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Journey of the Soul: Allan Knight's Path to Inner Freedom and Growth

• Michelle Kreft

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What if true fulfillment in life requires more than just spiritual enlightenment? Join us on this captivating episode of WhozYourMama as we explore the extraordinary journey of Allan Knight. From grappling with his mother's battle with cancer to experiencing a near-death incident that challenged his atheistic views, Allan's path is nothing short of transformative. Learn how his quest for inner freedom led him to a nine-year monastic life and eventually to a master's degree in counseling psychology, where he discovered the critical role of self-relationship in building meaningful connections with others.

Discover the profound experiences and challenges Allan faced while living as a Zen monk and his daring transition back into the material world. We'll discuss his passion for relationships, soulful communication, and the concept of soulmates, all of which fueled his groundbreaking work in the personal development and training world. Allan shares a compelling story about the power of intuition and how following his inner guidance led to the creation of unique training programs aimed at holistic personal and entrepreneurial growth.

By exploring Allan's nine-step Zen Activation Program (ZAP), you'll gain insights into the intricate process of surrendering negative thoughts and emotions through meditation. But that's just the beginning. Allan emphasizes the necessity of integrating emotional and psychological work into a holistic self-coaching system for true self-mastery. This episode is a powerful call to action, urging you to embrace the potential for a magical life, especially in these challenging times, and to take charge of your own transformative journey. Don't miss this inspiring conversation that promises to empower and enlighten.

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Michelle:

Welcome to who's you Mama, a podcast focusing on tomorrow's future, which are our kids, educators, teachers, parents, all encompassing with the goal of understanding that our brain is a muscle that we can exercise to control the speed in the direction that we want. Let's go, y'all. The time is now. Alan Knight, welcome to who's your Mama.

Allan:

Thank you so much, Michelle, for having me, and I look forward to our chat today.

Michelle:

Oh, it's a pleasure. Well, so let's go. Let's dive straight in. So you are known around the world for many reasons. So for those who are very familiar with you, who you are, your work, what you've done, what you're doing now, what you're continuing to do, and those that don't, and everything in between, I would like to pass it over to you to give us a brief background of that, so then we can follow you along in your journey.

Allan:

Well, very briefly, I'll keep it brief. When I was 13, my mother was diagnosed with cancer and told she had six months to live, and she ended up living for about 15 years. So my mother was my I guess my first role model of the power of the human spirit. When I was 19, I was taking a bachelor in psychology and I knew intuitively that I wanted to ultimately help other people through I don't know what coaching, training, writing, public speaking, podcasting, whatever it be but I didn't really know how that was all going to shake down and when I so. When I was, that was 19.

Allan:

But I was also confused. I had a lot of insecurities personal insecurities and I decided to take a year off university and travel the world. So I traveled the world, went country to country, city to city, and I kept looking at every place I went I said, wow, that's interesting. And then it was always. Is that all there is? Oh, that's nice. Is that all there is? Oh, that's nice. Is that all there is, there's always? That is that all there is what do you do?

Michelle:

what do you do with that information, as you're exploring externally and then reflecting internally? What am I doing with this information? It's a lot to process well it.

Allan:

What if for me it wasn't so much that, it was more that I appreciated the material world, I appreciated the opportunities to live as a human being in the world. But there was a spiritual void. Only later did I realize there was an inner void, because it seemed like I lived in a culture where there's so much focus on external stimulation and I kind of almost saw through that. There was the lack of meaning, you might say, at least for me at that time. So when I came back, I came back to Montreal where I live, and I met these two people. I came close to dying on the desert when I was traveling the world. That kind of shook me up a lot.

Michelle:

And it was my first life-changing experience so when I came back.

Allan:

Were you, Alan, when that that happened? That time I think I was around 21 or 22 at the time, and I came back to Montreal and I realized up until then I had been pretty atheistic, not religious, not really believing in much more than the physical body and the rational mind, and that affected me so much that I began to be more open to the possibilities. So two weeks later I met these two people in a bookstore that had these calm, clear eyes and they were living at what was called a Zen meditation center at the time and they invited me there and there were about 40 of them, calm, clear eyes, and I looked at them and I said that's what I want and I moved in and lived like a Zen monk for nine years until I missed women too much, and then I left the monastery until I missed women too much and then I left the monastery.

