Insights from the Couch - Real Talk for Women at Midlife

Ep. 91: The Courage to Commit to Your Creative Vision With Maylen Dominguez

• Colette Fehr, Laura Bowman • Season 7 • Episode 91

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In this episode, we sit down with writer, producer, and longtime friend Maylen Dominguez to talk about what it really looks like to pursue creativity in midlife. From leaving a stable career to producing her independent film Ethan Bloom, Maylen shares what it means to listen to that inner creative voice—even when the path forward feels uncertain.

Together, we explore the messy middle of reinvention, the courage it takes to follow a creative calling, and how small daily commitments can lead to extraordinary outcomes. If you’ve ever wondered whether it’s too late to pursue something meaningful or creative, this conversation is the reminder you didn’t know you needed. Press play and join us as we talk about fear, commitment, creativity, and trusting the process. 

Episode Highlights

[00:39] – We introduce our guest, Maylen Dominguez, and her impressive journey as a writer, producer, and educator.

[03:32] – Maylen opens up about being in the “messy middle” of a career transition and choosing to fully commit to her creative work.

[07:38] – The simple habit that changed everything: writing three screenplay pages a day and how small commitments create big results.

[10:31] – Why “done is better than perfect” and how letting the work be messy helped move the creative process forward.

[18:40] – Maylen shares how she’s embracing uncertainty, writing a novel, and learning to trust the natural seasons of life and creativity.

[28:55] – The behind-the-scenes journey of turning a screenplay into an independent film—and how the right creative partnership made it possible.

[32:32] – The power of commitment: pushing through obstacles, raising funds, and refusing to give up on bringing the film to life.

[37:14] – Why it’s never too late to create, pivot, or pursue something meaningful—and the importance of supporting independent film.

Links & Resources

Ethan Bloom will be at the Enzian Theater on March 25th (now sold out!). Maylen Dominguez and the film’s director, Herschel Faber, will return for another screening on April 6th, and the film will begin playing at Regal Winter Park Village on April 17th.

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace and felt yourself disappear? The Cost of Quiet is for anyone who avoids conflict and pays the price. Reclaim your voice, strengthen your relationships, and experience real peace. Order your copy and join the movement: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season.  Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launched February 3rd. Order your copy today: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Colette Fehr:

welcome to insights from the couch, where real conversations meet real

Laura Bowman:

life at midlife, we're Colette and Laura, two therapists and best friends, walking through the journey right alongside you, whether you're feeling stuck, restless or just unsure of what's next. This is a space for honest conversations, messy truths and meaningful change.

Colette Fehr:

And our midlife master class is now open. If you're looking to level up, get into action and make midlife the best season yet. Go to insights from the couch.org and join our wait list. Now let's dive in.

Laura Bowman:

Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of insights from the couch. We have my Lynn Dominguez here today. Full disclosure, my Lynn's daughter and my daughter were childhood best friends. So, like, I really grew up with my Lynn, like we were, we were in the grade school years together. Oh yes we were, yes we were. But my Lynn is here today to talk to us about her new film, and I want to give her bio just a little bit of the gravitas it deserves. So I'm going to read that, and we will dive right into her whole film project. My Lynn is a writer, producer and yoga teacher with a diverse and impactful career. Most recently, she is the writer and producer of the feature length dramedy Ethan bloom. I saw the trailer. I can't wait to see it. My Lynn holds a BA in literature and film from Yale University, and an MFA in writing for screen and television from the University of Southern California. She won the Zacky Gordon award for screenwriting and an NBC Universal TV writing award. Her career spans various roles, including working with Galen entertainment, where she helped produce content for Latin American television and films like the onlo Awards and lost Beltran. I hope I'm doing that justice. She also worked in development at two drivers productions with Mini Driver. Additionally, my Lynn founded the Orlando Film Festival. I cannot believe I didn't totally know that. Launched three MFA programs at film schools and served as the dean of the New York Film Academy in Miami for 10 years, quite the multi hyphenate career. So welcome.

Unknown:

I'm so happy to be with you guys. I miss you guys. It's so great to see you and just to get a talk. And I'm really just proud of this incredible podcast. You guys are doing such an amazing job, and it's such important information for everybody to have. So thank you for sharing your insights and your wisdom.

Colette Fehr:

Well, thanks so much for being here. It's so good to see your face and so impressive. I mean, I feel like I know these things about you, but hearing it all together. I mean, it's so impressive your career, and yet you are doing this is part of what we want to talk about. I want to dig into the story of the film and how you made it happen, but you're doing such a big pivot right to bring a film to life and to segue into a phase of your career where you're a creator and you're an artist, and not just a dean and a student and all these other phases that you've worked through. So tell us a little bit. Let's just start wherever you want to start, but tell us a little bit about the inspiration for the movie and the journey.

