House of JerMar

The Fix Yourself Series

• Jeanne Collins • Season 1 • Episode 33

Share episode

This week, on the House of JerMar podcast, we sit down with the insightful Faust Ruggiero, a seasoned psychologist and author of the Fix Yourself Empowerment Series. With over three decades of experience, Faust has dedicated his life to helping individuals navigate hurdles like anger, anxiety, and depression. Through his unique philosophy on self-empowerment, he reveals how embracing positivity can not only enhance your life but also empower those around you. Faust’s passion for counseling and personal development shines through as he shares stories from his diverse career, including work in clinics, prisons, and substance abuse centers.

Faust shares his commitment to providing practical, no-nonsense advice in his books. Rather than offering vague advice, Faust focuses on providing readers with actionable steps for self-improvement, bringing his holistic approach to wellness into focus. From diet and sleep to emotional and intellectual growth, his books integrate every aspect of well-being seamlessly. Faust emphasizes seeing work and pleasure as interconnected, allowing his enthusiasm for life to drive his writing and research, ultimately making the process enjoyable and fulfilling.

Faust's Book Recommendation:
Anything by Hermann Hesse but his favorite is Narcissus and Goldmund

More about Faust:
Faust Ruggiero is a psychologist who has been in private practice for over thirty-five years. Before entering private practice, he worked in clinics for deaf children, prisons, nursing homes, substance abuse centers, inpatient facilities, and is a consultant for major national and international corporations.
He is a published research author and a professional clinical trainer.
In the summer of 2016, he began to develop The Fix Yourself Empowerment Series based on the Process Life Program to help readers address difficult situations in their lives. The series currently includes The Fix Yourself Handbook, The Fix Your Anxiety Handbook, The Fix Your Depression Handbook, The Fix Your Anger Handbook and the new The Fix Your Addiction Handbook recently released in November.

www.FaustRuggiero.com
Connect with Faust on Instagram at:
https://www.instagram.com/faustinspire/
 
Connect with Faust on YouTube at: 
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCAGHkwno52fug1bNnAxfDQ
 
Connect with Faust on Facebook at: 
https://www.facebook.com/FaustInspire/

House of JerMar:
Learn more on our website: houseofjermar.com.

Follow us on Instagram: instagram.com/houseofjermar/

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: youtube.com/@Houseofjermar

Read Jeanne's Book: Two Feet In: Lessons From and All-In Life

WELCOME TO OUR HOUSE!

Speaker 1:

You have to like your life, though. People think you like your life because it's all full of good things. You like your life because you like you and you make your life something you like. It's the only way it works. Everything else is fragile.

Speaker 2:

Right, you've created it.

Speaker 1:

I just did a quote. I do inspirational quotes and I said you know, we look at people who make us feel good and make us feel like we're empowered, and touch those good parts of ourselves. Why, and touch those good parts of ourselves, why not become one of those people? You know, not only do you not need them, but in the meantime you're spreading it all around, you're grabbing your gifts and embracing the world with it.

Speaker 2:

That's what I like to do. That's you know. For me, that's a thing that I do every day in my life. Welcome to the House of Jermar podcast, where wellness starts within. The House of Germar is a lifestyle brand, empowering women to live all in through interior design and personal wellness. We are a destination for women ready to reimagine what is possible in their homes and lives and then create it. We are honored to have you join us on our mission to empower 1 million women to live all in. We are honored to have you join us on our mission to empower 1 million women to live all in. I am your host, jean Collins, and I invite you to become inspired by this week's guest. Welcome to the House of Germar podcast, where wellness starts within. I'm your host, jean Collins, and today our guest is Foss Ruggiero. Hopefully I pronounced that correctly. He will correct me if I did not, but I am so excited to have Foss Ruggiero. Hopefully I pronounced that correctly. He will correct me if I did not, but I am so excited to have Foss on the show.

Speaker 2:

Foss has written these incredible books about how to fix yourself. He calls them handbooks. He's got them on anger. He's got them on. I'm looking at my stack over here, he's got them on anger, anxiety, depression yourself, and he has one coming out on addiction. So, before we get started, I am actually going to read his bio, because I don't want to get any of this wrong and I normally don't do this, but his bio is so impressive that I want to make sure I get it right for you.

