House of JerMar

I See You: Make More, Have More, Be More - Without More Work

• Jeanne Collins • Season 1 • Episode 27

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The insightful author of "I See You: A Guide for Women to Make More, Have More and Be More - Without More Work," Amy Kemp, joins us to share her incredible journey from teaching high school English to leading a vast sales team and now empowering women through her own coaching business. Amy reveals how identifying and changing subconscious thought habits can transform your personal and professional life. We explore her use of the Habit Finder assessment to guide women in overcoming feelings of isolation and exhaustion, especially in balancing the demands of career and family. Amy’s story is one of empowerment, aligning passions with purpose, and the profound impact a positive mindset can have on achieving your goals.

Unpaid labor's critical role and the art of setting boundaries are key themes we address, shedding light on the disproportionate burden carried by women and the necessity of valuing this work. We talk about how establishing boundaries isn't about building walls but about creating healthy spaces for growth. As Amy says, "Boundary setting is a way of life".

Amy's book provides actionable steps the reader can take to uncover how to be seen and make more without working harder. This is a must read!

Amy's book recommendation:
The Illusion of Money: Why Chasing Money is Stopping You From Receiving It by Kyle Cease

More About Amy:
Amy Kemp is the owner and CEO of Amy Kemp, Inc. In her work within this growing company, Amy helps leaders and business professionals understand how deeply thought habits impact every part of their work and lives.
 
As a certified Habit Finder coach, Amy has led over 400 female business leaders through a four-month small group engagement called Encounter. This experience is designed to help clients replace subconscious thought habits that are no longer serving them with more healthy ones. She has worked through the Habit Finder curriculum with hundreds of leaders in one-on-one settings and with leadership teams at small and large companies. 
 
In addition, Amy teaches two engaging online courses each year in the fall and spring that are designed to challenge and expand her clients’ understanding of themselves and to welcome new, curious people into the scope of her work. Some of the most popular topics in her library of offerings are “Money Is a Mirror” and “A Boundary Is Not a Wall.” 
 
Finally, with the launch of her first book, I See You: A Guide for Women to Make More, Have More, and Be More – Without More Work, on February 29, 2024, Amy has created an opportunity for everyone to learn and engage with her and the principles that guide her coaching.
 
You can learn more about Amy and her body of work at www.amykemp.com. 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amykempinc
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amykempinc
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/amykempinc

House of JerMar:
Learn more on our website: houseofjermar.com.

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Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: youtube.com/@Houseofjermar

Read Jeanne's Book: Two Feet In: Lessons From and All-In Life

WELCOME TO OUR HOUSE!

Speaker 1:

The core message of the book is that you can't outwork your thought habits, and the reason I know that to be true is because I tried Right and I believe that if anyone could have done it, it would have been me. I mean, I'm not lacking in work ethic or willingness to sacrifice for a goal or a mission or a vision, but I came to a point where I couldn't work any more or any longer or any more hours without sacrificing the time that at that time, when the turning point really happened, my kids were. I call it the Uber era of parenting, where no one can drive but everyone's in things.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes.

Speaker 1:

You're just. There's a lot happening, there's an intensity of parenting that felt important and it felt like I wasn't willing to miss it, and so I knew something had to change. But it couldn't be more work, and so that something became someone that needed to change, and that was me.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to the House of Germar podcast, where wellness starts within. The House of Germar is a lifestyle brand, empowering women to live all in through interior design and personal wellness. We are a destination for women ready to reimagine what is possible in their homes and lives and then create it. We are honored to have you join us on our mission to empower 1 million women to live all in. I am your host, jean Collins, and I invite you to become inspired by this week's guest.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to the House of Germar podcast, where wellness starts with it. I'm your host, jean Collins, and today's guest is the author of a book that I will tell you is one of the best books I have read in so long. So I am so excited to have Amy Kemp on the show to talk to you guys. She wrote a book called I See you. I listened to it, I read it, I've taken notes, I've actually taken action steps based on her book, so I am so excited to bring her to you guys. She also is a coach. She helps people understand the habits of their lives and how it impacts their work in their lives. So I am so excited to talk to Amy about so many subjects. So, amy, welcome to the House of Jermar podcast.

Speaker 1:

I'm thrilled to be here. I can't wait for this conversation.

Speaker 2:

Ah, thank you so much, and so for everyone, we are recording this the day after the election, so I just commend Amy. You got up, you got dressed, you put on your makeup, you're looking great, and we're going to focus on the things that we can impact in our lives, which is ourselves, our network, our friends, our family, our clients, and focus on the goodness and wellness within. So thank you for showing up today. I'm here and I see you and I do. Your book title is so amazing. So before we get into your book and your coaching business and what you do, I would love to share a little bit about your journey, because you talk about it in the book and I think it's really inspiring and interesting how you got to where you are today. So if you could share a little bit with the audience about you know, what's your journey to get here, I would love to.

