House of JerMar

How to Build Confidence After Losing Everything

• Jeanne Collins • Season 2 • Episode 63

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What happens when you lose everything and have nowhere to go but up? Louise Colyer knows that journey intimately. In this profound conversation, Louise reveals how she transformed her life after simultaneously losing her family, home, businesses, and health.

The turning point wasn't dramatic – it began with simply brushing her teeth after months of depression. This small act of self-care sparked a journey that would see Louise lose 52kg, reverse her eating disorders, and build a thriving coaching business helping others develop genuine confidence.

Louise's approach to transformation is refreshingly honest and practical. Rather than focusing on external goals or validation, she guides clients to develop self-love and intuition about what truly makes them feel good. "I get people to literally love themselves and want to do it for themselves, not just for what they look like," she explains. Her holistic method examines spiritual journeys, exercise routines, nutrition, emotional intelligence, and thought patterns to create lasting change.

What makes this episode particularly powerful is Louise's vulnerability about her own struggles. From being bullied as a mixed-race child to feeling like the "black sheep" throughout her life, she shares how these experiences informed her understanding of confidence. Her insights on handling fear by questioning negative thoughts with evidence-based reality checks offer listeners practical tools they can apply immediately.

Louise's story is living proof that transformation doesn't require dramatic interventions or perfect circumstances. It requires consistent small steps, self-compassion, and the courage to listen to your intuition even when it goes against the crowd. Whether you're facing your own rock bottom or simply wanting to build more authentic confidence, this conversation offers both inspiration and actionable wisdom for your journey.

Louise's book recommendation: "You Are A Magnet" by Amber Lyons

More about Louise:

Louise has a powerful passion for helping people regain their confidence and love for themselves—because she’s lived through the journey herself. 
After experiencing deep personal trauma and adversity, she rebuilt her life from the inside out. Through fitness, mindset shifts, and emotional mastery, Louise transformed her pain into purpose. 

Today, she empowers others to rise from their own struggles, guiding them to rediscover their self-worth, rebuild their confidence, and truly love who they are—mentally, emotionally, and physically.

https://www.instagram.com/louiseculyer/


House of JerMar: houseofjermar.com

Empowerment Fundamentals Course: https://members.houseofjermar.com/empowerment-course

Instagram: instagram.com/houseofjermar/
YouTube Channel: youtube.com/@Houseofjermar
Read Jeanne's Book: Two Feet In: Lessons From an All-In Life
WELCOME TO OUR HOUSE!

Speaker 1:

A lot of times people look at people on the outside, especially through social media, and it seems like they have it all together and the distance from where they are to where they want to go is so huge. And I know you as a coach. You really help people with like the steps, Like it's a process.

Speaker 2:

And I always say that they're always waiting for them. But why do you have to wait to be happy, like I reckon right now? If I waited for something else, it was one day I dreamed of having this life. So why am I like, do you know? I mean, enjoy it while you're here, whilst you're still working to progress, but I think people are always focusing on the next thing. They never sit back and actually take in what they've actually got right now. Yeah, that's a big thing.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the House of Jerm podcast where wellness starts within. The House of Germar is a lifestyle brand, empowering women to live all in through interior design and personal wellness. We are a destination for women ready to reimagine what is possible in their homes and lives and then create it. We are honored to have you join us on our mission to empower 1 million women to live all in. I am your host, jean Collins, and I invite you to become inspired by this week's guest.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the House of Germar podcast, where wellness starts within. I'm your host, jean Collins, and today we are going to talk about confidence. I am so excited for this beautiful soul who is my guest today Louise Collier. She's coming. All the confidence. I am so excited for this beautiful soul who is my guest today Louise Collier. She's coming all the way. I'm in Connecticut, she's in the UK. I screwed up the first time we were supposed to record, which is totally my fault, and she is just such an amazingly beautiful soul and I had the greatest time talking to her when we did our pre-call. So I am so excited to bring to you guys her story, everything that she is doing. When I say she is just a badass individual, she is, and just has, a heart of gold. So, louise, thank you for joining us from all the way over in the UK. Hello.

Speaker 2:

Thank you for having me. It's such a pleasure. Honestly, thanks for having me.

Speaker 1:

You are welcome. I am so excited to share your story and I will just give a caveat to everybody. If you know, we don't know how this recording is going to go, so we're going to give it our best shot here and you know, we might break up and have to start again, which is fine, it's all good. This is real life. But her story is so important that it is worth trying to bring it to you. And she is traveling, so she's not even in her home, so I have not afforded her the luxury of her being in her own home. She's traveling, so we're going to talk about that too, and I appreciate her making time while she is traveling. So, to get started, your story is wow, so wow. Would you mind sharing a little bit about your background that has gotten you to where you are today?

Speaker 2:

Okay, I don't actually know where to start because there's so many elements.

Speaker 2:

So if you start from, like when I was very, very young, I never really fit in. I was bullied for being mixed race, I was different out of the family, I never really had like any identity and I used to grow up really really quickly, quickly, and this kind of followed me through my life, through like my marriage. Um, I married into a Mauritian family, so again, I was kind of like the black sheep out of the family and a lot of bullying was happening, not just in that, but like in childhood and everything. And the point where life got really really tough, the point where at the same time I lost all, all my family, like my mom, my dad, my brother, my husband, my dog, my home, my businesses, a baby, all at the same time. And then we went into COVID and at this point I was really unhappy. I was actually a size 24, very overweight. I really hated myself. I was like I just couldn't stand anything and at that point I didn't have anything except myself being unhealthy.

