Insights from the Couch - Real Talk for Women at Midlife

Ep.56: Midlife Weight Loss Hacks: What Actually Works

• Colette Fehr, Laura Bowman • Season 5 • Episode 56

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Midlife weight gain feels like it sneaks up on us—and suddenly what used to work, doesn’t. In this episode, we sit down with our brilliant friend and fitness expert, Dena Pistor, for a no-BS conversation about what it actually takes to manage weight and feel better in perimenopause and beyond. Whether you're frustrated by belly fat that seems to appear overnight, curious about the truth behind diet shots, or just feeling stuck with your health goals, this is the conversation you need.

We talk openly (and laugh a lot) about shifting hormones, genetic set points, unrealistic fitness expectations, and why those "quick fix" diets rarely work long term. Dena brings not only her expertise, but her realness—and reminds us what sustainable, holistic health looks like at this stage of life. Spoiler alert: it’s not about being perfect, it’s about finding what’s possible for you.

 

Episode Highlights:

 [0:02] - Welcoming Dena Pistor and kicking off our midlife weight loss deep dive
 [1:51] - The “middle” shows up—belly fat, shifting hormones, and midlife body changes
 [4:35] - Dena explains the science of menopause weight gain and the high-estrogen effect
 [5:28] - Why slow weight loss might be more sustainable—and when it isn’t
 [9:34] - The critical role of sleep, stress, and daily activity in weight management
 [13:27] - “Fit and healthy is a third job”—real talk about time, priorities, and working out
 [17:33] - Hydration hacks and why water matters more than you think
 [18:28] - Letting go of the scale obsession and learning to trust your clothes
 [23:39] - Skipping meals and skimping on protein? Why that’s sabotaging your success
 [27:09] - “Stop eating selfishly”—rethinking food as fuel, not just pleasure
 [30:26] - Mediterranean diet love and the power of eating real, satisfying food
 [33:33] - European food habits vs. U.S. food culture—what we’re up against
 [36:56] - Gut health, sugar cravings, and stress eating cycles
 [37:59] - Diet shots like Zepbound—Dena’s evolving perspective and what to watch for
 [43:40] - Holistic health is the real goal—not shortcuts, but a sustainable lifestyle
 [44:50] - Final reflections on grace, effort, and why this journey is worth it

 

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

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Colette Fehr:

Foreign Welcome to insights from the couch, where real conversations meet real life at midlife, where Colette and Laura, two therapists and best friends walking through the journey right alongside you, whether you're feeling stuck, restless or just unsure of what comes next. This is the space for honest conversations, messy truths and meaningful change. And if you find yourself nodding along, don't forget to join our free community, the chat at insights from the couch.org that's where we keep the conversation going, and where women like you and us are finding clarity, momentum and real connection. So let's dive in. We have a very special guest today, our good friend and fitness guru and health and wellness genius extraordinaire, Dena block pister, who has her own studio DP Fitness here in Florida, and is also a professor of health and wellness at Rollins College, also here in Florida. Dina, welcome back to insights from the couch. We cannot wait to dig into hacking weight loss at midlife. With you today,

Dena Pistor:

I am so psyched to be back with you two podcast gurus. That was quite the nice little introduction there. But again, I'm honored to be back on with both of you.

Laura Bowman:

Yay. I'm so glad to be talking about this, because it's starting to, like, really hit me that, like, when they talk about how when you get perimenopausal and menopausal, like, there's like, this middle thing happening. And I always thought, like, Ha, that doesn't apply to me, because, like, I run and I walk and it'll never catch me, and I feel like it's catching me all of a sudden,

Dena Pistor:

there's something that just happens, right? You're going on that happens so much, happens so much, and it's super frustrating for so many women who try so hard, right? They're doing everything right, and all of a sudden they hit mid 40s and 50s, and then you're talking about the waking and the in your midsection, right? Is that what you're talking about? Yeah, all that stuff that starts happening. You know, I feel like now the word menopause and talking about it is become so the norm where, you know, 510, years ago, even a couple years ago, it wasn't. I have clients now coming in and actually talk say, I think this is perimenopause. I think this is menopause. I've been doing this for 24 years, and that's never been a thing. It's just, Oh, I feel gross on, you know, tired on this, on that. So I do think, in a positive way, that we're finding out a little bit more about what the why when we get to be this age.

