Wellness Unplugged

The Art of Balance: Transforming Work, Marriage, and Happiness

• Brittany Ramunno

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Struggling to maintain work-life balance in the relentless corporate world? I’ve been there, and I’m here to share how setting boundaries transformed my life from one of chronic stress to prioritizing well-being. This episode dives into the mental and physical toll of overworking and why it’s crucial to reclaim your life from relentless demands. Learn how to shift from living to work to working to live, and discover actionable strategies to evaluate and improve your work-life balance.

Finding harmony in marriage and life is not just a dream, it’s a possibility. In this chapter, we’ll share the secrets to a happy marriage through balance and communication. From weekly dates to making sure you never go to bed angry, these small yet significant practices can strengthen your relationship. Hear about the importance of mutual respect and spending quality time together, even amidst the chaos of raising children. Learn how nurturing your partnership can set the foundation for a supportive and vibrant marriage.

Ever wondered how small daily changes could lead to significant happiness? This episode emphasizes the power of simple joys and strong relationships over financial worth. Uncover practical tips like using "The Love Dare" for a 40-day challenge to build unconditional love, or "The Adventure Challenge" for creating memorable, budget-friendly dates. Happiness isn’t dictated by your bank account or physical appearance but by taking small steps to nurture what truly matters. Join us to explore how to make your life joyful and fulfilling, regardless of your financial or physical status.

Love Dare Book
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Dare-Alex-Kendrick/dp/1433679590/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.1RMxpkNQucERlUl-rE4iAlwvBfYYOAbriIcqxV_ZeKg7sAn9cx5rRELgsXW5UauN39maNsq4taGW7a8OOZk--dxVqkUQH-70VHkILI__0QmpJSpizzAFHDC6R-F9pm0GtNcblT90bAtReBZ-EcAcfaMNhgyYtuvgcH8SSxnQ2ScKGPMObNCE2CQsKOeW7BrAgPEEgT_wUygtDAd5_g4FA2SykFQ7hZsjRaV_7YA0PJw.PimcSe1E_9F1YIzpZYAqyg_Cwasaxz07Ftxe_jhsmyQ&dib_tag=se&keywords=love+dare+book&qid=1717623655&sr=8-1

The Adventure Challenge
https://www.theadventurechallenge.com/

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Speaker 1:

Hey y'all, I'm your host, brittany Ramuno. Now, before you get too excited, thinking this is just another podcast about tracking macros and learning which new hot workout will finally make you love yourself, let me stop you there. This podcast exists to rip off the bandaid and go well beyond the superficial. Eat better, move more advice. Because, honestly, who really has their life together after nailing their macros? No one, that's who. And that's why wellness unplugged. I'm here throwing open the curtains of all the gnarly cringeworthy stuff we usually keep behind closed doors. So buckle up and get ready to get real. My friends, whether you're tuning in during a workout or hiding in your bedroom calling it a self-renewal break, I'm here with you. Let's unplug from the highlight reels and dive into the glorious, messy scope of adulthood. Welcome to Wellness Unplugged. I'm so glad you're here. All right, good afternoon, good morning.

Speaker 1:

You know I never know how to start this, but today's podcast isn't necessarily, probably something anyone wants to listen to, but we're going to talk about it anyway, because I find it fascinating. Not fascinating, maybe that's the wrong word, but we'll fly with that word. But I walked in to work the other day and well, it's really every day I go in and I really I look at everyone to see their expression and everyone's expression tends to be the same thing Like they're absolutely miserable. Going into work. I never see anyone happy, excited, smiling, nothing Like work is just a place to be miserable. And I always say misery loves company and I'm going to say the entire corporation is freaking miserable and I don't understand why. Well, I do. So. This is probably going to attack some people, but I've noticed, as coaching and I mentor people at work actually, and just you feel the need that oh, I have got to check my email and get everything that I need done ASAP, before I even get into work.

