Alcohol Recovery, Emotional Healing, and Life After Sobriety | Cat Greenleaf

What happens emotionally, psychologically, and physically when someone stops drinking? For many people, alcohol becomes tied to stress relief, social confidence, emotional avoidance, and even identity itself. In a culture where drinking is deeply normalized, it can be difficult to recognize when alcohol is no longer helping and is instead quietly affecting mental health, relationships, sleep, emotional regulation, and self-trust.

In this episode, Dr. Supatra Tovar sits down with Cat Greenleaf, former television host and creator of the Soberness Podcast, for a deeper conversation about sobriety, emotional healing, recovery, and life after alcohol. Together, they explore the emotional realities of addiction, shame, social anxiety, nervous system dysregulation, and what it really takes to rebuild your life in a healthier and more authentic way.

Cat shares powerful insights from her own recovery journey, including how alcohol became intertwined with identity, emotional coping, and social connection. The conversation also explores the biology of addiction, alcoholism as a mental health condition, self-forgiveness, and how releasing shame can create space for deeper healing and self-awareness. Dr. Tovar also shares practical nervous system regulation tools that can help people navigate anxiety, emotional overwhelm, and social situations without relying on alcohol.

You’ll also hear honest perspectives on sobriety culture, “dry drunk” stigma, social pressure around drinking, the physical benefits of quitting alcohol, sleep, emotional clarity, and replacing unhealthy rituals with healthier forms of comfort and connection. If you’ve ever questioned your relationship with alcohol, struggled with emotional coping patterns, or wondered what life might feel like on the other side of drinking, this conversation offers compassion, honesty, humor, and hope.

Subscribe for more conversations on psychology, mental health, emotional wellness, recovery, nutrition, and building a healthier relationship with yourself.

Timestamps:
 00:00 Welcome back and introduction
 01:00 Cat Greenleaf on storytelling and recovery
 02:15 Tim Daly and vulnerability in sobriety
 03:20 Dr. Drew on alcoholism as a disease
 05:00 Shame, guilt, and emotional healing
 06:30 Alcoholism, genetics, and mental health
 07:30 Social pressure and drinking culture
 08:45 Social anxiety and alcohol use
 10:20 Nervous system regulation tools
 11:15 Butterfly tapping and vagus nerve calming
 13:30 Fear of losing identity without alcohol
 14:40 Emotional freedom after sobriety
 16:00 Why Cat rejects the term “dry drunk”
 17:20 Judgment, compassion, and recovery
 18:10 Physical benefits of quitting alcohol
 19:20 Movement, hydration, and energy
 20:15 Sleep, alcohol, and recovery
 21:10 Replacing alcohol rituals with healthier habits
 22:20 SodaStream, bitters, and sober alternatives
 24:15 Tips for social situations without drinking
 25:15 What life feels like after alcohol
 26:20 “I just don’t drink” and removing shame
 27:15 Where to find Cat Greenleaf and Soberness

Episode Summary

Sobriety is often framed as simply quitting alcohol, but recovery is much deeper than removing a substance. In this conversation, Cat Greenleaf shares how emotional healing, self-awareness, nervous system regulation, and identity transformation all become part of the recovery journey.

🧠 What This Episode Covers

Why alcoholism is more than a lack of willpower
 Alcoholism as a mental health condition
 Shame, guilt, and emotional avoidance
 Social anxiety and nervous system dysregulation
 Why people use alcohol to cope
 Identity shifts after sobr

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to the A New Insight Podcast, empowering and inspiring your journey to optimal health. Hosted by Dr. Supatra Kavar, clinical psychologist, registered dietitian, fitness expert, and author of Deprogram Diet Culture. Rethink your relationship with food, feel your mind, and live a diet-free life. I follow my guests' journey to optimal health, providing you with the keys to unlock your own wellness path. Tune in and evolve with us. Welcome back, everyone. We're back for the second half of this incredible interview with Silver Lifestyle Advocate, podcast host and recovery storyteller Kat Greenleaf. Kat gave us some really thought-provoking insight into her sobriety journey, what it means to forgive, and how we can be more self-compassionate. Kat, I can't wait to learn more.

unknown 0:58

Welcome.

