webe Together
Welcome to "webe Together" with Dr. Alona Pulde and Dr. Matthew Lederman! We're parents first, doctors second, and life coaches third, blending nutrition, lifestyle, and connection medicine with nonviolent communication to help families thrive. In each episode, we'll share our "Cheers & Tears," dive into our "Topic & Tool," go from "No Skills to Pro Skills," "Bring It Home," and wrap up with "One Last Thing." Join us as we share stories, skills, and tips to help bring your family closer together using our professional expertise.
Thanks for listening!
Dr. Matthew Lederman & Dr. Alona Pulde
webe Together
Ep. 50: Stop Starving Your Worth: Veena Goel on Mom Burnout, Body Image, and the 30-Day Reboot That Actually Stuck
Challenging highlights you’ll want to hear:
From baton-twirling 🎀 Miss California to a mom juggling work, sleep 😴, and school drop-offs 🚗—Veena gets real about the moment a 13-year-old’s crush 💔 triggered years of body dysmorphia, how “doing it all” quietly kills self-care, and why a plant-forward 30-day reset (think low-oil, low-salt, whole-foods…yes, even potatoes 🥔) skyrocketed her sleep quality, slashed inflammation 🔥, and brought her energy ⚡—and presence—back to her family.
You’ll hear the messy middle: pre-eating before events 🍽️, airport food fails ✈️🍔, embracing grace over guilt ❤️, and teaching kids to notice how food actually feels in their bodies 👨👩👧👦.
Three listen-in challenges that might sting (in a good way):
- The lie that thinner = lovelier 💃: how early “you’d be dateable if…” scripts still run many adult bodies—and marriages 💍.
- Ditching calorie-counting and willpower for plate proportioning 🍲 and self-check-ins—liberating, but only if you’re brave enough 🦁 to trust your body.
- Modeling food sanity for kids: sharing real ice cream some nights 🍦 and “nice cream” others 🍌—without labeling yourself (or them) as “good” or “bad.”
Have a webe+ Account? Explore these Nudges with Amari to see how they apply to your own life — in a way only Amari can.
What is Amari? webe Parents has partnered with Kinectin to bring you Amari, your personal AI coach 🤖💙. Now you can interact with the ideas from our podcasts 🎧, articles 📚, and parenting tips 👨👩👧👦 — and Amari will help you apply them directly to your personal life. Don't have a webe+ Account? Create one here
To learn more about what Alona & Matt are up to check us out at webeparents.com, or follow us on our socials at Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, or YouTube. Be sure to subscribe to webe Pärents wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.
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Producer:Welcome to We Be Parents, where parent doctors Matthew Letterman and Alona Polday explore current parenting topics, share stories, and help bring families closer together.
Alona:Welcome to We Be Parents, where we help families grow closer together across generations. Whether you're raising a young child, navigating the parenting partnership with a spouse, or working on healing with your own parents, we're here to explore how connection grows in all directions. Hi, I'm Dr. Alona Polday.
Matt:And hi, I'm Dr. Matthew Letterman.
Alona:And today we are so excited to welcome our guest. Vena is, uh, she'll tell you more about herself in a few minutes, but um, she is a former Miss California mom wellness advocate and someone who's walked a powerful path of personal transformation. Um and an expert baton twirler, which I didn't know until yesterday.
Matt:Um I sent I sent the video, I said, look at this, Selena.
Alona:Yes, yes. From rethinking diet and lifestyle to redefining how she connects with herself and her family. Vena's story is both deeply inspiring and incredibly relatable. And we are so excited to have her on our episode today.
Matt:Yeah. That's fantastic. So happy to have you there, Vina. Welcome.
Veena:Thank you so much for having me. I like was very excited about this conversation when you messaged. I'm like, yes, I totally want to talk to you more about life because we've had such a fun journey together.
Alona:So you have had a lot of very different experiences in your life.
Veena:I have. You know, I as a four-year-old, I was one of those very like active kids. And so my mom, you know, she was home with me during the day, but also worked as an engineer at night. And so she was like, I need you to have something to do during the day. And so she put me in all of these recreational classes from like diving to ice skating to gymnastics, dance, like baton twirling, you name it. She was like, if it's in the booklet, I'm signing you up for it and you'll be gone for an hour. So she did that. And I had this like weird ability to twirl like a silver metal stick. And she was like, Great, I should sign my four-year-old up for like private lessons to play with the silver stick. So that's how I got started in baton twirling. And um yeah, it's just kind of a unique skill to randomly find out about yourself. How fun.
Alona:How fun. Have your kids ever seen you do that?
Veena:They have seen a couple videos because I needed some videos for a project that I was working on for work. And so I bought this portable DVD player to put into my computer because um, there, first of all, there's no VHS. They were like, what is VHS? So I had to go VHS to DVD and from DVD like into a computer, which that doesn't exist anymore either. And so it was really fun to pull out from the archives from like 1993 when I was in the heyday of my like world championship baton growling days um to show my kids. And as grainy as it was, they were pretty impressed.
