12 Signs You’re Doing BETTER Than You Think in Your 20s (TB)

Do you ever catch yourself feeling behind, or guilty that you aren't at your best version of yourself yet? 

The good news is that this is so normal, and sometimes you need a reminder that you are actually doing much better than you think. 

In this episode, we discuss and go into detail of 12 signs that show you you are doing much better than you think in your 20's! 

If you want a motivational pick me up, a comforting compliment, or a structured redirection, this episode is for you!

Enjoy!

Chapters

• 2:58 Why Your 20s Feel Uncertain
• 3:26 Sign 1: Learning From Mistakes
• 5:21 Sign 2: You’ve Changed Since Last Year
• 7:15 Sign 3: Owning Your Life
• 9:20 Sign 4: Your Support System
• 12:39 Sign 5: Managing Money, Imperfectly
• 16:20 Sign 6: Boundaries & Well‑Being
• 20:21 Sign 7: Resilience & Coping Skills
• 22:38 Sign 8: Keep Going Through Uncertainty
• 26:03 Sign 9: Seeking Constructive Feedback
• 30:55 Sign 10: Following Through
• 35:23 Sign 11: Time Management Progress
• 37:53 Sign 12: Comfortable Being Alone
• 41:38 Outro

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:21

Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of the 20 Survival Guide. This is your host Emily Astley. Welcome back to another episode. Welcome back to another episode of the 20 Survival Guide. This is your host, Emily Astley. And and if you're a new listener, we welcome you to this little community. And if if you're a new listener, thank you for tuning in. You have come to the right place because we absolutely are so unfiltered. We are so unfiltered here, and everything that you could possibly think of, we talk about that's to do with your 20s. So if you're a new listener, welcome and thank you for tuning in. We love to have you. And if you're a loyal listener and you've been here since day one, we love to have you back. And just yeah, welcome back to the community, guys. Um, in today's episode, we're going to talk about something which is so important. So it's no, so it's no surprise that your 20s are just completely uncertain, and everyone says that they're the best years of your life, and we know that is just probably not accurate, but it's really important to remind ourselves that we're doing much but in a world of just comparing yourself to others and feeling really anxious that you're not maybe on the right track or you're not conforming to your five-year plan, or you're not hitting the goals and the milestones that you want to, it's really important for us to remind ourselves that we're actually doing better than we think. And in today's episode, I'm gonna I need foil on the foil like I have on the far oven. In today's episode, we're gonna talk about 12 reasons, 12 signs that you we're gonna talk about 12 key signs that you should look out for, which will let you know that you're doing better than you think you are in your 20s. So without further ado, let's get into the episode. Okay, so essentially this episode is just a boost, a motivation boost, and a reassuring reminder that you're actually on the right track. So I don't know if you need to hear this today, but it's always really important to just remember that if you're having a bad day or you're feeling lost, you are on the right track. And these signs are really just the most important ones to tell you that you are. So sign number one. So let's go through the signs. The first sign is the first sign is learn also, also just want to remind you that none of these signs are in any particular order, and I'm probably gonna pick up my favourites along the way, but the first sign is learning from your mistakes. So we all know that mistakes are are so inevitable in your 20s, and this is literally in every aspect of your life. This is probably known to be the decade of making mistakes, like it is important that you do make these mistakes because you are learning. You've only been alive for max two decades. So, of course, you're gonna need to make mistakes. But learning from these mistakes is a whole nother ball game because if you keep repeating the mistakes, then you're going to fall into a trap of not growing as a person. But if you're learning from these mistakes, looking back on what you did or how you acted, and you make sure that you put in the effort so that it doesn't happen again, you're doing so much better than you think because that is growth essentially. And we know that every setback, every setback is just a stepping stone to your to every time you face a challenge, every time you make a big mistake in your life, you're only coming out of it wiser. And every mistake, I think, no matter how small, changes you slightly, changes you into someone who has more knowledge, someone who is wiser, someone who is some someone who has more growth. And I think that learning from these mistakes is so important. So if you're learning from your mistakes, that is a great sign that you're doing better than you think. Sign number two, you're not the same person as you were a year ago. Sign number two, you're not the same person you were a year ago. Like, look back and reflect on last year. Were you the same person? Obviously, there are parts of you that are the same, but you're probably older and wiser and making better choices for yourself, hopefully, than you were last year. And that is a sign of personal growth and progress in general. It's really easy to look at yourself now and compare yourself to the previous month and say, maybe I'm not