Season 2 Episode 3- "Damien"

What Your Future Self Will Thank You For

Episode Description

For Episode 3, E sits down with Damien, a longtime friend whose conversations always come with humor, honesty, and plenty of personality.

The 21 brings out airport snacks, shoe collections, dream concerts in Singapore, signature scents, procrastination, and a real appreciation for simply showing up for people. Damien talks about support, self-care, and why presence matters more than people think.

Then comes The One.

What do you want your future self to thank your present self for doing?

The conversation shifts into fear, courage, and the decisions we make when life asks us to stretch. E and Damien talk about not giving up, not settling, and what it means to keep going even when starting something new feels uncomfortable.

This episode feels like catching up with someone who knows growth is rarely smooth, but still worth it.

What You’ll Hear

What Damien’s “non-super superpower” says about who he is
Why presence can mean more than words
A conversation about fear, courage, and not settling
What self-care looks like in this season of life
What it means to make choices your future self will be grateful for

Season 2 Format

21 Questions
Light, thoughtful prompts designed to reveal perspective, some laughs and insight

The One
A deeper conversation sparked by what naturally comes up.

No scripts. No prep. Just presence.

Join the Conversation

After listening, ask yourself one question:
What do you want your future self to thank your present self for doing?

Then send this episode to someone who needs the reminder to keep going.

Transcript

E 0:12

Okay, welcome back everybody. So we're continuing the conversation that will, of course, be a refreshing one. And I'm on my virtual road trip of talking to and laughing with people that I enjoy have come enjoy having conversations with. And I'm fortunate enough to know some really great people. And I'm grateful when they take time out of their schedules to chat with me. And today, joining me on the pod is Damien. And I've known him since like 2012, 2013. T hat's crazy. But we've had some great conversations and asked some great questions and had some great laughs over the years. But this will be the first time that it has ever been recorded. So, you know, we'll see how this goes. But I know it'll be amazing. I'm excited to have him on the pod. So let's welcome and have a refreshing conversation with Damien. Welcome, Damien.

Damien 1:02

Hey, hey, hello, hello. Thank you for having me.

Speaker 5 1:05

No worries.

E 1:06

Thank you for being here. All right. So do you want to introduce yourself, say anything, and give the people any more information, or you want to get straight to the 21.

Damien 1:18

Sure, I introduce myself. Damien. Recently retired from the Navy after 24 plus years.

Speaker 5 1:25

Thank you for your service.

Speaker 3 1:27

Thank you for your support. And I'm trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. So here I am, loving life.

Speaker 5 1:34

You know, and that's the beautiful thing. I'm excited for you. All right. So with that, uh, no worries. So with that, let's start the 21. So the 21 are 21 questions slash non-questions that are lighthearted, thoughtful, and nothing heavy. So let's go to number one. So here's the example. I'm an American, but I don't like American cheese. So what's something that you are, but you don't, whatever the stereotype or whatever, whatever something that's it's associated with that be. Does that make sense?

Speaker 3 2:10

Let me say you American, but you don't like American cheese.

Speaker 5 2:13

Right. So you don't have to use it. So don't use my example. My example can't be your answer, but that's the premise. So something that you are, but that you don't subscribe to like other people of that. So like you said, you were in the Navy. So you okay. I don't know if y'all, I remember back in the day, y'all had those pants, those pants are like bell bottoms. So you could be like, I'm a sailor, but I don't like those, whatever those those pants were called. So that's just a it was a kind of lame example, but you get the gist.

Speaker 3 2:42

Yeah, it was funny you said that because I was like, I'm in the Navy, but uh I'm not a I'm not a good swimmer like people think people in the Navy should.

Speaker 5 2:49

Ah, okay, good point. That is a good one. Is that something you want to learn how to do, or are you just like, I'm good?

Speaker 3 2:56

Oh no, I'm too old now. I mean I just look at the water now. I'm like wide wide and about knee deep.

Speaker 4 3:03

You're not too old to learn how to swim. You can still do it.

Speaker 5 3:07

You said you want to do something new in this this chapter of your life, maybe learning how to swim is one epic.

Speaker 3 3:13

That is true. That is true. Not that yeah, you're right.

Speaker 5 3:17

Put it on your list, it ain't gotta be at the top of it, but put it on the list.

Speaker 3 3:22

It's gonna be a long list.

Speaker 5 3:25

But that's a good thing. That means you're open to to new adventures, so that's really good.

Speaker 3 3:31

Yeah, true.

Speaker 5 3:32

Okay, so number two, my petty pet peeve is so what's the pet peeve that you know? I mean, everybody has pet peeves. So what is one that you know is petty, but you know, it's yours regardless.

Speaker 3 3:45

Uh I'm I'm I'm gonna have to get that last word in.

Speaker 5 3:50

Really?

Speaker 3:52

Really?

Speaker 1 3:54

Okay.

Speaker 3 3:55

Yeah, I be I be trying to I be trying to take the what is it, take, take the adult route or you know, agree to disagree, but I just don't be feeling it. It don't sit right with my spirit. I didn't get that last word. You may not agree with it, but I'm gonna say it anyway.