Speaker 1:

Or there's those that work past 5 o'clock, say you work a 9 to 5. There's a lot of people that work past 5 o'clock. They work past around the clock there's. I mean I get emails from my own teammates at 11 pm, 2 am, you know, 8 30 on a Friday night and I'm like why do you do this to yourself? Like why You're telling me that you play such a crucial role in a company that's got hundreds of thousands of people that you have to bend over backwards and give up time with your husband and your kids to respond to an email, like I don't get it. I mean I do get it because I was very, very, very guilty of this. Like I was a I worked, worked, worked, worked, worked. Like I climbed the corporate ladder as fast as I physically could. I did anything that I had to do I didn't care. So I get it to in a sense. But being with Joe, he has taught me over the years and I'm very stubborn, so it takes a while for anything to sink into my brain.

Speaker 1:

There are those that work to live and then there are those that live to work. And those that live to work are typically obese, over caffeinated, overstimulated, chronically stressed, depressed, have anxiety and just miserable in life. Like I have yet to see someone who's overworked that likes it, unless they're like a badass CEO of their own business, but then they have people to take care of them. Like that's another story. Um, and then those who work to live, like what I have tried to turn my my life into I work to live. I don't live to work anymore.

Speaker 1:

Um, in my day job I work my my nine to five, but you bet your ass at five o'clock. I'm done, I'm done. I don't care. I'm not checking my phone, I'm not checking my email, I am not responding to jack-niddly-squat, and if you do a meeting at four o'clock on a Friday, you're the devil.

Speaker 1:

Because I've learned again. It's been 10 years that my husband has had to beat this into my brain, so learn from my mistakes. But I've learned that work doesn't care if you're sick. Work doesn't care if you're stressed out, having a bad day, having a great day. Somebody just died your pet's sick. They don't care.

Speaker 1:

There's no healthy boundaries around a lot of people who live to work and those live to workers. I have conversations with them all the time and they feel attacked anytime. I tell them about themselves and I'm like I have one person who I'm very close with at work and I see her work around the clock and she's really great at what her, what she does, and I love her to death. But she's now had surgery, she's had a heart attack, all from the stress of work. She can't lose weight, she's miserable, um, and it's like I tell her. I'm like stop, just just stop. Like we need to have a new normal and the new normal is working our nine to five and leaving and stopping between nine and five.

Speaker 1:

If you are scheduled to work nine through five. You work nine through five, not eight to six, not seven to six. None of this extra bullshit. I don't care if you're hourly, I don't care if you're salary, I don't care if you're getting overtime, because what's really suffering is our mental health. What's really suffering is our marriages or our relationships with our kids. I can't tell you how many people I come in contact with on a daily basis who are absolutely miserable in their marriage basis, who are absolutely miserable in their marriage. And one way to run from that is typically to work. Because I've been in some miserable relationships and I know, hey, it's easy for me to work because it's easier for me to cut it out. I can cut out all of the negative and I'll just work myself to death. But that's not the way to live and it goes back to not seeing anyone smile in office, not anyone having playtime.

Speaker 1:

Like this is my real personality and, I kid you not, my feedback year over year on my year end and mid years are I have too much of a personality. I'm not miserable Like I walk into work because I freaking love my life. I love my husband, I love my kids, I love my dogs, my chickens, my ducks my everything, like I love the life that I've built. You Learn to set boundaries and say, okay, this is all I can get done between my nine to five, that's it. That's it. I'm done Because I need to take care of myself, I need to take care of my family and I need to take care of everything else, right? The doctors, the sports, the whatever. And I know moms who work around the clock, who ignore their kids because they feel they have to work and they have to get this done. And it's a people-pleasing personality. That, again, I've had to work through it. I get it.

Speaker 1:

But we need to start changing the narrative. We need to say no. And guess what If that forces the company to hire to make sure that there's an appropriate work-life balance? That's what they need to do and that's a them problem, not a you problem. And I find a lot of people find it hard to say no, which I get. You don't want to say no to your boss because, hey, it's your boss, but screw that, your boss doesn't care about your health. They're just trying to meet a quota or meet whatever they have to get done as well. Right?

