Our unexpected paths to homeschooling: Exploring our options with Lyndsie Iiams

In this heartfelt and honest conversation, I sit down with Lyndsie Iiams, a fellow homeschooling food allergy mom and social media creator, to talk about how our journeys led us to educate our children at home. Neither of us ever expected to homeschool, but food allergies reshaped how we viewed our children’s safety, learning environment, and emotional well-being.

We discuss the myths about homeschooling, the challenges, the unexpected joys we’ve discovered, and why our decisions were not driven solely by fear. We share our deep respect for teachers and the incredible work they do, while acknowledging that for our families, this path has been a better fit for our families.

Whether you’re a food allergy parent curious about homeschooling, a professional supporting these families, or simply someone interested in alternative education, this episode offers perspective, encouragement, and practical considerations for making informed choices.

Special thanks to Kyle Dine for permission to use his song The Doghouse for the podcast theme!
www.kyledine.com

Find Dr. Whitehouse:
-thefoodallergypsychologist.com
-Instagram: @thefoodallergypsychologist
-Facebook: Dr. Amanda Whitehouse, Food Allergy Anxiety Psychologist
-welcome@dramandawhitehouse.com

Transcript

Speaker: 0:01

Welcome to the Don't Feed the Fear podcast, where we dive into the complex world of food allergy anxiety. I'm your host, Dr. Amanda Whitehouse, food allergy anxiety psychologist and food allergy mom. Whether you're dealing with allergies yourself or supporting someone who is, join us for an empathetic and informative journey toward food allergy calm and confidence..

0:21

For many food allergy parents, navigating school systems can feel like a balancing act, managing safety, trust, and our children's needs while wanting them to thrive socially and academically. Today I'm joined by Lyndsie Iiams. A fellow homeschooling food allergy mom, and a food allergy advocate who's sharing about her family's journey and all of the interconnected parts, homeschooling, managing food allergies, healthy living and cooking, living on a budget, and even a little bit of adorable fashion thrown in there. We talk about how both of our paths to homeschooling our families began. the misconceptions, the surprising freedoms, the right and wrong reasons to do it, the ways Homeschooling has allowed us to create a learning environment that works for our families and our kids, and appreciating the privilege of having choices. We are not here to convince you to homeschool. We are not recruiting for the homeschooling squad, but we did wanna have an open conversation about this because we know that there are people out there who are curious about it just like we once were.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 1:21

Lyndsie, thank you so much for being here on the show. I am so excited to connect with you. We have so much in common and I'm excited to talk to you about it. Yes, thanks so much for having me. Of course. I'm so glad we connected and you were so open and willing to just get to know each other and, and talk about this thing that I feel like is not all that uncommon, but for some reason I just don't think we hear a lot about it out there., Specifically within the food allergy community, do you hear people talking a lot about homeschooling?

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 1:48

Um, not so much like on social media. Uh, publicly. Mm-hmm. Um, but I am in a few like allergy mom groups where I see more homeschool moms. Yeah.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 2:03

Yeah. And I was thinking almost it's the opposite in the allergy community. I don't see a lot of talk about it, but in the homeschool communities, I know a lot of the people are talking about their food allergies there. So it's kind of like, where do they overlap in that Venn diagram? Right. So you are on social media sharing about your homeschooling journey, How did you end up deciding to create this account to share about it?

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 2:26

Well, so we found out my kiddo had food allergies when he was six months old and um, I just knew that I couldn't go back to work and I didn't really want to put him in a school setting, and I just felt so alone. Food allergies, and I wanted the whole world to know that he has food allergies. If anybody ever spotted my kid out somewhere, I want them to know that he's the GTO with food allergies. Not to like separate him, but like to keep him safe.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 2:59

Mm-hmm.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 3:00

And so it just felt natural in a way for me to just talk about it and to spread awareness.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 3:08

You have two kids? I do. Okay. Your younger son? Does he not have any food allergies?

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 3:13

He does not. Um, it wasn't always that way. When he was about nine months old, he did react to garlic powder, like full-blown face hives and all over his neck. Um, and so we got him tested and he did positive through blood work to garlic. Okay. And then when we did that blood work, we had him tested for like a full panel and then he came back allergic to peanuts. So I was very afraid that he'd be allergic to peanuts. Um, but then when he hit about, uh, it was one and a half or two, we did a food challenge with him, um, for peanut butter, and he passed and then eventually we did garlic years later and he passed that as well. So.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 3:57

That's good. Garlic seems like it'd be very hard to avoid. I'm, I come from an Italian family, so maybe I'm biased, but it's in almost everything. Right? And it's not a Top 9.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 4:07

Right. Isn't everything. And actually, you know, so our allergist was like, avoid garlic at all costs. But I was giving him sausage. Just cut it up real small. And then I looked up the ingredients one day and I was thinking, you know, I don't see garlic in this. I'm gonna email the company and they said, yes, we do in fact co our. Our sausage with garlic. So I had been giving it to him all the time, but it was cooked. I gave our allergist that and they said, okay, well we should move forward with like, giving him a food challenge. Or you know, just keep on giving that to him. That's what we did.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 4:49

How soon did you decide then that you were gonna homeschool When did you make the decision?