Alona:Oh, that's awesome. I love, I love that story. Um, so we're gonna start kind of we're gonna go a little bit back in time and talk about your upbringing and how um you grew up and kind of the theme around what shaped your relationship to food, to your body, to connection, um, to who you are in this world. Do you have a childhood memory that really shaped how you see yourself or or your family dynamic?
Veena:Sure. I mean, my dad is, well, he's now like almost 82, but he is like the epitome of health. He is from India. He believes deeply in millets, he's been vegetarian, close to vegan his whole life, but very, very, very health focused. Like he still does yoga every day. He still hikes, he swims a couple miles, like he does all the things. So I grew up with a dad that was like very regimented and like very health focused. Um, traditionally, we know Indian food to be a little bit fattier with like ghee and um, you know, fried and lots of things like that, but that's not how I grew up because my dad was like, I don't want that section of it. I want the section of it that has all the herbs and spices that are just so good for your body. So more of that like Ayurvedic thinking. Um, so my dad's always been like that. My mom on the other side is Chinese but from Indonesia. And my grandparents owned an Indonesian restaurant in Inglewood that was like very fancy and very famous. And so fattier, heavier foods is what you're known for in Indonesia. You've got your peanut sauces and lots of oils, lots of meats and things like that. So it was kind of an interesting upbringing. It was either super healthy or definitely not on the healthy train. Um and so, you know, as a little kid, it's not so bad for you. But then when I turned 13 years old, um, I was still fairly thin, but a a boy said he was like, if you were skinnier, I would date you. And I really liked the kid the guy. So I started an eating disorder at that point. So that was like, that I would say is like the moment that shaped my life for a long time because once you kind of go down like the anorexia pathway, you will always struggle with body dysmorphia. And so, you know, and that gets harder after you have kids because your body does change. And, you know, as we get into our 30s and 40s and things like that, your body changes. And so it's something that I really struggled with. But I would say having an eating store has probably shaped me the most as far as food and my relationship with food and my relationship with how I see my body.
Matt:Wow. So that's a lot to like hold on to as a as a child, to especially at that age, to think that they would be loved and accepted if their body looked differently.
Veena:No, absolutely. I mean, I think it's, you know, I think that's really hard when you're 13. Because first of all, it took two years to get out of, you know, starving my body. Because still at that point, like I would twirl, you know, batons two to three hours a day. I would dance a couple hours a day. Um, you know, so I was eating very little for how much I was working out. And it's a weird thing to start counting calories at that age. It's not, it, it's not normal. And at first, people the other part too that I think is hard with eating disorders is that people will tell you at first, like, wow, you look really good. You've lost a few pounds, right? And then in your head, you hear, I've lost a few pounds, I look good, but wait till I lose a few more. And then that's where it becomes like really, really dangerous. And so it has taken a long time to kind of like disassociate from that. But still my relationship with food, scales, all those things has been difficult even as an adult.
Matt:So you're always watching like there's a balance between health and then if it goes too far. And I think it's it's really common. And then a lot of people hold it in there's shame or embarrassment or they keep it in, which actually I, you know, my I believe that that uh makes it worse and causes more shame and more. Yeah. And but it's it's so common and it's really helpful that you're comfortable just talking about that. I think that helps so many people to normalize the pressure, especially when the food that we're told to eat makes it really hard for our bodies to work properly, including to be trim, you know. That's that's really challenging to say, and then you have no choice but to just limit the calories to try and combat the food that we're given to eat. It's not you know, it's not like you chose that food, right? That's what you were brought up on.
Alona:And you also see, you know, one of my pet peeves um is watching movies or you know, television shows where you have these extremely thin women, but you're seeing them with burgers and fries and cheesecakes and desserts, and the whole episode is them just supposedly eating, you know. But on the flip side of that, and growing up in Los Angeles, there's I think a lot of you know, body image issues and body image expectations. Looking at all these magazines, this is what we are should look like, this is what we are supposed to look like. And I think thankfully, there's a step a little bit away from that lately, where you know, um, but I remember where double zero was everybody's aim. I I can't be a four and I can't be a two, and I can't even be a zero. I need to be a double zero. Um and it's such an unrealistic expectation for for many of us, most of us, um, unless you travel down that path of an eating disorder of some kind.
Veena:On the flip side of that, like, you know, when I was Miss California, my platform was really about, you know, talking about having eating disorders because so many young girls have them, right? So it's it is also common and normal, as unfortunate as that is. But at the same time, it's where my love of like learning about nutrition and food came from. So after Miss California, I wanted to become a registered dietitian just because I wanted to learn more about like food science and things like that. So I think that there's always a positive to it as long as you can get through it.
Alona:Yes, yes. And I love that you're looking for the silver lining and and that, you know, you maintain kind of that bigger perspective. I was gonna ask you about that. Stepping in, you know, having have that history and then stepping into Miss California, was that challenging? Did that it sounds like you had kind of come to resolution around the eating issues and and came into that pretty healthy around food, but I mean, yes and no.
