Why I Went on ADHD Medication as a Nervous System Coach - And Why I'm Not Ashamed of It | Episode 39

Still on the fence about ADHD medication? Will it change your personality? Does it go against your values to do everything holistically?

This episode is the one I wish existed when I was sitting in that exact place- a late-diagnosed ADHD woman trying to figure out if medication was right for me.

20 months in, I'm sharing the unfiltered version of my ADHD medication journey, not the science you can Google, but the questions nobody seemed to answer honestly. Will it take away your sparkle? Does taking ADHD meds mean your nervous system work was pointless? What happens when your prescriber has no idea your luteal phase exists? Can medication help my PMDD and ADHD? And what do you do when the people who love you think you're making a mistake?

I talk about why I came off Elvanse, how I've learned to adjust my dose across my cycle after being dismissed by my first prescriber, and the moment I stopped justifying my choices to everyone else.

I also get into what meds genuinely can and can't do - because if you think they're going to sort everything out without the other work in place, there's something important you need to hear first.

This isn't medical advice. It's just my honest, messy, still-figuring-it-out story.

⚠️ Not medical advice — always work with your own healthcare provider.

Keywords: ADHD medication women, Elvanse, methylphenidate, ADHD and PMDD, ADHD menstrual cycle, ADHD nervous system, late diagnosed ADHD, ADHD emotional regulation, ADHD business owner medication, holistic ADHD medication, ADHD burnout

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DISCLAIMER: Everything mentioned in this podcast is only my/my guests’ opinion and should not be a substitute for seeing a medical professional or taken as financial advice. Please seek advice from your doctor and confirm with them that they are happy for you to implement something you heard on the podcast.

Transcript

Welcome And Who This Helps

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Calm Your Nervous System podcast. I'm your host, Jenny Addams, Somatic ADHD Business Coach, and this is a space for you if you're a sensitive, neurodivergent, heart-led business owner who wants success without burning yourself out. Here we blend nervous system regulation with trauma-informed business strategy so you can increase your impact in a way that actually feels safe, sustainable, and allowing. You'll have practical tools, honest behind-the-scenes conversations, mindset shifts, and a good sprinkle of spiritual wounds, all designed to help you put your body first, trust yourself again, and create more ease, energy, and abundance in your life and business. I'm so glad you're here. Let's go calm your nervous system. Welcome back to the podcast. And you're going to want to listen to this episode if you are somebody that's maybe a bit curious about whether you take ADHD meds or not. If you're on the fence, if you're maybe somebody who prefers to do things more holistically, but you're curious about trying them, but you're kind of umming and aring, what I'm going to try and do in this episode is not to just talk about the facts because there's plenty of information about that out there on what ADHD meds do to dopamine, etc., but actually share my experience of what it is like to be on ADHD meds about 20 months into taking them. Because when I was first looking at going on medication, there was a lot of questions coming up about will it change my personality? Do I agree on going on them? Like, am I just medicating myself against a neurotypical world? Is there actually a deficiency in my brain that needs fixing? So I'm gonna answer as many of these questions as I can in this episode. And just

Should You Try ADHD Meds

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a caveat, I am not a medical professional. I am only sharing my opinion and my journey. So pop into my DMs if you have any questions about this. But this is me just sharing my thoughts and feelings. This isn't medical evidence or fact. And I'm also sharing my experience as a person in the UK who has gone through the right to choose path because I know that there are different systems in different parts of the world, and also going through the NHS versus doing things privately takes different costs and different times. So let's let's start at the beginning, shall we? I had been curious about taking meds for probably a year before I got my official diagnosis because I knew I had ADHD. I've known it for about five years from people calling, insulting me. Why can't you sit still? Have you got ADHD or something? Why are you always starting a new thing? Have you got ADHD or something? And realizing, maybe, maybe they maybe they've got something right there. Maybe I do, and maybe they don't need to use it. It's a fucking insult. So, you know, I figured out I probably do have ADHD, just accepted it as a fact. I was not that fussed about getting diagnosed. It wasn't a big validating thing for me, unlike being diagnosed with ME, CFS, years ago, where I just I didn't have that internal validation myself. So when I actually got the diagnosis, I was getting it more so I could actually try medication. I had already self-diagnosed myself and was looking after myself as if I had ADHD anyway. So the process of actually getting diagnosed with ADHD is an ADHD nightmare because what is required are forms. I think I went to the doctor, this would have been early 2024. I went to the doctors, obviously, I'd been writing down, you know, I struggle with this, this, this, and this, and said, I think I've got ADHD. Can you refer me to get a diagnosis, please? I'd heard about the right to choose option. So I asked them specifically, can you diagnose me through the right to choose option? I think I chose ADHD 360, and obviously the name says it all right to choose. You get to choose who you work with. I think there's Psychiatry UK on there as well. There's a there's a few um private prescribers that you can use that because the NHS waiting lists are like insanely

