The friendliest church I've ever seen

What if the secret to turning around a struggling, "cold and unfriendly" church wasn’t a new program, more sermons, or leadership changes—but a widow with a folding table and a heart for hospitality? 

In this episode, discover how Cricket Veal’s simple monthly meals transformed relationships during one of the toughest seasons in the church’s history. 

Her story reveals profound lessons on love, connection, and what real friendliness looks like—lessons every Christian, elder, preacher, and church needs today.

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Transcript

112 “Friendliest Church I’ve Ever Seen”

What if the secret to turning around a struggling, "cold and unfriendly" church wasn’t a new program, more sermons, or leadership changes—but a widow with a folding table and a heart for hospitality? 

In this episode, discover how Cricket Veal’s simple monthly meals transformed relationships during one of the toughest seasons in the church’s history. 

Her story reveals profound lessons on love, connection, and what real friendliness looks like—lessons every Christian, elder, preacher, and church needs today.

It was a trying, disappointing time. In a few months, our attendance had dropped from near 400 to about 300 each Sunday. Two of the three elders had resigned, dissolving the eldership. Unhappy people left. People said it was my fault, the previous elders’ fault, and the ones who were still there’s fault. According to reports, the church was cold and unfriendly.

A Christian widow moved into a condo in our area. Chris, “Cricket,” Veal was a loving, happy Christian lady. She missed most of the fuss. She didn’t select a side to cheer for and alienate others.

She did something I’ve never seen before. She bought a folding table and folding chairs. Once a month, from our church directory, she selected six to eight people to invite to her home for a meal. Gail and I were invited more than once. It was because of Cousin Zeke, my ventriloquist figure. 

She didn’t call an elders meeting to ask how they were going to fix the church. She didn’t wait for someone to ask her to get involved. She didn’t complain because everyone wasn’t happy. She wanted to know her brothers and sisters in this new family. 

It was simple, but powerful. We ate. We talked. Cousin Zeke and I chatted a few minutes. We went home. Cricket did it again next month. She wanted to become acquainted with Christians at Berry’s Chapel. She thought this was a good way. 

It took time to cook once a month for 8-10 people. She invested money to buy groceries. She wasn’t a wealthy person. But it paid great dividends for Cricket and the people she blessed in her home. After doing this a few months, Cricket’s observation on the congregation, “This is the friendliest church I’ve ever seen!”

Why was her observation different from many who couldn’t survive the cold, unfriendly people in the congregation a few months before?

What Can I Learn from That?

This is a good way for shepherds to relate to sheep. I find my name memory improves when I eat with people. What if each elder and his wife hosted one or two families to get to know them better? How would this improve elder-member relationships?

In one of our interim churches, we decided to do what we had done at an earlier church — visit each family in the small congregation. However, in this church, families consistently ignored or rejected our request to visit in their homes. What could we do? It's not good to visit someone who says they don't want you to visit.

About every two weeks, Gail cooked vegetable soup, cornbread, and a dessert. We invited 8 to 10 people. We ate together we introduced ourselves. We played the Ungame. It's an excellent way to start conversations. I'll put a link in the show notes if you're interested in learning more about it. https://amzn.to/4uzLsIB

The “Cricket Method” is ideal for Bible school teachers. I remember a lady who read stories to a group of young people on her front porch. I walked a mile to each week to take part. I remember the Santa Clause she gave us at Christmas, made of an apple, a marshmallow for his head, and gum drops on toothpicks for the legs and arms. That was 71 years ago!

Initiating this practice is a good way to apply the principles in 1 Peter 4:8, 9:

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.

But I Don’t Have Time!

How about doing this once every six months or once a year? Direction is more important than speed. Something every few months is better than nothing forever. Do something intentionally and regularly to practice love and hospitality to other Christians and non-Christians. 

Luke 14:12-14

He said also to the man who had invited him, “When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.”

We appointed new elders. We survived the “Fuss of 1995.” A few years later, we averaged more than 400 for the year — a "world record” for that congregation.  Many people contributed to the survival and revival of the church. They were fuss-free for twenty-five years after that. 

One of the people I remember during that time was a newcomer, Cricket Veal. She “did what she could, with what she had, where she was,” projected and prophesied a great attitude, and embodied the principle, “eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” 

The question for me — will a be a Cricket, doing what I can, with what I have, where I am?

The Ungame:  https://amzn.to/4uzLsIB