SPEAKER_01 0:59

All right, let's do it.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

So let's talk about soberness. I love this podcast, and you have gotten some really amazing uh guests on there, many of them pretty high-profile celebrities. Can you tell me some of your most memorable guests and what stories or insights impacted you most from your guests?

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Yes, ma'am. So there are about three that rise to the top. I mean, first of all, everyone. All of them. I can't believe that people are so giving to come on and tell their stories. Um, but the first one that comes to mind was actually my first guest, which was the actor Tim Daly. Tim, uh, I had had him on my old show once or twice. So I knew him a little bit. And I didn't know his sobriety story. And when he sat down in that chair and just told it, you know, and talked about trauma and talked about his family and talked about getting sober. I I mean, I just couldn't get over the honesty. And to me, that's a real act of kindness. You know, um, this stuff is not easy, and there's, as we've discussed, at least for me, it was shameful. And and and, you know, the generosity of spirit of sharing stories about addiction. Uh I was blown down. And I, you know, almost never spoke about my own uh substance abuse issues. Yeah, I even going into the show, I was planning on asking the questions, never answering them. In AA meetings, I never really talk. Um, I just couldn't put voice to it. Like I was so overwhelmed by my own sadness and guilt and shame over my own drinking, and he just was very plain about it and very brave and honest. So that set the tone for me and allowed me to open up, which of course then deepened my own healing and and gave a lot more depth and dimension to my recovery. So Tim Daly, A. Then B, shortly thereafter, I had Dr. Drew on, and he also had been on my old show a couple times, and and uh I was still pretty stuck in the guilt and shame cycle when he said, Listen, Kat, let me let me recontextualize this for you. He said, Do you agree that a brain is an organ? Yes, or a muscle or whatever it is. And he said, Do you agree that a body part can be sick? Yes, of course. Well, then why is it that you think your brain can't be a little sick and broken? And it's not you and your morals and your heart and your judgment. It's you have this broken chemistry, and that's what leads you to be a problem thinker. And you know, that changed things for me. I'm like, well, if my physical makeup adds to the this disease, is you know, it is a disease. That's what it was. Sorry, I missed actually the punchline of this whole thing, which is I wasn't sure if it's a disease or like a moral failing. And he was saying it's a disease, and it's a disease which is physical, and basically you have the deck stacked against you biologically. Well, that put things in perspective and made me feel a lot better knowing that it wasn't just that I failed every time I picked up a drink. Yeah, I mean, I did, except that I didn't have the muscle that maybe some folks have to stop and to say no and to say, oh, this leads me down a bad path. Let me not do that. I I didn't have the strength of muscles like some people do because of my makeup. And that alleviated a lot for me. Um, and allowed me, you know, again, with every sort of heavy brick of shame, doubt, guilt, fear that gets lifted, you can get that much deeper into your real self in your real healing. And that's what it did for me. So, Dr. Drew. And third is Daryl, uh, DMC from Run DMC and Daryl McDaniel. He um, oh God, that guy and I have a lot in common. And well, you can tell we look a lot alike, obviously. But besides that, uh, he talks a lot about Shaman Gilt and how what a waste of time, and that you really can't, you know, similar to Dr. Drew, he said, look, you have depression, you have a broken leg, you have a sinus infection, you have alcoholism. Like it's, you know, it's it's a category of disease, it's a disability, it's it's something that you didn't ask to have, it's uh nothing to be ashamed of, just like you wouldn't be ashamed if you broke your leg. Now, it does get complicated in that, and I find them actually the the saddest and yet the most empowering thing about alcoholism is it's a disease that we did not ask to have. But the cure is something only we can execute. You know, I didn't want to have alcoholism, but I'm not gonna be cured of alcoholism unless I take the steps to stop drinking. So, in a way, I think it'd be easy to be like, well, can't stop anyway, so might as well just keep drinking. That sounds relaxing. But in fact, I do have the power to stop, and so I can vanquish this disease. Um, and Daryl really made me look at it in terms of it is a condition, and lots of people have lots of different conditions, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. And that once again lifted a cinder block of guilt off of my heart and allowed me then to get to work on the root causes and how I was gonna stay sober.