Colette Fehr:

Yeah, I do too. I think there's a huge shift. I mean, it's become a running joke how I attribute all things to perimenopause and menopause, it's all I talk about. But it's just occurring to me as we dive into this topic, that I'm sitting here with you two Skinny Bitches, and I'm gonna have to, like, hold down the camp for women who really maybe don't have it always under control. Or I know we all struggle at a relative point, but there is truth that whatever your fitness, current fitness state is, or weight loss situation, the fat starts to redistribute as the hormones change. And it's interesting for me, because I'm a pear shape and I've struggled with weight my whole life. My weight has fluctuated my whole life. Nobody knows how to lose weight better, I just want to say this, than somebody who struggles with their weight. I have lost weight through discipline. Will torture you, fucking name it, and I'm not kidding like nobody's business. I mean, I can't even tell you how good I am at losing weight. What has remained elusive is keeping weight off genetic set point. I want to talk about that a little. But also, as with respect to perimenopause and menopause, what I've noticed is, as a pear shaped woman, I never have held fat in my stomach until this phase of life. I've always gotten fat like on my thighs like saddlebags in my hips, but I usually used to not really have much. Now that's the primary place I'm noticing fat depositing so Dina, do you hear a lot of women talking about that, and

Dena Pistor:

everyone, everyone, and you know, when we go through menopause, high estrogen, right? Causes weight gain in just those areas that you're talking about, and stress. So let me just back up so we have all this stuff happening in our body, right, the menopause, the getting older, but if we can break it down to more reasons as. The the why I always like to talk about, you know, eight to 10 Things Women in their 40s or 50s should be doing, right? So let's wait. Put those out there. Can't wait. So, um, hit us. Number one. Number one for me, okay, this is my not everyone might not agree with me. I take a very different approach when a client comes in and wants to lose weight. This is not a race. This is going to take a long time. And I talked about this on your last podcast. I live to the 111, rule 222, rule, whatever. 333, rule, what you choose to do to lose weight, slash, become healthy. Can you do it in three weeks, three months and from three years from now, can you be doing that? If the answer is yes, we're good to go. All right, if you are, you know, trying some crazy diet where you're, you know, eliminating carbs and this, and that is that realistic? No, okay, so right there. But most people don't want to. They want the quick fix, right? We live in a country where we want it quick, and we want it now, and nobody wants to wait. But my thought process is, the longer it takes to come off, the longer it stays off, the quicker off, the quicker back on. Is that really? Can I just ask you? Is that really true? And the only reason I say that is that that has not proven out. For me, I hear experts say that all the time, like, is that something that's definitively proven by science? Well, if you think of it, if you're losing weight quickly, okay, how are you doing? Most people are decreasing carbs, so you're losing water weight, right? Or restricting your caloric intake. So is that able to be sustainable long term? Probably not. Okay. So for most people, whenever I see them lose weight very quickly, I do see it come back on pretty quickly. Okay? For the most part, I'm sure there's, you know, if that that works and it doesn't happen for you. Well, what I'm speaking from the place of, like, I've lost weight slowly at times, and it just and I think part of it is, and there are other women out there, like me, that there is a real thing with these with genetics and, like your set point. So once you hit a certain weight, your body wants to get back there. And also my body doesn't want to be skinny, you know, like I was born to breed, and if you I was I, if I lived in a different generation, I would have had 14 kids, just like my grandparents. Well, that's my great grandmother was one of 14. I got my period at 11. I had boobs at 11, and hips. Those things go with the type of female body that holds onto fat, even at a younger age. So, you know, that's part of it I'm always up against, like the algorithm, right? The genetic algorithm. You missed your calling, Colette, you did your body, you know, is main purpose is to protect you, right? So that's what you have to think of it. And it's smart, okay? And it knows what it's doing. And when you say the genetic set point there is that, right? It there's a set point. It's, you know, I like to say it your body's homeostasis, where it's happy, it's okay. I can do this, that and the other at this weight. When you try to go against that, okay, it does not like it. Why? Because it can't keep you from getting sick. It can't give you the energy that it needs. And if you think of it as a machine, which it is okay, you have to give it the fuel. And it's happy at a certain area, okay? And a lot of people try to do things to go past that. And most of the time, if you ask people, you know, what is your normal weight, most people can come in and say, it's roughly between this and this, okay, right? So trying to get 10 pounds, 15 pounds lighter than that, the body is not going to be okay with that, and it will fight you to get back to where it wants to be. It will. And I think that explains, then the variance of what you're talking about, where, even when I lose weight, slowly, it comes back right away, because my body, my body's happy at a place that I'm not happy. And

Laura Bowman:

does that set point shift upward as we age, like, if I'm like, nor if like 134 is like my sweet spot. Am I looking at like 144 for the next, you know, and or can I get back?

Dena Pistor:

I hate to say yes, because everything is individualized per the person. So when I have a client that you know is starting new with me, there's a variety of questions that I ask them from the get go. Most of them are not do you exercise and what do you eat? We start with number one, how much sleep are you getting? Okay, because if someone is not sleeping, it's not going to work. Sleep is at the top of the food chain. When. You don't sleep, you don't think, well, you're cranky, you're arable which makes you crave high fat, high carbohydrate foods. Cortisol is released, right? Which does make you crave high fat, high carbohydrate foods. So for me, we look at sleep, we look at what do you do for a living. Okay? Do you have a job where you're sedentary? You have a job where you're up and moving around? The average person does not get 10,000 steps a day that they say you should get.

