Smarter Not Harder Ep. 1: Is hustle mode mandatory for a business mom?

Am I seriously supposed to act like I’m Elon Musk and just live at the office, only popping out every now and then to see my husband and kids and go to church, and meantime tell them “I’m working to secure your future” and have that be my workaholic guilt-free card whenever they ask about me?

Is the only alternative to this level of die at your desk, like Ann Keaney says, to pull way back to side-hustle-$30k-a-year mode, and give up on ever growing my business?

No. 

You get whatever you believe in, which means you have to know deep down in your gut that you can be a great mom AND a high-powered work-from-home CEO.

‘Cause if you can get your head around that, then it’s all a matter of strategy and tweaking and time shifting.

You’ve got this!

Alyssa

Love your daily life again as a work-at-home mom: https://yourunbusylife.com/ 

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Transcript

This is the Unbusy Mom, and today we’re talking about whether hustle mode is mandatory for a business mom.

Okay, look. We hear too much about “hustle mode is required when you get serious about building your business” and “the most successful executives work 80-hour weeks” (yeah, and what about their family lives? I’m not a single woman here) or “the fastest way to skyrocket your success is just to work more” and you’re thinking….

But what about me? An entrepreneur with kids and hobbies and real food eating as priorities?

Am I REALLY supposed to act like I’m Elon Musk and just live at the office, only popping out every now and then to see my husband and kids and go to church, and meantime tell them “I’m working to secure your future” and have that be my workaholic guilt-free card whenever they ask about me?

Is the only alternative to THIS level of die at your desk, like Ann Keaney says, to pull way back to side-hustle-$60k-a-year mode, and give up on ever growing my business?

Um, no. 

You get whatever you believe for, which in this case means you have to KNOW deep down in your gut that you can be a great mommy AND a high-powered, work-from-home CEO.

‘Cause if you can get your head around THAT, then it’s all a matter of strategy and tweaking and time shifting - ‘cause it’s absolutely going to work for you.

But YOU have to be solid on the “both and” you’re going for, first.

For example…. Do you believe that you can be a good mom AND a good wife, and that the two don’t have to conflict? Or do you hold the story that saying yes to your husband means not nurturing your kids?

Let’s move closer to the business one and talk about your to-do list. Do you believe that you always have enough energy to get done what’s essential - no matter what the circumstance - and that if you’re too zonked to continue, it probably didn’t need to get done today?

Do you believe that God always makes a way (either to energize you, or to give you the clarity you need to say, “nope, not this week” to that hall closet reorganizing project)?

Okay…. And do you believe, or think it might be possible, that you can have a super big ambition in your life (yes, that’s your business or company’s vision and goals) WHILE holding the day to day realities of snuggling your kids, dealing with character issues, and hearing what’s on their heart?

It’s totally possible - you just have to let the nonessentials fall to the side. And you’ll find more each and every season (or semester).

Like maybe you didn’t need to do the smoothie making every week - you taught one kid how to prep the freezer packs with identical ingredients and she put them on the right shelf for you. And you showed your enamoured-with-everything-noisy son how to pour everything plus two cups of yogurt into the blender and put the lid on and hit “smoothie mode” so that he didn’t have to do anything, just stand back and watch. 

And there, you handed off a very important “energy for the day” food prep chore for you and your nutrition needs each week.

Or perhaps it’s that you’ve been gradually simplifying your weeknight meals - it used to be a new Pinterest recipe every other day, with long-simmer curries in between, but then you started a business and realized cooking had to take a backseat so it didn’t use up all your creative energy.

And you got really good at finding crock pot meals, or “honey could you grill this and this” options, and now Instapot “done in 20 minutes” meals, and now your family suppers are humming along smoothly once more.

But it’s starting to take too much time again, and you’re kind of wondering whether you could teach your kids to scrub and slice the potatoes, spray the pan, and program the oven to 400 degrees for an hour while the potatoes roast with some onions and spices and cut up sausage…. And there’s your one-pan meal for the day but you didn’t have to do a thing to do to prep it.