Speaker 1:

There's always someone above you, and when we think of misery, loves company, then we're miserable at this job, say we can't stand our co-workers, we can't stand our boss, we can't stand where we work. Maybe we hate the drive to work, right? Maybe we hate all of these things and that misery that you trud into you then take home, because then you've been there all day and you're just miserable. So then you take that shitty, poor ass attitude home to your husband or wife or home to your kids and it prolongs. And if you're a mom, mom's moods dictate the house. If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. At least this is what my husband tells me. So if mom's miserable, guess who else is going to be miserable? The husband's going to be miserable, the son, the daughter, the dog Shit, the dogs are going to be miserable.

Speaker 1:

But we need to start doing things that make us happy. If that job say the job pays the bills and it's a great paying job and you're like Brittany, I can't quit a great paying job, I would rather you make nothing and love what you do than make money and be absolutely freaking miserable, right. Make money and be absolutely freaking miserable, right? Because I've always lived by if you love what you do, you never work a day in your life. It's that simple, but so many people are so bombarded with. I've got to make more money. I've got to make more money. I've got to make more money because I have to have these nice things and do these nice things to be able to post on social media, to, to brag, to whatever. You know, my kids go to the greatest private school, I'm going to six, seven vacations a year, I'm putting X amount of dollars in stocks or I'm buying a rental property.

Speaker 1:

Right, it's all around money. And guess what? We are the only ones that give money value. If we said a dollar didn't mean anything, it would no longer mean anything, nothing. And that goes into keeping up with the Benjamins and all of the things, right. So we need to stop being miserable. How do you not be miserable, brittany? Well, find a different job, and if there's a pay cut, there's a pay cut. We need to get out of thinking money rules the world and we need to get into a mindset of happiness rules the world, right? It's like I tell Joe all the time I would rather be broke and happy than rich and miserable, and I feel like a lot of people would rather be rich and miserable. Money can't buy you happiness. It can solve all your problems but it can't heal a mindset, it can't make you get loved by somebody and it can't fix you. Maybe it's a you problem. So we just we need to be happy.

Speaker 1:

And if you're miserable in your marriage because, let me tell you, I am surrounded by people I shit you not, I swear are miserable in their marriages 100%, I get all the time and Joe makes fun of me for it every time I meet, meet a new married couple and we go together and you know we talk about each other. The woman 99% of the time I meet a new married couple and we go together and we talk about each other. The woman 99% of the time. I bet you comes out of her mouth it's it must be nice, or I'm so jealous of you or you must be so lucky Because I have a husband that cooks, that cleans, that takes care of the kids.

Speaker 1:

He, he does all of the things that we don't have a 50 50 household. We have an 80 20, a 20 80,. Whatever he can give, I give the rest and vice versa. Like we have a very solid marriage and it's probably one of my biggest, best accomplishments in my entire life is a freaking healthy marriage, because my biological mom was married like eight times. She's like Ann Taylor, is that, who was married like eight or nine times. So I didn't have an example of a great marriage. I didn't have examples of healthy marriages.

Speaker 1:

But there's men who have to ask their wives for permission to play golf. Like why are we controlling our husbands like that? If the man wants to go play golf, just freaking, let him. He'll probably sort out whatever bad day he had, work through whatever he needs to work through and come back a much happier person, whether that he has gone two hours, four hours or six hours. We shouldn't be controlling our husbands and vice versa with the husbands. Y'all should not be controlling the wives because one we know women rule the economy. End of story. I will die on that hill. Women run the economy and two wife dictates the mood in the house. So you always want her happy, happy wife, happy life Best advice ever.

Speaker 1:

But we shouldn't be miserable in our marriages, right? That's a whole, nother freaking problem, whether it's a communication issue, a financial issue, a stress issue, unresolved child trauma issue, like life is too short to be miserable. It's too short to be miserable in your day-to-day job. It's too short to be miserable in your marriage. It's too short to have shitty relationships with your kids. Like. It's literally too short. Why do we put ourselves in the predicament to be miserable? Right, if you need to work on your marriage, start spending time with that person and get the fuck off of your phone. Instagram can wait. Facebook can wait. Whatever Candy Crush game, tiktok slide you're on it can wait.

