Five Mindset Shifts for Mental Fitness in Your 20s

A strange little Saturday exercise, eyes closed, three mystery bottles, a friend with a case of flower drops, turned into a mirror I didn’t know I needed. 

I walk you through the mindset shift that followed, then break down five practical lessons that have reshaped my week and steadied my year. 

Since mental fitness is just as important as physical fitness, I knew we HAD to have an episode about it! 

Enjoy!

Chapters

• 0:34 Setting the Stage: Mental Fitness
• 1:38 The Homeopathic “Remedy” Setup
• 3:12 Picking the Three Bottles
• 4:57 Bottle One: Impatience Exposed
• 6:26 Bottle Two: Empathy and Impulse
• 8:04 Bottle Three: Fear of the Future
• 9:17 The Mindset Shift: Be Here Now
• 9:46 Lesson One: You’re Enough Already
• 11:54 Lesson Two: Believe You’re Capable
• 13:47 Lesson Three: Showing Up Isn’t Perfect
• 15:50 Lesson Four: Slowing Down Is Strength
• 17:00 Lesson Five: You Can’t Do Everything
• 17:39 Year-End Reflection and Encouragement
• 18:38 Closing Thoughts and Send-Off

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:17

Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the 20s survival guide. This is your host, Emily, and we're back for another solo episode. You guessed it, it's just me this week. I have story time for today, guys, and I freaking love story time. A story that actually happened this week, which has completely shifted my entire mindset. I wanted to share with you how this mindset shift changed the way I look at my day-to-day life, and I hope it can help you. There are five things that I wanted to share with you guys from this mindset shift. Being mentally fit is just as important as being physically fit, and I wanted to share with you some tips on how to be mentally fit in your 20s, why it's important, and how these five mindset changes in particular have made me stronger and will make you stronger too. So, without further ado, let's get into the episode. Okay, so I'm gonna bring you along the story. I had a friend stay over. I don't know if you guys have ever heard of homeopathic remedies or if you are at any point interested or believe in them. I think it's supposed to be around healing naturally and using different methods that are supposed to be remedies to, you know, mental health things, for example, or injuries and how you can approach them differently than just taking pills. But anyway, I experienced an interesting remedy. I woke up on a Saturday morning and as a person who has a lot of ADHD and someone who likes to keep busy, I have my brain going at like 100 miles per hour all the time. And it's so exhausting, but I honestly wouldn't change it because I think it helps me feel productive. I am actually not afraid to admit that I can be quite impatient because of that. So when I had someone staying over and they were a homeopathic doctor, she sat down with me and she said, Oh, there's this um remedy that I really want you to try. And I was thinking, oh my gosh, it's probably some witchy, not actually helpful sort of remedy that like I don't really believe in, and I have shit to do, I have stuff to do, time is ticking, and it's a Saturday morning, I was just not in the mood. But I sat down with her and she and I and she was like, Trust me, this is only gonna take 10 minutes and it's going to change so much for you. So I was like, okay, give it a while, why not at this point? So I sat down and I was just so skeptical at this point. I'm looking at my watch and she opens up this book almost, but it's not a book, it's like a case, and inside this case is basically 40 bottles of little potions. Inside these potions were sort of like a you know extract from a flower that's supposed to, you know, make you feel calm or make you feel happy, whatever the connotation is of that. So it was really witchy, and I was like, what is this? 40 bottles of these little potions. I feel like I'm in, you know, some witch's brew house and I don't really know how this is supposed to help me. But the weirdest thing was she said to me, you're gonna choose three of them. You're gonna shut your eyes and you're going to just feel all of these bottles and choose randomly because you don't know what any of them are called or or anything, and choose randomly what feels right. Choose three bottles. And the first bottle is going to be how you're feeling at the moment, the second bottle is gonna be how you feel later, and the third bottle is going to be this underlying feeling that you constantly have at the moment. And I was thinking, I'm just gonna choose whichever bottle feels right in the moment. Like, there's no there's no way to actually know. And I was thinking, oh my god, I really don't believe in any of this. Woo-ha, like please. But I did it because I was like, you know, just just entertain it, why not? And I chose my three bottles, and then she gets out her big book. And the weirdest thing was is that when she opened her book, the book had the different flowers that I chose which were in the bottle, and the bottle had a name on it which linked to the feeling or emotion that comes with that flower. So the first flower and bottle that I chose was actually impatience. She basically told me that I am someone who is extremely impatient. You get frustrated when things take longer to get done, or you don't like waiting for things to take their course, then you basically just are very impatient and don't live in the moment. And the weirdest thing was that it that that was exactly how I was feeling at the time. And I was kind of shocked because when someone says that to you, and someone is actively telling you that you are that kind of way, you have to look inwards and think, oh my gosh, that is how I'm behaving, and I ignore it, and it's not a nice trait to have. It's it's actually it was kind of ugly, and I was like, oh my god, that's exactly me. I feel like you're reading into my soul right now. Anyway, impatience and that flower had its had its benefits. There were positives, you know. You you always get things