01 - Living My New Norm After Surviving Breast Cancer
Walking is something many of us do without thinking, how walking can promote and even lower our risk of breast cancer so, get out there and walk and take of advantage of walking and the health benefits it offers.
01 - Living My New Norm After Surviving Breast Cancer
Strengthened Bond Through Breast Cancer
What happens when a mother's fight against breast cancer transforms her relationship with her son? Join us as we share the incredible journey of Sherry and her son, Steven, whose bond was profoundly changed by a breast cancer diagnosis. Through the lens of their shared love for sci-fi classics like Star Wars and Star Trek, they reveal how they navigated the emotional and physical toll of the disease. Steven's role shifted dramatically, becoming the primary contact for medical updates and shouldering new responsibilities. Hear Steven's candid thoughts on managing these challenges, the impact on his daily life, and the unparalleled support he received from his workplace.
In a heartfelt discussion, Sherry and Steven open up about the ongoing medication and recovery process, painting a vivid picture of their enduring mother-son bond. Sherry expresses her deep gratitude for Steven's unwavering support, from handling the painful side effects to managing household tasks. Balancing his college studies in Baking and Pastry Arts with caregiving, Steven showcases remarkable dedication and strength. Together, they reflect on the importance of family support during health struggles and share their optimistic outlook for the future. This episode is a testament to resilience, love, and the incredible power of familial bonds.
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Hi, my name is Sherry and welcome to my podcast Silver T, and today my podcast is about relationships and I want to talk about my relationship with my son and how it was affected when I was first diagnosed with Breast cancer. So I would like for everyone to meet Steven.
Speaker 2:Hello guys.
Speaker 1:Stephen. Hello guys. And so me and Stephen, we're going to talk about our new norm of how our relationship is right now, today, and how different it is since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. So, stephen, I have questions for Stephen. I first want to start off with I find that me and Steven have the same interest with things, that I'm a sci-fi buff. I just want to say this I'm a sci-fi buff and Steven and I have some of the same sci-fi.
Speaker 2:The love for sci-fi is like uh, we have a lot of the same interest in sci-fi. So basically, like star wars, star trek, doctor who, uh, a lot of the marvel stuff yeah.
Speaker 1:So we're gonna talk about that afterwards. Like what, how we bonded as as we were going through this process, that kind of made it. We just started doing movies together and enjoying each other's company. So I want to talk about some of the some one of the things that I noticed.
Speaker 1:I felt like, oh, as me and steven age, I get older and steven gets older, it seems like our roles kind of change a little bit. I feel like I I become the child and he becomes the parent. So but in this, in this situation, steven actually had to step up his game and and when I say that is when I first told him about the diagnosis, I also made him the. The person that was responsible for the one that the doctors would report to after my surgery. It was steven.
Speaker 1:So I wanted him to be in that role because he's he's growing up, he's a grown man and I know it was a hard decision because I had other people to ask for help in that situation. But I actually chose Stephen because I felt we are close and we do a lot of stuff together. So I felt that our bond was strong enough for me to ask him to be the main contact primary that the doctors were going to be dealing with while I was going through my surgery. So, steven, let me ask you do you feel like has our roles changed and a hard task on being the primary and and the doctors reporting to you and giving you all the information after and during my surgery?
Speaker 2:uh, no, I didn't really feel like it was a hard. It was hard, but I didn't feel like it was a lot more like, okay, I gotta actually pay attention, because I usually kind of just look at things and I'll remember it, but then I'm really won't do anything with it. But now I'm like, okay, I actually gotta take care of my mom. And yeah, I actually gotta take care of my mom. And uh, it was very much a growing pain I had to deal with, I should say yeah.
Speaker 1:So I mean, did it affect you on your job? Like when you had to go and talk to your job about it? I remember you telling me how emotional it was to even have to tell them about it, cause Steven is a very like myself, he's a very quiet person, he doesn't really talk that much. So he had he besides me, he needed someone else to talk to and so, uh, he went to work and he talked to people at work. And how was I know you had some good support there how was your support at work when you had to ask?
Speaker 2:them. Well, yeah, my support at work was great. Uh, the manager at the time gave me basically all the time off I needed to take care of you during the surgery. I had like two weeks off plus an extra week he gave me, and then I went back to work. No, you gave your Friday off, yeah, yeah, and then I had every Friday off, maybe about six or seven months after your surgery for your chemo uh treatments yeah, that was, that was great yeah yeah, so I, I, I want to.
