I've learned recently as I've learned a little bit more about sub dom culture and just men in general. And I've implemented some of these theories and they really do work, and it makes a lot of sense when you think about the psychology behind it. Anyways, thank you guys so much for listening, I will talk to you guys soon. If you like this episode, don't forget to like, share, subscribe, and send it to your friends, especially your girlfriends who maybe have had some issues with boundaries in the past. And I think as a collective, we all need to step it up because we deserve better. Bye friends. Love you