UK Diagnosis Via Right To Choose

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long, you can go down the right to choose option, and the waiting is the wait list is a bit shorter. So I reckon it must have taken me about, I think about six months. I think I put the forms in in April, which obviously I procrastinated on because you know, ADHD forms, um, it required booking a doctor's appointment and then taking forms in and then leaving them with them, going and picking them up, posting them off. There was some hoops to jump through, but I was like, okay, right, let's let's just get this done. Um, same with access to work. There's often something on the other end of it when we actually can do the thing, but it it does take a while. Um, I then had an appointment with a psychiatrist in October 2024 who went through a history of my childhood, what symptoms I have, how they show up. Um I can't remember all the questions now, but basically they were just, you know, how do you find concentration and how long's this gone on for? Have you been a daydreamer? You know, those sorts of those sorts of things. So she felt like I there was enough evidence there to to diagnose me. So I got the diagnosis. And then here's where things get interesting. Obviously, I was going into this as an ADHD coach, so I already have a fair bit of knowledge and experience with understanding ADHD, working with ADHDers as well. And I was like, I wonder how they're gonna approach this. If they're gonna ask me about my job and what I do and how much I am aware of, anything like that. Like, what are they gonna recommend once they actually diagnose me? And I think it was it's again, it's down to who you speak to. So, this prescriber that I spoke to, or psychiatrist, whatever she was, said, Okay, yep, we feel like you've got ADHD. Now, how we treat it is with drugs because you have a dopamine deficiency, these drugs will give you more dopamine, you don't have any problems then. End of. So, do you want drugs? And obviously, my intention with getting the diagnosis was I want to try medication, but oh my god, it just made me shake my head because I thought if if you are somebody that doesn't have the insight that I do, and that's the approach, is you just have a dopamine deficiency, and these magic drugs will fix it. No, no, I'm sorry. And I will go into a bit more detail about why this is, but not she didn't ask, Am I seeing a therapist? Am I getting any coaching? How my nervous system is, what my routines look like, what support I have. There was none of that. So the actual lifestyle factors they didn't touch. So I now call them my drug dealer because that's essentially how I see them. I turn up, how are you doing? Yeah, all right, is it working? Yeah, can I have some more drugs? Okay, we'll we'll write you a prescription. So that's kind of how I see them. Instead of a um, I don't know if they're even supposed to be a bit more holistic in caring for you as a person as opposed to just, do you want some drugs? So that's my opinion on how that has gone. The second prescriber I've worked with has been a lot better. So I will talk to you about that as well. So when I got diagnosed and I was curious about trying medication, the main things that I wanted support with were around emotional regulation, setting up better habits and routines, especially in the morning. I found the morning I would just end up sitting in bed for ages. I'd have like a chai latte in bed that was probably too much of a big sugar hit. Um, I get my phone out, and then suddenly the whole morning's gone, and I haven't actually done anything. Um, time just seemed to blur in a weird way in the morning, and I was just constantly running late. And things like getting up and having to have a shower and having to make breakfast and figuring out what I'm gonna wear. It just felt like two, too many things to have to go through just to get out the door and go to work. So I would often just procrastinate and stay in bed, and the medication has definitely helped with that. The other things that I wanted support with were around PMDD and mood swing. So I've only just been diagnosed with PMDD, or as the doctor who diagnosed me called it, PMMD. I'm like, no, no, I think it's PMDD. Okay, so I I think you meet the criteria for PMMD. And I'm like, okay, well, I'll just give me the diagnosis. Is there anything you can do that doesn't require drugs? No. Okay, cool. Well, there's that validation. Kind of knew I'd had it anyway. Um, so I wanted some support around PMDD and especially that luteal phase of just feeling like utter shit and feeling really anxious, and a lot of that was very much um mental. Like I just didn't want to go out, I didn't feel um, I just didn't feel good enough, and that has still been there whilst on medication, but it's not as intense as it was. So better habits, better emotional regulation, and not dopamine chasing so much. So for me, the way I would dopamine chase was with food, and I would get quite obsessive. Like one of my friends will laugh that um she's always like, Jen, you get these like certain donuts that they only have in London. Every time I got to London, I'm like, I've got to go get one of these chocolate donuts. Oh my god, they're so good. And I will get obsessive about it. Whereas now, if someone put one under my nose, I'm like, yeah, I'll have it. But before it was just like, I need that donut, donut, donut, donut, donut. And I I would not, my brain would not shut up until I'd had the donut. Same with things like chocolate and biscuits in the evening. I couldn't just have one. And when I was eating, there would be certain like more sensory foods. So especially in that looty

