MYH 36: When Sorry Isn't Enough: Exploring Consequences in Family Relationships

What happens when complex family dynamics collide with strong personalities? Emily and Trina tackle this question head-on through the lens of Reddit's popular "Am I The Asshole" forum. Their candid conversation explores moral gray areas where there are no perfect answers—only messy, human situations that require thoughtful consideration.

The duo dissects a Mother's Day celebration drama where a newly-married stepmom expects recognition despite the child not even knowing about the marriage. This sparks a deeper discussion about what truly makes someone a parent beyond legal titles. Is it fair to expect immediate recognition, or does parenting status develop through consistent presence and care? Emily and Trina offer nuanced perspectives that challenge listeners to reconsider their assumptions about blended families.

When examining a case involving a hurtful 13-year-old niece, they push back against the common excuse that "kids will be kids." Instead, they make a compelling argument for natural consequences as powerful teaching moments. Their distinction between normal teenage rudeness and actual bullying highlights how these terms have become diluted in everyday language.

The hosts' chemistry shines throughout as they navigate grammatically challenging submissions with humor and patience. Their analysis of teenage friendship dynamics—particularly around the pressure to appear romantically successful—demonstrates remarkable empathy while maintaining healthy boundaries.

What makes this episode particularly valuable is how Emily and Trina consistently look beyond surface-level judgments to examine the underlying emotional needs driving these conflicts. Their practical wisdom offers listeners tools for navigating their own complex relationships with more awareness and compassion.

Ready to sharpen your moral compass while enjoying genuine conversation between friends? Subscribe now and join the conversation about where to draw lines in relationships—and how to do it with both kindness and self-respect.

Transcript

Podcast Introduction

Speaker 1 0:02

Hey, welcome to Mind your Heart Podcast, your favorite corner of the internet where we chat about all things mental health.

Speaker 2 0:09

I'm Emily and I'm Trina. Together, we're like your real-life Lorelai and Rory Gilmore. Each week, we'll bring you real conversations about the world of mental health and we will peel back layers on topics like anxiety, depression and much more.

Speaker 1 0:24

We're here to chat with you about the tough stuff, the everyday stuff and everything in between. So grab your emotional support water bottle I know we have ours. Find your comfiest chair or keep your eyes on the road and let's get into it. Are you ready, mom?

Speaker 2 0:39

Absolutely. Join us as we mind our hearts and hopefully make minding yours a little easier.

Speaker 1 0:46

Welcome back. Welcome back to another episode of Am I the Asshole?

Speaker 2 0:54

I love these. I don't know why. I think they're fun.

Speaker 1 0:57

Well, because they're interesting.

Speaker 2 0:59

Yeah, and I was laughing so hard listening to the last one that we did. It just was funny.

Speaker 1 1:06

Yeah, about the man who threw up on his couch and his wife to clean it up because he was an idiot.

Speaker 2 1:12

I'm like he was like literally gagging on his couch and not grabbing the bucket and then, like I'm going to bed, you can clean it up that's such a man thing to do.

Speaker 1 1:21

I, I know Like that felt, so like man, I don't know. It felt like a toddler thing to do, yeah All right so. Do you want to go first or do you want me to go first?

Speaker 2 1:35

Yeah, I'll go first, okay.

Speaker 1 1:36

Okay.

Speaker 2 1:37

So am I. This is how it works we read the little question, we make a decision Not based on any information yet, just the question, and then we read the information and we make a revision on the decision. Okay, am I the asshole?

Speaker 1 2:03

for not acknowledging my sister-in-law as a mom on Mother's Day.

Speaker 2 2:06

I feel like this depends, like is she a mom, but also like not your job to celebrate her maybe like saying happy mother's day would be nice, but like yeah, I don't know if it's like you have to, I wouldn't say you're the asshole. No.