Speaker 4:13

I'm like, I gotta get that last word.

Speaker 5 4:18

Okay, do you know that?

Speaker 3 4:19

My first time at midnight out in the open, too.

Speaker 5 4:21

And how do you feel? This I try to create it, I try to create a safe space for people. So I'm glad that you felt comfortable enough to to go you know further than knee deep.

Speaker 3 4:32

Yeah, I love right now. I I appreciate that. I went, I went about uh about chest deep.

Speaker 5 4:37

Oh, okay, all right. All right, all right, thank you. We're gonna keep the atmosphere welcome and safe on this on this podcast. Okay, so number three, what is hmm, okay, yeah, here it is. What is your go-to at the airport or the mall? Like for as far as food court. So if you're at the food court, I don't know when the last time you've been to the mall, but what's what's something you gotta get? Or if you're at the airport, you're like, oh my god, I gotta stop and get whatever item food-wise.

Speaker 3 5:10

Lately, because uh, what is it? Lately, these past six, seven months, I've been flying every month. So for some reason, I gotta give me a good old bottle of water and them and a bag of them old school animal crackers.

Speaker 5 5:24

Whoa, okay. Like with the little man, I haven't seen animal crackers in a while. So, like the ones that literally had like the animal circus on them or another variety.

Speaker 3 5:32

Yeah, remember the back of the day and had the little string on the box and little things in their carry. Yeah, but they got a bag of them now.

Speaker 5 5:39

Yeah, wow. Okay, that you know, that is the oldie bagy.

Speaker 3 5:45

Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 5 5:47

I'm gonna have to um hmm. Now you got me want some animal crackers.

Speaker 3 5:52

Hey, you gotta try them out. They're actually they're pretty good.

Speaker 5 5:55

Well, you know, but I want some with some apple juice. I love apple juice.

Speaker 3 6:00

So see there, you can now actually just tell the uh the flight attendant you want some apple juice.

Speaker 5 6:06

Boom.

Speaker 3 6:07

So to keep a can on deck, yeah.

Speaker 5 6:09

Problem solved. Okay, so number four, what is a book, song, or movie that you wish you you would have written and why? That's already existing, so you don't have to like think of your own book, but something or movie. So it's a movie, a book or a song.

Speaker 3 6:30

Let's see, it's between actually, you know what, Harlem Knights.

Speaker 5 6:34

Oh, okay. Okay, why?

Speaker 3 6:39

It's just the fact that you know, so many uh the uh comedy greats is on there. It's just good to kind of you know pick they brain, but then at the same time enjoy enjoy making the movie, or you know, writing the movie. You know, it's never gonna be a dull moment with all them around.

Speaker 5 6:58

Touche. That is a good one. Okay, we're gonna keep it going into number five. So this one is is I like number five is one, well, they're all my favorite, but number five is really an interesting one. So this is called give, steal, or destroy. So you have to give away one of your prized possessions. You can steal anything in the world and not get caught, and you can destroy anything in the world. So give, steal, destroy.

Speaker 3 7:27

Let's see. Give you know how let's see, and no take backs.

Speaker 5 7:35

I for I knew you were gonna say that.

Speaker 2 7:42

Shoes.

Speaker 5 7:44

That has been a popular answer. Uh but you know what that is, I've noticed the a trend. So you're the third person I've talked to, and all three of y'all have like amazing shoe collections, and all three of y'all are willing to part with it. So that really speaks volumes.

Speaker 3 8:01

That or I just mean I'm getting older. Like, you know, young me, I don't even wouldn't have said that at all. Yeah.

Speaker 4 8:09

Pick somebody else.

Speaker 3 8:12

Exactly.

Speaker 5 8:15

All right. So, what would you steal?

Speaker 3 8:18

Hmm, and then you said not get caught.

Speaker 5 8:21

You could never get caught. You can tell, it's not like you have to have it in hiding or either, you know, like having it in a dark corner of your basement. So you can still enjoy it. So let's say you wanted the Mona Lisa for whatever reason, you could steal it and you could have it up in your house, but you would never get caught.

Speaker 3 8:36

What are the artifacts from the the great museum over in Cairo, Egypt that they just opened up?

Speaker 5 8:42

I know I want to get over there. I've I've I've been before, but it's been years, so I'm definitely overdue. But that museum is definitely on the list.

Speaker 3 8:51

Oh, yeah. I'm I'm trying to plan my great escape for next year around the summertime. You know, a little birthday gift to myself.

Speaker 5 8:58

Right over. Do it. That'll be amazing. Okay, so what would you destroy?

Speaker 3 9:05

Let me see. What would I destroy? Can I say mumble wrap?

Speaker 5 9:11

It's whatever you want. So mumble wrap it is.

Speaker 3 9:14

Yeah, mumble wrap. I I yeah. I just, yeah, that gotta go.