When Treatment Becomes Just Prescribing

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week before my period, anything that was like crunchy or salty or like crispy that I could see the dopamine, because dopamine is there not to give you necessarily a dopamine hit when you have something. Dopamine is there as a motivator, it's the go and do this thing and you'll feel good. Doesn't always mean you actually feel good when you do the thing, but then it's like, oh, the next one will be better. Try it again, do the next thing. It's what keeps us going, basically. But it's also how we get trapped in addictions because what dopamine can do, and this is how it worked for me, is I'd be eating and I'd have a mouthful of food in my mouth, I'm chewing it, and I've already got the next one loaded up ready, and there's something in my brain going, the next one will be better. Go on, have another bit, have another bit, the next one will be better, the next one will be better, and then you just don't stop. Same with you know, open a bag of crisps, unless you put them in a bowl and then put the crisps away, or you've just finished the bag, or um a packet of biscuits or chocolate or whatever. You just keep going and going and going and going because that dopamine in your brain is like, go on, have another one, have another one. So food was a big thing for me, and spending money as well, getting that little hit off of oh, let me buy this thing, and yeah, spending money, I think, was another big one. But the the main one for me was was food because that was very obsessive. And another thing I wanted support around was doing like boring tasks that just didn't ever get round to doing. So I was watching back my video diary that you can still see on my Instagram highlights if anyone is interested. And I was really worried at first going on medication, and there was a lot of pushback from my husband and my family because in my 20s, when I was really, really chronically ill with M E CFS, I had been in a minor car accident, chronic pain, it was probably fibromyalgia. I was going to the doctors and being like, What's wrong with me? And essentially giving a lot of my power away to the doctors who got me on so much medication to the point where I'm taking this drug because that offsets the side effects of this drug, and then that drug will wake me up, and then that drug will put send me to sleep. And you know, you're taking a fucking stimulant in the morning to get you up, and then you're taking it down or at night to send you to sleep, and like they're all just fighting against each other. Um, I was on the top dose of tramadol, which is like a it's a controlled drug, so it's a quite a high opioid, and uh obviously I got away from all of these, but at one point, and I wouldn't say I was addicted to them because it never felt like that for me, but I think I was just giving so much of my power to the doctors of being like, Well, the doctors have said if I take these, then I'll feel better. And one day I think just this light bulb went off in my head, and I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? Like, I'm taking so much medication. Are they just gonna keep giving me this? And I'm like 25, 28, whatever I was. Am I just gonna be on this for the rest of my life? And like one of the tablets was like a stomach protector. Like, what are these what are these tablets doing if you have to be protecting the lining of my stomach? Like, what's that doing to a highly sensitive person if I don't need to be on them? So I'm not anti-medication, but just the fact that once you're on these, they'll just keep writing you prescriptions. And I honestly think if I if I hadn't taken this into my own hands and been like, can I get better another way? I'd I'd still be on all this medication like 10 years later. So I think my family were concerned that that could happen again, and they've seen me go downhill and how bad I was when I was sick. And you know, obviously they they don't want that for me again. And it had been a good few years that I hadn't had probably four or five years that I'd had no antidepressants, no painkillers. You know, I take paracetamol, I don't know, two or three

The Real Goals: Mornings And Mood

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times a year if I've got a bad headache or um, you know, something like that happened, but it was very rare. So I think there was a little bit of um maybe a superiority or a bit of an ego to me that was like, I got better the holistic way. I don't do medication, like I'm just doing everything through diet and exercise and regulation, and I don't need that. And I think this is where we can we can kind of butt heads with the Western approach, and we can say, no, it's shit, they don't know what they're talking about. I'd still be on all this medication if I listen to the doctors, or we can be completely reliant on the doctors and we don't listen to our own bodies and our own intuition. And I see this a lot in the world that people seem to be in one of two camps. And what if there is somewhere in the middle where actually we use the Western medicine for what it's good for? It's not good for everything, but we use the more eastern holistic approach also for what it's good for. It's not one is better than the other necessarily, or one is right and one is wrong, it's using your own discernment, knowing your own body with what's right for you. So it it took me a bit of time to actually use my own voice and say to my family, like, this is my decision, this is my body. If I'm gonna choose to take medication, then that's my choice. And I would appreciate if you supported me. And there was a few pushbacks, and you know, me fawning and feeling like I'm having to justify myself and you know, over-explain, well, actually, this is the benefits of them, and blah blah blah. And what I know now and what I do say to people is my choice. Like basically, fuck off. You have nothing to say about my body because it's my body, my choice, my decisions. So please respect that. So I was looking back through my video diaries yesterday, and I remember the first day I took L-Vance, which is I think it's an amphetamine, that was the first one they put me on. They put me on 30 milligrams to start with and wanted to titrate me up pretty quickly. The first day I remember feeling a little bit um, a little bit wired, but also quite calm, if that makes sense. Like my head felt clearer. And I think because I just had so much noise in my head for so much of my life, but suddenly that noise to go quiet, it was a little bit like, oh, where am I? It was a little bit disorienting. You know, like the example that comes to me is I remember as a child, we'd be I'd I'd be in the back of the car asleep, and it was always when we come off the motorway that that noise of the motorway just disappeared, and that would wake me up because I'd know we were nearly home because we came off the motorway. It was kind of like that. There was just this background noise, and then suddenly nothing, or it was quieter, that made me alert. Oh, something's changed here. This is a little bit weird. And I think throughout all of the medication journey, the last I think it's been 20 months. So this was October 2024. I went on meds and it's the middle of June 2026 now as I record this. The main thing that I have, or one of the things that I have found is they calm me down. So everything's just a little bit easier, more gentle. I don't feel so wired and so um like I have to do things. So that kind of sympathetic response in my nervous system just seems a little bit more chill. But I have noticed when I have increased that adrenaline, that buzzy, uh jittery sort of feeling does come back. And I've been on quite a few different medications. But another one of the worries that I had was about my appetite. And they actually say in the um piece of paper that comes with them to have them with breakfast or before breakfast because you might lose your appetite. Now, I don't know if this is a personal thing to me because of all of the interoception, proprioceptive work that I have done on myself. I'm always speaking to clients, you know, tune into your body, listen to your body, listen to your body. I don't know if that muscle memory is just quite strong in me now. But hunger never was one of those things that I've struggled with with the medication. Some people have said when they take them, they just don't feel hungry at all and they have to kind of force themselves to eat. I haven't felt that. So I, if I haven't