Speaker 1 2:24

But I like also. Like I'm like, are you hanging out with your sister-in-law with other people and then just like blatantly ignoring her, Like then you would be kind of an asshole, but like overall, this question With the context we have which is none.

Speaker 2 2:39

I would say no. Yeah, me too, because I was thinking about my two sister-in-laws or, um, yeah, and I was like I. It's kind of like a hit or miss if I've said happy mother's day to I feel like, unless it's your mom or your grandma yeah, like then like, yeah, exactly. It's just not really. Sometimes I do say happy mother's day to some of my friends.

Speaker 1 3:05

I do too. I definitely do too, but I also know that they don't expect that. Yeah, they don't expect it and I don't do it every single year.

Speaker 2 3:13

Sometimes I just get busy and I don't do it. But I have on occasion said that to Amelia. But I have never said that to Tammy and not that I've just ignored that she would.

Speaker 1 3:26

You don't really have that kind of relationship Like where you would just like randomly say that yeah, we don't text each other.

Speaker 2 3:31

We've never texted each other, yeah, so, yeah, I think it depends. All right, let's listen to the context. Okay, so, my, I didn't know what SIL meant for the longest time. By the way, um, melanie would say that, and I'm like what you would abbreviate it in, like speech, oh, no, no, I'm sorry, she would text it oh, I was like she's on the phone saying sil, yeah, that's more work than saying sister-in-law, yeah no, okay.

Speaker 2 4:00

So my, I'm just gonna say it my sister-in-law, who's a 22 year old female that female that's young recently married Okay, let me see, Recently married the father of my real I don't know why she's saying real of my real older sisters.

Speaker 1 4:14

Well, because this is her sister-in-law.

Speaker 2 4:18

This isn't her biological sister. I know, but my sister-in-law recently married the father, the father of my real older sister.

Speaker 1 4:28

Yeah, so her actual older sister Her biological sister.

Speaker 2 4:33

Yeah, I understand, but why do you have to say real? Can't you just say sister? You already said sister-in-law, so just say sister. And what's the father of her sister? Wouldn't that be her father?

Speaker 1 4:49

a sister and what's the father of her sister? Wouldn't that be her father? Maybe, I'm guessing there's probably multiple dads.

Speaker 2 4:52

Okay, so we'll say and then she also plural, makes sisters plural your real older sister's daughter. Oh yeah, okay, so my real that's so many like steps. Yeah. So my sister-in-law recently married the father of my real older sister's daughter, my real so of my older sister's daughter.

Speaker 1 5:13

What? Let's just. We don't need to know that.

Speaker 2 5:15

Whatever?

Speaker 1 5:16

She married a guy.

Speaker 2 5:18

My sweet niece. So her sister-in-law married the father of her niece. So her sister-in-law married the father of her niece. My sweet niece A, who is only eight but has been raised around my sister-in-law as her aunt. Okay, my relationship with her brother oh my gosh, these are so many relatives, 24 is not new With her brother we have been together, okay, so she's married to the brother of the sister-in-law, so it's, it's my relationship with her brother, with the sister-in-law's brother, is not new, so her relationship that she's in, that this writer is in, is not new.

Speaker 2 6:00

We have been together for 11 years, so my sister-in-law has has had my family as part of hers for a long time. Okay, recently, sister-in-law got married to A's father. This is the niece 28. 28. After a long or day-long engagement A day-long engagement, okay, the family was blindsided. I asked You're not supposed to be reading at the same time. You're supposed to be taking in the information.

Speaker 1 6:25

I can't comprehend it if I'm not looking at it at the same time.

Speaker 2 6:28

I asked my sister-in-law if they realized how confusing this was going to be for A now that her aunt is her stepmom. My sister-in-law told me I was being dramatic and to move on. When Mother's Day came along, I planned a big dinner for my mom, my mother-in-law and sister. We had a cake ordered with their names on it that read Happy Mother's Day to the three momketeers. Everyone came on time and the party was in full swing when my sister-in-law pulled me aside and asked why she wasn't included in the celebration with the other moms I'm confused.