Michelle:

I mean, who's your mama? We appreciate nothing less than honesty, so I'm sure that that can resonate with so many people in multiple areas.

Allan:

So thank you for sharing all of that thus far Right. And when I came back, when I had that realization, I really learned that with all the work that I did spiritually, yes, I did get what I was going for. Why did you take up Zen? The expression is you want to experience enlightenment, you want to have an inner freedom. That's what you're looking for. But I realized when I left the monastery that I had achieved understanding, getting into the zen zone, which I like to call it. But I also realized that unless I connect that with every other area of life, it was going to be limited. So I kind of was, I felt good, but I was also still very emotionally insecure.

Allan:

I went back to get a master's degree in counseling psychology and my thesis was the quality of relationships with others is founded on the quality of the relationship we have with ourselves. And that's been my modus operandi throughout my entire life. And I knew that, although there were a lot of opportunities for me to go and join other people's training programs, my intuition told me that I was destined to create something myself. So I looked at the whole training. Is that clear? So far?

Michelle:

pretty clear yeah, no, it's absolutely clear. I was. I didn't want to interrupt the flow, but it's. It's a good point to ask is for this. You know, different people are at different points in their journey, as you know. I think there's so much alignment that's happening for multiple reasons around the world. So for for those that don't understand it all, like I haven't quite had a I'll call it a pivoting moment where they then they didn't know what may or may not be lacking, so to speak, and what that felt like for you, if you could describe that. And then the follow-up question to that is when you did feel that, what was the process for you to then go on to the next step, to make the, the changes you did on your journey?

Allan:

Well, I think the first thing is that sometimes we need a life-changing moment in our life that wakes us up.

Allan:

And when I was on the desert you know, living near the Mediterranean I came that close to dying on the desert and that was a real life-changing experience for me because I went from being, you know, just ho-hum about life and then all of a sudden facing death and that was really scary.

Allan:

So facing death kind of woke me up and forced me to look inside and forced me to look at rather than be succumbed to my fear of growing and facing myself with courage. I was going to take the leap and start exploring who I was physically, emotionally and spiritually. So it was that wake-up call that led me to be open, that fact that I was open. I started to be open to opportunities that were coming my way, and one of them was meeting those two people and then becoming a monk. When I became a monk, it's as if I felt at home internally. It's almost like if we believe in reincarnation, that I lived many lifetimes as a monk or nun and then I came back within this crazy culture of ours and found my home internally. So the intensity of that was very, very good, but I don't live in a country.

Michelle:

If I may just stop you there on that, and myself included, because I can relate to so much you're saying. And then also, I've never been a monk, obviously, but in terms of being at a place where you feel like you've been pushing yourself there's enlightenment internally, externally, was there a period of time in those nine years when you were a monk where there were things occurring in your transformational states and states where you felt that progression of getting closer to going outside of the environment you were at, or what did that look like to get to the point of going outside? After the nine years, the build-up?

Allan:

yeah, it was a bit of a bit of a build-up because I realized that, as much as I was appreciating the moments of freedom and kind of getting clarity, and sometimes I would meditate and come out of the meditation and I felt I was big as the universe and it felt wonderful the downside of living in that monastic environment is that we weren't dealing with the emotional, psychological stuff. So, although I was experiencing the depths of what I call the zen zone, I would have other moments when I feel like a mess, I would feel like a loser, I would feel like insecure, I feel like I was missing out on fun, not be able to put practice into play, to enjoy all the fruits of your labor, of what was happening, and then flourish in that space.

Allan:

So the the balance of that is what you're missing, if I'm understanding you correctly exactly, and that's why I took it as a learning lesson, because when I went back into society, I realized that, okay, well, I, I did spend a lot of years. A lot of people laugh at me and say, how come you spend nine years as a monk? But I did because I did and that was part of my journey, right. But when I left there I realized, okay, what am I going to do with this? Well, I now want to explore the other parts of me. I want to be able to embrace the material world again. I want to embrace relationships, I want to embrace financial issues and whatever.