Speaker 1:

That is a serious low. You losing everything is a serious low. So our listeners might not be at a low that's quite as low as yours was. However, you were able to come out of your low, so what? And it's COVID which is a low for everybody.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, exactly, so you have the double low.

Speaker 1:

So what did you do? What were the first steps that you started to take to come out of this incredible low?

Speaker 2:

I always say there wasn't something dramatic that actually happened to me to make me like, okay, I want to change this around. It was very gradual, so like I didn't need like when I actually I found like a room and I stayed. Eventually I stayed in a room and it was like this moldy room. Um, I was, I didn't leave the house for like three, four months but eventually one of my friends was texting me all the time saying, get up, get a wash, doing like basic things. And just one day I listened and then just like this is going to sound disgusting, but I brushed my teeth and I had a wash and I just felt better.

Speaker 2:

And then from there I started like introducing like 10 minutes of exercise here, there and everywhere and that, just that, just like focusing on myself and realizing me doing something for myself, because obviously for my whole life I'd looked after other people. I never knew who I did. My whole life was dedicated to other people. This was the first time I'd actually done something to make me feel better and it kind of like I grew a lot of self-love, a lot of self-confidence over the years from just that point where I was like, oh my God, that wash has actually made me feel fresh without realizing, going from that Like I feel a bit fresh now, like I actually feel good without having all of these people and having all of that.

Speaker 1:

So it was just the simplest of thing that started it. Obviously it wasn't just that, yep, but you're not the first guest I've had on that has said that. I had another guest on during season one who was also, you know, very overweight and was overweight and had a drinking problem and was at a very low point and she said hers started with taking a vitamin and then her next step was having a face routine, washing her face. And it sounds so simple. Yet at the same time, when you're in that low, the act of doing something for yourself, as small as that is and as simple as that is, can be what starts you onto an entire journey of personal wellness.

Speaker 2:

Honestly, the change in just having a wash I don't know, that sounds crazy is amazing. So this is why, with like an appliance or anybody, I recommend what can you do right now, Like you don't have to look for anything significant. Now there is something that you can do to lift yourself up immediately. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Which is a really important point because we are, we live in a society. That's like I will be happy when I will feel better about myself, when I will go to the gym and exercise, when this happens and when a lot of times people look at people on the outside, especially through social media, and it seems like they have it all together and the distance from where they are to where they want to go is so huge.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I know you as a coach.

Speaker 1:

You really help people with like the steps, like it's a process.

Speaker 2:

And I always say that they're always waiting for them. But why do you have to wait to be happy, like I reckon right now? But if I waited for something else, it was one day I dreamed of having this life. So why am I like, do you know? I mean, enjoy it while you're here, whilst you're still working to progress. But I think people are always focusing on the next thing.

Speaker 1:

So talk to me about exercise, because you've lost a ton of weight. How did that happen?

Speaker 2:

like I said, started very, very small in this like moldy room 10 minutes, 10, 20 minutes started there and then I started. So I previously I was in the army, I used to box. I used to be very, very athletically fit but then, through like mental health and everything, I did gain a lot of weight and so I was completely opposite to what I used to be. But every single time I got like athletically fit. Last time it was because of an external thing, it was because I wanted to look good or I had like a boxing match or I had something to actually work towards. So this time it was like losing COVID and I was like I've got nothing, I can't do any of them, it's just literally for me.

Speaker 2:

So I started just doing exercise in my room when the gym started to um open. I just started going to the gym, started eating healthier, starting doing little things, and it wasn't because I used to suffer with um eating disorders, even from a child, like I used to have like binge eating disorder. I used to like hide food, so I'd go from one end of the spectrum to the other so like I didn't eat next to nothing or I'd eat absolutely everything. So I've been really, really thin. I don't like saying skinny, but like not very big. I've been very small and I've been very, very big from each spectrum, but this is the first time I learned how to use my intuition about how my body feels, what was good for me, what wasn't good for me, and eat from that. And I just lost weight because I started to love myself and I wanted to exercise.

Speaker 2:

And I think there's a massive difference from doing it from an external goal to actually wanting to feel good or wanting to just be healthy and just have a better life for yourself, whereas all the other times I trained or anything, it was just because I wanted to look good or I had a boxing mat or a run or something.

Speaker 2:

So it wasn't. Until I lost my whole identity and I was learning how to love myself, I was like, oh my god, exercise is actually really good for me, these foods are good for me, and then that's how I naturally lost like 52 kg without and I reversed, like, my eating disorder. So like, obviously, like, sometimes I get a little bit of triggers but you work through them and it's a really good thing because I never I wasn't aware of that in the past I just thought this is what I do, but now I'm so aware of what I'm doing, I just love how it makes me feel, and I think learning to love how you feel because you deserve it, that's what changed me and that's why I love exercise more than what I used to.

Speaker 1:

So I have a question and I don't know what the answer is going to be to this question, but as I'm listening to you talk, I can visualize the you back then, right, the overweight. I've lost everything. You don't have a lot of self confidence. Trying to find that self love is so difficult. So when you were that person and you looked in the mirror at yourself, what did you see?

Speaker 2:

That's a really difficult question because I don't think I actually did see myself, because from a young age I was always like looking after like my mum, or I was looking after my brother. As I grew up, I always had something else to focus on. I don't think I ever focused it on me. So when I did look in the mirror I think I don't actually know it was someone completely different.

