Committing to Herself for the First Time: Lara's Story | Healing Heroines

After raising six kids and becoming an empty nester, Healing Heroine Lara realized she hadn't put herself first in a long time. It wasn't until she discovered All In and met Hero and Accountability Coach Bonnie Heim that she started weight training and accomplishing goals she never thought possible. Lara shares how navigating motherhood, addiction within her family, and life transitions shaped her, and how choosing accountability changed everything.

What started as a fitness goal became something deeper: strength, confidence, and self-trust.

What You Will Learn

• [00:08:16] Starting accountability was the first thing she did just for herself
• [00:14:07] Raising six kids felt chaotic but deeply fulfilling
• [00:19:40] Families often hide struggles like addiction and behavioral challenges
• [00:22:32] Honesty helped her family face challenges together
• [00:25:47] She returned to accountability after falling into unhealthy habits
• [00:30:52] Strength training improved her energy and confidence
• [00:34:32] Keeping promises to herself built self-trust
• [00:40:08] Growth and strength are possible at any age

Let’s Connect!

Bonnie Heim

Website | Instagram

Chandler Stroud

Website | Instagram | LinkedIn 

Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by Next Day Podcast.

Transcript

[00:00:00] Chandler Stroud: Hey guys, it's Chandler and welcome to The Healing Heroes. I promise you.

[00:00:08] I'm Chandler Stroud, an executive wife and busy mom of two who after years of living with anxiety. Health struggles and an unshakeable feeling like I should be happier, made a profound discovery that changed everything. Join me on a journey where unexpected paths lead to healing and more happiness. On this show, we will explore unconventional ways to unlock more joy in your own life with the help of my very own healers.

[00:00:40] And trusted advisors, the Healing Heroes.

[00:00:47] Hey everyone, and welcome back to the Healing Heroes podcast. I'm your host Chandler, and today we're sharing another Healing Heroine episode. A format where I sit down with one of our healing heroes alongside a woman they've supported through her own healing journey. Today's conversation is about strength, but maybe not in the way you'd expect.

[00:01:11] It's about what happens when the house quiets down after decades of raising children, when the identity you've built around motherhood. Begins to shift when marriage enters a new chapter. When addiction, shame, and hard seasons have shaped your family story, and when in the middle of all of that you decide to rebuild.

[00:01:35] Starting with your body, you'll hear from Laura, a mother of six now an empty nester navigating marriage recovery in her family. And the questions so many women ask in midlife, who am I now? What began as a desire to improve her bone density and gain muscle turned into something so much deeper, confidence, strength, and reclaiming something that had long been set aside.

[00:02:02] Herself. She's joined today by our hero accountability coach Bonnie, who continues to walk alongside her in this season of rebuilding. Before we begin, let me share a little bit more about our guests today. Laura Schaefer is a wife, mother of six. Plus two bonus daughters, photographer, traveler, entrepreneur, and now an enthusiastic weightlifter.

[00:02:29] She's navigated a new chapter of life with gratitude, honesty, and commitment to choosing joy even when life. Has been complicated. Hi, O Bonnie, who many of you know by now, but for new listeners, joining us today is an accountability coach known for helping women build self-trust and strength, especially in seasons of transition.

[00:02:52] She's changed hundreds of lives as a lifestyle coach with all-in a program that focuses on accountability, one-on-one, personalized coaching, and tools that inspire a complete and lasting lifestyle shift toward good health. Laura Bonnie, thank you both so much for being here today. I'm so excited you guys are here.

[00:03:15] Bonnie Heim: Thank you. We are very excited to be here. It's gonna be a great conversation. 

[00:03:19] Lara: So honored to be here. 

[00:03:22] Chandler Stroud: Well, we are honored to have you, Laura. Thank you for joining us. We love having our heroines on the show and as is tradition by now, I always love to start with just a few light warmup questions before we really get going.

[00:03:36] So today, Bonnie, I'm gonna start with you. What's something you've witnessed recently in a client that reminded you why you love this work? 

[00:03:43] Bonnie Heim: I'm going to. Focus on a bunch of clients if I could. There's not just one client, 'cause I work with so many and each of them bring something special to my day that just impacts me in such a positive way.

[00:03:55] I currently have a client who's navigating cancer at the moment, and that's tough and she still shows up and there are no excuses and she is such a bright light as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter. So that's one I've helping clients cheer them on as they're. Grieving, whether it is the loss of a parent or a child or a dog, um, an animal, a pet, something beloved, and they still find the balance.

[00:04:25] They love the accountability. They're taking care of themselves in the best possible way. Hard times with losing jobs, making moves. All of these women are showing up for themselves when it's very easy to find the excuses not to where it's very easy to say. I'll put everyone else first before myself.