done, like you apply to deadlines and all of this stuff, which is very much me because I'm someone who is just always on the go and needs to be doing stuff, and I'm really struggled to slow down. But I was like, okay, this is weird. This bottle is supposed to, you know, be exactly how I feel, and it's pretty accurate. So then she put two drops of this flour into my water, and I was like, Am I supposed to drink this? Before I drank the water, she picked out the second bottle that I chose, and I was thinking, this is gonna be, you know, really random. This is definitely not gonna be the same. I'm not gonna be exactly like this one, because you know, what's the luck in that? And the second one was basically saying that I'm impulsive and um quite emotional, and I was like, oh my god, okay, this is really just not, this is really helpful for my self-confidence. And she opened up the bottle and she put the w the drops in my water, and she said that you throw yourself into other people's situations in a good way, like you care about them, and and if someone's going through a difficult time, you know, you feel just as much as they do about their situation, you just care a lot, but it also comes with its negatives of you know being impulsive as a person, and I just felt like this is really weird because it's exactly how I actually feel, and it's exactly how I am. It was making me sit there and think, oh my gosh, I am currently rushing or not present because I feel like I'm not getting enough done with my day, and I feel like I'm wasting time and I'm running out of time. And when I sat there and she told me that's exactly how I am, it made me stop and think and realize that I need to be more in the present, and being present is so important, and I didn't really need to rush off to do other things, the world wasn't going to end. I just needed to be present with my own thoughts and be in the moment, and not everything needs to be done straight away. So that was weird, and then the third bottle was the fear of the future, the fear of the unknown, and I was like, oh my god, this is creepy because this is exactly how I feel. So she said that it was based around feeling like you're running out of time, you know, fearing of the future. There was something interesting about how someone is telling you your deepest, darkest thoughts out loud without you even having to explain it to them and holding you accountable. The whole point of it was to accept and realize how you are and realize that it's okay to be this way, and these are your traits, and there are so many benefits and advantages to them. But the reason I wanted to tell you guys a story is because firstly, I thought it was a little odd, but turned out to be a really refreshing experience. And for the rest of that day, I realized that I needed to turn down the dial in my brain a little bit, turn down the speed, and be in the present. Not everything needs to be just tick, tick, tick off the to-do list. You can actually just be present and enjoy the moment, and you are okay or not running out of time. That was a huge mindset shift for me because I think even on the weekends, the worry that we are running out of time, the worry that we aren't going to be successful in the future, which we all are, is so normal, but it's so hard to change. So there's an element of just being aware of it, which is so okay. You don't need to change and constantly find a way to be more productive. Sometimes you don't realize how good a moment is until it's gone, but you're not running out of time. So I wanted to talk to you guys about the five main things that I've learned this year that has helped me become more mentally fit. The first one is something that I've really struggled with, and I say this all the time, and I caught myself saying it the other day, and it made me realize that I need to stop saying this, and that is you need to be better. That is, you need to always be better, you need to always be better, you need to always improve everything, improve, improve, improve, change, change, change, grow, grow, grow. Oh my gosh, there's so much truth in making sure that you're constantly growing and constantly putting yourself out of your comfort zone. But there's a notion when you say, I can always be better, I can be better, which is actually really toxic because there's an element of not being able to accept who you are now. You're great now, you're doing enough now, rather than thinking that you always need to be doing better. Because you almost talk to yourself in a really negative light when you say things like that, and it stops you from realizing how far you've come in the present. So if you're someone who is really eager, always looking to be better and you know, improve, that's an amazing treat to have, and it will do so well for you in your life, but you also don't always need to be better. Like you don't need to be better all the time. You what about thinking that you are enough already? You're doing good enough now. There are moments where there is something freeing when you just accept the moment and accept who you are now, and that doesn't make you a failure because you're a constant work in progress. So talking to yourself in a way that allows you to accept who you are now and that who you are now is amazing enough, that doesn't mean that you're not going to grow and change, but it doesn't mean that you need to be doing better and you're never doing enough. Point number two. Okay, this is another really key things that I've learned this year. And I know it's October, but I have really nailed down on this one. If you don't believe you are capable, you won't get the right opportunities that come your way. The opportunities that you're waiting for or you're looking for won't present themselves until you believe that you are capable to receive them. And this isn't some like universe thing where, oh, something's gonna fall in your lap and it's you know, I'll meet that person when I'm ready and the right person will come along at the right time. This