SPEAKER_00 6:40

I really love to hear that. And I think, you know, I did hear you questioning on your podcast is this a disease? Is this not a disease? Well, it is classified as a diagnosable mental health disorder, and that's very important and very powerful, I think, for a lot of people. You know, if we could go back to the the Ozempic obesity uh talk too, I think a lot of people uh found a lot of relief once obesity was classified as a disease, because then when you can look at it even just medically, then you can design your path toward healing, just like if you were to have diabetes. It is reversible if you take certain steps uh to try to make it better. You can also just completely do the same thing that you've always been doing and make it completely worse. Same thing with alcohol, and there is also genetic components to it and lifestyle and stress factors that can make that uh that an actual disease for you where you can't stop. And you're right, the one cure is within your hands, which is not to drink anymore, which is very hard for a lot of people. And let's talk about that because we have social pressure. We've talked about drinking as being just ingrained in our culture. So you're going to weddings, you're going to uh events, and alcohol is everywhere. And I'm gonna admit that I'm a part of a social club, and alcohol is everywhere, and I am very mindful. That's the end of the club. It's it's a networking club, it's so fun. I love it. Yeah, I love it. It's how I it's how my people because I'm I'm in by myself with my dogs. I mean, I I do have coworkers there, my dogs. Um but I gotta get out, I gotta like people because otherwise I understand. Um, but there's so many events, so much drinking involved, and I'm trying to be very mindful about you know when and how much and all of that stuff. How do you navigate that without drinking at all?

SPEAKER_01 8:58

Well, I'll tell you, I don't love social uh occasions anymore. Um, it's not as fun for me, and um, I'm shy, and I uh will often go someplace, not talk to anyone, then leave. Um, and now I just don't go. So, but that's extreme. I and the truth is I've always been more of a homebody. Alcohol was the fuel that let me be out in the world and chatty, chatty, chatty, and all the things. Um, however, these days it's pretty cool to say you don't drink, you know. Um, lots of people don't drink. Now, I do want to point out that a lot of people don't drink in states where marijuana is legal. So lots of people need something. California, yes, right, and New York now too. You know, it's it's but uh like non-alk beverage sales are highest where pot is legal. And I go back to because everybody needs something. Not everybody needs something, but many people need a lubricant, right, to get through things. Okay, so on a personal note, I I don't go out as much anymore at all. But also when I do, I talk about it loud and proud because you come to find out people want to lean in and say, you know, I'm trying to give it up. Or my husband's an alcoholic, or I grew up looking at my dad drink, or whatever, you know, and then suddenly now there's connection. Now we're talking, and that's what gets me going. I love connection. So not saying I drink is as much of a connective tissue as drinking with somebody.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

Yes. Oh my goodness. And I would have to say that probably 99% of people struggle with some form of social anxiety. You mean I know as well.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

