Being a Highly Sensitive Person: The Science, The Soul, The Shift

Welcome back to the Vulnerability is Cool podcast. In today’s solo episode, I’m breaking down something that made everything finally make sense for me.

I had always heard the term “highly sensitive person” growing up, but I didn’t really get it until I was sitting in couples therapy with my ex and the therapist said, “You’re a highly sensitive person.” I was like… wait, what?

Since then, I’ve been obsessed with understanding what this means and how it affects our nervous system, our relationships, our mental health, and the way we show up in the world. If you’re someone who feels everything deeply, who notices the shift in someone’s tone, who gets overwhelmed in crowds, or who just wants to understand yourself better… this episode is for you.

This isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about understanding your nervous system, protecting your energy, and realizing that your sensitivity is not the problem, it’s your power.

In this episode:

• What it really means to be a highly sensitive person (HSP)
• The brain science behind HSPs
• How this shows up in relationships, friendships, and daily life
• Why overstimulation and anxiety hit differently for HSPs
• How to protect your frequency and stop people pleasing
• What to do when you feel like you're "too much"
• How to actually thrive as a sensitive person
• The practices that help me stay grounded and come home to myself
• Manifesting love, safe relationships, and the future version of you
• And why it’s safe to just be you

Affirmations to say with me:

• I am safe to be me
• I accept all that is meant for me
• I show up in my frequency

This one’s a warm blanket for the soul. And if you’re a highly sensitive person… welcome home. :')

@vulnerabilityiscool
@jennajarvisjarvis
vulnerabilityiscool.com

Thank you for listening, ily
xoxo

Transcript

 Hello Angels. Welcome back to the Vulnerability is Cool podcast. I am your host, Jenna Jarvis, and I am still here posting up in Bali, loving all the things, things are good, and definitely have my ups and downs like we all have. And like I said in a recent episode that I just feel like Bali brings out all the things in you.

And my intention here is to become my highest, best self. So. It is just getting me there, but I'm really excited for today's episode. It might just be the one that makes your entire life make a little bit more sense. It's something I'm very, very passionate about and have been researching literally like every day for the past couple of months.

We're talking about something that has changed the way I show up in relationships, the way I show up for myself, the way I see my anxiety, literally everything. It's something that I would. Hear about growing up, but I didn't fully understand until I was sitting in couples therapy with my ex and side note.

I had so many things on my manifestation board from last year, but two that are coming to mind right now is one was I lived in Bali, and the other one, which is so funny, was I. I've been to couples therapy, I've like always wanted to go because I feel like it's just like a cheat code for your relationship.

And I finally went in my past relationship, so that's exciting and I learned so much. It like fully transformed our relationship and I'm so grateful that I have that experience. But Mud to met Townsend and we sat down, we're telling him everything kind of what we experience and in my past relationship, he was more avoidant and I was more anxious.

So that's something we were trying to like. Work through and learn how to navigate. And Dr. Matt Townsend like looked at me and he was like, you're a highly sensitive person. And I was like, what? Come again? I was like, what does that even mean? And then he explained it to me and suddenly, literally everything made sense.

It was like a thousand little puzzle pieces just finally clicked together in my body and my mind. Like everything was just boom. Like, wow, this is why I am the way that I am. So today I just wanna break it all down for you. I've done my research. I am no ups. I am no expert, but I'm gonna keep it simple.

I'm gonna keep it clear. And if you're a highly sensitive person too, or love someone who is, this little episode's gonna feel like a warm blanket around your nervous system. All right, so let's get into it. First things first. What is a highly sensitive person, also called HSP? So this is not a diagnosis or a disorder.

It's actually a completely normal trait and something about 15 to 20% of people experience and are considered highly sensitive, which is literally one in five. And this term comes from a woman named Dr. Elaine Aaron, who has been studying this. Thank God for her for decades, and she discovered that HSPs have a more responsive nervous system.

That means that you process everything deeper, emotions, experiences, and even other people's energy. And I'm not just talking about Woo here, I'm talking about science. Okay. I do get woowoo, but this is a little more not woowoo. Brain scans have literally shown that HSPs have more activity in the parts of their brain that are responsible for awareness, empathy, and processing information.

So we tend to notice subtle changes in tone. Body language, eye contact, and we take in four times the amount of information compared to a regular person. And it takes us four times the amount of time to process that information. And it takes us longer to make decisions because we are constantly over analyzing and overthinking every single little thing.

