Insights from the Couch - Real Talk for Women at Midlife
Insights from the Couch is your go-to podcast for smart, self-aware women in midlife navigating perimenopause, burnout, marriage shifts, identity changes, and the emotional chaos of “What now?” Hosted by best friends and seasoned therapists Colette Fehr and Laura Bowman, this is where therapy meets real life — bold conversations, hard truths, and powerful tools to help you get unstuck and come alive.
Whether you're questioning your relationship, struggling with empty nest, battling people-pleasing or perfectionism, or just feeling flat and disconnected from yourself — this show is for you.
Colette and Laura bring decades of clinical experience (and lived midlife wisdom) to every episode. Expect real talk on the things no one prepares you for: midlife reinvention, perimenopause and hormone shifts, marriage and divorce, boundaries, friendships, confidence, identity loss, and what it actually takes to build a life you want at this stage — not just one you tolerate.
This is where smart women get unstuck and come alive.
🎧 New episodes every week
🌟 Join the Midlife Masterclass: insightsfromthecouch.org/group-coaching-program
🩷 Grab your free guide: The Midlife Roadmap — 7 Skills to Get Unstuck and Come Alive
👉 Follow us on Instagram: @insightsfromthecouch
Insights from the Couch - Real Talk for Women at Midlife
Ep.72: The Power of Being Difficult: How to Reclaim Your Boundaries and Your Voice with Tonya Lester
We are beyond excited to welcome the brilliant Tonya Lester to the couch this week! As a psychotherapist, writer, and author of the new book Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself, Tonya joins us for a raw and resonant conversation about how women lose their voices in relationships, how to reclaim them, and why it’s never too late to start showing up fully for yourself.
We dig into some of the most pressing issues we see with women in midlife—emotional labor, resentment, perfectionism, and the dreaded “burned out pursuer” dynamic. Tonya shares powerful truths about why many marriages break down long before anyone leaves, what holds women back from setting boundaries, and how we can all take emotional risks to wake up to the lives we want. This is an honest, compassionate, and deeply validating episode that will leave you feeling seen, fired up, and ready to push back in all the right ways.
Episode Highlights:
[0:26] – Welcoming Tonya Lester and her powerful new book
[2:04] – From acting to therapy: Tonya’s journey into couples work
[4:28] – The repeated story of women hitting their breaking point
[7:47] – What pushback really looks like in relationships
[10:04] – Burned out pursuers: when women have nothing left to give
[13:50] – Why powerful women lose their voice in marriage
[15:34] – The “bad deal” many women are stuck in
[16:03] – Are women outgrowing men?
[17:24] – The invisible labor of “man keeping”
[18:49] – How women are penalized for assertiveness at work
[22:55] – Perfectionism: it’s not about excellence, it’s about anxiety
[27:29] – Visibility, risk-taking, and the fear of not being good enough
[30:23] – Reclaiming your life force after years of disconnection
[31:58] – Weather vane emotions: resentment, jealousy, anger
[35:52] – The long, slow process of waking up to your needs
[38:36] – What if the outcome isn’t what you hoped for?
[40:58] – Modeling empowered living for the next generation
[42:05] – Tonya’s biggest hope for readers of Push Back
Links and Resources:
- Tonya Lester’s website: https://www.tonyalester.com/
- Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself — Available on Amazon, Bookshop, and Barnes & Noble
- Psychology Today Blog: Staying Sane Inside Insanity
- Follow Tonya on Instagram: @tonyalesterpsychotherapy
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