Speaker 1:

I will tell you. My professional journey started as a high school English teacher, where I worked for five years and loved that work and thought I would do it forever. But on the side started a small business that grew for over almost 25 years into an organization of over a thousand women across the United States. I was leading a sales team of over a thousand people.

Speaker 2:

That's a big job. Let's just pause there for one second it was a big job Like you just said it so subtly. It was For 25 years, a big job. Let's just pause there for one second. It was a big job, like you just said it so solidly, for 25 years, a thousand people. It's not so funny to say it out loud because you think oh, that really did happen.

Speaker 1:

The interesting thing about it is that the work I've done in each space is actually or the thing that has lit my soul on fire in each space is the same Whether I was teaching high school, leading a team of salespeople, and then now in my latest professional iteration, which Amy Kemp Inc. My business is now seven years old. It was an accidental business that I started without any hint of a long-term strategic plan. I actually am not even sure I knew I was starting a business, but I did know who I was serving and what they needed. I was very clear about women who were feeling isolated, overworked, overwhelmed, exhausted by the demands of both their careers but also their home lives. That part, and in every creative process, even in writing the book, there were times where I wavered or felt unsteady. In the creative process I never felt unsteady when I was looking, even in my eyes I'm closing my eyes because I'm imagining it but looking into the eyes of my readers and my clients, then I feel exceptionally clear and grounded and on purpose.

Speaker 1:

So the work I do within Amy Kemp Inc. I use an assessment tool called the Habit Finder. It's a free assessment actually that you can take and it measures your subconscious habits of thinking and there's a curriculum that corresponds with it. And so I work with people one-on-one and in small groups, where we are identifying the subconscious habits of thinking that are creating noise in their head that is preventing them from creating that can be creating a business, a career, a family, a relationship, whatever it is that you want to create in your life, and so this work has felt very sacred and very aligned with what really I love most, which is the development of people.

Speaker 2:

It is so great. Oh, my goodness. So I have so many questions. First question for you is they always say you're best positioned to serve the person that you want to work.

Speaker 1:

So do you feel like you were that target audience that overworked, really busy executive and mom and you were what your target audience is now busy executive and mom, and you were what your target audience is now. Yes, and the core message of the book is that you can't outwork your thought habits, and the reason I know that to be true is because I tried Right and I believe that if anyone could have done it, it would have been me. I mean, I'm not lacking in work ethic or willingness to sacrifice for a goal or a mission or a vision at all, but I came to a point where I couldn't work any more or any longer or any more hours without sacrificing the time that at that time, when the turning point really happened, my kids were. I call it the Uber era of parenting, where no one can drive but everyone's in things.

Speaker 1:

So, you're just. There's a lot happening, there's an intensity of parenting that felt important and it felt like I wasn't willing to miss it, and so I knew something had to change. But it couldn't be more work, and so that something became someone that needed to change, and that was me.

Speaker 2:

That's really powerful and I do love you talk about in your story because I think as women we struggle with the finances behind these big, busy careers that we build and I know for myself personally. You know I got fired from my job but would not have voluntarily left, even though I was miserable and it was killing me because of the money and because of feeling I'm never going to be able to make this money any other way, or almost not feeling worthy of the money that you do make and not sure someone else is going to see your value or your worthiness and pay you in a different position versus the one you have now. So you talk a lot about money in your book. Can we go there for a minute? And then I'm going to go back to something else.

Speaker 1:

I love to talk about money, money, and actually the chapter in the book is called Money is a Mirror, but, like you said, there are themes of money sprinkled throughout, because money is such a great reflection of so many things. It gives us such great information if we pay attention to it and observe it. Our relationships with money are complicated and they're very connected to our feelings of worthiness, to our level of, for example, you will generate the level of income that you believe you are worth. Now you can hide from that when you're an employee, sometimes, right.

Speaker 1:

You really get to know and experience that firsthand, up close and personal, when you are an entrepreneur. You sure do If you work on any kind of commission-based variable income structure. Then you really get to experience. In fact, I've seen so many women leave a traditional job where pick any number that they were earning. The number is arbitrary. They will move to an entrepreneurial space where their income potential is unlimited and they will figure out a way to make almost the exact amount that they just left behind.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And to maintain that the only way to really change that level of earning is to do some deeper work on yourself. I always say that personal growth always precedes professional growth.

Speaker 2:

And.

Speaker 1:

I think that there's no shortcut. You can circumvent it for a short time, but you'll end up back at, kind of, your waterline eventually so money is just a really fascinating representation of a lot of things.