[00:04:44] They're leaning in during the hard times and the best of times, and it all equals out with them. And I think that's what I love the most. So it's inspiration during the good times, the bad times, the, the, the times, uh, that we're creating for our future right now. And I think that's what's so powerful, why I love what I do.

[00:05:02] Chandler Stroud: Love that, Bonnie. Thank you for sharing. Laura, what's one small thing that's bringing you joy lately? 

[00:05:09] Lara: God sent me an angel yesterday because I have a new client for my business and she said the same thing you said to me, Chandler, that made such a big difference was if I can help one woman in the world and.

[00:05:24] It's like we immediately bonded and she's already been through it. And it kind of confirmed to me that as women we are negotiating things that no CEO of a company could ever deal with, you know, but the power of a woman's love just standing Raleigh in front of another woman to say, my son died of this end.

[00:05:46] If you need me, I'm here. So she's not even just a client now. And I just made a best friend yesterday and it was like a, I, I feel like it was just an angel. Now I woke up this morning with a, a perspective, so she made a such a difference to me yesterday, and I am brave that I want to do that for other women because we have a real problem going on and so many of us don't know how to handle it.

[00:06:09] Does that make sense? So just that bonding of just one woman to another woman. Kind of made me think tomorrow is gonna be fine. I had a moment when I got in the car yesterday and I said, thank you because this, I have a, I have another woman that is really willing to say, Hey, this is, this is a huge problem.

[00:06:29] And we didn't know how to negotiate it. I've gone, you know, I was so young. My first, and I do really wanna help. I really wanna be there. If I'd be that 3:00 AM call. 'cause I needed a 3:00 AM call when you know you're carrying the weight of the world. And, but then I also say if I had been a CEO of a company or if I, I have a, a small boutique management company that I started, but I don't have the pressure of the world like so many other women have of the work and all of that that I didn't have.

[00:07:09] Was able, I, I guess maybe it's he's always come first, but, or my family's always come first, but that's not, I didn't have the pull, I had, I created my life around my family. I knew I needed to make some money and it needed to be flexible. 'cause evident, you know, you have a meeting and then your daughter threw up and then your son needs to be picked up for this appointment and you're going left and right.

[00:07:33] But just knowing that. I could maybe help another woman put herself feet on the ground in the morning when some mornings I wasn't able to. 

[00:07:42] Chandler Stroud: Well, thank you for your willingness to do that, even when it's hard. Accountability built that muscle for you, I think 

[00:07:50] Bonnie Heim: for all of us. Right? Like 

[00:07:52] Lara: showing up for yourself.

[00:07:53] Bonnie Heim: Mm-hmm. That's 

[00:07:54] Lara: really big. 

[00:07:54] Chandler Stroud: The magic of Bonnie and accountability is, it really is. 

[00:07:58] Lara: One thing I need to tell you is that when you asked me, when I started. And it, the five year anniversary just came up. I realized the first thing I ever did really for myself was start with all in. 

[00:08:16] Chandler Stroud: I 

[00:08:16] Lara: believe that and, and you brought that outta me.

[00:08:18] 'cause I've been thinking about it for the past two weeks on all my walks and whatnot. I, this was the first thing I ever did for myself was to, wow, have, be brave and get a coach. 'cause you can always go to the gym, put your makeup on, go with your friends and do the class. But it was not showing up for me as much as the world and the gym.

[00:08:41] But anyways, that was years ago. And finally. Now Bonnie is the first thing I think about. And if I'm up past midnight, I open up my app to see what I'm gonna do. Anyways, I'm just chatting. You go with your 

[00:08:54] Bonnie Heim: program. You know what I wanted to, I wanted to add to that because the first thing, and Chandler knows this, the first thing that I ever did for myself.

[00:09:02] Was all in and when I signed, oh yeah. And when I signed up to do it, she said this before on 

[00:09:07] the 

[00:09:07] Chandler Stroud: show, 

[00:09:07] Bonnie Heim: I didn't tell Scott, I didn't tell my sons. I told no one because there was so much shame in for, for myself alone, that I had started so many programs and failed and given up and quit. And I thought, oh, this is just gonna be another one of those.

[00:09:24] So I went about six weeks into the program. Tell, tell your family no one knew, but they knew that I was changing, like I wasn't drinking. I was eating really healthy, and they saw me moving and working and walking. And so I relate so much to that and I love that because it is the one thing that we are doing, and I take such pride in it because it changed my life as it did with yours and with Chandler's.

[00:09:51] Just having someone by your side and and allowing you to excel and fail. And have the highs. And have the lows. And so I get it 100%. There's, mine was more shame, um, related, but once I took off, I was flying and I've never looked back. And that's what my hope is for all my clients. So, 

[00:10:12] Lara: and you have inspired so many women.