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 4:54

Oh, I, I remember mother-in-law saying to me when it comes time to put him in school, and it was like immediate, right when she said that, it was like, I don't think I can put him in school. I can't, put him in a class full of 25 to 30 kids where you have one, maybe two teachers to safely. Educate him with all the class parties that you have and all the projects that you know, have food that are involved. I, it was just immediate after she said that, and it was, he was probably two, I would think, but it was always in the back of my mind, like I, I didn't want to drop him off at a daycare. I didn't. I wanna put'em in school. Mm-hmm. And I'm from South Carolina originally, and there it was, I got so much crap. I got so much feedback and it was, it was not comfortable, um, because homeschooling is not prominent there. And so I immediately became this parent that was. You know, the helicopter parent and, you know, I was not doing the traditional thing of sending him to school. But then, uh, my husband got a job offer, which would ultimately put us in Oklahoma. And when we were considering that, I looked at the Oklahoma laws, homeschool laws, and they were free. Compared to what it is in South Carolina, there's a lot of rules and regulations. And it was kind of like, I think this is meant to be, I think we're meant to be in Oklahoma and we moved out here when he was five. Um, and that would be here that we actually started homeschooling. And it was amazing because the neighborhood that we moved into, I mean probably a third of us are homeschooled

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 6:56

homeschool families. Oh. Did you know that? Is that how you chose your home? No. No. Oh my goodness.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 7:04

No,

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 7:05

that's wonderful. I'm, I'm a little jealous as I'm hearing you talk because it was, it's, I'm in New York and we have a highly regulated homeschool law situation going on up here. So I just finished this week. My educational plans are due to the school district and I was going through, I've got three kids spread out across all the ages, so I'm going through the checklist of hours in which subjects for each one, um, and it's totally worth it. I don't mind doing it. Um, sure. How free is it there? How much do you have to report and, and share with your school district that you're doing Zero.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 7:37

Nothing.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 7:38

Nothing.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 7:38

Oh my goodness. I know but I keep records in folders of everything. Mm-hmm. Because I feel like not maybe one day it won't always be like that. And I like to, you know, I'm one that protects everything at all costs, so,

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 7:55

yeah. But yeah. Yeah, it's good and it's good I think, just to track your own progress and know what you've covered and things like that probably too. Right?

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 8:03

Yes.. I don't like to hold onto everything in life, like I'm very minimalist, but when it comes to their schoolwork and their records, a thousand percent, even their medical records, I've got medical binders. You just never know.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 8:16

Well, as allergy moms, we're kind of primed to do that anyway, right? I'm thinking of my binders and folders of all the years and years of blood work and you know, putting them in excel. Documents to compare them over time and all that stuff Yes. It's a good skill to have if you're gonna homeschool your kids Right. I just keep thinking about how you moved into this neighborhood with all of these homeschoolers, because I had such an opposite experience. I went a school psychologist by training, I had no intention to homeschool either. We moved into this district that's like one of the best school districts. And of course this. School taxes are outrageous and I set up this whole experience to have a wonderful, amazing school future ahead for my kids. And now we're not utilizing many of it. Yes. there are some homeschoolers in our neighborhood. Um, I think people have this misconception that as homeschoolers we are isolated. And of course, you know, oh no, are kids getting socialized? That stereotypical question that we get, and here you are with a third of your community. All right there together homeschooling. Tell me what it's like for you,

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 9:17

Well, that part of it is amazing, but I did get a lot of. Kickback in the very beginning of, you know, so your kids getting socialized, but being in this community, like we have a pond next door and a playground, a couple houses down, and, um, it, it's just so funny because like this morning, you know, with all intentions of waking up and doing our schoolwork. I kind of go with their flow, right? I don't wanna push them. I, if they're not willing to sit down in our classroom, then I'm not gonna get anywhere with them. They wanted to go fishing. My kid, my boys love fishing. And so they went to the pond and then lo and behold, 15 minutes later, the kids down the street come over and now school's already started and where we are, um, like public school and so. You know, at nine 30 in the morning, they're fishing with other kids in the neighborhood. We just had a slow morning At that point. I had breakfast and got some quiet time to myself, and I walked out on the front porch, my cup of coffee in hand, and I just looked over at them and that's just so. Gratifying for me. I mean, they are socializing and they're outside, they're in nature and they're doing what they love. And I let them spend an hour out there and they came inside and I sat down with my youngest and he may have smelled like fish, but. We knocked out language arts, you know,