Unknown:

Yes, thank you. You know, it's one of those things where, when I started to listen to your podcast, and I was like, Wait, everybody's like, really well and successful in their career. And I'm really in the, like, messy middle, as we like to call it, you know, I'm really in a transition time right now. So I'm excited to talk about it, and I'm excited to share about it, because I think sometimes we hear about, like, this is how it was and this is how it is, but we don't really get to see what happens in the in between. And I'm really in that in between stage right now where I am transitioning from, you know, having had this kind of, you know, career, and it was a really great career, and it's a career that I love, and I got to inspire a lot of students. And, you know, it was this moment of like, I could keep doing this for the rest of my life, but there was always this part of me that wanted to, you know, make my art. And I was always making things on the side. I was always writing or painting or doing whatever it was that I was doing on the side. But, you know, to really give it the attention that it deserves. And you know, there is a thing that happens when you're trying to go deep in any way, you have to give it your entire attention again. And I don't think that means that you have to, like, quit your job in order to be a creative person. I think that plenty of people can be creative, like, for a couple of hours in the morning and then go have a job. And I did that for a long time, and I wrote the script during that time. So so it can absolutely be done, but for me and the level of work that I want to do now, it was important that I really devote myself. To it. And it was also, I think, a sense of saying, You're not something that's on the side, you know, that was saying to, like, my artist self, you're not something that's on the side, like, I'm actually going to look at you completely for who you are, and, like, devote myself to you. So there was a sense of, like, a commitment to and it's terrible. It's terrifying. I'm currently in, still, the terrifying part of it, because it's not like, there's like, Oh, she quit her job and now she's a bajillionaire doing, you know, whatever. That's not the case. I quit my job, and it's still in the uncertain phase. But yes, in order to celebrate the wins, I also did make this film, which is a true independent film, and I am very proud of it. It was the way that it started. I wrote the script. It's actually funny, Laura, how that started. Sophia, who's my daughter, who's very good friends with Laura's daughter. Basically, she was in her room studying, like, doing homework, and all of a sudden she, like, hands me a thumb drive. She goes, You have something on here, you might want it. And I like, plugged it into my computer, and there were, like, the first 20 pages of the screenplay, and I read it, and I was like, I like this screenplay.

Laura Bowman:

When did you write it my land? When did I have no

Unknown:

idea when those first 15 or 20 pages are written. I have no idea. You know, who knows in between carpool one of the days, you know, who knows? Like, I just got the idea, because, you know, one of the big things with with filmmaking and storytelling in general, and with, like, the hero's journey or whatever, I always would say this to my students, like, what you need is you need a character that has a very strong want, and then a difficult time getting it right. There's a conflict. And so I was like, what would be like a really strong want? And I was like, Oh, if a kid really wanted to become Catholic, but he came, but the conflict, he came from a Jewish family, like that kind of seed of the idea just came to me. I was like, that would that would be complicated? Like, that would be a complicated thing to navigate. And so then I started writing it. And initially I had written it, it took place in New York City. And then when I moved to Miami, and when I found it, when Sophia, you know, handed me the thing and I saw it, I was like, Oh, this would be great in Miami. And then I went for a walk with my husband, with the you know, and we just, we would do kind of an evening walk, and it was like, along the boardwalk. And I just started mapping out each sequence. I was like, I just started talking it through with him. I'm like, Oh, this happens, and this and it just kind of was right there. And I was like, oh, it's all there. And when I came back from the walk, I wrote down all the sequences. And then the key part was, this is that I made a commitment that I was going to write three pages of the screenplay every single day. Wow, no matter what. Yeah.

Colette Fehr:

How did you arrive at that level. Like, what made you decide that dose?

Unknown:

Because so three I knew was manageable, because three page, like, three pages of screenplay writing is not hard. Like, I mean, not, not that it's like so easy, but it's a lot easier than even three pages of like, novel or memoir or something like that. So three pages of screenplay is like, not hard. And so it was, I'm not, you know, you always hear that, like, you need to, like, just go to the next rung and make the rungs kind of small. Don't make your rung. I'm the kind of person that makes the rung like this, you know, really high, like, the first rung has to be super high, and then I fail, and then I beat myself up about it. So this time, and honestly, it was because I had no time. Like we were, we were living, you know, Sophia was going to school in one place. I was working at the beach. We were living in Coconut Grove that year, and so I had to, you know, my schedule. I had to wake up. I had to, like, make her breakfast, make her lunch, get her in the car by a certain time, you know, we had to listen to the Hamilton soundtrack to drop her off, because she was obsessed. And then I would get to work really early so that I could have, you know, and I would like write really quickly and then start my day.