Allan:

So as I started to cultivate that new, more expansive lifestyle within and without, I realized that's when I sort of looked at what do I want to do with this? I knew I wanted to teach and it became very clear to me as I went to a lot of training programs and life coaching and read a lot of books. I realized what was missing at least in my perspective in the training world and I wanted to tap into what was missing. That was really part of my journey after leaving the monastery was missing. That was really part of my journey after leaving the monastery.

Michelle:

So, with all that being said, which I'm processing all of this as you're talking because I know we've spoken before, but hearing in more detail I'm envisioning, like watching you from afar and seeing all this and and thinking about myself in my own journey. So, in that, all that being said, what did that look like in terms of I know you mentioned on a broad scale of where you saw yourself going next and and a way for you to think outside of just yourself and and sense of community and acts of service? How did you get from that point to then put action into practice, to get to where you're at now with and we'll get to that in a minute with your Zen activation um program, aka Zab?

Allan:

uh, yeah, the process there was. When I left living as a monk and went back into the world, um, I realized that there were certain things I was very passionate about and the area of relationships and communication was among them. I always since the age of 18 or 19, I was always fascinated with the concept of soulmates, because I would look around me and say we live in such a sophisticated technological world, but how many relationships really inspire me? How many people have come together, true soulmates at a high level, and walk into a room and inspire you? You know, I didn't know too many people like that. So I wanted to ultimately make an impact in the training world that would impact both soulmates and personal relationships and also entrepreneurial communication, because I knew a lot of people were getting into their own businesses and the world was going more toward entrepreneurship. So I was very motivated to put pieces together that would make that happen.

Allan:

So what happened is one of my soulmates I've had many different kinds of soulmates in my life and my twin soulmate, sister Susie, who passed away 14 years ago. She had moved to Montreal. I met her spontaneously. We connected, we know each other for 22 years. We were like brother, sister at the soul level and she had gone back to Vancouver. I went out there. Her boyfriend had drowned and I knew it was my time to leave Montreal and start afresh in Vancouver. And when I got there, I got a job, got sick after three months and I said I didn't come here for a job, I came here to do something.

Michelle:

Come here for a job, I came here to do something special in the training world and that's when I started. I'm sorry that just gave me chills to be present the way that you were and see that, Because I think so many of us can get caught up in our environments and in our own internal environment and not see what that's actually about in terms of lessons and growth that we're achieving.

Allan:

It's just not the way that we imagine it to be. It's right. But one thing about me and I'm a big believer in it is the power of intuition, because I believe we live in a world in fact, one of my books is called Mind Gone Wild. A very wise teacher once taught me. He said, the rational mind is a great servant but a terrible master. And we live in a world which honors the rational mind. There's nothing wrong with the rational mind. We use it and it's very positive.

Allan:

But if we give too much adulation, like in the world we live in now, where people constantly are bombarded with thoughts and information, I heard someone, a 30-year-old guy, said the problem with our generation is we don't know how to focus and just stay in the moment for a while. We're always what's next, what's next, what's next? I call it mind gone wild, and so when I first started to meditate, the first meditation I went through, my mind was totally out of control Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, bombarding thoughts. So I knew that I wanted to go beyond the thought. And as I went beyond the thought and tapped into the Zen zone, I realized that intuition is actually more powerful than rational thought, rational thoughts, great emotions are great, physical bodies great, but at the deepest level it's it guides us. That's kind of the soul, the spiritual side of who we are. That's the higher self. And when you tap into that higher self with a calm, clear mind, then your life is guided more effortlessly and you can have a lot more impact on your relationship.

Michelle:

Great. This is going to be something that not only will I continue to think about for very likely points in time, the rest of my life, I will share with my daughter, who's 15. She's about to start her sophomore year in high school. The mind is a great servant, but a terrible master really does say it all in terms of what we by society, what we also tell ourselves relevant of society, of what guides us. My mom would always say, michelle, in certain areas she said eventually your heart, your head will reconcile, and I think that's a lot of what you're saying in terms of the servant and the master, the two coming together and and what guides you and listening to that is. Is that accurate?