Speaker 2:

So I straightened my hair for the first time last year or was it this year, something like that and I literally looked in the mirror and first time I haven't straightened my hair since before Covid or then Covid times when I'd lost everything and I literally cried because I didn't recognize that person, and so that was the first time I straightened it from them. So I don't actually remember what I seen. I just remember how I felt. I just remember hiding and crying because I never fit into my clothes on my birthday and stuff like that, but I don't actually remember what I seen. But when I seen that girl in the mirror when I straightened my hair, I didn't like it.

Speaker 1:

It brought back those memories, yeah, so.

Speaker 2:

I'm not going to straighten my hair.

Speaker 1:

So when did you learn about confidence? Did you know at the time that you didn't have a lot of self-confidence and that you had to figure out how to build that? Or did confidence come later?

Speaker 2:

No, I actually generally thought I was confident. I thought I was shy because I was never able to speak to more than two people at a time without sweating and stuff. I thought I was generally shy. So I thought there was some areas where I didn't have confidence and but then I always I knew. I knew I had confidence to achieve things because I came from literally nothing.

Speaker 2:

But then they told me to quit uni to be a teacher. But I was like I'm going to do this. So like, deep down I was like I'm still going to do it. So like I still managed to do it. Like people saying, are you not going to earn a lot? So I built a businesses, I did things. I always had the confidence that I could do it. But when it actually came out and looked like I didn't have confidence and so I think it was more of a battle inside. Deep down I've always had it in me which I didn't know because I wouldn't have been able to achieve what I had. But then I had to learn how to really really know that I was confident. It was just some sort of friction inside of me that I didn't even know.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and you had to work through that. Yeah, how did you do that? Did you get help from other people? Books, podcast, like how do you do?

Speaker 2:

that, looking at my life on a bird's eye perspective, like literally looking at, like my spiritual journey, my exercise and what I'm putting into my body and emotional intelligence, how am I reacting to things? And looking and this is, do you know, like your habits, your positive habits and what you're actually doing, I noticed how I am actually a really positive person and seeing how I was different, around different people, in different areas, certain things I could feel off. And that's when I was noticing I was just like I'm only like this in this area. This isn't right for me and I learned why. And then now, when I go into these certain environments or around these people, I know how to handle it, whereas before I was just like I didn't understand what all these feelings were. I didn't understand why I felt like that. So I just saw it within me. But I just didn't understand because I was, when you're around certain things and growing up, quite different. But I learned how to navigate the emotions. It was just literally looking at what made me feel good and just changing my perspective on things.

Speaker 2:

So in my head of when you've been told certain things from a child, so you take that through your adulthood, so you have to kind of like not reverse, but your thoughts and your brain are like a muscle. So you have to kind of like not reverse, but your thoughts and your brain are like a muscle. So you have to kind of like subconsciously change your thoughts and work on your thoughts. It's just like a muscle. So like I was noticing, like sitting back when I was with people, the thoughts I was having about myself possibly wasn't even thinking that. And this is where you have to change your thought patterns. Just as you would. We all go to the toilet, we flush the toilet, we brush our teeth every morning. We have more habits and thought patterns we have in our subconscious mind than we do in real life, but nobody actually becomes aware of them. So I've really gone into the subconscious and like what am I telling myself every single day? Because that's what I'm listening to the most Did you meditate?

Speaker 1:

Is that part of your practice?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I meditate every day. I do journal, but I don't journal, so like I like writing some positive thoughts, so like, if I'm having, I like to like. I don't really like journaling as such. I like to like positive things that have happened in the day. What's going to happen tomorrow? Walking I literally love walking First thing in the morning. I will either go for a walk or I'll go straight to the gym. I always set off my day without speaking to anybody else and doing something for myself for the first hour and and just, yeah, making sure I surround myself with like-minded people.

Speaker 2:

I think your environment really makes a massive difference. So, like I've said, I've just left my own home. So like people are saying, oh, you can come, stay here. But there's been times I'm like no, it's okay, I've chose somewhere where I feel like the environment's nice for me and even though there's not much space but the people are lovely, like the energy is nice it's. You've got to be really careful and you've got to be able to have confidence. If it's not the right energy for you, you have to walk away from it, no matter the consequences, because that's what's going to hold you back and then you become a part of that yeah all, so true.

Speaker 1:

Wow. So how did your business start? Did it start from exercise? How did it start when?

Speaker 2:

I started to love exercise because what it was doing for me, rather than what I was starting to look like, like how it was changing my life and the perspective I was having on life. I was like, right, I can help, I knew I was going to change. I was starting to look like like how it was changing my life and the perspective I was having on life. I was like, right, I can help, I knew I was going to change. I was actually a dentistry teacher at that time, was in COVID and I was like this doesn't feel right. I know I'm going to be doing something different and I thought it was either going to be helping people or animals. I started doing my PT and and I literally loved it. But then I the way I learned to love exercise was I started to lose weight because I love doing it for myself, whereas notice, when I was a PT which I am still a PT you can easily give someone a program.

Speaker 2:

Easily, you can look at somebody, give them a program, tell them meal plan, whatever it is, but getting somebody to want to do it for themselves is a completely different thing. They will do it for a few months, they might get bored and they'll be like oh well, I've got into my dress now and it will just be like, and it will just go to the back burner. I want people to want to love themselves enough, confident enough that they can take it into life. So I did like psychology and health and fitness NLP I did. I've done a few things that like help with like the brain and all of these things. So I get people to literally love themselves and want to do it for themselves, not just for what they look like and what they think they should look like, rather than comparing themselves on social media and stuff. So getting people to want to change their life for the better for them.