Speaker 1 7:06

Wasn't she? She was included.

Speaker 2 7:10

Oh, no, no, no, she's not part of the three mom coutures, so it was just her mom, mother-in-law, and then this person's sister sister, okay, but this also.

AITA: Mother's Day Sister-in-Law Drama

Speaker 2 7:18

This person is, like newly, a stepmom, but previously known as an aunt to her now stepdaughter okay, I admit I stared her in the face and asked why on earth I would do that when she wasn't a mom. Oh, that's a little shitty. Sister-in-law called me an asshole and said nothing to me the rest of the night. When I got home, I had about 20 messages from a's dad telling me that she is A's mom as well. I told him. Neither he nor my sister-in-law were in the room when A was born and he had no right to tell me who my niece's mom is. Maybe I am being the asshole, but I don't feel like I should have to include her in the celebration when she just married this guy and A only knows her as her aunt. Also, I do believe stepmoms are real moms. I'm just finding it hard to view her that way. Now everyone is saying I should apologize and include her in any other mother-related celebrations. So, reddit, am I the asshole?

Speaker 1 8:22

uh, a little bit. Yeah, I think the way that she dealt with it was definitely like bitchy, yeah, but I also, like, like I understand the logic, like like, of not including her on this cake. Yeah, like I don't necessarily know that like it was needed, that she needed to be on the cake no yeah but also like she could, she, she didn't have to say like you're not, I mean also and she left her out like.

Speaker 2 8:50

And then she says eta, which what? I had no indication beforehand that the sister-in-law would even want to be celebrated.

Speaker 1 8:57

Well, who doesn't want to be celebrated?

Speaker 2 8:58

no, kidding, and do you have to be told that someone wants to be celebrated? A is unaware that the sister-in-law and her father are married. Oh what? Yeah, that's interesting. A's father also does not have custody, nor does he involve himself in her life other than holidays. Oh for gosh sakes. Yeah, this is a mess.

Speaker 1 9:19

Yeah I mean, I still think this person's being a bit of a bitch, but, but, like I also don't think that they're like the only one in the wrong here, like it's. I guess that's why there should have been indication if she wanted to be celebrated, because it's like if your stepchild doesn't know, they're your.

Speaker 2 9:39

Yeah, that stepchild, you're right, that's true.

Speaker 1 9:41

That is a good point, because Because then it's like like do you want me to spill the beans for you? Or like what do you, what do you want here? Yeah?

Speaker 2 9:48

and she's celebrating her own mother, her mother-in-law and her sister which makes sense just gonna jump and throw all mothers on the cake. You would be, yeah, outrageous. And somebody says you're not the asshole if they had been married for years already. Then you would be, because step parents often do become real parental figures over time. And if the father has been actively involved in shared custody, you would be the asshole again, because in that case both adults would be co-parenting. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, um. And then someone says how does the child feel? Um, then that's. Other people said no, not at all, and then not, yeah, so I think the only thing I wouldn't know.

Speaker 1 10:29

I stopped reading after the first sentence, I agree, because it was very confusing yeah, I definitely think, like the, the way that she like approached the sister-in-law was rude, but like I don't think that she's in the wrong for like the rest of the stuff. Yeah, especially with the context, like especially knowing that a doesn't even know that that's your stepmom, like you're not gonna be the one to tell her that it's not your place.

Speaker 2 10:59

Yeah, I agree, it's not, definitely not your place, and that's very, and also the dad doesn't spend time with her or have custody of her.

Speaker 1 11:06

Yeah, Like what the hell.

Speaker 2 11:08

So I don't actually think she was an asshole, I just think the whole thing is a big fat mess. Yeah, yeah, all right.

Speaker 1 11:16

Okay, am I the asshole for not bringing my niece shopping after she was extremely rude slash mean to me, even if she quotations apologized, wait, say that one more time. No, yeah, I don't think so either.