Speaker 2:

So you guys, he is a psychologist who has been in private practice for over 35 years. Before entering private practice, he worked in clinics for deaf children, prisons, nursing homes, substance abuse centers, inpatient facilities, and is a consultant on major national and international corporations. He is a published research author and a professional clinical trainer. Wow, one other thing In 2016, that's when he started these books the Fix Yourself, empowerment Series, based on the Process Life Program, and it helps readers address difficult situations in their lives. I have read his book on anger and I can tell you it is really helpful. So, after that long introduction, faust, welcome to the House of Germar. Podcast.

Speaker 1:

It is so nice to be here with you today and after three times trying to get this going for us, whoever's listening must know how much we want to help you out. We do.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so the listeners know this is our third attempt at trying to record this. We had scheduling issues, then we had technical issues and then today we even had half an hour of technical issues to try to get this working. So we really wanted to be able to bring to you guys what Foss does, because I think it's really empowering and his books are really easy and have very actionable steps and his journey is also really inspiring. So I wanted to make sure we got him on. So, before we get going on your books, why don't you share a little bit of background about yourself?

Speaker 1:

Sure, you know I'm an author now. I've been in private practice for 40 years. Previous to that I'm, you know, your typical local guy who was just everyone's listener growing up. So it just went into studying psychology. It's not one of those things where I said, what am I going to do? It was just there. So I went to school, got the training, did all that good stuff in all those locations, and here I am today, X amount of years later, I'm still doing this.

Speaker 2:

And in addition to being an author, you still have a private practice right.

Speaker 1:

I do. I thought about retiring, but retirement is not for me. I'm not one of those people. So I don't know if I can get up and golf and go out to breakfast with the boys and do that mall thing, whatever. So I'm the guy that's going to get up every day and plug in and I think it's good. I mean, I still have a passion about the way I do things. So I'm still counseling, I'm still writing and I'm doing all the things that go along with it. It's a lot of fun.

Speaker 2:

Good for you. Now, what made you decide you wanted to write a book? Because writing is not for everyone. And you've written four and you're working on the fifth one, which will be out shortly. So what made you decide you wanted to put all this down for everyone to read.

Speaker 1:

You know, I think there's a lot of things that go into that. Gene One is just my personality. I like to develop things and make them as big as you can. Keep the quality but make them big, and make them as big as you can. Keep the quality but make them big. After doing so many years of counseling and putting together programs that I thought were good and were going to help people, I said, you know, it's time to expand that. Let's get it out to the public. So I wrote the first book. It did very well. People liked the way it was put together.

Speaker 1:

I'm not one of these very wordy people. You know. My chapters are short seven, eight pages. And then I'm very pragmatic in the way I work. I have to be practical and here are the action steps. So I give them what they need to know about a topic and then I say, okay, here are the things you need to do. That's what I do when I counsel. So I thought why not put this into something a little bit bigger? So it's gotten a little bigger, a lot bigger.

Speaker 2:

Well, I will say just to take one step back, when you made the comment about you tell people what to do. I think a lot of times people are reluctant to go to therapists because they're myself included you go, you talk and they don't tell you what to do. They don't say, oh you're right about this or oh, you're wrong about this. They ask lots of probing questions and try to get you to come up with the answers. But I found in your book because I did read the whole anger book what was so interesting is that you really told people steps to take and things to do. And the other thing that I thought was interesting about these steps and I want you to touch on this a little bit it is a very broad wellness approach to it, and so it isn't just about controlling your anger. You talk about things like the food you eat and how you sleep and exercise. So how did you start to incorporate some of those things that aren't just the inner work questions that we're used to when we go to a therapist?

Speaker 1:

It's a great question. I've always been one and I still am in my age to say how can I do this a little better? How can I improve this in my life? So when I looked at it I said, well, the obvious thing to do is make my life a holistic approach, if you will, all the various things that go into feeling good about yourself we're physical, we're intellectual, we're emotional, we're spiritual so I can grab all of those things. That's how I counsel. Also, you know, when you talk to me, I think you can see I'm not one of these people that says, well, how was your day, and let's get into it and I'll guide you into some type of enlightenment. That's not going to be me. Lay down the facts. What are the facts? Let's look at this Now. Do you want me to tell you what you can do to me? And of course, everyone says yes and then I say, okay, try these things, we're going to look at those next time you come in. And the people that counsel with me know that's what he's going to ask me when I walk in next time. So I better have my homework done. So I do it that way.

Speaker 1:

When I wrote the books, first you do a literature study and you say, my God, they're all lots and lots and it's good information. They're giving you great information and then they stop and that's the end of it. I don't know whether people just don't have the next step or whether they choose not to use it. But I said, well, let's go to the next step, let's put the action steps in there. Here's all the information. If they read it and they say, and they get to the action steps, they're going to say logically yeah, that should apply there, kind of why didn't I think about that? Or I didn't think about it because I don't want to be accountable, but it's there, you know. So information gives them straight. Tell them what they need to do, why not?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and your book does have a lot of research in it. So how do you find the time to do all that research? Plus then summarize it, write about it.

