98. From Invisible to Unforgettable: 5 Birth Branding Lessons Every Doula Needs to Hear

This episode kicks off a brand-new series on the Six Figure Doula Podcast all about visibility, personal branding, emotional connection, and what actually makes doulas unforgettable online.

I’m breaking down why being the “best” doula doesn’t automatically make you visible...

I’m talking about:

•  Why I think the doula industry has an “optimization addiction” 
•  The reason some doulas are unforgettable online while others blend into the background 
•  The moment I stopped trying to sound like my mentors and finally leaned into my own voice 
•  How my background in dance, sales psychology, and storytelling shaped my brand 
•  Why different creates emotional memory, and emotional memory creates clients 

This episode is vulnerable, bold, and probably a little uncomfortable at times… but it’s the conversation I think the birth world desperately needs.

Because your future clients cannot choose the version of you they cannot clearly see.

And they definitely cannot remember the version of you that sounds like everybody else.

✨ And if you want help figuring out how your brand is actually coming across online, I’m offering my

 FREE IG Bio Audit where I personally review:

•  your positioning 
•  your messaging 
•  your clarity 
•  and your first impression 

Spots are limited because I personally do these myself, so grab yours before they’re gone.

Click here to get my eyes on your IG bio!

Struggling to grow your doula business? Tired of chasing pregnant mothers online? Imagine effortlessly attracting your dream clients and consistently generating a steady income month after month. 

⬇️ START HERE ⬇️

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FREE video guide: Book Out Your Doula Calendar With These 3 Questions
Learn more about Six Figure Doula

