22. The Real Glow Up is Coming Back to Yourself

The Real Glow Up is Coming Back to Yourself

This week, we’re redefining what it really means to glow up. It’s not about the fake tan, the filler, or the filters — it’s about healing, coming home to yourself, and embracing the version of you that feels the most real. I’m sharing how I’ve been letting go of outdated beauty habits, learning to honor my natural skin tone, and reconnecting with what makes me feel confident from the inside out.

From internal peace to skincare, boundaries, and self-acceptance, this episode is a reminder that the real glow-up happens when you stop trying to be someone else and finally become you.

In this episode, we talk about:
✨ How external beauty routines can mask inner insecurities
✨ Why embracing your natural features is the ultimate act of confidence
✨ Healing your relationship with your body, skin, and self-image
✨ The link between health, self-care, and authentic radiance
✨ What it means to glow from within — physically, emotionally, and spiritually

“The real glow up isn’t something you achieve — it’s something you uncover.”

Mentioned in this episode:

• Color theory & dressing for your natural undertones
• The impact of beauty standards on self-worth
• Tips for building confidence through self-care
• My personal skincare and wellness reset

Listen if you’re ready to:
🌿 Feel beautiful in your own skin
💫 Let go of comparison and perfectionism
🌸 Reclaim your confidence and glow from the inside out

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Transcript

Madeline: 0:00

Welcome to Becoming Sunshine. For those of you that know me, you know that Sunshine has been an alias of mine for almost a decade now, and sunshine also is me becoming my highest self, and that's what this podcast is about. I'm here to help you understand yourself better and maybe learn some more about myself along the way. Thanks so much for joining me. I'm excited.