Speaker 2 11:43

If someone's rude and mean to you, even if they apologize. They were rude and mean to you, so I don't think you have to take them shopping. Yeah, I don't think so either. If someone's rude and mean to you, even if they apologize, they were rude and mean to you, so I don't think you have to take them shopping. Yeah, I mean if you have to feed them, but you don't have to take them shopping.

Unpacking the Complex Family Relations

Speaker 1 11:54

Well, this person, it's their niece. So, like you also, like you're not required to do anything with this child yeah, I agree.

Speaker 2 12:03

Okay.

Speaker 1 12:07

Well overall, anything with this? Yeah, I agree. So well overall. This at the top it says voted not the asshole. So oh, I didn't know that people look, it's sometimes it is sometimes it isn't like it depends on the like.

Speaker 1 12:14

this one's seven days old, so like I think the one that you read was an hour ago, oh so like it's not been voted yet. Okay, okay, oh, this, oh, this one's kind of long. I do not have kids and I also have not really had a lot of experience dealing with kids before my niece. I don't have younger siblings or cousins. I never babysat, etc. I'm explaining this because this is my blind spot and why I'm posting. Okay, well, it sounds like this person is at least like self-aware yeah.

Speaker 1 12:47

About a month ago, my niece Gabby that's in quotes, yeah, it's probably not her name and I were at the park together. I like to spend time with her and usually take her out to do things just the two of us every couple of weeks.

Speaker 2 13:00

How old is Gabby? It doesn't say, we don't know Okay.

Speaker 1 13:07

Oh of weeks. How old is gabby? It doesn't say we don't know. Okay, oh, 13. Okay, I read further she's 13.

Speaker 1 13:09

While we were at the park, I was talking about an event I'm going to attend with my boyfriend of a few years. She asked to see my dress, so I showed her a pic of me in it. She made a yucky face and said that's so ugly. You look really fat, isn't? And isn't my boyfriend gonna think it's bad? I was so hurt. She's only 13. I'm not even a big girl in any sense. I have fat on my body, but I am definitely not fat. My sister was surprised and she said she would talk to her.

Speaker 1 13:40

A few days later she had gabby come over to apologize. From my point of view, it was not sincere. She was rolling her eyes and looked angry and just got out the words. I told her thank you for apologizing and then told them to leave. I have not gone out of my way to spend time with her since I had told Gabby that I would take her shopping for the summer and we'd pick out fun stuff together. I look forward to doing things like this with her, not really anymore.

Speaker 1 14:06

When we were at my mom's house for Mother's Day. Gabby asked me when we would go After her stunt. I've changed my mind. I said that she probably has plenty of summer clothes to wear. She was upset and said but I said I was sorry over and over. I told her that I know she said she was sorry, but just because someone says they're sorry to you doesn't mean that your actions are forgiven, that you have to prove to the other person you won't do it again. And she hasn't.

Speaker 1 14:33

My mom and sister say I'm expecting adult behavior from a child and that it was ridiculous to cancel the shopping date. I'm apparently beefing with a child at my big age. They said she apologized and hasn't said anything else. Rude to me since they asked how long I'm going to hold it against her. I really don't know how to take this. I trust their judgment most of the time, but this was just an outright mean thing from her. I am worried that as she grows up this behavior will continue and she will turn out to be a bully. Am I the asshole?

Speaker 2 15:05

No, no, I don't think so either. And first of all, she hasn't said any okay their excuse for like expecting her to be she's 13. She should be acting like a respectable person and not say something mean and hurtful and think it's just no big deal. Yeah, she's not three years old. She didn't apologize on her own free will. She was made to apologize and she reluctantly apologized, and that doesn't really count for anything because she didn't really mean it and because she hasn't said anything like that again. Well, that's expected behavior.

Speaker 1 15:37

That's the bare minimum.