Speaker 2:

It's an inanimate object that we assign a lot of value to oh yes, oh yes, and we give it so much power that it doesn't, we give it so much power in our lives and it controls so many of our decisions, especially as women.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I think also we put a lot of qualifiers as women on our income. I'm not experienced enough, I don't know if I'm educated enough. I need to get another certification. That person probably knows more than I do. I don't see those same hesitations with most men. They're sort of jump in and figure it out. And I'm not really even saying that with being critical, I'm just saying it as a fact. I've watched it happen so many times. I wish that we had a little, maybe just fewer conditions on our readiness for more income and we would be more willing to just take a leap and figure it out. I also do think we put some limitations where I don't want that higher position or that role because I think that I will have to work more or that's the only way I'm going to earn more. Is that I have to work more? Yes, and I'm not. I'm not sure that's always true, but it is a narrative that we tell ourselves.

Speaker 2:

Oh yes, and you talk about that continually in your book. Yeah, about that continually in your book, and that is just as a proposition for life is very intriguing. This idea that you can make more without necessarily working more. It's you know it's sort of work smarter, not harder, kind of concept, but you bring it down to a very practical level.

Speaker 1:

I just got a text from a client two days ago and it said I just got promoted and then it was like all you know, a bunch of fun emojis.

Speaker 2:

I get to be the recipient of a lot of fun calls like that right.

Speaker 1:

But then she said um, I am earning over two hundred thousand dollars for the first time in my life, and like I'm. I'm, my breath is taken away, and she said and this is the important part, and I'm working about five hours a day- oh, my goodness. I'm able to spend my afternoons with my child, fully present, you know, and this is actually like a traditional job. This is not an entrepreneurial role that she has Right sure.

Speaker 1:

Yes, but it was more at the beginning, when we started working together. Her income was about a third of that and I would say the narrative was I don't want the higher level position because I will have to work more and sacrifice, and what happened is as she grew in her boundary setting. And what happened is as she grew in her boundary setting in her understanding of her value.

Speaker 2:

the income grew along with the opportunities, but she didn't focus on that.

Speaker 1:

She was focusing on growing herself and that everything that I love to talk about.

Speaker 2:

Oh, my goodness, I want to get a text like that every day, every day. It's so fulfilling and rewarding. And also it's fulfilling and rewarding knowing that the things that you're doing and the coaching that you're doing and the lessons and the tools that you're giving to people are helping. They are changing people's lives for the good, and that's so rewarding.

Speaker 1:

Can I ask you, Jean, what from the money messaging in the book stood out to you Like what spoke to you specifically?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so the money is a mirror thing, which was so funny because I was looking through my journal the other day and I had all these pages about money is a mirror, but I couldn't remember that that came from your book. I was like I know I read about this somewhere and I had journaled about the mirror part of that money and one of the things I can say that I actually changed my personal narrative on because I came from a very high paying corporate job. You know stock options. When you have stock options, you're making money that you can't. It is very hard to replicate in the entrepreneur world, especially when you're a solopreneur, because you're only one person. There are only so many hours of you to create an output, and so I've been an entrepreneur now for four years and wouldn't trade it for anything. I absolutely love everything that I do. I'm not like that person who's at the same level that they were in corporate America, because I don't have stock in my own company. So it doesn't work that way.

Speaker 2:

And I changed my narrative after that journaling session to really be like wait a minute, I need to, instead of feeling like I'm just not there yet. And that was one of I did the your habit finder. I did do that and that is a sentence that's in there Like I'm just I'm not where I want to be financially yet and I was like, oh, let's put that one all the way up towards the top. And then when it came back, you know, my worthiness and my money thing were like red, red alert, alert, you need to address these issues. I'm like I'm your perfect client.

Speaker 2:

But anyway, one of the things that I found that I changed was changing the narrative. Instead of feeling like I don't have enough or I'm not there yet, and like you have this destination, this journey, and you're'm not there yet, and like you have this destination, this journey, and you're just not there yet, to being incredibly grateful that I have the savings that I have that allow me to even be on this path, because if I didn't have that, I wouldn't be able to be the investor in my own business, and I am my sole investor. And so if I didn't have that savings, which came from that big corporate job, I wouldn't be able to do that. And so I kind of have tried to switch my narrative more towards the gratitude of what that past life has given me financially to allow me to invest in myself and allow me to invest in my business and invest in this journey and recognize it is a journey.

Speaker 2:

So, instead of having like lack in the mirror, it's more about gratitude and thankfulness.

Speaker 1:

Has it been difficult to extricate the feeling of I would have to work like that again, to make that again.

Speaker 2:

Oh, a hundred percent. I mean because that's one of the things it's like I don't, I don't want to work like that anymore and that is I journal about it all the time. Because one of the things I do have now, which I talk about and I teach classes in, is about life, work balance, and I you talk about it in your boundaries chapter. I have that balance now. I do not want to get up and start working at eight o'clock in the morning. I get up, I make my tea, I spend time with the dogs, I journal, I meditate, I exercise, and that routine is what fuels me and makes it so I can go, go, go during the rest of the day. And I think once you get a taste of that balance and that life and that time to give to yourself, you don't want to go back to those't do anything but work and your family becomes your work friends and that's not necessarily the right family for you to have.