Speaker 5 9:21

And I'm okay with that. All right, so going on to number six. If you could be part of any TV show or movie, what would it be? Extra points if you know, not that not that I'm keeping score, but extra points if you know the character you would play, and or if you wanted to create a new character for the show for you to play.

Speaker 3 9:42

Let's see. I want to be in the office.

Speaker 4 9:46

Okay. All right. Why the office?

Speaker 3 9:50

I I love that show.

Speaker 4 9:52

Okay.

Speaker 3 9:53

Like I could just just that dry sense of humor, and then you know me for years. Like, I can easily be a part of that and stuff. And my part, I wouldn't, because I still need Daryl and Michael and Dwight and them there. But I'd be probably uh be uh Dante, the delivery man. You know, the deliveryman to come in there every so often and then drop off packages and pick up stuff.

Speaker 5 10:18

Okay, so you wouldn't be a regular, you'd just be like a seasonal guest or something like that. Yeah. Oh, would you be part of a special episode? Remember back in the day they had like those after school specials, and they'd be a special episode.

Speaker 3 10:32

I'd be seasonal because I need I need to be in there more than once.

Speaker 5 10:37

Touche. Okay, so that was a good one. Let's go on to number seven. What is the compliment that you love to receive?

Speaker 3 10:49

Um really something about hearing, thank you for being there, and thank you for supporting me or looking after me. Oh, that's like I don't know, that just gives me an amazing feeling, just knowing that I was able to help somebody out or support somebody, you know.

Speaker 5 11:10

Oh, that's awesome. Okay, let's go to number eight. What is your non-super superpower? So, you know, like superman can fly, that's a superpower, so not that. So, what is something that that you you can attribute to yourself that is your non-super superpower?

Speaker 1 11:32

Hmm. Let me see. My it's my non-superpower. Let me say my presence. Okay. I like that one. Explain.

Speaker 3 11:46

It just I don't know, just uh from the uh the good old trials and tribulations of life and me being on the other side, like I'm not on the other side no more. Just me being on the flip side of a coin and people not being present for you. And I just knew how that made me feel.

Speaker 1 12:05

Yeah.

Speaker 3 12:06

And all I wanted was just somebody to be present for me. Like you ain't had to say nothing, dude. And just, you know, you say you're gonna be there, you know, be there, support or whatnot. You know, I need you go the extra mile if you want to, so be it, but just be there.

Speaker 1 12:20

Yeah.

Speaker 3 12:21

And I realized that, you know, a lot of people just need that presence. Just know, like, okay, you know, dang, you see Damien here, cool. Thank you for the support. You know, everything else will fall into place.

Speaker 5 12:30

Yeah, you know. You know, that is your superpower. I concur. You do you do have a not even just from that, but just from I remember like just from meeting you initially. I was like, he has a way about him. So you have presence in the way that you're you're defining it and describing it, but presence in just like your aura is like, wow, he has a great presence about him. So yeah, I concur. So if you need somebody to sign off on that, holla at me. Number 10. No worries. Number 10. What would your radio DJ name be? And what would the name of your show be?

Speaker 3 13:09

Let's see. It's crazy, I already have a name. It's uh DJ Damie Dame. Because you know, through the years, my voice and testosterone really kicked in and it got deeper and deeper, and everybody used to be like, you need to be a VJ, midnight love and stuff. And you know, I always get the popular question. Do you know that can you sing? Trust me, if I could sing, you would know. But I'm the you know, the 80s or not even the the late 80s, early 90s voice. I bring the song in for you.

Speaker 5 13:46

Okay, I miss interludes. Remember back in the day, like especially in the 90s, it had oh my god, that amazing interludes.

Speaker 3 13:55

Okay, the build, the great builder.

Speaker 5 13:57

Yeah, okay. So, what's the name of your show, DJ Damie Dame? Or Dame? Is it Damie Dame or Dame Dame? What is it?

Speaker 3 14:04

Yeah, uh, it's Dami Dame.

Speaker 5 14:06

Okay, all right, I got it. So, what what would the name of your your show be?

Speaker 3 14:10

Welcome to the Abyss.

Speaker 5 14:12

Mmm. That sounds like that's coming on late. That sounds like it's coming on like at midnight. Your show's the one right before the morning crew comes in.

Speaker 2 14:26

Let me think that uh what's uh what was that show that come in today?

Speaker 4 14:30

The quiet storm.

Speaker 3 14:31

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yours is kind of like you think you're about to get the quiet storm mixed with a little unfetter? I don't know.

Speaker 4 14:38

Here comes the hurricane. It's not a quiet storm.

Speaker 3 14:41

You don't know what you're gonna get. You might get some vibes, some good vibes or some adult vibe. I don't know.

Speaker 4 14:49

But welcome.

Speaker 5 14:53

Okay, so going to number 11. And you kind of did this in your in the answer for your uh number two, but you might have something on deck. So number 11 is what is a self-identified red flag slash toxic trait?

Speaker 1 15:13

A red flag slash toxic trait.