Colette Fehr:

If I work, I get like, two steps. I mean, I'm in my chair all day, literally, like, that's the worst. It's the worst. It's

Dena Pistor:

honestly not fair to put that sort of stipulation on people. I am active, and it's hard for me dates some days that I don't run, right, to get, you know, 5000 steps. So to tell the average person to get 10,000 steps is, is not, I mean, applicable, right? So for me, as long as you're doing something is better than nothing. Okay? So I get frustrated with the Go big or go home seven days a week. No, okay. We are all working women, most of us have kids, and to be sit and healthy is a third job. If you have a job, if you have kids, yeah, you know it is, it's it's it's worth Thank

Colette Fehr:

you for saying that it is a lot of time, and it's not realistic that everyone, Laura and I were at a function last night, and this woman was saying, how, you know, it's six days a week for her these hour long workouts, and she's in great shape. I'm not trying to put her down. That's amazing, but I just was thinking, like, this is part of her life, good for her. There's just no way I that's not going to be me. It

Dena Pistor:

is not plausible. I mean, I do it six days a week, but I do it at 333 but I also get up at 330 in the morning to get on the channel, really, yes, I have when I start work at 530 that's the only time I can do it. Okay?

Unknown:

Sometimes you go to bed. Well, now it's really a 45 but

Dena Pistor:

I'm not saying that to be like, Oh, wow. Look at me. What I'm saying is when people say, Oh, wow. You know, you do this. Yeah, I'm up three hours before when you're still in bed. Okay, so it is work, it is hard, it is not fun. I'm just putting it out there. You know, I have a client who they can work out three hours a day at the gym. Well, great for you. I mean, that's not reality for it's not everyone. That's not everyone you know, 99% of the population,

Colette Fehr:

right? And I'm up at the crack of dawn, but like, I have other things right now, at this phase of life I'm writing and taking care of the 10,000 other jobs I have. That's not my main job that puts pays my bills. So it's, I'm not saying I can't work out, because I do believe anything that's a priority, there's time to fit it in. I learned that from Oprah 25 years ago. Thank you, Oprah, right when she said, like you, I get up earlier if I if I'm going to do it, I have to do it. I'm not at a place where I'm willing to get up at 330 because, to your point about sleep, I know I've got to juggle all these different pieces, and I'm not a great sleeper. Sleep doesn't come easily, and I know that has to be more the priority, even than the other pieces, because I can't do my job if I'm not well rested, not to mention it's not healthy for me. So it's, it's a juggling of priorities.

Dena Pistor:

It is and, you know, like everyone chooses to be on there, I always say, you know, how long are you on your phone, right? A day where you could be out doing something? I mean, it's just choosing. It's hard work. And most people, not all, but most people, they don't want to be uncomfortable, right? And the uncomfortable is getting up a little bit earlier. You know, eating going out, eating stuff that you might not necessarily want but your body needs. It's uncomfortable to do that, but it's what in my experience, at some point in our life, and we're there, right? We're not in our 20s and early 20s and teens where we could go and eat, you know, cookies and be fine. It's all changing, and it we're not,

Laura Bowman:

I know. I know this is the hard part for me.

Colette Fehr:

I know I used to do the cookie diet. I used to eat a huge Barney's cookie all day. I mean, I used to be so unhealthy in college, I lived on drive through daiquiri and like, three French fries and a pack of cigarettes, and I would weigh 105 pounds. And think I was like, the most powerful person in the universe. And I, not only do I not want to put myself through that anymore, but it wouldn't even work. Not to mention, it's so unhealthy, and it was unhealthy then. So you're really Dina, it sounds like you're saying too. First of all, sleep is important, but also it is. There are some basic fundamental things, maybe they're not super sexy, but that we. Got to do if we want to be successful, and let's factor in genetics. That's going to look a little different for everyone. There are people who are not going to look like you no matter what they do. Everyone wants to look like you, maybe, but they're not going to. We've all got to be realistic like you're right in that I'm not doing some of the things that I could do that would help me. And are we willing to make those choices? That's a hard question. And then maybe, can you go through some of these like, you know, you mentioned the eight things, like, what are these things we should all be doing, but sleep,

