Legalized gossip for 2 weeks

When selecting elders, do we practice legalized gossip — and call it wisdom?

In this episode, we examine one of the most accepted but unbiblical traditions in many congregations: “signed and secret objections” during elder selection.
 
Is it fair? Is it gossip? Is it consistent with Jesus’ teachings in Matthew 18? 

We explore how some of our "safe" practices may sidestep scripture — and how following Christ’s harder path can lead to spiritual growth, honesty, and healthier leadership.

If you'd like to discuss your roofing needs, call Jerrie Wayne Barber, II, at 931.628.3390 

When you find a "mustard seed," please share the address of this podcast with a friend: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2369804/episodes/17566838

Website for Braden Parsons Photography

Braden Parsons' email: bradencparsons@gmail.com

If you'd like to discuss your roofing needs, call Jerrie Wayne Barber, II, at 931.628.3390

This podcast is brought to you in conjunction with the Ministry League Network.

As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. There is no additional charge to you.

Fleecy Clouds: One Woman's Story of Surviving and Thriving After Childhood Abuse

Subscribe to my two blogs:

New Shepherds Orientation

Between Preachers

...

Transcript

Legalized gossip — for 2 weeks

When selecting elders, do we practice legalized gossip — and call it wisdom?

In this episode, we examine one of the most accepted but unbiblical traditions in many congregations: “signed and secret objections” during elder selection.

Is it fair? Is it gossip? Is it consistent with Jesus’ teachings in Matthew 18?

We explore how some of our "safe" practices may sidestep scripture — and how following Christ’s harder path can lead to spiritual growth, honesty, and healthier leadership.

Listen to this Sunday morning announcement:

We have the following men who’ve been nominated to serve as elders. If you have any scriptural objection, “Sign a letter and we’ll never tell who wrote it.” 

I am intrigued by our rules (the way we do things — our habits), especially our rules for selecting elders and deacons.

We find qualities of elders and deacons (1 Timothy 3:1-13, Titus 1:5-9, 1 Peter 5:1-4).

We can observe or ignore the apostles’ principles for selecting leaders for God’s

people (Acts 6:1-7).

But I don’t find procedures for vetting those being considered as shepherds and deacons.

My experience is that one rule is standard:

If anyone has an objection, you have two weeks to let us know. I’ve never heard of a week or three weeks or a month — aways two weeks.

Here’s where rules change.

One that concerns me is this:

Here are men we are presenting for your consideration. If anyone has a scriptural objection: write it, sign it, and give it to the elders. We’ll keep it confidential and we’ll

never tell who submitted the objection.

I call this the Rule of Legalized Gossip. For two weeks, this congregation doesn’t have to obey Jesus’ instructions in Matthew 18:15-17:

Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector (NKJV).

Some respond, “Well he didn’t sin, I just don’t think he’s qualified to be an elder

(deacon).” The word sin means to “miss the mark.” (To sin, to miss a mark on the way, not to hit the mark, according to a Greek lexicon.)

In your view, he missed the mark of being prepared to serve in this capacity.

Jesus says if a person misses the mark, go to him privately (alone) and tell him where or how he missed it.

Gossip, talebearing, not following Jesus’ words will produce conflict.

Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down. — Proverbs 26:20

Gossip, talking, or writing, about someone instead of to someone isn’t right for two weeks during vetting elder or deacon candidates. 

Agrippa and Bernice came to Caesarea to visit Festus. Festus had heard gossip about Paul, who was in prison in Caesarea. He told them Romans had a rule not to make a judgment against him based on hearsay. He said in Acts 25:16:

To them I answered, “It is not the custom of the Romans to deliver any man to destruction before the accused meets the accusers face to face, and has opportunity to answer for himself concerning the charge against him.”

We need to have better principles of fairness and justice than pagans. The pagan Romans would not deprive someone of meeting their accusers “face to face.” I like a statement in a process of leadership selection: “Members of the congregation are requested to go to the man before bringing an objection to the committee.”

There's another rule that comes into play: the Golden Rule, Matthew 7:12.

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

I understand the reluctance to do what Jesus said. It's my observation that many rules are made to help people not experience any pain.

Some say, "I'd be embarrassed to do that. I don't know what to say and how to say it. I wouldn't be comfortable doing that.”

Following Jesus wasn't designed to assure comfort.

Jesus said, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me." — Luke 9:23

Carrying a cross isn't for rest and recreation.

I remember the dread and lump-in-the-throat fear of a Saturday night years ago. I put it off until the last night of the “two-week-rule.” Finally, I went to the house of the man and his wife being considered. With reluctance, I said, “I love and appreciate you. But I need to share my concern. 1 Timothy 3:4 says a bishop must be ‘one who rules his own house well.’ “

Looking at the couple, I said, “I often wonder who is the leader of this family — you (husband) or you (wife).” She (and he) assured me he was the leader of the family.

The man was appointed the next day as an elder. But I did what I promised the Lord and myself nine years earlier when a man with similar leadership issues was appointed and I said nothing.

That was a fearful, reluctant, and satisfying victory in my spiritual growth.

Gossip isn’t right and helpful — even when considering elders and deacons.