Speaker 5 15:18

And then it have to be like super revealing. Like for me, like I procrastinate. So um, I definitely identify that yeah, I could be better at stuff. I can be better at not pushing stuff off.

Speaker 3 15:32

Um yeah. It's funny you said that because I was about to say, either procrastinate, I don't know. It's like a retirement, my procrastination level is kind of like off the charts, believe me. Yeah, slowly rising. But you know, once I get like, hey, once it's in my head, like I gotta do this, you're gonna get 110% from me. I'm all in. But if I ain't all in, I'm all on that couch being held ever so gently. Like, oh man, it's crazy. That couch just be that cow that couch got some melatonin in it. You paid extra for that ever so gently. Yeah. Nice deep couch, dude. That's the funny part. Everybody's sitting like, man.

Speaker 5 16:18

I'm like, I know, I know. It's crazy. Stuff dreams are made of, no pun intended. Exactly. Okay, so number 12. If you could pick your name, what would you have wanted your name to be? It can't be you have to pick a totally different name than Damien. So if you could have any name in the world, what would you want it to be?

Speaker 3 16:39

It was either Devin or Malachi.

Speaker 5 16:43

That's what you would pick for yourself?

Speaker 3 16:45

Yeah, myself, Devin.

Speaker 5 16:48

I'm tripping off. I don't know.

Speaker 3 16:52

Somebody Malachi.

Speaker 5 16:54

Have you seen Children of the Corn?

Speaker 3 16:57

I know, that's exactly why that name popped in my head.

Speaker 5 17:00

Oh, okay. Because I've that's the only Malachi I can I can think of, or definitely the first one that comes to mind.

Speaker 3 17:07

And I met a kid, and his name is Malachi, a black kid too. I just looked at him like, let me see some ID, like for real? I believe him. I instantly thought of children were cooler. I like the name. But that movie also kind of traumatized me a little bit too.

Speaker 5 17:22

Yeah, I don't think I made it all the way through that thing. But speaking of this black Malachi, like, what was his vibe? Was he cool? Was he just regular deck?

Speaker 3 17:30

Yeah, he was real cool. He was cool, guy on the earth, cool kid and stuff. And he was just he was very smart too. I was shocked.

Speaker 1 17:43

Because his name was Malachi?

Speaker 3 17:44

I get it all the time. He was like, no, he was just like, I get it all the time. Everybody kind of do a double take when they found out my name. Yeah. Especially us this color.

Speaker 5 17:56

So let me ask you this. This is kind of stereotyp stereotyping, but uh don't tell me his last name. Well, but I guess if I guess it, then you gotta confirm or deny. Well, don't let me just say my joke and get it out because you said he was black. And to me, when I think of a black name, I think of Jenkins. So what if his name was Malachi Jenkins? So you have this first name that's really not air quotes, a black name, and then you have this black last name. So did his last name match what you would think his ethnicity would be, or was it just a generic count kind of sounding name altogether? Does that make sense what I'm asking?

Speaker 3 18:35

Yeah, it was like a it's like one of them last names, like that's a black last name, but I also could go for generic too. That's why I was like, let me see some ID because it sounds like you just made that up.

Speaker 5 18:46

Yeah, interesting. I wanna hope he's having a good life wherever he is in the world. Let's see. Okay, so number 13. This is all about music. So your con your dream concert lineup and location. So you can have up to five acts. It could be a solo person or it could be a group, but you get up to five, and they can be anywhere in the world, any location you want them to be, any venue you want them to be. Who would who would the five acts be? And where would the concert be held?

Speaker 3 19:16

Let's see. Uh Michael Jackson. Okay. Stevie Wonder.

Speaker 1 19:22

Okay. Prince. Okay. Who are my other two?

Speaker 3 19:33

Anita Baker.

Speaker 1 19:35

Okay.

Speaker 3 19:36

Who is my number five? I could go new school, but I'm not. I will go with the Asley brothers.

Speaker 5 19:45

Oh wow. Okay. So who's the headliner? Who's yeah, who's a headliner?

Speaker 3 19:50

It's gotta be Michael Jackson.

Speaker 5 19:52

Really? Okay, because I mean, because they all heavy hitters.

Speaker 3 19:55

I know, I know. I know, I know, but I might just.

Speaker 5 19:59

But he's shutting it down. He's he's bringing the the event to a close.

Speaker 3 20:03

Of course, you know, may he rest in may he rest in heaven. I took, I took like two days off of work when he passed.

Speaker 5 20:09

Oh wow. I found when uh when Prince passed, I was at work. Um, and I yeah, I uh that that that got me. I teared up. I was like, oh my goodness. It was like some somebody I had known personally. That that one got me. I think out of all the celebrities that have passed, Prince was the one that really, yeah, really got me. Okay. So let's go to number 14.

Speaker 3 20:37

Um I know you Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't tell you the location.

Speaker 5 20:40

Oh, oh my bad, yeah. What's location? I got caught up in the prints of it all.

Speaker 3 20:46

Let's see, my location would be uh it would be Singapore.