Laura Bowman:

our job, our exercise, how much we miss? And

Dena Pistor:

again, the moving right. So if Yeah, and again, it's called the non exercise activity, thermogenesis, big, little phrase there. But what little things can you do in the day that are not exercise, that you're moving right? Like elevator, yeah? I mean, COVID is a perfect example of that people who used to go into the office and did not exercise. Okay? Their exercise was walking into the office, walking to the bathroom, walking to a meeting. Now they're sitting in their home, not moving, and look what happened. Those little bit of calories that they were burning over time added to waking right? So if you can't make time to exercise. And when I say make time, I don't care if some of my clients even it's a 10 or 15 minute walk, because there's two things that are going to happen there. Number one, you're going to get some exercise in, and number two, you're going to feel better. I can 100% guarantee that not one time has someone gone for a walk, gone for a workout and said, I wish I hadn't done that. Okay? A lot of times people say, I don't want to do it the minute they walk in here, or walk do anything. So that is an immediate mood booster. You feel better, okay? And most of the time it changes your outlook on the day, okay? So there's the sleep, there's the moving, the drinking water. Okay, hydration is huge. It helps in so many ways. Okay, a it helps with digestion. It does help fill you up and helps with your skin. I am not the best person to be speaking about this, but I will tell you this, I don't crave water. My body doesn't want it. I can go out for a run and come back in and not really want water. But every morning, before I leave for work, I drink 1.5 liters done just down the hatch, and it's done. Okay, so water is,

Laura Bowman:

what's the Daily Dose? What's the Daily Dose there? Dana,

Colette Fehr:

realistic. I mean,

Dena Pistor:

you know, they always say, what? 64 ounces of water a day. Some people say an ounce for pound of body weight. Whatever works for you, right? Some people carry around their big jugs. I would like to say, you know, a liter, okay, at least a day. Some people drink

Colette Fehr:

How much is that? I don't even know what

Laura Bowman:

that is. How many cups is that? How many eight hours? I don't know

Dena Pistor:

you're asking a digital math right now, and that is not my strong suit.

Colette Fehr:

Okay, okay, no, no. But I mean, do you carry around a big joke? No, I drink it

Dena Pistor:

in the morning the minute I wake up, down the hatch before I walk out the door.

Laura Bowman:

So it's like four glasses, guys, it's like four, eight ounce glasses. Yeah, at least two, at least 33

Colette Fehr:

Yeah. But that makes me feel better. And like you said, Dina, you know, if you're not drinking any water, drink some. Like, yeah, start with

Dena Pistor:

this. Try the morning. Although, for you and I, when we're in, when you're dealing with clients, right? And you're drinking this water, it's like, oh, it's the bathroom breaks are the problem, right? So, but whenever you can get that in. Okay? So the water, okay, this is a big one stop obsessing with the scale. Okay, the scale own one Oh, the scale is your enemy. Okay. Number one, it is not a daily accurate representation of your weight. Someone can gain three to five pounds in a day, if they step on the scale in the morning and at night, and you have to ask yourself to gain one pound, is 3500 calories? Okay, so did I really consume over 3500 calories? Or someone says I gained two pounds? Did you consume over No, you didn't. Okay. So my philosophy, if you have to weigh yourself, it's one time during the week. I always say Wednesday or Thursday, not right after the weekend, where you've settled into your weekly routine and or you have a pair of pants that sit, jeans sit, and those, you put those on once a week, every day, whatever, if you want to do it every day, because then the number does not define your day, right? And we've all been there where you see the number and you're like, Oh, that's good today, and all of a sudden, you know, your mood goes here, or you see a number and you're like, so what does happens there? I'm not going to work out. I'm going to go eat that. It just,

Colette Fehr:

it's discouraging. It's a mind s

Dena Pistor:

for people. People. So I am not a proponent at all on the scale, okay? I

Laura Bowman:

think that's great. And I feel like clothes are such the best, like representation, like a pair, there you go. No, there you go. Just

Colette Fehr:

now, I just want to say one thing about that, and I'm not obviously a weight loss expert, and also let me acknowledge, and then I want to get your take on this too, that I am on the diet shots, I'm on Zep bound or zepatide. And it's really a passion of mine to reduce the stigma around that and make it a part of normal, natural conversation, just like perimenopause and menopause are becoming so that women don't feel shame around struggles and men, too, and everybody, non gender, everybody, I just want to say, in case anyone relates to me, for people who are on more of the compulsive eating or overeating, or, you know, they tend to snack all the time, or can easily gain tons of weight in small periods of Time, for whatever reason, I so appreciate what you're saying about the scale, but I find that if I don't monitor my weight, it's really easy for me to spiral out of control. And I don't think obsessing overweight or weighing yourself multiple times a day, but for me per actually, right now, let me, let me take that back, because now that I'm on the drug I'm like, I don't even ever weigh myself. I don't even I haven't weighed myself in six or seven weeks because food is not a preoccupation, but I'm also not that hungry. So it's easier now for me to not get out of control. But at times, I've been successful in maintaining weight loss. If I don't weigh I like go off track so quickly. But I appreciate what you're saying, because you don't want it to be an obsession, and you're right that it can become that. So I just find that hard.

