The Current
We're seeking inspiration toward deeper discipleship through conversations with people working toward justice, cultivating deep spiritual practices, forming community and connection in significant ways, and helping one another heal from trauma. As we follow Christ to the margins of society, to the wounded and grieving, and into the hard work of peacemaking, we find that we are not alone on this journey. Join us to resist despair, and to regain some hope in the world, in the church, and in Christ.
Most weeks, Pastor Chris Nafis is talking with scholars and practitioners who are inspiring and faithful, and some weeks Pastor Chris is engaging with the book of Acts. Each week, we find the Spirit calling us deeper into the death and resurrection of Jesus, into a life with God, and into loving one another well.
This is a ministry of Living Water Church of the Nazarene, which gathers in San Diego's East Village, the epicenter of homelessness in this city. We are committed to meaningful worship, community formation, and service. Join us sometime :)
The Current
Broken and Redeemed- Laura Davis Mansfield's Journey
What does the journey from success to rock bottom and back again really look like? Laura Davis Mansfield's story defies simple narratives about homelessness and addiction.
Growing up amid family dysfunction and trauma, Laura nonetheless excelled, becoming a star athlete and graduating from Lehigh University with dual degrees. Her move to California promised new beginnings, but as a single mother fighting anxiety and isolation, everything changed when doctors prescribed her highly addictive Klonopin. This began a devastating spiral that eventually led this former honor student to methamphetamine addiction and the streets of San Diego.
Laura takes us through the raw realities of homelessness—from her first night sleeping on concrete with nothing but a jacket for protection, to the mysterious pizza that appeared beside her like manna from heaven, to her eventual connection with community resources and churches that became lifelines. With unflinching honesty, she reveals how addiction severed her relationship with her teenage daughter—a relationship that would take nearly a decade to rebuild.
The recovery journey wasn't linear. Laura cycled through multiple attempts at sobriety, rehab programs, and even a quixotic plan to bicycle across America before finding lasting recovery through the Salvation Army's rehabilitation program. Today, six and a half years sober, Laura serves as a Salvation Army officer alongside her husband, helping others navigate their own paths to healing.
This conversation doesn't just illuminate the complicated reality of homelessness—it reminds us that behind every person on the street lies a complete human story. Laura's message is clear: no matter how far you've fallen, redemption is possible when you embrace vulnerability, connect with community, and refuse to give up. Have you been trying to face your struggles alone? Maybe it's time to reach out for help.
Hey, welcome back to the Current. I'm Pastor Chris Nafis of Living Water Church and today we have an old friend with us, laura Davis Mansfield, who was a part of our church for many years, from the very beginning on, until she and her husband, monty, left to be in officer training school in the Salvation Army. Laura has had a lot of ups and downs in her life. A constant overachiever, she went from having an Ivy League degree, being a sports star in high school and college to the streets of San Diego, which is where we met her.
Chris Nafis:This is a story of hardship, but also a story of redemption. Laura is very vulnerable with us in the story, so I want to thank her for being willing to share that hard part of her journey so that we can all be enlightened by some of the things that drive people into homelessness and to give us some hope that people can find their way out of it and into a life that is redeemed and that is full of help and service to others. So I hope you enjoyed Laura's story and be warned, there's some hard stuff in there, so you know, if you're a sensitive listener, just kind of be on your guard. But here it is. Hi, laura, thank you so much for taking the time to come on here with me.
Laura Davis Mansfield:We miss you at Living Water? How are you doing today? Nice to see everyone. We're doing pretty good here in Rancho Palos Verdes, California.
Chris Nafis:Okay, how long have we known each other?
Laura Davis Mansfield:Laura, since at least 2016. I know that for sure. When you planted the church in San Diego, we were doing it outside in the park.
Chris Nafis:Yeah.
Laura Davis Mansfield:That park was.
Chris Nafis:Fall Line Park. You were there in the Fall Line Park days. I thought I knew you were there, at least in the old building. I couldn't remember if you were there even before that. So that was like the very beginning of the church and you were in and out of the church, mostly in for like a lot of years until you and Monty got married and you guys got into the Salvation Army program and, man, we miss you.
Chris Nafis:It's a joy to see you and we were talking a little before. I'm like man, laura just has this. You just have this like energy and this like joy that follows you everywhere and, um, yeah, it's, it's just a blessing to have you around and so thanks for thanks again for being here. Um, so we're going to talk a little bit about your journey because, uh, well, I'll let you tell most of the story, but you were someone that we, when we met you, uh, you were on the street in San Diego, right and struggling still with addiction and had a number of issues going on, but maybe could you tell I don't even think a lot of Living Water folks know could you tell us like a little bit about like your life before that, like what led you, or how'd you get? How'd you end up on the streets of San Diego?
Laura Davis Mansfield:Yes, thanks, pastor Chris. So I grew up in Pennsylvania, a little town called Drexel Hill, pennsylvania, right outside of Philadelphia, and so my journey starts with a very dysfunctional family. My mother's mentally ill and she has been in a mental institution since 1987. And so that was really hard on me. As a kid I lived with my father and stepmother. She was verbally abusive and emotionally abusive. I was subjected to sexual abuse.
Laura Davis Mansfield:When I was growing up, too A little girl at seven years old. A lot went on, but I always had that smile on my face and I always had joy of the Lord. Jesus was always in my heart as a little girl and really I just loved the world, even though the world at times I felt didn't love me back. And so I went off and I got out of my father's and stepmother's house when I was 12 in 1987. And when child abuse was not talked about and I just knew it would be better in foster care or on the streets, I was scared for my life. I thought my stepmother really was threatening to kill me. So I honestly was so scared I didn't care where I was going. I just wasn't going home there and luckily, through the grace of God, I was able to get out and live with my mother for a little bit it was right before she got put into the mental institution for schizophrenia and then. So I went to go live with aunts and uncles. So I have fabulous aunts and uncles. That really took me in, kind of like that Disney princess right, we're the prodigal niece, as they say in biblical terms. But really my doctor aunt and her husband lived with their kids during the school year all through high school. And my other aunt on my mother's side and Carol, lived with them in the summertime and I had wonderful grandmothers. I was very close to my grandmother, laura. She lived to 97 years old and I loved her with my heart and we had just a unique, wonderful, beautiful mother-daughter-grandmother relationship. She was really pivotal in showing me a role model, what a woman role model really was, and also my aunts were very pivotal in that. And then all my friends, my friend's parents, even at age three. A woman named Andy Kimmons was best friend with Brent since three years old. She would watch me at the pool and I'm still friends with her today. So it was really my friends all through high school and college that heard my story and saw my hope and my joy in the Lord and I wasn't allowing anything to kind of defeat me.
Laura Davis Mansfield:So I became an overachiever. I played sports. I was able to get onto the varsity starter when I was a sophomore in high school. I was part of the basketball team and field hockey lacrosse executive committee. I was all in journalism brown and white newspaper yearbook and really kind of voted as most likely to succeed in life because I was very driven and motivated and worked very hard. I graduated from Upper Derby High School in the National Honor Society, which was very prestigious. At my school my graduating class was about 600 kids, so it was a big school to, and they only chose like maybe 50 people to be in national honor society. So, um, and I was really good at playing lacrosse. That was like my true, true passion. Um, and then I entered it.
Chris Nafis:Well, I didn't know you played so much lacrosse but I have to say, like people who know you from living water days, like none of this is really surprising. I think you're such like a you just you're involved in everything all the time, you know, and you just do things well and again with that joy and like yeah, that's like, oh, yeah, that's who Laura is. Even with all of the baggage going on at home, like in your, in your, with your stepmom and your dad and all that like even through that, you had this like warm support system through extended family and friends, but like obviously a lot of like traumatizing stuff kind of under the surface, but then you're just like killing it in school and in sports and in all the other areas and just like involved in everything like that. I don't know, somehow I'm like, yep, that's, that's Laura. Anyway, sorry to mean to interrupt, go on. So after school.
Laura Davis Mansfield:And later in my story, when I became homeless. I became an overachiever and homeless.
Chris Nafis:Yeah, for sure, that's that's what I'm saying. Like, I feel like even when you were on the street, you were doing that, like you were involved in everything. You knew every organization. You were volunteering everywhere, including at our church, and I'm like, yeah, that's yeah, that's, that's it.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I am, but uh. But what happened though? Um, my first challenge is I love lacrosse with all my heart. Um, it kept me out of trouble.
Laura Davis Mansfield:Um, and then I tore my ACL, my knee and lacrosse game and, uh, I actually had surgery on October 1st 1992. And I was a senior in high school and I went back. I actually injured it in my junior year in the spring. I went back for field hockey camp in the summer and I couldn't move my knee. I kept going down field so I was devastated. I had knee surgery, acl, reconstructive knee surgery, uh, with a meniscus tear. So basically I was out. You know, I was out, for my one passion was taken away from me. But did I let it get me down? No, I just got involved in something else so well, and, and I was also friends with the older kids.