Speaker 1:

Joe and I have multiple dates throughout the week. Tuesday nights we play golf. Wednesday nights we have salsa class. Thursday we play golf. Wednesday nights we have salsa class. Thursday we sauna together. And Friday night we're usually at the country club sipping on water on the rocks, just talking about our week, talking about how our day is, talking about how we feel about the day, talking about how we feel about the kids, how we feel about each other.

Speaker 1:

Right, communication is the foundation, and I think that's where a lot of marriages suck. One you don't spend time together because you think I've got to show up 100% for the kids, and let me tell you the one thing that I think my grandparents told me was, when the kids move out, your husband's all you have. So if you don't marry your best friend and you don't keep that fire alive. When your kids are gone, you're going to be miserable as hell, because that's all you have to look at every single day. Ta-da, you're welcome. There's my marriage advice of the day. But you can show up for your kids 100% of the time and 100% for your husband.

Speaker 1:

There is a delicate balance of making sure that you ask your husband how his day was. If you have a wife, ask your wife how her day is Every single day. Just do it and I bet your ass things would change. I love when he asks me about my day. He sometimes gets a meh or an, I don't know. Or it was shit, or it was great or meh. You know, sometimes it's long, drawn-out answers because I need a therapy session and sometimes it's short answers of it was good, how was yours?

Speaker 1:

But at the end of the day, if your wife is coming home miserable from her job or your husband is coming home miserable from his job, that mood is going to extend into your marriage and if you don't have the foundations and the communication set up and solidified, your marriage is going to crumble. You're going to start resenting that person and that person is going to change and then you're not going to like what that person does to change. Maybe they you're not going to like what that person does to change. Maybe they start going out more, maybe they start ignoring you more, maybe they start going on their phone more, right, and then we've got a problem, then we've got a divorce or a separation, or you just stay because it's easier to stay. You know I've heard the phrases. You know it's cheaper to keep her. But why? If you fell in love with the person and you married them and you said till death, do you part, let me tell you.

Speaker 1:

I tell Joe all the time. The only way he's leaving is through a casket six feet down. That's the only way he's getting out of this one. So he's till death, do us part. And he don't have a damn shame If he's mad. I tell him all the time. If you ever get mad at me because we have a rule in our house we don't go to bed angry. And if he goes to bed angry or even tries to, I'm like you can go sleep on the couch. I'll see you in the morning, and nine times out of 10, he's next to me. We're talking it out and we're figuring it out right. We don't go to bed angry, especially at one another, because then we sleep like shit and then your next day is like crap. I love my sleep too much, I prioritize that shit too much.

Speaker 1:

But misery, happiness it's. It's a lot easier to be happy than it is to be sad. Turn the frown upside down. It actually takes more muscles in your face to frown than it does smile. So I don't know why more people don't smile. And this is where I tell people fake it till you, freaking, make it right. There aren't instances where that context fits. If you don't feel like you're happy and you don't feel like you're smiling, and whatever, just smile. I dare you to just smile like all day, even if you don't want to, and I'm willing to bet the mood will change because the brain will recognize that you're smiling and then the serotonin and dopamine and you know the all of the happy hormones will eventually kick in and be like oh okay, that's a. Fake it till you make it type of thing. And if it doesn't happen that day, try again tomorrow, right? So if we've, if we've learned anything so far, ow, ow, I just totally hit my elbow If you're in a job that you don't like.

Speaker 1:

Find something that makes you happy. Find. Everyone should have three jobs in their life right, one that pays the bills, one that's creative and one that keeps you healthy. Right, I have my day job. I have coaching. I coach because it makes me thoroughly happy, like I get super excited to change someone's life. I don't coach for the money. I coach because it fills my cup, it makes me feel so happy and I'm so grateful that I finally listened to Joe and was like, all right, I guess we're going to do this. And then I have bodybuilding to do this. And then I have bodybuilding Keeps me in shape, ta-da.