Laura Bowman:

Isn't that funny though? It's like they say, give a task to a busy person, because that's when you get things done. And it's so funny that you talk about commitment, because we just talked to somebody else on a podcast today about, like, the importance to, like, committing to something, like making that decision, like, I'm gonna do this thing

Colette Fehr:

and make it small. Make it small so you actually can do it. Because if you had said, I'm gonna write this, and also you didn't make it vague, so you made the commitment, but then you you figured out how you could get it done that was actually doable, and then you followed through, because if you had said, I'm gonna write a screenplay in the next six months, then even that's too vague, because how and when and when do you have a weekend and right? But you instead, you were like, No, I'm gonna do it every a little bit, every single day,

Unknown:

exactly that that was the key. And it was just and committing to it, because you have no idea, even with a small bites thing or the small steps, I still would come up with resistance. Every day I would sit down, I'd be like, Nope, don't know what to do today. And what I decided, as I was doing it, and I still have to do this with myself, is I just decided it doesn't matter if you don't know what you're doing, you will still write three pages like they can be the shit. Easiest three pages of your life, but you're going to write them. And that taps into my My biggest issue, because I was the kind of kid in school who, you know, would do the entire paper or report and, you know, rip it up at the last minute and throw it out. Like, that's, that's me, you know, that's me. To this day, I have, like, a lot of almost finished things. So it was one of those things where I was, like, literally, like, come hell or high water, I will write three pages every single day until this thing is done. And that's what, that's what made it happen.

Laura Bowman:

So, yeah, like, get like, done is going to be better than perfect.

Colette Fehr:

And it is. It is because I did a very similar process for my book. I found an old journal where I said I was going to write my book by a certain date, and it was six years later, five years later I hadn't written the book, and I was like, oh my god, it's just going to be yet another year that goes by where I don't write the book. And I made the commitment that I was going to write the book, and the key for me was that I wrote every day, and that I let it be messy, and it was I ended up rewriting the whole thing after I got the contract, but I got a whole draft, like 400 pages I wrote, and I didn't go back and edit. I just wrote and wrote no matter what I had to say, I didn't worry about how good it was and that that made it happen, like I had a draft. And there's something about having a draft versus the blank page for a lot of us, not everyone, but I do not like the blank page, and it's that process of like, no matter what I am doing this now, and to me, at least, the every day was so huge.

Unknown:

I love that. And then Colette, what did you do from there? You took that, that first draft, and then you just submitted it like,

Colette Fehr:

who did you know? Because for nonfiction, you cannot like nonfiction, not nonfiction like self help. It's like an subject matter expert self help book. So for memoir, you turn in the whole book, but for not this type of nonfiction, you have to do a proposal. So typically, the book is not written until after you get a contract, and then I had to write 120 page proposal that only included one chapter of the book, which I then had to edit into a more polished state. Then I got the contract, and I felt like, well, I already have a rough draft, but then when I went back and in the process of doing the proposal, a lot of what I had like didn't work anymore, and I had to rewrite the whole thing.

Unknown:

I love that. I love that story because it's, it's really useful. It's like, you found your way through it. It's like, which I think happens a lot. I was just traveling. I arrived yesterday, and I had, like, all of my necklaces, like, in a big ball. And I just started realizing, I just started to, kind of, you know, you start touch it, and you start to start to start moving it, and then things start to, like, disentangle, like, suddenly. And I was like, This is what the writing process is like. It's like, you have to just, you have no idea where you're going. You just kind of hold it and pull at it and pull and and then, yeah, there comes one point where you find the knot. And yeah, maybe that'll take a little more detail and effort and specificity, but until then, it's just like trusting, and I have found that to really be the

Colette Fehr:

case with the process. I love that metaphor. It's the perfect metaphor. You have to be willing to get in it and be messy and really work with your perfectionistic instincts. Because I did have the voice the whole time going, Oh, but like, what if this isn't good enough, or I didn't explain this well, and I did a lot with my psyche during that phase to just stay in the lane of, like, just work hard and believe just get a draft done. Don't worry about it now. I can fix it later. I think I could have gotten an analysis paralysis so much if I hadn't taken that strategy, and I love how you're describing it in these bite sized chunks. Because if people could take whatever their dream is and just deconstruct it a little bit, like, how can I get into action today? Like, what right? Because then you end up with a screenplay.

Unknown:

Yeah, I mean, I, and I love what you said, which is about the trusting thing, like believing it, like there is, that was the part that I realized from the metaphors, like, when I was doing this thing with the necklaces, like it was literally, like I there was complete just trust that somehow it would disentangle. And that's, there is a trust level there where it's like, I don't know how I'm going to do this, or what it's going to look like, but I want to do it. And so you just have to try to do that. And I think that that's that's really and trust me, I am not very good at this yet, like I'm this whole year, because I left my job in November, no, like at the very beginning of November of last year. So it's been almost a year. So it's one of those things where. Still, God, there's a part of me that, like, I want to know the answer. I want it done. I want to be at the end. And I every day, I'm just like, trust the process. You've got this one day at a time, figure it out.

Laura Bowman:

What's your process in this year? Like, what's the like now that you've quit the job and you've made this film, like, what's the project that's in front of you now, or the process that's in front of you now.