Laura Davis Mansfield:Um, so when I got into my senior year it was a little rough. I don't have lacrosse and I'm being recruited for field hockey and lacrosse by Ivy League schools and so luckily they could only give academic scholarships, they couldn't give out sports scholarships. So I was still able to keep my scholarship in college but needless to say, I just became very, very involved in other organizations, things that didn't revolve around sports, but I was well-rounded. So all my eggs weren't in the lacrosse basket, they were well-rounded. Other things to fall back on, very pivotal in my story in life, when I get disappointed in life or things are going really good and then I get thrown a curveball, I'm able to be well-rounded and I have something else to fall back on, and that's a current theme in my life and I think that's very important to mention now that I'm talking to you. I didn't even realize this until.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I just said it, but I really feel that if we put all of our energies into one part of our lives, even just spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, like if we just work so hard and like working out, if we're working on our, you know, physical and we're not taking care of our spiritual things, are you don't have anything to fall back on when things don't go your way, um, so, anyway. So so I was recruited for field hockey and lacrosse by Ivy League schools. I did get a scholarship academic to Lehigh University it's a hidden Ivy League in Pennsylvania, bethlehem, pennsylvania and I went to college and I was there for four years and originally I was pre-med in journalism, um, and then my freshman year it was kind of interesting I joined a sorority delta gamma, uh, and that's uh. Sorority life is awesome. It's not even just the stereotypical like party rah-rah, fraternities. We did a lot with um, community service and a lot of fundraisers and organizations and what have you, and also going to the fraternity parties and drinking. So it was a big year for people.
Laura Davis Mansfield:So I knew I got involved. I started the rugby team that's still a club sport now to this day, like 25 years later and plus. So I ended up playing a club and not wearing my knee brace and kind of risking it. Luckily I didn't get hurt in the knee and I played that year round, kept me out of trouble, kept me involved and I loved it. And we wouldn't like a sport at the time Like you could beat each other up on the field and with a rugby ball and I was scrum half, so it's kind of like the quarterback of the team, and then you get to party with them afterwards so that was kind of cool in college.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I don't recommend that now, but it was really fun in college. And then I graduated from college. It actually took me that summer after graduation for me to complete my degree because I could walk with my class, but I had a few classes that I had to take in order to graduate. My junior year I wasn't doing so well in college. I was behavioral neuroscience, a big biopsychology and journalism and I just I was failing all my classes, which was very hard to deal with. I just wasn't in the right major. It has a very big engineering and business school with a lot of work in chem and engineers that were like knocking off all the classes and really wasn't where my passion lied. So basically, my junior year I was year round summer sessions, winter sessions and fall and spring session and I completed I think 60 credits out of 125 needed in one year and I really buckled down.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I lived off campus so I didn't have that much responsibility with a sorority. I worked as a waitress all through college on weekends to pay my way because I didn't have parents in my life to help me with that. So really it's a blessing and a curse. I was able to do what I wanted, when I wanted, whatever I wanted, and I had to be my own parent and you know, counselor, parent, teacher. So that was kind of, you know, hard, I guess. But, like I said, I overcame and I'm an overcomer resilient. So I graduate with a BA in psychology and a BA in journalism, with a minor in scientist writing, and I was working as a counselor for Kids Peace in Pennsylvania and then I decided California. Dreaming, I wanted to come to California. I was 23 years old, I had just graduated from college and I was dating this man which, when you don't have a very good relationship with your father or any kind of male figures growing up in life, we tend to choose men that are just like our fathers.
Laura Davis Mansfield:It's either just like your father or nothing like your father. Unfortunately for me, I always liked the bad boys and that weren't very healthy for me. That kind of got in the way of me achieving. I got emotionally involved in what have you in multiple relationships, like long-term relationships, monogamous, but at the same time it kind of shifted my focus from overachieving to investing time into a relationship. Anyway, I came out to California.
Chris Nafis:So just to pause real quick. Just to pause real quick, if that's okay. So because just to highlight, like at this point in your life, like you have a double major from an Ivy League school, you're a decorated athlete, you're like popular sorority girl, quarterback of the rugby team. For you know, just for the I know that's not the position, but like you know, you're like a leader on the team and like most people would probably look at you from outside and be like, wow, she is just killing it, like this is killing it in life.
Chris Nafis:But obviously, like you're saying, there's some, some things from that, like relationships, from that family dynamics that um are still carrying with you, that are kind of leading into these, these negative uh relationships that are starting to show some signs of trouble. Thankfully you're a very resilient person and so you're able to overcome even some of those setbacks in the time. But like, yeah, just to like a little reset, uh, because I'm following along with the story. Okay, so you started. You come to california, do you come to san diego or did you come somewhere else?
Laura Davis Mansfield:no, san diego. So I have six weeks cross country. I'm in a beat up old red and blue pickup truck with all my worldly possessions in the back, with the tarp cover, and we traveled for six weeks cross country Amazing experience. My family really was me against coming out here aunts and uncles and what have you, and even my aunt's, like you can't bring your car. I said, well, I don't need my car, here you go, here are the keys, I'm out. So and then my friend's father always said he's like Laura, just go for the experience.
Laura Davis Mansfield:You never want to be sitting later in life and wondering what had, what would have happened if I had gone out there? Following a dream Also was good. He's like you can always come back, which is true I go back for vacations and spend time with family, but that's. I never really went back after five years or almost 30 years in California, but yeah, so it was more or less like moved to San Diego, cross country travels for six weeks Amazing, get planted in. Actually it was.
Laura Davis Mansfield:At first it was Imperial Beach. So I was working in Imperial Beach well, working in Coronado at a place called Costa Azul I'm waitressing. Then I moved to Pacific Beach and I started working for a publishing company. It's a printing company. Things are going good. I'm breaking up with the boyfriend and he was getting involved in drugs and alcohol and and weed and all this other stuff that I wasn't down with at the time and so I stopped partying with them and I'm and I just really focus on working. I'm all in, like it depends, like if I'm in a relationship, I'm all in. If I'm in work.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I'm all in, like it depends Like. If I'm in a relationship, I'm all in. If I'm in work, I'm all in. If I'm in recovery, I'm all in. It's like I'm always all in for Jesus, too, I'm like, always all in. I'm either all out, you know, but I'm. I get distractions along the way.
Laura Davis Mansfield:But then I started working in a publishing company and I I have a servant heart, but I also am attracted to people that are going through uncomfortable situations, family deaths. It seems like a big pattern in my life. When somebody is going through a boyfriend is going through something, then I am there for them as support, and then we end up dating and then it turns into a whole long term thing. So, anyway, so I met Padre printers and publishers. I met my daughter's dad. His mom was suffering from cancer pancreatic cancer that metastasized breast cancer, what have you. So I was really there for him. I had broken up with my boyfriend for some few reasons and so, yeah, it was. We were even on change of heart, which I'll have to send you that link, um, my ex-boyfriend and I.
Laura Davis Mansfield:so you can actually see a video of what I was like when I was 20 years old out to california dreaming um, but that turned into like a little bit of not dreaming. So I met my daughter's dad.
Chris Nafis:I never married him uh together nine years.
Laura Davis Mansfield:Got pregnant, met my daughter's dad I never married him Together nine years Got pregnant with my daughter, probably about a year into our relationship and he's 11 years older than me. I'm still good friends with him today for the sake of my daughter, and we are good friends with co-parenting, or the co-relationship with parenting of my daughter. So I just became all in. I was pregnant with my daughter. So I just became all in. I was pregnant with my daughter. She was my dream come true. If you ask my aunt, she would say all that I really wanted was to have a family of my own, you know, to have a family, kids of my own that I love. They love me, a supportive husband, and I really didn't get that. It was more or less. I had a very much single lifestyle with my daughter's dad. We lived together, but I became a single mom working from home. We were like two shifts, passing the night he was in sales. He'd go out at night for dinners and drinks with the sales guys, and then weekends it was always a football game or what have you. Um, out the bars drinking and um. And then it was like 2005 when we had a lot going on that year, um, that neither one of us could emotionally handle. Um, it was pivotal, um, to the point of where I did become a single mom. That following like six months later, um, but 2005 we had um, oh, by the way, I tore my ACL or my shoulder when I was in rugby, but I let it go seven years. So I had in 2005,. I had to have reconstructive shoulder surgery from rugby. So I had that surgery. And in April my mother-in-law well, april, my mother-in-law well, my daughter's dad's mother we called her mama. She passed away in February. Then I had shoulder surgery in April. I'm working now in business. I'm an executive assistant at Nexcel for three years Very reputable.