[00:10:14] How many women do you think, 

[00:10:16] Bonnie Heim: I dunno, 

[00:10:17] Lara: you have been such, such a huge inspiration. 

[00:10:19] Chandler Stroud: Thank you. 

[00:10:21] Lara: How many? 

[00:10:21] Chandler Stroud: Yeah, 

[00:10:22] Bonnie Heim: probably hundreds I think. 

[00:10:24] Chandler Stroud: Now, Laura, to the extent that you're comfortable sharing, I'd love to start with your life before this current season. You were a mom throughout your twenties and thirties, raising six children.

[00:10:39] What was that chapter like for you? 

[00:10:42] Lara: Chaos, twenties and thirties. Don't really remember much of them. I know. I love them. I love the pictures. Chaos. There's always somebody, you can't plan anything because. As soon as you've got that great fun lunch date and then somebody throws up and you gotta go to school and get 'em and then you have to a doctor's appointment and then you've got weekends.

[00:11:03] Clark and I were going like this on I five because we were high fiving each other. 'cause somebody had a game, Portland and somebody had a game in Eugene and then we had dance and it was just full on six ring circus you've got. So I had, you know, somebody getting ready for prom and somebody getting ready for.

[00:11:23] Senior prom. Junior prom. Then I had an 8-year-old that needed to go to dance practice and we had to do costume changes. And I don't know anybody who has done this 'cause we never talk about it. But I was changing clothes all the time 'cause I had a small business that I was trying to run. So then I had to put on my work clothes and then I had to put on my mom.

[00:11:42] I had to go pick up every day. Stopped at two 30 'cause that's when pickup was. So I always had until two 30 I had. Six kids in five schools at one point. So I was, oh 

[00:11:53] Chandler Stroud: my gosh. 

[00:11:53] Lara: Always in my car. 

[00:11:55] Chandler Stroud: Wow. 

[00:11:56] Lara: It was like the bus. And then, uh, I kind of feel like when you have a large family, a lot of children want, or kids wanna be part of that, and so we kind of absorb some of the only children, which is always fun.

[00:12:11] And these only children, moms would say, oh my gosh, I don't know how you do it. I only have one. And I always said, it is so much easier. When you have everybody had a play date, I said no play dates, you have each other. Um, I made your own play dates, which is funny 'cause I didn't come from a large family at all.

[00:12:29] I am I, no cousins, no aunts, no uncles, no anything. So this was new, navigating it, but it was the best thing. 

[00:12:39] Chandler Stroud: Hmm. 

[00:12:39] Lara: It was just great. But you also don't, it's like childbirth. You don't remember the bad times. Yeah, so I don't really remember how I did it, but it was. I do it again, and it's really hard when it ends.

[00:12:51] Chandler Stroud: I feel that in how you are responding, like it's coming through in your voice, in your heart. Like I see it and I feel it coming from you, and I just, thanks for sharing that. 

[00:13:04] Bonnie Heim: Here's the thing I wanna say, though, the chaos doesn't really end. The chaos just gets better in a different way. And I can say that because I'm a little bit further along than you are with my kids.

[00:13:15] The chaos becomes more beautiful, it becomes more meaningful, and then you get to see the next generation with grandkids, and that's just a whole different world of love and goodness and all the fun stuff. So I know I felt like my life was gonna end when the kids went off to college. It's just the beginning of a new, beautiful chapter.

[00:13:34] I promise. 

[00:13:35] Lara: Well, they're all very reassuring now. They're all working. My youngest is a C or she's an accountant. Now gets I even gets done. 

[00:13:43] Bonnie Heim: Just gets better, I promise. 

[00:13:45] Lara: Yeah. 

[00:13:45] Chandler Stroud: Love it. I love 

[00:13:46] it. 

[00:13:46] Lara: Children, grandchildren, Laura are manifesting. 

[00:13:48] Chandler Stroud: Laura, they're coming. You're gonna have so many, you're gonna have so many.

[00:13:50] Yeah. 

[00:13:51] Bonnie Heim: Yeah. Seriously. 

[00:13:51] Chandler Stroud: Laura, what were s. What were some of the most challenging battles that you faced as a mom in those early years, and how did you navigate and manage everything that was going on in your life and family at that time? Maybe even tell us who you turned to for support. 

[00:14:07] Lara: You just do it. I knew I wanted a big family.

[00:14:12] I always knew that. Sometimes I really don't know how I got through it, but it was not ever a problem for me. I don't remember ever thinking, this is too much. I can't handle it. It was so, it was such love. I had a grandmother that was the most influential person in my entire life, and. I knew I wanted to be.