Speaker 1:

Now you're getting to a question, I think, which is about who I am. People have a tendency, I think, to separate work and pleasure. Well, I've done the work, now I want to do this. I don't do that. My life never runs that way. I don't have work and pleasure, things that I do. Everything is wrapped up together. So when I'm you know it's not something out of the question where I'm going to be out mowing the grass, if you will, and then walk right in and start writing, I can do that because I don't have a separation piece which says well, you know, I did that.

Speaker 1:

So when I'm doing all this stuff, it's all fun to me. I don't care if I'm outside putting the garbage out, I'm going to have fun. I'm going to have fun writing. I don't have this thing where it's work and God, I've worked so much today. Now I've earned this right to do whatever it is that typically. You know what that does. It doesn't do a good thing. It doesn't do a darn thing for me. It's usually, if it's not toxic, it's just for my pleasure. I just like to make pleasure all the time. So, whatever I do, I just say let's have a good time. Even a half hour we took figuring out how we were going to get here today.

Speaker 2:

You did have a great attitude and mindset about our technical challenges. I will absolutely say that Well, and you said something that I think is really important it feels like you have found your calling and your passion in life, and when you get to that point, work is not work in the same way that most people think of work. Work fuels you, it excites you, it interests you. Writing books interests you. So you've managed to find your passion in life.

Speaker 1:

I have, you know. But you know what it's interesting? People will look at that and that's, to me, is more of an outward expression of you. Know, you found your passion. To me, it's about being passionate. It's about getting up there, you plug in, you say I am ready to go, and then whatever comes in whether it's writing or doing a podcast or counseling people or doing things around the house it's always that bring the next thing on. I was out doing lawn work one day and it's fall here, so now the leaves are dropping and trim this and put this away. And someone says a friend goes by and says, yes, you're doing this too. And I said my house is my toy, I'm playing, that's what I'm doing out here, and you want to put your headphones on, you want to sing, you want to just smile and whatever you do, if you're going to do it, there are moments of your life passing by. Why would you not want to put some passion and enjoyment into it? It's just, it's logical thinking.

Speaker 2:

Yes, it is, and I happen to really love that and I live by that in a lot of ways in my own life.

Speaker 2:

And what you're talking about is really coming to your mindset about those things and instead of making them chores, it's how do you turn it around and make that experience, even a task, enjoyable?

Speaker 2:

And your point it's leaves, but you're also outside and it's been really beautiful here. And I use the analogy for people all the time when it comes to cooking, because I think, especially as women with kids, we look at cooking as such a chore in our lives, and about four years ago, I changed my mindset around cooking and I changed it to be that this is my time to fuel my body and to cook something that's going to give back to me, and so, instead of it being a chore, which is me giving out to others and it having a negative mindset, I turned it around as time for me to fuel my body from a holistic perspective, and it has made a world of difference in how I approach dinner and how I approach cooking, which is also something I really genuinely enjoy. However, the task of what's for dinner can be very daunting, but changing that mindset, I found, has made such a huge difference.

Speaker 1:

It does and what happens? That's that journey versus destination thing. We get into the chore we have to do and what we're thinking about is get this darn thing done. I just want to get over there and do that, and I'm not sure what that is, because it's very rarely productive. I just don't want to be doing this. So I don't set that piece where it says okay, I want to be done doing this. While I'm in it, I'm living, I'm breathing. That's my life going by, so I want to grab all the moments.

Speaker 1:

You know, I was talking to another uh person who was an author and she says she gets writer's block and I said no, why? And we went through. I said yeah, because you're pushing. You're looking at your finished product and you're saying I can do this. I'm just running in every day and saying whatever, let's put it out there. I know my subject matter, I know what I have to do in doing this for all these years. And she says well, now you can take a break.

Speaker 1:

Your fifth book is coming out. And I said, no, my God, I've already started the research for the sixth one. She says the publisher has it. You're not going to have it out for two weeks. Why don't you take a break and have it out for two weeks? Why don't you take a break? And I said from what? That's the philosophy, and those two little words she said that caught her. She said you said from what? And I didn't have an answer. She said what are you taking a break from my life? So I do this. I love it. I'm calmly going to relax, do all my research. Then I'll put my outline together and somewhere around mid-December I'll start writing and the book takes me about six weeks to two months to put a book together.