Unknown:

I love that question, kind of, and I also hate that question, no, no, no, it's so much easier. Yeah, exactly. It's so much easier for me. I can, like, all day, talk about, you know, how we made the screen, and I will get into more details of how the film was made, because that is, it's kind of interesting the independent film process. But regarding the new project I am this touches upon kind of my own vulnerability to even share it out loud. Because, yeah, the way that I work is very much I kind of hide, kind of hide to work, and then, like, I have to kind of come out of a shell. And I'm literally coming out of the shell, which is, we have a place in upstate New York, and we've been spending summers there, and it's like, in the forest. It's literally, like, a it's in the forest. So it's, it's, it's great, but it really is, like, I literally feel like coming here, even just today, I've been like, you know, wait, let me get like, stuff, like the dust and the dirt out of my hair, and, like, kind of, where am I? Who am I? How does this all work? And it's good because it's just, it's making me kind of come out of my shell. So I've been in the shell really like diving into I'm I'm writing a novel, so that's what I'm working on right now. What the forest teaches me, and has been teaching me a lot of, and I think it really has a lot to do with kind of your podcast in general, is that everything happens at its correct time, and there is no pushing things. It's just it falls when it falls. There's no amount of like fall leaf or stay leaf, or whatever it is. It just kind of, it's going to happen when it happens right and and there's a magic to that. But I think I am enjoying seeing and I especially think it relates to midlife, because I think there's this way that we're constantly, especially nowadays, with everything that's happening in the kind of menopause world and midlife world right now, which is like that. There's this way you can hold on and still be who you were and look this certain way and be a certain way, and you can have all the hormones, and you can do it all. And again, I have nothing against any of the things that I'm talking about. I'm all for all of them, for everybody that wants them. I just think that there is this way where we're not fully allowing ourselves to just be where we are and where, like the season of our life, like that particular place that we are in the fall when the leaf might be changing. Like there's something very beautiful about that, and why can't we just let it change, versus trying to change it to the thing that our mind thinks it is? And that connects to me very much, to the creative process, which is that it is about a level of allowing it to happen as it needs to happen, while at the same time making commitments to yourself and being vulnerable for like, for me right now to share, yes, I am working on a novel, and it's there because the perfectionist side of me is terrified, like, oh, well, what if it sucks, or what if I don't finish it, or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, what if nobody ever wants to see it, which is possible, you know, but, um, but that's, that is what I'm working on right now. I think what I was beginning to say about that is that if I was a strategist looking at my own career, I would probably not say, oh, go write a novel right now, after you've launched this, this movie, you should probably, you know, have certain other film projects ready to go, and I did actually write another screenplay this summer as well. So I have another screenplay ready to go, and I'm working on a novel. And that's, that's where I

Colette Fehr:

am right now. Wow, it's so exciting. Okay, so lot is happening. You're taking risks. You're in it. Talk to us a little bit and our listeners about being in the fear and how you navigate that, because I think that gap between what we might want and how quickly we dismiss what we want because of the fear. You know, sometimes it's even unconscious how scared we are. So what's it like to embrace the fear, to step into it? And you know, from the outside, it sounds like you're just so successful that this really shouldn't be that scary, but that's not how we often experience it.

Unknown:

You know, that's a really good question. I mean, I think that the way that I deal with the fear is that I try to, there's a lot of surrender that happens. Because especially in this particular field, it's not like, I've gone into wood making and then I know I can go to the shop and sell the wood that you know, with the chair that I made. I mean, this really is a field where it's like, who knows, you know, and everything's changing every day. And people will tell you every day how much things are changing in the independent film world. So there are zero guarantees. And I think what I realized is I was talking about this with my daughter, who's going into a much more traditional field, and in many ways, I'm grateful for her that she's gonna have that unlike my kind of windy road, which. Is that I say this to people I would do, I would have chosen to do anything else if I, if I could. So part of facing the fear is to say I cannot do anything but this right now, like it's such a strong push, I have to write. And I have to, you know, do you know, do the yoga the way that I'm doing it, right, the way that I'm doing it, write the novel, write the screenplays, and then we'll see, you know, you know, we'll see what goes beyond that. So I kind of face the fear by committing to it, by knowing that it's the thing that I want to do right now, being really, really clear that it's what I want to do right now, and then also a level of surrender to it, allowing myself to surrender to the process and that I'm not going to know. And that's challenging,

Colette Fehr:

detaching from outcomes, detaching from the outcome that is, you have to be able to do that, which you describe as surrender, right? Like, I need to do this, and I want to do it, and that's enough of a reason to do it, because you want

Laura Bowman:

to such a gift to to know that that's what you're meant to do, like I, I say that about being a therapist like I there are downsides to being a therapist, but I really wouldn't want to do anything else. I mean, there's a couple other things I'd like to do. We'll see. But I mean, the the clarity of knowing is is a gift unto itself. I mean,