[00:14:36] She died. She left me way too early. She left me right before I left for college, and I didn't really know how to navigate that and, but I knew I wanted to be a grandma and to pass off all of this off to her in her honor, kind of, I know that sounds crazy, but it, the chaos was incredible. Calendar planning is amazing.

[00:15:01] And by the way, I've heard that there's all these really cool calendars now that you can track. Where all your kids are going and everything, but I didn't have that. It was all my brain and we just did it together. In fact, my oldest two kind of helped me along the way. Sometimes I have regret for that because I feel like they had to grow up too to help with the others.

[00:15:22] It's a lot of driving. It's a lot of love. I don't remember ever really having time for myself, but I really, truly don't have any memories of. It being hard, you know, I never felt like, oh, I can't do this anymore. I always felt grateful that I didn't have another job. You know, I, I, I do look at women that are so amazing that actually can handle a career.

[00:15:50] And kids, I, when I wasn't married anymore, I started a small business managing properties, a boutique business. It's still going and I love it, but it's never even been something I would even include in a bio, 'cause I just figured it was. My most important work is my children, but that was helpful. But that added to the wardrobe changes, I felt like Superman.

[00:16:12] Oh, gotta make a meeting. The one thing that I can say that was interesting is you make these friends when your children, and Bonnie probably had this too, you make friends when your kids, with all the kids' moms. Yeah. 

[00:16:27] Bonnie Heim: Yes, 

[00:16:27] Lara: but then when you, when your kids graduate and move on, they aren't really your friends for life.

[00:16:34] I don't know if that makes sense. It does, but now I've found that in this new life that I have as an empty nester, which is super fun, I need to make friends that are about me and not my kids. 

[00:16:50] Chandler Stroud: Mm-hmm. 

[00:16:51] Lara: I don't know if you felt that way, Bonnie. They were all the, the soccer moms or the lacrosse moms or the dance moms, but they weren't for me.

[00:17:00] And so I think it helped me navigate having those parent friends. But in the new life, I need to find my own friends. 

[00:17:11] Bonnie Heim: I also think that when you know you do have your friends from your kids and that, that they've grown up with, and there are some that definitely stick around, but I always say there friends are, some friends are there just for a season, and then you reach certain ages, and I don't know whether you discovered this, but I did pivotal ages and you edit.

[00:17:32] You kind of edit the friends that are really there for you and that you feel a mutual sort of relationship with and, and you grow with them or you don't grow any longer. And, and it's okay to say goodbye to those friends. And it's okay to carry the ones that you love with you continuing forward into, you know, your future.

[00:17:50] Lara: Yeah. And trying to find your friends, like right now. For Clark and I, every year we put down our big calendar, which always changes, and we put down our goals and really, I should show you the whiteboard. It says 2026 goals for Clark and Laura, and it is Find our friends. We need to find people moving on in this, this stage of life.

[00:18:17] We travel a lot, but that there's a need there right now. 

[00:18:21] Chandler Stroud: And I think that's normal once you have experienced a transition to find your people who understand either what you've gone through or who are post that transition and more in alignment with however you've changed through that season. Right? So I think that's totally normal.

[00:18:39] Laura, as you were talking, it's, you know, you talk a lot about not having a career, but here you are, this business owner, entrepreneur, starting your own side thing. While you know full-time moms. Six kids. I mean six kids is a career that is so much to carry, and I love listening to the realness of how those memories come flooding back for you, but also how much joy is so apparent as you kind of marinate in them in those memories and think about it.

[00:19:11] I have to just ask, I mean, you've shared in the past that sometimes families often pretend everything is fine in a lot of different ways, especially when things get really hard, which, you know, with six kids and trying to start a business and managing your marriage like that had to have been something you experienced at some point growing up and into your motherhood journey in your twenties and thirties.

[00:19:40] Can you talk a little bit about that and maybe what that was like emotionally for you? 

[00:19:46] Lara: That's such a good question. So I think, you know, you could have one child, you could have two, you could have three, however many you have, it's not ever gonna be perfect. I, you know, we, we negotiated, um. Behavioral issues.

[00:20:04] Um, we have autism. Uh, my, my third infect we're so open about it because when we were going through his autism, um. Diagnosis or, or trying to figure out what was going on with George. Oh my goodness. Um, he just finally deciding to go to him and say, here's, here's what you, what I know it's, it's a salad bar, George, you have an autism diagnosis.

[00:20:43] This is why you have the schools involved. This is why you have. You were kicked out of Catholic school. This is why we're, I'm homeschooling for you for a while. This is why. But just opening the book and saying, this is what the doctors say you have, and let's do this together. Let's get an etiquette consultant in and, and help teach you how to come up with, um, conversation topics, and let's give you the best tools that you can, but you need to know exactly.