And it's not that we're just dramatic. It's that our nervous systems are tuned to function in that way. So I like to explain it like this. If the average person is listening to the world on volume five. A highly sensitive person is listening to the world on volume 100, blasted all the way up with motherfucking surround sound.

Okay? And I kinda wanna explain how it shows up for me. And so first off, where I notice it the most is in relationships. I need someone that communicates very clearly with me. If you're being vague or your tone shifts a little bit, I am going to notice and I will probably spiral about it later, or. As I've grown and as I've evolved, I'm so much better about it.

But I definitely notice like in any relationship's, not just romantic, and when people aren't just direct with me. Especially in romantic relationships, it really affects me and it makes me feel very unsafe because my brain is picking up on things even when someone isn't saying them out loud. And if there's tension in a room, I will feel it before a single word is spoken.

It's a gift and it is also so exhausting. And if I don't protect my energy, I just get wiped like done for the motherfucking day, which is why I've had to learn to set good boundaries, slow down and stop trying to be easygoing for everyone around me because I noticed that I tend to go to other people's frequency instead of staying my own, because I wanna make other people feel comfortable, which I talked about in the past episode.

And here are some common traits of highly sensitive people and a few signs that maybe you are highly sensitive. But if you're listening to this, I'm sure you are so loud noises or. This might sound crazy, but very strong. Smells like you are literally sensitive to everything. For me, if someone lights a candle in the house, I will instantly get a headache.

Or if I'm in a workout class and someone's wearing like super strong cologne or deodorant, I will instantly smell it and it affects my entire class. Or if someone has really bad bo, I like cannot focus. Or even like I'll go to drink from a glass and if it smells a little bit weird 'cause there's like soap residue or it wasn't washed completely, like I literally can't drink outta the glass.

That could be a little OCD too. Another sign of this could be that you get overstimulated in crowds or chaotic places, and another one, you need a lot of alone time after socializing. Even if you had an amazing time, you cry easily and that could be happy tears or sad tears. Just all the tears you feel other people's emotions in your body.

This is something that I am noticing so much lately, like if I'm around someone that I feel. I don't know. I don't know fully what it is, but maybe someone that doesn't feel safe with themselves. I do not feel safe with them. Like someone that is very negative or like. I, it's like, I don't wanna say insecure, but maybe insecure and is like projecting that in different ways.

Like I just feel it in my body and I don't feel safe around them. You overthink everything because you're processing it very deeply. You hate violence or disturbing movies because it's just too much for you. You really struggle with transitions like change or being rushed. You are very, very empathetic, intuitive, and emotionally intelligent.

Maybe a little too self-aware sometimes. And let me just say that there's. Absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are not too much. You are not weak. You are literally wired to feel deeply, and it is a superpower. So we're gonna get into a little bit of the science of HSPs. So HSPs have a more active amygdala.

This is a part of the brain that processes emotions, especially fear and alertness. So another trait of being highly sensitive is being very jumpy. Which I have been so jumpy my entire life, and once I learned this, I was like, oh, makes sense, because like, I'm like a little too jumpy and I feel like my reaction time is like a little slow too, so I'm like embarrassing.

We're also likely to experience something called, um, I, I'm gonna pronounce it right, but it's called Mirror Touch Esia or something like that. I need to look up my notes, but I cannot remember, um, something along those lines, which essentially means we can physically feel someone else's pain as if it were our own.

And again, I'll say this a million times, it's not that you're just being dramatic, it's that you are experiencing life more intensely than others. So think of your nervous system as a sponge. A non HSP might absorb a few drops from a social interaction, whereas you're soaking up the whole damn ocean.

Alright, and in regards to all of this and the, we're gonna talk about how you can thrive as a highly sensitive person, here is what has helped me. So number one, own it. Own it. Own it, own it. You are a highly sensitive person and that is beautiful. And once we can accept that, we can move forward and progress and work with it.

So not try to get rid of it, but learn how to work with it. Something that has really helped me is truly understanding that alone time is not selfish, it is survival. Even if you are a mom or you. Are with your girlfriends all the time. You don't wanna leave their side. Like it's just something that you need, like your body, your mind.

It's just craving this and it is okay to be alone. I think it's important to schedule and recovery time the same way that you would like. A workout. Another thing is protect your mornings. We are so sensitive, so if you wake up and you just get on your phone and you fill your mind with all this garbage, you're gonna feel that literally all day.

So do not check your phone first thing in the morning. Stay in your own frequency. Start slow. Breathe. Journal. Meditate, do the things that actually matter and they'll help you tap in again to your own frequency. Another point is limit overstimulation. So close extra tabs. Use headphones. Go to quiet places.