Speaker 1:

Then we go through all the cool stuff like the editing, which is so much fun, which is so funny.

Speaker 2:

That's not what people normally say and you do it. But it is so much fun, especially if you have a really good team of people with you to help take your ideas and your thoughts and enhance them and make them so much better. Then you're like oh, wow, yes, that was the missing word in that sentence. It's so great now.

Speaker 1:

They'll send their books as an example to their copy editor, and that copy editor is the demon they're going to come back with with a million corrections. And so you know, I remember the first book. I said I have two options here she could be my demon or she could be my best friend. I'm going to go the best friend room now. We're five books in. She knows the vision. And the last one came back and this is the new one. It's a bit longer, it's about 260 pages, and I knew it was going to be a lot of work and I just okay, it's back. Oh, there, it is Okay. Tomorrow I'll start this and tomorrow we get up and just blow right into it.

Speaker 1:

I didn't think about oh, my God, I have my, the way I do it. I went through it. It took about 10 days, 11 days, and I was done and Publisher has it. It's easy if you, you know. And the other thing is don't take yourself so darn seriously, my God, you know. Oh, you're just going to prank me. Who cares? Just go, have a good time. You know I have a friend. Something changed my life years ago. I have a good time. You know I have a friend. Something changed my life years ago. I have a friend that is not was in a motorcycle accident, so he's a quadriplegic and he lays in his bed and someone said to him one day you need to take the garbage out. And he looked at him and said, oh, I wish I could take the garbage out. And, man, you want to talk about something? That just resonated and I said I should be able to sing taking the garbage out.

Speaker 1:

I can do it. Yes, he can, he can. And instead of people grabbing that, they make themselves the camp people. I hate that, I don't want to do that, and they make their life feel miserable. Positive language, positive energy you know, I always tell myself if it's something I don't like, I tell myself good stuff about it. Let's go. I'm not going to go there and make it myself crazy. I don't want to walk in and go. What a rotten time that was Jeez.

Speaker 2:

You are so great, your clients must love you.

Speaker 1:

Well, you know what? Same thing with counseling. I want my clients come in. I want them to laugh and cry, get deep, but I want them to be able to say this was great. I have work to do, I'm going to get uncomfortable but I'm going to get back there next time. It's going to be all that positive, powerful stuff that we're going to do. I want to build that into my counseling. I want them to start to see the passion that they can have and they do. I'll see them years later and they'll say I'm still doing all that stuff you said. That's the payoff for people like myself.

Speaker 2:

Of course, that makes you feel so good yes, and you have incredible energy. And if you can raise the energy of your patients, especially because the topics you talk about and we're going to talk about this because I asked you this question when I first met you the topics you talk about are, let's just say, depressing, challenging, anger, depression, anxiety, addiction. These are heavy, heavy topics that you write about, but yet you have this incredible gift of making them not so heavy. How do you do that?

Speaker 1:

You never forget. First of all, I'm that people person. I love to be around people. I not only love to be around them, I love them. So when we're doing this, I want them to understand that they're wonderful, they're good people, they're lovable people.

Speaker 1:

But I don't throw that fluff around like some people do. Hey, I believe this. You've got to get to the point that you understand that it's all in there. But you've had these experiences and you're doing these things to yourself. We're going to uncover all that garbage, we're going to purge and we're going to go get the good part of you. It's in there, I'm seeing it and they know me.

Speaker 1:

I'm not one to blow smoke. If it's not there, I'm going to say it's not there, we need to go, do some things and get it, and we'll get it. I haven't met the person I can't do this with, but life is a journey and even when I write my books, I start with okay, you're confused, you're confused, you're conflicted, you're angry, you're whatever, but you are a beautiful person. Here's what it's going to look like when we get there, and that's the other piece that I think is so important. I think a good counselor, a good psychologist, says hey, this is where you are, this is where we're going to be. Psychologists don't like that, because that makes us become accountable. Right, I don't mind the accountability. Yes, I'm telling you, we're going to go here. Sure, if you do what I'm telling you, if you stay committed and you work with what we're saying, you're going there. Do you want it? Let's do it.

Speaker 2:

Which is a huge difference, because there's also this concept that feeling like a therapist never wants you to really get better, because then you don't need the therapist anymore. So it's this continual, perpetual cycle of how much do they really want me to get better? Because if I really do get better, then I don't need them anymore. At least that's the feeling on the outside. I've had a lot of people say to me that that's how they feel about therapists is they just want me to keep coming?