Dopamine Chasing With Food And Spending

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eaten for a few hours, I will start to feel hungry. But when it comes to food, one of the big, big things I have noticed is that dopamine chasing isn't there. That like that, I need the donut, or that oh, I'm gonna have a piece of chocolate and then I'm gonna have another one, and then another one, another one. That's not there. So I think partly because of that, and not just shoveling sugary shit in my face every night for the last 18, 20 months. Um, I have lost about two and a half stone. But I also think going on meds, you're not supposed to drink alcohol on meds. And I wasn't I'm never really a big drinker anyway. But it was kind of creeping up to maybe a glass three, four, five nights a week. And you know, a glass of wine's like 200 calories or something, and I think you know that just adds up. So I think the fact that I was not drinking alcohol, I was also at that year, I was actively doing a lot more to be healthy. So I had started to see a personal trainer, I was looking at my blood sugar levels, I was seeing a nutritionist as well. So there was also things I was doing at that time to just get a bit healthier because somehow I think my weight had crept up to like 14, nearly 15 stone, I think in 2024. Um, and I'm now, I think I'm 11 and a half, so I'm I think it's the first time in my life I've not been overweight. I think I'm still on the border, and I'm like, I'm like a size 10 to 12 now, but I think I've probably got about four stone in my arse. So don't don't think I'll ever get rid of that. Um, so yeah, I've lost weight, but it I don't think that's just a medication. And this is where we have to have some discernment because nothing is just one thing. Now that first drug dealer that I saw put me on 30 milligrams of L Vance for a week, and then I think I went up to 70 pretty quickly. They did titrate me up quite quick, and I just remember that jump felt too much. The week on 30 milligrams, having never been on stimulants and never like I've never taken any party drugs or anything like that. So my system is like, you know, this is fresh to my system. Yes, I took a shitload of painkillers, but I've never had any like stimulants or like ecstasy or MDMA or I don't know, whatever people take at parties and things. Um, I think I I just knew if I if I go near any of that, it's not gonna end well. So just never did. So going straight on to 30 milligrams and then they titrated me up to 70 pretty quickly, it it just felt a little bit too much. And I felt a little bit buzzy, and also they didn't talk to me about when I'm taking them, as in regards to my cycle, because that week. I took 30. I can't remember where I was in my cycle now, but you know, if I did that in ovulation week, I'm going to feel very different to luteol week. And when I have been put on different medication since then, I have said to them, I have a highly sensitive nervous system. I'm a highly sensitive person. If you think you should be titrated up in a week, give me a month. And I've also spoken to a functional medicine doctor about this as well. And she actually said to me, and again, this is my what I've heard, this isn't medical fact. She said to me that long-term ADHD medication has a better effect if we are on a 50% dose. So let's say the max dose for ADHD meds is 100 milligrams. What I have found the prescribers want to do is they'll start you on like 30, they'll put you up to 60, and then they'll get you up to 100. And then when you're on 100, they'll just keep prescribing it to you. But your system tends to get used to that. And if you are somebody who has a cycle as well, that's going to hit differently depending on where you are in your cycle. So what this functional medicine doctor told me is if the max dose is 100, try and be on about 50 milligrams. Because you've got some wiggle room then. If it's depending on your cycle, if you're going through a rougher stage in your life. But that is where long term it's most supportive if you are going to be on them for a prolonged amount of time. So you don't just whack yourself up, get used to them, and then like I can't go anywhere from here. So I have pushed back quite a lot over the last year with what I'm having, how they're titrating me, and I've really pushed back on can I have more for my lutear week and less for my ovulation week? And they have just gone by well, the facts, the science says this should be fine. Yes, but how much of that research was done on men and boys? How much is it how much of it's been done on women and specifically looking at when and in relation to their cycles? Any of that? No. Okay. Let me follow my body. So let me talk about some of the side effects that I found, first of all, on L Vance. Obviously, your body's getting used to it. I found the first few days my jaw felt really tight. Like, I don't know if you've ever woken up or you know you've been like grinding your teeth, and just your whole jaw was like really, really tight and achy. And you know, you really want to get into your muscles and just like just sort of release your mouth off. That felt just, yeah, my jaw just felt really tight. And I don't think I was grinding my teeth, but there was obviously more tension being held around my jaw. I was struggling with a really dry mouth and throat for probably the first few weeks. And anytime I then titrated up on El Vance, I noticed that I was really dry. I think I had a bit of a headache the first few days. But the main thing, and this is why I came off El Vance after a I don't know, three or four months was this was over winter. So I came on, I went on it in October