Laura Davis Mansfield:My daughter's in kindergarten and preschools and kindergarten and what have you. My daughter's in kindergarten and preschools and kindergarten and what have you. And then my aunt had an aneurysm, her third brain aneurysm that erupted. She's totally fine today, but it was a very scary time for me. We thought we were really going to lose her. And then it was my birthday. I gave myself a deadline and I just kind of knew after that year. And then my daughter's dad he's basically my brother-in-law. He passed away in October. So a lot of things went on that whole year a lot of deaths. My daughter's dad started drinking a lot out of the bars, moving away from me and I was carrying the load of, you know, mother working, mom supporting my daughter, taking care of everything, with her school, involved, with the PTO. It was just a lot to handle, yeah, and we had definitely just, we were like two ships passing the night, so I decided to leave him. Definitely, just, we were like two ships passing the night, so I decided to leave him. So I finally, it was my birthday, september 30th of 2006. And I finally left my daughter's dad.
Laura Davis Mansfield:And now, mind you, chris, I'm like 31 at the time and I'm 3000 miles away from family. My mother's still in a mental institution, which is very hard. I didn't have a mom to call and say, hey, I'm a single mom and I can't handle it. Like what do you do? I'm freaking out because I'm alone, three thousand miles away from any help, um, and I have no emotional support. I'm I'm working atcel, have a good reputation, but I'm embarrassed to tell people that I can't handle being a single mom trying to get my daughter to school.
Laura Davis Mansfield:She was getting sick a lot, a lot of infections and a few other things going on with her medically and it was just a really rough time. Honestly, pastor Chris and I started I couldn't sleep. I was so stressed out that I, honestly, I was so worried about everything how I was going to pay my rent my rent was like $1,600 a month in my own one-bedroom apartment how I was going to give food for my daughter. And, not having a break, she didn't go to her dad, she went to her dad's on Mondays and Tuesdays during school and and work. I had no weekends off for years and I really burned myself out to the point of I couldn't sleep.
Laura Davis Mansfield:And they, I went to the ER, the emergency room in San Diego, uh, scripps, mercy, and they put me on Klonopin, which is a benzo, and they no longer prescribe this in doctor's offices because it's highly, highly addictive. And so I went there and they're like, hey, why don't we give you like some Klonopin and you'll be fine? And they gave me some Klonopin and I was fine, but I was addicted, right, and it was. You know, I had like an addictive personality. Um, you know, when I was in college I drank alcohol, but not to excess for the most part, um, but when I got out of college I could go and have a glass of wine or a margarita and it was fine. It didn't lead into you know other things, um.
Laura Davis Mansfield:But when I got put on that Klonopin, it's like a Valium or a Xanax, but times 10. And it relieved my anxiety. But I was addicted and I had to have it like you felt like when I was withdrawing without medical help and doctors weren't prescribing it to me either. So I started going overseas and the doctors are like the psychiatrist here is like no, we're not giving it to you, it's very addictive, very addictive. You can't be on it for long-term because it's not healthy and also you're probably suffering from depression, situational anxiety. Either go home to Pennsylvania where you have support.
Laura Davis Mansfield:But I believed in the father-daughter bond, so I was not. My daughter is very close to her dad, so I didn't want to take her away from her dad. Um, so I just um. I got in this whole clump and I had to have it and it became like Monty always talks about um, my husband, monty, always says, like the phenomenon, craving of the phenomenon, or phenomenon of the craving, um, but that's really when my addiction really set in and started, uh, getting it overseas. So for maybe seven years it was a vicious cycle um of me getting my prescription Klonopin overseas. Some of the shipments would get confiscated, never gotten to any legal trouble thankfully Shipments would get confiscated, never got into any legal trouble. Thankfully because I sent it to a PO box. So I was kind of smart there. But my daughter had to see me go from successful single mom, pto mom, to a mom addicted to Klonopin and then when I couldn't get my Klonopin shipments, sometimes there was like a month where.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I couldn't get them. Then I to hard alcohol and that's the only thing hard alcohol and I never agreed. And beer wine used to be fine, but I never. Really I stayed away on purpose from shots and hard alcohol but that's all that I could do to help me with like coming down. You feel like you're losing your mind. I mean, yeah, I don't know if your audience, if anybody's been on this drug, but it honestly, when you come off, you could have a heart attack, you could have like a stroke if you don't have a medical detox from it. And I did this over and over and over again. It's like the whole saying like the insanity, keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results.
Chris Nafis:Were you just trying to quit on your own? Or were you like was it just because the shipments didn't come in, or or? Well, yeah, where were you at with?
Laura Davis Mansfield:that, honestly, when you're in that cycle on, and I wasn't working and I had sold my car to pay my rent because I was too embarrassed to tell my family I wasn't making it out here, I quit my job at Nexel through the merger of Sprint because I couldn't handle taking my daughter to school and working full time and traveling to Irvine. I just couldn't do it. So I took a sales job that I was terrible at, I hated sales, so anxious, and then I couldn't find a job. For many years I could not find a job. So after a while I got so discouraged I gave up. I sold my car so I have no way of getting around and I basically put myself into my house for like three years. Honestly, pastor Chris, for three years of my life I barely went out. I was scared to take my trash out to my dumpster. I would go out at night and I was so embarrassed about the alcohol that I started like in my kitchen it became like a mountain of of alcohol bottles and.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I keep looking back. I I never lost hope in my life, but I lost hope and it was like dark. I shut the shades and I and my daughter had to see witnesses and she had to see me.
Laura Davis Mansfield:It wasn't like. I was always like how old was she? She was, uh. It got really bad when she went into sixth grade. Um, because she was at, uh, an elementary school by where we lived in little italy. Um, but then my single mom group we dispersed because all of our kids were going to different, uh middle schools, because here, in california.
Laura Davis Mansfield:It's something different than pennsylvania, but we have choice out schools. So in Pennsylvania you have to go public schools, you have to go to that school. That's in your zip code. California you can choose whatever. As long as parents provide transportation, you can go to any school you choose.
Laura Davis Mansfield:So my daughter went to a school over in Pacific beach and all my friends were in La Mesa and, like my social support, my emotional support of single mom friends with daughters themselves, they kind of scattered. It scattered and I had nobody and that's when I sold my car to pay my rent, it turned into a whole big thing, downward spiral.
Chris Nafis:Honestly, pastor Chris, it's downward spiral, which, again, like knowing you and, like you said, like we've known each other for a long time and living water folks that have been around long enough, like you are not an introverted person, you know what I mean. Like you are someone who likes to be out there, kind of social butterfly, and so to imagine you like pent up in your house, like you must have been really struggling pretty hard with some things and really feeling a lot of shame and all of that. So how did you end up losing your place?
Laura Davis Mansfield:Well, actually it's a whole long story. It's when I finally got into some recovery. I kind of pulled the plug on my own housing and became homeless by choice in some ways. So it gets kind of convoluted. So anyway, so my Philippines Igloo RX no longer in business, goes out of business, no longer getting my Klonopin from Philippines. Everybody else is a scam. That I tried and found out. Everybody's a scam. So they closed the Roush plant Philippines. Everybody else is a scam. Then I tried and found out everybody's a scam, so they closed the Roush plant. It was like Roush Pharmaceuticals and they closed the plant.
Laura Davis Mansfield:This is April 1st of 2000 and maybe 12, I think, and 2013, 2012 or 2013. So I got sober, cold turkey and on April 1st of that year got rid of the alcohol. Immediately my daughter got her mom back. You know I cleared out. I put on Craigslist like, hey, come, pick up all my beer bottles that I've been storing up for years. They all came. They're like oh, this is amazing that you're turning your life around. They invited me to AA meetings. I went to a few AA meetings but it's kind of clicky. The one few meetings that I went to I just didn't really find my groove or my people that I could. So I didn't really stick with that. So I was just sober, but I had no job. I was in my apartment. I was like going and hanging out at the coffee shop, not drinking anymore, which is great, but I had nothing else. I was doing nothing else. Again, if you put all your eggs in one basket and other areas of your life aren't working, it's all going to collapse on you.
Chris Nafis:Right.
Laura Davis Mansfield:No, I wasn't on Klonopin. I was getting my life together, like mentally I was with it and I was working physically, but my spiritual and emotional well-being really wasn't being. It was just the symptoms wasn't being treated, I guess. So for a few months I just didn't know what to do with myself. But at least I was going out, I was walking every day, I was going into little Italy. I was, um, I was going on the buses learning the bus systems of San Diego. So I was getting out there, um, and it gave my daughter hope that she was getting her mom back.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I started watching kids again and my daughter's friends would come over and I'd take them out everywhere and started renting a car. I rented a car, like just per month, um, so like things were getting good again, right, so again they're you know, three year lapse of of going into deep despair, um. But then I came out again and, um, it's kind of like falling into the deep end of a pool and like, or jumping off a cliff and coming up from air, and you're like, oh, I, you know, I can breathe again. Oh, this is what it's like. It's like to breathe. I can't believe I was underwater for so long and then it's like okay, well, I don't really know how to do anything but doggy paddle right, I don't know. I don't know how to swim. Really, I'm sitting there floating around. So I ended up.