[00:21:17] You know what you have. And being told maybe he'll never live alone, like he won't be able to negotiate the world. But now he is a physical therapist and he, he went to University of Washington and he even says things like, my autistic children are my favorite and my, you know, I wish I could go into more of that.

[00:21:38] We've had addiction. We had kids come home and pretend that they hadn't been drinking. Right? I mean, I went through the gamut and I always. Told my kids, Hey, I wrote the book. I didn't just read it. Mm-hmm. I'm on it. Um, but we have had addiction hit us and as a family, we've gone through it. Um, I remember my little 8-year-old saying.

[00:22:03] I said, how is counseling? Well, mom, there's use abuse, and then it crosses to addiction, and then she's eight years old and realizing this is what we have to do. We have to be honest. We have to, there's six of us. We are a pod. I felt like I was young enough to be part of this growing up pod and being really honest and facing this very small.

[00:22:32] Community head on and being brave sometimes. I never realized. I also am like, wow, where's this coming from? But I also didn't realize where it would come from, like the strength. But you just get up and you do it just like anybody with cancer, just with anybody that is facing anything. You get up in the morning and you figure it out, and I brought them all along.

[00:22:58] Together. We are a pod. The fun thing is five out of six of them have now all moved back to Eugene and they have sibling nights every other week. They all go out to dinner. They all go do this stuff. They, we see them all the time too. They're always in and out. That's why we have all this podcast in progress.

[00:23:15] 'cause you never know when a kid's gonna drop by, which I love. But to say that I did this alone, we all grew up together. We had to, and also, I don't think it was hard. I don't, I don't, I don't want anyone who's raising their kids right now to think, oh, she said it's not hard. 'cause it was so hard that I don't remember it now.

[00:23:39] Right. It was so hard. But I don't remember shoveling out of it. But I do remember. That I would cry in the closet. I have a closet, very big closet. I have a very small area of my closet that I can make my tiny little body fit into. And I remember just crying. And also I remember just thinking about my grandmother and she was so brave.

[00:23:59] Her, her dad died early and she pulled herself up and she put herself through Berkeley and she raised her family and she did so much harder things. So if I could do, if she could do it, I could do it too. But it is so hard being in those trenches, and I guess it's like childbirth. You don't really remember how hard it was.

[00:24:24] But this has been so good for me to go through this with you because it's bringing up so much and I'm actually like, wow, Laura, you actually really, you did a really good job. 

[00:24:38] Chandler Stroud: Yes, you did. Amazing. 

[00:24:39] Lara: And I'm embarrassed to say that in some ways, but wow. 

[00:24:42] Bonnie Heim: No. 

[00:24:43] Chandler Stroud: Yes, you did. You did. I'm listening to you in just in awe, ofWe, yes.

[00:24:49] Everything that you navigated. Managed and worked through and empowered your kids with, given how they're thriving today. Like you made a career of motherhood in the best way possible, and you have a professional career. And it's so inspiring to see someone who's done both and who can admit that it was really hard, but that you wouldn't change any of it and that you loved it at the same time.

[00:25:19] I think that's really special and really cool. You first mentioned joining all in around 2020 and did it for a period of time. There was CID, you stepped away and then came back and are now. Training with Bonnie in 2025 doing the weight training accountability. So I have to ask, what were you hoping to change back then when you came back in 25?

[00:25:44] Like what has your all in accountability journey looked like? 

[00:25:47] Lara: Oh gosh. I needed motivation. Weren't we all kind of. Lazy. I mean, it, the world gave us an excuse to sit in front of Netflix. Right. And I think the, the actual turning point was for me, it's so funny. I was, I, I became my husband's, uh, co. Worker, because I would hear all of everything went onto Zoom.

[00:26:14] So I heard every meeting and I knew everything that was going on. So I would sit there and kind of listen once in a while. And I was eating chips and Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch. And he had a big meeting and they said, excuse me, but whoever's eating needs to stop this. And I, I remember looking at Clark.

[00:26:34] And just hiding under the couch. 

[00:26:35] Bonnie Heim: That's hysterical. 

[00:26:36] Lara: Oh, sorry. It was me. That's 

[00:26:37] Bonnie Heim: hysterical. 

[00:26:38] Lara: But I was in that mode. I was just going so lazy and whatnot. And then, um, I was watching. The Housewives at the same time. And I fell in love with this Teddy medic Melancamp 'cause she was so pregnant and she had to go and she was sober and everybody was chaos and everything.

[00:27:00] And I was thinking, okay, I've heard of, and so I started it. Because I felt like, I felt sorry for her. 'cause I was always pregnant and I was super young, so I was going to my friend's keggers with a big old tummy and always the sober ones. So I kept looking into her and I, I started it. I thought this is a great, but after looking into her and, you know, kind of stalking the whole program, I thought, oh, go into this and this is gonna help you.