Speaker 1:

I always tell them I admit to the old saying I am in business with you today till we be out of business with you. I want to see you and I'm, you know, a hugger. I'll give you a big hug when I get here. But I really would like to get you to the point that you don't need this office anymore. Or you might say you know what? I'm going to check in once a year for just kind of a tune-up. You tell me where I'm at, I'm good, but if you've got to keep on coming, something's wrong. Or if you've got to keep on coming back every other year, every year you're back.

Speaker 1:

We didn't do something or you're not doing something, right. So you know it's about you. It's like raising kids, you know. You know, now, get out of my house. I want the room for something else, right? So you know we're in business. We raise them so they can spread their wings and go be people. And that's the same thing about counseling. We, really we. We help them. They spread their wings and go be people. And that's the same thing about counseling we help them, they spread their wings, they go and they live life and have a good time and teach the next person.

Speaker 2:

That is such a unique approach. Oh, thank you for that. It gives me a little bit of renewed faith in counseling and therapists. How do you pick the subjects for your books?

Speaker 1:

I knew the first book. I wanted something that was going to be for everyone, because if you write books and your publisher says, oh, what's your target audience? When you write a self-help book, almost always the target audience is females between 18 and 45. I said what do you want me to write to? How about all the rest of the people? We just kind of chucked those to the side so I said, and I said, well, it's just too broad. And then I said I'm going to have 36 different topics. They said, oh, impossible, you have to have one or two. I said, no, life doesn't work that way. The first book, that flagship book, has to have all of these. So we did that first. Then the pandemic hit and I saw anxiety man. So I said, well, you know what, let's go there. Well, we started. A year later I said here comes the depression. Now that's really bad. So we went there. What are we experiencing right now? Look across the nation.

Speaker 2:

Angry, angry people. Anger is huge. It's like they're picking my subjects for me. I just sit back and let you guys do what I can. It's true, your stuff is very topical. It's all about what's in the news and your subjects are very much at the forefront and in the news.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so an addiction. I've worked with addiction for almost 35 years, so there isn't a whole lot about that subject, I don't know. So the new book has 17 different type of addictions and all the information you need. And here now let's do all these things. At the end it's really simple, basic advice you give people. Get the information, get the facts, put a plan together, change your life Not rocket science.

Speaker 2:

Well, and addiction is such a broad subject, because addiction can. People's normal thought is addiction, and you're thinking drugs and alcohol. However, I think in our society now, there is addiction to social media. There's an addiction to a feeling that you get from how people interact with you. There's so many different levels of addiction. It's not just drugs and alcohol that people normally think about, so does your book touch on that a little bit? That addiction can apply to many, many things.

Speaker 1:

There's a chapter on cell phone and electronics exercise, food addiction, gambling, all those kinds of things. Self-abuse is even an addiction for some people.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I'm so glad you mentioned that, because that is a big one.

Speaker 1:

People don't see it just think you know, uh, for some reason you you start cutting yourself or you start doing hitting yourself. No, after the brain adjusts to it, it becomes addictive and the though the initial problems are still there, the brain seeks out that, that euphoria, and you actually get that from doing those things. So I want people to understand that as something a little more than just a reaction to pain. It's more. The brain is an adaptive organ. Structurally it changes. So we want people to understand all those things before we get into the advice.

Speaker 2:

What is actually happening, the research and the science behind what is happening to them, and then you move into how you can help them. So your first book right, the Fix Yourself Handbook. I want to make sure I get the word right that I'm going to use for this you talk about. Are they processes? Am I going to get this right? Right, Processes. And then so talk to me about the processes. And how did you come up with those? Because, just for the listeners, he references those in all of his future books and in every chapter he tells you which processes he's talking about or which ones relate to that chapter, which is very interesting full circle moment. So talk to us about the processes.

Speaker 1:

No, jean, it's one of those things where people hear that and say, oh my God, I've got something complicated to work with. It's not A process. Might be honesty. It might be putting your intellect before your emotions, that type of thing. So I teach them how to do that. What is honesty? As an example, the world's definition of honesty is kind of like example. The world's definition of honesty is kind of like you know, here's some of the honesty.

Speaker 1:

Honesty has become a survival protective thing. We don't give it all up and I teach them how to go way deep. You get really uncomfortable and then you say, oh, this is what it really is. And when they do that, there are the facts about their life. People get scared that we're going to uncover all this horrible stuff about me. I said, yeah, we are, but that's where all the beauty is too, in the honesty. So I teach them how to be honest people. That's a process.