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 10:51

It sounds so picturesque. First of all, you know, I think a lot of people are reminiscent for these childhoods that a lot of us had when we were younger. That don't happen anymore'cause kids are so busy and overscheduled. And I think we disregard the wisdom that kids have. Like if your kids woke up and it's beautiful outside and they just know what they need to regulate and be ready for school and it's not diving right in. I bet he was so much more productive and attentive after doing that for a little bit.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 11:17

Yes. Yes. They love basketball too, so it's like. After we get done language arts, if you wanna go down the street and play basketball for 30 minutes and then come back and let's tackle another subject, that's what we can do. You're right, it's very picturesque and I'm so grateful for it. But please don't get me wrong, not every day, right? Not every day is easy. And there are so many struggles and there are questions of can I do this? Am I. You know, qualified to be doing this. Should I be doing this? Would they be further along if, they were in a classroom setting? But I'm just trusting the process. I believe that, parents can be the perfect teachers.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 12:03

100% of I even more so appreciate teachers now because I have three at home. I can't imagine having a classroom full of kids. Absolutely no shade whatsoever to teachers or or public schools. Or private schools, but at home It's so individualized in terms of what they need to master something. So if reading at school is a 45 minute class, but my son only needed. 15 minutes to grasp the concept, but then later in the day, math was harder for him and he needed more time with that. I think when you say, are they gonna be behind? Or am I qualified to do this? I think as long as we're in connection with the kids and what they need, we can customize it so much to what they're actually needing, it's comparing apples to oranges, it's just so different that we meet their needs in a different way when it's so personalized.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 12:50

A thousand percent. I love to see how their brains work, but what I need to equip their brains to work, right? So individualized learning. I have one kid that's learns way different, than the other. So., And also I give it teachers because like you said, you have three and I have two, and

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 13:18

it's

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 13:18

hard. What's the hardest part for you? Oh, that is a great question. Um, I think the hardest part for me is just continuing to tell myself that I'm enough and that we, we are doing enough. Um, because I'll always wonder, I think I'll always wonder if, if they will eventually thrive off of what I've given them at home.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 13:52

What do you do when that thought or that emotion pops up? How do you manage it or how do you work yourself through it?

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 13:59

I picture them at school where they've never been and. I think about them being there versus in the safety of our home. And I don't just say that, with just food allergies. I think about every, I think about a lot of things.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 14:17

Mm-hmm.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 14:18

Um, and so I just, I work through that, that way. I talk to my husband, I pray, and I ultimately just give them the best that I can and hope that God kind of fills in the gaps.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 14:33

We can go with the flow in terms of what's coming up to us and finding a gap and, and then adjusting the sails accordingly. That's one of the things that I, when I fall into that spot, I remind myself it's necessary, again, when you're educating a large group of kids, moving them through to make sure that someone doesn't fall through the cracks. But if there are things that we acknowledge, whether it's academic or any other area that they need, we can have the freedom and the flexibility to take care of it when we realize it's a need. Right. Right.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 15:05

Yes,

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 15:06

absolutely. So what's the easiest part or the best part?

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 15:11

Just the, uh, fluidity of homeschooling and. Like watching them think and being there for every moment and knowing like I have brought them in this far. Um, the, it's very rewarding in that part, um, knowing that they are learning under our roof and I am keeping them as safe as I can. Um. There's a lot of great parts, just a couple days ago, we were playing a math game and it was like a level that was a grade level above than what my youngest is at. And so my oldest already knew like all questions, right? I mean, it hit everything like fractions and addition, subtraction, multiplication, and. When my youngest grabbed a card and it was fractions, and I knew that he hadn't done fractions yet, it's like, oh, I know that he's not gonna know this, right, because we haven't touched that. So in fact, he did know, like he knows half like, sure. It was like, what is this half of something? But it was labeled as a fraction question. So I. I knew that it wasn't, that we've touched base with, but he also, he knows when something's on sale and 50% off, he knows how to do that math. So anyway, it's just knowing like where he is like it, it's knowing, I don't know. I think about parents who do send their kids off to school and it's like, how much do you know of what your kid has learned already? Does it make sense?