being as productive as I was last month, maybe I'm not working as hard, or maybe I'm not exercising as much as I want to be, and I'm falling behind. But really, if you think about it in a in the time span of a year, you're probably so much more, you're probably so much further ahead than you were a year ago. And that is so important because if you are the same person you were a year ago, you probably aren't pushing yourself enough. And I know that might be hard to hear, but it's the truth. So if you consider yourself as someone who's slightly tweaked into a better version of yourself than you were a year ago, you're doing better than you think. This signs that you're doing better could be, you know, gaining new habits. Gaining new habits, gaining new skills, just moving forward, changing your mindset about things. We know that growth isn't linear, but every time you make a new habit that's positive, that's healthy, it counts, and it probably counts more than you think. Sign number three: you're taking responsibility for your life. Okay, this is a huge one. You might not be exactly where you want to be right now in your life, you might be struggling mentally, you might be in a job that you hate, you could be unemployed, looking for a job, and it's tough out here, and there's a whole nother episode on that. But the point is that you're making an effort, you're trying. Things are tough, and I think people have mentioned to me before that it gets easier after your 20s because you're more settled and there's more security in your life about what's what's coming for you, and you know, you you feel less insecure as a person, but I think that giving up because it's difficult is never gonna work, and you're always gonna have to realize that you have to keep pushing forward in life. So at least you put in the effort. By putting in the effort when things get difficult, you're taking responsibility, and that is a huge sign that you are doing better than you think. So, examples of this could be you're budgeting, you're looking at saving more, and and taking care of your finances, you could be buying educational courses, even if it's not a degree necessarily, you could be buying online courses, things that are benefiting you and bettering you in your career or your personal growth. All of these little things are signs that you're just putting the effort in to take responsibility to be a better person and grow yourself. This is just you showing up for yourself, and that's a huge win. And something so minor, such as showing up for yourself in the gym, let's say, when you really don't want to, is just again a huge win, and you're taking responsibility because no one else is gonna do that for you. Sign number four, you have a support system. This could be so small, and by a support system, it could be your family, or it could be your friends and your family, even if you don't need like a huge friendship group, that is so not what I'm saying here because I think we all know, or at least I have experienced, that your friendship group narrows down after school, after university, because you just don't have as much time to give to friends who don't how hold as much purpose and give you as much value in your life as you need, and you just can't keep track of everyone, like you end up gravitating towards the few that you're really close with and that you really gain a lot from, and build those relationships. So having a support system is so important because even if this is just your family, it means that when you're going through difficult times, you have got them and you've built these relationships, even if it's just your family. Like family does take effort and work to build relationships with, and you put in that work. So when you have a support system, you've proven to yourself that you can build relationships that are so strong that they will be there for you when you're going through your toughest times. You will be there for them when the same thing happens. So having a support system is a great sign that that is your almost like your base layer of stability. And the main thing why that's so important is because even though you might not have a relationship or you might, your partner might be your support system. That's great. You're not alone. This support system is your reminder. Even if you feel alone, you're not. These people are there for you, and that is a huge win, and it's so important to have always. And they would rush and drop everything for you, rather than saying, I have a friendship group of 20, and none of them really know you deep on a deep level, none of them would really drop anything for you, and you could never just call one of them up to be like, hey, let's just hang out and do nothing and not talk because they're not kind of friends that you have, which you don't have to put effort in. I think those are the best ones where you can hang out with a friend when you're so tired and you have no energy and you know that you don't have to make an effort with them, it's just it just happens naturally. So, quality over quantity with friendships with your support system, and if someone's not serving you, we always say this you don't need to people please, it's okay, like focus on your support system. Sign number five: you're managing your finances, even even if it's imperfectly, even if it's not very well. Okay, personally, out of the five that we've listed so far, this is definitely my favorite because you are getting older now, and that is okay. We're