Medical Trauma And Family Pushback

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24. And then I I think I must have changed in February, March time. So, you know, I gave it a good few months, but that was also over winter. That I was getting horrendous chill blanes on my feet. Now I've got reinards anyway, and how these stimulants work, especially some of the amphetamine ones, is they will ramp up the sympathetic response of your nervous system. They increase the amount of noradrenaline that you have in your system, which in turn can constrict the blood vessels that you have. So if you've already got a condition like Reynards, where your circulation isn't great, I'm also hypermobile. So, you know, there's there's those few things going on, and have previously had pots, which is very manageable now. So there's a few things going on there, but I want the maximum amount of blood going to my feet when it's freezing cold as possible. And I think throwing those things in with something that then dilates, no, not dilates, constricts the blood vessels. There just wasn't enough circulation getting to my toes, and they were going like painfully numb. You could you could see them like one toe would be like pink and healthy, and then the next one's like white as a ghost, and I'm poking it and like trying to get some um blood into there. Just no. They and and then they turn into chill blanes, and it it fucking hurt because you can't see anything, you can't see the chill blanes, but they feel like a burn, they feel like your foot's burned, and you look at it, you're like, There's nothing there, but why does it hurt? So after a winter of that, I told them, and then I think I read the I don't know, I did some Googling or read the piece of paper it comes with. I think it says if you do have rainards, you need to be careful with certain ADHD medication for that exact reason. So luckily none of my toes fell off, but it it did feel like they were going to on some days. Now, another reason I ended up on quite a few different types of meds were partly the rainards. Also, because they put me on concerta at some point as well. They put me on to an instant release at one point, but I had been saying to them for since the beginning that I'm vegan, and I know no medication can be fully vegan because unfortunately it is all tested on animals, but I don't want to be taking gelatin capsules, I don't want to be putting lactose in my body, one from an ethical perspective, and two, my my body just doesn't agree. If I've when I ate meat, I felt really heavy and I just didn't feel well. Anytime I've had lactose since been being vegan, I'm horrifically bloated. Like my body just doesn't like those things. And I'd continually been asking, is there not something you can give me doesn't have lactose in and doesn't have gelatin capsules? And they're like, Well, you can take the gelatin capsules and you can break them open and you can like put them into some yogurt and have that. And I'm like, the ADHD meds, that's a whole extra step of something, and also the animals have already been killed to be put in those capsules, so kind of partly defeats the object. Yes, it's not going into my body, but like, come on, it's 2026. Have you not got something that doesn't have an animal in the medication, please? So I think I banged on about not having gelatin capsules for long enough. I'm vegan, don't want gelatin capsules. So they put me on a new one, got the piece of paper that comes through. What's included? Lactose. I'm like, oh, for fuck's sake. Okay. I took them for a while, didn't get on with them, and then I've had these conversations like, what is it benefiting me? Do I take it? Oh, I'm not sure. So I I did have them for a while. Um, and then I tried the instant release because they said that was the only medication that doesn't have either or doesn't have any animal products in it. And they put me on these, I think it must have been autumn 2025. And you're supposed to take three a day. I think it's 10 milligrams of it's one of the methylphenidates. I can't remember what which one it was now. Maybe it's concerta. Um, but you're supposed to take these three times a day. Now I will try and have the minimum dose if I can. And I had been saying to my prescriber for ages, I need a different amount depending on where I am in my cycle. And she just didn't seem to get that. She was like, okay, well, I'm prescribing you 30 milligrams a day, but she'd broken it down into three instant release tablets. So I wasn't fiddling around with those and being like, okay, well, in my luteal week, I'm gonna have the 30 milligrams. In my ovulation week, maybe I'll have 10 or 20. But again, ADHD, you forget to take them. So I'd have the one in the morning, and then it would get to sort of three or four o'clock in the afternoon, and I'm like, oh shit, I've forgotten to take them. But if I take them now, that means they last for about six hours, and then am I gonna struggle to go to bed? So should I take one? And that just kept happening. And then I went to Australia in November 2025. I had been chasing them for ages and said, I'm gonna be away for nearly a month, I need a certain amount, and Christmas is coming, so I don't want to have to be like landing back in the UK and then on the phone to you, and it takes them like two weeks to send them out anyway. Um, so they said they had six weeks' notice, and the medication turned up the day I left. So I was on my way up to Heathrow and they arrived when I was at the airport. So I ended up going to Australia with a very, very minimal dosage, and this was interesting because I had to kind of ration them out. So I was still