Speaker 1:

I would also say in your narrative I see this kind of story arc a lot Corporate job, high paying, super crazy hours, stressful entrepreneur, very flexible, but not earning what you really want to earn. Yet Okay, chapter three, we'll say to me, is keeping both. It's like how do I reintroduce the level of earning along with the quality of life?

Speaker 1:

That's the third iteration, but you've got to walk the journey. Can't like skip steps usually, but I do think there's a lot of healing that has to happen around, or a lot of belief work around, what it takes to earn that amount of money.

Speaker 2:

Right, you're right, it does.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's just interesting because even your narrative at the beginning was solopreneur.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Does that make I can't do you know like there's a lot of lack there.

Speaker 1:

I want to be like I know you're like don't do that.

Speaker 2:

Right. That's why I'm perfect for this podcast. It's about you, you get to shine out what you do. It's so normal Using me. Yeah, it's so normal.

Speaker 1:

What you're experiencing. It's so common also, uh, and I do think it is the journey of healing that you're on, that you can't rush yeah, so it is a journey, yes, you're right.

Speaker 2:

so, speaking of journey, how did you decide you wanted to write a book? Now, obviously, since you were an english teacher, writing comes very naturally to you, but writing a book and putting your life because you have lots of stories about your life in your book out, there is a a lot that's very vulnerable. So how did you get to becoming an author?

Speaker 1:

I love the books, I love all the books. I love fun books, I love children's books, I love business books. I mean, I just love books. So words and books have always been a passion. You'll rarely see me without a stack, just in case I don't have the right one that I want to read at that time. But I believe that worlds I think worlds change because of words and I cherish the use of words. I think the language that we use and choose is very important, and so writing a book has been a lifelong dream.

Speaker 1:

And finally, I had the. Actually I'll say this in case there are moms listening my kids got old enough where I had more time and energy. Yeah, if you are in a really intense season of parenting or caretaking of any kind right now, I would say just to remember that it's a season. I would not have had the emotional capacity that it took for me to do this creative process in the thick of three kids, but that was a season and I invested very intentionally there while I was still working.

Speaker 1:

But this additional project required more of me than just my regular work and it was a creative project that was not income producing at the start, so it just required that I invest a lot of time and energy into it time and energy into it. What really inspired me to write it, though, are the women and clients that I work with. I did not write this book, as my writing coach says, about something. I wrote it for someone, and she is very clear to me and very important to me, and so this book was for her, because I know that not everyone can afford to employ me as a coach or to engage with my programs but, I, wanted to have a doorway that everyone could walk through.

Speaker 1:

I also wanted to offer a front door, sort of a foyer, where, if you were considering doing some work on yourself, you could just like walk into the foyer and look around a bit without a great commitment and kind of see, do I like this person, would I want to work with her? Because my publisher, when she originally read it, said this feels like a coaching session with you, would feel. And I was like, oh, then I like nailed it because that's what I wanted it to feel like.

Speaker 1:

And so that's the other purpose behind the book was just to give people a low risk entry point where they could dip their toe in and sort of see, if they liked, how it felt.

Speaker 2:

Which is very interesting because you do specialize in the habit finder way of coaching. However, in the book it isn't like. Let me dig into habit finder Right, which is so I found so fascinating, because I got to the end of the book and I'm like I still don't even know what habit finder is and I was like that is really interesting, Like I just really didn't know, I had to go to your website and do the assessment and find out, and that was also fascinating.

Speaker 2:

I encourage everyone go to Amy's website we're going to link it in the show notes and do the assessment, because it's very, very interesting and it's done very well in the sense that you know, I would think a lot of people want to learn more and you do offer little bitty sessions with you to try to understand that a little bit more.

Speaker 2:

But back to your book. What I found interesting was you don't actually talk a lot about that. You talk about habits and you talk about how people think, which is part of Habit Finder, but you don't lay out like this is what Habit Finder is and let me explain it to you, which I found so interesting. And the other thing about your book that I really love is your chapters are small. They focus on one subject. You give very specific examples from your own life about how those subjects can relate and you give everyone action, steps, things to do and homework at the end of every chapter.

Speaker 2:

So clearly you are a teacher because it is written that way. It is written that way. But that was the beauty of it. When I first started listening to the audio version of it I was like, well, I have to go by the prim version now because I need to go back and see what she wrote about the exercises, because you give people homework and that homework is about them thinking, but not to your point, in a scary like oh my goodness, we have to dig really deep to the cobwebs of my youth. It's just very like reflective of your life and decisions that you make and how you're thinking on a daily basis.

Speaker 1:

So I have to say for everyone, it's a really easy read.

Speaker 2:

I love hearing that from a reader. It was great. So I want to talk about a couple of things that I took away from the book and would love to have you expand on them a little bit because, like I said, there were some very actionable things that you talked about in the book that resonated with me personally and we could talk about every single chapter because there was so much in it. But I'm just going to pull out a few because I want people to go buy your book and honestly improve their lives. So let's start with see your own genius. Talk to us about that, because that one, that one, hit me hard. That's at the beginning.

