Summer FOMO: How to Not Stress About Missing Out

Summer FOMO hits particularly hard as everyone seems to be living their best life while you may be stuck at work or feeling left out.

There's an unspoken pressure to maximise every sunlit moment and this stigma that if you're not going on at least one 'girls trip', you're not making the most of your summer.

In this week's episode, we explore why comparison intensifies during summer months and how to reclaim your summer enjoyment without measuring yourself against social media highlights.

Enjoy!

Transcript

Why Summer FOMO Hits Extra Hard

Speaker 1 0:17

Hey guys, or welcome back to another episode of the 20s Suburban Guide. This is your host, emily Astley. Summer is here, guys, and summer looks different for everyone right now when you're in your 20s. There are people who are working, there are people who are traveling, there are people who are doing whatever the hell they want and they're fun, employed, and we love that for them.

Speaker 1 0:37

But summer means that you're not in the same place as you were with your friends when you were at uni, when you were at school, when you'd all be able to be doing the same thing and no one felt left out because you were all just in the same place in life. And I think we couldn't be further apart now. We couldn't be more different than we are. And it's the time of year where you're either in Italy I mean, it's nice for some, I'm definitely not but you could be on a boat, you could be on a rooftop at a party, you could be going to a picnic with your friends you know you could be doing anything or you could be at work. And the issue is, if you're at work, you're going to get FOMO. And the issue with FOMO in summer is it hits extra hard. It hits harder than any other type of FOMO in the year. I honestly do believe this and I think we need to talk about why we get so much FOMO when it comes to summer. Because we're all doing different things and it's natural that your friends might be on holiday, traveling, and you might be working or doing something that's not as fun as it seems and you might feel left out, and that's just an awful feeling and it's super normal, firstly. But we're going to talk about how we can not feel like that this summer and how we can take away FOMO so we can actually enjoy summer and not feel pressured by other people on their social media who are having a great time when you just might feel like you're not doing enough. So in this episode, we are going to talk about why summer FOMO hits extra hard. We're going to talk about how we can protect our peace when it feels like everyone else is just doing more than us. We're going to talk about how we can enjoy summer without needing to look at tons of TikToks making us feel slightly shit, and we're also going to talk about how we can create your own version of a fulfilling summer not what you see on TikTok, what you see online. So, without further ado, let's get into the episode.

Speaker 1 2:38

So let's start with talking about why Summer FOMO is such a big deal and why it's really, really real, like it's an actual thing. And there's this pressure, I think, to live your best life in summer and I say that all the time. I catch myself saying it and I'm like that's super cringe but also we should be living our best lives throughout the year. You don't just need to wait for summer, but there is a pressure to be living your best life quote-unquote in summer and social media makes it look like everyone is living their best life and everyone has plans, everyone has summer globs, everyone's tanned, everyone's going on beach trips. And can I just say, as much as I would love to be tanned, I just don't tan very well and I know that that's sad and it's it's really sad actually, because I wish I could tan. I just think it would really give me a new glow up. But I just burn. I burn like a crisp and I could put on 50 spf, I could put on 30 spf and I would still burn and I sit there and I just hate it. I can't just sit in the sun for that long. But comparison kicks in, okay, and it often kicks in without you even realizing and you're going to be looking at that person's tan and thinking I want to be in the Maldives and I want that tan, but instead I'm in the rainy UK summer and it's just not going that well. Let's hope that it doesn't rain that much this summer, but you get me.

Speaker 1 3:57

So summer does make you feel hyper aware on things that you're not super comfortable about at the moment your body image. It could be you're single and you could really do with a partner right now. It could be you don't have as much money to go and enjoy the summer that you want. You could be burnt out, you could feel left out. You know it just goes on and you do feel this at all points in the year at times. But I think summer really heightens that feeling and it's so easy when your friends are doing things and you can think why wasn't I invited? Why didn't they invite me to this? Am I boring? Should I be doing more? No, no, no, we don't need that.

Where FOMO Really Comes From

Speaker 1 4:33

We're going to talk about where FOMO comes from now, because summer FOMO is real. Fomo in general is not actually about them, it's not actually about your friends who are doing the things that you wish you were doing. It's about what you think you're missing in yourself, and I know that sounds super deep and you're probably like Emily what the hell? I thought this was an episode that was going to help me, and it is, but a lot of the time, if you think about it like this, trust me, fomo isn't necessarily that you want to be at that party. You want to be enjoying that party A lot of the time. We often want the feeling, not the actual part in being there. So we want the connection with the friends, we want the fun, we want the ease, we want the invite that makes us feel like we were wanted in the first place, not actually just to go necessarily to the party.

Speaker 1 5:19

We know that it's just not good to compare ourselves to others, but again, just to go necessarily to the party. We know that it's just not good to compare ourselves to others, but again, how easy is that to say? It's so easy, but it's so hard to do. The thing is, when you have FOMO, when you start comparing yourself to those people on Instagram, it just makes you focus on what you're missing in life rather than what's actually going well for you right now and yes, the grass is always greener, like. We're always going to think like that.