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 16:59

Mm-hmm.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 17:00

I know every book that he's read, you know, like every game that he's played. It's just knowing all those things is so satisfying and gratifying to me.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 17:10

There's something to be said for having teacher after teacher and, and multiple adults in your kids' life that are a positive influence. Yes. But there's also, for us, something to be said. Of us holding that whole repository of information and remember back in first, you know, when you were nine and we went to this museum and we can connect some of the dots that can't be connected by teachers who haven't been there all the way through, I find. Yes. Well said. You made me think of one of my favorite parts, which I just thought was the coolest, most rewarding experience was to be the one. To see my kids reading unfold, to see them unlock that and the way that the world opens up to them once they can start to read and parents get to experience that with their kids too. But there just was a different level of that one. I was the one giving that to them in a way. I don't know if, have you had a moment like that where it's like, this is the coolest thing I could give you? Yeah, for sure.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 18:05

Reading is a struggle for one of my kiddos. Um, so I wish I could have that same thing with reading, but definitely in different areas I've had that

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 18:15

it's so interesting how two kids in the same house or my case, three kids all in the same house, and one thing can be. Come so easily for one, and for the other one, for it to be so different and for them to each have their own strengths that I think we get to emphasize, it's all about you and what you need at every step of the way. Yes. Yeah.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 18:34

Were you homeschooled?

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 18:36

I wasn't,

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 18:37

were

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 18:37

you?

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 18:38

No.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 18:38

No, I

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 18:39

wasn't.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 18:39

I kinda wish I was. I do too. I, to be fair, I love school. I, I was in a small town. I had great teachers. I'm still in touch with many of them. I had a great education and I have nothing against it, but I, yes, I wish that I could have been because. I would've just eaten it up, like being able to dive into subjects and to, to share them with my parents in a way that, you know, when I was so excited about something new that I was learning. How about you?

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 19:07

No, I was not homeschooled. Um, and but wasn't from a small town like you were. That sounds dreamy though.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 19:15

It was, it was very like old fashioned, good old, good old fashioned childhood that I had. Your educational experience wasn't great. No,

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 19:25

it wasn't. I didn't learn a lot in school. We weren't pushed, you know, and it was like all about memorizing things just to take that test.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 19:36

Mm-hmm.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 19:38

And so I am redoing my education with my kids, and I've said this multiple times. I will probably go to college with them too. We were part of a co-op for five years that was so fantastic. They did public speaking and I looked at them from the time that they were four and five. You know, getting up in front of their class and doing these presentations, I'm like, man, this is amazing. And what it's equipping them for. They've come so far, they've come so far. I Wish that I was just pushed more and I was always, I think, um, seen as a smart kid in school and I was, don't get me wrong, like I knew, um, I knew how to study and to get ready for the test, but I didn't necessarily care about my academics. I was in all the clubs. Um. But I, I would've loved to do this learning alongside my parents.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 20:45

Well, and it, for me, it's really exciting now to get to do it. Like you, you know, you said you're, you're redoing your education. And for me that's really fun because I'm discovering now. History is so fascinating, I love learning, again, the stuff that wasn't my strongest interest when I was younger. And I think it sets a good example of the fact that we can, right? I think the values around education have changed because we all have a computer in our pocket, so if you don't know the date of something, you can look it up. If you can't remember how to divide that fraction, you can look it up. But if you know how to learn, and even more importantly, if you like learning, like if you find it interesting when you don't know something to seek out the answer, I think that's more important than any specific information that they retain. Absolutely. I totally agree. You mentioned your co-op, I don't know if a lot of people out there who don't homeschool know that we have these groups. It sounds like maybe you're not in it anymore, but let's talk about our co-ops a little bit.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 21:41

Yeah. This is gonna blow your mind. I think when we moved here, it was just so perfect. Not only the community that we moved into, but the co-op that we joined. I had. Talked to the director and talked about our food allergies, and that was ultimately the reason why I started Ling. She moved me to a co-op where there were already kiddos that had food allergies and most of those co-ops, it was like, bring your own lunch to co-op kind of deal.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 22:13

Mm-hmm.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 22:14

This specific co-op had a community lunch that just left out the allergens. And I think at the time that we joined there was like a peanut allergy, a gluten allergy, and then we were coming in with milk and egg, or there already was a milk and egg allergy. So. I became the lunch lady for the co-op. I prepared lunch for like 40 kids that were gluten free, peanut free, milk free and egg free. So I would assign each family to bring something and yeah, it was great. We did that for five years and I loved that because one of my fears was like even in a co-op. You know, kids like eat snacks like Cheetos or something, and then not wipe their hands and then Everybody's sharing, and now you have this Cheeto residue on those crayons. And so, although like something topical like. My son does get hives. Um, if he touches his allergen, it wouldn't necessarily harm him unless he put his fingers in his mouth, but at that age, a younger age. I mean, that could happen, right? So anyway, just having the community that I can control, um, you know, we did have snack time and I had, I created a list of snacks that everybody could bring that was free. Of those allergens, it worked out really great. What type of location did you meet in?