Laura Davis Mansfield:So I was going through a very big depression. I didn't know what to do with my life. I wasn't relying on drugs and alcohol. It's like that fog had lifted for like six months. So I remember on my birthday again, I went up to the ER and I said I'm really depressed. Like I am really depressed. I, um, I don't know what's going on with like I, I just have like empty. It was like kind of like an empty shell. I said I need help, and so they actually put me in a crisis house for the first time. San Diego is wonderful with the resources resources for the most part, because there's nowhere after the. Are you familiar with what crisis houses are, chris?
Chris Nafis:I am, but maybe say for those who aren't, yeah.
Laura Davis Mansfield:So and I spend this is kind of pivotal in my homeless story too the resources of San Diego that, pastor Chris, you and I had discussed earlier on. Like you said, I use all of them. I have like a Yelp rating on each one and all of them get a piece of four star because there's a lot of resources in San Diego that I hope other cities do model, because really we have it going on in San Diego for programs. The only thing about the homelessness is there's programs for when you're in crisis, but there's nowhere to go after the crisis is over, right.
Laura Davis Mansfield:So, no long-term solutions. So you go to a crisis house for about two weeks. There's like four in San Diego. They're like renovated houses and at each house and they're really houses there's like mental health counselors, psychiatrists, so they help you get on medication if you're having some mental issues. It's a community living, so you have tours and everybody gets their room or shared with a roommate. You get food, you get fed, you learn to get your doctor's appointments out of the way. You can go to, like, if you're looking into rehabs, I go to church but it's really only 10 days Two weeks is the limit and then they just put you back on the street again without any real kind of rehabilitation, like a new way of life. So you go to doing what you know and then it turns into another cycle.
Chris Nafis:So what happens to your daughter when you're at a crisis house?
Laura Davis Mansfield:Well, I went to the first crisis house, they put me on Zoloft, which I do not recommend. I did have an adverse reaction to Zoloft and so I was diagnosed with bipolar, but I was diagnosed when I was like coming off a Klonopin, so it was um. You know, I, I do believe there's a spectrum of bipolar. I'm your functional bipolar. I don't like to um lead by the stigma of bipolar and I don't feel bipolar Um, but there is a stigma and I, I, I say this lightly, I didn't want to be turned into my mom. You know that like always a fear in my life. So when I get the diagnosis of bipolar, and once you get diagnosed on, it's very hard to get away from the diagnosis, um. And. But mine was a drug related drug related diagnosis, coming off of Klonopin and alcohol, but, needless to say, so I'm off, it's September 30th of 2013. And so I went to the crisis house and my daughter's dad did watch my daughter. He knew I was not well, you know, but he couldn't do anything really about it, didn't try any intervention and what have you. So I went there and it was like a breath of fresh air, like I'm not alone, there's resources, um, anyway. So I got put on on Zoloft and it's an antidepressant. Um, you should never take that without a mood stabilizer if you are bipolar. And so I'm not drinking, not on clonpin, don't have any life or any kind of spiritual um thing. I was like up at night and sleeping during the day.
Laura Davis Mansfield:It was like October 22nd of 2013. My daughter's in seventh grade, I think yeah, seventh grade, and I don't know what happened that night, but I take my Zoloft and sometimes Zoloft and Effexor, which comes into play later, not with me, but with my cousin that committed suicide. It can cause suicidal ideations, so I do not recommend getting on any new medication without on any kind of like accountability partner or somebody that can help you oversee. Yeah, throw you on a medication, a psych medication, and just throw you back in your apartment, like I said, no programs to go after that, and you could be dead in there if nobody checks on you. Right? That's what happened to me and I was get. I got prescribed from the doctors on this Zoloft and I had an adversary action and it was. You know, I almost committed suicide in front of my daughter.
Laura Davis Mansfield:So, that was like really tough suicide in front of my daughter. So that was like really tough and um, you know, and I couldn't blame it on alcohol and I couldn't blame it on drugs, because that wasn't it um, I did the best that I could do with my daughter at the time do still hold on to like a lot of guilt, but I kind of like my whole world, yeah. So like, if you hear my story, um, even when I was homeless and I met you, I didn't really talk about my daughter a whole lot. I was like ashamed and, um, and I really love my daughter and I've worked very hard to, you know, mend the relationship in god's timing, um, but at that time I lost everything. Like my whole world like collided and my daughter went to go live with her dad and, um, that night she called her dad and he came and picked her up and, um, and then, uh, yeah, I went into, uh, san Diego County um psychiatric, uh, there, and again they treated me, um, and they put me on a bipolar med, a mood stabilizer, and then sent me home again, and so my daughter's now really mad at me.
Laura Davis Mansfield:Uh, she was always strong willed, but now she's like I'm going to live with my dad. She had like I had 85% custody of her. Um, how could you do this to me? And it was very uncomfortable. I go visit her on Thursdays at her dad's, now supervised, and this is 2013. I finally and I and 2024, finally had my first lunch with my daughter without her dad's supervision.
Laura Davis Mansfield:So it really took me 10 years of really working on my relationship with my daughter, but there is hope out there for anybody, because my daughter swore she would never talk to me again. She's 13, 14, doesn't want to talk to me. And then the following year, about six months later, I'm and I went through a deep, dark depression, couldn't even get out of bed, um, but I'm not drinking no alcohol, but I had nothing. And um, then I I go to pacific beach and I met up with friends and I found meth, meth and amphetamine. I always said it saved my life. I'm so grateful that I did find meth because it got me out of my room Hold on one second and it got me out of my dark place. But my counselor later told me he said, laura, you didn't get your life back. He's like you got a life back, but not your life back, that's right.
Laura Davis Mansfield:But then I was. Then it was on. I was on methamphetamine for about two years. I yeah, it was. It was. I found friends in Pacific Beach. It was fun. I had that joy back in my heart. It felt good. I was partying, I was making friends. It was, you know, great at first and then turned into not so great again after the addiction kicks in. So then I met my ex-boyfriend. I'm an Uber driver. I've now joined the Uber ex-leasing program, so I'm driving around a new Prius and getting myself together on meth. And for a while, and then it turned into not so much. So my ex-boyfriend, uh, again another ride or die, bad boy drug dealer. Um, and it was on so for like two years.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I, um my daughters live with her dad ever since this incident on 2013. Um, now I'm just not present for her um in her high school years, like she's in eighth grade, ninth grade, 10th grade, 11th grade I'm not there, um and I became homeless in. My first day of being homeless was October 30th of 2016. So from like 2014 to like 2016, I'm on meth. I'm off and on going up to Orange County relapsing where my boyfriend lived at the time, not working really other than occasional Uberber drives. I'm just on meth partying and with other people and uh yeah, so it was a whole big thing.
Chris Nafis:But yeah, well, that's a. We met you not long after that, I think, or maybe even be, maybe even right around then, and yeah you, you met me.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I started using math. It was like February 22nd of 2015. And then a year later, in 2016.
Chris Nafis:And like I guess what I'm noticing as I listen to your story is first of all, how these, all these different experiences, they just like compound one another. You know what I mean and they lead to one another. So you know, getting like, you know, physical injury that leads to some mental issues, and then, you know, you get on, you get a prescription that's addictive and that leads you to further deepening addiction and that leads to broken relationships. And you know, and just you can just see how, like everything kind of like folds in on each other and like you know, like, when you're telling your story, and like, discovering meth is like a life-saving thing. You know what I mean. Like that's, you're like, oh yeah, something is wrong here because like, how bad must it have been that like getting into meth was like actually like a step up in the world. You know what I mean because it's you know we like, we know meth pretty well in our, in our context, and it's interesting because meth was huge back then in in our neighborhood. Now it's all fentanyl, so it's kind of like a. I mean people still use meth, but it's just like a. I don't know. It's interesting how the waves come, but um, um, but you can just see how, like everything kind of rolls in on each other and then you like have this broken relationship with your daughter, which is super depressing and leads you further into like the pit and uh, you know and and all of this, like we we wouldn't, we didn't know any of this. Like we met you and you're like this bubble of joy knew you were using, you know, just like you seem like probably using meth, but didn't, like you said, you didn't mention your daughter for a lot of years I think it was like several years before I knew you even had a daughter and she's like the huge, like maybe the biggest piece of your life. But there's so much like shame and and all the things around it, uh, that you know you got to keep this part of yourself hidden, I guess.
Chris Nafis:I guess what I'm just trying to highlight for people that are kind of unfamiliar with like this, just homelessness and addiction in this world is like how complicated things are and how much is going on underneath the surface, because everybody that we meet in our church, that's on the street, everybody's story is different, obviously, but everybody has been through something you know what I mean and everybody has like more going on than you think. I like I wouldn't have guessed I knew you're smart and you know could tell you were probably like an achiever type person, but like wouldn't have guessed you had an Ivy league degree. You know what I mean. Like there's so many things beneath the surface that, um, that people are just guarded about it. And so if you only have like a surface level relationship with somebody on the street, they're only going to show you a little bit of themselves and they're only going to show you what they want to show you and that's self-protection, like if they're not being necessarily being manipulative or something. That's just like because they're ashamed.