Speaker 5 20:52

Oh, I love Singapore. What was that, Gardens of the Bay? Would you have it there? Or would you have it? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, oh out oh my god, outside, and then with with the trees and whatnot lit up. Oh my goodness. Oh yeah, I'd definitely go to your I'd I'd go to your concert.

Speaker 3 21:11

Okay.

Speaker 5 21:15

I know. Yeah, that would be, yeah. That would be one for the books. Okay, so I know you're in retirement mode, but which is well deserved. But what would be your dream occupation? It can't be one that you've already had. It has to be something that either as a kid you dreamed about or even as an adult. Like you're like, man, you know, it'd be cool to be a dot dot dot. What would that occupation be?

Speaker 3 21:42

It No, it changed through the years, but uh, you know, unfortunately, knowing, you know, my my infamous kick spetish, I'm low key nervous, nervous to apply and go check it out would be like at a shoe store.

Speaker 5 22:00

Okay. Have you ever thought about designing shoes though?

Speaker 3 22:05

You know what? I haven't.

Speaker 5 22:07

There's a cool HBC. It's a HBCU. It's in Detroit. I can't think of the name of it, but I could send you, I'll look it up and send it to you. But yeah, they it's it's really cool. Like I wish I was artistic, because I would definitely go. I was like, it just seems like a really cool environment and the connections and the network that they have is really it's really impressive. So yeah, I think you'd be you'd be good with that. Not to knock your bakers. Who else is a I can think of a shoe store besides a Nike or whatever, but that would be interesting. Would you be like a luxury?

Speaker 3 22:41

Work at a luxury shoe store or just like a kick's or no, I'd be at the kicks like Foot Locker, JD Sports, not JD Sports, but yeah, Foot Locker, chance.

Speaker 1 22:51

Okay, that's cool though.

Speaker 3 22:52

Give me my give me my uh discount. Give me my referee. Give me my referee shirt.

Speaker 4 23:00

Would you have a little whistle just to be authentic or not doing too much?

Speaker 3 23:03

I I know. You know, Puma and Nike don't match. Adidas flag on the flag. I don't care what no one's saying. Adidas sweats did not go with everything. Take off the night.

Speaker 5 23:24

All right. So let's go to number 15. Okay, so this is your superpower, but you know, I got a little put put a little twist on it. What would be your selfish superpower? And what would be your superpower for the greater good?

Speaker 1 23:41

So by self-selfish one would be I turn invisible.

Speaker 5 23:46

Okay. Right.

Speaker 3 23:48

You know, that's kind of the that's kind of the one of the easiest things to get out of stuff. It just disappears.

Speaker 5 23:57

You know what I thought of you seen that meme where it's like Homer Simpson and he just fades into the hedges when you said that and you think of that? Okay, and what would be your superpower for the greater good?

Speaker 1 24:15

I think mine would be like mind control.

Speaker 3 24:20

Okay. And I s and I say that because I don't it's probably just me. I don't know. It's just like I feel like common sense is not so common anymore. So I need to instill common sense back in people. I ain't trying to control your mind. Yeah, I just need to open that door back up because I feel like a lot of people's common sense door is closed and bolted. Yeah.

Speaker 4 24:44

And they got to borrow it and everything.

Speaker 5 24:47

Okay. Okay, let's go to number 16. So we're almost there. So what would be who would be at your dream dinner party once you get up to five people? They could be dead or alive. What would the cuisine be and are you cooking? So dream dinner party guests, up to five people, the cuisine and are you cooking? How many guests?

Speaker 1 25:14

Is it five?

Speaker 5 25:15

You said up to five. You can it could just be one if you want to either, but no more than five.

Speaker 1 25:22

Let's see. Michael Jackson. Okay. Michael Five.

Speaker 5 25:26

So this is after the concert. After you've done shut the concert down. Now y'all about to go.

Speaker 3 25:29

Yeah, I always said the car. Y'all about to go to Walker. You know, we hear the rumors and stories about Mike. Yeah, you just get down like some chicken stuff.

Speaker 5 25:46

Okay, so Michael, I said are you sticking with your same concert lineup or do you want to change it?

Speaker 3 25:53

You know, actually, I stick with them.

Speaker 5 25:55

And then add, can I add one in there? Nope. Because really, you're already over five. Because it's literally only five. Yeah, as I'm saying, I'm giving you a little bit of latitude. So it's literally so it's only be five people. You busted with the Isley brothers.

Speaker 3 26:11

Yeah, I use them last. My apologies. So yeah, I roll with them five, five, we'll say five-ish. Since I said the Isley brothers.

Speaker 5 26:19

Yes. Okay, so what's the cuisine?

Speaker 1 26:23

Uh soul food. Okay. Are you cooking? No. Okay. That's fine.

Speaker 5 26:32

Okay, so that takes us to number 17. If a day in your life had a voiceover, whose voice would it be?

Speaker 3 26:40

I'm gonna go with Morgan Freeman.