Skip the events that don't serve you. Eliminate the people in your life that don't respect you and that don't see you for who you truly are. Something that I notice in. Like my business is, I am not able to fully show up if the people in my life do not support me. And it sucks, but it just really shows me how important it is for me to surround myself with people that are happy with themselves and that are not super insecure and projecting all of their insecurities onto me because I will feel it so deeply.

And the point that I just wanna rot in bed all day. Okay. This one's just making me emotional. Okay. But, um. At this point is so important, so important. It's something that I'm learning every day, but choose relationships that feel safe to you. And I kind of just spoke about this, but I keep seeing on Instagram like your soulmate is not the person that makes you feel crazy.

Your soulmate is not the person that is making you beg for their love. The one that doesn't understand your soul, that is not your soulmate. If someone makes you feel crazy for needing comfort or clarity. They are not your person, period. And something that I've learned that helps me move through my emotions and really tap into who I am and be in my own frequency is expressing myself.

Whether that is through for me, like planning a workshop or retreat and tapping into that creative energy or painting or dancing, or just fully expressing myself that allows you to move through these heavy emotions and. Limit this overthinking because you're actually in your body and you're actually doing something that you care about and expressing yourself.

Could be journaling, it could be movement. All the other ideas I said, it could be talking to a coach, like anything that will let this movement flow through your body and let these emotions out. And my last point here is kind of going back to the first one of owning it, like stop apologizing for being sensitive.

The more that you apologize, the more that people are gonna take advantage of that. You have to own it and be like, yeah, bitch, I'm sensitive and it's my superpower because, oh, even talking about this on bot storming period, I'm a little emotional, but I'm just like, and I think, I feel this so deeply because I have felt these feelings so much in my life and I continue to fill them and, but it's such a incredible reminder to.

Allow yourself to believe that you are not a burden. You are not too much. You are motherfucking intuitive. You are emotionally intelligent. You see things that other people miss, and that is truly powerful. Being a highly sensitive person is not something that you need to fix. I will say that over and over and over again.

It is something to understand, to protect, and to ultimately embrace. About yourself because when you stop trying to numb your sensitivity and start to work with it, you become magnetic, you become grounded. And most importantly, above all things, you become more you. You don't have to hustle to prove anything.

You just need to to tune in to your own rhythm because this world needs people that feel this world needs you. And you are the most you when you are in your own frequency and when you are taking care of yourself. So if that's you, if you're a highly sensitive, girly or boy welcome, you're not alone. You are not too much.

You're just the right amount of magic. That we all need. If you don't believe this, just work off my belief. Uh, it's been years in the making of trying to fully believe that I'm not too much and I'm not too sensitive, and I can truly speak my truth and show up fully in my energy. I'm just learning every day like this.

Life is too short to not be who you wanna be and chase the dreams that you wanna chase and cut out the negative people from your life. Like we do not have time for that. I'm so passionate about. Understanding yourself and becoming the person that you want to become. Not who everybody else wants you to become, but the person that you wanna become and the one that lights up your little inner child energy and brings you home.

If I could have everyone in the world understand one thing, it would be that the magic is in you, that all the answers you're seeking are. Inside of you because you are magic and it is truly a miracle that you are alive, a miracle. You know how many accidents there are every single day, how many complications happen with birth, and just so many little things.

I could go on and on and on. Like the fact that you are still alive and still here is a miracle and you do have a purpose and you just need to figure out what that is. I want you to start asking God and the universe or whatever it is that you believe. I want you to close your eyes and I want you to put your hand on your chest and I want you to say, show me how good it can get.

Show me how good it can get. Take a deep breath, breathing in, breathing out. And I want you to keep your hand on your heart, whether you're driving, walking, whatever you're doing. And I want you to repeat. I am safe to be me. I am safe to be me. And I will accept all that is meant for me. I will accept all that is meant for me.

And one last thing, I will show up in my frequency. I will show up in my frequency. Take a deep breath in breathing out. And I hope you love this episode and that you learned a little bit of something about yourself. Maybe you're someone you love. And if you loved it, please leave a little review. Let me know any feedback you have.

I hope you listened to the last episode and you sent me your vision board and your playlist. The ones that I got from people were just so beautiful and I'm obsessed. And if you ever need anything, let me know. I'm here. Just know that you're magnetic and that you create your reality. And I say these things in the name of vulnerability.

Amen.