Chris Nafis:You know we all do this. We all kind of guard what we share with others. Um, and when you're, when it's so difficult to unpack all the things that you've been through, it's got to feel overwhelming to try to open that up for somebody else also. All right, so you're on, you're, you're using meth, you're on the street, you're coming through, you know like a more of an opioid type addiction before that, and and where do you? I mean, are we there yet? Like, where do you start to find some help in getting clean and sober and for real, you know. So, like you said, chris, I mean are we there yet?
Laura Davis Mansfield:Like, where do you start to find some help in getting clean and sober? And, for real, you know homeless. So, like you said, chris, I mean thank you for actively listening and just kind of repeating back to me. And it really is. It's refreshing for me to get a summary of when you're going through things firsthand. You forget about the outsider's perspective that sees things that you can't Even in the rooms of recovery. It's like you all loved me at Living Water Nazarene Church when I couldn't love myself. Same thing with this podcast recording. It's just really refreshing hearing it from you, because we do have a friendship and you are. You know, you have counseled me in the past, and pastoral care too, and so it's really nice to come to terms. You know now that I'm on the other side, you know, and it's just super refreshing, but my first day being homeless, so it's October 30th of 2016.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I'm still on meth. I've been on meth for a year. It's kind of a binger. I could like put it down for a while and then I would. Basically my pattern or my cycle would be I'd use meth and then I'd go up to Orange County, come back to San Diego, get sober for three months and then I'd use meth and then I'd go to Orange County, come back to San Diego, get sober for three months and then I'd be missing my boyfriend and go back up there again. I couldn't find a job. The one key part is I could never find a job and I honestly felt that if there was a program that was offered to me, like the Alproject Wheels of Change I was on the news for that, like the Al Project Wheels of Change, I was on the news for that. Really, when I was given a job like I don't feel that my life would have gotten so out of control because I would have had accountability. If things were going with me, other people would know and call me out on it. So there's that loving kindness that I've always felt from others, no matter what.
Laura Davis Mansfield:But it's first day and I had come off. I was up and stranded in Orange County. My boyfriend just dropped me off the Amtrak. No money, no food, on meth. So I camped out there for three days in the woods of Amtrak of Irvine and I came out and I was hungry. So I'm not on, I'm not high, I'm super skinny, though. I haven't eaten for three days and I remember getting a cardboard box and writing on the cardboard box because I couldn't I was so embarrassed to like ask somebody for a train ticket to San Diego or food. I was hungry, I was really hungry. So I put it, said I need food, can somebody please buy me a sandwich? And there was a vending machine. So I put it, said I need food, can somebody please buy me a sandwich? And there was a vending machine. So I'm not asking for money, I'm literally just want to. I want a sandwich out of the venue and I like a one-way ticket to San Diego so I can get out of here Right. And now I had already been in a crisis house, so I know there's help in San Diego if I could just get myself to San Diego.
Laura Davis Mansfield:So I, this gentleman, uh, you know, they always say about entertaining angels. I mean this was like my entertaining. Uh, he was like an angel in disguise. Um, I truly felt that. Um, he was like a young guy, um, maybe in his 20s, a tech guy working for a dot com, and he came up to me and he said are you hungry? And I said yes, and he's like I read your sign. He's like let me buy you something to eat. So he bought me a sandwich and one of those roundtable things. And then he said he heard my story and he's like, wow, this is an insane story. Again, he saw something in me and I wasn't high and I wasn't drunk, and I was, I was detoxed, right. So, um, so he bought me a one-way ticket back to San Diego and I didn't. I had a paper ID and they didn't want to get let me on the Amtrak train and it was a whole thing. And then the conductor's like well, it's your lucky day, I'm giving you a one-way ticket back to San Diego, don't come back. But he said it lovingly, like he saw the good in me, and I took the Amtrak train, got back to San Diego on that night and it's raining. All I have is one bag over my shoulder like a vest, a white vest, shorts that were like white and like a coral sweatshirt, shoes and maybe like a few things in my bag. And, um, and I'm tired, I'm like where do I go? Um, my aunt had, um, I tried a few rehabs in this convoluted story. Uh, so I still had my place story. So I still had my place. And when I was like I left crash to go back out and use drugs. My aunt was packing up my apartment.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I said I cannot go back to that house, just like the abuse of my stepmother's house was very similar to this house. It was just filled with years of bad memories. I said I can't go back there. And my aunt's like, well, we're not buying you another house. My family was supporting me at the time and they were paying for my house for many, many years. So I said, and it was like a tiny, like half house. It wasn't like a house house, it was like a side house, like a granny flat with like one bedroom in it and a kitchen and a dining room. But anyway, so I said no, I'm not going back there. So my aunt's like, well then you're going to be homeless because and my aunt did not want me to be homeless, nor did my grandmother, you know, this is a Lehigh college educated two degree girl who got her own scholarship and people to believe in her. And now she's like a drug addict hanging out with the wrong group of kids or people, adults hanging out with a bad guy, and I'm on drugs. And she's like my aunt's, like if you leave, that we're not paying for your house and I said, well, I'm not going back there, so get rid of it. And they took.
Laura Davis Mansfield:My daughter's dad was very supportive at the time. He ended up turning into a great dad when he my daughter went to go live with him when she was 13. He could. He dropped everything. He stopped drinking. He like focused all on her. To this day he still focused all on her. He never got involved in any other relationships and he really is a really good father to my daughter and they're super close. I'm super grateful that he was there. No CPS was involved on you know it was.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I still had like 10% custody so she could still get my Medi-Cal insurance, which comes into play later because I didn't get general relief or any money when I was homeless because I still had 10% custody. So in a way I chose my daughter's medical insurance over me getting general relief money. But I'm getting a little ahead of myself. So I first day just come off the Amtrak train and I'm down by like you know where the like Embarcadero is, down on the it's basically the port of San Diego, along the water by Seaport Village and I I wind my way up to like little Italy and I'm right outside of that one building and it's raining and I don't know where to go. So I literally was so tired that I just I put my head down, I just laid on the ground, like I just stood there and I laid on the ground and it was like a little shaded area kind of, and I fell asleep.
Laura Davis Mansfield:And that night it's my pizza story and I love telling the story and I don't tell it enough, but you know Felipe's pizza that's really good in downtown San Diego. And when you're homeless like you do, look for food that people like. Usually the people leave like half portions of stuff of their food on top of um trash cans. Uh, so the homeless people can eat the food and I was one person that always would eat the food and um that was left, not really dumpster diving but uh, pretty close to it.
Laura Davis Mansfield:And this piece of story I had, um, so I just rested my head down, I put my like jacket over my head and I just fell asleep. And, uh, I woke up sometime in the middle of the night and there was this full Filippi's full cheese, filippi's pizza, there on the ground for me to eat. Somebody who knows who little another angel thought enough to leave me a pizza and I was so hungry to devour that and I was just like thinking I said this is going to be, I'm going to be all right, you know. And God was in my life and Jesus was in my life at the time, and Jesus, I had this feeling that came over me at that time. That was almost like an embrace, um, from Jesus and God, um, that basically I knew I was going to be okay, um, that other people, as long as I didn't isolate myself in my house, um, that I'd be okay. And so I chose that night to be homeless because I still had my house until the next day, my November 1st or the 31st was Halloween, like.
Laura Davis Mansfield:Two days later, my house was being closed up and I could have called my aunt and begged and said I can't be homeless. Like, how am I going to survive as a homeless person. But I didn't. I said I'm not going back to that house, it's too much bad energy and too much nightmare life. And I wasn't going back and I didn't.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I chose to become homeless that night and and so I woke up the next morning it's Halloween. I'm there in, so I get up and I hear these homeless people talking about Terminator right, sarah Connor. And when I was in my addiction I thought I was Sarah Connor at some point. So they're talking Terminator and like. And I went up to them I said I'm, where do you go if you're homeless, like? I literally asked somebody on the street talking about Terminator. I didn't ask for drugs. I said where do you go to get food? And they're like that way.
Laura Davis Mansfield:So they pointed down to like where you are, at 15th and um market, right there with the Island intersection. And I just started walking that way and it was Halloween day and all the kids homeless uh were walking around in like their Halloween costumes, which was really sad. My first night in a shelter was two steps down. It was a God descended ham. It was right there on Island, I think 16th and Island. Very bad location for someone, especially like myself. But I was a venture and I was going to do this homeless thing and I was going to overdo this homeless thing and I was going to conquer the world and I was going to get sober and I was going to get my daughter back and everything was going to happen overnight, and so if I could just get shelter for tonight?