Speaker 2 15:39

Yeah, that is exactly the bare minimum and that is ridiculous. But I also think that this person should, instead of like having a forced I wouldn't have even been okay with someone forcing their teenager to apologize I would be like no, if they want to apologize and they want to talk to me about it, let's talk about it, but you're not, I'm not, we're not forcing them, nobody. A forced apology is never a real apology. That's so dumb. So I think that she should just go talk to her, ask her why she acted like that. Why did she say those kind of hurtful things?

Speaker 1 16:17

yeah and um and and I also don't think she owes this 13 year old anything?

Speaker 2 16:22

no, she definitely does not owe her anything, and I think that's a natural consequence. I'm sorry, I don't want to spend time with you. When you have said mean things to me and when you act like that, you actually that was really hurtful.

Speaker 1 16:34

Yeah, no kidding. Yeah, I agree. I think like I don't know and to me I'm like the mom of Gabby and the grandma of Gabby so this person's mom are excusing this behavior and making that be acceptable way to treat people, and whether you're not expecting adult behavior.

Speaker 2 17:00

You're expecting human decency from a 13-year-old. You're teaching her a lesson.

Speaker 1 17:02

You're teaching her behavior that's acceptable and what's not yeah and I think like yeah, when you're 13, you say stupid shit and you make mistakes and whatever, but like you still have to learn from it. You don't just get excused from consequences because you're 13. Yeah, like that's not how it works.

Speaker 2 17:19

Like and you work to develop the relationship, not as part of like going shopping, yeah, like, yeah, and it sounds like this.

Speaker 1 17:27

She's not even upset about not spending time with her, she just wants to go shopping, yeah, which is worse.

Speaker 2 17:34

So she's an entitled brat so I don't, yeah, I don't think she's an asshole, I think she, I think, I definitely think she should have a conversation with the teenager if she wants a relationship with her, and if she doesn't, she doesn't have to have one. Yeah, so that's the other part. Well, okay, yeah, I mean to say something so like blatantly, like I don't know, I mean, if you don't like the dress, that's fine, but you have to call her fat and tell her she looks fat in it. Yeah, like I just I don't know, I just don't think that's necessary yeah, um, yeah, everybody's saying like that, not the asshole.

Speaker 1 18:13

I think 13 is old enough to understand right from wrong and will be good life lesson for her, your niece.

Speaker 2 18:19

She can learn that her words have and actions have consequences I think I think a seven-year-old would understand that that's not right yeah.

Speaker 1 18:28

She doesn't regret what she said. She just regrets that it ruined her shopping spree. Somebody said exactly I said I was sorry. Is what every bully says when they get called out.

Speaker 2 18:39

I don't know if I would assume she's a bully, like that's a little bit of an extreme. She's not a bully. She's not. People get bullying confused with not being nice. You can be a jerk and not be nice doesn't mean you're a bully. There's like a specific example of what bullying means. Everybody uses a jerk or not nice as a bully. That's not the same thing.

Speaker 1 19:00

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 19:02

So Sorry, same thing. Yeah, yeah, so sorry. I feel very, um, as a student, former student support specialist, where every parent thought every child that was acting like a jerk was a bully. It was like we've overused the word.

Speaker 1 19:14

It's like over the word gaslighting, we've overused the word bullying this word said mean girls suck and they'll see consequences of being a stinker if they keep it up. Yeah, I agree, yeah, yeah, so not the asshole, yeah.

Speaker 2 19:29

Okay, let's do one more each, okay, okay. So am I the asshole for telling my grandma I was doing her a favor?

Speaker 1 19:38

Yeah uh, it sounds like it, because you probably shouldn't. I don't know, like I don't know when, what way you could say that nicely, yeah I was doing you a favor.

Speaker 2 19:53

Yeah, yeah or rude, I was doing you a favor, grandma I mean, I don't know so that still sounds manipulative to me, but how would you?

