19. You Don’t Need More Time to Heal — You Need New Experiences

You don’t always need more time to heal — sometimes you just need new experiences.

In this episode, I talk about slowing down, reconnecting with my feminine energy, and how the biggest breakthroughs often happen when you stop forcing and start receiving.

I share what I’ve learned over the past month — taking a step back, meeting someone new, and realizing that healing doesn’t always come from isolation. Sometimes it comes from letting life show you a new reality.

If you’ve been feeling burnt out, disconnected, or like you’re constantly in your “go, go, go” era, this episode is your reminder that rest is productive. Alignment, creativity, and love flow naturally when you trust divine timing and allow yourself to soften.

00:26 Personal Growth and Realignment

01:02 Embracing Feminine Energy and Creativity

01:48 New Experiences and Healing

04:06 Shifting Relationships and Inner Circle

07:04 Insights on Men and Relationships

09:05 New Direction and Future Plans

11:42 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Dive deeper into the energy of Becoming Sunshine

Explore my digital guides, journals, and masterclasses designed to help you heal, realign, and step into your highest self. 

[shop the Becoming Sunshine collection on Payhip]

https://payhip.com/BecomingSunshine

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Transcript

Madeline: 0:00

Welcome to Becoming Sunshine. For those of you that know me, you know that Sunshine has been an alias of mine for almost a decade now, and sunshine also is me becoming my highest self, and that's what this podcast is about. I'm here to help you understand yourself better and maybe learn some more about myself along the way. Thanks so much for joining me. I'm excited.