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 23:55

It was at a church. Okay. All right. Ours wasn't quite as extensive as yours. The co-op that we're with now used to meet at a church in a, in, you know, a school space in the church. Um. They also are, it's a peanut and tree nut-free co-op. And then there are a lot of families with other allergens too. Um, but we, they just, we just don't do meals together. Now, when we first joined, oh my gosh. So, okay. So I had kind of a nightmare experience when I first joined. It wasn't the the co-op's fault, but it was just the perfect storm of like, life not going my way at that moment. Yeah, so I had a 4-year-old, a, a toddler just over one, and then a, well, he was almost two, and then a baby just under one. They were really close together and showed up at this co-op trying to, you know, join in and get myself outta the house with this kid that I just decided to homeschool. Thinking all's gonna be well, right? It's a peanut tree nut free co-op, but of course, the. The lunch room where we ate was used by other people So like the very first day there was peanut butter smeared under the table and my son got into that. And then we were in a music class and my toddler ran away and my, I didn't have anything to hold my baby in. So like some strangers holding my baby while I chased my toddler down. Then we go out for recess. There's walnuts. All over the playground. Oh my, my son starts getting hives. I scoop up all three kids and run to the bathroom. I leave my phone on the playground. One of the, the mom who was holding my baby earlier in the day that I didn't even know, chased me down with my phone. And then Lindsay, we get home and we happen to have contractors cleaning our, um, like our air ducts in the house that day. I'm just like, ready to come home and collapse and cry. Right. And I put my, the youngest down on the floor who's not walking yet, but, and he just crawls across. The the floor and starts screaming and I pick him up and he has these little spirals of metal in his hands and his knees because apparently where they drilled into the metal ducts, they scattered these shards. All through the house one of the worst days of my life. But this co-op that I love and is amazing, the first day that I went there is like just a nightmare of all of these awful things happening. Kudos

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 26:02

to you for facing that and returning back.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 26:06

Thank you. We, we finished that semester and we took a break and then, because just with the little ones and him being so young, you know, I, I don't know if I can accept the kudos fully because I did like. Shy away for a little bit. Um, but now, so we don't have a central location, but we, we have field trips. We do some online stuff. We have clubs. We, you know, meet at different people's houses and get together all the time. But even more so though it's so flexible, like people can just create the same way you're co-oped, just create what works for them and for the families who are involved. It's, again, it's not just the academics that are so individualized. The whole experience can be customized to the families involved.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 26:43

Exactly, exactly. Yeah. do y'all have, are y'all in sports at all or do you have like sports teams

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 26:49

My youngest is the only one who likes sports and he does some community sports, the first and second didn't really care about it. How about you? Because you said your kids play basketball too?

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 26:57

Yes, They both play basketball, one plays baseball, and my husband coaches both teams, just simply because my kiddos have asked them to do that. Um, and fortunately he's flexible enough to do it. Um, but we are just like the YMCA, sports club, in like our, our city youth group here. Mm-hmm. But yeah. Um. Of course we, we don't play with the schools. We're still at, you know, like little league type stuff. It's working for us right now.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 27:29

That's great. Apparently the homeschool laws, which are different from state to state, say that the, the schools can allow homeschoolers to participate. Right. But they don't have to, so most of them choose not to. Um, but, but you think it is tough just in terms of. Other kids getting that much more experience that, and you know, it's great if your kid can play on a school team and it's free. And I have to pay for every music lesson and sports event but, you know, any, anything that my kids wanna do that they might be getting as an amazing resource at school comes out of our pockets, which is a tough part of it.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 28:03

You nailed it. Yep. A thousand percent. It gets so expensive. Yeah. And I'm constantly like on my social media, like I'm saying, on a budget or on a budget, like we do this, but on a budget because I wanna nail home that it's not easy and like you are making huge sacrifices.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 28:23

I think people don't realize we still pay our school taxes. I've had people ask me that so many times, like, oh, if you don't send your kids, you don't have to pay. Right. I'm like, oh, we still do, and then there's the income thing too. So I don't know if you were working before you had kids or thought you would have been, or maybe you still are, how do you navigate that part of things?