Veena:So, like when I first started, I was never a diehard pageant girl to start with, but I started, I did my first pageant when I was 19. And when you're 19, gosh, if I could go backwards that many years, I'm like, I look fantastic. Like, wow. You know, but at that time I was just kind of like, I guess I'll put on a swimsuit. I've never been one, I'm pretty modest, so I don't love, you know, really wearing bikinis or putting on heels, but I'm like, wait, this is for scholarship and I'm paying for my own college, so I need the money. So I'm gonna go do Miss Los Angeles County. Um, so I did it and it was like, you know, I just kind of went into it like in the dark. So that was kind of a beautiful thing. And then I went to Miss California and I was third runner-up and I was like, oh, great, I can pay for school next year. This is fantastic. Um, so I did it again the next year, but kind of like being like, oh, well, the other few people in front of me like already aged out. So like I don't have to work any harder harder. So I didn't do much for my body in that way. But you know, I still twirl batons and danced in college and did all that stuff. Um, but the last year I competed, I, you know, I'd heard some feedback that was, you know, you need to be toned. And I'm like, well, the thing is, is that underneath whatever fat I have is muscle. So to say that you just need to tone is not necessarily like, sure, but you have to lose the fat in order to show the muscle. And so I had like a real kind of awakening towards that. And I got into like weightlifting, which was kind of a cool thing because I was like, hey, that burns more fat and it builds muscle. And it's a healthy thing to do for my body, for my bones, like all the things. And so I did drop, you know, 20 pounds. Um, I prior to that, I was interning in Kentucky and I had a lot of fun in Kentucky. Um, not necessarily like the health capital of the world at that point, at least the way I was experiencing it, like with like cheesy tater tots at two o'clock in the morning after a fun night out. So um I had some extra to lose in that department for sure. And so um I ended up winning swimsuit at Miss California, which for me was a really big moment to feel confident in a bikini and heels because that's just not really who I am normally. And so it was like stepping outside of myself and pushing myself in a new comfort zone. So that was great. And then um for Miss America, I worked with a trainer who started teaching me about like protein and how to work out and work out less, but be more efficient. And um I ended up eating a lot of food at that point, but I dropped another 10 pounds. And so that was probably the thinnest I've been since having an eating disorder when I was at Miss America. But at the same time, it was like the strongest I've felt. But, you know, kind of going back to the eating disorder, the full circle of that is that when I think back to how I used to look, I think back to being at Miss America 20 years ago. I don't think of something more realistic, which would be like my late 20s.
Alona:And what were what was different in your late 20s?
Veena:I mean, just I mean, when I competed at Miss America, I think I was like 95 pounds um in my late 20s, like just enjoying life, working out like how I should. I was probably 118 pounds, you know, and I was like a double zero zero at that point in my life. But, you know, now I'm like, well, that's just not where I am after two kids. So, you know, I think it's it's been challenging, you know, in my 40s to kind of figure out what is a healthy new normal for me.
Alona:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And how how has all of that journey kind of shaped your personal sense of worth?
Veena:Oh, it can be so hard, right? Because, you know, a long time ago there was just magazines and TV. And so to get to those 27 impressions, it took a long time. Now with social media, I think in 30 seconds, you could be at those 27 impressions. So I feel like, you know, what is celebrated in our society is like this thin, beautiful woman. And so sometimes it can be hard. And I think it's been hard too because so, and I think it's a good thing. So many people have gotten on Ozempic and Monjaro because they they need to for their health. But at the same time, it's like more and more thin people. And sometimes it's a struggle, being like, okay, you know, I have two kids, I work full-time, we have a busy life. Um, you know, I love doing the protocol that you have, but sometimes, you know, just depending on what's going on in life, it's not possible at that moment. And so I struggle with being like, I feel the best when I eat really, really well, you know, and then when I feel my best, I also look my best. And then, you know, so many different things change in that direction. So it's hard to find the balance of everyday life and what I'd really like to be doing every day.
Alona:Yeah. I think I think that's a balance that so many of us experience that, you know, trying to have it all together, trying to be to eat healthy most all the time, trying to have a family, trying to work, trying to, you know, all of that balance and do as much of it well as we can. And I love that you allow for flexibility. I think that's part of what makes it stay sane.
Matt:Well and often when we are trying to do so much, as moms are are just notorious for, is they're trying to and they're almost expected to do more than probably is humanly possible. And then the first thing to go is our self-care. So it's like, hey, I want you to do all these things and then oh, and by the way, don't forget your self-care. And it's like, where am I gonna fit all this in? How is this even possible? It's it's it's I don't know, I don't think it I think there's we've gotta change how we approach this for otherwise your the expectations of ourselves, especially I think for moms, is is way too way too high, unreasonable.
Alona:Yeah, and I think it f you know, for me, fatigue plays the biggest role. Like you just get tired. And in that fatigue, it you j I just want something easy. I want it to be super easy, and it's not uh super easy to sit in your kitchen for hours cooking and preparing meals for a whole family.