Speaker 1:

But a lot of people don't have that and you need it. You don't need money to make you happy. You don't need a great paying job to brag, because if you're real friends, if you have real friends, they don't care what you make. They don't care if you drive a hoopty. They don't care if your car's broken down. I can't tell you how many times we've had crappy cars that have broken down on us. And I don't need the latest and greatest, and that's just because I grew up not having it, so I don't need it. If I get it, great If I don't great too.

Speaker 1:

But if I found a job, or if I was miserable at my job, hated it every single day, I would look to pursue something that makes me happy, and if that comes with a pay cut, it's as simple as rearranging your lifestyle. You don't need all the subscriptions. You don't need all of the name brand clothes or the name brand shoes or you know, louis Vuitton, prada, gucci. You don't need that shit, because guess what? Rich people wear, fucking Walmart. There's no shame in wearing Walmart.

Speaker 1:

If you've seen any of my stories, you know my favorite pair of sweatpants. They're a great pair. They have holes in them because I've worn them so much. I refuse to buy them because I don't need another pair. Until they absolutely are ripped up into shreds, I don't care. It's that simple. I can go from homeless to looking very, very fancy very quickly. But I'm very, very cheap, frugal, cheap, whatever. Nah, everything I do is done intentionally. Only because I've had my father pound into me of if you can't afford it in cash, if you don't have it in cash, you can't afford it. And if you can't afford it to buy it twice, you super can't afford it.

Speaker 1:

But back to misery, back to happiness. Back to you know, walking into your nine to five. If you have a job, like I said, if you have a job that makes you miserable and you carry that miserable tone and miserable attitude throughout the day, then your work declines. And then you resent your work and then you can't stand your co-worker who's getting all the awards because you hate your life and hate everything that you do. And then it carries over into your marriage and then it carries over into your marriage and then it carries over into your kids and your kids feed off of your energy. So if you've got kids, they could go from great performers to poor performers, literally based off of your job and your misery level, because misery loves company. It's that simple. So how do we break the cycle beyond changing a job? Right, maybe you can't change jobs right now because the economy sucks.

Speaker 1:

Set boundaries. If you're set to work seven to two, nine to five, seven to three, whatever hours you're dictated to work and don't pull that oh, I'm salary bullshit, so am I shut up Nine to five, work your nine to five. If you can't get it done, don't do it. So if you have something rolling in at like four o'clock at night and you're done at five, save it for the next day. There's no harm in pushing something off until the next day. You aren't going to lose your job if you miss an email and push it off to the next day, or a presentation for the next day, right. That comes back on to also time management. Like if you knew something was due and you just got a reminder at four o'clock and you forgot. That's another story. But push it off to the next day.

Speaker 1:

Stop checking your emails before you get into work, right. If you work from home or you work in the office but you have a laptop to work from home, don't check your emails in the morning. Like stupid shit. That's spiking your cortisol, stressing your body out and you wonder why. You're in a cycle of insanity, right, don't read your email at seven o'clock in the morning, just like. If something comes in at five o'clock and pass, don't read it. It can wait and hopefully one day everyone would get this picture and change this narrative to oh okay, I need to only work between nine to five and take my lunch breaks and take your breaks, because I know so many people, because I was very guilty of this. I never took a lunch break, or I never took like 15 minute breaks because they were irrelevant, because I was so back to back in meetings.