Allan:

yeah, and I think also a lot of as I get older. I'm very interested in the whole process of aging and dying and how we live in a world that a lot of people are not very comfortable with. That which makes total sense, because if you lived your life mostly in the material, in the external and the thinking mind and the rational mind and how you feel, you're not experiencing that deep. Meditating in a deep level to me is a kind of a death. You're dying to the negative ego not necessarily positive ego, negative ego, not necessarily positive ego but you're dying to your over-attachment to the physical things and what's in the material world. Like, I'm not afraid of dying. I don't want to suffer, but I'm not afraid of dying because in a way, through the meditation and going deep into myself, I've already died. So if you and I stop talking for the next 10 minutes, I could just sit here in the Zen zone and I'm fine. But I am a human, I'm still living in the world. So then I use this to propel me into good actions, good communication. But if I'm sitting here with a hyperactive mind and negative thinking, negative feeling, that's why so many people are in dysfunctional relationships, because they haven't solved the dysfunctional relationship with themselves first and what I've learned? Another thing I've learned is that until we learn to accept is that until we learn to accept, love, respect and adore ourselves like our own child, we're going to have difficulty in our relationships and that's why so many people suffer from not having that fulfillment in relationship.

Allan:

One last thing I'll say about that, especially when it comes to romance, because we often see, wow, fell in love with this person. So when you meet someone and there's a chemistry and there's a high and you fall in love, what's really happening is momentarily, you're both out of your heads and into the Zen zone and enjoying that beautiful, ecstatic feeling of two souls connecting. But it doesn't take long of two souls connecting. But it doesn't take long. In my case, in many, many years it didn't take long for insecurity, fear.

Allan:

Oh, she might not like me if she, if I, she finds out this oh, I saw her talking to this guy. I'm now jealous, or whatever starts to come in the way of having great relations. One thing to feel good for a while. It's another thing to maintain a deep connection on an ongoing basis, and that's why very few people experience I like to call it a deep soulmate relationship and even soulmates that meet. Some of them, if they haven't done a lot of work on themselves, will run from each other, or one will run, one will chase, they call it.

Michelle:

The runner and the chaser right. We all have roles, and what roles are we consciously or unconsciously participating in? And, yeah, that that makes a lot of sense I hope that was clear.

Allan:

I I know I went on there, but I hope that's yeah, no, no, no.

Michelle:

Please go on. There's so much to learn, so that's. That's part of the journey. We're going on with you and thinking about our own, the listeners, myself thinking about the journey and how we can apply things and one of the things I wanted to get clarity on. So you talk about dying. I want to make sure that I'm understanding the people that are listening. From my perspective, some things are semantics and some things that aren't. Could you clarify on, expand a little bit more on dying versus and maybe they are synonymous surrendering?

Allan:

I was just gonna say you got. You got it. I was about to say I didn't choose the right word. You're exactly right, because I thought about it as you brought it up and I thought, no, it's not dying, surrendering. Surrendering when you're sitting in meditation and the mind is going and going and going and going, you're attaching to the thoughts and you believe in the thoughts and you're thinking about the past and you're thinking about the present and then, as you calm the mind, as the mind calms down more and more and more, calms down, more and more and more, the hyperactive thinking, the negative thinking, the negative, destructive emotional feelings that we have that don't serve us, they all subside and in that sense you're surrendering that to the higher self, which is calm, clear, freedom.

Allan:

The reason that that wasn't enough. And when I left the monastery I realized you've got to connect the Zen zone because you can surrender all you want in meditation. But if you don't, then don't deal with the emotional, psychological issues like the number two of my nine-step program. If you don't deal with building up your self-confidence on the inside, working on transforming negative thinking into positive thinking, transforming emotions, channeling negative emotions into enthusiasm and passion, unless you tap into the Zen zone and work on the inner person. That's number four. Then five is taking action.

Allan:

I won't go through all the nine steps, but when you learn how to connect all of them, I call it an inner multiple vitamin approach to self-development. Another reason that I put together this nine-step program because I realized that for a while I was going here, going there, reading this book, going to this seminar, getting pumped up. Come back, I go back to the same place. So I wanted to connect the system where you can have all the parts there and you work on all of them simultaneously. And when you go through it in 60, 90, 120 days, not only do you come to a high level of self-mastery and confidence and begin to communicate more effectively, but then you have a self-coaching system for life. So you're not so over-dependent for another book and another training. You might still go through them, but you already have a system for you to be on track and then stay on track, which is the key.