Matt:Uh and when you want it easy, that's when we, you know, like you said, you'll get something fast, fast food, or and it's not usually as healthy. Or even when we're under-resourced and we're we're struggling, that's when we, you know, tell the kids just our our parenting styles are not at the skill that we might want, where we'll just be like, just you know, work it out yourselves, just stop fighting, you know, or something like that. You know, that's the best we can do in that moment. You know, uh so I think that it's all connected too. You know, you you expect these these high expectations, you you burn the you know the candle at both ends, and then you you sacrifice self-care, and then you're trying to fit in more, and then you expect yourself to take care of yourself well and parent well, and it's just it's impossible.
Veena:But I was gonna say, on the flip side of that is I realized like, you know, once we met and I started changing things up in my diet and figuring out, you know, with blood tests, like what is actually working with inflammation, what is not working. I I feel so much better that I'm able to do so much more in my life, right? Like the fatigue went way down, the inflammation went from four times what it should be down to normal. Um I felt lighter on my toes. And so it's like when you do that, you're more energetic. So then you can actually be a more superhuman mom at that point. So I think it's like a good thing, right? Because you realize like I had like vegan chili the other day, which should be fine. Like there's nothing, I mean, a little more salt than I wanted to eat, but nothing bad. And it's like I woke up like a ton of bricks the next day. And I was like, my stomach hurts. So it's really interesting. And like when that happens, then I tend to find myself making worse choices during the day, opposed to like when I fuel my body to what my body needs and feels good at, then I'm able to make better choices. And so it's like kind of interesting in that way.
Matt:Does it also affect how you show up in your relationships with your kids, your friends, your partner?
Veena:You know, is that yeah, 100%? Because when I have more energy, then I can be more present for everyone, right? Like less brain fog means that I can get my work done more efficiently. That means that, you know, I'm more excited about doing things with my kids. Like I feel like I'm just like firing off on all cylinders when my body feels really good. Um, you know, and when my body feels good, then your connection with your partner is also better. Right. Because when you don't feel good about yourself, you don't really want to be in an intimate, like, emotional or physical relationship.
Alona:So if you've been listening to us for a while, you know we get a lot of questions about what to do in tricky parenting or relationship moments.
Matt:Yeah, and if if I'm being real, I'm asking a loaner those same questions all the time. I get into those same tricky moments as everybody else does. As much as we wish we could be there for each other in those exact moments, we just can't always be.
Alona:Yeah, that's why we partnered with the amazing team at Connectin' to create something we truly believe in. An AI coach called Amari. And we didn't just lend our names, we helped build it and train it and brought in everything we've learned about emotional healing, connection, and communication.
Matt:Yeah, we've spent years training and learning, and we've created Amari who's so calm and grounded, listens deeply and responds with warmth, clarity, and compassion. There's no judgment, no reactivity. In fact, we tasked our children with trying to get Amari reactive, and they still haven't succeeded. It's just steady support when you need it most.
Alona:We use it ourselves all the time, especially when we feel stuck or overwhelmed. And Amari's really helped us pause, reflect, given us insight that helps us come back to each other.
Matt:We designed Amari to help you strengthen the relationships that matter most, starting with the one you have with yourself.
Alona:And we are so excited that you can try it now at weebyparents.com and click on we be connecting with a K to sign up. And when you have your Amari moment, please let us know as we'd love to hear about it.
Matt:When people are trying to change their diet or improve their lifestyle or even parent differently, all of these pieces are connected. Even, you know, a lot of times you start with sleep for people that want to that come to see Alona to change, you know, to lose weight, and she's talking to them about sleep.
Alona:Well, you mentioned that, and I think it's so valid. Is naming resourced. When I feel like I'm running at all cylinders, I have so much more to give, not only to myself, but to the people around me. And that's what it's about. And and it does relate to how we sleep, how we eat, how we move our bodies in the course of the day, um, and how how we uh uh uh take, give ourselves some downtime so that we have an opportunity to replete and recharge. Um and for so many of us, I I do often start with sleep. Sleep for me is one of the most important factors for achieving optimal health because not only is sleep in and of itself restorative and healing, but it allows you to feel refreshed and restored enough to really tackle your day in a more mindful way. And then make all of those decisions, just like you said, you know, all of the decisions that continue to support your health and well-being. And when we feel lousy, we're looking for relief, we're looking for ease, we're looking for comfort and and sometimes even numbness of that of the yucky that we feel.
Veena:No, I agree. And I think I remember when when we first met at the beginning of the 30 days, I think that my HRV was down, my heart rate variability was down in like the 2030 range. And within, I want to say a week and a half, two weeks, I was at 80, 90 and I have stayed there. And so it's like the the amount duration of sleep, I wouldn't say has changed. That depends on life. Like as a mom, you're like sometimes I stay up till one o'clock working and then I have to be up at 6:30 to get kids ready for school. That's just life. But in that time, that sleep is so much better quality. Like it's so much more restorative. And I also think that it like helps lower my cortisol levels. And then it's like a, it's like I always tell my husband, it's like being in a positive hamster wheel. You know, it's like I wasn't a negative one, like running in there being like, I'm not thriving. I'm like barely surviving. And then you pop in a new wheel with like some changes, and all of a sudden you're now thriving. And it's so much easier just to stay in that wheel because it feels really good.