[00:27:26] It'll be accountability. Loved it, loved it. It put me back on track. Um. And then I stopped. I don't really know why, but I stopped. The eating thing was really hard for me actually trying to keep up with the schedule because at seven o'clock, turning it down when I usually eat at like eight or nine. Um, but then came back and came back and you know what?

[00:27:49] Um. Clark the second time had Bonnie, and he always would say, oh, my coach has this great restaurant. She knows this area. She is like, Bonnie's lived everywhere by the way. And so, um, he always had all these great restaurants and things and this accountability thing. And so she just kept on with us. And then I started October 27th.

[00:28:13] My life has changed. It has literally changed because also Bonnie's my friend. So when my, my Pierre died, my prescription for an aching heart, when my kids, my last left the nest, uh, my Pierre died, and oh my gosh, here's Bonnie. I know all these vets, let me help you, let me take this. Let me help you and try not to cry.

[00:28:39] I know literally she's the end of my day and the beginning of my day, and. I wanna make her proud every day by, by getting there. 'cause also she is on it. And I, I actually even send a friend to her. She, she's, uh, honestly, Bonnie, you're my life. I love you so much. 

[00:29:04] Bonnie Heim: Love you too. 

[00:29:06] Lara: Every morning I look for your text and I read everything you write me.

[00:29:10] And I just know that this is for me. But you've also been through so much yourself. It's like a bond that I never want to lose. 

[00:29:21] Chandler Stroud: I agree. 

[00:29:22] Lara: Uh, Chandler, when you asked me about it, it is the first thing I ever did for myself. I, I don't think I ever, I, it was always 'cause I wanted to be able to play basketball with my kids, so I'd learned how to play basketball.

[00:29:37] I'm so terrible. I'm five one. But you know, it was always around the kids. But this is for me and also my kids have sent me texts that say, mom. We're so glad you're doing this 'cause we want you to be there. And at five one and 105 pounds, you're not gonna go because you feel like you're, the world's telling you that you need to get in shape, right?

[00:29:59] Your clothes are still fitting, but you are not healthy. And so it doesn't have to be for the woman that needs to lose weight 'cause she isn't comfortable in what she's wearing. I mean, I say I was fluffy, but my, my absolute highest way I've ever gone to was 127 and that was non-pregnant. And that's when I started LA nf.

[00:30:23] But it came off so dang fast. But now, like I can see the difference in my muscles and we just helped our, one of our kids move some things and I was actually able to participate. And that would be like, wait, Laura is actually whole, like, we are unloading things and I can do it now. So I'm, I'm feeling like it's a new life for me.

[00:30:52] I, it's put me in a mindset to be gracious and gr and have such gratitude and joy. And also to know I'm supported. 

[00:31:01] Chandler Stroud: You guys just made me tear up. I mean. The two of you together, there is such a clear bond, and you talked about that chemistry when we first met Laura, and it's truly amazing to witness and be here with you guys because this is the first time you've been on video together, if I'm not mistaken.

[00:31:20] Yeah. I sound today 

[00:31:21] Bonnie Heim: like, 

[00:31:21] Lara: give 

[00:31:21] Bonnie Heim: me, we've known each other. We've known each other for years, and that's the, like, I'm so emotional right now, so I'm gonna try and pull myself together, but. We've known each other for years. And I, I did start out coaching Clark, who is the most entertaining person you've ever met.

[00:31:36] And I mean, he's just so cute. So then I think the second time I was coaching Clark, he goes, I wanna ask, add my wife to the thread. And so that's kind of how I was thinking about how you and I, I didn't 

[00:31:46] Lara: know 

[00:31:46] Bonnie Heim: that I met. Oh, yeah, yeah. He goes, because I wanna add my, he was, he was all about you gushing about you about how much he loved you.

[00:31:52] And I'm like, that is so amazing. Let's add her to the thread. So we added you onto the thread. And um, and then we just kind of kept in touch. Lara and I developed this friendship, like this true bond. Before you were 

[00:32:05] Lara: even, 

[00:32:06] Bonnie Heim: even 

[00:32:06] Lara: my coach. 

[00:32:07] Bonnie Heim: Yeah. Just via Instagram. We would comment on stuff and then, um, she saw me doing strength workouts and then, you know, she kind of danced around it because they travel so extensively throughout the year.

[00:32:19] Like they're nonstop on the go changer. Like I know your husband Ryan travels all the time. Mm-hmm. Clark and Lara are on the road nonstop and they make it work and so. She began with me and we've never looked back. And I think that's the the funniest thing because I'm looking at Lara. All five, one, she is a powerhouse.