Dena Pistor:

Yeah, I know so many people still do it in in again for me, because, you know, I shared on the last podcast my struggles with eating. I mean, I would get on it, you know, five to 10 times a day, again, it's hard, but you're right some, it's a check in, right? But what I see for some is, is it derails them. If that number is not there, which I I'm trying to help present that right? Let's stay on the the straight and narrow here, and then once a week and see where we're at. I just don't want them to get that

Colette Fehr:

week is a good balance. That's a

Dena Pistor:

good for some it might not.

Laura Bowman:

Don't worry, I rely on my clothes. My clothes give me, like, perfect feedback. I know exactly

Colette Fehr:

well. That's great for somebody who's at like, a consistent weight, but I have clothes for every size woman who exists, yeah? So, like, I can't think for everyone just go into a new pair of pants that are from. Like, I mean, it's, yeah, it's, but I think Dina, going back to this, you're saying, Don't obsess, do something that keeps you and, like, create the lifestyle where you're doing the healthy thing and you're not obsessed with the number, yes, which is hard, okay? And then after you continue your things, I want you also, and I want this to not be you know, you and I are close friends. I want to hear your take on the diet shots based on what you're seeing. And think I know there's no prevailing factual thing. We don't know where this is going. I do want, like our listeners, to hear your thoughts on that. And I don't want you to have to feel like you have to censor it, since I'm on it, because I am like a like, I would be their spokesperson if I could for life. But I want to hear your thoughts on that. I

Dena Pistor:

want to, okay, I wanted to mention two more things, then I we're diving into that number. So two more things. Do not skip meals. Okay? Do not skip meals. Don't it will catch up with you no matter again your body needs the food, it will make you take in the food. If you skip the meals, you're doing yourself an injustice. Okay? Women

Laura Bowman:

think they're doing a justice by themselves. Like, oh, my God, I like, don't even eat breakfast.

Dena Pistor:

Yeah, it deserves it. And number two, protein, okay, yeah, here I want to hear this protein is, I'm, like, a protein. Like, it's all I used to not because I'm like, Oh, I, you know, I don't want to get big and bulky. It's not going to happen, okay? And what it does, it helps fill you up. There is no worse feeling to me than to be hungry, right? And need food protein for every snack and meal, okay? It helps fill you up. It builds muscle, okay, repairs to eat, tinnitus, ligaments, you know, all the all the good stuffs. And don't be afraid of protein every meal and every snack needs to have. You know, 20 to 30 grams of protein somewhere around there. Okay,

Colette Fehr:

okay, so we should be having protein consistently all the time, 20 to 30 grams at every meal, and not skipping. Meals that's such kind of it's so important. You know, I've

Laura Bowman:

watched my husband and my daughter, they're like, so on this like protein thing. Like, they consume protein. Like, it's ridiculous. I mean, Dina, you know, both of them, and I've watched them like, both become like, so much like rocks. They're like, rock solid, like, you could bounce a quarter off these two. My husband's 56 so that's like, saying something. And I am, like, not a protein girl. Like, I don't love like, sources of protein, like cottage cheese, like, or like, lots of meat. Like, I hate that. And the only thing my body has, like, always responds to is, like, loading up on fiber. Like, that's where I tend to, like, finally lose weight. Or like, my body, like, comes to the center is when I really focus on fiber. But I've watched these two become, like, muscled. It's ridiculous. So I believe you, I just don't know how to get there

Dena Pistor:

again. I just like to have my clients do it for the the building of the muscle, right, and then also to keep you full. Because when people are hungry, no good choices are made. You should always stay ahead of your hunger. That's why I want breakfast snack. If you're hungry, you're behind the eight ball. Okay, your blood sugar's dropping. Your metabolism is dropping, and you almost 99 95% of the time are not going to make a good choice regarding your food. Another little trick, if you will, which a lot of people don't like this, but I like to have people have a pretty consistent diet through the week, because when you have choices is when we sort of go off the rails, right? So if I know, for breakfast, I have these couple choices, this is my snack, this is my lunch snack, and this is my dinner, you know, through the week, then I know if I eat this, it's going to keep me full to here, and then this is going to keep me full to here, because we have to stop eating selfishly, okay? And give our body what it needs. Not every time you eat, is it going to be this big, amazing experience, right? Sometimes, yeah,

Unknown:

I know this is where I'm losing you. Dina, this is where the whole country of Italy is losing you, right? I

Laura Bowman:

want, like, meals to be sensual. I

Colette Fehr:

know you're saying it's when you say stop eating selfishly. You mean eat from a perspective of health and fuel, not from every meal. Is this sybaritic pleasure. What

Dena Pistor:

is this doing for me? This is protein. It's gonna help fill me up. Okay? It's gonna keep me full till the next time. I mean, I don't know if you guys have been in a session where you're starving and you're like, right? And you can't even pass out. To me, that is the absolute worst ceiling ever. And my goal for everyone is to never get there, right? And so if you can eat consistently and throw in that protein, that's what you should do.