Hold on.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

You're special, you're a special and you're a part of this this crew of people that I think experience extreme nervous system dysregulation when we're out in public. And I will find myself at certain points where I'll get like hot and flushed and sweaty, and I'm like, oh my God, I'm like so self-aware. What's going on? And I think that that's that moment that a lot of people turn to alcohol. And if I can help some people and even maybe impart something on you if you go out into these social situations, it feels at those moments when we feel so self-aware and we feel like there's this like a crazy spotlight on us, and it's like just really dysregulating. My advice to people is first of all, if you can't escape that situation, just focus on your breathing. Let the other person talk, because other people love to talk, and just focus on your breathing. They'll never notice that you are focusing on your breathing. And the more you focus on your breathing, the more you're regulating your nervous system, especially if the exhale is longer than the inhale. All you have to focus on, or you could even do a little bilateral stimulation. This is called the butterfly hug. I love it. And you just cross your arms and then you just gently tap right and left, right and left with your hands, like a little butterfly. And this action turns on your vagus nerve to uh stimulate uh action of your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps you calm down. Those little things in those moments, and if you also realize and take the objective stance that pretty much, if I said 99% of people have social anxiety, the person across from you is probably anxious as well. That can help to like normalize some stuff. If you do also have the opportunity, you can always excuse yourself, go to the restroom, you know, shut yourself in the stall and just regulate yourself however you can and know that this anxiety is normal. We are in front of people, and sometimes it can be scary and it's okay. And then when you come back into the room, search for that friendly face, that one face that you know, like you can always feel safe with. Even if you're in a room where of people you don't know, there's gonna be that face. You're gonna find even if you don't know them, there's gonna be that face of that person who's going to welcome you and make you feel comfortable. So I do hope that that helps. Yeah. At least, you know, but I I'm also all about staying home and being in my underwear with my dogs. So I get it. I get it. And my husband, he will contest to that. He will most often skip the social functions so he can be in his underwear with my dogs, absolutely for sure. So um, for someone who might be sober curious, but afraid of what that might do to their identity or their social life or their edge, what do you want them to know?

SPEAKER_01 14:10

Such a good question. First, I would say if somebody does decide to stop drinking, you're just trying it out. It's okay to mourn that and and to give it its due. It's you you miss it, it's okay to to miss it. You can be in mourning for a little while. It's okay, you know, it doesn't have to be like, whoa, I gave it up and now I feel amazing. Like, maybe you don't, maybe it sucks, maybe you miss it, and that's okay. And I think it's important to respect um all the different things. But then what I came to find is that I thought I was the life of the party and I was so much fun when I was drinking, but I don't think I was. I don't actually think that my idea of who I was is accurate. And I think people will come to find out uh almost wholesale that in fact they're much more fun and they're much more appealing to be around, and they're much uh their identity is becomes actually who they are. And to a person, who you actually are is way better sober than drunk. It just is, you know. Um, listen, I sit in recovery meetings twice a day. Uh, I have them on the background as I get ready in the morning, as I make dinner at night, and pretty much every person says it's a better life. And it is a better life, even if it's a bumpy road to get from being in active usage to being not in active usage. Once you get there, the relief, the freedom, man, the freedom that you have is so huge. I I can't tell you how much time alcohol took up. I can't tell you how much uh how how many holes I feel like it pierced through my soul. You know, it made everything harder, even though I needed it, I thought, to make things easier. It didn't make things easier. Because even though it's a disease, it's important to point out that it's a disease that has social implications. Cancer probably doesn't make you say horrible things to people. Cancer doesn't make you hit on someone else's husband. Cancer doesn't make you forget your children, you know? And these are things that alcohol does. And nobody deserves that. Just because you're an alcoholic doesn't mean you deserve this bad life that you create for yourself, you know. So it's a really vicious, ugly thing that there is, again, only one remedy, which is to stop drinking. And while I'm on it, sorry, I'm around a real roll here, but I I have to know. I can't stand the term dry drunk. I don't it it's uh the term dry drunk means you're you're not drinking anymore, but you're not doing the work. You know how hard it is to quit alcohol? It is so hard. It is so hard that if that's all you can do, congratulations. You've still done so much. You know, why is it that? Because I'm an alcoholic, I now have to like do the work, whereas you, who's not one, just gets to skate through life being a total dick or whatever your thing is. Do you know what I mean? It's not fair. And I congratulate anybody who puts down the thing that was putting them down. And so I don't like the term dry drunk um while I'm at it. I don't like the term California sober because uh it looks down on marijuana. When again, what if you're like me and it wasn't your problem? So why shouldn't you be able to indulge? Or, you know, um, you know, I've had a lot of people on the show say, Well, you can say you're sober, but you're really not. And I just don't agree with that at all.

unknown 17:52

Not at all.

