Emotionally Focused Family Therapy: What Your Child Is Really Asking for When They Fall Apart — Kathryn de Bruin & Ronda Evans

When your child is at their most dysregulated — melting down, shutting down, pushing you away — the moment they need you most is also the moment it's hardest to be present. Why does that happen? And what does it actually take to become the safe place your child is reaching for?

In this episode Michelle sits down with two of the most experienced Emotionally Focused Family Therapy clinicians working with families today. Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer, registered Play Therapy Supervisor, and co-host of The Family Therapy Express Podcast. Ronda Evans is an EFT Supervisor, co-host of The Family Therapy Express Podcast, and published children's book author whose books — A Jumble of Thoughts and A Tangle of Feelings and The Big Scary Moment — help families navigate big emotions together in everyday moments.

Together, Kathryn and Ronda bring the full depth of Emotionally Focused Family Therapy to a conversation about what children are really communicating when their behavior is at its most challenging — and what parents need to understand about their own internal world to be able to respond with steadiness and connection rather than reactivity.

In this episode you'll learn:

• The core EFFT reframe: why your child's meltdown, power struggle, or withdrawal is an attachment signal — a reaching for you — even when it looks like the opposite
• How the way you were raised shows up in your responses to your child's big feelings — and what shifts when you recognize that pattern
• Why play is not just a fun activity but a genuine clinical tool for healing and strengthening the parent-child bond
• What Ronda's children's books offer families in the ordinary moments of everyday life — and what happens between parent and child when they read them together
• What a genuinely resilient and connected family looks like — and the signs you're moving toward it even when it doesn't feel that way
• What Kathryn and Ronda would say to the parent who keeps missing the moments that matter and can't seem to get there when it counts

Topics: Emotionally Focused Family Therapy · EFFT · Emotionally Focused Therapy for families · child attachment · attachment parenting · parent-child connection · child meltdowns · big emotions in children · emotional regulation for parents · play therapy · children's books about emotions · parenting triggers · gentle parenting · peaceful parenting · conscious parenting · family resilience · parent burnout · connection over control · parenting shame

Guests: 

Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT — ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer & Play Therapy Supervisor 🌐 kathryndebruin.com

Ronda Evans, LMFT — EFT Supervisor & Children's Book Author 📚 A Jumble of Thoughts and A Tangle of Feelings· The Big Scary Moment 🌐 re2therapy.com

🎙️ The Family Therapy Express Podcast — find it wherever you listen

🎓 Ready to go deeper? Yelling to Connecting — Michelle's 7-week online parenting course helps you find and uproot the real blocks keeping you stuck so you can respond to your kids with more calm, more connection, and less shame. ✨ Free Guided Pause + Regroup: [your link] 🌐 compassionateheartmindfullife.com

This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. Compassionate Heart Mindful Life does not provide psychotherapy services.

Join me each week for a tail from the trenches of parenting burnout and how I (and you) can use mindfulness, mediation and self-compassion to find your inner calm and a little more sanity in your parenting.

You’ll get a story from my heart and a quick win you can use the same day.

A free gift for you: the RAGE Break, a free guided audio pause for when you are about to lose or have just lost it with your kids and you need a moment to regroup. Find the audio download in the links. I created the Rage Break because it is exactly what I needed when I was struggling with anger and yelling in parenting. 

This story was brought to you by “Yelling to Connecting.”  If you or someone you know struggles with yelling at your kids, losing it, or being constantly on edge this course will be a helpful tool. 

A reminder: This content is intended for educational purposes only and should not be used as a replacement for private psychotherapy services. Compassionate Heart Mindful Life does not provide psychotherapy services in any capacity.

I am a therapist but I am not your therapist and this is not therapy and should not be a substitute for mental health treatment. If you need mental health treatment please find a qualified professional in your area.

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