Speaker 1:

A process might be gratitude, and what gratitude's all about. It's not about just being thankful for what you get. That's thankfulness. Gratitude is inside. It's not about just being thankful for what you get. That's thankfulness. Gratitude is inside. It's inside you all the time. I teach them how to get there. Creativity is another one Passion. People will look at me like you said geez, all the energy. When I get up in the morning I have teas that actually calm you down, because it's not that and I'm not this way. If you see me, I am usually just calm, relaxed, but the energy is right there when I call on it because my body's learned how to process it and use it properly. So caffeine doesn't go in my body and all those sugars and all those kinds of things, the energy is there. I'm an easy 16, 17 hour a day guy. I'm the guy that does a little routine to ease into sleep. I always tell these people I say if I could figure out a way to be healthy and never sleep again, I would do it.

Speaker 2:

Oh, that is funny. Wow, good for you.

Speaker 1:

You have to like your life, though, but people think you like your life because it's all full of good things. You like your life because you like you and you make your life something you like. It's the only way it works. Everything else is fragile.

Speaker 2:

Right, you've created it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's you're who you are. I just did a quote. I do inspirational quotes. We look at people who make us feel good and make us feel like we're empowered, and touch those good parts of ourselves. Why not become one of those people? Not only do you not need them, but in the meantime you're spreading it all around, you're grabbing your gifts and embracing the world with it. That's what I like to do. That's for me. That's a thing that I do every day in my life. I was counseling a person. She says well, you have this all together. I said time out. If you think that's the way it's always been, first of all, you're wrong. I said would you want to come to counseling from a person who never had a problem, right Of course ever had a problem, right?

Speaker 1:

Of course I can do this, because I can tell you how I work through it. That's what I'm giving you. Yes, that's part of the process. You refine them in counseling, but you create them, you embrace them in yourself. You're not just teaching a concept, you're teaching the progression through the concept. That's what I'm teaching people.

Speaker 2:

Which is really important. I always say life experience is the greatest educator and I always recommend to people when they're thinking about trying to find a coach or something, you want your coach to have a coach. You don't want a coach that doesn't have a coach, because every good coach knows they're not at the end game. There is no destination. It's a journey and you evolve and you grow and you have to keep going, and so people you know, what should I ask when I'm looking for a coach? That's one of the number one things. You want people that recognize that they're on a journey and their life is creating a lot of experience that they can share and benefit and help others with, but yet they're not done. They want to keep going and keep growing and, just like you, continue to do all this research and all this learning. It's so important. We have to keep learning.

Speaker 1:

And I get that question often what do I look for? And I'll say those things and I'll say make sure they have a tremendous amount of training. You know we have a lot of people who are putting coach on their name today and they've got six months worth of training. And I said, well, if you went going through and can identify with that, but also has the training, because they have to go back and grab things that work tools, and some of the life tools are great, but you don't get life tools later in life. Yes, have them. Have it, ask them what their training is all about, see if they have the degrees from accredited places. And then, have they interned in places? Have they been in the hospital, in the clinics, in all those kinds of things?

Speaker 1:

For me, one of the most important things I draw from it is five years of counseling in a prison. You want to change life. You want to see life stripped down to a lot of its primal stuff and understand what makes a human being work. That's a great place to go. Very few people will you know, but, yes, those types of things get in the trenches. I want to know what your trenches have been all about, but I want to know that you have the education so that you have the reference points that you can go back and get when I get little stuck. I don't want to just know your life experiences, because those were yours. They may not work for me. I want to know, I want the big plan. I want to see that you've got all the tools and you've been in the trenches so you know how to apply them.

Speaker 2:

Working in a prison. That must have been an experience.

Speaker 1:

That was wonderful. You know, I was working in an addiction agency at the time when I was in fire grad school and they asked me if I wanted to go in one day a week for a couple hours see two or three of the inmates. I said sure, why not? So I went in. That was in the cool stage, and then they said, hey, the job is open. Do you want to come and do this? When I thought it over, I said yeah, why not? Let's go. So I remember the first day when all the gates closed behind me.

Speaker 2:

I said what in the world am I doing here?

Speaker 1:

What did I sign up for? And then it became profound. Then it became the type of thing where you see life from so many different angles and you start to realize that bad people yeah, they're evil people but a lot of the people we like to judge are just people. They made some mistakes, they got off track and all I'm doing is guiding them back on the track, giving them a starting block and helping them to go forward. It changes the way you think about people. That was the big thing there.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I would also think that the people that are willing to come and talk to you really want help. So they're a very receptive audience to wanting help. If they are choosing to see you Now, if they're forced to see you, that's a different story, but if they choose to see you, I would think they really are seeking help and direction and guidance.