Laura Davis Mansfield:And so I walk over to God's extended hand and they were giving out a dinner, and so I asked, I said, where can I find shelter for the night? Well, the first night actually was underneath the bridge and these people just started handing out food. Like this community, church community, just regular people, like a group of people started handing out sandwiches and they put candy in the bags and like, and then I found my way to God's extended hand and ate there. So I they're no longer open. But it was really the only shelter in San Diego that didn't have a 30-day minimum or curfew. If you didn't make curfew at the Alproject, you were kicked out.
Chris Nafis:On.
Laura Davis Mansfield:Rescue Mission. You had to be there 30 days and if you missed a night you're kicked out. You lost your spot. But at God's extended hand it was. Just. Come as you are. If you need a place to sleep women and children, no men but if you need a place to sleep, go line up outside of god's extended hand at I don't know, like seven or eight, and then they will let you in.
Laura Davis Mansfield:Um being a single lady, um, sometimes I said the inn wasn't open. Uh, sometimes they had Mother Mary and Jesus on Christmas decoration. You know the lighted nativity scene, the fantastic nativity scene. They even had Mother Mary and baby Jesus. My first day being homeless, I was on Halloween looking up there and I'm like, okay, this is where Jesus stayed right and heartwarming, and it was raining again and we're standing in line and all these kids are lined up at the. It was heartbreaking. The kids are crying. They're like, luckily nice people in the community were handing out candy and it was so sad to be in that place and you walk in and you sleep on a cot and floors are dirty and there's dripping in the bathrooms and it is. It was a place.
Chris Nafis:Yeah, gothic Sand in Hand was an interesting place because, like you said, it was this oddly accessible place that people could just go to and there would be a roof at least. But a lot of bad stuff happened there. Like I don't even know if you know, but the building isn't even there anymore. It's been razed to the ground after people kept setting it on fire over and over again after it closed down. But you know, yeah, anyway we could go. We talk a lot about Ghazi Saint-Han and just kind of the warning that it is, but also the beauty that it is that isn't there anymore Because there's no like.
Chris Nafis:There's no like ultimate place that catches people. Now, like everything is like a much more over over organized program. I don't know if that's the right way to say it, but like everything, you have to get room, you have to go through the systems, you have to do curfew, you have all these rules and all these kinds of things. And god's extended hand was just like this little wild west type place that was super dangerous. Like I would almost didn't recommend people go there. I remember will used to call it god's extended finger instead of god's extended hand, but it did serve this really odd role in the community. That was like significant. Anyway, I'll go off on God's extended hand.
Laura Davis Mansfield:Also, we were talking about resources later on, like where do people go if you're experiencing homelessness? Right, and where do you go, but there's a process for getting into the homeless shelters. So, like government, so if you get a, if you're lucky to get a bed at the app project or any other shelters, you want to keep your bed. And what I liked about God's extended hand, that's not there. Now that it's been closed down, there's no program in san diego, which I would like to see again. Something safer facilities that are clean, um, but one that's just a come as you are. If you want to stay the night, great, line up at the door and, um, and come in, spend the night and then go on your way. So if you choose to not go back for one night, you're not losing your bed.
Chris Nafis:You can come there again right, and that's kind of how our inclement weather shelter works. It's just that we're only open on certain nights, exactly.
Laura Davis Mansfield:And it's a great program. I would like to see more shelters that didn't have the you know specifications of staying at.
Chris Nafis:Yeah, I don't know how to better all the barriers and all the rules and everything like it really is. I don't think people who aren't familiar with the shelter system realize how, how difficult it is for people. You know, like I know, people who have had to choose between their job and their shelter because their job they didn't get off until after curfew and they had to decide if they want to keep their job or if they want to sleep in their shelter bed or lose their shelter and all the work they've done in the program, and so they either quit their job or they left the shelter and either way it's a lose-lose. You know, and you know those things are in place for reasons, because the organizations have to be able to like function and they want to keep people safe and they want to see people progress over time and not just drop in and out. But it also you know that that works when people are in a certain place in their journey, but in a lot of other places this really doesn't, doesn't really help very much.
Chris Nafis:Um, all right, so we, uh, I, we've shared a lot of your backstory and I I really, you know, really helpful, I think, to hear how somebody gets to. Kind of, where you got, we, I'm going to get kicked out of library before too long here because I got I got a limitation on the room, but also want to make sure that we, that people, are able to tune in long enough to hear kind of the redemption side of your story. So you know, you, you utilize, like you said, all kinds of different organizations and programs, including Living Water and Voices of Our City Choir, which at the time was really closely connected to Living Water and they're still friends and stuff, but they've moved to a different location. And but tell me a little bit about, like, all right, so you're trying to get clean and sober. You've had this up and down journey with that. Um, where do you find sort of redemption? How does that come?
Laura Davis Mansfield:well, I think, uh, pastor chris, it comes uh, through a lot of different things, but it's like you said, in and out. I went in and out like six rehabs, um, until I finally graduated from program the salvation army adult Center. Really it was a work therapy program and I had discussed before. I couldn't find a job, couldn't find a job, couldn't find a job. So I ended up giving up. And then, actually, it was kind of interesting because my last day that I was homeless and, like you said, when I was homeless I was going to AA meetings there was a downtown AA meeting in the same building as Living Water. I was going to Voice Our City Choir.
Laura Davis Mansfield:On Friday I was community living, but there was a news article and I don't know exactly what happened other than it was God. It was God showing his light through me and, um, he just said clearly enough is enough. All or nothing, laura. I I remember distinctly thinking all or nothing. You're either going to do you're going to get sober for your daughter and for you, um, or you're going to go down this other path. And um, so, um. So I went to it was Living Water, nazarene, your church was having an NA meeting on a Thursday. It was called the open market. I helped name the uh, the open market or whatever. Thursday AA NA meeting was actually NA and I was secretary and I um, I again was sober for most of the summer at the Alpha Project and then my ex-boyfriend moved into the Alpha Project with me, which was kind of interesting. I ended up relapsing. I go to Living Water Nazarene Church.
Laura Davis Mansfield:Probably about two weeks before I finally got sober I went through a crash three times. I never graduated. I went through like like house metamorphosis. Nothing was really working. Behavior modification the seeds are planted but for whatever reason I couldn't get more than three months sober and then I just go and relapse and then I show up again and here I am surfacing again. I was known to like disappear for a while, even from the church. And then there's Laura again and and being that governor that she was even labeled me like governor because I come and I knew everybody and I was the best dressed homeless person ever because the lawn there was no laundry facilities to do my laundry other than like Neil Good Day Center, which people are washing their clothes in the sink, and that was not a good place to hang out if you were not using drugs not safe at all for a single female. Needless to say, I would just go to Rachel's day shelter, get coffee, some lunch and fellowship and clothes out of the boutique right Out Project same thing.
Laura Davis Mansfield:So I was always switching up my clothes and um, but finally it was um, I had a I don't know if you remember, pastor Chris, but you're I had a um seizure outside of living water Coming out and I had just relapsed on meth again. And um, and it was coming out of the NA meeting and I had a full on seizure, um out front of living water, nazarene, where I hit the ground hard with my head. Luckily no damage, no concussion or anything. Luckily, uh, I came to in the ambulance and what have you? But I was getting scared. I was like, oh no, like this is a meth induced seizure. And then so I kept using and we had this great smoke out and whatever, and every time I was like, okay, I'm going to be done, and then I could put away, like I said, for three months and then I'd go back to it. It was insane.
Laura Davis Mansfield:But this time I was at the Alpha Project. I was Wheels of Change. The Alpha Project had a work program so you sign up and you could go out and pick out trash in the San Diego community and they would pay you $46 cash and it was wonderful, it was I coined it cash or trash. And there's still news articles. The last day that I use is captured on video and I sent it to you, pastor Chris, a little snippet. Actually, I haven't sent you the news article, I sent you some other things filmed that day, but finally it was working. I was working and there was hope, like I. Like I said I couldn't find a job and, um, the wheels of change I, there were so many, there's like 300 people in that they only had like 10 spots, so it was like maybe once a month and it was lottery if my name got called, if I could go work. It wasn't like a daily thing, but it gave me my dignity back and and again I became like the poster child of wheels of change on the news and what have you.
Laura Davis Mansfield:But the same particular was October 3rd of 2018. And they, they filmed me on the news and I was pick up hypodermic needles on the ground. So well, I had used that morning and that was the last time I never used after this newscast. Never used again and for a few reasons, I don't know whether it's I finally got a job. God had sent me the signal like you're either all in or you're all out An awakening, they always say. You know you have a spiritual awakening, but anyway. So that afternoon it was. So I woke up the next day and I didn't use. I don't know.
Laura Davis Mansfield:Basically, it was the next day, on October 4th, we were having an NA meeting. I'm secretary and I get called out by one of the members at Living Water Nazarene Church. They called me out, they said no, you can't be secretary because you're high and you relapse. And I did take a newcomer's chip and so I got up and my friend Mario, who was helping me pick up trash, and he believed in me. And we walk out of Living Water Nazarene Church and I'm like we're gonna go back to. I don't need these negative people. Um, I'm going to go to my first any meeting I ever went to. It's called narcotics Uh, I don't know, victorious narcotics or notorious narcotics, and it was at the?