SPEAKER_00 17:53

Yeah, I I would say if we could just all put away our judgments, uh you know, better. It's it we have no idea what another person's going through. So it does not help us at all. And I think when we do judge, it actually hurts us. So it I agree with you. If somebody is on that journey, let them be on that journey and celebrate them for wherever they are on that journey. Agreed, and and I love that that that all that opened up for you was spiritual and psychological, but there's also a lot that opens up for you physically when you quit. Give us a picture. There's like so many benefits physically that happen. Well, first of all, what you discovered.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

My skin. I mean, my skin, your skin does become more glowy when you're not drinking. It just does, you know, alcohol is a toxin, right? So it it dulls everything. So my eyes cleared up, got sparklier, my skin cleared up. Um, you lose weight, which listen, we're in weight-obsessed America and probably all over the world. So to lose some pounds from this is an added benefit. So all of those things. Um feeling hydrated, you know, you feel dehydrated all the time as an alcoholic. I mean, I was always dehydrated. And to not feel like I'm thirsty, thirsty. You know, it's interesting the parallel, right? Like, you know, you're thirsty to feel better, so you drink alcohol, but then you're like thirsty. You're actually physically thirsty, you know.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

Yeah, it's dehydrating.

SPEAKER_01 19:27

Right. And so to feel hydrated and then hydrated in your life, you know, it's it goes together. Um, so that's what helped me physically. Also, you can't really work out, or at least I couldn't in a real, real way, um, while I was drinking, while you're drinking alcohol, because the hangover is it gets in the way, right? So to be able to work out, not that I love working out, because let's be honest, I don't, I don't know. Forgive me if you're this kind of person, but I'm not sure I I can like totally relate to people who love to work out. To me, working out's like a thing you have to do, not that you want to do, but that's just I don't like calling it working out.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

I like calling it movement.

SPEAKER_01 20:06

Movement, yes, exactly. Movement is good.

SPEAKER_00 20:09

So like moving, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:10

I like moving too, and I like moving in service of being able to continue moving as I get older, right? So moving is good. Um, but but to be able to do that, you know, like if I want to get up with the dogs and walk them, I can now, as opposed to having to drink a pot of coffee, eat some greasy crap, and you know, do all that before I put my sneakers on and get out the door. So it just again, the freedom physically, the freedom is uh it's real. And by the way, you know how much money you save when you're not drinking? It costs so much to buy alcohol and so to buy seltzer. So uh my my finance is um eased up as well.

SPEAKER_00 20:51

Oh, I love that. I I think too, you know, I notice it really affects my sleep. A lot of people say, Oh, it helps me go to sleep. No, no, no. I'll wake up at three in the morning without fail if I've had more than like a couple glasses of wine or something like that. And I just think, no, I really don't want that. I I am all about sleep maxing at this point because hearing the term sleep maxing. Yeah, yeah. It's just you gotta maximize it. And that's like my priority. I'm like, you know, nine o'clock. Let's start to get ready. I'm I'm out. I don't it's so funny. And it's made a huge difference in in my health.

SPEAKER_01 21:29

Really? Okay. Good to hear because my husband and I are going through this weird thing now that at like the you know, mid-eights, like 8:30, 845. I'm like, you know, if we start getting ready now, by the time it's 8 59, we can slide right in. Because nine o'clock feels respectable to me. You know, I mean, I still have my kids running around here, like I can't get into bed too early, but I do feel like nine o'clock is respectable sleep time.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

Yes, yes, absolutely. Now you brought up seltzer, and that's so interesting because uh that's been one way that I