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 28:40

Um, so. I was working in banking when I had my oldest, and I did not go back after having him, uh, because I wanted, if anything, I wanted to just work part-time. I did get 12 weeks maternity leave or, um, yeah, uh, I tried to go back as a newborn photographer at the hospital that didn't work out. Um, I just could not stand to be away from him. Of course, I'm breastfeeding and pumping and all the things. Um. My husband said, okay, just stay home. Let's do this. And for about two years I was just at home, nothing for income. But then I felt like I needed income. I did vinyl for a long time. Um, and then I started working for Pampered Chef. I mean, not careers, right? Just things to make a little bit. Of money at home. Um, and then two and a half years ago, I started, um, Amazon influencing and then like UGC creation, making videos for brands. And that's treated me really well. My kids can be involved. Um, I'm a huge thrifter and my oldest loves to thrift with me and I resell. So do I have a career? No, but I do help make in income for the

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 30:08

family. Yeah. And you don't have to answer this if it feels too personal, but does that work for you? Because I think some people feel like that's fine and some people feel like they're a person who really needs a career. There's no wrong or right. But I'm just curious how it feels for you.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 30:23

Sure. I am totally happy with it. And content and satisfied. Um. I, I didn't have, I, I don't have a college education. I didn't put a lot of money into school and so I just kind of feel like this is my calling is them first.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 30:46

I think in a way, we all Find ourselves in this position of what my kids need from me is what I'm supposed to be doing, whether it involves a career or not. Obviously I have tried to maintain my career and make it work for my family, which I'm so thankful is, is part of why we can homeschool. Um, because I can, you know, kind of be flexible. But I think all of us just want to do what's best for our kids and what, what we ended up needing to be as moms that we didn't know was gonna be asked of us. Right.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 31:13

That's right. Absolutely. I mean, I, I love looking at other communities, like kids with diabetes and just other things. Um, we kind of align in the same ways. It's like, I, I just follow so many other moms on social media who are doing everything they can to benefit their kids. You make it work.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 31:33

Yeah, you just find a way. Yeah, I find that there are a lot of people, it's almost like this taboo thing. Tell me if people say this to you, but they're like, I kind of wanna homeschool too, but I don't think we could make it work. And they don't talk about it. I don't think much to people in their lives. And I just want people to know that even if on the surface it seems which sometimes it is overwhelming. Yes. Sometimes it's, it's amazing and overwhelming. Um. But there are ways to make it work and to be flexible with it that I don't think people know are possibilities. And I just would encourage people to look into it if they want to, but think they can't.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 32:06

Yes, totally. And yes, I have had mom say that to me a lot, and I just wanna scream and yell and say, if I am doing it, anybody can do it.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 32:18

Right. Right. We make it work just like everything else. I never thought I could raise a child with severe food allergies and, you know, to the level of extreme reactions my kid used to have and figure out all of that. And, and I figured it out and we would've figured it out if we ended up sending him to school as well. Um, but just like that, you just learn as you go and you figure it out. Right. Right.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 32:42

I, you touched on a, a point there. Um, so when my husband and I met, he could tell you that I was not a good cooker. I mean, I messed up blue box macaroni and cheese. And we, we laugh at that now at how far I've come because now I've got my, my binder and my recipes and I teach our kiddos to cook. And that's school too. Right? And, uh. We have fun with it. And him, Scott and I, my husband and I, we used to eat out all the time when it was just him and I. And even when our son was just a baby, we would eat out a lot, as I think a lot of families do. Or maybe, maybe they don't, I don't know. But we don't, now we cook everything. Mm-hmm. And when we vacation, we vacation where there's places where there's a kitchen where I can still cook. So. Yeah, I, it's not even just the homeschool thing, um, but it's like, who knew that I could whip up a dish like that?

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 33:43

Right. And then the, the way you're describing it explains what I think. At least it has become, for us the whole, it's all one big picture of what kind of life we're creating for our kids that we didn't set out to, to do. I wasn't homeschooled. I, I, like I said, I'm a school psychologist. I fully intended to send my kids to school and work in a school and have the summers off with them. Um, but it's all part of this. A picture of the way our life is unfolding and people feel like, oh, you can't go to a restaurant on vacation. And I'm like, I saved$1,500 on my vacation because we didn't eat out three meals a day. And you know, no judgment to what you eat, but we actually like eating this way that we find is healthier for us. And all of these, they're all connected, right? It's not, it is little decisions. It really is. My goodness. Let's talk just a little bit more about. The impact that you think it has on the actual food allergy management for you or for your kiddo? How do you find homeschooling to fit into that piece of the puzzle? Well,