Michelle:

Sure, it's training and body. It sounds like your preventative versus reactionary type of approach, your own internal and external personalized plan blueprint for yourself and what you're doing, and so I definitely I want us we won't have all time on this, so I very much would love to have you back on so we can fully go through the nine steps of Zap, your Zen Activation Program. Before we begin on that part of things, I want to just continue. One last step regarding surrendering. I know I've thought this at different times and I've had conversations with multiple people regarding this particular topic is, when going and embracing surrendering, the conflict within one's mind of am I being manipulative? Am I manipulating myself? Am I being controlled by others? Am I being authentic to myself to surrender? Where does that look like in terms of internal control versus external influences to gauge what surrendering looks for oneself?

Allan:

Great question and that's the reason the very question you're asking is surrender is somewhat multifaceted. I always wanted to make sure when I set out to create a program that will really work. I always wanted to connect self-development, self-mastery, with communication mastery. Because when we talk about surrendering in the moment, I could sit in meditation and if I go live in a cave, I can meditate and count my breath and go deep and deep, deeper, and I can achieve that. But when I remember, when I told you when I left the monastery I went back into the world, I miss women too much and all that, well, when I went back into the world I realized that there were a lot of unfulfilled turbulence within that was there that was not being dealt with by meditation alone. So I realized very quickly that I have my life to work on.

Allan:

But relationships are very important part of this and it's relationships where we really get triggered. That's why one teacher I once had said the most difficult yoga of all is the relationship yoga, because where we get triggered I think you'll probably appreciate that anyone you pretty well talk to their issues when they go to a psychologist or psychiatrist is stuff that happened to them way back. So in my case my brother, four and a half years older. He missed her everything. Best looking, number one in medical school, popular I lived in his shadow. I had some good things going for me. So I grew up as a teenager. Every girl I would go out that I was attracted to, we would get together. It would go well for five or 10 minutes and then eventually they would just back off from me. I realized later that it was because I was projecting so much insecurity and neediness that they picked up on it so I kept sabotaging any potential relationship. So I got triggered. That's where I saw the triggers come through that rooted back to mommy and daddy and other issues from the past.

Allan:

So in terms of surrender, it's one thing to surrender in meditation when you're alone, but it's another thing to also surrender and work on your communication skills so that if, let's say, you're a salesperson, you're scared to communicate and sell something or try to close the deal oh, I want them to like me. I'm. Try to close the deal oh, I want them to like me, I'm afraid to close the deal. Well, that stuff is like inner kind of infections that are still in our inner emotional body that then affect us. When I was a teenager, I'd see a girl halfway across the room at a party or a dance. Took me an hour or two to muster up the courage. I'd walk up to her and say you wouldn't want to dance with me, would you? Or you wouldn't want to dance with me, would you?

Michelle:

already setting the stage for not the outcome that you were seeking for. Like you said, self-sabotage without even consciously realizing it. So, on that note, because I think we can all relate to it, I know what was in my head, but I know that what I convey doesn't, and then it has the propensity to put us backwards in our mind and then self-shame, doubt, bring us back to those insecurities that then trigger past traumas, and a lot of times it's hard to then get back up on your feet to the degree you want without seeing all the progress you've made. So, with that, all being said, what you shared with you personally, how did you overcome those things? When you were back out in the environment after leaving being a monk, when those putting practices into play, when those things came up to then test where the areas were that you needed to continue to grow from, how did you handle those?

Allan:

Well, it's not about whether I handled it or not. I've learned, I'm handling it throughout my entire life. I still work on things. I'm still working. It's never ending. The growth is never ending.

Michelle:

But what tools in those moments did you put into practice? When people say, okay, well, I can feel that, but I don't know what to do when I'm in those moments, how did you go, how did you handle it in that moment to I call it, unwind the tomato vines in our head, the mental gymnastics. What were some practices you did in those moments that people listening could say, okay, that resonates where I can go in my mind.