Speaker 5 26:42

Okay. He's a popular choice. All right. Number 18. What is a weirdly specific ick that you have? Or something that makes you go ick? If you need an example, let me know. I got one on deck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know I need an example. Okay, so for me, something that makes me go ick is like if I'm watching TV or a movie or whatever, and people kiss weird, like if they kiss with their mouth open or they just just looks really ick. Nobody just it's the ill. It's just it gives me the icks.

Speaker 3 27:18

I feel like we me and you talked about this before.

Speaker 5 27:22

We may have. I mean, we had like so we've had so many conversations over the years, but that one I know. I'm still if I said it back then, my answer has not changed changed because that still gives me the ick.

Speaker 3 27:34

Let's see. What is uh basically something that'd drive me crazy?

Speaker 5 27:39

Or just literally makes you say ick or ew. I'll give you ew as well.

Speaker 3 27:46

It's like uh I don't know if there's one when you know you watch watch a new movie and they asking you questions like you've seen it before.

Speaker 5 27:55

Ah, okay.

Speaker 3 27:56

I'm just I'm just like, you know, this I got a I got a couple homeboys like that. Like, bro, this is the first time this is new, it's new release. I don't understand how you ask me to be like that grinds my gears. I'm getting up kind of slightly upset thinking about it right now.

Speaker 28:15

Like, how do you fix your lips?

Speaker 1 28:19

I can't hear it in your voice, but yeah, at that you know me.

Speaker 3 28:24

Hey, what is going on? Like, I apologize. Are you serious, bro? I got here the same time you got here.

Speaker 2 28:33

It said newly released, and we all said, dang, we ain't watched that yet. Let's watch it. It's new.

Speaker 5 28:42

Touche. Yep, that's a valid one. Yeah, all right. So number 19. So two more to go. What would the name of your signature sent or cologne be?

Speaker 3 28:55

Hmm. It would be uh, you know what? I'll say mun.

Speaker 5 29:02

Mun? M-U-N?

Speaker 3 29:04

M-O-N. Mun.

Speaker 5 29:05

Like, what does that mean? Day? What does mun mean?

Speaker 3 29:09

Actually, that's one of my nicknames, my childhood nicknames.

Speaker 5 29:12

Ah, okay, okay, okay. I'm thinking like in foreign languages. It's like where have I? I'm scrolling. Tote it down.

Speaker 3 29:21

You're too intelligent. Tote it down. We are on a third fourth grade level right now.

Speaker 4 29:28

But you know what? That might even be day in another language, but I literally was like, what does that mean?

Speaker 5 29:33

And sounds so familiar. Okay, that's cute. So why would why would you call it that? And extra points, even though I'm not keeping score, and then no prizes at the end of this. What would it smell like? Like, what would the notes be if you really are into cologne or just like what would the overall essence of mun be?

Speaker 3 29:54

It's kind of like a a masculine smell that uh like a like a tad bit of vanilla mixed with what is the other smell? And it's funny you say smells, because I've been lately I've been like reading all up on the different smells of clones and stuff like that. Just just a tad bit of vanilla, but laced with a uh like a fall type uh winter fragrance.

Speaker 5 30:25

Hmm. So maybe like a little cedar?

Speaker 3 30:29

Yeah, see, but I gotta be, I say cedar, but I like it, but I have to be careful. Yeah. I found out that basically allergic to it and it gets me going.

Speaker 5 30:42

Oh wow. Okay, well, not cedar then.

unknown 30:45

Hmm.

Speaker 3 30:46

No, no, we'll put the cedar in there because it's you willing to risk death? Maybe a little bit. I'm willing to well, you know, it gets it gets my it gets my allergies going. What about pine?

Speaker 5 30:58

Like just a little, I mean, just not a heavy hand, so you smell like pine salt pine, but just a little, just a little razzle dazzle to get their attention.

Speaker 3 31:07

Yeah. Just where's their little what they say, a little pinch?

Speaker 5 31:11

Yeah. Okay. So vanilla with the pinch of pine or cedar. That is a manly scent. Yeah, but it's kind of balanced. The vanilla might bring it down a little bit so it's not so brawny paper towel. Yeah.

unknown 31:30

Interesting. Okay.

Speaker 3 31:31

That projection on it.

Speaker 5 31:33

Listen to you speaking of lingo. All right. So, number 20, what is your definition of self-care?

Speaker 3 31:40

Oh, that is something I've been learning to do for myself. And self-care is the pretty much, of course, you know, on the hygiene level. The don't be the typical man and just use a bar, soap, wash your face. Actually, buy facial wash and get moisturizers for your face and take care of, you know, you gotta take care of your feet. I do that every month now. I go get a pedicure.

unknown 32:08

Okay.

Speaker 3 32:10

Yeah, I gotta, I gotta, you know, my feet wasn't like Jeep's creepers, but still the I'm I'm able to wear some sandals and not be ashamed. Um, I'm out here just in case somebody need a foot model.

Speaker 4 32:23

Because if you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready.

Speaker 3 32:26

Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 32:27

Like, boom, you ain't about to catch me with Jeebus Creepers.

Speaker 4 32:30

Did somebody say they needed a foot model?