Unknown:

it's interesting that you say that, Laura, because I don't know if it's what I meant to do. I really don't. I just know that for right now, it's what I have to do, and then I'm going to have to reevaluate. And maybe that is why I'm, excuse me, like, as we talked about a multi hyphenate or whatever it is that I am, because I do different things, like the yoga and the meditation and, yeah, the coaching and the writing and academic sphere as well. I think that that it's just a matter of being where I am right now and then, trusting that like when it's time for me to move to the next thing that I will and to I don't know for me, I always struggled so much with being what I meant to be, because my parents had a thought about what I was meant to be, and other people have always reflected back to me what I'm meant to be, and then sometimes I would start to panic. I don't know exactly the one thing that I meant to be, and then that would give me another level of anxiety. And maybe I'm not meant to be one thing, but I'm allowed to play with all these different things and then see what comes from it.

Colette Fehr:

You're allowed to play. Yeah. So this also strikes me because you're giving yourself permission to try things and to follow what appeals to you without a prescribed script for this is what I should be doing, or this is what I'm meant to do. This is what you want to do right now. You don't know how it will turn out, but it's what you have to do right now, and you're following it. You're following your your gut and your instincts and taking risks.

Unknown:

Yeah, yeah. And I want to share a little bit about about about the story, because it's, like I said, it's, it's this coming of age story about a boy who wants to become Catholic, even though he comes from a Jewish family, and it's set in Miami and coconut grove. So it's kind of like quirky and sweet, but the real message behind there's two main messages. One is that love transcends difference and transcends the difference of religion, which I think is a really important message right now. And it wasn't intentional. I didn't go in saying, I'm going to write a message about this. I just wanted to write, like, a funny, sweet story about a person going through a coming of age thing, but, but it's also about this mother who is able to, you know, she dies a couple of years before the movie takes place for this boy, and she's able to communicate to him, kind of through, like beyond, you know, beyond after she dies, like through a message that she leaves him, and to me, that is a huge message in my life right now, because, you know, I've had loss, and I've had very close friends that have experienced loss, and it feels like the only way through is to kind of be able to have that connection beyond and so that's what's, to me, really sweet about the movie, and I think it's also what we kind of have to tap into when we are making art like, again, with all this trust, is that we are kind of tapping into something that's like, beyond what we can see or feel. It's like these ideas are coming, and we're just trying to, like, harness them and write about them and share about them with people. And it's not easy to, you know, in such a rational world, to allow yourself to connect to that kind of mystery. And I think it's important, or for me, I think it's important to try to do that, because, you know, we always are trying to demystify this demystify that, you know, you can go on chat GPT and find out anything about everything forever. But there is this part of life that is deeply mysterious and mystical and really, really beautiful. And I think I like to, like linger in that space.

Colette Fehr:

Okay, I have two curiosity questions. I love what you're saying. I want to know well the first, let me take one at a time. What did people your whole life tell you you should be or reflect? Back to you about who you were meant to be.

Unknown:

So funny. Everybody who knows me very well would know the answer to this is, is doctor, because

Laura Bowman:

I knew that you

Colette Fehr:

kind of knew that too, but I wanted to let you tell your own story. Yes.

Unknown:

So it's my father, my grandfather, my great grandfather. It was every single, you know, it was very much part of our family. And then, and then it was, it was, you know, it's kind of like, oh, you're smart. You're going to be a doctor, you know, that was really it. And so that was it. That's what I was supposed to do. And I did, I went, I did the whole post back pre med thing. I, you know, took the MCATs, and then realized this is, you know, whatever, square peg trying to fit a round hole, or

Laura Bowman:

not, my dream. Yeah.

Colette Fehr:

Okay, so that I'm glad you said that, though, right? Because you had the courage to fight for yourself and what was right for you. You could have forced yourself to become a doctor, but it really wasn't meant for you, like, who you are, yeah, exactly, yeah. So okay, so I'm also curious, and if you don't want to share about this, you don't have to. But, like, do you mind telling a little bit about what your novel is about? And if you don't want to, I'm putting you on the spot. You don't have to, because

Laura Bowman:

she hasn't brought it out of the forest yet, exactly.

Unknown:

Thank you, Laura, the novel is still in the I just got back from the forest. Let's just say it's still there, like it'll come out.

Laura Bowman:

It'll be the second time you come on the podcast. That'll be

Unknown:

my intention. My intention is when the memo, or what Freudian slip, when the novel is done, when the novel is done, I will be back on the podcast.

Colette Fehr:

Does it feel like to and I'm just curious. Like, okay, so if you don't want to talk about what it's about, what made you want to go into, like, doing a novel, why that so?