[00:32:39] You are stronger than you give yourself credit for being. And she had fear like she was fearful about, oh gosh, strength. And she, as I said, she danced around it a lot as I danced around all in before I began. And I said, and I, I don't ever like to minimize what I'm doing, but I've said, look, if I can do it, you can do it.

[00:32:59] And our strength program was so incredible. I said, the workouts are basically customized for you personally. You can take it with you anywhere you go. And that's what I loved about it for her specifically and a lot of my clients who are so busy and active is that it's at your fingertips. You have a customized workout, so she can take it to the hotels.

[00:33:17] We can be flexible as she's traveling and it just worked and clicked. And so to see her. Be so obsessed with it as I am and obsessed is meant in the best way, not in a negative way at all. It's just a high, it's just a look what I can do. Look how much stronger I am helping my kids with the move. I've been doing things around this house lifting and, and purging so many things to get ready for a move myself.

[00:33:41] And I'm like, oh, step aside Scott. I've got this. You know, I don't have, ask anyone help. Yeah, it's totally so. Anyway, I just had to say that. Yeah, we started out when I was coaching Clark, but the bond between the two of us is, it runs so deep. It's really uncanny and it's so beautiful and it's such a gift all at the same time.

[00:34:02] Lara: I, I can't say enough about how it's changed my life and I'm gonna, I'm gonna be a completely different woman now. I send Snapchat, uh, uh, the little, I just lifted 17 raccoons day or 77 raccoons day, and the kids are like, yay, mom. Yay. You know? So great. Like, this whole thing has just been great, but it's, uh, 

[00:34:23] Chandler Stroud: great, Laura.

[00:34:25] On that note actually, what did shift in you once you started keeping promises to yourself consistently? 

[00:34:32] Lara: I can't even tell you actually. It's lit me on fire for so many things. It's given me a lot more energy. Um, it's the weights are, they're so hard. I mean, they are really hard, but it's a doable thing.

[00:34:47] And um, I will definitely, once I'm done with my weights, it sends me into this new energy and I'll go for these gratitude walks and now it's become part of who I am physically when you are. Working on yourself. I think it does something to your brain because I also feel so much more confident. Can I say that clothed my body looks different?

[00:35:12] No, but there's something inside of me that is so much more confident because I know that I look at my weights and I also going into the hotel gyms, um, also men scream when they lift. No one told me that, like legitimately scream. So I'm like. Texting Bonnie. Yeah. Oh my gosh. This guy was screaming and I still made it through the gym.

[00:35:39] I wasn't scared. 

[00:35:40] Bonnie Heim: Ugh. 

[00:35:41] Lara: Um, I'm walking confidently into a gym now because I, 

[00:35:46] Bonnie Heim: you know 

[00:35:46] Lara: what you're 

[00:35:46] Bonnie Heim: doing. 

[00:35:47] Lara: As soon as we slow down our travel, we are probably on the go. We're gonna be gone next week for the next 12 days, but I always have Bonnie and El say, oh, shoot, we're staying in an Old Inn and there's no gym.

[00:35:58] And she's like, here's what we're gonna do today. We are gonna always pivot. We we're gonna count, count steps, we we're, we're gonna pivot. And when I started all in, I wasn't sure. I said, I'm so weak. I've never light lifted. My, my, I have a bone density. I need to, I need to work my body. And she sent me this beautiful recorded.

[00:36:18] Here's the deal. You're going to love it. I will catch you. I will hold your hand, and we are gonna do this together. And you know what? When you've been a caretaker your entire life and nobody's taking care of you, and somebody wraps you in that warm blanket and says, I'm gonna be here for you every step of the way, you feel almost like a child whose mom just picked them up and is loving them.

[00:36:45] I mean, she. I'm telling you I'm gonna cry. But that day, my whole life changed because I knew that there was somebody there that was gonna love me almost like a mom and hold my hand. And you know, I was sick last week and she's like, here's what we're gonna do. You're gonna go to bed and everything's gonna be okay.

[00:37:07] You are gonna be fine. Laura and I woke up and the day I felt better, oh my gosh, I'm doing it again. I have the strength to get up then and continue with something that I committed to and I committed to my kids. I committed to my husband, but I never could committed to myself. I'm so committed to myself, and now I'm seeing that my kids love it.

[00:37:30] My husband, I get a note every morning by my coffee. Every morning that I wake up, my husband brings me a note and it's always like, you are doing so well. You're so beautiful. Know, I'm not as beautiful as I was when I met him, but I feel more beautiful because I am, I'm, I'm seeing like myself. Stand up for me.

[00:37:54] Chandler Stroud: Bonnie, you are a very special human being. 

[00:37:57] Bonnie Heim: Thank you. 