Speaker 1 5:42

I could be on a boat trip in Italy, but I'm here. Or you could think about what you do have here, which you were probably happy with before you actually saw that reel. Do you know what I mean? And there is no such thing as the perfect summer. Like it doesn't actually exist. This person's reel, who you've just seen on Instagram, is 10 seconds of what it looks like to be the perfect summer, but it's 10 seconds out of their 24-hour day. Okay, they're showing 10 seconds, that's nothing. They are probably living a normal life and just posting their highlights on Instagram and it just naturally makes you feel bad. Like they're living that 10 second reel every single second of the day and it's just not true.

Speaker 1 6:22

Here's a big reality check. Ask yourself these two questions. Firstly, what am I actually afraid of if I don't have a fun, quote-unquote summer? Like? What's gonna happen if you don't live your best life this summer, if you don't go on the boat trips and the parties and do everything you possibly could? You're gonna be fine. It it's not gonna change anything. It might feel like it will in the moment, but it won't and also ask yourself what would my version of a meaningful summer actually look like? Like, what do you actually want this summer for yourself? You don't have to go to every party, you don't have to go to every gathering. What do you want out of the summer? I think those are two really good questions. Especially do you want out of the summer? I think those are two really good questions, especially the first one when you ask yourself what are you afraid of if you don't have the funnest summer ever? You think, oh my god, it's actually not that big a deal. Maybe you don't get summer FOMO and you're just like Emily I'm good, but I think everyone gets FOMO, whether you're super secure in yourself or not. It gets a lot easier when you learn to say no to things and when you're comfortable with saying no to things.

Speaker 1 7:22

But there have been times where I've seen my friends go to parties or go traveling or go on a girl's trip that I couldn't make and I was like, oh, I really wish I was there. And it's probably not that I wish I was wasted on a boat in the middle of some random place. It's probably not that, it's probably that I wish I was with my friends, having fun and being a part of those memories which they're going to remember for a long time, and it's super normal. But I'm going to be working this summer and I'm excited, but I know that my friends are in different stages of their lives and a lot of them are going to be traveling, a lot of them are going to be going on nice holidays and I won't really be doing that. So I will start to feel left out. I will start to feel really, really sad when I'm tired and burnt out and struggling at work, and there will always be your time and your turn to go and do that too.

Reclaiming Your Summer Experience

Speaker 1 8:14

So how can we deal with this summer FOMO guys? Because I don't really like it. I hate this feeling and it comes around every year and I just don't want to be a part of it anymore. And if you're feeling the same, I got you because we are going to reclaim the summer you. This is the transformation you've been waiting for. We are going to reclaim the summer you. This is the transformation you've been waiting for. Step number one reclaim summer you. What feels good to you? Ask yourself that question honestly and think why am I thinking, oh, that person wants to do that, that looks great, I want to join them. I want to do that what feels good to you, not what looks good online. Maybe you don't actually want to go on the boat trip. You just wanted to make it look like you were having that great time.

Speaker 1 9:07

You know, little things can be enjoyed and I think we forget about the little things Like having a nice iced coffee that just hits so well on a summer hot day, or going for a walk in the sun with an elite playlist, or just going for a little stroll in the park, sitting down and reading one of your favorite books. That's beautiful and also something that you can do in summer and take advantage of, because no one really wants to go and read a book in the freezing, cold, wet rain in the winter. You can romanticize the small stuff. It isn't a stupid thing to do. You might feel sort of silly romanticizing small things. I personally used to think that romanticizing your life was just a whole gimmick thing and it was like stupid and cringe and only weird influencers online did it. But you know what? There is a beauty to romanticizing your life, because you only get one life, and the more you sort of romanticize it and make it as if you are the main character in your own movie, the better you're gonna feel, and I'm doing that more and more now and I actually can give feedback that it does help. So reclaim what summer you want before you go and look at everyone else's and think what is gonna make me happy this summer, even if it's little things.

Speaker 1 10:26

Number two set boundaries with social media. I've said this on another episode when it comes to body image anxiety, but you should definitely unfollow or mute any accounts that trigger you, any accounts that are making you feel left out. It doesn't even need to be your friends. There's two different types of creators. There are the ones that don't make you feel like that, that make you feel like they're bringing you along with them on their journey. The creators who are making you feel like you're actually in that country with them and you're enjoying their journey, you're vicariously living through them, and that can be really nice. But there are also the creators who are just kind of like flashing it in your face I'm having the best time, this is so much fun. I never not have fun and it's a shame you're not joining. That's not the kind of creator that we want to be following. So you should really unfollow or mute them because you just don't need that energy.