Speaker 1:I want to touch on that because, steven, when I say he stepped up his game, he stepped up his game when he said he had to pay attention. And I, and I want to say he's used to me being in charge of everything, so when he had to pay attention, it was like, oh, smack, I'm being treated like an adult right now. Somebody help me. But no, he didn't even say that he was ready. He was ready to pick me up from the hospital. He was ready to drive me. He wouldn't let anybody come to the hospital to drive me home, and he didn't even want anybody in the car because he said you know, I, I got this, I'm getting ready to go pick up my mom. I don't need anybody come with me, I'm a grown man. I got no grandma. No, no, we don't. I don't know, I got this. So he actually was, and I was a little nervous because he was a still new driver too.
Speaker 1:He was a new driver and he was driving my new car. Okay so, but he did a good job, he. He came and he picked me up. So, steven, let me, let me ask you a question do you feel that, now that we're past all the chemo, past all the radiation, do you feel that our bond has strengthened or do you feel that it weakened our bond after this whole thing? This?
Speaker 2:whole journey. I think it strengthened our bond because I very much had to take care of you, which was not new to me because I'm an only child. So I all I did was just, yeah, learn from you and then how to take care, yeah, yeah, how to take care of you, because. So that's what I basically did and I think it strengthened our bond, because, because I was just with you 24-7.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree with Steven. I really feel that Ari Bond has strengthened over it and I won't say at any time that it weakened it. I was actually kind of concerned that I was going to put too much pressure on him to take this role, but what he did was he came out so strong and he actually surprised me. He had to do things that a son really it was hard for a son. He had to take care of my wounds. He had to see about me when I had all the, when I first had my breasts wrapped because I had breast reconstruction done. He had to see about all that and he was there. He was ready to Look what do you need next? That's what he was. He was who our bond did strengthen and is stronger to this very day. And that's why I was asking him about movies, because me and steven really started, started really spending time on realizing we like a lot of the same sci-fi movies.
Speaker 1:Doctor who was like totally one of the ones I wouldn't expect him to like. Right, he watched the old doctor who's in any any doctor who fans. They know I'm talking about we, we there, we got that. So we, we would like schedule time to watch those doctor who movies. He, he actually made sure I had my medicine. He, he picked up my medicine. He told me he was so supportive. He said hey, mom, you need me to, I'm ready to go. The doctor needs you to pick up something, day and night, I'm ready to go get it. Whatever you would you, whatever you need me to do, he was ready to do it.
Speaker 1:So I I feel that our relationship with support, our relationship, our bond relationship has gotten stronger and we just bonded over the tiny things, the small things that are the ones that really makes the difference. It's the small things. So, um, and we know, communication with our, our children is, it's just something. It's difficult because they love having their face in the phone. So I want to say to I want to ask, steven, like, how do you feel about communication? Do you think our communications changed since the diagnosis? Do we? Do we communicate better? Do it? It's almost feel like we read each other minds. Now, like you almost know when I'm in distress, how do you feel about our communications? It's almost like we can, like telepathically, talk to each other oh, I definitely know when you're in distress.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't say it's more silly Mind reading for me, it's more of a feeling I can feel when you're in distress. Yeah, for me anyway, yeah.
Speaker 1:Like, what are some of the things that you know about me when you can tell, is it my behavior or do I just? I'm not a person that likes to ask for help too much. I like to. I'm one of those stubborn people that you know. You got a broken leg and you're trying to get to somewhere important and somebody's going to say can I help you carry that and knowing I need help, I say no. So I'm one of those people. So I don't. I don't like to ask for help too much. So, steven, I do. I do ask you for help sometimes, but a lot of times steven would just say mom, I was right here, why didn't you just ask me? But now he kind of knows like I'm trying to do something. So I I think I mean what do you think? You think that you got better at reading, reading me and my emotions?
Speaker 2:yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1:I like to think I got better at reading your emotions your statement is uh, I want to talk about the emotional support. Um, steven, do you feel that you got enough emotional support during this process?
Speaker 2:uh, yeah, I think I got him. I think I had enough of emotional support. I had, you know, the whole family here constantly, so it was pretty easy to throw them out yeah, he's constantly over here. I was like, dang he over here again today.