Speaker 1:

It's not just about the exercise and the nutrition. You're doing the whole mind, body, spirit, soul connection. It's not just about because we all know exercise. Everyone knows exercise is good for you, everyone knows that eating healthy is good for you. We know these things. I love that you focus so much more deeply on the why behind why people do these things and really getting them to change.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and looking at it as a bird's eye perspective, like, if you look, even if somebody goes to the gym five times a week, that's only five hours. You've still got 165 hours of the week. So I look at all of that as well because like, yeah, you can have a great time in the five hours, but you can still be really unhappy at home or in your work or something like that, which then has that negative effect. Like, you want to balance it out. If you're working well, it should flow throughout your whole life. So I became like a life coach of doing my master's and doing like there's just like it all comes as one. It's like a whole cycle. You can't focus on one and everything. So, yeah, that's, exercise just starts things. You start to feel it, you start to look at things differently because you're feeling better. So that's how it started.

Speaker 1:

And then it grew into this whole business. So if someone asked you, you know what do you do, how do you, how do you describe what you do?

Speaker 2:

This is really hard because it depends on what the client is, but I literally help people believe in themselves, give them the confidence through whatever that is. I help them get whatever they want aesthetically make them feel healthier either put weight on, lose weight and make them feel good. Get them confident in whatever they want to do in the gym. I also like look at their life as a life coach and, as they like help with their thought patterns, nlp, like um, subconsciously like, okay, we're all living cycles. They're like if they're saying to me oh, I always do weight, but then I always do this. Okay, why do we always do that? It goes back from somewhere else. There I do, I break cycles, I build the confidence from what they're already doing and eventually they are. My clients are starting businesses. They're losing weight, they're getting, they're getting yeah, yeah, they're getting a raise.

Speaker 1:

Promotion.

Speaker 2:

They're getting all of these things as well as like actually loving it, spending, like making time for the gym, learning, like like their children are following their footsteps now, like they're making making, like it's just absolutely amazing, like before they were they felt bad for going to the gym because they had a child or they were always tired from work or they didn't think they could have the business, they couldn't have this. But but from doing tiny little things and just literally looking, sitting back and looking like their life and what they've always been through, and like we just change it completely. Sometimes it takes, sometimes it can be quite quick, sometimes it can be progressive, depending on the client, but yeah, there's been massive life changes physically, mentally, spiritually, in the not just the client, the whole family, and you can see how it's just like a domino effect. They become more vibrant, the whole family life becomes more vibrant. They're getting pay rises, businesses are opening.

Speaker 2:

It's just great and I feel so happy, I feel honored. So obviously I went through a lot, but I'm not happy it happened. I'm so thankful it happened because I've got all this life experience so I can actually resonate with my clients when they're going through something. And whatever happened wouldn't have led me to where I am now. So I'm just honored that it happened and it's opened so many opportunities in my heart, because I know how it feels when you're doing certain things like I just I get, just get so happy, like it just makes everything, everything you've been through, it just makes it worth it, like I'm feeling better. But on top of that I'm making so many other people feel better as well, like if I can do it, coming like practically homeless to where I am now and uplifting my life. I know they can do it and once you believe it, it happens, and that's what happens with them. They believe it and then you take the action. As soon as you believe in yourself, you're going to take action.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it snowballs, yes, and people need to go follow you on Instagram because you post so many inspiring, inspirational things about how you did go through this journey and how you did transform, and I love that. You are really a coach of life and trying to help people with the bigger picture of life, and exercise and nutrition is part of it and mindset is part of it. It's it's, to me, is so impactful that you have this gift and I always say, as a coach, we learn so much from our clients, like our clients also teach us, and it's such a gift to be a coach because it's a two way street. You know, you get from them and you see their growth and that growth helps you grow as well as a coach. So it is as you said it is a gift to be able to do this for a living.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I was literally talking about that today, actually talking about how, even as a coach, we are still human. So, like, we all have had like days where you're like, oh, could do with a lion today and different stuff like this. But then when it has been days where my clients have actually uplifted my day and I'm like, oh, it doesn't ground me, and I'm like they've actually grounded me a few times when they've had their wins or something like that, and I'm like I literally love this. So it does actually work both ways. When they're having a good day, I'm having a good day, it's just amazing. So you're kind of all in the same boat. So, yeah, I'm so thankful for my clients like, and because they they trust me.

Speaker 2:

Like I went through a phase of, oh, my god, these clients trust me with their life. Because it's a very personal thing, isn't it? The things they say to you and like, especially as a PT, and like, um, some of the trauma things that we might have to uncover and things. It's very personal and I just sit there like, did this person like trust me? They haven't even met me and I'm just like, yeah, I generally feel honored and I'm like, when I see them get the wins. I think I get more emotional because they don't actually. Sometimes you don't remember how far you've gone, myself included, until someone reminds you and they're like, oh yeah, and I get more emotional because they don't see themselves like that, but I still see them like that, so it's good.

Speaker 1:

Yes, it's so powerful. It's powerful. So you have written two books which we must discuss. So you have written two books. What made you decide you wanted to start to write and become an author?

Speaker 2:

so I didn't actually decide to write. A lot of people were telling me so, like there's snippets in my life where we haven't really discussed, but there's like bits of my life and everyone's like you should just write a book, you should write a book. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. And then I was like, yeah, I just let that go past. But then, like I was just like do you know what? Because I noticed with my coaching how much I was actually helping people. And so mum was like it actually did come across.