[00:37:57] Chandler Stroud: And I know you've heard that before on the show, but I want to echo those sentiments here. Here. You guys are 

[00:38:02] Bonnie Heim: just real. I'm gonna like, where's the Kleenex? But thank you 

[00:38:05] Chandler Stroud: Laura. For the young mother in the trenches right now who feels like she has no time for herself, what would you want her to know?

[00:38:15] Lara: You will pee in private someday. 

[00:38:18] Bonnie Heim: What'd you say? 

[00:38:19] Lara: You will pee in private someday. You will sleep in someday. 

[00:38:26] Bonnie Heim: Yeah, 

[00:38:27] Lara: it will end. But gosh 

[00:38:29] Bonnie Heim: fun. 

[00:38:30] Lara: Enjoy it. 'cause honestly, everyone will tell you, I remember somebody saying. Enjoy it. 'cause there was an end and I thought peed in private. I haven't had a moment to myself.

[00:38:42] I don't know who I am. It will someday, I promise you. Take a break. Find the joy. It's, you will miss it won't you? Don't, Bonnie. You will. Don't you think you'll miss those babies? 

[00:39:00] Bonnie Heim: I do. I look back and, um. But here's the beautiful thing is that you look back at your kids and then you see snapshots of them in the grand babies.

[00:39:12] And I'm gonna get emotional now, but 

[00:39:15] Lara: please do. 

[00:39:16] Bonnie Heim: It flies by so quickly. It does. But the beauty is that we're here now and we're making ourselves stronger and better. So that we can do all those fun things with our, our, our grandkids and for the future, and skiing with them or running with them or doing a half marathon with kids.

[00:39:33] It's just taking the grandkids to the zoo and not being exhausted, being mobile and being active and being alive. And, um, it does go by in the blink of an eye, but again, you get those glimpses and snapshots in those grand babies and you're like, oh my God. So Bradley or so Blake, or so Brett, you know, 

[00:39:49] Lara: I can't wait.

[00:39:50] I can't. I tell my kids, I didn't have you to have kids. I had you to have grandchildren. Let's 

[00:39:55] Bonnie Heim: Yeah, hop to it. 

[00:39:57] Lara: That kids. 

[00:39:58] Bonnie Heim: Exactly. Exactly. 

[00:39:59] Chandler Stroud: Bonnie, what's one myth about aging and strength that you'd love to challenge or that you'd love to gently challenge? 

[00:40:08] Bonnie Heim: That your best years are behind you? I think that's such bs.

[00:40:13] I think you can change. Improve and find a light at any age in life. Like I feel like right now at my age, even on my birthday day, like I'm just coming into my stride. I'm just getting, catching up with who I was meant to be. Um, another myth strength training is for the young. It's not as women as men.

[00:40:35] When we get older, we need it not only for um, muscle mass, but for our minds, for the, the feeling of empowerment. Strength training is a must, and I was a big runner, as you know. I still do run and I love it, but strength training has just given me a whole new lease on life, and I can see it in the way it has transformed my body and especially my mind.

[00:40:57] Aging means that you're in a decline. It absolutely does not. I mean, now and then, yes, I can't remember where my glasses are when they're on top of my head, but bottom line, um. Aging is one of the most beautiful things, and if you grow into it or lean into it, I always say lean all in and embrace the beauty of every phase of your life.

[00:41:15] That's where the magic happens, and that's where you find the positivity. And yes, we've talked about joy a lot today. That's where the joy is, is where you're happy, where you are, and you're content with where you're going. And then the final thing I, I would say is that it's not about, um, how can I say this?

[00:41:32] Reverse aging. It's about aging powerfully and I think that's what this whole discussion that we've had today is about. It's gra, I always say this, it's grabbing back your power. It's finding your strength when perhaps we thought we lost it. It is aging powerfully and knowing that you're never stuck. You can always improve and you can always.

[00:41:56] Grow, and as Chandler always says, the term curious, it's like the most magical term in the English language. Um, we can continue to be curious and empower ourselves and, and live life to the fullest. You're never stuck. 

[00:42:10] Chandler Stroud: You're never stuck. I think you, that's a beautiful way to end. Bonnie Laura, thank you for your honesty and your willingness to share the full picture with all of us today, not just the highlight reel.

[00:42:24] Bonnie, thank you for your steady support of women navigating often these very tender transitions in life. I know Laura expressed that today, but I too am so grateful for everything that you've given us. So I hope 

[00:42:41] Lara: you're amazing. 

[00:42:42] Chandler Stroud: Those words, land today always, but especially on your birthday. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need a reminder that it's never too late to rebuild physically, emotionally, or relationally.

[00:42:59] You can also visit healing Heroes podcast.com to meet our heroes and learn more about working with them or grabbing time with me for a call. Thanks for listening everyone, and until next time, remember, be curious, be courageous, and be kind to yourself. You've got this.