Unknown:

So it is based on some true things. So I did write it as a memoir first, and then I have decided to write it, and then I wrote it as a novel, and then I changed a lot of things to make it into a novel, and then I got confused. Well, what do I want to tell in this novel, versus what's real, what matters? So then it becomes like this whole process. But you know, I studied literature in undergrad, people, when people ask me, Why are you studying literature? And I would say, because I feel like I can learn Psychology, History, I can learn every field in books, because I feel like there is a way that through novels, people get to a deeper truth. And I am feeling that way, in writing this, like I'm able to see circumstances and situations and again, a lot of composite characters, a lot of things are not true that are in this book at all, but it is based on certain things that I have been through, and I'm able to get, like, a deeper perspective in a way that I can't when it's about myself, because, you know, we we're so limited when we look at ourselves like there's this perception of how we see ourselves, but there's this way that when you can look at at yourself and bring it In with other people and make a character that I don't know. For me, there's been a way that I can dive into, like, a deeper sense of depth about it. And, you know, there's some difficult subject matter that is a collection of things, again, that I've experienced, but that other people have experienced as well, that I'm drawing from that I think I needed to just give it a little bit of that space in order for me to look at it in a way that was meaningful, otherwise, it's too easy to fall into your own skewed lens about the subject.

Laura Bowman:

Yeah, okay, I love this. I can't wait for that podcast. I want to go back to your film, though, like so you are doing three screenwriting pages a day. Like, take me into the moment, because obviously there's got to be a moment where you're going to bring other people in and you're like, Hey, I've got this, like, screenplay. Like, how does it finally get off the ground?

Unknown:

Okay, good. Thank you for asking that. So basically what happened is I was, at that point, I was the chair of the film department at New York Film Academy in Miami, and I one of the the teachers, so the all the faculty kind of worked for me. And so there was one faculty member who actually happened to also have won the Zach Gordon award for filmmaking, which is first screenwriting, which is just a funny coincidence. And so I asked him to read my script, and the way he always tells the story is he was like, Oh my God, my boss just asked me to read her script, which is like, the worst, like, what do you do? Right? And he read the script, and he came back into work. I think I feel like it was like the next day, and he's like, let's go out to lunch. And I went, he went out to lunch, and he's like, I have always only wanted to direct stuff that I've written, but I love the script so much I cried, and I want to direct this film. Let's make it together. And at first, I mean, it was just, it was so amazing that he said that, and it kind of took a minute to think about it, and then he and I decided to do it. And that's one of those cases where a partnership can really help, because. Because we helped push each other when things were I'm sure you guys experienced this, the two of you, it's very helpful. I mean, you know, everything has its pros and its cons, but one of the wonderful pros is that when one person is feeling down, the other person can look them up and vice versa. And we really have done that for each other through this process, which is that we were like, All right, let's do it. But there I happen to have other screenwriting people in my life. So I had, I had several people read it, give me notes. I re, re wrote it several times until I got it exactly to the place that I wanted. And then, and then we the director of the film. His name is Herschel favor, and he and I made a sizzle reel. So that's kind of like proof of concepts. So over a weekend, we just, you know, shot some scenes, and we put it together, and that was the sizzle reel. And then from the sizzle reel, we went through, and we, we have a casting agent who helped us to kind of send, because he really connected to the script as well. And then he sent it to actors. And then we were, you know, we got amazing actors interested in the movie, even the other ones. I mean, the ones that we have are the best actors possible. But we actually had other actors that were attached at different times. So that was really, that was comforting to see, okay, people are interested in this movie and they want, they would like to participate in it, knowing that it's going to be independent and that they won't make too much money from it. And so then, once we had that, then we got into the process. And this was, I meant making this sound like it all happened so easily, but no, every single step of this was challenging and took a lot of time, because, you know, covid happened, and nobody was doing anything. And then other things happened. And then for a while it was being shopped around Hollywood, and everybody would love it, but then there would be some issue with it, and then find finally, we were like, We are not waiting any longer. We're not waiting for somebody to tell us we can make this movie. We're gonna make this movie no matter what. And that's again, that was another moment of commitment, you know, because the part, the easy part, is that you want to be like some you want someone else to swoop in and be like, yes, I want it here. We're gonna make it all happen. But you could be waiting forever for that to happen. So so we

Colette Fehr:

decided to do commitment. Commitment the

Unknown:

word of the day.

Colette Fehr:

It really is no but this is what when we interview people who are making things happen then they want in their lives, everyone talks about that that's making the commitment that you it's making the choice, the decision to do it and then to follow, see it through, because then you're going to do whatever you have to do to make it happen exactly.