0:27

Hey friends. Welcome back to Becoming Sunshine. So today I wanna talk about glow ups. It's a new month, new energy, and I decided to commit to myself fully this month. I had this realization recently. I feel like I've been thinking about wanting to do this for a while now, but I just I don't know, was scared. It seems silly, but I feel like the white girlies will understand. So for whoever's watching this video, you can see that I'm pretty fair today, pretty pale, and I've decided to embrace my natural skin tone. For years I did the fake tanning. I did the tanning beds. At one point I was taking melanin peptide shots in order to make my skin darker. I did that for years and I did the tanning bed for years and I used to do the the spray tans, and I stopped doing that for a while and I recently, in this past year started doing those again just'cause I was tired of damaging my skin. I've always been really into skincare and beauty and wellness, and it just doesn't make sense to be doing all these aesthetic procedures when I'm in the tanning bed, damaging my skin, that's the fastest cause of premature aging, and so it just doesn't make sense. I had stopped this past year doing a lot of facials and neglecting my skincare a little bit because I was doing the fake tan and I didn't wanna fade my tan faster because for the girlies that do the fake tan, it's literally so much maintenance and I already have so many appointments and so much maintenance that I do, and I'm a very big believer in being high maintenance in order to be low maintenance. And if you don't know what that means, it's like I would rather do my skincare or do an aesthetic procedure instead of spending hours doing my makeup every day or whatever. I don't have any makeup on right now, and I prefer to just be able to wake up and go. That's why I like to get my eyelash extensions done and take care of my skin and I have my brows tattooed and my lips tattooed with permanent makeup so I can pretty much just wake up and like I'm good to go. Maybe some people think those are high maintenance things, but that way I can just wake up and go to the gym and run errands and I look pretty good. I just put lip gloss on or whatever. But I stopped doing that stuff for the past like eight months or so since I was fake tanning. And I realized that one, most of the time I did not look better. I always feel like half the time it wasn't the right color or it wasn't the right undertone. It looked weird or it came off like all splotchy and I just was like this is literally so much maintenance and half the time it doesn't even look good, and I'm neglecting my skincare. There's treatments I can't get. I have to stop doing my laser hair removal. I have to stop doing my scar treatments. I have to stop doing all these things, and I'm just like, this is counterproductive. And also too, I feel like in the last year or so, I've had more flareups and digestive issues than I've had, and honestly it makes sense'cause your skin is the biggest organ that you have and I'm rubbing chemicals on it every single week. That can't be good for me, especially being a health and wellness girly. It's not really on brand for me. This has been a journey for sure about self-acceptance and everything, and also the realization that we're usually the most attractive and beautiful when we're embracing our natural beauty. The real glow up is when you're embracing your natural beauty. God doesn't make mistakes like God, the universe, whatever. The coloring that you have, and of course I still dye my hair, like whatever. I was changing my skin color and it's just the coloring that you have, your eyes and your hair and your skin, they all go together and you're gonna look the best when you're embracing what you're supposed to look like. I feel like this stems, of course, from childhood, it's crazy. When I was little I had really fare porcelain white skin, and my mom used to say it was like a little China doll, So cute. And I love that, my mom telling me I'm beautiful from a young age. Like we love that, and then of course, we go to school and everyone is bullying me in elementary school because it was so pale and so fair skinned, which is so silly now. Kids are mean, kids are cruel. And so as soon as I was old enough to start tanning in the tanning beds or using fake tan or whatever, I did. I literally became a tan anorexic or whatever the expression is. In high school, I would tan every single day after school. I wanted to be as dark as possible. I look back at photos and I'm just like, I did not look better. I think I just thought in my head that the darker I was, the more attractive I would be when really I was just making myself look worse. Yeah, it's crazy. I feel like we look back at photos of our different phases with our hair, like our eyebrows, our eyelashes, and we're just like, wow, damn. I look worse because I'm trying to change myself. The more I've leaned into a natural aesthetic, more natural makeup, just like an overall vibe, I look better and I look younger. I remember when I was like 24. I had a lot of lip filler. I feel like we all did, and this was back like 2016, 2018, that era where everything was just extreme and over exaggerated. Also working in an industry where everything is just overly exaggerated, overly feminized. So I had the big lips, I had big lashes. I like 22 inch, three row hair extensions. Everything was just over the top, and I look back at photos and I'm just like, I did not look better. During this time, I was really sick. It was when I was the most sick with my autoimmune disease. My hair was falling out, my skin was really bad. I had really bad psoriasis and dermatitis. I was putting on weight and I just didn't feel beautiful. I think I did these things to try to mask how I felt or to try to feel more beautiful and feminine, which is understandable of course. But yeah, I ended making myself look worse. I remember