Speaker 1:

If that is, you carve out time on your calendar to go for a walk Show your calendar is busy or out of office for the hour of your lunch break and the two 15 minute breaks you get, carve it out and stick to declining any meeting that comes in that time and that's how you really start to change as well. So you can't change jobs. Start with boundaries, right, you go in a specific time, you leave at a specific time, then you take it to okay, I'm going to carve out that I'm going to take a lunch break every single, every single day. Carve that time out and then, once you get there, then you're going to say okay, I'm going to take this one step further and I'm going to start taking my two 15 minute breaks. Right, if you work I think it is eight or nine hours you get, I think, like a 30 minute lunch break or an hour lunch break, I don't freaking know, I can't remember anymore but you get 15 minute breaks too. Take them. They're there to be taken and so many people don't take them. And just by taking those breaks, you're able to pull away from your job, you're able to reset yourself. Maybe do some meditation during that, or go outside and walk or meditate or something other than think about work. Call your husband or your wife, say how's your day going. And that's how you start changing the cycle. Right. Start looking, use that time to look for a better job or a different job. There you go. You've got a toxic co-worker that you can't freaking stand. Start looking for another job in that lunch break hour. Right, can't freaking stand. Start looking for another job in that lunch break hour. Right.

Speaker 1:

There are things that we can do to not be stuck in a cycle. It's just people don't do them. Why, I don't understand. I really don't. Because they're easy things to do, just like when it comes to fitness and health. It's easy lifestyle changes that make the biggest difference.

Speaker 1:

So if you're miserable, how do you get happy? Do one thing for yourself every single day to fill your cup. I don't care what that is. Maybe it's coloring or doing a puzzle or a diamond painting my cousin's huge in diamond paintings. I can't stand them. I literally can't sit long enough to do them. I've tried. Um, or it's trying a new recipe or trying a new workout or something right. Do something every day that makes you happy. One thing doesn't have to be extravagant, doesn't need to cost money Self-care. A lot of the time is free, but start doing it and that's how you start changing misery to happiness. We need to get out of this misery thing and if you're around me and you come into contact with me and you know you're miserable, you know I've told you you're miserable because I am that type of person, unfortunately I will tell you about yourself. I'm not afraid to. But stop, change what you're doing. Small changes move big mountains. It can be that simple, it can be that hard.

Speaker 1:

So you've got a husband. Maybe you're miserable in your marriage. Start, like I said, start setting up time, schedule time. I don't care if you've got one kid, five kids, no kids. I've got four kids and we still manage to spend time together. We have done this for 10 years, right? So don't give me the excuse of oh well, I've got three babies at home and we don't have anyone to watch our kids. I don't care. That's an excuse and your excuse is bullshit. That's my tough love for the day.

Speaker 1:

If you want a marriage to work, you will make it work. If you don't want it to work, you won't make it work. Marriages are hard and it's harder than dating. It is 10 times harder and I think is. I think people get in their head that, oh, oh, I got him, he's mine, I got a ring on it, she's mine, and they forget to do all the work that they did up until they got married and it goes out the door. I don't care if you go for a five-minute walk around the block with a coffee and just talk about your day or talk about the grass or whatever house project you're working on or whatever. Just spend some time, Ask them about their day.

Speaker 1:

If you want really good book, what the hell is that book called? I tell everyone, especially my clients, if they're having like marriage troubles, it's called the burn book, maybe. Hold on, I'm googling this so sorry. Fireproof your marriage. I think it is. Hold on, damn it Fire. Yep, you're, you're gonna listen to me. Google this Fireproof book. It's a movie too. Oh, it's called the love dare book and the movie is absolutely beautiful.

Speaker 1:

Um, I sat and cried like a big baby, but the book is a 40 day challenge. It can be husbands, it can be wives. It can be boyfriends, girlfriends, fiancees, whatever, um, and it's 40-day challenge to understand and practice like unconditional love for your other half, whether your marriage is hanging on by a thread or if it's healthy and strong and you just want to try and make it stronger. Right, I've done the book. I'm not even going to lie. My husband probably doesn't realize that I've done it, but I did Because it starts out with like day one, say something nice.

Speaker 1:

Then it's like call them to ask how their day is or buy something that they wouldn't think of. It's a really cool 40-day challenge. So, even if you don't have marriage issues and maybe you just want to make it a little bit better, if you don't have marriage issues and maybe you just want to make it a little bit better, if you need date ideas, I have totally turned this into a marriage podcast. I'm so sorry. I love my marriage. We use and I tell everyone about this too. I'm trying to find the book Shit, what is that called? This is probably a horrible podcast episode, but it's okay.