is more like you having confidence in yourself and knowing that you're worthy to receive this or you're capable to do that job, you're capable to be in a relationship with that person, you're capable and you core, you believe it in your actual core, that is when things will start coming for you. The the attraction of that, what is meant for you, will come when you know that you are capable of receiving it. So, how can you do that? You can do that by actually realizing and going through the process and sitting with yourself and being honest and building up the confidence to know that you are good enough and you believe in yourself. Because it's okay to say that you believe in yourself without really meaning it. And we all do that sometimes, and you're like, I believe in myself, but really you're so, so anxious, and you're really not sure the fear of the future, the fear of the unknown, if you actually will make make it out, if it will work out for you. Believing that you're capable is one of the biggest lessons that you can learn in your 20s because you are building that confidence and that relationship with yourself where you can trust yourself. So just think about that from time to time when you're anxious about an opportunity or you're you're not getting what you want right now. Or number three is also something that I've really learned the hard way this year, and that is that showing up for yourself doesn't look perfect every day. And boy, do we hear this all the freaking time. I know, I know, but I mean it when I say you might have the most horrific day ever, and you might be showing up for yourself in the worst way possible, and you might think this is just awful. I I don't want to be here, I don't want to exercise, I don't want to be at work today. I have so much baggage right now in my life, and I just think that this session, this meeting, this presentation was just awful, and I just should never should have done it. But you're not gonna be perfect every day, and showing up for yourself is building that trust and that relationship with yourself that you're still there. If you run for 10 minutes or five minutes when you said you're gonna go on a run, you're building the trust with yourself that you actually will show up for yourself. It doesn't need to be the longest run, for example. You just need to show up for yourself and it won't look perfect every day, and that doesn't mean that you're behind or you're failing. You are the most important person in your life. You putting yourself first is really important in most situations right now. So show up for yourself, and even if it doesn't feel like you really did a good job, you could have done a horrific job in whatever it is you're showing up to, but you still showed up, even if you just got to the gym, for example, and you didn't even work out, you got there, you drove there, you got inside, you realize that it's not that scary. Maybe you walked on the treadmill for two minutes. Fine, you still showed up, you built that trust with yourself. So just remember it doesn't look perfect every day, and that's the same for everyone, but you're still doing it, and that's great because that's gonna pay off. Number four, slowing down is not a weakness. So you might be someone like me, type A personality, always on the go, always busy, always doing stuff. Slowing down feels like toxic to you. It feels so horrible and so anxiety-inducing because that is just so out of your nature because you're always, always on the go. But it's not a weakness. It's not a weakness, and I'm gonna keep telling you guys this on the podcast every single week if you need to hear it, because I really mean it. It's not a weakness, guys. Slowing down is so important, and it's important to be mentally fit, it's important for your mental fitness. We don't want to get caught up in the moment and then sacrifice precious time that we look back at in our 20s when we're older and be like, oh my gosh, I never really slowed down, I never really stopped to look at how beautiful the sky was that day, or stay that extra five minutes to listen to my friends' problems and be there for them, or have a laugh with my friends rather than be looking at the phone. And the last one, number five, this is in a way the most important one. You can't do everything all the time. You know, I'm someone who likes to take on so much in my day, or you know, say yes to everything, and and then I get stressed because I fill up too much time. I don't have any time to actually squeeze everything in and do it to its best ability. And you don't need to do everything all the time, it's not possible. Things need to be sacrificed. You can't say yes to everything. You're only one person, okay? You're not five people, and most of us don't have PAs, so you can't do everything all the time. You have to say no to things, and that's not that's not a weakness. Those are my five mindset shift tips that I've had this year so far, and I wanted to share them with you guys because we're kind of in the almost end of the year and it's wild. It's so so crazy how fast it's gone. It's important to reflect on what we've learned this year, and I have learned that slowing down and keeping your mind mentally fit is so important to be able to keep showing up for yourself every day. If you're having a tough time at work, if you're really struggling at the moment to have that mental fitness or have that balance in your life, I think this episode is just here to remind you that you have to take care of your mental fitness as well as your physical fitness. And slowing down is so good. I hope you guys enjoyed this little therapy session that we had this week. At the end of the year, going to look back and think, okay, I'm definitely mentally fit and I'm more mentally fit than I was the year before. You are exactly where you need to be right now, and your opportunities will come and things will get better if they're difficult right now. I hope you guys have a great rest of your week, and I shall see you next Wednesday. Bye.