when I went into remission, I lost 12 pounds, which definitely helped make me feel better. But also too, I took out the hair extensions, I dissolved my lip fillers, I started getting way more natural looking lashes, and I had a whole glow up. And yes, of course I got healthier and I think real beauty comes from the inside. You glow from within, and I think that was expressed outwardly, but also too, I came back to myself. I remember I was dating this guy and he was like looking at old pictures on my Instagram. He's like this doesn't even look like you, how much work have you had done? I was like, I actually have less stuff done now than I did in those photos. I look more like myself now than I did in those photos. And obviously that's like a very rude thing to say and he sucks, he's in the bin where he belongs, but he had a point. Most of the time you look better with less, and I'm not here to say that people shouldn't get work done or they shouldn't enhance their natural beauty. I'm all for enhancing the natural beauty. Like I'm a surgery girly, I'm an aesthetics girly, but usually good work is undetectable and it just enhances what you already have. It doesn't change you. When you're trying to change yourself, I think that's when people run into problems. When girls get work done that doesn't match their ethnicity or their anatomy and then it just doesn't match, and maybe it looks good on Instagram or in photos, but in real life, it just looks a little bit off and crazy. And also too, the way that we look is the result of generations of people that fell in love and decided to procreate and we're the results of that. That's such a beautiful story, and the heritage of that. So we should have pride in the way that we look. And also too, I don't wanna look like everyone else. I think standards of beauty have definitely changed, and they're evolving and I feel like now it's definitely going back to more original, not everyone looks the same and having unique features is considered beautiful. Especially with social media, I think it's really important to follow people that look like you. If you are a certain ethnicity or you have a certain aesthetic, follow people that look like you, so that you can see the beauty in what you have. At one point I would follow a bunch of tan blonde girls with BBLs or whatever, and I was just like, oh, I need to look like this to be beautiful. No, you can look like you and also be beautiful. There's anything wrong with that aesthetic, but follow people that look like you and look up to people that look like you and embrace what you have and it'll make you feel better. I started following a bunch of Slavic looking paler skin tone girls that look beautiful and I'm just like, wow this is actually such a flex. And also too, I was thinking okay, if I stop the fake tanning, then that means I have to really dedicate to my skincare again, and go back to getting my scars removed. I have really, they're not horrible, but they're definitely an insecurity of mine, I have scars on my knees from when I was a baby dancer and I was doing stage and I didn't know how to dance on my knees properly. And I busted both my knees open and they just kept reopening and it's actually tragic to think about, but I send so much love to that old version of me. But yeah, I still have those scars on my knees and when I'm more fair you can see them and I don't like that. That's why I also liked being tan because it covered stuff up. Everyone looks better with the tan because you look more toned and more lean and if you have blemishes or scars, they're not as noticeable. And so I was like, okay, let's say I embrace my skin tone, I have to really commit, recommit to my skincare regime and work on my scars again. I have to be more committed in the gym. All these things are good things. I feel like being beautiful and having fair skin is such a flex because it's like you do have to double down on your self-care and honestly, those are really all positives. Okay, I have to take better care of my skin. I have to take better care of my body. I have to take better care of my health. I feel like embracing my natural skin tone is just gonna make me more accountable. At the end of the day, that's a good thing. I'm gonna be more lean and toned and I'll have better, beautiful, glowing skin. Also too, I'll be less inflamed not constantly putting chemicals all over myself. So I'm like, okay, this is a win and it's less maintenance. I'm not gonna be ruining my sheets all the time and ruining my clothes all the time. And like I can't go out or I have to time my other maintenance appointments, like my wax appointment, my laser appointment around my tanning schedule. This is just too much. Let's bring it back to health at the end of the day. What is the healthiest thing and also what's the easiest thing? Not fake tanning anymore. A part of me is like, oh I might look washed it out in certain colors or I won't be able to wear certain colors. Okay, then I probably shouldn't be wearing those colors anyways. Color theory is so real, and if you haven't heard of color theory, definitely look into it. There's professionals that do it, but honestly you can do Chat GPT, and basically it's a science and it takes into consideration your hair, skin, and eye color and what colors look best on you and what colors don't, and you don't have to have a tan or anything. These are just the colors that naturally suit you and wearing these colors are gonna give you an instant glow up. You'll just look more glowy and beautiful. I could not wear neon, that's not one of my colors, but I look really good in cool, muted neutral tones. I feel like this is the chic girl elevated glow up, it's very like adult of me. And also too, I think I wanted to be tan because I felt working as a sex worker, I would make less money or I would be less confident at the club, or doing OF and making content if I was pale, I just wouldn't