Speaker 1:

Okay. So it's very difficult for us to recognize and to place appropriate value on our own natural genius. We tend to think that the things that we do that are easy to us, everyone can do, or they're not that big of a deal, and so the question I ask is what do you do that feels so easy to you but astonishes everyone else? There are many things that I can think of as examples, but one I'll give is from a very young age. Even I can remember doing this. I had a clubhouse in our neighborhood where you had to put a piece of chewed gum on the tree to get entry, and I led small group discussions I didn't call them that, but that's basically what I was doing where we were talking about how we could make the neighborhood better or how we could be better friends or how I was like facilitating conversation with a small group of people from a very young age Fast forward.

Speaker 1:

I did a lot of that as a teacher and as a business owner and as a developer of leaders within the context of my other business. But I thought everyone could do that. I thought, well, anyone can get just a small group of people and just ask some questions, right? I thought the facilitation of a conversation in that context was just something. So I didn't even actually know that was a thing, because it just was something I did so naturally. So our areas of natural genius are like that, where it's so easy to us that we don't see it or appreciate it. Here's the really important piece. Also, we don't charge enough money for it because it feels so easy to us. Right, big, that's the hard one, right, it's this. How do you one identify it but then also recognize I can actually get paid very handsomely for something that feels not even like work, which is the greatest gift ever if you could really get paid to do what you love.

Speaker 2:

Yes, you have exercises in that chapter that I so clearly remember about really thinking about what do you love to do, that if someone told you you could get paid for it, you would be so happy if doing that activity generated revenue. How would you feel?

Speaker 1:

Absolutely that activity generated revenue. How would you feel? Absolutely, I think it can feel frustrating also if you're not clear on what it is and then for me to say, like, charge people a lot of money for the thing that feels easy to you, I mean, I think I understand that that can feel flippant as well or a little bit frustrating. But I think there are people one example I give in the book is one of my clients, angie who had this building on her property that she wanted to turn into sort of like a community center or a place that could be used for meetings and gatherings, and so she was a project manager. So to her, seeing a process from start to finish and tiny steps along the way and walking people through that is so easy. So we were talking about this project and I said, well, why don't you apply that skill to this dream of yours and kind of create it like a project management style? So we hang up.

Speaker 1:

Not even an hour later I get this picture of this board with these post-it notes and it starts. The first one says barn, that looks like a crack house, which was just kind of funny, but that's where she started. And then it was so many post-it notes walking through every step of the project, and I immediately said to her do you know that? That's not normal? Do you know that most people can't take a project and break it down into 50 steps with color-coded post-it notes in less than an hour Unbelievable. But to her she was like well, what do you mean? That's not normal. I just wrote down the steps and that's you know. So again, it's always this sort of feeling where, when I pointed out to people and I'm constantly finding that I do that with my clients saying this is your genius, this is what you're so good at, this is they know it to be true, but they don't understand the value of it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah Well, and I also think I always say, especially for women who are in corporate America, you don't understand the skills that you necessarily have, that you can transfer to something else and to another industry, and your journey is a perfect example.

Speaker 2:

And you don't recognize. We get stuck in these little boxes in corporate America and it's sort of oh, I do this and that's kind of what I know and I'm really good at that, and you don't have the vision outside the box. You're in to see how you actually have skills other than just I'm an accountant, I'm in sales, I run a sales team whatever it is, and transfer that to something that feels more purposeful for you.

Speaker 1:

Yes, here's another one. This happens a ton in corporate America. I see a client I'm just working with now who is a nurturing, soft, kind connector. She's a good reader of the room. She's a coalition builder kind of a leader, right yeah, but she is not a loud from the front yelling the vision you know, with charisma, and so our conversations have been. She always felt less than or like she wasn't a leader, and our conversations have largely centered on our world needs more of your style of leadership. Yeah, We've got plenty of the other.

Speaker 2:

Oh, yeah, we sure do Covered, covered and then some.

Speaker 1:

What we need is that people start to see what she's doing as leadership that is equally, if not more, valuable, and she is leading at a really high level in her company. But the part that drives me crazy is that she's feeling less than for even a second because she doesn't fit this narrative or very defined box of what we think leadership is. She's having great impact. She's moving people from here to there. She's doing it with a different style and energy. Yes, equally effective.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I can relate to that so much.

Speaker 1:

That's her natural genius, right, yeah, but she's not seeing it. She's seeing it as a negative. Instead of saying no, I'm coming to the table to contrast myself with my other leader who's different from me, because the table needs all kinds of people, not just one, and that's what I don't want is for people to feel less than or like they're not as accomplished because their style of leadership is different.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so powerful, and I can totally relate to that. I came from a disruptor mentality of leadership. You want to be disrupting, disrupting and I'm like to me. Disrupting is a very negative term and I struggle with that, the negativity of that term from a disruption perspective. And so there was a lot of butting heads, you know.