Speaker 2:

So I actually put across I was going to write a book and I put it on my vision board. I had a mindset coach and then, before you know it, I'm having an interview with this guy called Marco and he was like actually I was just putting my house up for sale, I was going to go traveling and I was going to write a book and all of this stuff. And then he was like actually we're looking for people that have turned their life around, that want to help other people, and we're doing a world book tour as well. And I was just like I've literally just written that on my vision board, like a few weeks ago, and I was like, oh my God, this is just like other people telling me to do this.

Speaker 2:

So that's the first book so where it's like a little bit of my life, like there's so many amazing other co-authors that I'm writing with have had like similar experiences or completely different experiences where they've had an experience in life where they've had to turn their life around. So that's what that one is, and so it's just that book's more motivational. If we can do it, you can do it. And then the second book that I'm doing is a solo one by myself. It's an experience of like thankful that everything happens and just like all the steps I've taken to literally turn my life around from literally nothing like mentally, physically, financially, spiritually, absolutely everything, and steps on how you can flip that around, where to go and how to move up. Really. So it's more of a guide, but through my own experiences qualifications.

Speaker 1:

It's giving your coaching experience to a much broader audience. Yeah, exactly is what it's, what it's doing, which is incredible.

Speaker 2:

It's like what I'm providing to my clients now, but through a book.

Speaker 1:

Right, so you can reach a much broader audience by doing that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, which is really powerful. Someone reads that book, it can save their life. It saved my life just by doing certain things. I've been in hospitals mental hospitals I've been. In all that. I've saved my own life and I know that I can save so many people's lives, that I've tried to save my own life and I know that I can save so many people's lives physically and mentally. So I used to be scared of talking out about my personal stuff, but now I'm like you know what this can actually help so many people.

Speaker 1:

Yes, it can. So you just mentioned the word scared because I was going to ask you how do you deal with fear? Because there is fear when you go to try something new, do something new, start a new business, write a book, all the things that you're doing. There can be a lot of fear, and there also can be a lot of fear around imposter syndrome, Like why does anyone care what I have to say or what I've done? So what do you personally do to help yourself battle those fears?

Speaker 2:

The first fear is just an emotion. Every single emotion is going to come and go. I always do that. Every single emotion is going to come and go, but I always do that and the emotion is always attached to the thought. The thought is something that's probably imposter syndrome I can't do this, I can't do that. So then I battle with that and learn how to deal with the emotion. You either use it or you let it run you. So I use that emotion and put it into something good, either gym, into my work, into good things, and then with the thought processes, so like this is going to fail.

Speaker 2:

Why would people want to listen to me? I always counterbalance it. Is that actually true? Why don't people want to listen to me? Has anybody told me they don't want to listen to me? Well, actually no, a lot of people have told me they do want to listen to me and I'm actually helping them. So it's just like is that just my head telling me that, or is it somebody else physically saying that?

Speaker 2:

If I'm in subconsciously, I always say I can't do this, and probably it comes out my mouth sometimes as well, but then I'll look at like I've done so many other things. Why can't I do this? Like you've proved yourself wrong every single time. So if you've got active thoughts, I literally just counter like write them down. It's as simple. Like you can do it on the spot. Like just write it down, is that actually true? Back it up with a fact and then, obviously, with the motion, just understand this is just an emotion. You've got through every other bad day. You've got through a lot worse than this and just recognizing anything that you do that is, the first rep is going to be uncomfortable and but you've got to love. You've got to learn to love that, because that's where you grow the most. So if you don't do that, you're just going to stay in one place. So you kind of have to like use it. Use it to your ability, like you kind of get used to it yeah.

Speaker 1:

So you mentioned a couple things I think are so important. It's like you have to be aware. You have to be aware of those thoughts, you have to question whether they're based in facts or not, which I love. I've had multiple guests come on the show talking about you know the facts behind the story that we tell ourselves which is so powerful, right? So often our narrative is not actually based in fact if we really challenge ourselves for the facts. And then you talked about emotion, which I love, because I've also had lots of guests come on the show talking about the importance of feeling the emotion and working through the emotion, and you made such a great point about trying to take that emotion and not stuff it down, and find a way to positively channel that emotion of fear.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, a massive thing. And I think having some sort of emotional intelligence is always good as well, because when you're in emotion, sometimes you don't make the right decision. So you've got to learn, when you are in emotion, to just like sit back, use the emotion and put it into the right place, rather than you can either use it for a positive thing or you can do it for a reactive thing, so like say, if you were I don't know't know for an example, you was in an argument with a partner or something you can've got the option. You can either say something from the emotion that might go backfire, or you can sit down, look at it, reflect and be like, actually, what's that? What am I actually learning from this?

Speaker 2:

And this is what I always try and do. If I'm feeling something uncomfortable, rather than reacting, I'll be like, okay, what can I learn from this? What's happening? Am I, am I in too emotional? Like what's going on? So when you are feeling some sort of emotion, you don't like it's perfect, like, okay, this is time for me to learn something, what I'm learning rather than react. So learn and then react when you've literally looked at yourself first.

Speaker 1:

Right Take a pause look inward first. Yes, Such good advice. So what does a day in your life look like?

Speaker 2:

I always start the day by myself, so I will either be going if it's a rest day I'll be going for a walk, like literally in nature. Sometimes I have a podcast on, sometimes I'll just be listening to vinyl or being sort of literally nothing and and then I will head to the gym. So I always start my day with doing something for myself and then come back I will check in with all of my clients and then, depending on what day it is, I'll either be doing calls I'll be seeing clients face-to-face, I'll be speaking to people I don't know, it all depends on business at that point, but yeah, and then I'll be taking for myself regularly. I'll be taking regular walks myself regularly. I'll be taking like regular walks or just like every few hours just going back to myself, but predominantly after that I'll be with clients or reading before bed or something like that.