Speaker 1:

And they are, and that's across the board. People come in for different reasons. You know I always say that the women will call for couples or marriage counseling earlier in the game. When the guy says it gets the divorce paper, that's typically when he called.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

You really want to be here. Well, if I don't't, I'm gonna lose my marriage. I said well, you, you have no idea what you're stepping into with me, because you know I call it for what it is and we're gonna save it, but you're gonna work your butt off. Are you ready for that? And and they're better now. I think guys, guys are calling earlier in the game, but that's that approach where, uh, if I don't have to go, I won't. But then there are the people that say you know, not only do I have to, I got things to fix. I can probably get ahead of my own game here and stop using my old tools. That's a different person to work with.

Speaker 2:

It is Learning new. They're open to the learning and open to the journey, because you have to be vulnerable and you have to be willing to open up in order to make any progress, all right. So you mentioned wellness a couple of times. You talk about wellness in your books. I always love, when I can, to share my guests' wellness routine. So what does your wellness routine look like? For you? It's very fundamental, very basic. I always tell people like.

Speaker 1:

For you it's very fundamental, very basic. I always tell people have a schedule. The body, the mind, everything works well on schedule. Your emotions, everything works well on a schedule. Try to get up the same time every day, go to bed at the same time that night. I understand for some people that's difficult, swing shifts and things like that but try to do that.

Speaker 1:

Fundamentals eating. I put nothing in my body that's not supposed to go there. I'll give you an example. I was watching a film on and the Coke. People are going to love me on this Coca-Cola and how it's such a wonderful cleaning solvent. And everyone who knows me knows that I like elephants so people keep bringing them in. But I had this elephant teapot which is carved, it's ceramic, so it's got all these grooves in the inside. So they said get Coca-Cola with a little baking soda and put it in there and it cleaned it right out. You wouldn't believe. And I said to myself people are putting this in their body. Yep, my point on that I'm being a little funny, but the point is nothing. No sodas, sugars and all that crap. I'm not big on sweets.

Speaker 1:

I put what should go into the human body and that is not based upon what the FDA says or all these organizations. I put the right amount of proteins and starches and I'll be 70 and I'm working out hard every day. That's the other part of it. Six days a week I work out. I do not say, oh, I got to work out, I say yeah, it's my time, and I go down and it's my time to do that. So I have that and I have enrichment, intellectual enrichment, time. I search everything out. If I see a word I don't know, I go get it, that type of thing. So it's passion. Get up at the same time, have my routine that I go through, put the physical things in the body the way they need to be there.

Speaker 1:

A big part of my life is spiritual, so whether it's prayer or it's yoga or whatever it may be, I put those parts in every day. So I'm feeding physical, I'm feeding emotional by fact-finding and not reacting until I know everything. I'm putting the intellectual in. So I keep feeding my brain and spiritual I'm feeding that all day long. When you're doing that, it's really hard not to be happy. I give my body everything it needs to feel good. I have my emotions in check. I have it to the point where something happens and everyone would go, and I just go, oh boy, I go down first and then I say, okay, let's talk about the information. So I'm not getting emotionally crazy and I'm getting all the facts.

Speaker 1:

When I emote, I want to emote on the facts when I'm teaching people, and then I keep my spirit, my essence, if you will, in check and it's a real easy way to work. So that's what my people do when they come in, that's what I'm teaching them Basic, but it's all practical. It's none of this Maharishi meditating in the corner. It is basic, everyday stuff anyone in the world can do. And then you want to throw all the reps gone. That's up to you.

Speaker 2:

Well, and you're talking about balance and you're also talking about making those things a priority in your life, because you can see the importance and how much they help you because you've made those things a priority and that, I think, is something that you know more people need to do and they can learn by example from people like you and me who do make those things a priority and schedule exercise onto their calendar and it is a non-negotiable in life, and you know I mean barring an emergency, but exercise is a non-negotiable. Especially the older we get, the more important it becomes, and weight training and muscle training is so important as we get older and making that a non-negotiable, I think, is so important.

Speaker 1:

You know, you said the right word a moment ago balance. And that's what this is all about those four attributes physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual. When you get those balance and that's what I teach people you keep getting internally stronger. You get to a point where and that's the goal of my programs it's always something I call pure love. It's not just loving yourself and that stuff people are teaching, it's learning how to be powerful inside. You get to a point with the balance that the pure love is there. You love yourself on all levels. But it is a program to get there and you do it every single day of your life. Do it every single day of your life.