Speaker 1:I just saw you yesterday an hour ago, like geez yeah, so, yeah, we did. So we did get some really good emotional support and, um, and I think me and steven, we we bonded, we got closer and we're still growing. We really we're still growing. We try to do things together, like go for a walk, because he was willing to go for a walk with me. Uh, just try to help with.
Speaker 1:If you watch one of my walking the walking podcast I talked about how I lost a lot of my mobility. I was walking with a walking stick or it was just hard for me to get around and move. So, steven, I was, I wanted to go walking. So I was asking him could he go with me? Because he he was, he was my support and then he was my encouragement so he was ready to go. When I asked him, he was just like let's, let's do this. He was ready to do it. So, steven, um, because when I talked about that, I talked about because I want to say do you feel like today, that I do ask you to do a lot of daily tasks around the house? And and, um, do you feel like that has a part of our relationship, that has strengthened that relationship? Because you do a lot? I mean you do a lot. I was to the point where Steven was cooking my food. Yeah and um.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I did do, I still do a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how does it? Is it stressful to own that relationship?
Speaker 2:it can be stressful, but you just really got to take your time with it.
Speaker 1:In all honesty, yeah, like anything yeah, yeah, he's right, absolutely, you gotta. You gotta take your time, and I try not to call him too much that. This is why I don't ask him for a lot of help, because I feel that steven does enough. I feel that I call him enough times to help me when I have this medication that I'm on I need a lot of help with. Sometimes I get these charlie horses and I get a charlie horse in my leg and I can't stand up and it's so painful. I gotta call steven in to to help me. Go get some ice. I found I don't know if anybody noticed Well, for me I put ice on a Charlie horse, especially when it's in your mid thigh and it feels like your whole entire thigh Trying to roll over. So I'll be Stephen, I need ice. So he'll come, he'll bring the ice, stephen. I just think he's. He's stronger than I realize. That's what I think about you. I think you're stronger and he does.
Speaker 1:He does help me a lot when it comes down to the medicine part, because that medicine sometimes I'm just totally exhausted, sometimes halfway through the day and I have to ask him to help. I'll be in the middle of doing something and I will abandon and go lie down in my bed. Just go lay down. And I asked him to finish up whatever I was doing. He jumps right in Because I don't know. I just lost all my energy and my strength and I would just go and rest so I can. But he'll come in and say Mom, what's going on in the kitchen? I said, oh, my goodness, stephen. I said I couldn't go no more and I'm a busy body. So what do you think about me being a busy body?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. She's always been like that, ever since I was little. She can't stop.
Speaker 1:I'm like really, Mom Can you just sit down for five minutes.
Speaker 1:I do the work with like ten people, I'll be running four or five things at one time and, and I feel bad when I gotta say, steven, can you, can you do this, this and this? And it's like, oh my god, what were you doing? I'm just a busy person. I I'm not, I'm not really a social person, but I don't like idle hands. So I give myself a thousand projects and, steven, if I'm doing them, I try to slow down because I know it's not fair to Steven to ask him to help me with these thousand projects I just put on myself. Help me with these thousand products I just put on myself. And so I did slow down a little bit so he could only have Maybe, just maybe, a hundred Instead of a thousand. But I just want to say Anybody that's out there and they have a son, or only son, and the relationship and the relationship With their son, I think as a mother having this diagnosis, that lean on your son you'll be surprised how strong they are through the prayer and blessings, me and Steven has made it this far and we still got a long way to go. And so I really want to say, please, please, just lean on your own family because there's nothing.
Speaker 1:Steven is a co-survivor of breast cancer and he still has a lot going on, because taking this medicine for 10 years is it still leaves me, um, with a lot of a lot of um. Let me try to what I'm trying to say. It's still, I still need a lot of help with things, even though I'm over to, thank god, I'm breast breast, I'm cancer free, but I still need a lot of help with things. So he's, he's the nurse, a lot of help with things. So he's, he's the nurse, he's the driver. He takes me to my appointments. He sees about me at nighttime when, when I I'm coughing or or not feeling well, and he, he, he takes care of all the doctor stuff. I mean, I don't think I got him with the doctor stuff too much.