Speaker 1:

So the key takeaway to me of what you said is that throughout the day, you have little doses of things that you do that are all about you and all about fueling you. It's not just you know the one and done in the beginning of the day, which is great, and your morning routine, I think, is so important, but you have all these other ways throughout the day that you infuse things that make you feel good with you and infuse ways for you to get in touch with yourself.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, definitely. Like I've literally got it scheduled into my diary, like I've got, I've got color combinations yellow is my personal time and then, like you've got, purple and red, depending on what it is, and for like, client time and different things. So I always start the day off with yellow and then, like you'll see, like throughout the day I'll be like, right, I'm going for a walk here, I'm going to have my lunch here, I'm going to do this. So I know, like I know that no matter how busy I get, whatever, whatever comes up in life, I know I can just go reset myself and then I'll come back fresh. That will always happen, no matter what I'm doing.

Speaker 2:

Even like I went to Scotland for an event, every single event I've actually been to, I've been to a few. They've been really long events, really long events. I have literally stood up and gone and take myself for an hour's break because, like, I've just started to feel like again getting tired now and people have come up to me and they're you, okay, and I'm like, yeah, I'm just taking a breather, like I'm just relaxing, and then I'll be back and they're like, oh, okay, but I've done it for every single event. I think it's so important just to be, just to come back to yourself. Yeah, recharge yourself. Yeah, that's the one. Recharge myself, and then I go back feeling fresher and like look for it again. But I feel like if I'm constantly going and going and going, it just pulls you down a little bit. You do need to to be your authentic self, you need to know who you are, and I'll constantly be charging so I perform better when I get that time by myself or doing something for myself. So that's a that's a must yeah.

Speaker 1:

Well, and you also mentioned something that I think is important. That ties back into the confidence which is what we started the conversation with, which is having the confidence to do that in an environment where not everybody else is doing that, and being confident enough and knowing what you need for yourself to be your optimal self and being fine saying, yeah, I'm going to go step out for an hour. And that takes a lot of confidence to not be swayed, to have to, you know, suffer through, let's say right Power through, stack it up, suffer through and to do something that other people might not be doing, but yet you're making choices that are the best choices for you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, the past me would have never done that. I wouldn't have even been aware that I was getting tired or like this is quite a lot. Now it's just like. Now I've learned to be my authentic self. I'm confident and making myself like great. I can literally just say no, this is good for me.

Speaker 2:

Right now, if something doesn't align with what I know, that's good for me. I am so confident in saying it's okay, thank you, it's a way you say it. But like, I'm so confident in saying I'm walking away or saying this is going to actually do better for me, whereas before I was in so many situations that made me feel not great because I didn't have the confidence to speak up for myself, whereas now I'm just, I don't say any, I don't like say anything badly, but I'll just be like I think this will just benefit me or this isn't feeling right, and then that's that, like it doesn't. It doesn't have to be anything deep. Really. You just got to say actually I prefer it this way, right yeah, getting comfortable saying no, something as basic as no that's.

Speaker 2:

I talk about that a lot with my clients because you can see a lot of people do live a life with people pleasing, and that's I didn't. I lived my whole life doing that, hence what led to that. So saying no can be really, especially if, yeah, if you've always done it. It's hard because you feel like you get the thoughts like, oh, what are they thinking about, what are they doing? Like you get a lot of thoughts like the backlash in your head, not even maybe from them, from your head, yeah, and you have to be confident and just be like if, but who are you saying it to? They should have your best interest as well. If they don't have your interests, then you've got to question them.

Speaker 1:

Right, then you don't want them in your life and, like you said before, so much of this, it's like a muscle. The more you practice the things that you're talking about to help build your confidence, the easier it becomes. And then you don't even second guess or question or think about the idea of saying no when someone asks you to do something or wants you to. You know, go do this and you're like you know that just doesn't align and you don't even question it. It just becomes the way of life. Yeah exactly.

Speaker 2:

I've always been like that. If it doesn't align, I didn't know. I was like that. If it felt funny, like inside, even when I was younger, I was like this didn't feel right. Or somebody says says how do you make decisions? I always used to. When I had, I was really I was very unaware of things. I was just like I don't know, I just follow my feelings and I never knew what that meant until I learned it. And and then people used to say, like the people I was around were like you're always causing a fuss because you don't just get on with it and you don't. And I'm like but it doesn't feel right. And I never knew why things didn't feel right until I've learned to like right, right, okay, listen to. Every single time I haven't listened to my feelings or my intuition, it's led me down the wrong path and it's led to a bad ending. So listening to your intuition is the best thing.

Speaker 1:

That is probably being aware of your intuition the biggest thing it's a huge gift and takes time to learn also as well. Just for everybody who's listening. It doesn't happen overnight. It is a learned skill and everyone's intuition speaks to them in different ways. Also, not everybody's intuition speaks to them as loudly or in the same way. I've met people that are like oh, my intuition comes in pictures. I see pictures, I see things, and then there's the meaning in what I see. So it's different for everybody and it is a learned skill. How do your clients find you? They love me, but how do people find you Like? How?

Speaker 1:

you know I know I found you. No, I know they love you. You have the most incredible energy. And I know I found you on Instagram and I don't know if you were following me or I was following you or there was some way that I started following you and I was like, wow, her energy is just really positive and I just was really drawn to your energy and the content you were putting out there. So how do your clients normally find you the same?