Speaker 2 32:33

Yeah, exactly. Somebody said they take a pictures.

Speaker 4 32:36

You come busting through like a Kool-Aid man.

Speaker 2 32:41

Oh yeah. Foot spread, through spread, whatever. Like, damn. No cheese rate over here.

Speaker 5 32:58

Right on. Okay, and we have reached the other one's meditation.

Speaker 1 33:04

I'm sorry. I don't know.

Speaker 3 33:05

Kind of meditation, kind of time for yourself.

Speaker 1 33:07

Yeah.

Speaker 3 33:08

Meditation. You know, put everything down, just play the music, or just go outside and just listen to the, you know, listen to the choir, and just listen to nature or something.

Speaker 5 33:18

I love it. All right. We've now reached 21. And this question is what would the title of your autobiography be?

Speaker 3 33:27

Uh who in the hell let the gate open?

Speaker 4 33:39

Okay. Is there a subtitle, or is that just that's just it? Who the hell let the gate open?

Speaker 3 33:48

The autobiography. Yeah, who the hell left the gate open by Damien?

unknown 33:54

Okay.

Speaker 5 33:58

Would you do oh okay. Bonus question. Would you do the audio for your book, or would you have somebody else read it?

Speaker 3 34:06

I would. I do the audio because those who know me, when you read it, you can hear my voice. Yes.

Speaker 5 34:13

Yeah, yeah. You'd be doing the world a disservice if you didn't read it. So Colleen. Alrighty. So that was the 21. We're going to take a little break and then we'll get into the one. Okay. All right, y'all. So we're all warmed up. And now we're going to get into the one, which is one question, one moment, and one real conversation. So the one I have for you. So what do you want your future self, your future you to thank present you for?

Speaker 1 34:47

Let's see. One not giving up and not settling. Yeah.

Speaker 3 34:55

Because I know, like, I'll say I'm slowly becoming my future self now, but my my present self was, you know, the military. Military is all I knew.

Speaker 1 35:05

Yeah.

Speaker 3 35:06

You know, joined the 17, this is go go. And then, you know, being in the healthcare realm too. But now it's like as I slowly evolve with that foundation of healthcare, but now I'm moving toward the IT slash, you know, I'm going into cybersecurity. And I'm not gonna lie to you, when I signed up for it, I was nervous. It was crazy. I was nervous, like, man. My heart was uh beating fast, and I almost gave up on myself and almost quit before I even started. And I was just like, I I'd rather go back to Iraq or Afghanistan. Like, this is crazy.

Speaker 5 35:45

It was that's wow, that's major.

Speaker 3 35:49

Yeah, because I was just so institutionalized and just like, you know, health, it's gonna be health care and health and health. But then I had to kind of have an honest conversation with myself. Like, you know, it's like, why are you clipping your wings for, you know, you got to continue to soar? You made it this far. And knowing, you know, not knowing, but you didn't think you would, nor did a few people didn't think you would neither succeed as well as you did. So he's like, why stop now? Why plateau yourself? Continue to rise.

Speaker 5 36:22

Yeah. So once you pressed the button, or once you applied, or whatever, did you have like an immediate sense of relief, or were you still like in your head with it?

Speaker 3 36:34

Oh no, I I had an immediate sense of relief.

Speaker 1 36:38

Wow, that's great.

Speaker 3 36:38

I think it was after the, I'm sorry, it was after when I applied, and I went until my first time being in class, that's when the kind of the weight started lifting off my shoulders. Like, okay, yeah, I'm supposed to be here.

Speaker 5 36:51

Wow. That's pretty cool. For me, so I'll add into the question what I want my future self to thank my present self for. I mean, similar to what you're saying, you know, starting over at any point in your life is scary. Especially if you had a certain level of success doing XYZ or you're known for being XYZ, and for you to pivot, you know, it's like it's crazy. So for me, like say it's literally the same thing. So when I a few years back, I applied to Howard. And like before I applied, I was like, oh, you know what? I'm gonna apply to Howard, I'm a lot of Howard. But I never did. You know, I kept telling people this, but on the back end of that, what I wasn't saying is that I'm scared. I'm scared to do it because what did they say now? And so when I finally did it, you know, that's why I was asking, like, did you did you feel a sense of relief once you submit it? Because that was me. Like once I did it, I was like, you know what, I put it out into the universe. If it happens, it's great. It was meant to be. If it didn't happen, then it wasn't, or either I need to try harder, but you know, I'll deal with it accordingly. So when I got that email, you know, that congratulations, it was like, oh my God. Like, okay, yeah, that's what it was about. And then just, you know, fast forward four years four years later to now the present, having graduated. And it's like, okay, now it's like, what are you gonna do now? You you went to school, you you wanted to do interior design, which is what I'm doing, which is a departure from what everybody, you know, for the most part associates with, associates me with, which is IT. It's like, okay, now I'm back at day one type of thing, like, you know, trying to build my reputation and build my brand in a totally different field. And it's like, it's scary. And it's like, what in the world? And I'm not getting the traction that I want. You know, I want to put something out. People are like, ooh, that's the greatest. And how to sign me up. And it's sometimes it's crickets, if I'm gonna be real, you know, post or whatever. And sometimes it's nothing that comes back. And that, you know, that'll get you will get me and my feelings, because you know, I'm an artist and I'm sensitive about my, you know. So, but it's like, you know what? I just gotta re-attack. You know, I'm gonna take this L for right now, but I'm not gonna, it's not gonna keep me down. So it's like my future self was gonna look back and like, okay, wow, that was awesome. You know, you went through, you learned the lessons that you needed to learn to get us to this point of success that I know I'm going to get to. It's just taking a little bit longer than I would like. But on that same note, I just graduated in May. So it's just what, December? So it's like, I gotta be realistic and gentle with myself, but also know that it's not gonna be as seamless as I would like. But you know, that's life, right?