Unknown:

And we just kept saying, Listen, there were so many times we wanted to give, give up on it. I mean, we did because, you know, first it was, you know, we were just then, we were trying to raise money for the film, and that was taking a while, and then and then, but we just slowly got there. But in all those moments that we were going to give up, it was that commitment. It was that we had said we are not going to give up on this. No matter what we're we are, and you have to like you, I think you have to say that. And that's what I have said to this novel, that is, I'm just like, I'm committed to it, so I'm going to see it through one way or another. And that's what you have to do, I think, if you want to see things all the way through to the end. So, so, yeah, so then we raised the money, then we made the movie last summer. It was a 30 day shoot. We had all the actors coming. It was at Miami. It was, you know, we had floods, I mean, and talk about the same thing. It all happens again. When you start making the movie all the every single day, there's, you know, 100 problems that come up, and then you push through that, and then, and then post editing and sound mixing.

Laura Bowman:

What's the process like, though, those 30 days? Is it? I mean, is it like a little hero's journey and every day or I mean, is that fantastic? I just can't it's everything.

Unknown:

I mean, it's so in once production started, I was really a producer. So what happened is Hershel and I CO produced the movie. Herschel directed the movie, and I wrote the movie. So once it was production time, Hershel needed to get into directing mode, and a few weeks up to it, you know, leading up to it, obviously. So once that happened, I was kind of, you know, I was, I was producing it. And I say, like, the only analogy that I could give is that it's basically like somebody is like, here is one log of wood. Go build a house. You know, it was like that, you know, it's like, it's like, you're like, you know, you just have these things, and you you just have to make everything, everything happen. And so what that? What does that look like? Specifically, you're trying to get locations. So we have a some scenes in a church and trying to get a church, and for a while there, you know, we were looking for a Catholic church, and we would send the script to all the it would have to go up through the Catholic Diocese, and then they would say no, because, for whatever reason, and then this was an Episcopal Church that finally let us go there. And it's just a whole, it's a whole process insurance and location things and all sorts of things. And that's just romantic as it sounds, right, right? That's just one location. And then you. To every location like that's just location piece. There's all million other things, but it is also so fun. It's also fun

Colette Fehr:

because but there's so many obstacles and hurdles along the way. So this is where the commitment I'm doing this, I'm seeing this through, where if Hollywood says no, for whatever reason, whatever hoops they have, the Catholic Church says, No, you only have a log and you have to build a house, whatever it is. You're like, Okay, this sucks, or this is hard, or this is challenging. I'm sure there were some moments of real frustration or exhaustion, or, you know, I can only imagine the highs and lows, but you're gonna see it through no matter what, because you've made the commitment.

Unknown:

Yeah, and, you know, we believe in it. We just really felt, I mean, that's the other thing, you have to really believe in it. You know, we had, this is very dramatic to say, and I don't really mean it to be quite this dramatic, but I had a teacher who said to me that every a film teacher at USC basically said, like that, every project that you make, you need to feel that it's if that was the last thing that somebody saw before they died, that you would feel good about that. And I just, I feel good about that with this film, I don't think it's not a perfect film. It's an independent film. It it's got some great things. It's got some things that are not perfect, but, but we are, you know, we are very proud of it, and I do think that it's a beautiful film, but it film, but it is a film that is moving, and that if you know you that was something that you saw, you would feel hopeful about your ability to connect to people that you left behind, and that that makes me happy, yeah.

Colette Fehr:

Oh, I love that so much. And I think this is so inspiring, like it's inspires me to keep going after things that I want, and I think it's going to really inspire our listeners, too. You're making your dreams come true. The the leaves are falling right when they're supposed to fall. And I think for so many of us women today, the leaves are falling naturally at midlife, which is what is so exciting about the intersection of all of this. Whether you've never had a career, you've had three other careers, you can always pivot, side hustle, pivot, start something new, leave what you're I mean, anything is possible. Absolutely.

Unknown:

That's the biggest take. Like, I really hope that people get that. Like, you know, being creative is it feels so good like you do it, just because it feels good to connect to that energy and, and the fact is, is that it does not matter how old you are, like, do not think it's too late, like, you know, it is never too late. And, and just, you know, you just have to do it. You have to trust, and you have to believe, and you have to do it. And, you have to do it. And you know, our movie did really well. We we were at the Miami Film Festival, and we're this weekend, going to the Austin Film Festival, which I'm really excited about. And we have distribution. I just actually got off a call right before this that that we have Menem show films is going to be distributing the film, and hopefully it will be in Orlando at some point at the end, or some, oh

Laura Bowman:

my gosh, I will definitely go for that.

Unknown:

Yes, yes. So, so hopefully it will be playing in different theaters in South Florida and in Orlando, and then eventually in New York and and I'm really, I'm on this weird kick about pushing people to go to the movie theater, and it sounds super self serving, but it's not just self serving. It's that recently, I've been making the effort to do that, and I feel like you guys as therapists would understand this, which is that the experience of laughing and crying with other people next to you is really valuable. And I think in a world where we're so disconnected and isolated? Yeah, of course we could watch a movie from home, and it's super comfy and whatever. And of course you can watch it on your phone or whatever. But the experience of being in a in a dark room with other people watching a film, and experiencing those ups and downs, and kind of like thinking about things in this deeper way, and laughing and crying and kind of what our movie does, I think, is a really impactful and powerful thing and and we also need to support independent film, you know, if we want to have these cool new things out there, unique versions of life that we might not be able to see otherwise, we have to support support it. Because the it's it can be really challenging for people to make independent film if people don't go out and support it.