Speaker 1:

It's like the date challenge. You scratch off all your dates, the adventure challenge. So they have the couples edition, they have the in-bed edition. My only advice is to make sure you get the camera. They have a mini dates version. They just came out with the quickies version. I have not tried that one. They have a dinner dates version and then they have a family edition that we're getting ready to start too, because I like to keep my kids in check because they're approaching these absolutely horrible, torrential high school times. Um, I like to make sure that we have a solid connection because I want my kids to to feel comfortable telling me anything and trust me. Sometimes I wish they held back. Um, but that's a cool thing to do. Uh, there's underground comedy shows, which I can put the link in the description. Um, but the the adventure challenge.

Speaker 1:

If you have no budget, it's easy things. If you have no babysitter, it has things in there for you too, like it has something for everyone. I think one. One section is called broke ass and it's five dollars and under um, but it is. It's super fun, it's super cool and it's a way for you not to have to think about what you're going to spend time doing, because, like I've said in previous episodes, I like to pay people to tell me what to do, because I don't like to think, so if it's as easy as me buying a 40 book and it's got about a hundred dates in it. It's really freaking cool. Um, I think I've gotten like 15 to 15 people to buy the book since I started it. It's great, um, but yeah, if you, if you want to start changing your outlook on life and perspective on life, use your vacation days, use your sick days, use your personal days.

Speaker 1:

I will tell you I have a family member who works himself to death. He refuses to take his vacation and he is absolutely miserable. Every time I talk to him and he's like I can't, you don't understand. I'm like I can, you choose not to? I understand that you don't want to use your time and then you want to complain that you're burnt out, can't handle life and don't want to deal with people because you've worked 300 days straight. Like, talk about boundaries, but be happy. Life is too short to be miserable. So if it's your job, if it's your husband, wife, kids, relationship, best friend, maybe you have a shit family that absolutely drives you nuts. Maybe you have a toxic ass family, because I do.

Speaker 1:

I've had to cut 90% of my family out of my life because they are so toxic, whether it's drugs, alcohol, negativity, insanity, literally Like I've had to cut people out of my life to protect my peace. And that's another problem with the world. Because there's the older generations that are like blood over water and blood's thicker than water and sometimes water's thicker than blood Because, let me tell you, you get my whole family in a room and you're going to need a psychiatrist times five, a police officer, you're going to need it all. But don't be afraid to cut out toxic people, whether that's your sister or your best friend of 10 years. If they're not serving you and making you happy and if they're not pushing you and making you happy and if they're not pushing you to grow and contributing to misery, they gotta go. And you shouldn't be afraid to have those difficult conversations and you should have those difficult conversations. Don't run from them. Don't keep someone around because you're afraid of not having them around. I would rather have no one around and be completely happy in my little rainbows and unicorns bubble than have so many friends that drain my everlasting mind. It goes into misery too, like it's more than a marriage. It's more than kids.

Speaker 1:

Now we're going to talk about friends and family and siblings and best friends and neighbors. God, if you've got toxic neighbors, don't deal with them either. I have one neighbor who's on the other side of me and, I kid you not, I cannot stand them to save my life. They nitpick of everything and I don't even know why they live in my neighborhood. They have no kids. Stop it.

Speaker 1:

But if your neighbors are draining you, I want you to look at your circle. Let's talk about this. I want you to look at the circle of people that are around you. Who do you come in contact with on a daily basis? Do they push you to grow, to be happy, to chase your dreams, to try new things, or do they keep you complacent? Do they just want to sit around a bonfire, drink all day and talk about the past? Right, I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but I'm not saying you should do that every single day either. Right? If they're not challenging you, if they're not making you happy, if they're not pushing you to fill your cup and be a better person, and even if it's in 1%, why do you have them around?