Speaker 2:

Quite a few of my clients have come from word of mouth through current clients. However, they've seen me change their life. I've had a few from there, and then the rest has been social media. I used to work in a gym and I used to get clients from there, and so it is predominantly social media.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, which I love that, because social media is a hard way to make a living folks. But your content is really real and authentic, so it draws the right people to you, which is also really important that you are being authentically you and you are attracting the right people into your life. Are there days that you just look at your life and you think I can't even believe that this is my life and that these are the people that are in it?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, quite frequently, like I'm just, I'm just like this, like I love my life. I don't know, I can't imagine it any other way, but when I actually do look back, I'm just like how much it's changed. Like so everything. Like when I used to teach full time and stuff, I used to have like this on a Friday night I was been so tired I fall asleep by nine o'clock. Saturday would I'd probably go out drinking Sunday, but oh my god, it's work again tomorrow, but now it's just like flow of niceness throughout the whole week.

Speaker 2:

Obviously I'm busy, but I literally get up. I love getting up and doing what I do and I never thought I would actually get up and do that. So, yeah, it's, you have to check in. Like. Yeah, like my life now the opportunity I never thought I'd have, the opportunity that I have now coming from where I've come from and and just literally love that. I feel so thankful that I get to do this for a job. I don't know, I don't know how to explain it. Like I get up and I am actually generally thankful I get to go to the gym and then I get to help other people feel good, like that's just an amazing job. I don't actually know how else to say it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. And what's also amazing for people, if you don't remember the beginning of the story, this has all happened in like five years, which is not a long time to have completely transformed your life.

Speaker 2:

It's not. And if I think about how far I've come just in five years, I always think, wow, where could I be in another five years? Like I am so excited. Like I've never had excitement for the future before. I used to be getting like excited for a night out or seeing my friend or something like that. Now my vision is huge. Like I actually call myself delusional because like now I've seen how quickly I can turn things around, where I could be in five years if I told people probably be delusional and they'll be like what?

Speaker 1:

so no, but that's how you create it. So what's on your bucket list? What big things do you want to do?

Speaker 2:

I want to reach as many people as I can because I know I've got potential I can help. I already am helping a lot of people. I know I can help people and I'm such a big perspective of literally the way they look at themselves. Self-love is absolutely everything and having the confidence for themselves. I don't think that's enough and so I can. That's my biggest thing is getting that word out and being more confident on stage. So I've started doing like what's called like I'm on classes in international speaking now. So, yeah, I want to get not more confident because I'm good, I I'm confident that I'm going to do it, but I want to get better at it. You know, like when you've I've done, I've done it. Now I'm like okay, I can improve on this bit. I can improve on this bit totally.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, my podcast. I only just started that like a couple of months ago. I can't wait to see that. Where that is in a year or two. Travelling, yeah, just I don't know. Like literally so many things. I'm going to start with my own workshops. I'm going to do my own. I don't know. There's just so many things. And I've got business ideas with other people. Yeah, like literally, there's so many different things going on so I can't say because someone asked me this before and I said before I could give you a definitive answer. But now, because I've seen how quickly I can change my life, how things change rapidly, I could like I don't, maybe I don't even know what's going to come, because it's just I never believed I would be where I am now so I couldn't tell you like I could be somewhere else completely next year.

Speaker 1:

I love that because I actually have said the same thing very recently, when asked that same question and I did an exercise in 2024 of projecting where it would be in 2027. And where I am in 2025 looks nothing like the path I thought I was going to be on to 2027. And so for me, I said when I was asked that same question I honestly cannot even imagine where I will be in 2027. I really can't. And that's not a bad thing. I think in some ways it removes the attachment to trying to do the things to progress into the future. It allows an opening of the possibilities because when you're living in a space that's so creative and so purpose-driven, it's hard to say and you don't necessarily even want to limit yourself because I'm like you. If people really heard what I said I wanted to do in 2027, they'd be like, yeah, okay, whatever.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, this is what I thought.

Speaker 1:

But you're not. You're not crazy at all, because there's nothing wrong with having these big dreams. And who's to say like, why not, why not? And if it doesn't start with you believing in yourself and having the mindset that it's possible, how is anyone else ever going to believe in themselves either? You know like it has to start with you. All of it starts with you.

Speaker 2:

And if you always say I'm going to do this in this year, I'm going to do this in this year, you end up actually saying no to things. I remember I was getting in a cycle of just doing things like day to day and I could see myself. Actually I have had a lot of opportunities. I was complaining to myself oh yeah, I've done this, I've done this and I didn't know about these. But you've actually said no a few times because you wanted to get there. So like yeah, I was just like right, opportunities are coming. But you just haven't said yes.

Speaker 2:

So like I went into this year, like this year I'm going to say yes. Now I'm just I've got no home. Like now I can see that opportunities are here. So if you say you're going to be somewhere, you kind of shut yourself off from other opportunities. But if you are kind of like do you know what? I don't actually know, I'm open to ideas you kind of go with what feels good to you and you right, you go more. So I don't like saying I'm definitely going to be here in 2026 because I don't know. I don't even know I'm going to be at the end of September, so I know what I'm going to be doing is my purpose. I know what my purpose is, but how I'm going to do it, I don't know.