First Weeks On Elvanse Felt Surreal

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taking the meds, but I was living my best life in Australia. Um, I was up at like five o'clock in the morning with the sun, I was in my business mastermind. So I was just I was loving life out there, but I was also noticing I was forgetting things, I was running late. There was more of that like rushy panic that was still going on. So they they clearly are doing something for me because that was probably me at my absolute best because I'm very, very affected by the weather. I feel a lot better when it's warm and sunny. Um, and also coming back home. Oh my god, those few weeks after I came back from Australia were some of the hardest in my life, I think. Having gone from somewhere that in my head is like home, somewhere I want to live, and coming back, going from somewhere so warm and so lovely, and just yeah, somewhere that I I really, really enjoyed, and then coming back to a home that I'm not really settled in, that we moved in in August, and I've never I hadn't really kind of put roots down there a couple of weeks before Christmas. So obviously, there's a lot going on with Christmas, and the sudden there's just the shock from it, wasn't jet lag because I used Time Shifter app, so I didn't have any jet lag, thank God. Um, really recommend that app if you are doing any long haul travelling. But I just think the shock from going from somewhere warm, somewhere sunny, back into a British cold, grey, short day winter was just too much. I was I was just I was I was happy to come home and see my husband, but just couldn't stop crying and just felt really depressed. And that was when I could really see, and I think it was my looty all week as well. So, you know, a massive pile of shit handed to me in one week. It was just too much on my system. So I can see how having a base level of those meds in my system have helped with the emotional regulation because it's when I get into one of those situations and I just spiral that I'm like, oh my god, the weather's really bad, and then I'm not eating properly, and then however much I try and regulate, just the thoughts I'm you know, I'm just going into that kind of dorsal spiral and just want to shut the world out or like run away. So they're they are helping with emotional regulation, but I'm gonna caveat that and say, and I've actually found this on the piece of paper that comes with the current medication I'm on, which is xenadate, which is a methylphenidate prolonged release. And I've seen this on all of the pieces of paper that come with the medication that the prescribers just don't seem to mention. This medicine is given as part of a treatment program, which usually includes psychological therapy, educational therapy, social therapy. So essentially ADHD coaching. Now, how many people have been prescribed ADHD meds and just see them as a magic pill? That they're gonna fix all of your problems and you don't need to do anything else, just take the medication and carry on, and they'll fix everything. No, no. So if you are one of those people, I'm sorry, it does not work like that. I think these have worked well for me, but they also haven't fixed everything, partly because I I'm not a problem to fix, but because one of the main reasons I wanted to try these was to build up those better routines, better habits, having a stronger system. That if I then came away from the meds, I've already got that kind of baseline, that muscle memory as such. The habits are there, the routines are there, the trust is there. That if I can lean back and not have the meds as much or like a lower dosage, things are okay. Now, if you haven't done any kind of coaching, you've got no regulation tools in place, you've got no routines in place, nothing, and you're like, fuck, I'm overwhelmed, like everything's chaotic, I've got a whole load of trauma. Give me these pills, they'll make everything better. No, what they're gonna do, most likely, is to just exacerbate hyper focus because they do help you focus. But do you have the consciousness and the intentionality in there to say, okay, I'm taking these, I'm gonna focus on diet and exercise, which is what I did. Lost two and a half stone. I'm gonna focus on a better morning routine. How can I help this to regulate me as best I can and pick up those regulation techniques and strategies so you're not waiting until things are too much before you do something about it. That's what they're really good for. If you are just saying, I'm gonna take these and see what happens, what can happen is then you just hyperfocus and you go down on a side quest for the entire day. You spend five hours on Instagram because they help you focus. So if something's interesting, there you are, you know, three hours later looking at someone Henry VIII married because that was where the rabbit hole took you, because they help you focus. Whereas unmedicated ADHD, you might