getting older, but we're getting sexier, we're getting hotter, we're getting more fun, and older doesn't mean bad. That is just a little caveat. But managing your finances becomes so much more important. So the fact if you're trying, if you're actually trying, even if it's difficult, even if you're struggling to budget, that is a huge sign that you are actually doing better than you think because you're learning and putting in the effort to learn how to manage your finances. Now, a huge thing is that now why this is so important is because we just don't get taught about finances in school, and you learn about what history and politics and English, but you don't really learn about how to pay taxes and how much you should save each month. You never learn that. So if you're trying to manage your finances, even if you're struggling, you are putting the effort in to educate yourself, and that's a huge win. So this is just but this this just doesn't happen overnight. It's just you chipping away by making an effort to budget or save or or just being more mindful about your spending than you were before. That is such a big sign that you are doing better than you thought you were. And I say this, and I think I've said this a couple times, but there's this app called Spendy, and I love apps for these kinds of things. It is a savings app, and there's this app called Spendy, and I really like it because what it does is you link it to your card and it will tell you how much you're spending on each category, like a week or a month. So how much you're spending on food and drink, how much you're spending on petrol, how much you're spending on other things that you know, entertainment, for example. And the best way, the best thing about this app is that you can set limits on your on the app of how much you want to spend in each category a week or a month, for example, so you're actually tracking how much you're spending because it's really easy to just let it slip off, it's really easy to just let that slip away underneath you. So it does cost money after it's 14-day free trial, and I'm not promoting it. However, it is useful because I downloaded it the other day, and when I put a couple limits in, it was a shocker. After like three nights out, I looked at the app and I was shocked with how much I'd already overspent compared to what I wanted to, and I was like, this is a sign I need to care about my savings more. But if you're trying to budget and you're just trying to look at your bank account more, which I think is really important to look at every day, but it's up to you, that's a big sign that you're doing better than you think. Your finances are really important. It might be boring, but it's really important. Also, if you are thinking, oh my gosh, I try with my budgeting, but I just went out last night and I dropped like£50 at a bar for three cocktails. Honestly, it's fine because it's not about being perfect, it's just about improving bit by bit. So if you're even just thinking about budgeting, that's so much better than you than you realize, probably. That's so much better than just not. Sign number six, you're setting boundaries and prioritising your well-being. This is really important, and I've spoken about setting boundaries in another episode to do with how you should stop people pleasing and how to stop people pleasing. So, examples of this is saying no to things that drain you, saying no to plans that drain you, saying no to opportunities which might sound great but just don't serve you, saying no to friends that drain you, saying no to relationships that drain you, the list goes on. But setting these boundaries for yourself is like your personal bubble that you've almost created in order to make you feel safe because you know what's right, what serves you, and you know what doesn't, and you're not just doing things because you don't want to say no to people. And prioritizing your well-being is just prioritizing, let's say, your physical health, your exercising, your doing habits and creating habits each day, each week that are compounding and growing you into a more productive person. Things like this is you prioritizing your well-being, and these are massive signs that you're doing better than you think, because it's really hard to do that in your 20s when you've got so much other things going on. And and again, these boundaries don't just show that you're growing, but they also show self-respect. So that is why it is so important to create these because it's a sign to yourself. You're almost saying thank you that you respect yourself in a way, if that makes any sense, but I think it does sign number seven, you're setting sign number seven, you're developing resilience and coping skills. So you're always gonna be challenged, life is always gonna throw challenges, and one analogy I really like about this, one thing that I really like that links to this topic is that when you delay things, let's say there's a task that you've got to do and you're really busy at the moment and you're making excuses not to do it, and you're like, it's okay, I'll do it next month because I'm less busy next month, I've got less in the less things in the calendar. That's never gonna be a good thing, it's never gonna work out because things are always gonna come and unexpectedly change things up. So you're always gonna get thrown something that's gonna make you busy. There's never a right time for things, but being able to be resilient and have coping skills when things get