Speaker 1:

Which I love. I couldn't agree more. I think you were so right. And I had someone who was also a coach, who was a guest on my show, say you know, if you're saying like, okay, here's the future mark, and this is an example for people, here's the future mark. I want to make $2 million by this year, who's to say you might miss the opportunity? That's the $4 million opportunity. Because you are so focused on where that one path is that the opportunity. You might miss the opportunity, or you might say yes to the wrong opportunity opportunity, or you might just be telling the universe that's the opportunity I want, that's the lane I want, and then it's closing off the openness energetically to a bigger, different lane down.

Speaker 2:

Well, you don't have to do this. But sometimes, where you have um a journal, someone will say write down how much you want to earn. Write down what you want to do. I'd never actually know, because how do I know? What field am I gonna like? I'm not gonna do. You see what I mean I do. That is an area I do struggle with, because if I say that, am I limiting? It is that when you're talking about manifesting the same, be specific in what you want. But then you, you might admit that I'm very open and what will come is already coming for me anyway. So I'm a big believer in that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, no, I agree with you. I struggle with that exact same thing, because all the books say write down exactly what you want. And I'm like but if I'm too specific, I need to be specific, but if I'm too specific, maybe I really am closing off the opportunity, especially when it comes to finances. So I've started focusing myself personally on freedoms. I want to achieve freedoms. I want freedom financially, I want freedom of creativity, I want freedom to own my own time, the freedom to choose my relationships, the freedom to choose where I live, and trying to really tap into the energy for me of freedom and have that be my focus.

Speaker 1:

Because how I achieve those freedoms who's to say that how I think I'm going to achieve those freedoms is how I'm going to achieve those freedoms? Because then you also. I found I also set myself up for disappointment and feeling like I failed when I was like, okay, I'm going to achieve that freedom by selling this and doing this and generating revenue here and here. It's going to come from here, here and here. And then, when you don't, you feel like you failed and that's not a good feeling either.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, yeah, no-transcript along that you have to learn, because you probably wouldn't be able to handle that figure. Something bigger is coming, but you needed to learn how you, how you was going to actually work with it when it actually did come in. So so everything happens for a reason, and so to go with the flow.

Speaker 1:

Yes, exactly, flow, flow and fly my mantra for the year. Flow and fly. All right, so we've taken so much of your time. So before we go, I always love to ask my guests if there's a book that they have read that has impacted them personally or professionally that they would like to recommend to the listeners, because I believe books change lives. We will obviously write into the show notes about your upcoming books so that people can get them when they both come out later this year, but what book would you like to recommend people go and dig into?

Speaker 2:

I love a book called you Are a Magnet that I literally love that. I know it's called it's from Amber Lyons. It's not a very recognized book, like it's not somewhere like amber lions. It's not a very recognized book like it's not somewhere. Like you know, you've got like the power of now. You've got all of these, like everybody's read these.

Speaker 2:

But you are a magnet. Not many people have read that. It's all about your world. Is you on the inside, like it's just reflecting. It's just always that literally it's just that she always. It just reminds you to if something's going wrong or something's like in real your relationships, your finances, something like that. It's always like that is a reflection of you. So you are a magnet. You attract what you are not like. So it's just a really.

Speaker 2:

I've read it so many times now just because sometimes it's just good to just write. Do you know what? It just makes you remember to whatever's going on, to go inwards. Hence the reason I always go in with every few hours. And, first thing, it's just a really good book. So it's Amber Lions, you Are a Magnet, and it's literally explaining how your world is. Just that you're just looking at yourself on an outside perspective. That's basically what it teaches you and it just I've read it so many times now it just, it's just as a reminder, it's just like an easy read, it's a reminder to go inwards and why. And it's I just it. So I've read like lots of books, but I think that's just like an easy read and it's just a really good reminder.

Speaker 1:

I am going to have to read that, because it is a philosophy that I truly believe that we're all just energy and that if you're unhappy with what's going on on the outside, you need to look on the inside, and that we like attracts like, and.

Speaker 1:

But I love a new read, so thank you, I'm going to check that one out because sometimes even those of us who could sit on social media and say we have amazing lives like. Every day is not sunshine and roses, folks, and we struggle with all the same things and the challenges and having to get the right mindset, and just you know, it's a process, it's a journey, it's something that we love to do, but it doesn't mean that we're not actively, proactively, having to do all these things every day in our own lives as well.

Speaker 2:

We are all still human. We're all just energy balls and just like trying to bring good energy to the world. I think things like that is great.

Speaker 1:

She's on Instagram as well, I'm going to go follow her. That is so great. Is there anything that I didn't ask you that you want to make sure we share with the listeners? Did I miss anything Not that I know of? I think you've done great. Oh, thank you so much and thank you for making the time while you're traveling.

Speaker 1:

I so appreciate it. I'm going to put into the show notes. I'm going to link everything so people can follow you, they can stay up to date on your book, they can get coaching and help life help from you if they're interested. I know you help people all over the world. So thank you so much and good luck with your travels and we will definitely stay in touch. Thank you for having me. It's been lovely, it's been great, thank you.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for joining us for another episode of the House of Jermar podcast, where wellness starts within. We appreciate you being a part of our community and hope you felt inspired and motivated by our guest. If you enjoyed this episode, please write us a review and share it with friends. Building our reach on YouTube and Apple Podcasts will help us get closer to our mission to empower 1 million women to live all in. You can also follow us on Instagram at House of Jermar and sign up to be a part of our monthly inspiration newsletter through our website, houseofjermarcom. If you or someone you know would be a good guest on the show, please reach out to us at podcast at houseofjermarcom. This has been a House of Jermar production with your host, jean Collins. Thank you for joining our house.