Speaker 1:

What is going wrong in your childhood or in your past that you need to have someone that's going to pull you down around you? Is it that you need to feel important, you need to feel like you have a lot of friends, because I would rather have three quality friends than 10 fake friends. Right, I just went from marriage to deep that quick, but I mean it all. It all plays a role. We shouldn't be. We shouldn't be freaking miserable why we need to stop it.

Speaker 1:

So if you've got someone draining you in your circle to where your energy is just down, cut them. If you have five friends that are alcoholics, you'll be the sixth. Or you could have five friends that are millionaires and you'll be the sixth. Your circle depends on it. Your circle is going to be your outcome. So if you don't like what your friends do for a living or have their marriages or their relationships with kids or what they have or whatever, they need to go. And if you're the smartest person in the room, you need to move rooms.

Speaker 1:

Right, this is about growth here. This is uncomfortable shit. Cut off toxic people. If your best friend of 10 years is, absolutely, every time you talk to her or text her, she pulls you down or she puts you in a miserable mood, tell her about herself or himself and move on. And if that moving on means, hey, we're no longer friends. Guess what? You're no longer freaking friends. You can find someone else out there that will give you the right energy, the right attention, the right momentum, the right determination, the right motivation. Right, let me tell you there's a lot of great people out there that you should not be wasting your time on toxic people because they've been around. Right, they've been around, that's great.

Speaker 1:

I have a legit handful of friends that I know I can call them, and they will pick up no matter what. They will protect me and my peace and they will respect my boundaries, no matter what my boundaries look like. Even if my boundaries say, hey, I need to be in bed by 730, they respect that, because if anyone's around me, they know my ass is in bed by eight. I play no games with my sleep. I love my sleep, but that's what your circle should look like. It should be inspiring, it should be motivational, it should be so, probably what you're not used to, but what you want your life to look like.

Speaker 1:

Right, I surround myself with people who are better than me, who have more than me, and I don't mind that. Like I have a good enough, I'm okay with myself, with a, with a ford focus, because that was our car. We had a ford focus and we lived in not so great areas. I mean we do now, but I mean my, my friends homes. My house fits in like their, their bedroom. I've seen some gorgeous houses and I'm just like, oh my God, how do how do people, how how do people afford this? I'm so confused. But I mean that's because I don't want to be the smartest person in the room. I don't mind being broke, I don't mind being poor, I don't mind people judging me for me not having the greatest things, guess what. I am so goddamn happy. It makes other people absolutely sick.

Speaker 1:

That's what I have on so many people and that's what I carry through me and that confidence of I know I'm secure in my marriage, I'm secure with my kids, I'm secure with my lifestyle. I'm okay. Right, I don't need the greatest. Would it be nice? Absolutely, would I like to book a vacation once a month? Absolutely, can I afford that? Absolutely not. Do I have friends around me that can? Absolutely? My neighbor asked me to go to Turkey. I was like, oh, for a girl's trip. I'm like kind of can't swing that one, but sounds great, have fun.

Speaker 1:

But I'm okay and I think we need to get to that level, too, of being okay and understanding where we are in society and where we are in life, that things can only get better and you're working towards getting better, just like with your health, right? You're not happy with where things are with your health and fitness and you're going to make baby steps to change. That Goes the same as happiness, end of story. We need to get into a happier mindset, a happier place. We need to remove toxicity, we need to remove negativity. We need to put a smile on our face, bake it till you make it. Sometimes we need to take our lunch breaks, our 15-minute breaks, check in with ourselves, check in with our spouses, check in with our kids.

Speaker 1:

Right, it is possible to be happy. Broke, poor, rich, millionaires, whatever. You can be happy, no matter what value you bring dollar value you bring into your bank account. That shouldn't dictate your happiness, just like a weight shouldn't dictate your happiness and self-worth, right. So, guys, if you've learned anything today or if this has resonated with you and you need to take a change and make a change, let me know If you know someone who needs to make a change and listen to this, because it's probably got some hard-hitting hits, forward it out, share it and until next time, guys, I appreciate you listening to my rant. I hope I didn't ruffle too many feathers and if I did, maybe it was time. Maybe you needed to hear this. And have a great day, guys.