SPEAKER_01 22:00

have tried to cut down on drinking like at home I don't drink anymore I just make I have a soda stream yes and I love my soda stream and I drink I drink seltzer water all night and it's like my little refreshment after work and to me that has like made a huge difference in my health and my skin and weight the whole deal right um I heard on your podcast somebody talking about it as like so it had something to do with being a zebra or what was it what was the term like zebra switching or something like that where you switch yeah you're ringing a bell for me but I've I'm old so I don't remember it had zebra in it and somebody if you're listening please just yeah oh my god I gotta look at our comments that's really putting switch an alcoholic drink with like a seltzer as a way to practically cut down on uh drinking that's really smart do you have yeah do you have any other tips for people who are wanting to cut down on their drinking but maybe not stop yes so um here's what I do uh I my nightly drink with my soda stream is I do seltzer over ice with bitters so I happen to like there's a brand called Phi F-E-E Phi Brothers uh they make an orange bitters the reason why I'm recommending this is because it tastes like booze I know there's there's alcohol and bitters but listen I was a case of wine a night type of drinker so the the mouthwash level alcohol that's in the bitters does is not exciting for me and so uh so I do Fee Brothers bitters in the seltzer with ice and then I I do a dropper full of it's called bark and bitter and this is it it it has kicked up my seltzer game so much and in fact oh true story once again this morning from the subway I sent bark and bitters a fan letter because it was like thank you so much for coming up with this I don't know what's in it but I put in one drop and it just like deepens the flavor a little bit because I really like the flavor of alcohol you know I like the whole I like the ritual I like pouring the drink hearing the ice you know and so this okay so ice seltzer fee brothers bark and bitter it's a it's a and it's inexpensive and you feel like you're still playing with the big kids you know and um I'm really a fan and honestly I look forward to it all day the same way I looked forward to alcohol but after one of those little cocktails I'm not yelling at people I'm not starting to fight with my husband I'm not puking so uh it's a plus for me so that so that's you know have the thing to look forward to that's my biggest piece of advice if that's a sweet at the end of the day if it's you know life is hard we we need something and I think having something to look forward to and pin your hopes of the day on is very important. Yes some little treat that is not alcohol what about when people are out would you recommend anything other than kind of swapping a seltzer alcohol drink what what would what helps you when you're out yeah I mean food uh if you're not afraid of eating right so so if I know I'm I'm like so for example tonight we're going out to dinner um I might have had a lot more to eat during the day-to-day but I want to make sure that when other people are ordering cocktails tonight I can have mozzarella sticks because a little bit of pre-planning you know um because in fact uh if you can have mozzarella sticks and like a diet coke what what's like worse for you but more fun than that to me oh no as long as it makes you happy I love this um so we're almost out of time and I know you have to get out of here I wish I could talk to you all day because I adore you if you could speak directly to one person listening who secretly wonders what their life would be like without alcohol what would you tell them life is like on the other side so much the better you will gain the respect of your friends colleagues and family members here's how I it sounds terrible but when I'm feeling like I really want to drink and I'm I know I'm going out like you said to a wedding or thing I think about how superior I am that's right that's it I don't drink and I'm smug about it and there you are drinking and making a fool of yourself and I get to sit here and think about how superior I am so you know it really helps that's what your life is like you're gonna walk around and feel superior because you are well and I would say more so than that you're just strong and it takes a lot of strength to be able to stop something and I think that that is so respectable and that is I think what people can carry with them. If they do have the strength to say this is a problem for me I don't want to do this anymore and they carry through that I think you can walk with your head held high absolutely oh and I just want to point out you don't even have to admit that it's a problem for you. I just don't drink you know there you go anybody an explanation you don't know yes you don't owe it you don't have to make up a story I just don't drink yes yes and I think thank goodness we are living in a culture right now that celebrates that and I absolutely celebrate you cat tell people how that they can find you tell tell them about your podcast and all the all the 411 all right so soberness.com s o b e r n e s s dot com um I our socials are at soberness podcast and uh at cat greenleaf c A T G R E N L E A F.

SPEAKER_00 27:59

That's it. Uh cat thank you so much for joining me it is truly an honor. I swear I do have podcast hosts crush on you. I think you're amazing and I absolutely respect your journey and I I I celebrate it and celebrate all the people who are brave enough to come on and you know be vulnerable. I think vulnerable is the highest sign of bravery that there is so I encourage everyone to be vulnerable in front of people. That's what makes you strong. Thank you so much Kat you thank you take care yes and thank you everyone for joining the A New Insight podcast I will see you next time. Thanks for tuning in to the A New Insight podcast. Please remember the content shared on this podcast is for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. You can find us anywhere podcasts are streaming on YouTube at my dotanew.insight and at anewinsight.com under the anew insight podcast tab and follow us on our socials at my dotanu.insight on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and threads for more updates. Tune in next time and evolve with us