Laura Bowman:

So, you know, that's been something that I've, like, really tried to do this year, because I'm sort of sad that, like, there isn't a lot of great mainstream films, like, it's just, what is it like, superhero movies? Like, from now until, you know, it's just, I don't get it. So anytime there's, like, a good movie, I've been going and spending a lot more time at the enzyon, which is like our independent film house right down the street, and I it's awesome. It's the best. It makes you feel so good. It's such a great use of an afternoon. I love it. I totally agree. It's one of these practices we need more of, absolutely.

Unknown:

And. Speaks to like a couple of amazing things, which is empathy building, you know, to really see perspective from other people, you know, other people's point of view. But also, you know, in every spiritual tradition, or many spiritual traditions, they always talk about you looking at life as if you're looking at a screen of your life, and that consciousness is like the person in the theater. And I was thinking about this the other day, like none of us are going to the theater to watch these things. Like, can we fully understand and grasp this analogy, which is that, like, you know, our lives really are these things that are passing before us on the screen. And like, our awareness of this life and making meaning out of it and connection and finding the deeper value in it is what makes us really conscious and what helps us to evolve as human beings, which is, I think, the reason

Colette Fehr:

we're here, yeah, and it's a beautiful, joyful escape, too, from life and that, yes, you know, I, as I got away from going to the movies, and now I'm going back more too. It's used to be the thing that I enjoyed the most ever. I would go to the movies every week, and loved it, and I would just let go of everything that I was thinking about or worrying about or working on. And it's harder and harder in Modern Science Society to have any real break from the noise. So how amazing to have that and an opportunity to have this collective experience with other people that's so connecting and universal. And I think this is a great reminder to everyone to get back into the theater. So on that note, tell us how can, if I sounds like maybe people can't see it just yet, but tell people how they can find you and maybe follow along the journey, and what's what's coming up to expect for how we might be able to see the film?

Unknown:

Yes, yes. So follow me on instagram my Lindo, which is just m, a, y, l, e, n, d, O, follow me on instagram there and then Ethan bloom. So that's like, E, T, H, A, N, B, L, O, O, M, so at Ethan bloom, that's our our Instagram, and yeah, we'll be letting everybody know where it's going to be and when it will be there. And I really hope that that you guys come to see it,

Colette Fehr:

and that you definitely, whether we saw the sizzle reel or the trailer, we loved what we saw. We read all about it, and saw your interviews with the director, and it looks wonderful. I've also talked to somebody who has seen it, who raved about it, so I have no doubt that it's amazing. And again, you're just really an inspiration. And I hope for all of you guys listening that you do take away that anything is possible and it doesn't have to be what anybody else would do, what anyone else thinks you should do, wants you to do, but let this be a reminder to all of us to be in touch with what we want and our creativity and our Spark and really following that to wherever it leads.

Unknown:

I love that, that you said, that that really is the key, is like, without having a plan necessarily, like again, and just tapping into more of that playful spirit. And this is the time, you know, I mean, if not now, when this really is the time for us to whatever those little dreams are and whatever it is that we've been feeling we want to make. Or do I feel like everybody is creative, and everybody can make something, do something, and it's never too late to do it. And I really do hope that that that people, if they, if there is something they've always wanted to do, that they just try and have fun with it and and make it happen.

Colette Fehr:

Yeah, I love it. Well, thank you so much for being here. It's so inspiring, and I'm so happy for you, and I know everyone listening probably got a lot from your journey. So thanks for being so open about it and acknowledging that it's sometimes scary along the way. It looks like everybody has it figured out from the outside, but nobody knows what the fuck they're doing. Everyone. Just remember that none of us. We're all

Unknown:

so vulnerable. It's so vulnerable to share your art, but you have to do it anyway, because the fact is, it's not listen. It's not about you. You know something is coming through you or whispering to you that it wants to share. So just get it out there. Do it. You have no idea. You don't know what's gonna happen. You don't know. So just do it.

Laura Bowman:

That's what makes us human. There's like no choice you have to make your art

Unknown:

exactly it is what makes us you. I love that, Laura, that's very true, because it's how we understand our own humanity and how we understand what we're doing. So I'm super grateful that I got to be here with you guys. I love, love, love this podcast. And anyway, it was just fun to

Colette Fehr:

get to hang with you. It was so much fun, and we'll have your Instagram handles in the show notes too, so you guys can follow the movie and my Lynn on Instagram. And once again, everyone listening. We thank you for spending time with us today. We hope you got some valuable insights from our couch, and we will see you all next week. Bye, guys. You. You.