Colette Fehr:

And I love this phrase, stop eating selfishly, because really what we're talking about is it's not eating. Oh, I want to eat, and what am I going to eat that feels good in the moment, and then it's over anyway, it's eating unselfishly. Is prioritizing your health. What's going to give you that like lasting satiety? What is going to fuel your cells with enough protein and carbohydrate to carry you over to the next meal or snack.

Dena Pistor:

Yes, and I always say, ask people, you know, if you look at your diet as a whole, ask yourself, what percentage of your diet does something for you, and what percentage does nothing for you, and then nothing for you is, you know, the sugar and all that, and then the dust, something that's so revealing, right? So ask yourself. And now let me and just so you know, I am a proponent of the does nothing for you. Okay? I'm not saying it 100% has to do something. I mean, if you guys do you know me, sugar is my thing, right? But it is not a large percentage. But every day finding, you know, a little something to have. But if your percentage is, you know, 75% of fast food and Starbucks and etc, etc, you know, we need to flip that to 25% nothing for you. 75% something for you.

Colette Fehr:

I'm glad you said that. You know, I want to ask you before we go back to the diet shots, too. One more thing about diet and food that fuels you eating unselfishly for health. The thing I have found when I'm not whether I'm on the diet shots or not, and actually not on the diet shots, because one of the hard parts of the diet shots is that I feel like I did when I was in my early trimester of pregnancy, where I'm nauseous and so some it's very bizarre what I can eat and what I can't eat, or what I crave, what sounds good, maybe not always the healthiest food, but the diet I have found that works best. I recognize everyone's different, but that works. Works best for me is also the one that's still really touted medically, which is a Mediterranean diet where you're having fish, vegetables, whole grains, you're not starving yourself, you're eating real food. There's protein. It's very balanced. I also think it's relatively easy to eat food that tastes good on a Mediterranean diet, perfect. What do you think of that

Dena Pistor:

done that is exactly how we should be eating. And you eat it, and hopefully you feel good when you're eating it, right? Yeah, you don't have, you know, when you're eating something bad, right? You know it's coming. You feel like shit. You're done. And you're like, Oh, why did I do that? I feel, uh, the Mediterranean diet. It's textbook, perfect. Vegetables, grains, protein, yeah, if we all could stick to that, maybe a little, you know, sugar here, whatever. Fine, right? Done. I mean, look at the European

Laura Bowman:

shout out to, like, I mean, if I'd be in like, perfect shape, if I didn't have, like, that emotional process where there's a part of me that wants to really care for me through food, and that's normal, you know? And, yeah, and that's the part that I'm always trying to, like, talk to and get to, like, a more mature place, but it's there. It's like, rooted from, like, childhood, where it's, it's like, oh my god, I gotta take care of me and and that's gonna look like like, that's gonna look like something that isn't that's eating selfishly, that's

Dena Pistor:

okay. And guess what, Laura, that's reality, right? That we have those moments in our lives. I mean, it can't be text perfect, and we all are going to have that's why I say it's for the long haul, right? Let's figure out how we can do this with the bumps in the road. The big thing is, when you have that bump in the road and you sort of feel yourself going, is getting back on track, it's where people go down, and then it's like, oh, I'm, you know, forget it. I've stopped exercising. I'm eating bad, and then they just die. D, it's fucking epic. Yeah, yeah. I have a day like that, or a couple days like that, and then say, Okay, I need to remember how I felt, and let's get back on the right track. And that's hard for people

Colette Fehr:

well, and I want to acknowledge that ideally for me, food should be something that's caring and loving and sensual and enjoyable and also healthy. And one thing I know, I'm obsessed with Italy like half the planet. But one thing that I've always noticed that's true of many parts of Europe, but I personally think is the most true for me when I'm in Italy is that I never gain weight when I'm there, even when I'm not on any kind of anything. And I eat, I eat till I'm satisfied. The ingredients are so fresh I enjoy my meal. It's better than sex. I freaking love everything I eat. I have gelato a reasonable portion, though, and I'm satisfied. I'm not craving to eat all the time in Italy, because we're off all the processed stuff. The food tastes delicious. There are so many fresh, natural ingredients available. The past is different in how it's processed. I just wish that it could be like that, because it would be so much easier to accomplish this if we had that kind I mean, it's, it's here, it's just expensive and time consuming to eat that way, yeah, in America.