Side Effects Across Cycles And Dose

SPEAKER_00 36:40

be halfway into Wikipedia, and then your phone pings, and then you go off and answer a message, and then you're like, Oh, what was I doing? Okay, come back because there's a distraction there that's already kind of pulled you out of something. They kind of stop you getting distracted and pulled out yourself. But if you're like this is interesting, off I go, then off you go. And I have worked with quite a few clients who are on medication, but they they haven't dealt with the trauma, they haven't learned about how to regulate themselves, they haven't got any of these tools and and strategies in place, and that's why they come to see me. And then we kind of find a nice balance between okay, let's see how the how the medication can help you to build these things up. Because if life is just feeling too much, the meds can be really helpful to just take the edge off a little bit, build up those strategies and techniques. So a little bit about what ADHD meds do. And again, I'm not an expert in the prescription element of this, but I'll give you a basic information, a basic breakdown. Now, there are two main categories of ADHD meds, there are stimulants and non-stimulants. I've only been on stimulants, they tend to prescribe you stimulants first of all, because they are instant. So you can either get an instant release, which is literally you take it and I don't know, 10, 20 minutes later it kicks in, and then you can get prolonged release, which are you take them, they kick in after, I don't know, half an hour-ish, and then they wear off within about eight to twelve hours, depending on which ones you you take. Now the non-stimulants are slower to build up, so they're a little bit like um SSRIs, like antidepressants, that you'll take them and you're not going to see the effects for a few weeks. So it can be a lot harder to track, especially if you're looking at how it affects you in your cycles. Is that just a bad week? Do I need a little bit more? How do you play that? So I can't say anything about non-stimulants, I haven't tried them. Um, I would probably prefer to be on something like that, but equally, I feel like that I have more control with the stimulants. So, like I've said previously, if I'm ovulating and I'm like, I actually feel pretty good. Like my brain is is working at its most functional. I'm either gonna have a very low dosage or maybe I'll just skip a couple of days. Now, ADHD is not a dopamine deficiency, same as when those of us who've been diagnosed with depression and they say, Oh, it's just a lack of serotonin and we'll give you these SSRIs. Why is that? Like our brains, there's more to it than just we're deficient in a chemical and these meds will give you the chemical. Why are we deficient in them? Why are they not working as efficiently as they should be? And this could be a whole other episode, so I'm not even gonna go into that. But just plant that seed, go and do some research. You're not necessarily just deficient in something. There's trauma involved, we all have different brain types. We are in a capitalistic society that expects a lot of us, especially women, our brains aren't broken, they're not just not doing something, most of the time, they are reacting in a healthy, protective way in response to what's going on around us. Now, how many of us get enough daylight every day? How many of us are eating a properly nutritious, balanced, healthy diet? How are our stress levels? All of that. If we're not living like that and like no one's perfect, I definitely am not somebody that has all of their shit sorted, and they're all going to affect what's going on with us hormonally, what's going on in our brain chemistry, what's going on in our nervous system as well, what we've been through. There's so much more to it than just you're deficient in something. So this will make it better. But essentially, an ADHD brain is less efficient at using dopamine. So, what dopamine we do have, we can either burn through pretty quickly. So, this is why having a healthy morning routine is one of the best things you can actually do. So you're not spiking your dopamine levels really high, and

Raynaud’s Risks And Switching Meds

SPEAKER_00 41:10

then you have a really big drop, and then you're chasing another high, and then you kind of go on this roller coaster all day, every day. If you can build up slow dopamine, so just things like movement in the morning, getting out into some sunlight, even reading a book is gonna be a lot better for your dopamine slow, gentle buildup than getting your phone out straight away, or starting the day with like a coffee or like a sugary drink or sugary breakfast, that kind of thing, because you're just gonna end up bouncing on this roller coaster all day. And then there are a couple of pathways in the brain where dopamine directly affects. So, one is the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for executive functioning, which is things like working memory. So, can you hold that information? What was the phone number? Can I copy this from there to there? Inhibition. So, what's what impulses do we want to just blurt something out? Um, cognitive flexibility, so actually being able to switch tasks and adapt to what's going on in front of us. Um, planning, time awareness, organization, and emotional regulation as well. There's a few more in there, but dopamine affects that prefrontal cortex, the executive functioning, and it also affects the reward system in the brain, which is also responsible for motivation. We need a certain amount of dopamine to give us a get up and go. It gives it gives us a kick up the ass. We would not get up and out of bed if it wasn't for dopamine and our sympathetic nervous system. It is the ability to feel rewarded for doing something, especially boring stuff as well. And one of the crazy things I love about being put on stimulants is the fact that they actually calm you down. So I do wonder what would happen if you gave them to a neurotypical person if they are bouncing off the walls or if it chills them out. Because I think that's how you know if you've got ADHD, is you can give us stimulants and we chill out. Things get slower, calmer, we are just more relaxed, which is mad because it's a stimulant. So some of the worries that I had before taking medication was probably the biggest one was will it kind of dim my light? Will it take away the sparkle of who I am? Will I just become really like flat and boring? But because part of me is a little bit chaotic and a little bit like, oh, I've got this idea and I'm gonna go do this. And you know, there is that like vibrancy to who to me. And I was worried if that would just get taken away and I'd just be, yeah, boring. And I don't think any of that is true. Like, I'm still me. The ADHD is definitely still there, but it's also something I I kind of love. I mean, I'm recording this episode right now, it's half past four on Friday. This episode. Drops on Monday. So the um leaving it to the last minute, needing the motivation, needing a deadline right in your face, it's still there to some degree. Um, I just don't run my entire life on that. The reason I'm recording this now is because it's been my lotial week this week and my energy's just been quite low. So I've been waiting until I feel a bit better before doing this. Instead of cramming my schedule so full that I'm like, oh, I've only got an hour window at 10 o'clock on a Wednesday, I have