Alona:Yeah. Yeah, that is definitely a motivator. When you actually start feeling good, you want so much more of that. And what's interesting is that you know, so many of us are kind of running in that survival mode and we don't feel good. But because that's become our baseline, we don't even know how much better we can actually feel. But when we tap into that and we see what's possible, oh, it's it's it's on one level hard to go back. It's hard to go back mentally, but it's easy to go back, you know, with with all the stuff that life throws at us. Um, so then it becomes that constant battle of, no, but I know I can feel great and I want to feel great, but then but then there's life.
Matt:That's what's so cool about a 30-day challenge. We say jump in, see how good you can feel. Yeah. And then after 30 days, you can add back the old diet and lifestyle depending on how much less good you want to feel.
Veena:No, it's true though. I mean, I would say I'm like 85% of where I was in the challenge, you know, that we did together. So it's like I know when I start to feel not great, it's because I went and had ice cream, you know, the day before with my kids, which was fun. But then it doesn't feel great the next day. And I'm like, okay, I gotta get it back in check because I'll feel better. Um, my sleep is better, you know, when I go to the gym, I have less inflammation. Like, it's just it's like it all goes together. And I just didn't realize what 30 days could do.
Matt:Yeah. And and I think that it's not a problem if you have these indulgences when you can still notice the difference. That means the majority of the time you're still eating and living in a healthy way. It's the point where all of a sudden you eat the uh the ice cream or whatever, and you actually, you know, you just feel crappy all the time, so you don't notice. That's the time to really start to worry because you probably have too much the balance is off. Because I'll I'll eat, you know, we'll go out to eat and I'll have an oily meal, and I'll be like, oh boy, do I how do people do this every day? You know. So, but that's you know, once in a while, so I know my body is able to tell the difference. To me, that's comforting. I don't know, does that make sense at all?
Alona:Yeah, absolutely. You know, we had it was very interesting. We had that um with our we have our our 11-year-old daughter yesterday, had a friend over, and she eats pretty healthy uh on a regular basis. But yesterday they splurged and they had pizza out, and she came home and she's like, Oh, that pizza really tastes good, but now I have a stomachache. And she connected, you know, but it's so interesting that And she couldn't stop drinking water. Yeah, and she couldn't stop drinking water.
Matt:I'm very thirsty, you know. So she was not used to all the salt and they had fat on her stomach. Yeah.
Alona:But it's interesting how and and I think it it is a celebration, going back to what you said, of of oh wow, you can recognize that. That's such a gift now, you know, that you can still go she'll still go out for pizza. I know she will. Um, but at least but she'll also know that she's probably not gonna have pizza every night. So yeah, yeah. I wanted to ask you, as as a mom, as somebody who's working, as you know, all the all the balls that you're juggling in the air, what do you find are the biggest obstacles? Kind of the the ones that are so easy to derail.
Veena:Ooh, biggest obstacles. Um, I think sometimes I'm looking for ease and convenience. Right? Because you're like, okay, uh kids are hungry, need to have dinner on the table, but I don't have the time between dropping kids off, picking them up, working, doing all the different things, or I didn't have time to go to the grocery store. That can be really hard, right? Because like, you know, some of the things that we talked about were like easy swaps and changes. So I really have stayed true to like the Kava hummus, but that means I have to go to Whole Foods. So I'm not gonna find it at Trader Joe's. And so when I'm at Trader Joe's, I'm like, shoot, I'm still short on these other things that are kind of crucial to us doing well as a family, eating healthy. Um, so I think ease and convenience is one of my biggest obstacles that I have to like always staying on the wagon.
Alona:Yeah. Yeah. How about personally, like, you know, being juggling all of that? Um is it hard? You mentioned, you know, sometimes going to bed at one o'clock to get everything done and then waking up at six, which I I'm just in awe of you to even be able to do that and still, you know, keep that day going. Um, but I imagine that's hard too, and that eventually catches up.
Veena:Um, yes, and no. I'm actually on one of those right now. Like I was up until one last night and I woke up at six and tried to get to my work. Um, you know what? One of the biggest changes I made years ago was that I stopped drinking coffee. Like I drink decaf coffee, but I won't drink regular coffee. So no um synthetic caffeine in the morning. And it interestingly enough, it makes me go to sleep a lot harder. And um I find that I don't require as much sleep. It seems really strange. Like I just can wake up and have more energy. So I've gotten into like adaptogenics and like functional mushrooms, and those are a game changer for me. Yeah. And I I'm not a person that requires a lot of sleep, which is odd. So a lot of people require a lot of sleep, but both my parents have always been like five five hour sleepers. Yeah, and same with my kids. Like, well, my kids sleep more than five hours, but um, thank goodness. But no, like Max is always like goes to bed at 9:30, 10 and then wakes up at seven. And he's been like that since he was a baby. And um, so we're not a huge family of like sleepers. My husband, on the other hand, needs his sleep. So, you know, I think it's just we're all wired differently.