Speaker 1:

And what people look at as weaknesses, you know humility and all those they're powerful components in one's life when you learn how to use them. And you get to a point where you know the pandemic came and people were losing it and I say aren't you? And I said no. If it gets to the point that, basically, well, we have no resources, I have to deal with it. If it gets to the point that, basically, we have no resources, I have to deal with it. But in the meantime, this is one more thing that came into my life that I need to deal with, I will use all my resources and make it as good as I possibly can. And I remember saying this person who was getting all the toilet paper and stuff she could get at the time and I said why are you doing this? I said, if you do, people from your family or your church or friend will drop things off on your porch.

Speaker 2:

You'll be okay, you'll have them. You'll be okay, you'll be okay, yeah you will be okay. Yes, let's not think about the worst it wasn't the pandemic that got us.

Speaker 1:

It was our reaction to the pandemic. Correct the fear. Now, in some cases people lost their lives and yes, you have to keep that in mind. It was serious. I don't mean to make fun of it, but overreact. You still keep things in perspective. You'll be strong on the inside. That's the whole thing about the program. Get the outside out of there. It's not outside in that creates who you are, it's inside out. And when you get strong here, the outside changes. It just does.

Speaker 2:

Very true. So how do people find you who are interested in learning more?

Speaker 1:

Best place to find me is my website my name bossbridgegeraldcom. Everything about me is there, the books are there, excerpts from the books are there, media stuff and there is a contact link. If people want to contact me, they can do that. I do get back to people.

Speaker 2:

I love that you have such incredible energy. I have to say, I met you before and we talked before we set this time and you had great energy then, but today, for a Monday with lots of technical difficulties, you have brought it all to the table. So I thank you for that, for the podcast, because you have taken what started out as a very stressful Monday and turned it into really a fun time getting to talk to you. So before I let you go, I always ask all my guests to recommend a book that has impacted themselves, either personally or professionally, that they would recommend to people other than their own. And what book would you like to recommend?

Speaker 1:

I started out as a very, very introspective person. When I was young and a friend of mine came and we were all big kids in high school we went like seven, eight of us went to Jersey Shore for a vacation and he comes out with this book. It was by an author named Herman Hess. Some people will have heard Herman Hess. He's very introspective, can be a little dark, but that's okay. He brings out this book called Damien and I looked at this thing and I said I know him, we had had some deep conversations, we're very good friends. I'll read it then.

Speaker 1:

Well, herman Hesse became my favorite author and he's got a Pulitzer Prize winning author. People might know him. Steppenwolf and Siddhartha, those types of books he wrote all those. In fact, tomorrow I'm an old classic rock guy and the who was my favorite band and Peter Townsend and his wife are putting on a show in England. He's also introspective. He had a song called the Seeker. They're doing a one show at the biggest you know prestigious hall in britain on on, uh, sit on siddhartha, cool it's about. It's a secret concept and they're putting that on. If anyone, if you're interested in just really learning how to turn introspective, anything by herman has a good. The first one I wrote was that I read was Herman Hesse. My favorite would probably be Narcissist in Goldman.

Speaker 2:

Okay, I'm going to link those in the show notes, in addition to all of your books as well, and a link to your website and your bio as well, so that everyone can find you Fost. It's been such a pleasure. Thank you so much. You really are very inspiring and you just have such a unique way to deliver therapy and to deliver help for people, and I'm so excited that I get to share your approach with my audience. So thank you so much for your time and congratulations on your next book.

Speaker 1:

Thank you. It's been a pleasure and the three times it took us to get here was well worth the wait.

Speaker 2:

It was absolutely enjoyable it was so thank you for your patience. I appreciate it. I look forward to your next book coming out and I will read it. So thank you, thank you, have a great day. Thank you for joining us for another episode of the House of Jermar podcast, where wellness starts within. We appreciate you being a part of our community and hope you felt inspired and motivated by our guest. If you enjoyed this episode, please write us a review and share it with friends. Building our reach on YouTube and Apple Podcasts will help us get closer to our mission to empower 1 million women to live all in. You can also follow us on Instagram at House of Jermar and sign up to be a part of our monthly inspiration newsletter through our website, houseofjermarcom. If you or someone you know would be a good guest on the show, please reach out to us at podcast houseofjermarcom. This has been a House of Jermar production with your host, jean Collins. Thank you for joining our house.