The Profit Builder Unscripted

Best Of: Expectations vs Agreements: A Leadership Lessonisode

• Vicki Suiter

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Most team problems don’t start with bad attitudes.

They start with unclear agreements — and assumptions about follow-through.

In this episode, I break down why expectations create frustration and why clear agreements create ownership.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why a request is not the same thing as an agreement
  • How unclear deadlines create breakdowns
  • The difference between expectations and real commitment
  • How SMART agreements drive consistency
  • A simple way to confirm “who” and “by when”

Simple takeaway:
If you want follow-through, don’t assume agreement — confirm it.

Watch the video: https://youtu.be/PYTy1kZdQtw

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If you love listening to this podcast, please leave a review in Apple Podcasts.


Welcome back to another episode of the Profit Builder Unscripted. Today we're talking about how do you get people to follow through and keep their agreements and do what they say they're going to do. All right, let's jump in. Have you ever had the experience where you ask somebody to do something on your team and then they didn't do it? They didn't follow through and you were disappointed or upset?

Yeah, you probably said yes, we've all had that experience at some point in their lives. And you know, last week I had this experience with somebody on my team and I just felt compelled to share with you my like aha moment about what I remembered about why that happens and what I remembered about how to not have that happen again in the future. So I'll tell you the story. The situation was somebody on my team that I had.

I had asked to do something a while ago and then there was, they didn't do it. And then it came up close to the deadline last week and I sent an email on Monday and I was like, this really needs to be get done by Wednesday. Please make sure that it gets done. Wednesday came, Wednesday went, it didn't get done. And it finally did get done by the end of the week. But it was like, there was just this like kind of angst about it. I didn't want to chase after her.

But then, I started to look at it. We were about to meet on that following Monday. And I started to think about, all right, what's the source of this breakdown? What happened that, and this is somebody that, this isn't somebody who's flaky. This is somebody who I trust. so it especially, and I usually can really count on the follow through, do what they say they're gonna do. So it really struck me that, ⁓

that this breakdown had happened. And I asked myself the question, thankfully, before I got on that phone call, because we get a little miffed when people don't do what they say they're going to do. But that was the trick. That was the key right there. I thought because I made a request, it meant that she made an agreement. And this is what I remembered. I didn't actually have an agreement.

I made a request and I said, would you get this done by this date? It was on the list of projects, but it didn't have a by when date. So she never broke an agreement with me because she never actually made an agreement with me in the first place. Now you may be listening to this and you might be thinking, well, that's just crazy. We can't like get people, don't need like, should we have people always make agreements about everything that they're supposed to do when they work for us? We pay them a paycheck. That's what they get paid for.

Yes and no. ⁓ here's the, know, many years ago, I listened to this podcast by a gentleman, very well known, well respected coach by the name of Steve Chandler. And the title of this podcast was Expectations versus Agreements. And how do we start to function in our relationships with other people and particularly people on our team from a place of actually getting agreement versus expectations. Now,

If I asked you, you like it when people expect things of you, you would probably say, no, no, no, none of us do. Like we would much prefer somebody actually make a request of us. But when it comes to our employees, we think, well, you get paid to do a job. I pay you, you do what I tell you to do. And here's the problem though, is that when we have agreements, we're much more likely to actually follow through. And I'm gonna talk in a second about how do you make agreements that are more likely to get follow through. But ⁓ when they're kind of open-ended, when there are veiled demands, we think we make agreements, right? Because we say, well, you do something and we think that's an agreement. Or everybody's sitting in a meeting and says, well, I'm gonna do this or I'm gonna do that. We think it's an agreement.

But it's not really agreement until somebody, until we actually have an exchange with somebody that sounds something like this. So in the example of this person on my team, what would have been much more useful when we originally set the deadline date. And it wasn't originally something that was urgent until it was, but I did not have a specific agreement. It was just sort of on this list of things to do. And what happens when we have a list of things to do without a deadline, then they tend to not get done in the timeframe that we think they should get done or sometimes not at all. But the thing I realized with her was that I didn't stop and say, especially when I saw there was a problem that last week, I didn't stop and say, hey, can we just chat for a minute?

I really need this done by Wednesday. Are you willing to get this done by Wednesday? Can you get this done by Wednesday or how can you get this done by Wednesday? Are you willing to do that? Whatever those words are. I didn't do that. I just flung an email that said, hey, I really need this done by Wednesday. And then it didn't happen because I didn't have an agreement. And again, I know like you're probably thinking, gosh, like it's employee and we should have an agreement that if I pay you and I ask you to do something, you do it. But if you want people to follow through and you want people to do things more consistently, then making agreements that are specific and explicit are much more likely to get you the results that you're looking for. So it reminded me of this, there's this term and maybe you've heard this term of smart agreements. So smart agreements are, they're specific, they're measurable.

There's clear accountability, it's realistic, and it's time driven. So let me talk about each of those. So specific meaning, in my example of I needed dates updated in our program portal. And that was specific. was a specific what? ⁓ Measurable, I would have known it got done because it was. ⁓ you know, it would have been updated in the portal that was measurable either got done or it didn't. ⁓ It's ⁓ agreed upon. So this is where this was the missing piece. I didn't have an agreed upon ⁓ agreement about it getting done by a specific time. So I got an agreement she would do it, right?