0:27

Hey friends, I haven't recorded an episode in a while. I've really been locking in and trying to realign with myself and my life. It's good to take a step back and reset. In the past month or so, I've realized the direction I wanna take things and what I wanna do next. If I hadn't taken this time, I probably wouldn't have figured these things out. There's new projects I wanna work on and I get the best ideas when i'm well rested. You can't be creative all the time. You need those times to reset. Being in our feminine energy is all about being in flow. We're supposed to be open to receiving. Hustling all the time goes against our nature. It's important to take aligned action and work hard, but it's also important to give yourself rest and trust that things are gonna come to you when they're meant to. That's what manifestation means. That's what it means to be in alignment. Women were put on this earth to create, we create life. Men can't do that. men were designed to work, that's the way their hormones are set up and that's how they value themselves. We're meant to be in our creative pursuits and it's unnatural for us to be go, go, go all the time. If you're crashing out or stressing over something, it's because you're not being creative enough and that creative energy needs to go somewhere. In the last month I've opened myself to new experiences and I pushed myself outside of my comfort zone. I met someone recently, and I hadn't really opened myself up to anyone new in a year and a half like crazy. I just didn't feel ready. And there just wasn't really anyone that I was that interested in. It just takes a lot to turn my head, which I don't think is a bad thing. I think the more time and energy you pour into yourself, the higher your standards are, and you're not just gonna date anybody or talk to anybody, but I also Heard that you don't need more time to heal. You need new experiences to show your nervous system a new reality. And I think that's so true'cause in the past month I feel like I've 10 Xed my healing. Him exposing me to new experiences and showing me a new potential life for myself, was probably way more healing than a lot of the work I've done on my own. I think that was part of the attraction. It wasn't even necessarily to him, it was to this new life that I imagined for myself. I wasn't sure what I needed, or I felt burnt out with my current life. I needed a change of scenery and I'm shifting things in my circle and who I'm spending time with. Having these new experiences and meeting new people, people that are more aligned and come from a similar background as me, and are not only having a bunch of success, but they're actually celebrated for where they've come from. Having that is so refreshing and nice because for so long so much shame has been put on me by other people, by past partners and past relationships. Meeting people that have come from the same industry and that are in industries that I am currently pursuing, as creators is just so expansive and it's done so much for my subconscious and my healing. When you're manifesting a life for yourself, your subconscious has to believe that it's possible for you. Seeing examples of people and meeting people that are doing stuff that I wanna be doing that come from a similar background, that's way more inspiring than you having to believe that it'll happen or not having any examples to pull from. My perspective on a lot has changed and I was feeling bad, that I hadn't been as social, but I think it's normal to become less attentive of a friend when you're focusing on yourself and leveling up. I'm not gonna be as available for everyone. I'm not gonna have the time to get together all the time or talk all the time. That's why your significant other becomes so important because you don't have time for your friends like you used to when you're building a brand or a business. the people that become the most important are the people in your inner circle. When it comes down to it, it ends up just being you and your partner and maybe the family you build together. I used to have really big group of friends and I feel like now it's not really like that, but I feel like things are more aligned than they used to be. I have more clarity around the direction that I wanna take my life and my brand and it's all for this greater purpose. Friendships falling off, relationships falling off, it's a good thing. Honestly, it's definitely hard. But again, I think realizing these things, it's just a part of life and a part of leveling up. Taking these pauses is also a really good time to reframe things. I feel like I'm a master at reframing things, honestly, even if I'm upset about something for a day or two, I'm really good at finding the silver lining in something, or the greater meaning for something. For example, this guy that I met recently, I don't really know if it's gonna go anywhere. I don't really think so, but for now, he did what he was meant to do for me. In the past month or so, I was able to fully let go of old wounds that my ex left. I was able to open my heart again and be excited about someone. He exposed me to new experiences. He encouraged me to try new things and expanding my network which I love. I have dated people in the past that wanted to keep me small, and it was really refreshing to be with someone that wanted to support and push me to reach for bigger and better for myself. Also the whole time he was telling me I'm beautiful and being so attentive, affectionate and accommodating. Showing me that there are so many new guys that I could meet any day that are gonna have an impact. I just met this person probably six months ago, and it's exciting knowing that you can meet someone any day that's gonna change so much for you. I've been transitioning for the last year and a half with what I wanna do and the more I meet new people and have new experiences the more aligned everything feels and the more clarity I'm getting around where I wanna take my brand. I feel like I've had a lot of validation lately from people, and from watching other creators. Seeing that the knowledge and experiences that I've had, have a lot of merit and value, and the wisdom I have Has not only helped me, but it could help so many more people. Especially other women when it comes to men and dating and relationships. I've spent the last decade studying men, interacting and engaging with men. A lot of people don't have the same kind of access I've had, and I'm really excited to share more of that. In the past I've had people that have hated on me for the way I've chosen to support myself and made me feel like I didn't really have a lot to offer or that my experiences weren't valuable. Being around new people and being expanded by so many people that are using the knowledge they have and packaging it and helping other people, I feel like I could do the same. Also, too, it's a cool clap back if the things people have devalued me for is actually the thing that ends up helping so many people. I have skills that you really can't teach and I have a knowledge base that most people don't have the access to. It's not only gonna help other women in the industry but it could also help women in general because men are men. Love your man, but you need to understand him more than you love him, If you understand your man, you understand what he needs if he's stressed or he's whatever, you know how to take care of him. That's what's gonna keep the relationship healthy and keep you both feeling emotionally safe. I know we've all heard that the man is supposed to love the woman more than she loves him. For the longest time I was so confused by that. I was like, what does that mean? You need to be with a man that loves you because then he is gonna show up and take care of you in a way that makes you feel loved, and when you're feeling loved by him, it's very easy to fall in love. Because even with this guy that I was seeing recently, at first I was indifferent about him. And then I started to spend some time with him and he was so accommodating and so affectionate and was really good at attending to the love languages that I need, and that made me feel loved. And so I developed feelings for him and that's how that works. Starting something new has definitely been interesting. I've seen in real time, how much I've healed and the work that I've done and how I'm handling things differently. lately I've just been letting go and letting things be, I'm trying new things and my life is on a new trajectory because of it. I'm getting more clarity around what I want my brand to look like having faith that things happen in divine timing and that the right people are gonna find me. I had such a different vision for my brand a year ago and such a different vision for my life and everything. Sometimes when things don't happen as quickly as we would like them, it's because we need more time to figure out exactly what's authentic or what we actually wanna do. Things that I wanted to do a year ago, I have such different priorities now and The brand that I'm creating feels more and more authentic. In the beginning it was more of a spiritual, wellness type lean, and now it's catered more to relationships, accepting the person that I am and just being so authentically myself, and not caring how other people perceive me or who doesn't like me fully leaning into that feels so good. The more I lean into that the better the response has been. Redirection is protection. There's so many things that if they had worked out, like relationships, business stuff I wouldn't be where I am now and I wouldn't be on the trajectory that I am now and honestly it's beautiful. It's all part of the journey. I've been fascinated by people and the way people operate and engage with each other, and just understanding people and also understanding myself better. I feel like that knowledge and also like being boy obsessed or whatever it's been frustrating in the past, but going through that and healing those attachments and patterns it's all for a greater purpose and it's led me here now. People that are chronic oversharers, they're the ones that are creators or influencers or podcasters and so it's the stuff that you think is not a good thing about you or it's a flaw or something. You're an overshare or your boy crazy or you're always having relationship drama or whatever. People always come to me for relationship advice, and it's just like, that's the kind of stuff that people relate to me with and stuff people wanna talk about. That's for a reason, it's what I'm meant to do. I have a lot of plans for the podcast and what I wanna talk about on here. New episodes about men and the club and things that I've learned, and of course relationships. I'm really excited for the new direction. And despite all these breaks and these pauses, I feel like sometimes it's necessary in order for you to have clarity around where you wanna go and it ends up being that much better for it. This new direction I'm taking is gonna be a lot more aligned and just a lot more beneficial for everyone. That's why I started this in the first place. I wanted to help people heal, along with myself and so yeah, I'm excited. I will talk to you guys soon. Bye.