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 34:42

it's really easy for them to go fix themselves lunch, and I know it's in the kitchen and it's literally one less thing for me to think about. I mean, which is so helpful because even when. We're out at a field trip, right? I'm always worried about the safety of our kiddos. So let's say, say we're fishing, you know, all the kids are fishing. And even though my kids know how to fish and they're comfortable with hooking a worm and a hook, you know, I'm still, my thoughts are still on their safety. And then kids bring out snacks and like I'm talking to a mom. But I know that the kiddo that my. My kiddo is sitting next to, is eating a pack of Cheetos. My mind is still on, you know, managing that activity so when I can put them in our home. And the safety of our home with managing what I, I know what they're eating. It's just one last thing for me to think about. I mean, and they, they're professionals. They get in the kitchen. I'm not even kidding. They whip up a sandwich. And it's just an, it's so nice that I no longer have to fix those lunches for them. And sometimes I do, you know, if I am, maybe if I'm making a salad and they want a salad too, I'll make them that salad. Or if we're out of a dressing, like a salad dressing, you know, I'm, I make a lot of our salad dressings from scratch, then I'll, I'll make that dressing for them real quick. You know, it's just. It's just really nice. It's, yeah.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 36:19

And such a good skill for your kids to have. I mean, I find the same with mine obviously, especially if you have food allergies, cooking is a great skill and when they're home and able to do it, you know, any kid can learn to cook, but when they're off at school and then they have activities afterward and then homework, there's not necessarily a time in the day to teach them to do it the way your kids can just, you know, wander in and, and make something. So I love that they. Just happen to learn that and have the space to learn it in a natural way. Part of what you said that's really important too, the way that you feel when you're out and there might be an allergen in proximity or on surfaces, you know. The kids that I work with are thinking about those things when they're in school, so not all of them. And obviously everyone's level of reactivity is different, and it's different with a kindergartner whose hands are in their mouth than it is with a 10th grader. But. People will say like, well, there's allergens in the world. You can't protect them from them all the time. Yeah. Trust me, we know that, right? Yes, we understand, but can I, can I remove that worry? Is this a child who would benefit from that worry being removed so that they can learn their best? Not necessary for everybody, but I think for many kids that is really beneficial in their academics.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 37:25

I completely agree. Completely agree. My oldest, he's always been one to not be like touchy with other kids. And you know when you get younger kids, like they touch a lot. Oh yeah. They're in their space and because he is homeschooled, I think He's not a touchy kid and because also his food allergies, so maybe it's just not homeschool. Maybe it's his food allergens and he doesn't know where your hands have been, which, trust me as a mom, I'm a, I'm totally okay with that. I've always been okay with that. But like at our co-op, there was like a hand holding activity, you know, years ago and like he just did not, he was not feeling it and he kind of shut down and. Even though that was his safe space, it was just like, he didn't want to touch. Mm-hmm. And so I had to tell him, Hey, look, it's okay. Speak up. Use your voice. You, you're not comfortable with that. And so knowing that's how he was in a safe space, you know, put that in a a, a school setting, he, I believe he would've broken down and not spoken up, you know?

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 38:32

Right. Right. It's difficult for kids to do that for a lot of reasons, and I think just, I think you know this, but just to let you off the hook, I don't think he's not touchy feely because of you being homeschoolers. I mean I see. I'm sure you do too. The whole range of it, you know, from, from kids, and I think you know that. We do a lot of that in terms of like, oh no, is this, at least I do. Is this because we homeschool him? Is he struggling with this or is this this way? And I think our kids are pretty much, we know as moms, oh yeah. That he was that way since he was two. Right? So a lot of this stuff that we want to worry about, I think is our kids are who they are, and we can expand upon that. We can celebrate it, we can teach them things that are more challenging for them, but I don't think we have to blame ourselves for. You know, any of their traits or characteristics on homeschooling, yes. They're gonna, for the most part, become, who they are inside. Yes, totally. As we wrap up, what do you want people to know or understand about homeschooling, food allergies? The overlap of the two that we didn't get to?

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 39:35

I read something that you posted the other day and it said it was along the lines of. Be careful, not fearful. And man, that has really resonated with me and I have said it to Waylon my son a couple of times now. Um, so I'm gonna use, you know, take a, a piece of your puzzle and say that because if you are considering homeschooling, but you're letting fear take over and talk you out of it. I would just say be careful and not fearful because, um, it's doable and it gets there and it gets easier and you, you learn, you know, the years stack up on each other and you learn from the last year what didn't work. And you can always modify things. Um, if you're, if you're considering it, but you think that you can't do it, please know that you are capable. And it may turn out to be the, the best thing that's ever happened. Absolutely.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 40:42

And if it's not, you can change gears, right? You can always send them back if you wanna send them back to school. And I think one of the things, I'm glad that that line resonated. I think it's a really, just a really short, quick way to shift, right? To remind ourselves, and I wanna say the same neither you or I are here. Trying to convince people that they should homeschool their kids. Like we're not recruiting. Right? Yeah. We're just trying to talk about what something that we love. But I also, you know, I've talked to a lot of families in my therapy practice who, who want to homeschool out of fear and I. Don't encourage them to do that. Mm-hmm. So, you know, just as you're saying, don't be afraid of homeschooling, but don't also use homeschooling as a way to run away from all of the, the things that do cause you fear, because you know, that's not the place to do it from. We want to be careful about choosing the homeschool and not fearful, and we, we want to, do the same with the allergy management. We don't wanna just run in fear.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 41:36