Transcript

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And this took me longer than I would like to admit to leverage myself because being different is terrifying. The second you become recognizable, you become judgeable. The second you start to show your true personality, there will be people out there who will not like you. And the second you get really hyper-specific, you're gonna stop appealing to everyone. And women are deeply, deeply conditioned to avoid that. Especially women in caregiving roles. We are taught to be agreeable and careful. And so what happens is women build brands that are emotionally safe, but that makes them strategically invisible. Welcome to the Six Figure Doula podcast. This is where confidence becomes currency. If you're a birth worker who's ready to stop overthinking, stop undercharging, and start leading like you mean it, then you're not here by accident. Every week we talk sales without the ick, money without shame, and building a business that actually holds you and your clients. Welcome home, doula. I was scrolling Instagram the other day and I had this moment where I thought to myself, oh my goodness, every doula sounds exactly the same. And why are we not asking ourselves, like, okay, why do we have some doulas over here becoming unfreaking forgettable and other doulas over here who are posting constantly and remain invisible? And I'll tell you right now, the women who are getting booked consistently are the ones that the mothers remember. They are the ones who are willing to actually be seen online instead of hiding behind being likable. And I think a lot of doulas are accidentally sanding down the very parts of themselves that would actually make more moms trust them. And it makes me so sad. So today I want to kickstart a personal branding series based on some seriously powerful lessons that completely change the way I think about visibility and the way that I see content and building trust and a business that families actually remember. Because moms do not hire the doula that they saw one time in a Facebook group. They hire the doula they can't stop thinking about. And one of the most damaging things that I think social media has done to entrepreneurs is convince them that success belongs to the best. But I don't think that's true at all. If that were true, there would be thousands of wildly successful doulas right now making multiple six figures simply because they are incredible at birth work or they have the best outcomes, the best stats, or they've been doing it the longest. That's not what we're seeing, though. We are seeing incredibly talented doulas barely getting inquiries. And then we're seeing other doulas with less experience getting remembered and shared and referred and booked out. So being the best does not automatically make you visible. Being memorable is the thing that will do that. And those are two different things that need to be talked about. And I also feel strongly about the idea that the doula industry has this like optimization addiction. So I swear, like some doulas spend their entire business trying to become more impressive on paper, whether that's another certification, another training, a specialization, a new website, another freebie, more letters after their name. And listen, I am not anti-education. I'm obsessed with education. But there truly comes a point where becoming better is just hiding. Because improving feels like the productive thing, but visibility feels like the vulnerable thing. And that's why so many birth workers stay stuck in optimization mode forever. Because perfecting your website is emotionally safer than posting a strong opinion online. Let's face it. Reworking your childbirth ed curriculum for the 19th time is a hell of a lot safer. It's gonna really calm your nervous system compared to saying something that might actually polarize women online. And I think a lot of doulas are secretly hoping that credentials will compensate for a lack of identity or a lack of confidence. And that one's probably gonna get me into some trouble for sharing that thought with you, but it's something I know that I have to just come out and say because people do not remember credentials. People remember people. And I genuinely think that a lot of doulas are trying too hard to sound respectable. And when they're doing that, they erase themselves. They become so neutral and so careful that there's absolutely nothing emotionally sticky about them. There's nothing distinct. And the doulas that are out there winning right now are the most emotionally recognizable. They've got a point of view, they show their personality, they're in a rhythm, they have presence. It's an energy. You remember them. This is true in every industry. Across the board. Do you think people remember Rachel Reed because she sounds watered down or universally agreeable? Hell no. People remember her because she's bold and direct, she's unapologetic, and she's willing to challenge the system publicly. What about Dr. Sue? Dr. Sue doesn't blend in. Absolutely not. He's remembered because he's convicted, he's calm under pressure, he's willing to say things a lot of providers will not say. And people always remember energy. Notice I did not say perfection, I said energy. I think Doolas massively underestimate how much emotional memorability matters in this industry. Birth is emotional, motherhood is emotional, decision making in pregnancy, emotional. I also want to point out that memorability often comes from contrast. And different is what truly creates that emotional memory. And emotional memory is what creates the referrals and the trust and the direct messages and the conversions. Think about it. Humans are very emotional creatures. People remember what interrupts the pattern, which is why I tell doulas all the time if your content sounds exactly like everybody else's, your audience brain stops noticing you. And it has nothing to do with the quality. Doesn't mean that your content is bad, but there's no contrast. And I want to kind of share a piece of my own story to drive this point home and help you wrap your head around it and kind of share a lesson that changed the trajectory of my life, to be honest. And I think it really speaks to this notion. There was a point where I was the student. I came into this world. I became a doula and I started following Kylie Banks. I was watching her, I was absorbing, I was studying, listening. And over time, something really interesting happened. I shifted. I shifted in that identity and our relationship. I went from her student to her friend and then to her lead salesperson inside of her company selling her offers and eventually became the only coach inside of her community for a long period of time. And I remember having this realization during that season. And the reason that I was becoming successful had nothing to do with the fact that I was trying to become Kylie. It was because I stopped trying to replicate someone else's identity and I started leaning harder into my own. That is really big. It was a massive realization because I think women unconsciously think success means become like that mentor, become like that guru. But if I had stayed in like imitation mode forever, I probably would have just disappeared. And that's what happens to so many creators online. They absorb everyone else's voice so deeply that they slowly lose access to their own. This is real. You can see it happening all around you if you notice and pay attention. Everybody starts to sound the same. We're using the same phrases in this industry, the same hooks, the same educational language. And at some point I realize my edge was never going to be becoming a copy of someone else. My edge was my intensity, my sales psychology, and my sales background, my sarcasm, my dancing, my emotional honesty, my ability to hold attention, my ability to connect under the surface, my willingness to say things others were afraid to say, share things others would rather hide from, my shadow self, things that I hate about who I am, that became the lane. And eventually that lane became doula mentorship. And it wasn't like I strategically manufactured a niche. It literally organically happened because I stopped sanding myself down. And I will tell you that when I am working with a client and we are in those very early stages, almost always these women come to me approaching branding like they are building a resume. And they're leading with I trained over here with so-and-so. I'm certified in X. I offer physical and informational support. I've attended X amount of births. And again, none of those things are bad, but none of those things tell me who you are. And inevitably, we have to have a conversation, a deep conversation around how pregnant women are not choosing doulas based on their credential list. They're choosing based on resonance. They are asking themselves, do I align with what she's all about? That decision is emotional. It has nothing to do with logic at that point. And emotional decisions are driven by identity and feeling, not the accolades. So let's talk about the risk. Let's talk about why more of us doulas, especially in those early stages, don't do this. And this took me longer than I would like to admit to leverage myself because being different is terrifying. The second you become recognizable, you become judgeable. The second you start to show your true personality, there will be people out there who will not like you. And the second you get really hyper-specific, you're gonna stop appealing to everyone. And women are deeply, deeply conditioned to avoid that. Especially women in caregiving roles. We are taught to be agreeable and careful. And so what happens is women build brands that are emotionally safe, but that makes them strategically invisible. And I think some doulas are terrified that if they fully show up as themselves online, they will actually lose credibility. But the opposite is true. So questions that you have to sit with are are you willing to occupy space unapologetically, not perfectly, but fully? I also think that we would be crazy to have this conversation without addressing that the doula industry heavily rewards good girl behavior. Don't rock the boat, don't sound too salesy, don't be too loud over mom's voice, don't be too confident, don't make anyone uncomfortable, don't call her out. And this one is very much likely subconscious. Like I think a lot of women are unconsciously trying to build businesses while still being emotionally rewarded for shrinking. But memorable women don't shrink, it's not even an option for them. And I am not saying go out there and be obnoxious. What I am saying is go out there and be fully expressed. I believe in my soul there is a massive difference. When someone is fully expressed, you feel it. You remember them. This right here was actually my biggest dance unlock. It wasn't until I was in my damn 30s that I really figured this out. So I'm talking like after performing pre-professionally, after graduating from a Bachelor of Fine Arts program, it was not until I started taking class with my now two very dear friends who turned into my dance mentors, whose magnetic message is this. It does not matter if you can replicate the choreography. It does not matter if you can perfect the technique and have all the counts perfect, right? What matters is that who you are at your core is coming through, is fully expressed in your movement. You are telling your story, you are moving with your own nuance and vibe, and no one can take that from you. And outside of the studio, so like inside the world of social media and online marketing, that looks like your perspective, your voice, your embodiment, your identity. It is the feeling mothers get when they follow you. And I want you to sit with the idea: if someone removed my name from my Instagram post, would they still know it was me? What do women emotionally associate with me? Am I building a recognizable presence or am I trying to sound correct? What parts of myself have I been suppressing to seem more professional or more legit? The good news, and I sincerely hope this offers you relief because I know it did for me, is that all you have to do right now is become the most unmistakably you because in a sea of sameness, different wins every single time. And the real struggle is when your content, when your page doesn't communicate who you are, your positioning is feeling vague, your personality is missing, and that first impression falls flat. If your Instagram bio could belong to 50 other doulas in your city or 50,000 across the globe, you've got a problem. So I am offering a handful of my free Instagram bio audits. I am bringing this back out of request after request after request, and I'm very excited about it. Inside of this audit, I will personally review your Instagram bio, your messaging, your positioning, that first impression, your clarity, your memorability so that you can stop sounding like every other doula out there and you can start becoming someone that your future clients actually remember. And because I personally do these audits myself, I'm only offering 10 per month. So if you want one, grab your spot before they are gone. Because your future clients cannot choose the version of you that they cannot clearly see. And they absolutely, definitely cannot remember the version of you that sounds like everybody else.