look as good. And that's valid, that's definitely valid, but again, it's holding me accountable and I'm gonna have to take better care of myself to look and feel good. And in the end, I'm gonna end up looking better. I can't hide behind this fake tan, and also I'll be healthier. Also too i've learned this from multiple sources, like multiple men. I think most men will agree that they actually prefer a natural girlie. I've never met a guy, and I understand not all women can wear their natural hair, and I personally am on a hair growth journey and a hair health journey. I do have pretty good hair, I do get dermatitis and flareups on my scalp and I just want healthier hair. I'm starting with the skin. But I would love to be able to wear my natural hair texture and have it be smooth and healthy and not frizzy. And so I am in the process of that, but i've never met a guy that didn't prefer natural hair over extensions. Even if your hair is short, yeah, we all love like the look of the long luscious hair, but guys really do prefer natural hair and real hair over extensions. And also too, I think guys prefer Your natural texture. So being able to embrace your natural texture is definitely a flex. I'm working towards that for sure. Of course I do love the smooth, blown out look, but every guy I've ever dated, like even most recently I was with this guy and he's like, I wanna see your hair wet, I wanna see your natural hair. They just love that. I don't know why. I don't know, maybe it's an evolutionary thing, like it's our health, like men are usually attracted to features on a woman that show we're healthy. It's good'cause of reproduction and evolution and everything. And so yeah, if you have your natural, beautiful, textured hair I don't know, and maybe their attraction to you is your natural form. And maybe that's also an evolutionary thing because if they're attracted to you and for mating purposes, like they want their kids to you know, I don't know, maybe that's just a theory, but Yeah, guys actually prefer the natural aesthetic. Never met a guy that doesn't. And you can disagree with me if you want, whatever, of course you do, you boo. Trends come and go, but I think embracing your natural beauty is always gonna one look the best and two, it's never gonna go outta style and it's always gonna be on trend. I also follow other creators that are on their embrace their natural skin tone journey, and I feel like now that I'm embracing my natural skin tone, I wanna get my skin as healthy as possible. I loved exfoliating and I used to use all these really luxurious oils and body creams and resurfacing and all this stuff, and then when I did the fake tans, I couldn't do that anymore. So now I'm gonna get my skin back to its healthiest and it's glowiest and its softest. Whether it's for me or whether it's'cause I wanna be attractive to my partner, having beautiful, glowing, soft skin that's definitely gonna be preferred over, under moisturized skin that is like darker maybe, or not even maybe the right shade. It's just crazy how much beauty standards and insecurities shape how we perceive ourselves. That's why I feel like it's so important to follow people that look like you and are embraced for the way that they look. Also healing your inner child and healing these wounds, I feel like me accepting myself fully and embracing who I am and what I look like is so healing. That little girl in elementary school who was bullied on the school bus for being pale. Why am I still at this old age, letting that dictate my life and what I should look like? That's so crazy. That's so silly if you think about it. It's just not on brand for me to be changing myself and damaging my skin. I feel like I'm all about beauty and wellness and health and it doesn't make sense. I've been having this feeling for a while now and I was too scared to do anything about it, but I'm taking this new month to recommit, like fully commit to myself and my health. I had a flare up last month and I was down for the count for a couple of weeks. I really wanna prioritize my health and my wellbeing and I feel like when you have a glow up that's physical, everything else in your life also glows up. I feel like I'll feel better, I'll perform better and everything will just be more aligned. I wanna be able to come on here and give you guys beauty tips and advice and all the things that I'm doing or what I like and this just makes the most sense for me. So I'm excited and I would encourage all the other fair skinned girlies to embrace their natural skin tone too, and get their skin as healthy as possible. And this way we look young and beautiful forever. I'm trying to age like Martha Stewart. I feel like aging is optional at this point. Modern aesthetics is just so amazing. It's like magic. The real glow up isn't something that you achieve. It's really something that you uncover. Being the healthiest version of yourself is always gonna be the most beautiful. We should all be glowing up together this season, and I would encourage everyone to do one thing to take a step closer to being healthier, whether that's, walking every single day or meditating every single day, or letting your hair dry naturally, or skipping the fake tan this week. Let's do something to embrace our natural beauty or enhance it and just see how you feel. Just see how you feel. Just try it. Just test it out. Anyways, i'm excited for this little journey. I know it seems obnoxious that I'm making a whole episode on embracing my skin tone and being pale and being cool with it, but I feel like the little girlies that get it, get it. For me it's my skin tone for you it might be your hair or something else. So I think we should just embrace what makes us unique and what makes us different and really, that's what makes us beautiful. So anyways, I love you guys. If you enjoyed this episode please share it, subscribe, and I'll talk to you guys soon, bye.