You nailed this. You nailed this. I've gotta say this really quick. And thank you for saying that because when, after I had my second and I was postpartum and dealing with all the emotions and then, having my half year old and then a newborn, and then cooking all the things, just juggling all the things. I did go to therapist because I was having like all kinds of depression and stuff.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 42:02

Mm-hmm.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 42:02

And she asked me. The same question, um, that my mother-in-law had asked me at one point, like, what are you gonna do when it comes to school? Right? And I had mentioned homeschooling. And so we dove into that and she said, I need to tell you something. And I said, what is that? She said, I, it's great that you wanna homeschool, but if you choose to do that, don't let food allergies be the reason that you homeschool. Find it within your heart. To to be a reason, um, because you may resent things later.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 42:41

Absolutely. Choose it because it's what's right for you. Yes. And I think the benefit for me of food allergies is I never would've considered it. I never would've even thought of it as a possibility and discovered that it was such a good fit for us, if not. You agree,

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 42:57

right? Yes. And I have been asked if it's, if it wasn't for food allergies, would you homeschool? Have you ever been asked that?

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 43:03

Yeah, I have. And I a hundred percent. I never would've even thought of it. You. No. No.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 43:10

Man, I'm so glad.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 43:12

Me too. Oh my gosh. And my kids are so glad.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 43:15

I'm so glad. Just because it works like it's, it's a

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 43:19

fit for

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 43:19

us. That's

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 43:20

why I say that. Well, good. Well, I'm happy for both of us and I'm so glad that I connected with you. I know a lot of the people listening are going to want to follow you if they're not already. Every time I see what you share, it just makes me smile. Um, so please tell people where they can find you.

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 43:33

Sure. So I am Lyndsie K. L-Y-N-D-S-I-E-K-A-Y on Instagram, um, on TikTok. I'm food allergy mama, M-O-M-M-A two. I try to keep these things all the same everywhere. It's not easy. Yeah. Um, and then I just created a Facebook, um, it's called the Lyndsie K Edit and I like to be on all the things, so

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 44:03

there you go. I'll put all of that in the show notes for people who wanna find you and, I'm so glad that we got to connect and that you came here to chat with us about it. Thank you so much. Yes, thank you, Amanda. I

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 44:13

appreciate you

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 44:13

inviting me

Lyndsie Iiams (@lyndsiekay): 44:14

and having me.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 44:15

It was fun.

44:16

Bye. the message that Lyndsie and I wanna leave you with today is that there's no one right way to educate a child. So if homeschooling has been on your mind for years, this is the first time you've considered it. We hope that we've given you a little insight into our lives and what it's like and why we've chosen it. If homeschooling is not working for you or your child, whether it's due to food allergies or any other reason, we just want you to know that it's another option that is possible, so if you're curious. Here are three action steps you can take to learn more. You can follow Lyndsie on all of her socials that she just shared with you on Instagram at Lyndsie, K-L-Y-N-D-S-I-E-K-A-Y, on TikTok at Food Allergy Mama two, and Mama is M-O-M-M-A. And on Facebook at the at Lyndsie Kay edit. I'll also put all of those links in the show notes for you. Number two. You can follow my social media. I don't always remind everybody here on the podcast that I am trying to start sharing a little bit more on Instagram and Facebook at the food allergy psychologist. And if people are curious, I can share more about homeschooling, both from my perspective as a parent and through my professional lens as someone trained as a school psychologist and now homeschooling her own children outside of the public school system. Number three, where Lindsay Lives School is already back in session here where I live. Kids are just gearing up to go back after Labor Day. Wherever you are in that process, consider this a reminder to just pause and think through how school is going for your child, what they or you are excited about for the upcoming school year. What maybe didn't work well last year, what they're dreading. What the challenges are and think outside of the box in terms of considering solutions to those whatever they may be. Our journeys might all look different, but we all share the same goal, which is helping to keep our kids safe, help'them feel safe and supported in a way that allows them to do their best learning. If you enjoyed this conversation, please share it with a friend If you're enjoying the show, leave a rating or a review., So that the show can grow and we can continue learning from each other. Thanks for listening. the content of this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only, and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have any questions about your own medical experience or mental health needs, please consult a professional. I'm Dr. Amanda Whitehouse. Thanks for joining me. And until we chat again, remember don't feed the fear.