Allan:

Okay, good question. And to answer the question, well, let's use the example of, let's say, the the relationship thing, where I was fearful and insecure. So I realized, when I start, because I wanted to make sure if I'm doing a training program, I'm walking the talk I'm not walking the talk, I'm just a teacher, not a master I want, I want to master what I'm teaching. So when I would meet someone and got triggered like that, I'd go back. So when I would meet someone and got triggered like that, I'd go back. When I understood what was going on, I realized there's two things I need to do.

Allan:

Obviously, I have this pattern of putting myself down and as I explored that, I realized it connects to some of my negative thoughts, like I'm not good enough, I'm not good looking enough, I can never attract a woman of my dreams. I started to actually identify negative thoughts that I had that were patterns and those thoughts were rooted inside. So one of my exercises that I teach within the ZAP program is to take, let's say, any thought pattern that you have. Let's say I say I don't love myself, I'm a procrastinator. Let's say I know I'm a procrastinator, so if I write down on a piece of paper. I take action right away. I take action right away. That's a lie, I don't, but I'll use that exercise in the inner fitness so that you have to write it, then emotionalize it, then take action. So on. The practical tools are very, very important to practice first within the relationship you have with yourself. That's just giving you one example of a whole variety.

Michelle:

I think that's great and I think it's a really good visual that I can see and I know that people listening can. It's succinct in that and so, continuing on from there, because I'll just go for it and ask you, I would love to have you back on so we can dive deeper into ZAB and so people can understand what that program is and dive deeper into, if they want to connect with you, what their needs are too as well. Before we do that, can you give us a quick sneak peek of I know it's nine steps, where it begins on step one and then we can go into the following steps, next time on who's your Mama.

Allan:

Anytime you want. Just before I give you the sneak preview of the steps, when I talked about working on yourself and transforming a negative thought pattern into a positive and channeling your emotions. As you do that, then we test it out in our relationships. So when we communicate it, let's say I'm asking someone out on a date and I'm afraid, but I'll just embrace the fear and do it anyway and communicate with them. And the more we work on ourselves, the more it has a ripple effect when we actually communicate. So you do both, but you start with the personal. To answer your question. The nine step the first seven have to do with accepting, loving and adoring yourself like your own child, empowering yourself. That's the key. The seven steps really are. The key. Eight is communication, mastery and so on. But in the seven steps, the first step is evaluating yourself, where you see your strengths, your weaknesses. You kind of get an x-ray of who you are and we have an exercise every month for all our clients to go through it again and again and again to see their scores increase. That's easy peasy.

Allan:

Number two is letting go of the negative past, because most people are way too hard on themselves, too self-critical, so we've got to release some of that so that we have a more fertile foundation to build the superstructure of you. Then when you do that, you let go of the negativity. Is that enough? No, we've got to replace the negativity with number three, four and five. Three is about powerful vision, direction, focus, purpose. So we work on your vision muscles.

Allan:

Then to to implement that, you need inner fitness. You need to have a mind, a spiritually sound, emotional development so that your inner fitness is projecting enthusiasm and confidence. Then number five is action. You still need to take action, build out a lifestyle. Four and five inner inner power, outer power. Six is busting through the barriers. My favorite one when we get challenged and we will get challenged, small, medium or large then we teach people self-mastery techniques to embrace that. Then to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and get back in the zone, get back in the superhighway of life. When you use my clients start doing that, that's where self mastery really kicks in and your life becomes very magical and effortless. And number seven is the true power to manifest. Now we could teach people sort of subtle, more in-depth motivational techniques which take you to a real high level of being in synchronicity, living a magical life. And with that empowerment of one to seven, now we can master our selling skills, our parenting skills, our relationship skills, attracting soulmates, whatever it be. That's when we teach the verbal communication techniques.

Michelle:

Well, this has been a magical experience and I would struggle to believe that there's any person around the world, regardless of where they are in background, that would raise their hand and say I don't want to have a magical life. I think so many of us especially post-pandemic, but before is just in the world we live in have all gone through our own shares of traumas and stressors, but ultimately we all want to feel empowered, to be our own masters, to control the journey we call life. So thank you so much for being on here. I look forward to diving deeper into ZAP and thank you again. This has been a beautiful, magical experience. So thank you to everyone that's listening. Let's go, y'all. The time is now. Thank you for tuning in to who's your Mama, and I look forward to collaborating from a community standpoint for the next episodes.

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