Elder appreciation parties. Why and how?

Elders pour out time, prayer, energy, and emotional strength to shepherd God’s people—yet many serve for decades without ever hearing a heartfelt “thank you.” 

In this episode, we explore why elder appreciation isn’t just polite—it’s biblical, healthy, and vital for the unity and future of the church. 

You’ll hear real stories, practical ideas, and three powerful reasons every congregation should intentionally honor its shepherds. 

If you want stronger leaders, a stronger church, and a spirit of peace among God’s people, this conversation will show why appreciation matters and how your church can start showing it today.

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Transcript

082 Elder Appreciation Parties: Why and How

Elders pour out time, prayer, energy, and emotional strength to shepherd God’s people—yet many serve for decades without ever hearing a heartfelt “thank you.” 

In this episode, we explore why elder appreciation isn’t just polite—it’s biblical, healthy, and vital for the unity and future of the church. 

You’ll hear real stories, practical ideas, and three powerful reasons every congregation should intentionally honor its shepherds. 

If you want stronger leaders, a stronger church, and a spirit of peace among God’s people, this conversation will show why appreciation matters and how your church can start showing it today.

One question I like to ask a church when I begin is, “How long’s it been since you’ve had an Elders’ Appreciation Party? How do you show gratitude to your shepherds?”  I have received some interesting answers. “We don’t do things like that around here.”  “We haven’t had one because we don’t appreciate our elders.”

It is healthy, helpful, and biblical to show gratitude to our leaders.

And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake.  Be at peace among yourselves. — 1 Thessalonians 5:12, 13

Three reasons to show gratitude to our shepherds individually, and as a group.

1. I wanna express appreciation for others because I need encouragement myself. I’ve tried preaching with and without encouragement, and I’ve found it easier with than without.  I need to treat others the way I want to be treated.  I’ll reap what I sow.
2. I want our young people to love and value our shepherds and aspire to serve when they’re older. If all they hear is criticism and the claim that our leaders are inept, why would they wanna to be in a position like that?  When they see honor given to leaders, they see Christians being obedient to scripture and good leaders being treated with the respect they deserve.
3. I wanna express appreciation for the good job they do because I want to question and challenge them when I disagree with them. If all I do is criticize or take them for granted, another criticism will probably be ineffective.

I remember some good occasions at my last full-time work, Berry’s Chapel Church of Christ in Franklin, Tennessee.  After our new elders, appointed in 1995, had served a year, we had a party.  There was red carpet for the shepherds and their wives to walk on as they entered the fellowship area.  Each wife was given a dozen red roses.  Baskets were placed beside each couple where members could leave written expressions of appreciation as they passed by, talked with them, and thanked them for their work.

A few years later, some deacons took up private donations, and each bishop and his wife were given a weekend at the Opryland Hotel to show our gratitude for their work.

After ten years of service, we presented each shepherd a plaque to remind him that he was loved and appreciated.

Why would a church not show appreciation? The shepherds may not express gratitude to each other.  In one church, when an elder was retiring after decades of service, I asked, “What kinda party will we have? Will you buy a plaque and present it to him?”.  The answer, “No.  We’re not going to do anything like that.  You start doing that and all the elders will resign.”  That was the same church where some members said, “We don’t have elder appreciation parties because we don’t appreciate our elders.”  Was there a connection?

Gail and I invited the retiring elder and his wife to our house for a delicious meal.  We gave them a book with a written message documenting our appreciation for their service and dedication.

A good shepherd told me, “I’ve been serving as an elder thirty years and no one has ever said, ‘Thank you.'”  That shouldn’t happen.  We need to select and ordain good shepherds and express our gratitude often, “esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake.”  The next statement may be connected, “Be at peace among yourselves” (1 Thessalonians 5:13).

I appreciate each man who’s serving and has served as a shepherd of God’s sheep, and I appreciate your family, who’ve encouraged and supported you.  Thank you for your time, care, courage, teaching, and example.  May God continue to bless you for your devotion to Him and His people.

What are some ways you’ve seen appreciation expressed to the shepherds of a congregation?

What do you plan to do soon to honor one or more of your shepherds?

Please send me a text message at the top of the show notes to tell me about your past experience and future intentions in this area.

When do you plan to express your attitude of gratitude? Will you express your appreciation even if others don't?