Considering becoming an elder

What really prepares a man to be an elder? 

Is it years of church, attendance, a successful business career, or a heart shaped by conflict, prayer, and growth?

When someone accepts the call to shepherd God's people, how do they know if the congregation actually wants them to serve, and how do they avoid simply becoming a senior deacon?

In this episode, I share a recent conversation with a brother wrestling with these questions, and together we explore the realities, frustrations, and opportunities of serving as an elder in the church.

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Transcript

 070 Considering becoming an elder

What prepares a man to be an elder? Is it years of church, attendance, a successful business career, or a heart shaped by conflict, prayer, and growth? When someone accepts the call to shepherd God's people, how do they know if the congregation actually wants them to serve, and how do they avoid simply becoming a senior deacon?

In this episode, I share a recent conversation with a brother wrestling with these questions, and together we explore the realities, frustrations, and opportunities of serving as an elder in the church.

Here is a text I received recently:

I have been asked to serve as an elder in the church. This is a weighty responsibility, and I do not take this decision lightly. My wife and I have been spending a lot of time in study, prayer, and reflection over the last 3 weeks, and I am asking for your prayers as we consider this new path.

As you know, this role requires a deep commitment to serving God, knowing his word, and guarding the flock. I know I will need strength and wisdom to do so effectively. Your support means the world to my wife and me, and knowing that you are praying for our family will help us during this critical decision-making process.  

I would like to talk with you in person or through a phone call. 

Here’s my reply in the form of questions with comments:

What do you want to do as an elder?

If the present elders understand their responsibilities are to “make decisions, keep up the building, keep everybody happy, keep the bills paid,” and your understanding is that elders are to be overseers and shepherds, be prepared for much frustration.

New elders rarely serve as elders initially, and many times for years to follow. Often, they’re junior elders and trainees who are expected to follow the same practices as the other elders.

Tell me about the other elders.

This is a follow-up to the previous question. How much thought has been put into this selection process? What orientation will you be given?

What is the attitude of the congregation toward the present elders? How long has it been since the members had an Elders Appreciation Party? How much criticism does the present eldership receive? How will you deal with that when you go over to “the other side?”

How is the selection being made?

What level of input does the congregation have? Where do you find the principles being used in the Bible?

How will you know if the members want you to serve?

The only way I know to find out what others think is to ask them. How will this be done?

The only way someone can lead is when the group gives them permission to do so.

How much authority does Jesus have? — Matthew 28:18.

And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.”

How many people does Jesus lead?

Answer: only those who give him permission.

The Spirit and the Bride say, “Come.” And let the one who hears say, “Come.” And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price. — Revelation 22:17

 “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!” — Matthew 23:37

You can't give a gift to someone who doesn't want it. You can't serve someone who doesn't want your service. The only way I know to find out if they want me to serve is to ask them.

What has prepared you for this?

This brother's reply didn’t surprise me. I’ve known him for several years. He replied that a severe conflict in the church where he was a member several years ago showed him the need for good leaders.

A few decades ago, I heard the same sentiment from one of the finest brothers I’ve ever known. He said he’d never seriously considered serving as an elder until he saw the hurt that he, his family, and the congregation experienced during a severe conflict.

What is your plan for continuing education?

This person told me his plan to attend a leadership workshop in September. Soon after we talked, he told me he’d registered for another seminar the following week.

I wasn’t surprised. He’s consistently shown this attitude since I’ve known him, both in his family and in his business, as well as in his dedication to Jesus.

Many men enter the eldership with little or no preparation. Many elders don’t pursue any continuing training or growth. That wouldn’t be tolerated in education, medicine, plumbing, law, or the heating and air conditioning business . Most preachers I know attend one or more lectureships each year. Surely, the men who oversee, shepherd, and serve with the ministers and deacons would welcome the opportunity to learn and grow as well.

What would you like to improve in the present leadership team?

He answered that he’d like to see elders serve as shepherds, leading and teaching the congregation to reach out to others with the gospel, visiting people's homes, and interacting with families to help them through their struggles and difficult times in life. He wanted to see a better relationship between the elders and the ministers of the congregation.

From his observation, these things haven’t been true with the present eldership.

How soon would you like to see this improvement?

His obvious response was that he’d like to see these changes very quickly. I can understand his wish.

Practically, that rarely happens. Some of the most disappointed elders I’ve ever met were good men who saw what they thought were deficiencies in the eldership and tried to fix them very quickly.

Groups rarely change until the pain of the present dysfunction outweighs the pain that will be generated in improving and growing significantly.

Have you been a deacon?

He answered in the affirmative. He was very pleased with the progress that’d been made in the last few years in the ministry he and a fellow deacon are leading.

How will you avoid continuing to do the work of a deacon after you become an elder?

This was the most difficult question. His first response was that he’d be glad to work with future deacons, assist them, advise them, and help them do their work.

That is often what many elders do — continue to serve as deacons.

This is in contrast to the way the apostles responded to the challenge of serving the widows in Jerusalem, who’d been neglected.

It is not desirable that we should leave the word of God and serve tables. Therefore, brethren, seek out from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business; but we will give ourselves continually to prayer and to the ministry of the word. — Acts 6:1-4

The NIV translates verses 3 and 4:

We will turn this responsibility over to them. But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.

They didn't think they could do both.

My prediction is that this good man will do well. I’ve prayed for him and others who are considering the same opportunity.