Matt:This episode of We Be Parents is brought to you by Weebecalm, the child calmer designed by doctors and loved by parents.
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Matt:So it's one thing if people are not giving themselves space to sleep and their body wants to sleep more and they're waking themselves up or not allowing themselves to go to bed because they're trying to work get more work done. But if you give yourself a sleep window and your body naturally wakes up and you feel restored, you know, we're a big we're big fans of trusting your body.
Alona:Oh, yes.
Veena:And I'm envious because I cannot do I I think part of it's giving yourself grace too, right? Like I know that I could have better habits at night. Like I work on my phone in bed, which is not a good habit. I charge my phone next to my bed. You know, when I wake up in the morning, I start doing some work because it's just there's only so much time in the day because I also stay home with Max during the day. So it's like you just kind of have to give yourself grace. Like it's not perfect. I know that there's better habits out there. And just like right now in the season of life, I'm doing my best, which is like probably 60% of what would be best for me, but it's not forever.
Alona:I love that you are giving yourself grace and I love that you are kind of just owning, you know, these are my these are my choices. I'm not a victim of my circumstance, but I am making these choices and I'm comfortable in this time and place in my life with the choices that I'm making. Um, and I think that plays a lot into the positivity that you maintain around your your life, um, which is gold. I think that's so wonderful. How have your kids, you know, coming into the the 30-day challenge that we did together, you made some changes in um people know about this?
Matt:Do people know about the 30-day challenge or should we?
Alona:Oh, we can we can talk about that a little bit.
Matt:Maybe Vina can you wanna you wanna share just so they have a little context of the 30-day challenge that you've mentioned.
Veena:All right, so the 30-day challenge um was with Beyond Me. It's they sponsored us. So it was to basically be more plant-based, plant forward, or I guess ideally all plant forward, for 30 days following your protocol of a diet and just see what happens. So we had a very in-depth blood test. I mean, I don't know how many pages of different types of things were tested. Um, we tracked, you know, daily sleep, uh, your waistline, uh, heart rate variability. I'm trying to think, are, you know, like logging our food and um just a lot of different metrics. And then over 30 days kind of playing with different things that were working. So some of the things that I know we found out for me was that I have an issue with coconut. And so I really have to minimize that for my inflammation, you know, minimize gluten. Um and then I did a lot of the things that you talked about, which I thought were kind of crazy at the moment, where you're like, for a snack, you're gonna have potatoes. And I'm like, what? That is so counterintuitive to like everything in my life. I'm like, potatoes are the enemy, like not sweet potatoes, regular potatoes. And, you know, I think over the 30 days, I lost 14 pounds. I dropped two inches around my waist. Um, I went from my sleeping being at like a 2030 to like a 90 sleep score, which was like incredible. And I just felt really good. So that was the 30-day challenge. Um, kind of going back. Oh yeah. So I was at, I don't know what the exact measurement is, but it's like four. Four is not good. You want to be at one or below. And I've been, I think I told you, I've been dealing with that for over a year, where I was like, I'm so puffy and my joints hurt. They actually thought I had rheumatoid arthritis and all sorts of different things. And in your 30 days, the first blood test had it at four. 30 days later, the blood test had it at one. And I just had a bunch of blood work done. And so I've been staying steady at the same results that we kind of got to after the 30 days, which is like very optimal health.
Matt:Yeah. And and what was the I mean, it's amazing. It's amazing for you to experience that. And it's, you know, for us, it's like, hey, if you do this, if you do the program, you'll you'll get these results. And it, like you said, it's just hard to trust. Like it's so scary. Eating, who knew eating a potato was so scary for so many people, but it is.
Veena:Well, the potato cannot be fried and eaten with salt. I think that's what's actually scary. You're saying eat the potato, just sons like the really good stuff, you know. This is crazy. Uh, but I got used to it, and we found a really good barbecue sauce, thanks to you, that has like no sugar, and I pair it with mustard, and it's actually really good.
Alona:That's awesome. That's another thing, and maybe we get into that in our on on the uh next episode, but I want to talk about your creativity around nutrition and um and then and and for now though, I want to hear how had did you did that translate into your family dishes as well? And how was that received by the family?