difficult is really important because it shows you that you're able and learning to handle stress in the right way. It also shows you that you can adapt to change and keep pushing forward, which is something that no human really likes. It's just something that you have to learn to get used to. And being able to adapt to change makes you stronger and more resilient as a person, and that means that you're just less stressed, less anxious when you can do that. That is a huge sign that you're doing better than you think. And you might even be so resilient that you don't even realize when you adapt to things anymore, even if they're so small, you're naturally doing it. So sometimes it's important to look back and think, what's something that changed in my life recently that I didn't really like or want or plan for, and I adapted to it really quickly. That's a huge win. You should be really proud of yourself because it really might sound small now, but each time that happens, you're building yourself up and you're growing as a person. And everyone says this is always like such an interview question when you're going for jobs, but being able to handle setbacks and navigate setbacks is like a huge indicator for success. So well done you if you can do that. Sign number eight, you're willing to keep going. Sign number eight, you're willing to keep going even when things get uncertain. So we know that your 20s are just full of uncertainty and everything is unpredictable right now. You have no idea where you could be next month. You know, you could have a whole completely different future or career path that you decide you want to step into. But being able to navigate these and push forward, and even though when things get really difficult, you're still pursuing your dreams, you're still pursuing your, you know, goals. I know that sounds so cringe and cliche, but you are still going for what you really want when things make it really difficult to get there, you are not losing sight of your vision, and that's a huge sign that you are doing better than you think. Because when something's really difficult, and when you are a successful person, and I'm talking about, you know, let's talk about Steve Jobs or someone else, like I don't know, Oprah. I don't know why she came to my mind, but they never got there by just breezing through everyone else. They got there because when things were so difficult before they had their huge breaks, their big breaks, and their massive success, it was so difficult, but they kept going even when it was excruciatingly hard, and that is genuinely just them being able to not lose sight of their vision and what they really wanted to achieve, even when things got difficult. So if you're doing that in any way, you are doing so much better than you think, and don't talk down those things, like you should be very proud of yourself. It is okay to celebrate yourself. It's really hard when you're someone who is just very harsh on yourself. But I am your reminder today to be nicer and celebrate yourself, it's not cringe, it's really important. One way to do this is to one sign that you're actually doing this is that you remain hopeful when things are tough or when there are big challenges in your way. And I don't mean delusionally hopeful, I mean when things are difficult, you don't just turn into a really negative person and start beating yourself up. You still have hope and you still have that spark of hope that keeps you going, and that's really important because that is really what will get you through your lowest of your lows, having hope. And being hopeful is a sign that you are doing better than you think because although the world is really uncertain and so are your 20s, there is there is light when you work hard, and you will get rewarded for working hard and showing up for yourself. So having hope is really important. Sign number nine, you're seeking out and acting on constructive feedback. So essentially, this is when you've stopped taking criticism personally and you actually use this criticism to and turn it into a way that you can just be a better person and better yourself. So this is essentially when you've stopped taking criticism personally and you use it to improve your work, whether this is with your friends and arguments or your career or any area of life, you should start to see criticism as a way to help you be better and help you improve what you're doing rather than a personal attack. And that's something that a lot of people struggle with, more so some than others. But if you're at least trying to see this criticism and not get defensive when you receive it and see it more as this person is probably trying to help me grow. Hi, I'm almost finished filming a podcast. Okay, bye-bye. Out of the twelve so far, this is this is the ninth, and it's definitely up there with like my top two because it is a sign of maturity, and you can seek this constructive feedback from your colleagues, your family, your relationships. And let's say in a friendship someone says, I really don't like how you act when you give me feedback. Let's say in a friendship someone says, I really don't like how you conduct yourself when I tell you something that's really deep and personal and vulnerable because I am someone who is more sensitive and I need more compassion rather than the tough love. And you act accordingly and you change yourself and think, okay, I appreciate that. I want to make sure I can be there for you in the best way possible and