Laura Davis Mansfield:Um, the other building on down by St Vincent de Paul. I forget what the name of that building was, anyway. Um, so I went there and we're walking there and my friend Mario, who's also filmed, he said he said, uh, you need to get off the drug floor. And he's like you have too much going for you and whatever. He just he said something and then he held like a USA patch, flag patch and he's like don't do it for me or do you do it for your country, or something like that. Right, and that all kind of stayed with me.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I always was able to see the humor. I think how I've been able to get through everything is really finding the humor in some of the stuff. I mean, if you don't cry you're going to. I would much rather laugh than cry and sometimes it helps you go through bad things when you can actually look back and you're like, yeah, that wasn't really a good decision or that was kind of a crazy story, but at least it's my story, right. But anyway.
Laura Davis Mansfield:So that day I never touched drugs again. I left the ALF project, I left the guy. I started going to the God's Extended Hand sober. I went to meetings. In your building of Living Water Nazarene Church next door there was a downtown AA meeting. I was going every day to an AA, every afternoon to an NA. I have pivotal people in my life that are in the recovery community that I'm still friends with today. They said I'm like, I'm trying to get into a rehab and they basically said that my ex-boyfriend boyfriend at the time was like a weight, like an anchor, and I needed to cut the anchor and sail ship and go to a rehab anyways a whole long story which was true but I was like no, I had this great idea.
Chris Nafis:I'm like, oh, I'll be 30 days sober and then I'm gonna bicycle around the world I was gonna ask you about this because I was like you had this crazy idea and you were dead set on it. You got a bike, you had a helmet and you were going to like bike around across the country and maybe like around the world, and we were just like all right, like, but like you were so set like we're going to be able to talk you out of it. You know what I mean. We're like uh, like, uh, lord, I don't think this is gonna work, but then we're afraid you'd just be like well, then forget you, you don't believe in me, I'm gonna go do it on my own anyway. So we're trying to be like supportive, like, so, like tell me about the bike around the world thing really quick, because again, we're going a little long here but like what, tell me what happened with that?
Laura Davis Mansfield:okay, so I'm 30 days sober and uh, drugs, alcohol, meth, everything. I actually I quit smoking for about two years after this, so I quit. I quit everything, I quit. I quit even caffeine for the first month that I was sober Cause I associated cigarettes with the caffeine coffee, so I like cold turkied everything. I just got off and um so then I was like I need to get out of California, I need to get out of San Diego, I need an adventure and I always had my bike. I I.
Laura Davis Mansfield:San Diego and that's part of my um my testimony always having a bike. Um, steph Johnson bought me a bike and her husband from uh founders of Living.
Laura Davis Mansfield:Walk Voices, our City Choir. So, uh, she was pivotal to, in my um, my getting out of the cycle of homelessness, but anyway, I had a bike, always with the lights and the bell and the basket. I had it all going on. Uh, I had so many bikes, needlessless to say, I was going to. My whole thing was I was going to go to any meetings everywhere in the U S by bike and I was going to recycle in every town and buy a postcard for my daughter. I asked my daughter can I leave Cause? I was talking to her at the time and she gave me her blessing that I could go on this bike ground. They thought it would be good for me to get out of town for a while and started my freight without all the triggers. So I said goodbye to all of you.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I said and I'm sober at the time too- so I know like I, off a rocker and then I'm at the um the alf roger, and they're like they're gonna eat you alive out there, they're gonna eat you alive. I was like, oh, I'll be fine. And um, if I can survive on the streets for two years by myself as a single female like I can pretty much survive anything and um, and at one point my ex was like we're at the L project, he's like you're making homeless sound cool, laura, it's not cool attitude. So when I saw I was like, okay, I'm done with all this, I'm sober, I'm gonna go to any meetings, aa meetings, um, all around the the states and I'm gonna go cross-country by bike and I going to stay at all the shelters and use all the food resources and whatever. And I never really went hungry in San Diego those two years. I was homeless, like there was always someplace where I knew I could get food and but I'm also living in San Diego, that's going, has a lot of resources going on in San Diego. That's going, has a lot of resources going on. I'm not like Pennsylvania blizzard or anything.
Laura Davis Mansfield:So, so, needless to say, I I'm like, okay, I'm done, I'm saying goodbye. Usually I just disappear, but this time I say goodbye. I got on my bike and I have no money on me at all. Don't get generally for years, have no money, um, and I hop a train with my bike on the um coaster up to Oceanside, a half on a Metro link and I make it to Santa Ana. Now I had been homeless Santa Ana uh before and uh, right outside of Irvine, so I stay there for like a week and I'm chilling there and whole long story. So I decided I'm going to cut my hair off, right. So I got the Shanita O'Connor playing over the radio like, uh, nothing compares to you. And I shop off all my hair, got a whole buzz cut, I was chopping all the drugs out of my hair and and whatever. So that was kind of pivotal, kind of crazy. And then I made it to Skid Row. So I made it to Skid Row and everybody in Santa Ana thought it was so cool that I was like on this adventure and I was so like I had a plan and I was sober and I was at meetings and I'm recycling and everything's great.
Laura Davis Mansfield:Get to LA Skid Row. It's actually funny going in Somebody's like you need a sightsee. Have you ever seen like the top of this like building with the fuel around. So I show up with my bike and I have my um, my crowbar or whatever for my bike and so I pull up to like this huge building and they have a beautiful sky deck on the very top floor in a museum and and I started talking to whoever the guard and they're like oh yeah, we'll put your bike in this back room. And I went up there and I had a great time sightseeing like I'm a tourist. And then I'm like where's Skid Row? And they're like, oh my gosh, this girl is like looking to be homeless on Skid Row and I had so much fun, it was so fun, but they don't do any recycling, so there was no way I could send my daughter postcard and it got real old.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I joined the women's. The women's centers are very pivotal, very important. Anyway, it's like Thanksgiving and I'm staying at the midnight mission and people are handing things out on the streets and I get really sick. I don't know if it was food poisoning or whatever, but I was really sick and I remember like calling my family and I got off the phone and I was like I think I need to go to rehab. I don't need. I was already sober. I started rehab when I was 56 days sober, so almost two months sober. So I was like, yeah, maybe this isn't a good right. Oh, and they stole my bike. I went into an AA meeting on Skid Row outside the midnight mission and they stole my bike.
Laura Davis Mansfield:So I said I have no cycling no money, no bike, no way to get a new bike, don't know anybody on Skid Row. So I was like I think it's time for me to go, and so I'm back to san diego. And then I um, I called up the salvation army.
Chris Nafis:uh, the adult rehabilitation center we were very relieved to see you, by the way, because I was like she might die out there. I don't know what's gonna happen, but we're very happy to see you back there.
Laura Davis Mansfield:Okay, so then you got the salvation army yeah, and then just kind of speed it up. So I'll kind of speed it up for you. So it's a salvation army. It's a six-month uh, free rehab program. It's a work therapy program. So I worked in the warehouse during the day. I went to meetings, had support groups. I met a lot of the women in the program who were just like me, surrendered to god, became a leader, became a daughter of the king, which is basically an usher, an adherent for the church leadership position, and was really there for the women in the Salvation Army.
Laura Davis Mansfield:Other alcoholics trying to get recovery Didn't talk to any of the guys. They do have a rule like no fraternization, which is talking to guys or girls, and um, and then no ceiling called pilfering, so weird terms. Anyway, did that for like six months. I was all speed ahead, um, decided I'm not, I'm giving up on the men scene right now. They're not healthy. And um, I choose. I had a bad picker they call it like a relationship picker Like I have a bad, it's broken, so I let it stay broken and I just focus on.
Laura Davis Mansfield:And then I started coming back after the program and I graduated from the ARC. I'm living at the Bridge House Salvation Army Door of Hope in Claremont. It's called Reentry. So I lived there, sober living, for 18 months. I started working at the. I started working at the thrift store in Point Loma Salvation Army thrift store. So I'm working again, which is a key component to getting out of the homelessness. I basically just go to AA meetings, na meetings. I get a job at the Live and Let Live Alana Club up in Hillcrest that is now shut down. I found my you know people that I could relate to in the rooms. I was the all through COVID. We would like open and shut down the club but I still worked even though it was COVID, even though the center was closed. We were working on rules of reopening and the distance and how that was going to look for AA meetings, like the six feet apart, and we had a sound system, zoom and all that stuff. Then I would donate my time, volunteer at Living Water Nazarene Church, all through COVID, handing out meals during the day on my bike, and then things are going good, the 18 months sober.
Laura Davis Mansfield:My daughter I am talking to my daughter every day, every week. I've called her six and a half years every Sunday. Talk about her Since I date, basically like day 56 of the Salvation Army. I've been doing that and now I'm like day 2000 and something, um. So I was very uh.