Veena:Well, I think, you know, it's you gave us such easy tips, like right, like to start, which is like reduce the oil. I don't think I realized how much olive oil I was using because everything I read about, especially like a Mediterranean diet, is that olive oil is really good for you. It's a good fat. And I don't think I even realized how it was affecting my body. So when you were like essentially little to no oil, I'm like, okay, again, this is crazy. How am I gonna cook my food? Like, this is nuts. My food is gonna stick to the pan. It's not gonna taste good. And it's it's pretty interesting how you know, cooking in a different technique, or I got like a ninja crispy, like it just changes the game and everything tastes fine. And I think my body doesn't feel like it's in this catatonic state all the time because it's not having to digest all of this fat. And your thing that at least what I took away from it is olive oil is, you know, not it's you want to eat the whole olive, and that is going to have olive oil in it. So just have the whole item, have the whole avocado, you know, like things like that. And that's so easy for me to translate into what we're doing as a family because I'll just cook less with oil. I use significantly less salt, like there's hardly any salt, and I don't miss it. I have actually found that my taste buds have come alive again. You know, and I've switched into using different spices. Like, so for me, I love crushed red peppers. Like there's nothing wrong with that. I use a lot of that, or I use like cinnamon on my coffee. Like there's just so many different ways to flavor food that don't involve salt and fat and sugar.
Matt:And and that is your secret weapon, I think. And you were hinting at that is when we know people are gonna be successful, when we tell them to try these things, and the creativity starts flowing, versus there's people that will say, Oh, I can't have this. And they're all they focus on is what they what they're trying to eliminate. And we never tell you you can't have it. We'll say if you're gonna use oil, make it count and don't think it's a health food. So it's so I think it it but you got so creative that and you and that's the key to success.
Alona:Yeah. Absolutely. And I imagine not only for you, but for your family as well, um, is you know, how can I actually make this work? And and I think that's what I find uh surprising when I talk to people about around making um, you know, diet and lifestyle changes is they start telling me all the things that they can't have and all the things that are now gonna be limited for them. But when I think of the options, even you know, if you go 100% plant-based, but definitely if you don't go 100% plant-based, how many options you have in that world to create foods, um it's it's uh limitless really. And and but it does require that commitment and and one thing that I one one of many things that I admire about you is that energetic positivity around how am I gonna make this work? Um, and then finding it in a joyful way.
Veena:It's fun, you know, but I will say it's not without challenge sometimes, right? So I know if I'm going to a dinner or things like that, like a lot of times I'll pre-eat because I just feel so much better the next day. And so I also let people know ahead of time. Like generally, I eat plant-based or vegan. I don't do gluten or coconut. I do low salt, low oil. And they're like, what do you eat? I'm like, I know I should be like a twig. I'm not. Um, so I still eat a lot of food. But you know, that's one of the best things about like when I worked with you was well, I think that's the one thing, pre-eat and like also bring a lot of things with you. So I bring a lot of whole food snacks, like fruits and vegetables with me, that no oil hummus, like things that just make it easy. And then my kids end up eating it anyway. So everybody benefits from something like this. But um, I think one of the biggest things that you had mentioned, and now I'm forgetting what it was that you had mentioned, but a lot of things. So we'll just we'll just pass. I can't remember at the moment.
Matt:Did you what did did you remember watching? Did we share the sludging video where you saw the the blood flow slow down when when we were on the 30th channel? I don't maybe we didn't share that.
Veena:Oh, I but I missed the first orientation day. So it's possible that you shared it then.
Matt:It's just amazing what happened in your body so quick. It's basically a video, it shows like you know, what happens after you eat a real oily meal and high fat meal, and it shows the the to the like in the capillaries, the little single blood cells sludging and gets basically from a flow state to getting stuck. And that lasts for about six hours, and then it starts to come back online. But six hours later, what do we do? We have our next meal usually. So people, it it's you know, like you like you said, the fatigue and you just don't feel good. And that's what you know, so you're not doing it because someone told you that's the right way to eat. You're doing that because your body is telling you it feels good. And when you listen to your body, it's like, yeah, I'll just eat something before I go, and then when I'm there, I can nibble or I can bring something. But like that's what's gonna keep you doing the people that are successful long term are the ones where their body in there's internal motivation, not external you know, gratification or rules that they're trying to follow.
Veena:No, I agree with that. The only time it can be challenging is like travel. Like, I I know we talked about it a few times, but flying is really challenging. I mean, even we live in LA, and that's there's a lot more options out here for you know that, but it is a challenge to find food at the airport. Like I went to Atlanta for work and I'm on my way back. I'm like, I guess I'm just not eating anything and there's nothing to eat on the plane. And so it starts to be something that you have to like think about ahead of time. But the reward is that you wake up the next day and you feel good when you stay, you know, 80, 90% onto the protocol.
Matt:Exactly. And that's it, that's it. 80, 90% is enough, and it's such a big win for people versus the people that are like, if I can't be 100%, why should I even try? No. And yes, you do have to think more, get creative, plan a little bit, but the benefits are so, so vast.
Alona:Yeah. And then also, you know, have the grace and flexibility that at times it it's not going to work and we're gonna make, you know, less healthy choices and we're gonna, you know restart the next day um with our healthy intentions. And it's particularly it's it's hard enough for us, but then when we're also trying to do it with the family, um, that becomes you know even more challenging is how do you maintain that that path. Um, so I I love the message of having grace and some flexibility around it as well, so that you can indulge in sharing ice cream with your kids, you know, and and feel great about that experience.