And then realistic, the timeframe was realistic, Unrealistic expectations or agreements are, you you ask somebody to follow up on a change order and they say, yeah, I'll do that tomorrow. And you're like, no, you're to be out tomorrow. I know that's not going to happen. So that's not realistic, right? So is it realistic? Do you really think that person can do that? And then really key, this is the last one. This was the thing that was missing for me was time-driven.

Like I did not get a specific agreement about when that was actually going to get done. So without, know, what I know in my experience, and I've seen this over and over again with people and leaders that I work with. And certainly my experience in my life is that when I get agreements that are specific, measurable, there's clear accountability and they're agreed upon, they're realistic and they're time-driven.

I am much more likely to get the results that I actually am requesting. And I'll give you another example. This is a classic one that happens. You're in the middle of a meeting and ⁓ everybody like says, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that. Or a couple of people, you know, jump in and they say, well, we'll take care of that. I love that term. We'll take care of that. What does that mean? So like getting specific at that point, what is taking care of it mean?

If it's this really big chunk of something that you know that ⁓ they're not gonna be able to get that whole thing done or it's not specific enough, you chunk it down so that it's a little bit smaller piece. What does taking care of it look like? Well, the first piece, let's say it's a change order, right? I'm gonna take care of that change order. So is the first piece that you're gonna write it up and send it to the client? Is taking care of it mean I got the change order done, but I don't have a signature, I need to go get a signature?

Is taking care of it, like what is taking care of it? Is it specific? Measurable, it's gotta be measurable by you and by them. The more specific and measurable it is, the more you are setting that person up to win and you don't have to be in a fog about, well, I thought this and you thought that, right? So it gets us on the same page about what does that actually mean to get something done? And then, let's say you have three people on your team who say they're gonna do something. The A is, these are clear accountability, right? You go, well, who's gonna take ownership of that? Who's gonna make sure that that thing gets done that the three of you are gonna work on? Really important. Realistic, again, realistic is they say, well, we're gonna have it done by tomorrow. And you're like, I don't think that's possible. Let's rethink this. You have other things going on. Are you not gonna be here or whatever, right? but be willing to stop and question that. And then of course, time-driven takes all the difference in the world about those agreements that we make. And so one of the things that is a practice that I have that I didn't do when I was in this meeting with this person on my team that I remembered that I will do, which is at the end of every meeting, we capture like what everybody's agreed to do.

Right, key deliverables, the what. And then we capture the who and the by when. So who's gonna do it and by when are they gonna do it? And again, I try to be super mindful of is it specific, is it measurable? So what I find is when I and I see other people manage meetings like this and make requests to people like this that there's a much greater likelihood of actually people following through and doing what they say they're gonna do, keeping their agreements. And I make it a habit of, and I'll tell you, this takes a little bit of extra time at the end of a meeting where ⁓ I have to stop and go, okay, just so that we're all on the same page, here's what I said, here's what I heard you said, and here's when I heard.

You said you were gonna do that by, or this isn't a pressure question, but when do you think that you'll have that done so that you and I are on the same page about when that will get done? I tell you what, I do this with clients. I do this with my team. I've had people, I remember, I'll never forget, I had a designer, a senior designer, I was teaching this workshop on this with a company, and the senior designer said, I don't think it's gonna work.

I deal with clients all the time and they're so indecisive. having a hard time getting them to make decisions. I don't think I can do this. I said, well, just try it. Try the whole thing of getting, like making sure it's a smart agreement, specific, measurable, clear accountability, realistic and time-driven. And then ask her just at the end of when you've confirmed all that, say, is that acceptable to you? Does that work for you? Can you have that done by then? Will you have that done by then?

And he was like, I'll try it, but I don't think it's going to work. He called me three days later. He goes, my gosh. He said, the next day I did that. I had this deadline with this client that I really wanted. I've been trying to get her to make a decision about this thing. And I used that strategy and I made a smart agreement and she did it. She followed through. So he said, you've made me a convert.

Just try it, right? See if it works. I'm actually also dropping a link below to the recording by Steve called Expectations Versus Agreements. It's about a 30 minute podcast. I've listened to this podcast dozens of times. I have to tell you, I get something different out of it every time. I've gotten stuff out of it as it relates to my relationship and my communication with my husband, my kids, my team, my clients.

I just find that there's always something for me to learn in terms of how do I build better communication in my relationships with all the people in my life. So you might find it to be helpful. ⁓ The first time I listened to it, it was during a very challenging moment with one of my kids. And I was like, ⁓ this is so great. it...and I totally applied that strategy and I got her to start having this different behavior. Also, I got to notice how I was operating out of expectation with her that was not useful. So listen to it. Like I said, I share this recording with so many people. ⁓ I think a lot of Steve Chandler, he's a great coach and I just think his message is just so spot on and.

And I hear stories as recently as yesterday from a client who applied it and went, wow, it really made a difference in the communication they had with a foreman on their team. So give it a shot. And I hope this has been helpful to you. And I look forward to seeing you next time on the Profit Builder on Scripted.


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Vicki Suiter

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