Laura Davis Mansfield:But my daughter really, um, I didn't see her for a year and a half, all through COVID, because her dad was battling cancer. She was in a nursing program for a CNA with a lockdown, everything else. So I didn't see her for a year and a half. We've never Zoomed, we've never Skyped in all these years. It was always by phone and so I would see her like after COVID and liftoff. I see my daughter like four times a year COVID and liftoff. I see my daughter like four times a year. But it's the quality of time and it's the weekly calls that have really mended the relationship. And, like I said, it took about five years for me to really get the trust of my daughter again and so the fear that I'm not just going to walk out and relapse and walk out of her life again. So she really started trusting me and now it's a beautiful relationship. We talk about two hours every Sunday and we both really enjoy the conversations. It's a beautiful, healthy relationship that God has mended. But it took some time God's timing, not my own. So about two years sober. I started working for a rehab, an outpatient private pay insurance called Refresh Also, parent company La Jolla Recovery became house manager for the women's residence there.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I met my husband, monty, actually through the Salvation Army. He graduated from San Bernardino, came down to San Diego when he was 18 months sober and I'm two years sober and he starts living in the men's residence at the Salvation Army working as assistant manager for the men. And we meet up because I'm still going to chapel and church at the Salvation Army as a graduate and alumni, going to chapel and church at the Salvation Army as a graduate and alumni. We meet, we date. Eventually we get married. We saw a youth for marriage counseling. So now my husband, now I have a husband. He's a really good guy.
Laura Davis Mansfield:Finally, you know, really took two years, not dating, not even talking, not to anybody. And then Monty kind of showed up in my life, a very good person and very supportive of me. Then we end up. We went back to the Salvation Army because we wanted to be officers of the Salvation Army. So we kind of pulled away from all of you at Living Water Nazarene Church because we really were like we were living in Claremont in our own apartment. We were working crazy business hours. I was starting to take class at City College again for alcohol and drug counseling. It was just a lot. And so we went back to the Salvation Army and started volunteering our time there, working with the kids programs and just being present. And then God just put on our hearts for the calling to be Salvation Army officers. And here we are now. We've been married for three and a half years.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I'm six and a half years sober, I have my daughter in my life who's in a nursing program, and I'm very proud of her. So things are good. I've worked very hard to uh, discipline myself, be obedient in my calling, be there for others. Um and it's just very interesting and I'll just kind of end on this Um, when I was homeless in San Diego, there was um, I was being served, you know, by the different organizations, and for clothing and for food and for resources and shelter where I can lay my head. Once I got sober and had developed a life, I was able to give back in the same rooms of recovery, the same churches that served me. I was able to give back to them and help other homeless people, even as just to listen to their stories, to give them a bottle of water and say everything's going to be okay. I've been there too.
Chris Nafis:Yeah, yeah for sure. And I would say, even along the way, even while you were actively on the street, and even in and out of sobriety, like you were still using or not using, you were still, um, helping and volunteering and being a part of the community. Uh, and I think, like those those experiences, like participating in the ministry, is part of what builds your confidence and builds your, you know, your sense of dignity and allows you to make meaningful relationships with people that aren't just transactional I'm just here to get a water or whatever but like I'm here because I'm part of it. You know, and I think I don't know, I don't want to put words in your mouth but I feel like all of those experiences were a really important part of you kind of finding yourself again and getting back in the right track. And then you've kind of poured your life into giving back to others, serving God, serving others through the Salvation Army. Now, and it's just been a great journey to watch, so grateful for all that God has done in your life and all the work that you've done on yourself and in your own life and in your relationships to get to where you are now.
Chris Nafis:Um, it's just like a, it's like a joy to see you, you know, and to see you guys, both you and monty, to just see you guys like um, uh, just doing so well and um, and not not doing so well, even just for your own sake, but so that you can serve others. It's uh, it's yeah, it's beautiful, it's come full circle, like you said, um, yeah, anywhere. We've gone a little long here, but that that's okay. Uh, any closing thoughts? Anything? I mean, maybe that was it that you want to lead leave with people. Is that like you? Now, all the things that served you while you were on the street, now you're able to participate in, in giving back and serving the next, uh, generation of lauras who are out there struggling through life? Um, any closing dots?
Laura Davis Mansfield:really being um open to reaching out to others if you're really having um a difficult time in your life, whatever that may look like. Um to not stay isolated, because it's a lot easier to hold in the guilt and not be humble, and be not be vulnerable, because you don't want others to know that you're not doing good, whether that's emotionally or mentally or physically. Sometimes I know I put on a facade, or I used to put on a facade that everything's OK, but it's OK to say I'm not OK and I think I'm. I started with isolation once I was able to be around community, and that's really what a church is about. I started with isolation once I was able to be around community, and that's really what a church is about. It's not really about anything else, but being there together in a community, taking others as far as you come yourself. So my biggest takeaway is, if you're having a difficult time with processing anything, to not wait to reach out to somebody, whether that's a friend or even a hotline number. Just pick up that phone or call that friend, or call that pastor, or call somebody that you can trust. Go to an AA meeting, even if you're not part of addiction. We're all addicted to something, but it's a community of people so you can say, hey, I'm having a difficult time, can somebody give me a resource, can somebody help me out, as opposed to keeping it all in, because I know once I keep everything in, it's like anger turned inward will turn into a snowball effect, as we've just gone down my whole story. It's the worst times in my life. When I gave up hope was when I was alone, when I was trapped in my own bear, my own head. Uh, when I you know like I sold my car, pay my rent, so I have no way to get out there, be with people, and I just sat in my house for like three years doing God only knows what, um on drugs, because I was so bears filled with shame. Um, there's also a lot, a lot. Give ourselves a break. I think there were certain times that I was so filled with remorse and guilt that it's almost like I took a lot of anti-shame and a lot of anti-guilt classes when I was in rehabs. And there's a whole big thing Brene Brown has a whole thing on it on your mental health when you hold on to shame and guilt, and I think that's a big part of recovering from anything from homelessness, from any life's downs. It's really let go of the shame and letting people help you any life's downs. It's really let go of the shame and letting people help you. I think just being real with people and being transparent.
Laura Davis Mansfield:Today, I try to be authentic. In everything that I do, I try to be transparent and my new word of 2025 is intentional. I'm intentional when I love others and I make others feel valued and important in my life. It's very intentional, like when I get set out to do something. It's like I'm. I have a plan and I'm very intentional about it. So if I was like going to rehab, then I'd be like very intentional about me getting to the interviews. Or if I was trying to find housing, if I was homeless, I'm very intentional about making sure I'm at wherever I need to be for those resources. So it's just being intentional, being authentic self and just letting go and letting God.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I mean that's really like you said I had to do some of the work I didn't. God just didn't. You know, like you said, I had to do some of the work I didn't. God just didn't, you know, magically make my life better overnight. These things took years and um, and it's spending fellowship and other people, um, being part of a community, something greater than yourself uh, finding, you know, in the rooms of recovery, it's finding a greater. I found God, you know, in the rooms of recovery, finding a greater. I found God, you know, and that's just what I did. I found God, I followed Jesus and my biggest goal in life, honestly, pastor Chris, is if I can have one person in my life get through a difficult time, then I will be successful in life, and I really feel that with my story, there's more than one person that I've helped in my journey.
Laura Davis Mansfield:So, and you can only take others as far as you come yourself. Um, so eventually I like to be more of a a leader or, you know, inspirational talker or something to give back to these organizations right now now I'm so busy with Officer Training, college and getting my ordained minister, seminary school, all that stuff, that I can't really give back on a board or something. But becoming involved again, the hands and feet of these organizations that I feel really met me where I'm at, you don't have to be like even just going to church. You don't have to dress up and be in fancy clothes to go to church. Just come as you are and I know that's like really cliche, but nobody cares. They, like you said, we just wanted you to show up again and I'm on my world tour Right.
Chris Nafis:And.
Laura Davis Mansfield:I'm not high. You're not like, well, I wish she would get off drugs. I'm off of drugs, like, oh, I wish they're. Like, what are you doing? But I had so much um enthusiasm and I had so much like goals. This is what I was going to do. Nobody's going to talk out of me, so you're just like, okay, like there she goes again, um, but it's it's really just staying connected to your community and it's it's working with others and again, not keeping everything inside.
Chris Nafis:Yeah, I'm getting, I'm getting the hook over here from the librarian, but absolutely Well, you're doing all those things right now. Thank you for sharing a little bit of your time with us, laura, and many blessings on the next part of your journey. Just, I hope you will, I know we will. We'll stay in touch and keep keep being part of your journey. Just, I hope you will, I know we will. We'll stay in touch and keep keep being part of the story and and God's using you. So keep it up. All right. Thanks for your time. We love you too. We'll see you later. Bye, thank you.