Speaker 1:

What would you have described your style as? Oh?

Speaker 2:

my style was much more collaborative kind, much more open, not like we're just going to go in and blow everything up because we want to disrupt everything and be the bomb that enters the room and I'm like, oh my goodness, I don't want to be the energy of the tornado that enters the room. I want to be the energy of the person who gives you a hug when you enter the room and talks to you like you're a real person and cares about you as a human being, not just your job, your role in that job, and that is your value. Last few years of my career in corporate America, I really struggled with that, not aligning with that expectation of what a leader needs to be. Yeah, so it's very real. What you talk about is very, very real, very real.

Speaker 2:

Okay, I'm going to move on with the book because there's so much in here but we're not going to get to all of it, but I'm going to like, at the end I'm going to talk about a couple of things that you talk about that I think are really impactful. There are two things I definitely want to cover Boundaries and unpaid labor, because I think those two go together very well. Those chapters resonate tremendously. So let's talk about boundaries and unpaid labor. They're separate chapters, folks, but we're going to talk about them together because you can't talk about unpaid labor without understanding boundaries first.

Speaker 1:

Sure, well, let's start with unpaid labor. So the largest sector of our economy actually is unpaid labor, which is all of the things that people do outside of their work in quotation marks that are vitally important to communities and families and even just towns and cities. Right, but the caretaking, the cleaning, the laundry, the grocery shopping, the food preparation, the gift buying, the appointment making, the cleaning, the laundry, the grocery shopping, the food preparation, the gift buying, the appointment making, the trying to think of all of the things, doctor's appointments, your list is so long.

Speaker 2:

I was like oh my goodness.

Speaker 1:

So this is what happened. Our economy in the 1950s let's just use as an example, because it sort of gets grouped that way, though I wonder if it actually was as real as it feels in our narrative around it was that one person would leave the house, go out into the world and make all of the money. The other person would stay home and take care of all of the unpaid labor. Now, in that economy, for some people again I'm not sure it was for all people, but for many people that worked and you could afford to do that but women left the home in droves in the 1960s and 70s again, maybe for different reasons, who knows but this is what happened. We now know that over 70% of women are working outside of the home and it's even higher within, like the working ages. So no longer is it true that we have one person at home doing all of the unpaid labor and one person earning the money. However, in our departure from the home, we did not depart from the labor.

Speaker 2:

Right. I couldn't agree more yes.

Speaker 1:

So women are still doing the vast majority of unpaid labor in our world, while also managing full-time work outside of the home. Now, there are so many thoughts around that that I have, but one in the book is that I have a survey where you can just add up the number of hours of unpaid labor that you do. Some people think this is child-centric, but I will say we looked at that survey. There are only two items in the entire survey that have anything to do with children. So this you do not have to have children for this to be impacting you. There is just a lot of work that it takes outside of work to live?

Speaker 2:

Yes, it does.

Speaker 1:

Right. Yes, I think this chapter and maybe I can ask you even, but what I think I'm saying to women is one. What you're feeling is real and there's a reason for it.

Speaker 2:

there's a reason you're so tired, because it's so much work.

Speaker 1:

Yes, In fact I was talking to my friend Lane I tell this story in the book about this subject and as we're talking, the van pulls up with the balloons I've ordered for my son's birthday party. He's pulling up and my friend Lane says in my ear never once have I purchased a birthday gift or ordered balloons or cake for a party. Now he is a very high-earning executive person, right. That being said, I want to order the balloons and have the party for my kids also. So some of it is that I'm choosing some of that unpaid labor because it's extremely valuable to me and I want and enjoy doing it. The problem is we're doing things that aren't enjoyable, that aren't in our gifting, that are draining, and we're doing it out of a sense of like that makes me a good woman. Maybe I'm not sure what the Right, or I don't have another choice. Like I just have to. That's just how it is. That's just how it is.

Speaker 2:

I just not sure what the Right or I don't have another choice, like I just have to. That's just how it is. It's just that's just how it is. I just am the person who does all of that and not looking at it any differently, and you're trying to encourage looking at it differently.

Speaker 1:

Countless people said don't tell anyone when I was asking them how much help they had, or if they had help. Don't tell any, don't use my name, don't tell anyone. I want to say why are we not celebrating the women who are hiring people most of the time other women and paying them to do that labor, putting money into their families' pockets so that they can also afford things and have a flexible schedule? I use the example of a friend of mine who owns a cleaning business, who employs tons of women, who work flexible hours and get paid to clean for people, right, and we see that as like I'm looking down on them. I see that as like I have a need and you have a need and we're having a fair exchange for it.

Speaker 1:

I'm so grateful, I'm so grateful. But also, if you choose to do all of the unpaid labor, great, choose it. You know, if that works. It's just that in our current economy, it's really difficult to support a whole family on one income, right, right. And so it's just changed. The world has changed, but this one element of us still carrying this burden has not changed.