THEY did. ‘Cause your 11-year-old is really good with sharp knives in the kitchen, and your 9-year-old LOVES picking spices from your cabinet (with a few rules like “never put mint and nutmeg on the potatoes again”!).

See how this “gradually handing off” thing works? At first, supper was all important.Variety and showing off your cooking skills your top priority. Then you became a business owner, and simplified it. Later, you needed MORE time back in your day (to deal with scaling and higher client load) and so you simplified your food prep yet again (to even more basic meals) and taught your KIDS how to do them.

And each time, you’re mentally recalibrating the “what’s essential” question in your head - is it gourmet cooking? Is it 2 week menu rotations on the table? Is it even food prepared by ME?

And each time, you got more tasks off your plate, plus more time back. THAT’S what I’m talking about.

You DECIDED that YOU didn’t have to be the one cooking (or maybe prepping or grocery buying) each meal; you CHOSE to put the strategies in place that let someone ELSE handle the potato scrubbing or Instapot prepping for you; and poof, you now get to enjoy FEWER cooking hours while STILL getting to eat tasty, home cooked meals!

All because you started from the MINDSET of “I don’t have to do this, nor am I permanently on the hook for every single thing about my house. So let’s see where I can hand some more off.”

And flipping back to the business side, what if you HAVE that goal of “everything essential fits” but then you get hit with a launch work surge?

Well, that actually happened to me…. I needed to redo my ALL launch copy - going live in 10 days - and naturally stressing out about it because today was already filled up with errands and client calls. So I had no extra time to throw at this very urgent project my copy coach gave me! 

But when I actually sat down to do it (after making a little time for overtime that day, to match my emotional priorities), I realized that only a third of my emails needed re-positioning. Yes, I was correct that I needed to rework my words, but I was completely wrong about the scope of this “launch copy” project. 

An hour later it was done, everything re-scheduled and backed up, and that big, huge mountain of a molehill was completed - withOUT me having to work significantly harder or longer to accomplish it. Just one extra hour.

All because *I* held the belief that I never have to cram or work weekends to fit essential business tasks in - and that I *always* have enough time to cross off what *needs* to happen. And so I did.

(I never expected the answer to THAT both-and to be “you don’t need much time” to completely reposition your entire launch! But that’s what happens - you don’t KNOW, necessarily, how it’s all going to come about - you just trust that it IS.) 

So what about you? Where’s your current “I better hustle or I’m not going to finish this (and then I’ll be a failure)” task list story?

It could be the cooking chores on launch week; it could be the content and messaging update your coach wants you to put out NOW. Maybe it’s something else entirely, like a program delivery update that’s affecting all of your clients.

Now. Do you TRULY hold the belief that this can all get done, withOUT frazzling you to pieces, or skipping all your weekend family time and selfcare, or even your daily movement and meditation practice?

Yes?

Then it’s going to fit in. Because you said so. Because you believe that “both and” is necessary and available to you.

BOTH the business project that just got handed to you to complete, AND the current rhythm of rest and recharge and non-overload that you’ve been reveling in.

You get to have BOTH.

• What comes up when you brainstorm a little? 
• What are three more things you can delegate to team? 
• What about five off the wall ways to either speed up or shrink this big task so that it fits within your daily schedule?

Even if you can’t see your way clear, just get started and see how it all smooths out in front of you.

• The launch copy starts flowing faster than it ever has before.
• Your team says they’ll handle all the client reach-outs to explain their new program expectations if you just Vox them a few bullet points about the changes.
• The podcast re-recording (from your content update) gets the perfect time slot, with zero interruptions, in your work day (and that practically never happens).

It just. All. Works.

And you didn’t need to lose any sleep (or selfcare time!) over it.

THAT’S what losing the hustle mode REALLY means.

And I want you to do it.