Australia Without Enough Tablets

SPEAKER_00 44:30

to record then. I can tune into my body and be like, actually, yes, it's last minute, but I feel good enough to record a podcast today. Whereas if you caught me a couple of days ago, you would have got a much different version of me. So that was when I was doing the bare minimum, which is also partly why I love running my business because I plan things. So in my loot or week, I can, if I'm feeling all right, I'll come to work, I'll be a bit more productive. But I've also got the space in there knowing if I do wake up feeling a bit more tired or the energy is not there, I had quite a brutal PT session on Tuesday, and I was just like, I can't walk, my glutes just hurt too much. So just gonna chill. Another worry that I had was obviously with the work that I do. So being a somatic ADHD business coach, someone who talks about the nervous system day in, day out, who really champions regulation. Am I being a hypocrite? Am I am I being a fraud by being on medication? If I'm out there saying I'm regulated, I've got my shit sorted, and this is all you need to do is just regulate your nervous system, and that's it, that's the answer to everything. Am I gonna seem like a fraud? And probably if I approach things from that angle, yeah. This is why I'm sharing this episode with you, because I don't have my shit sorted, no one does. But uh it's just been me experimenting and getting curious with what did these do? Partly I wanted to take them because clients were asking asking me about them, and I wanted to know what it felt like because I I, as best I can, want to share from my own knowledge and my own experience. I don't want to say I'm an expert in something I haven't necessarily been through. So I don't think ADHD meds are the answer. I don't think just nervous system regulation is the answer. I think in the world that we live in, we we need a bit of both. But also, it's your choice. I'm not here saying you should go on medication. I'm sharing my experience and bear in mind the last 20 months, we have also got married twice, we've moved house twice, I've done a lot of traveling, there's been a lot of upheaval in life. It's not been the most easy few months. It's been a pretty stressful, happy, but quite stressful couple of years. I think they've probably also helped me get through the last, you know, 20 months of of stress because despite getting married twice last year, moving house twice last year, I think I went to 11 countries last year. I also managed to increase my income by 70% in 2025, despite it being a full-on crazy year. So I changed a lot of strategies in my business, but I think these have just been a little bit of a, they've kind of had my back a little bit, whilst life has been a lot. So my advice to you is don't be afraid of them, but they're also not a magic pill. They're not gonna fix everything if you don't also have a good business strategy, if you don't have good regulation tools in place, if you haven't gone anywhere near any trauma that you've you know that you have. They're not just gonna fix everything and make things go away. And another worry that I have that you might also have is about dependency on them and how long you're gonna be on them for. So I've been on them for about 20 months. I initially said I'm gonna probably give it three months and see how I get on. I think it's only now, I've probably the last two or three months, I've found some stability in the dosage that I'm taking. I think the max dose for xenadate that I'm on now is I think 72 milligrams. I take 18 a day, which I think is their starting dose. So in my luteal week, I tend to have a 36 milligram for maybe a couple of days. But I have also noticed this week, like I mentioned, I've been feeling a bit more tired. And I've also had a headache the last few days. Now, I don't know if that's linked to me obviously doubling the dose for a few days or if that is a cycle thing. Because I don't really tend to get headaches. Um, that might just be my body saying you need a bit of a break. I'm I'm not sure. So honestly, I don't know how long I'm gonna be on these for. It's it's gonna depend on what else is going on in life. Things still don't feel fully at ease and settled. I don't know if life ever will, but for now, I'm gonna keep taking them and just keep checking in with myself and notice when if I start to feel like they're not doing anything anymore. Um, I think actually changing the dosage throughout my cycle helps me to not get used to high dose because I can really feel the effects of a little bit more. It is helping me get through those shitty looty all days. So, watch this space. I might give you an update in a

Medication Helps But Never Fixes Everything

SPEAKER_00 49:40

year's time and see how things are. But I was talking to a client about this a couple of weeks ago who she's going through um a house move as well, and she's been off sick for a while. Like there's a lot going on, and she was a little bit like, I don't want to take them because I don't want to feel dependent on them. And she was just feeling really, really stressed out, bless her, because life was just getting too much on her. And then the next call we had, she'd taken them for a week, and she was just like, Oh my god, all of a sudden, that to-do list doesn't send me into a spiral. Yes, there's a lot going on in life, but I don't feel so stressed out. So she said, we kind of, you know, I coached her through this. How about they're used as a bit of a crutch sometimes when life gets a bit harder? That's okay. So, as I say with everything, listen to your intuition, listen to your body, you know what is best for you, and just be kind to yourself, be self-compassionate, be open with all of this stuff. You know, you don't have to justify this to anybody. It's your choice, it's your body. Do your research. I assume if you're listening to this episode, this is part of it. This is just my personal journey, my story, my opinions. But look into it, make your own decision. Don't let anyone push you into a corner of you should do this, you shouldn't do that. They're not the only answer, but they are also helpful. So I hope this episode has been helpful for you. If you've got any questions on this, either leave a comment in Spotify or Apple or wherever you're listening, or my DMs are also open on Instagram. So if you've got any questions or if this has been helpful, come and let me know. And then I will see you in the next episode. Thank you so much for being here and listening to this episode. If something landed for you, I'd massively appreciate you leaving a five-star review or share this episode with someone who would really benefit from it. Your support helps this podcast reach more sensitive neurodivergent business owners who are ready to do things differently and increase your impact with more regulation, more ease, and less burnout. I appreciate you being here, and I'll see you in the next episode.