Speaker 2 20:04

yeah, okay, hello, that's how that's how it starts. Hi, a little bit of context. My immediate family is out of the country. I am now. I am now and my parents I am now and my parents pay money to my grandma for having me. I wonder, wonder, how old this person is. Yeah, so my grandma and obviously me is moving out as she is getting a divorce. Oh, she does not use the freeway and I am currently on vacation. So I told her I was going to multiple rides to drop things off so she does not have to pay what? She does not use the freeway and I am currently on vacation, so I told her I was going to do multiple rides to drop things off so she does not have to pay. Okay, so maybe she has to do multiple trips, but because the grandma is avoiding the freeway, I don't know.

Speaker 2 21:09

That was a very confusing way of writing it. Yeah, yesterday, you know what the takeaway here is? That people need to pay attention in school when they're learning how to write. That is the takeaway, okay, so yesterday I was dropping things off. Well, there's no commas, there's no like grammarly, get grammarly. Yesterday, I was dropping things off and I figured out. I was missing the key to go in, so I called her and tell her. I called her and told her is what she said we forgot the keys. She comes and was like why you gave me the keys.

Speaker 1 21:43

What so? Grandma needs a grammar lesson too. On a totally why you gave me the keys.

Speaker 2 21:46

What so grandma needs a grammar lesson too. On a tone why you gave me the keys, why you gave me the keys. On a tone that was kind of like blaming me. Between by the way, by the way, thank you, I never get that. I always want to say between.

AITA: Canceling Shopping with Rude Niece

Speaker 2 22:00

By the way, she usually makes a lot of these comments. If she forgot her doctor appointment or something, she is like why you? Oh my gosh, I can't take it. Why you did not remember me, never acknowledge it was her fault, but it was like it's mine. But if it's like mine, but if it's like mine, why you did not remember me, never acknowledge it was her fault, but if it's like mine, but as if it's like mine, but if it's like mine, why you did not remember me, never acknowledge it was her fault, but if it's like mine, but as if it's like hers, like it's her fault, kid grief.

Speaker 2 22:32

I was mad and I told her well, don't blame me, as I was doing you a favor. What was the favor? You forgot the keys. We forgot the keys, okay. Yesterday I was dropping things off and I figured out I was missing the key to go in, okay. So the girl forgot, yeah. So what favor were you doing her? I guess multiple trips avoiding the freeway when I go home. She was saying how I was egotistic and that basically implied she was going to kick me out. Another important thing is that Monday I get injections on my lower back PRP. I don't know what that is and although it hurts to drive, I'm going to do that too Well.

Speaker 1 23:20

First of all, it sounds like you need an English lesson. Second of all, it sounds like you need an English lesson yeah. Second of all, it sounds like grandma does too, yeah. Third of all, you both sound a little rude to each other.

Speaker 2 23:34

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 23:38

Okay, Okay. This says OP has offered following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole Telling my grandma I was doing her a favor although we live together, and if she moves, I am technically moving.

Speaker 2 23:52

Huh, yeah, this one says. The sheer nerve of her blaming you for the keys when you are already going out of your way to help while injured is wild and the kicker threatening to kick you out over it that's not just ungrateful, it's manipulative, manipulative. Here's the thing Favors are voluntary, not obligations. That's true. If she's going to act like you're indebted to her for helping her, then maybe she doesn't deserve the help. Wait a minute, you can't get. So yeah, the girl, the person is living with her grandma for, probably for free. Yeah, also the. Why didn't you remind me?

Speaker 1 24:29

crop textbook deflection. My ex this person has some their own trauma. My ex's mom did that.

Speaker 2 24:35

Forgot her own birthday dinner reservations and yelled at us for not caring.

Speaker 1 24:41

This person needs to write their own. Am I the asshole?