Speaker 1 11:15

You're also not weak by being affected by this, because we take in so much content when we look on social media and it's so normal for our brain to just re-root itself and think the life that I'm living right now is not good enough. And that's so normal for our brain to just re-root itself and think the life that I'm living right now is not good enough. And that's not true. You're a human being. You're not weak that you feel that way. Also, like I said before with the creators, is this person inspiring me or are they just making me feel behind? Because anyone that's making you feel behind is just not worth being on your feed and it's going to actually hurt you. And that's the saddest thing on social media is like people can actually change the way we feel and change our mood when we don't even know them, and I think it should be a lot more normalized to just mute and unfollow people like that because you don't need that. That's like one easy step you can do in order to reduce any summer FOMO.

The Power of Missing Out

Speaker 1 12:04

Number three make intentional plans. It feels like if you don't have a girl's trip or a boy's trip each summer, you're kind of behind, you're not living your best life, you're not having the most fun because you'll see friendship groups online who will have their annual boy's trip, their annual girl's trip, and you're just like why can't I gather my friends and be organized enough to do the same thing? And that doesn't mean that you're not a close friendship group, because you you don't have that. It just it just might mean that you're all doing different things and you don't have the time to schedule something, that you're all in the same place at the same time, and that's fine. You don't need one of those, you just need like one beach trip or one day that makes you happy.

Speaker 1 12:48

Also, don't wait for other people to decide to host things. Recently I've been doing a lot more hosting and asking people if they're around and just pulling a group together, and you'll be so surprised by the amount of people that will just say yes, because I think a lot of the time I would be like either lazy, waiting for other people to make the plans and I just join, or just scared to host something and no one come. But I recently have just thrown all of that out the window and started asking more friends like what are you up to? I'm gonna do something, and then everyone just clams together and joins in and it's been the best couple times recently that I've done that. So, honestly, be the person that hosts the wine night, and it's okay if your summer is slower than theirs. It's okay if you're working throughout summer and they're not. You're not better off, you're not worse off. You're just in a different point in your life and you're not behind. Please remember, you're just aligned differently. Your path is not that path. You guys aren't the same person. So just make plans that are intentional. That aren't going to be plans where you're going to regret because you didn't want to feel FOMO.

Speaker 1 14:08

Now we're going to talk about the power of missing out. Okay, because this is my favourite part of the episode, I have to say, and there is a beauty in missing out on these things. It's kind of like the burnt toast theory, but different, because sometimes the party that you didn't go to is the reason why you woke up feeling peaceful, feeling rested, feeling well and ready for the day. Sometimes, when you didn't go out for a drink that night with your friend, you actually woke up, feeling more concentrated and more focused on what you're doing at work and you're actually benefiting yourself. We need to understand that FOMO is actually JOMO at the same time the joy of missing out and remember that rest is productive. You can't be on 24 seven. Your own peace is so sacred and making sure that you protect that is also way more important than just going to that party because you didn't want to miss out.

Speaker 1 15:02

And not every moment that you have this summer needs to be shared with people. If you're single, I understand that it is so hard because you want to think this experience that I'm having right now would be so nice if I could share it with that person, with a person who's my person, you know. But not every moment needs to be shared to be valuable. You can have so many moments that are special. There's some other just things that you're doing.

Finding Your Own Joy Challenge

Speaker 1 15:23

Another quote that really should resonate with you, because it does with me is that your life doesn't need to look good in order for it to feel good. Your life doesn't need to be this perfect, picturesque summer that looks gorgeous on instagram in order for you to feel like you're living your best life this summer like that just isn't the case. Also, the time where you miss that opportunity isn't always a missed opportunity. It could be more time to think, more time to rest, more time to just do things on your own terms and see what happiness looks like for you, not measuring your summer on someone else's terms. So that was it, this episode and I know it was short and sweet, but I feel like this was just a little motivational boost, a little reminder to you guys that you don't need to be doing absolutely everything to have a good summer. You've got this.

Speaker 1 16:09

You should feel like you're in control of the summer, that you are in the driver's seat and you can dictate however you want it to be. You don't need a highlight reel to have a good summer. You're allowed to have slow summers. You don't have to go to every party. If you aren't in the mood for a rave, if you're not a raving kind of person, if you're not a big partier, that's also fine. Like, you can be slow and you can have simple, quiet days and that is completely fine. And again, your peace and your own time and your own energy. Preventing you from burnout is literally way more important than proving that you can go out that night, or proving that you can be there for anyone else.

Speaker 1 16:51

So back again with the challenge of the week, and I'm going to tell you what this week's challenge is. This week, I want you to do one thing that brings you joy. Consciously take a note of this, because I really really think that it will make a big difference. This joy shouldn't be Instagram joy. It should be your joy. What makes you happy, not what looks good on Instagram.

Speaker 1 17:13

You are genuinely not missing out, guys, and the biggest thing I want you to take away from this episode is that a lot of the time, fomo is not actually about the event. You don't actually wanna go to the event. A lot of the time, it's probably about the feeling of connection, the memory that you're actually feeling like you're left out from. So just process that, think about it. You are doing great. You'll have the best summer. However you wanna spend it. Everyone's is different. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. If you enjoyed it and you do one thing that brings you joy this week, please send me a message what it is on Instagram DMs and I hope you guys have a great rest of your Wednesday. I shall see you next week. Bye.