learn. And and use that feedback to be that better friend rather than seeing it as a personal attack and thinking that they're trying to just have a go at you. That is pure maturity right there. So that is a huge sign. That is a huge sign that you're doing much better than you think. Sign number 10. You're off you are following through with your commitments. Don't be a flake, guys. I'm not gonna lie, I've been a flake so many times, and I am still flaky sometimes. There are times in my life where I make plans and I then get to the day and I really just don't want to go, and I don't want to do, I don't want to do it for personal reasons, for whatever happened that week, could have been a long week, and I'll cancel, and there's nothing wrong with that. But being able to follow through on your commitments as a whole, in general, the most part, like 90% of the time, because we're not perfect, that is a big sign that you are doing better than you think. Because if you consider yourself and deep down, you might not want to admit it, but if you consider yourself as someone who can be slightly flaky and you've been making an effort and working hard to be someone who follows through with their commitments a bit more, you are doing better because you could probably look at yourself last year and think, okay, I was a massive flake last year, but I'm doing better now. And look, every little improvement helps, even if it's just a tiny bit better than last year, it is so so good. So you have to follow through on your commitments in life. Examples of this are simply some great examples of this are following through on a project, this could be a work, following through on a promise to a friend, following through on a goal or a commitment that you've set yourself and a target or a person or a personal goal that you are holding yourself accountable to. That is pure, pure growth right there. And that's because that's because this shows this really just this is really just and in essence why that's so important is because it shows discipline and it shows maturity and it shows that you're growing into more of an adult than you probably think you are. So having the discipline to really not cancel on a plan when you really don't want to, but you have made a promise, you committed, you are obviously might not want to go, and of course, this doesn't link to people pleasing because that's different, but you make a commitment on something, then people see you as reliable, they know they can trust you, they know they can come to you, and you'll be there whenever. And this is the same with projects, this is the same in work. You are not letting yourself down, and you're being a mature person, so that is a huge sign. And look, like I mentioned, even if you struggle with making and sticking to your commitments, which is so normal, and we are still so young and learning how to do that, and even if you're a flake sometimes, the fact that you're taking your commitments seriously and you're treating them all with respect and um they're all important is a big sign that you're maturing, and it's basically the foundation of success because if you want to start a business, if you want to reach a personal goal, like let's say run a marathon, um, you need to stick to these commitments, you need to train every single day, run however many miles every single day in order to achieve that goal and run your marathon in as in the desired time. And that is the foundation for success because you have to be able to do things over and over day in, day out, when they get boring, when you don't want to, when they get difficult. And sometimes they don't get difficult, they just get boring because they're repetitive. But that is a commitment that you should have showed up for, and even if you don't want to do it because it's boring, you are committed, and that is real growth and a real sign that you're doing better than you think. Sign number 11. We're almost there, guys. You're getting better at managing your time. Time commitments is so hard, especially in your 20s, because you just learn, I think. Some people struggle more than others, but you learn that in the real world, when you leave university, when you leave school, when you leave your house, people are counting on you. Let's use a corporate, corporate work environment as an example. If you show up late, like so many times, people are gonna get so annoyed, and even if it's five minutes late, that's just not deemed as acceptable in most places. So you really have to learn how to manage your time, and this could be with projects, or it could just be showing up to events and commitments and your work on time, and it's hard because you know, at uni, especially, I'm speaking for myself here, you know, if you were five minutes late to a lecture, it was annoying, but you weren't gonna get a detention, you were just gonna walk through the lecture hall and people would look at you and be like, oh, they're late. But then no one would really care. But when it comes down to being fired or not, you really have to care. So you really need to make sure that time commitments are one of these things. This could even this doesn't even just have to be showing up on timed places, but it's your time prioritization. So knowing how much time you should spend on each task, knowing what is important, what's best for you, where you should put your time. These are all really, really key signs to show that you are learning how to act and work most efficiently. For example, just