Speaker 2:

No, when I listened to the chapter, it was just a reminder, because I'm a single parent and have been for 18 years, and so you know, and I own my own house. So it's like I mean me and me on every subject, right, you name it parenting, all of it, Right. And and what I took away from it was trying to find the balance and and also giving yourself grace that you don't have to achieve a hundred percent perfection and all these different pillars to make yourself a valuable, worthy woman. And that's a message that we hear a lot, and you reiterate that in many different ways in your story. And I will say I had a nanny for my daughter until she could drive at 16. And the one thing that I missed the most when she left was that she did all the laundry in the house.

Speaker 2:

And after I read your and I have a cleaning lady and I've helped, for you know different things but it really made me think, not just about my business and the need for an assistant for my business, but also within my home, thinking about, okay, what would be the one thing that I would outsource if I could? And a lot of people are like cooking I never want to. I don't want to cook again, but I actually love cooking. Cooking to me is like fueling myself. I've changed my mindset on cooking and making dinner. That it's not a chore, it's really like the time I give to me. So I love cooking. So that wouldn't be my thing, but but sometimes it is my thing and sometimes it's like you know what it's really busy. Give yourself the grace that you give to yourself.

Speaker 2:

But for me personally just to relate your book back to a reader my thing was laundry. I was like I really I really don't like laundry. Laundry never ends, it goes on forever. There is no end, there's no completion. I did 13 loads of laundry this weekend.

Speaker 2:

I like there are only two of us living in this house and three dogs. How do I have loads of laundry and I still have more laundry? Today I walk by the dog's bed. I'm like they need to be washed again. Here we go, so it never ends. So for me, my thing is laundry. But it also forced me to ask for more help within my house for that one thing that really I don't view positively and I view as a task and a chore that I don't like, and so it forced me to ask for more help within my own home, with the people in my home and saying you know, I'm happy to do your laundry, but I need you to sort it, I need you to bring it downstairs, I will wash it, I will fold it, and then I need you to bring it back.

Speaker 2:

And that felt really empowering.

Speaker 1:

It's just the pause of like I don't have to do all of this Right Now. There's always the gap of how are we going to pay for this right? There's always that as well. But I do find that when you say to the world I'm worthy of being taken care of in a tangible way, and you attach money to it, again there's the money right, like it's so representative of something. When you say I am worthy and I'm able to receive care, I'm allowing people to take care of me and I'm actually representing that with money, the world has a way of returning money to you.

Speaker 1:

When you step into that faith equation of I'm trusting that if I pay for this, this will come back to me Because you will show up in spaces not so exhausted, you will perform better in your work, your business will start to grow because you aren't so emotionally drained from looking around your house feeling like a failure because it's a mess and there's piles of laundry everywhere. So there's like this reciprocal nature to it where I'm going to. But something has to take the first step and that's almost always the hiring, the help or the offloading of the thing to someone else, or the dispersing of the unpaid labor and making it a more fair distribution.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, yeah, and I think you give examples of your children too, which are great Everybody. Oh, my goodness, you have to read the book for those, because those are really good ones. Okay, before we run out of time, I want to talk about one other thing that I just mentioned that is in the book that I want to make sure we touch on, which are boundaries. So your chapter on boundaries is so powerful, it's at a really high level. Before we run out of time, can you talk to us about boundaries?

Speaker 1:

I can. Boundary setting is a way of life. I will talk about this until I die. I hope that we don't get tired of talking about boundary setting. Setting Boundaries are not thick walls of hyper independence. No one's letting me in Beast in the boardroom. I've got everything taken care of of myself. Nothing's getting in here. They're also not wide open where we allow anything and everyone to mistreat us or we allow any kind of inappropriate or harmful behavior in our presence. Boundaries are porous. They keep out what is harmful and they let in the things that nurture and care for us. And there is a vulnerability to boundary setting. There's also a loss to boundary setting. That is very real.

Speaker 1:

I talk about this a lot with clients, even in boundary setting with goals. So I have ambition in spades. I have big dreams and goals right. I also have people in my world that I care about deeply and commitments outside of work that are very meaningful to me. If I allow my ambition to run unchecked and I'm just setting goals from an ambitious place without having boundaries on it, that relationship will not be healthy. And we have relationships with our goals and with our businesses and our careers right, and so the boundary setting in that case, for me, looks like I want to work like a teacher Monday through Friday, 8 to 3.30, off on the weekends, breaks, when kids have breaks, light summers, while getting paid like a CEO. Yeah, doing work that is very purposeful and meaningful. That means I have a check, because if my goal is just to get paid like a CEO, everything's a yes. If my goal is just to protect my boundaries and I don't also have the goal I probably will have lots of flexibility and very boundaried schedule, but I won't be making enough money, right, and so it's this, like all of that.