Speaker 2 24:43

She's like you're not her secretary, her chauffeur or her emotional punching bag. She wants to play victim letter, but don't let her gaslight you into thinking you're the problem here. Oh, for heaven's sakes, this is a mess. This is a mess. I don't like that one. Yeah, uh, yeah, canceled, I cannot. I cannot read this. Yeah, it's hard to read. Um, why?

Speaker 1 25:11

you forget me why you?

Speaker 2 25:18

where does it say why you?

Speaker 1 25:19

forget me, why you not remember me or whatever like. I find that now, yeah, it's like for her appointment. She said why you not remember me? You're like maybe because you can't speak english oh gosh, all right, well, okay, okay.

Speaker 2 25:42

I think you and your grandma are assholes.

Speaker 1 25:47

Well, yeah, you're just both rude.

Speaker 2 25:52

No, I don't know. I don't actually have a feeling about it.

Speaker 1 25:56

Yeah, because I don't understand.

Speaker 2 25:59

It's confusing. Alright, go ahead.

Speaker 1 26:01

Okay, would I be the asshole if I confront my friend for his lies? No, no, all right. I, 17 male, am in a friend group with three other people anstey, who is also 17 these are the weirdest names. Anstey, str, who is also 17. These are the weirdest names Anstey, strathmore and Willis. Okay, willis is fine, but Strathmore and Anstey, their parents are.

Speaker 2 26:39

These are the text messages I mean. These are the people in the text.

Speaker 1 26:42

This is in the friend group. The three other people, anstey, strathmore and Willis. Strathmore and Willis are 18, but Anstey is 17, just like the writer. Okay, and they used commas, good job. We were friends from primary school, but we're now all at different ends of the city after we each moved, so we don't see each other often on account of the fact we are busy studying for year 12 and we mainly conversate through a group chat. Okay, this person's definitely like british or something. Yeah, um, early last year well, that makes sense of Anstey and Strathmore. Early last year, willis. Every time I read the word what's up Willis, yeah, what you?

Speaker 2 27:33

talking about.

Speaker 1 27:34

Willis yeah, Early last year Willis told us he was in a relationship and now had a girlfriend, and we were very excited for him. He seemed to be very happy too, sharing updates on how things were going, etc. But recently the rest of the group has found that Willis is saying what Willis is saying to be a bit suspicious For one. In his year-long relationship he hasn't even told us his girlfriend's name, referring to her exclusively as my GF, let alone actually introduced her to us. Okay, I have to pause because this is just so teenager like this is dumb. Uh, anyways, so none of us actually even know her name, even though we don't meet up in person. Do they ask? I have no idea.

Speaker 2 28:22

And who has a girlfriend? Anstey, willis, willis. So, willis, why haven't you said the girlfriend's name? Why didn't they just ask that, though I don't know, willis? What's your girlfriend's name. Yeah, this is solved.

Speaker 1 28:39

Even though we don't meet up in person often. Surely even having her join in on one of our hangout sessions on the phone would have happened by now? Why?

Speaker 2 28:49

Yeah, that's weird.

AITA: Grandma Favor Confusion

Speaker 1 28:50

Secondly, this doesn't line up with the fact that ever since we were little kids, willis' parents have been very strict, especially about his studying and hanging out with anyone outside of school. Yet apparently him and his girlfriend have been hanging out every day after school, going on dates and even spending the weekend over a few times. Me and the rest of the group noticed this, and Strathmore, who recently got into a relationship, found it quite strange for Willis to be hiding his girlfriend from us, and especially strange that he hasn't told us her name. So we're all starting to think that he's been lying to us for a year, which is very strange and a bit unlike him. But it seems to be the only possibility now that we plan to confront him about his lying soon, because it's caused us to lose a lot of trust in him as a friend oh for gosh sakes, okay, that's ridiculous.

Speaker 2 29:43

First of all, just ask willis what the girl's name is. Secondly, he might not be lying. He could be, and who cares if he is about having a fake girlfriend yeah, also it's.