Dena Pistor:

I mean, I just got back from France, and, you know, I croissants like they were going, like, you know, like it was my business. But what I noticed different is, when I did eat it, I never felt right. There was just something different about it. Whenever I ate them that you know how they're made, and it's just, again, we go to the grocery store. It's just mayhem here. Let's just talk about that, right? The whole grocery store should not be as big as they are, right? Because we have the filler. All of the filler needs to go right, and we need to stay on the perimeter with the meat and the vegetables and the fruits, etc. But that's for another

Colette Fehr:

thing. Yep, you're right, and that's what it is like in Europe. It's the fresh vegetables and produce and a little bakery, yeah, and a little bakery, but even the bakery then, like you can to Dina's point, you can tolerate when that's 25% of your diet, you know, a croissant that isn't full of complete processed foods, but even has flour and wheat and sugar. For most of us, unless you have extra health issues, our bodies can process that, so it's a bummer. It takes more effort here to

Dena Pistor:

eat. It does. It's hard. We are thrown with food in our face all the time. It's very it's very distracting everywhere,

Colette Fehr:

most of it's crap, crap. Most of it's crap. Yeah, and I find that the more I eat, like, you know. The ways I've done the best in my life, no surprise to anyone probably listening or certainly not to you, but the times I've done the best managing my weight are when I eat pretty clean, more of a Mediterranean diet. I'm not eating processed food. I'm having fish, wild rice, some veggies, you know, dessert or sugar a couple times a week, and moderate doses. That is sort of my sweet spot, because then I have those, those processed foods make us crave more than the brain, yeah, and I already believe that there are some of us, like me, where I don't have naturally enough leptin. I really believe this is part of my struggle, both my genetic set point and then leptin, which is the satiety hormone that tells your brain you're full and it's time to stop eating. I don't think I have enough of that, or I have too much ghrelin, the hunger hormone, which is why these diet shots have personally helped me, but I notice a difference in it. Even without the diet shots, when I'm eating cleaner, that part is certainly more manageable,

Laura Bowman:

and I concur with that, like it takes me weeks to sort of get the processed food out of my palate and out of my gut where it's like, my gut microbiome is craving sugar. I will default to, like, sugar and caffeine if I'm stressed, and if I'm there it takes me. It's like a Jag. I have to, like, work my way out of it for like a week or so, and then it'll take like, three months to a month, like three weeks to a month before I go, Oh, that's right, I love the taste of an apple, yeah, I love the taste of like, real food, right?

Colette Fehr:

You have to your palate has to get back there. It's so true. When you're eating processed junk, you stop wanting the quality stuff.

Dena Pistor:

Yeah, it's so flat. And Laura, you made a good point. You said, when I'm stressed, right? Well, we are a society of stress, okay? So, I mean, every day we are all there somewhere, so it's hard to reel that need and want for the sugar in, and it's that's why this is, you know, like I said, climbing a ladder. Every day, you get up two steps and then you go back down, because you never know what's being thrown at you. And it's hard. I just want to, again, you know, validate that this is not something that is easy for me, for anybody. It is, it's it's a work in progress every single day. And I, I hate when women, whenever they get down on themselves, whenever they, you know, do eat bad or missile, it's, it's not like that, okay, like we need to all be together and understand that this is, like I said, a journey, okay, that we're all in together. And now you're talking about your, your the drug

Colette Fehr:

collect, yeah. I just, I'm curious for our listeners, but I want you to speak openly about your perspective. As someone who's helping women with fitness every day, what you think your opinion and people can figure out what's right for them, of course.

Dena Pistor:

Yeah. So last year, when I did the podcast, you know, I was frustrated with the drug right? Because, again, I'll use me as an example, right? So I have over exercise issues I have in the past. So you know, I'm getting up at 330 in the morning and working and eating, right? And eating turkey and veggies for every day, for lunch and dinner and and then I'm like, oh, man, and these people are taking this drug, and the weight is just falling off of them, right? Absolutely, the drug is, is needed for a lot of people, okay? But also what I've seen is, you know, people like yourself, Collette, who I love seeing you, you know, flourish, and I seen your whole mood change and whatnot by losing the weight. And I guess my perspective on it has changed a little bit, right? That as long as it's not, we don't know the long term, right? But my worry is, this is what I'll say. My worry is, can you, are you what's going to happen when you go off of it? Okay? Or do you go off of it? And that goes all the way back to my 222, rule, 111, and or now maybe 1010, 10, in 10 years, are you still going to be giving your shot itself a shot every week. And if the answer to that is yes for you and also financially, then more it's great, right? But that is my biggest worry of it, to be honest with you,

Colette Fehr:

yeah, yeah. I think that's very valid. And people have said to me, I joke. But people are like, what? When you go off, are you? I'm like, Are you kidding? Or Steve, will my husband will say to me, like, you know, wow, like, this sometimes makes you kind of sick. And I'm like, I don't care. I'm like, you could surgically remove limbs and I would still stay on the drug. I think it's a valid point. We don't know the long term cause. Concerns. I think there is, I am scared to go off of the shots. I think that for me, it is weight has not fallen off, flown off. Me, it's not been effortless at all. It hasn't been has been. For some people, it's not been. My experience, I've lost about 25 plus pounds over a year, I've been on the shots for a year. It's been very slow. I've had months where I've lost a pound. I've never lost more than a pound a week. I still eat. I'm still hungry. But I'm glad to hear you say actually, although I'm open to whatever you had to say that, you know, maybe you've seen it be helpful for some people. I do think there are people out there like me, and you have to weigh your own pros and cons who this has been a lifelong struggle. Keeping weight off just is never, has never been sustainable, and we know obesity is a major cause of death. So you know, getting my weight down has helped my cholesterol. It's improved my mood. It's been it's better for my lungs. I have lung problems, so it's, I think it's a cost benefit for you. But I don't know where the journey is going, so I think we're all along for the ride on that one. I just speak from a place too of I want to make sure that I'm open about these shots, because I don't like the fact that women have something else they're supposed to feel ashamed of. Fuck that. Yeah, you know what? I'm not like hiding my ass anymore when I get in the pool because it doesn't look how some douchey person thinks it should look, or pretending that I'm effortlessly thin, like that's not my reality. And I don't want to have to pretend, and I don't want other people to have to pretend it's so easy either.

Dena Pistor:

Where I get frustrated are the people who are already incredibly thin, who are taking this to become thinner. That, to me, is frustrating, okay, but there that's a different beat too. But you know, you have, you know, Colette, you mentioned you had you lost 25 pounds in but look what it's done for you, right? And again, I will fully admit I have changed my thought process on that, right? Because, you know, yeah, last year

Colette Fehr:

I was when we did the podcast Dena, I was against it too, because I was afraid of the side effects, and I thought it was an easy way out, too. I mean, I really, I've changed my own thinking,

Dena Pistor:

but to watch people who who have struggled, who are now lost the weight, and what it's done for their mood, you know, the world's sort of like the lens is changing on how they feel about themselves and their motivation. Yeah. And can you take that away from somebody? No. And I did say last year, in the years that I've been doing this, this is the magic pill shot, if you will, that has really seemed to work for everybody. And again, my thing was just that the people who are already incredibly thin, who are taking this to become sickly thin, right?

Laura Bowman:

You wonder too like about, will the body adapt? And I think it does. And I think there is sometimes, like, a, like, a diminishing return on what you get out of these drugs, and that regardless of if you take these drugs or if you don't take these drugs, we all have to, like, kind of climb that same ladder, right that you're talking about Dina of like, we have to focus on sleep, and we have to focus On the Mediterranean diet and and exercise and like, that doesn't change for anybody, right? So it's like, if you gotta take you're taking the drugs, and that helps you, and that's a tool still climb the ladder, yes, do all the things. That's where I see people like, they they take the shortcut, but they're not claiming the ladder. Yeah, do all the things,

Colette Fehr:

like Holistic Health, yeah, yeah.

Laura Bowman:

And we Holistic

Dena Pistor:

Health, you know, listening to you, Laura, though you're said, you know, oh, you know, you gotta sleep, you gotta eat, right? You gotta cut down. I mean, look at this. We're just keep listing things and things that everybody you know we have to do to be healthy, on top of everything else that we're doing, right? So I'm going back to this is hard. It is just plain hard. It's not fun, yeah,

Colette Fehr:

and let's not pretend it's not No,

Dena Pistor:

it's just yeah, be what it is, right? Let's be authentic,

Unknown:

like you're talking to life. There's more life.

Dena Pistor:

Yeah, there is definitely more to life, for sure. But if people can also think of it as, you know, exercising and eating, right, what's that doing for the inside, not esthetically? Because we, I mean, we could do a whole nother podcast on, you know, heart disease for people who are younger, and osteoporosis and all of that. So, you know, I like people who are coming in and maybe not seeing the esthetic benefits, but the health benefits that they're getting. I mean, you can't put a price tag on that. Yeah, right. So

Colette Fehr:

beautifully said. A great way to wrap this up. Dina, this is so helpful, and it's just such a good reminder of what we need to be doing. And it's not this is. Not about vanity. This is about health and living your best life. Yeah, and it's not easy for anyone, even for the people that it looks like it's easy. You know, if you look at someone like Dina and think like, oh, you know, she's just effortlessly like this, no, she puts a lot of time and effort into practicing what you preach. And I think that's what we've all got to do, and do it in a way that's healthy and balanced, and figure out what's right for us, but stick to some of these core principles that are going to support our long term health in three weeks, in three years, in 30 years, hopefully, if we're all still here. So thank you so much for being with us, and thanks to all of you guys for listening to insights from the couch. If today's episode sparked something in you, join our chat. Share what's on your mind. You can ask Dina questions too. She's in the chat. All you have to do is go to insights from the couch.org, and click join the chat. It's our totally free community for all of us, women who are going through all of these unique challenges and joys at midlife, and if you're ready to go deeper, stay tuned, because we're opening enrollment soon for the midlife master class, a small, powerful group for women ready to stop spinning their wheels and feeling stuck and start creating what's next. So until then, keep going. You're not alone. We're here with you, and as always, we hope you got some insights from our couch. Thanks everyone. Bye, guys. You.