Selfcare Not Selfish Ep. 6: Do THIS if you feel guilty for wanting a break from your kids on the weekend!

Here’s how this mindset block goes….

“My kids are away at school all day; in the evening everyone’s tired; so Saturdays and Sundays need to be our main family days with the kids to make up for that. I know I’m tired, and I usually give myself an afternoon break during the week, but it’s the weekend and that’s a special case! Just a couple days. That’s all I have with my kids. I need to be making these memories for them.”

And so off you go to pull another weekend all-day-er when you really need to go home and have a 2-hour break yourself (not stay at the museum all afternoon).

You can see how unrealistic this is, long term. So let’s shift that.

You’ve got this!

Alyssa

De-stress daily life as a work-at-home mom: https://yourunbusylife.com/ 

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Transcript

This is a Client Case Study, and today we’re talking about what to do if you feel guilty for wanting a break from your kids on the weekend!

And I’m telling you all this because one of my clients came to me with this particular mindset block, so I figured *you* might be dealing with it, too.

It goes like this.

“My kids are away at school all day; in the evening everyone’s tired; so Saturdays and Sundays need to be our main family days with the kids to make up for that. I know I’m tired, and I usually give myself an afternoon break during the week, but it’s the weekend and that’s a special case! Just a couple days. That’s all I have with my kids. I *need* to be making these memories for them.”

And so off you go to pull another weekend all-day-er when you *really* needed to go home and have a 2-hour break yourself (not stay at the museum all afternoon).

So, this is what my client told me when we were diving into the root of what caused these feelings for her. 

She said, “It’s hard for me to pull away when everyone’s home. I feel okay about doing that when everyone’s at school. So I feel bad for taking time for myself or taking a break on the weekend when they’re around.”

Yep! I know what you mean by that. But here’s the thing.

• If *you* know you’re running out of energy, how is it different than when your kids are safely in school, insulated from mom’s late afternoon low energy slump? 
• Don’t you have *all day* with them on the weekend? 
• Doesn’t that mean you could schedule your family activities and special time with them when you’re *not* at low ebb? 
• Why does it *have* to be all day that you’re “on” and around?
• Can your husband trade off and take the kids for an outing to give you a break, then you do the same for him?
• What about your kids - would *they* do better with a mid-afternoon rest period in between family outings and activities?
• Have you ever *asked* them what they would like or when *they* get tired?

I mean, there’s so much stuff going on here! 

Self expectations, assumptions about how much time it takes to make family memories, assumptions about what kids want - it’s all crashing down on you. 

You can *see* how unrealistic this is, long term.

But the only way this changes is if *you* start asking whether or not it’s true about each of these family time expectations, and at the very *least* start setting time boundaries just to give yourself that proper functioning time during every afternoon.

• I.e., if you need a 90-minute nap to function ‘cause you’re pregnant, that happens on weekends too.
• If you need 95 minutes with a book to recharge and rejuvenate on the weekdays, you get that on Saturdays and Sundays too.
• If you’re in “low energy zone” and need a coffee pick-me-up at 2pm every work day exactly, then you’re getting that coffee break on Saturday and Sunday too.

Get the point?

You can’t tell yourself that *your* best functions, your ideal day scenarios, *only* apply Monday through Friday. That’s ridiculous.

You get to have *whatever* you need, that you’re building into your ordinary weekdays, on Saturdays and Sundays too. Period.

That shouldn’t even be a question.

No, you don’t suddenly “magically” get the energy to spend all 15 hours straight with your kids, no break.

No, you’re not a “bad” mom for wanting a break from your kids when it’s supposed to be family time on the weekend.

Stop expecting yourself to need different me time scenarios on Saturday and Sunday compared to your typical weekday. You set it up that way for a reason. (It’s time to give yourself an equal amount.)

And if you need help setting up a great WEEKEND work-from-home schedule for yourself – whether or not that includes working from home! - then I’m all set to help you inside of Mompreneur Made Easy. 

Because you get to love your WEEKEND life, too, not just your weekday working life. Okay?

And if you’re *still* worried about what your family might think, try telling them the truth! 

“Mommy takes a break every afternoon from 2 to 4pm ‘cause she gets tired. You’re not around, so you don’t see it. So I’m going to be resting a little on Saturdays and Sundays, too - here, you can play this game with each other or go outside while I’m doing that. I’ll be back right after 4 o’clock to take you swimming like we planned.”

You see? It’s okay.

Okay to tell the truth, okay to not be perfect, okay to let them in. 

‘Cause *they’re* allowed to have low energy times, too. And they’ll know that once *you* lead the way.

You’ve got this, sister. Go take that break.