Speaker 1:

But here's the loss A client, potential client. I have a call with her. She is my people. I was like you are who I exist to serve. We have this lovely conversation. She's ready to move forward. She says I can only meet after 6 pm. Ready to move forward? She says I can only meet after 6 pm. Yeah, been there. I say I have to sleep on it because I'm horrible in the moment. I'll say, yes, I give myself the night, but I have to come back and say I'm going to have to pass, because if I say yes, I'm violating this boundary, I'm violating the foundation upon which everything in my business is built. I'm out of integrity, but there's loss there. Yes, podcast, this is how I set my boundaries. I'm so good at it. But the reality is there are things I really want to do that I don't do or can't do, or have to say no to or want, you know, choose to say no to because of that boundary. So that's a snippet. It's such a really important chapter, it's such a deeper work and it's so important.

Speaker 2:

It is. So I'm so glad you touched on it, because the boundary chapter is very impactful. Okay, so, before we run out of time, I ask all my guests to recommend a book that has impacted themselves personally or professionally that they would recommend outside of yours, because obviously I am here to recommend yours. So what book would you like to recommend to the audience?

Speaker 1:

Okay, I mean, I'm the book girl, but I will say this one's on the top of my pile right now the Illusion of Money.

Speaker 2:

I haven't read that one, but I've heard of it.

Speaker 1:

I just got to interview Kyle on my most recent online course that I taught called the Movement of Money. But this book was life-changing for me in my relationship with money and it inspired a lot of chapter eight in my book. It was foundational to me, shifting and redefining my relationship with money and getting money further away from my feeling of safety and security, allowing money to just exist apart from me. It's something I interact with every day. I think of money like water, like I drink it. I need it to survive. Something I interact with every day. I think of money like water, like I drink it. I need it to survive. I interact with it daily, but the point is that I want to keep it moving. I'm not scared about water. I'm not trying to contain water in my body. You know, I am.

Speaker 1:

I am allowing money to move to and through me at all times, and I'm doing the same with money and when I find that money is moving. I never worry about having enough, it's when it gets stuck that I have shortage and fear and lack scarcity, I'm giving my power away. So the Illusion of Money by Kyle Cease is the book and the author.

Speaker 2:

All right, I'm going to have to read that one. It's really good. So how can people find you and how do you want people to connect with you?

Speaker 1:

Yes, so you can find me at amykempcom on my website. Of course, there is a fun section on the website where you can find some cool resources around the book and also you can take the Habit Finder assessment there for free on the website. I also would invite you to follow me on my social media channels. Amy Kemp Inc is where you can find me on Instagram and Facebook and then also on LinkedIn just under Amy Kemp, but I invite you into those conversations also and those communities. I welcome everyone with open arms. Oh good.

Speaker 2:

All right, before we go, I'm going to comment on three things in your book just to give people a glimpse. I'm not going to explain them, but I'm going to tell you. So people, you have to go and read the book. All right, the chapter with the golden goose self-assessment so powerful it's. At the beginning we didn't talk about it because I don't want to give away the whole book, but everyone is so, so powerful.

Speaker 2:

One thing that I actually now do as a result of your book is the six most important things list. Once again, I do that. I even print it out. You offer everybody a printout. I printed it out. I've been doing it.

Speaker 2:

It's changed my mindset about my tasks and my to-do list so so much. Like yesterday I finally found the time to call and get my mammogram and get my daughter off my car insurance because she's now 18. Like that has been on the to-do list for, oh my goodness, so long. And finally I was like, wait, I have 15 minutes, here we go, get those things done. It was so helpful. And then the end of your book.

Speaker 2:

As a speaker, we. And then the end of your book. As a speaker, we're always taught that you have to bring emotion into your speech and you want to leave people with something very emotional about yourself. And you have done one of the best jobs I've ever seen in a book with your chapter about respect the mile. And respect the mile is amazing. It will make me cry to even mention it because it is such a powerful story. It is such a powerful story, it is such a powerful lesson. So everyone you have to go download her book, buy her book so you can read about Respect the Mile, because that is a really powerful thing that you shared and just oh, touches my heart just thinking about it. So thank you. Thank you, weemie, for being on the show, thank you for your wisdom, the coaching, the help that you offer everybody. You really are very inspiring. So thank you.

Speaker 1:

Thank you, Jean, for reading and being such a gracious guide. I appreciate you.

Speaker 2:

You're welcome and we will talk soon. Have a great day everybody. Thank you for joining us for another episode of the House of Jermar podcast, where wellness starts within. We appreciate you being a part of our community and hope you felt inspired and motivated by our guest. If you enjoyed this episode, please write us a review and share it with friends. Building our reach on YouTube and Apple podcasts will help us get closer to our mission to empower 1 million women to live all in. You can also follow us on Instagram at House of Jermar and sign up to be a part of our monthly inspiration newsletter through our website, houseofjermarcom. If you or someone you know would be a good guest on the show, please reach out to us at podcast at houseofjermarcom. This has been a House of Jermar production with your host, jean Collins. Thank you for joining our house.