Matt:Um and I think we that was one of the things we talked about in the 30-day challenge was you can pick, like sometimes you can make you know the nice cream using bananas and fruit and you or the the yonanas machine, and that's great. You know, and we talk about how to put different things into the ice cream to make it good. Other times, like, no, I want to eat the high the the high octane stuff, you know, and you you do that too. But you get to pick and sort of go down the continuum and checking in versus there's these rigid rules that if you do it, you're good, and if you don't do it, you're bad. I mean, so many people talk about, oh, I was bad last night, I ate this. And that that meant I understand where it's coming from, but I find that that's actually um leads leads, even if in the in the moment you stick to the program long term, that relationship with food is is can cause more problems than good.
Alona:Yeah, because I think when you start putting that kind of weight and judgment on it, it between the the good and the bad, then things become um taboo and then they become more desirable, and then it's using willpower, and then you know what um I I'm just relating to just kind of recalling one of the things that you shared, which I think is really cool, is you got to know your body and you got you know the foods that make it feel really good, and you know the foods that have it feeling less good, but you also trust your own resilience so that even if there are times where you're choosing to make a less healthy choice, you know that, yeah, I'm gonna enjoy it and it's gonna be okay. And tomorrow morning, I'm gonna get back on the wagon or you know, make other choices and I'm gonna feel good again.
Veena:Well, yeah. And I was gonna say, one of the biggest things that I took away from the program was that it's not about restricting calories because I feel like so many things restrict calories. Thus you like lose weight, right? Like that's just a simple like numbers game. But it's really about proportioning your plate correctly. And so like I always go back to that. So it's like, well, say for instance, yesterday, like I had like um, you know, quinoa millets, lentils, all of those things. Hi. Uh-huh. Um, I was like, there's children, there's children arriving here, um, taking salads. Um, but no, I mean, I had that, you know, with like sweet potatoes, all the vegetables, like all the different colors of the rainbow with tofu. But then I also was like, I also want some dark chocolate with like peanuts in it. And it's okay because I felt good about the fact that I portioned my plate correctly enough. And I was like, I'm gonna forgo the avocado and then I'm gonna have this tiny indulgence because then it's still balancing. So I think it's just, I mean, that's probably not the best case of balancing, but I was like, I always take into account like what you say, like calorie dense foods at like 900 to a thousand, and then having things that are less dense to get to your five to six hundred somewhere in the middle.
Alona:And I actually think that is balancing because your body was craving something and you didn't restrict or deny it. And then it doesn't carry that additional weight. You did not use willpower. And we know so many of us try and rely on this willpower that ultimately will run out, whether it runs out, you know, a day later or six months later or a year later. Nobody can hold on to that for life. And so you're teaching your body, it's okay, I don't have to be scared of food. I don't have to be scared of my cravings. I I know the choices that I need to make to end up where I want to be. And I think that's one of the biggest learnings.
Matt:Yeah, we like people to shift willpower from willpower to sticking on the program to shift it to willpower to checking into your body. Willpower to saying, hey, how am I gonna make this meal work for me, you know, in a way that feels sustainable? So it's that self-check-in versus willpower to sticking to some regimen that isn't actually working for you in this meal. I mean, people thought we were crazy when we said we don't want you counting calories.
Veena:I felt the same way. Yeah, I did. I was like, that's nuts.
Matt:That was nuts. There was a lot of things that people thought we were crazy, and we just had to keep saying, hey, trust us, you know, and we'll talk at the end of 30, you know, at the end of 30 days. But it's a little scary when you think about all that, right?
Veena:It is, but it's also extremely liberating. I think that was like one of my favorite takeaways. So it's like last night when I had that craving, I was like, okay, so I'll have no guilt doing this because I've already proportioned my plate to take that into consideration. And if I want seconds, I think this was the other thing that I took away. So even when I'm really hungry, you know, as a woman, there's times of our cycle that we're a little bit more hungry. I'm like, I just need to have seconds, but reportion the plate the way it's supposed to be. Because I think generally, like I would go towards the things that taste really good, but those are on like are you know, 900 to 1000 on the caloric density list. So it's the balance in the plate that like has been extremely liberating.
Alona:Yep. I love that. And and uh but getting people to trust and believe that is a process, is to say, actually, when you let go of all these things, there is this freedom and this liberation and this lightness around. I mean, you you figured it out now. You have the the key, you know, which is reconfiguring my plate in a way that works, in a way that doesn't deprive me, in a way that I don't restrict, and a way that I can sustain for the long run. So I love that. And um, on that note, I think we're gonna wrap up this episode, but we are going to bring Vina back. There is so much more to talk about. And Vina, it is so much fun to just chat with you. There's so many different things that you bring to the table that we can draw from. So I'm loving it.
Matt:Thank you, Vina. We're gonna be right back. Everybody who's listening, we appreciate it. Please take a moment to rate and review and subscribe to the podcast and uh send your questions, thoughts, feelings, anything. We love hearing from you at parents at weebetogether.com. And again, thank you for listening.