Speaker 3 39:37

Right.

Speaker 5 39:38

So yeah.

Speaker 3 39:39

It's crazy because, like you said, when you go back to like 2012, 2013. You know, I was in the healthcare side of the house, used IT side of the house, and here we are, you're in the interior side of the house. I'm I'm in the, you know, not T sidehouse. So we had this kind of, I don't know if you remember, we had this conversation because I remember you, you know, brought up one of the hobbies you like to do. And I was just like, well, you know, why don't you do it? And it's kind of, you know, I already knew the answer, just like you knew the answer to me. It's like, well, you know, I've been doing my career for this long. So it's like, you know, like you said, starting over. People, you know, people say, well, you know, I'm gonna start a new chapter. I'm like, I get that. Not here and I understand it. Like, no, I'm starting a whole new book. Like you need the chapter, I'm starting a whole new book. Like this healthcare book is is is done. I'm starting a whole new book. You know, not to disregard what I did in the past, because I definitely learned a lot and stuff like that. But you know, we know ourselves, and then it's like a double-edged sword. We also are our own greatest enemy, too. So we gotta be mindful and be careful. We, you know, we can mess around and get in us our heads and definitely, you know, set us back. So you just gotta, you know, continue to do what you do, plant that seed, and continue to grow. You know, I got faith in you.

Speaker 5 41:00

I appreciate you. Same for you. Um, I'd also ask, is do the thing that scares you. And a lot of times, like when I'm when I'm trying when I'm vacillating between things, like, okay, do I play it safe and you know, stay up on this good, good, comfortable couch? Um, or do I do the thing that that scares me? And it's like right now it's more leaning towards the thing that scares me. So, you know, a reasonable risk, you know, calculated risk, obviously. But the thing that, you know, definitely makes my heart beat. But I know that once I get on the other side of it, where there's pressing sin, you know, sending out proposals, sending out applications or whatever it might be, once I get on the other side of it, I know it'll be okay. But those initial moments or days or whatever, when you, you know, when you got that soundtrack playing, it's like, yeah, no, this, this, this wouldn't it? I should have I should, you know, do something else. But you know, you press through and get on the other side of it.

Speaker 1 42:04

Oh yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

Speaker 5 42:09

And you know what I just realized? I don't know, I think I might have skipped a question in the 21. Did I ask you if you had a soundtrack or theme song what it would be?

Speaker 42:21

Oh, you didn't.

Speaker 5 42:22

Yeah, I did skip it. Okay, so when I said soundtrack, I was like, huh, I didn't ask them what a soundtrack would be. So um, let's go back.

Speaker 42:31

That was the that was the rewind sign.

Speaker 2 42:36

We we still we still use the tape, and here we are in 2025. It's crazy.

Speaker 4 42:48

So, number nine, the real number nine this time.

Speaker 5 42:51

If you had a soundtrack or a theme song, what would it be?

Speaker 3 42:55

Let's see a soundtrack or a theme song. So who sings that song? And I know it and I I hear it too.

Speaker 1 43:04

Song called because I lose mine every every time. Let me explain.

Speaker 3 43:14

A song called uh is it called uh Yeah, I Want to Thank You by Alicia Myers.

Speaker 5 43:21

I don't know that one.

Speaker 3 43:24

Don't worry, I'll send it to you right now. I appreciate you.

Speaker 5 43:27

I think what I'm gonna do is every time somebody suggests a song throughout this season, I'm gonna keep it and then create a playlist. So that'll be the playlist. That'll be the soundtrack to season two. It's all right.

Speaker 3 43:39

Oh, yeah, that's a smart move. You know what I mean? King of playlists.

Speaker 5 43:44

Yes. It's all right. So that was the episode, episode three of season two of a refreshing conversation. Thank you so much for joining in and participating and being willing and literally answering. My call when I was like, Hey, do you mind? Could you be on? And you were like, Yeah, sure now. So thank you for that.

Speaker 3 44:10

You're very welcome.

Speaker 5 44:12

Thanks for listening. I hope you got some good laughs, some good vibes, and some great insight. Because there's always something to talk about when you have a refreshing conversation. Until next time.