Speaker 2:He just tells me to call the doctor, but yeah he don't call a doctor, I just make sure she calls. I'm not about to call. Yeah but I think you would have if you had to yeah, if I had to, if I didn't have a choice, yeah, yeah, but for being that I have a choice. I know you're well and able to call.
Speaker 1:I just got a reminder to do it yeah, because I'll be getting like oh yeah, I got caught with the other stuff I forgot to call. So in the end, Stephen, I just want to thank you for your help. I want to thank you for being my son. God has blessed me with a wonderful son like you. And, for those who don't know, Stephen is a college student. He goes to school for a chef. What did he go to school for? Baking and Pastry Arts. Baking and Pastry Arts he made some delicious cookies, just yesterday Was it yesterday.
Speaker 1:No, it was day four yesterday, two days ago.
Speaker 2:My bad Two days ago.
Speaker 1:And he makes this wonderful bread, but he hasn't made this bread in a long to make cookies in a long time.
Speaker 1:I decided to make cookies instead, I want some of that bread. Even though I probably don't need any of that bread, I like to have homemade bread. It's a lot healthier than store-bought with all the preservatives in it. So, um, steven, thank you again for being a wonderful son. I look forward to just whatever God has for our path moving forward. So until next time, if you like what you hear, please hit that subscribe button, that bell notification button and that like button. And if there's something you want to talk about, if you want to get more into, uh, my relationship with steve, with steven, just hey, put it down in the in the comment below. And, steven, is there anything you'd like to say before we close out this, uh, this interview podcast?
Speaker 2:uh, I love you, mom, I love you and, um, this was fun. Uh, I'd like to do it again, but we can talk more, you know, not about the emotional stuff, but just about, you know, some sci-fi, maybe some anime that I'm trying to get you to watch.
Speaker 1:Oh, I do like anime.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm trying to get her into more anime, but she won't do it I do watch a lot of anime I watch.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about that for a second. I I watched ang on the avatar love the avatar, yeah, the avatar check out steven. He has his water bender shirt on. Check out his water bender. Yeah, all y'all yeah yeah, and we always.
Speaker 1:And see, let me tell you, this is steven's age. I didn't watch the avatar wasn't around when I was little, so it's around now, but it wasn't around when I was young. So we, we watched that and we, we, we be getting that popcorn now. Okay, when the movie comes, we'll be saying, oh, we going to go ahead and make sure we schedule that day off from work or whatever we're doing and we're going to go to the movies. So, yeah, we do Our next interview together. It may be me being interviewed by Steven and see if I'm paying attention.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sure, okay.
Speaker 1:See if I'm paying attention to what I'm watching, because I love the big furry flying thing. What's that big furry flying thing? You mean oppa?
Speaker 2:oh yes, I love oppa she can never say the names, right.
Speaker 1:That's just like, yeah, I don't know why I yeah, I can't say their names. Right, oppa, all right, that's the oppa yeah, you said it right, katara.
Speaker 2:Yeah, katara, my girl, that's girl power right there.
Speaker 1:Tough, soccer, soccer. I love them all, I mean. So that is something me and steven we continue to bond over sci-fi with.
Speaker 2:Now anybody watch witcher yeah, just you know, you got a new one coming out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm sad they replaced henry Cavill, but yeah, I know, yeah, yeah, but they replaced him with uh.
Speaker 2:One of the um yeah, the um Hemsworth right yeah, the um Hemsworth brothers. One of them?
Speaker 1:yeah, I don't know who there's one that plays Thor, right, I think? I don't think so. I think it's the other one you think it's the other one?
Speaker 2:yeah, I think it's the other one. Oh, I think it's William, not Chris.
Speaker 1:Okay, so again, sci-fi stuff. We are going to have another interview and we're going to talk about sci-fi, because that's Steven's thing. He likes gaming, he likes sci-fi and he likes to harass me. So those are the things that we do together.
Speaker 2:Definitely harass for it.
Speaker 1:That brought this bond that we have even stronger. So if you want to talk about something I will tell you right now, please hit that subscribe button, that bell notification button and that like button. And until next time we please remember, ladies and gentlemen, early detection is the best detection. So please get your mammograms done and if you missed it, schedule for your mammogram. If you had it already, put it on your calendar for next year. So until next time, please have a nice cup of tea. That is wonderful. Bye, guys, bye.