small minor improvements of how you spend your day, how you spend your time on the day to day is important for success and important for growth. Like maybe you spend too much time in the morning on your phone before you get out of bed. Learning how to make sure that you divide your time in the right places and prioritize it so you don't lose that structure is so so pivotal. And I think that it really just does. If you are that kind of person who is learning how to manage their time better, it's really difficult, but you are definitely doing better than you think. That is a huge sign. Sign number 12, the last sign, guys. We've made it. I hope that you've actually retained all of these signs, but this last sign is almost the most important one of all because there is so so much of this that you will have to endure for the rest of your life, and being comfortable with it is probably the best the best way that you can tell that you're doing better than you think, and that is being comfortable by being alone, and that is that you are more comfortable when and that is that you're becoming more comfortable with being alone, and I don't mean necessarily alone by being single, alone by not being in a relationship. I mean you are more comfortable with just you spending time by yourself and doing things by yourself, and this could be going on a solo date, this could be going on a solo day out, this could be going on a solo trip, which is really you know far-fetched for some people. I'm not really the person that will want to do that just because I could so do it, I'd have no problem, but I'd get I'd really just want to talk to someone. But being able to be alone and with your own thoughts, your own company, not needing to make plans or be with people all the time is such a big sign that you are doing better than you think. Because you know, because I'm sure you know and feel this deep down that when you're in your 20s, there is such a social pressure to always have plans, let's say always have social plans on the weekend, or be in a relationship because it you because your friends are in one, or because it just shows that you've got someone and a partner and people love that, but there is such a social pressure to do that, and being able to be comfortable with not having plans, with not being in a relationship, that is great, and it's really hard to learn and work on, but you can get there if you're learning to enjoy your own company and just make if you're learning to enjoy your own company and enjoy your own personal hobbies and being able to do that by yourself without needing someone all the time, you are growing in self-confidence and independence. Those things are so important because no one can take that away from you. Let's say you get a you're let's say you're in a relationship and you have a breakup. If you are comfortable with being alone, you are going to cruise through that breakup so much faster than you would if you need or feel the need and the urge to be with someone or have social plans or always keep yourself around other people's company because you need to heal in a relationship after a relationship has broken up. You need to be able to heal by yourself, and obviously you have your support system, but being able to feel comfortable when things get difficult, that you are okay by yourself, you can stand on your own two feet is so underrated, and that's a major step towards long-term happiness. I'm not saying you have to be a loner, I'm not saying that you have to have no social plans for a week and see if you can handle it. I'm just saying that when you don't have a social plan, when you are by yourself, you can handle it. You are independent. That is a huge sign, guys, that you're doing much better than you think. So there you have it. Those are 12 signs to show that you are doing so much better than you think in your 20s. Now, you might not be able to say, you might not be able to say that you've done all of them or you have all of them yet. And if you do, I'm pretty damn impressed because it is not normal to have all of these signs down in your early 20s, in your mid-20s, in your late 20s. But some of them, if you have at least one, that is huge. And I'm sure that you have more than one. I am positive that you do. And this is an episode that you should really just think of as okay, I might be feeling uncertain or anxious about what's going on in my life right now, but you are reminded that you are on the right track and you're doing so much better, then you probably give yourself credit for. So I hope you enjoy this episode. So you should obviously just give yourself some credit, and I do really like this phrase. This is probably one of my favorite quotes, and it is just that you are exactly where you need to be right now. You might not think it, but you are, and keep on your path because you are growing and maturing without you even realizing. So I hope you guys enjoyed this episode, and I shall see you next Wednesday. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. If you really liked it, send me a message, send me a text in the show notes, and if you have any other signs that you think are key to show that you're doing better than you think in your 20s, I'd love to hear them. I'd love to add to this. Maybe come back in a couple months and do a second part of the episode and come back with some more signs. But I hope you guys enjoyed the episode. But I hope you guys enjoyed this episode, and I shall see you next Wednesday. Bye.