Speaker 1 29:54

This sounds like uh, antsy strathmore. Willis and the writer have some sort of relationship where they need to share all their others. Like you're just a friend group, like you don't need to know all the details of willis and they don't even get together in person, they just get together on a phone. On the phone, yeah so that just seems like a little extreme I think so too.

Speaker 2 30:18

I think that's why would their girlfriend come? I think that would be weird. Did they invite other girlfriends? I don't know. And also, his girlfriend could be chat GBT, and then he would be telling the truth. He hangs out with them all the time, yeah, and he's fallen in love?

Speaker 1 30:38

Yeah, not the asshole. I personally would talk to him one-on-one to not make it a whole scene and have him feel concerned, a little insecure about his relationship status and wants people to believe he has a girlfriend. It's not that uncommon, so don't make him feel too bad. Let him know he doesn't need to tell these lies that was a good answer.

Speaker 2 31:16

Yeah, I like that. I think that's a good answer and also, um, that, yeah, that's kind of. I mean, I didn't say it eloquently, I just said who cares?

Speaker 1 31:25

if he has a girlfriend. It's like this person is making it about them, like it's not about you?

Speaker 2 31:29

Has he been dishonest in any other way?

Speaker 1 31:31

Yeah, they said it was unlike him to lie like that.

Speaker 2 31:35

So it's not a common thing for him to do, and I feel like sometimes, when you're a teenager, there's a lot of pressure for you to have a girlfriend, have a boyfriend, have sex like whatever.

Speaker 1 31:46

Yeah.

Speaker 2 31:46

Like there's pressure that doesn't need to be pressure.

Speaker 1 31:51

Yeah, yeah, no, I agree, I definitely.

Speaker 2 31:54

Actually, I don't even know why I'm saying that. As a teenager, I feel like that's true All the time. In general, it's like are you dating anyone? Have you been seeing anyone? It's like are you dating anyone? Have you been seeing anyone? Like, if not, you're a loser who just sits at home by themselves. What I want to say, let me tell you the people I have dated I would rather be sitting at home by myself. I'm waiting for my hot.

Speaker 1 32:22

Irishman. Yeah, I think this is silly Because, like to me, I'm like it's not about you. Like if Willis feels like he needs to lie, that's like a whole nother. Like then maybe like you're not creating the safe friend group that you think you are, and like that needs to be something that is talked about instead of who cares. If he's lying about his like a girlfriend, it's not like he's like telling you he's a somebody. He's not like he's just trying to fit in like every other 17 or 18 year old. Yeah, that's sad. Yeah, so justice for Willis.

Speaker 2 33:04

And if Chad is his girlfriend, that's okay.

Speaker 1 33:09

Well, maybe not yeah.

Speaker 2 33:14

We could do a whole episode on my online dating experience, because my last experience was a good one. Oh man, anyway, okay, because my last experience was oh a good one oh man, anyway, okay, so that's it, that's it, yeah, all right well well we'll see you when we see you?

Speaker 1 33:39

bye what? Why did you say that like that? I don't know. You sounded like a cartoon character. I don't know why. You're something, oh my gosh.

AITA: Suspicious Girlfriend Story

Speaker 2 33:55

Oh, that just reminded me of a funny thing. I went to the opera for the first time. You told me, okay, I was going to throw this story in at the last minute. Okay, the opera. And you know what I honestly think a good opera I really would like to see, because, like there were parts that I was like, oh yes, I can see myself really liking it, but in this case it was like a community theater opera. And why I thought of this story is because there was this one guy and he was like you're not gonna be able to see this, but he was like, oh, he was doing this crazy context.

Speaker 1 34:31

She's opening her mouth extremely wide and sticking out her tongue he wasn't sticking his tongue out.

Speaker 2 34:36

it's just that I have botox so I can't do the full expression. It was very um, it was like having to bear these facial expressions in order to sing. I don't know. It was very distracting, very distracting. Okay, that's all.

Speaker 1 34:56

All right, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.