Say it Sister...
Lucy and Karen, two 40-somethings, are always chatting about life, and all that it has to throw at them, and now want to share their raw, honest conversations with you. Their journey of self-discovery and healing is something many of us can relate to. We all possess a unique power within us, but life’s trials often knock us off course. They have the tools, the courage to speak up and simply say it as it is, so you might feel seen, and understood and gain practical tools and techniques for self-discovery and personal growth during the changes we experience.
Say it Sister...
The Power of Peak Life Experiences
Lucy and Karen explore how peak life experiences permanently change us, sharing stories of transformational moments and the wisdom they've gained from them.
• Lucy describes her life-changing trip to Costa Rica, including a magical encounter with sloths and a profound moment of presence during a horse riding excursion
• Karen shares her challenging journey to motherhood, including conception difficulties, the moment she discovered she was pregnant, and a frightening health scare while in Delhi
• The importance of creating intentional sisterhood connections and how this transforms group dynamics
• How leadership evolves from ego-driven to ego-less, allowing for more effective conflict resolution through listening rather than fixing
• The power of simply acknowledging others' feelings rather than trying to solve or dismiss their concerns
• Finding legacy and meaning in our experiences, whether through intentional relationships or recognizing inner strength
• Reframing difficult experiences by asking what growth or wisdom they provided instead of labeling them as fundamentally good or bad
Say it, Sister invites you to revisit your own peak experiences, unlock the lessons they've given you, and find moments of joy every single day.
Hello and welcome to the Say it Sister podcast.
Speaker 2:I'm Lucy and I'm Karen, and we're thrilled to have you here. Our paths crossed years ago on a shared journey of self-discovery, and what we found was an unshakable bond and a mutual desire to help others heal and live their very best lives.
Speaker 1:For years, we've had open, honest and courageous conversations, discussions that challenged us, lifted us and sometimes even brought us to tears. We want to share those conversations with you. We believe that by letting you into our world, you might find the courage to use your voice and say what really needs to be said in your own life.
Speaker 2:Whether you're a woman seeking empowerment, a self-improvement enthusiast or someone who craves thought-provoking dialogue, join us, as we promise to bring you real, unfiltered conversations that encourage self-reflection and growth.
Speaker 1:So join us as we explore, question and grow together. It's time to say Say it, Sister.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Say it, sister the space where women's voices rise, experiences shine and sisterhood leads the way. Today we're talking about one of our favourite coaching topics peak life experiences those moments when you are changed forever by an experience that's planned, or maybe even unplanned, something that comes from the left field. Often they can be amazing experiences like travelling the world or giving birth, or even deeply challenging and scary times, moments like sexual assault, losing a job, a relationship or a loved one. But either way, there is no going back and you know that whatever has happened was part of some master plan of change and evolution. I remember in the moment my daughter was born after a traumatic two-day labor. Catalina arrived in silence. She didn't cry, I just had these like black eyes. They're not black now, but obviously when babies are born, their eyes are really dark, these dark sort of beady eyes staring at me in total silence. And it was a profound moment and one that has stayed with me and my husband, and we talk about it a lot. You know, you see the shots on films and there's always a baby crying when it's born, and she was the opposite to that.
Speaker 2:But before we dive in and go even deeper, we want to bring you, the listeners, into our conversation today, and I'm inviting you to think about a moment when you felt completely alive. You where were you, who were you and what were you feeling? What's the impact of this memory on you right now? Just take a moment here. Whatever is coming up, it's the right thing to think about. Lucy hi, welcome back. Thanks for inspiring this episode. I know you have lots to say. Fill us in on this life-changing trip of yours to Costa Rica. Can you describe your peak moment vividly? The sights, the sounds and the emotions give it to us oh it was.
Speaker 1:It was life-changing and I think I went there with this feeling that it was going to be life changing. So I went there with an attitude of you know, fill me up, you know, let me experience everything and take the learning, and the sights and the sounds were just phenomenal. So we started off in the capital city, san Jose, which is a typical, you know, near the the equator, hustle and bustle, quite run down, vibrant, kind of city. So there was, there was lots of colour, there was lots of action, there was loads of movement, music and, you know, lots of buskers, lots of beggars, lots of lots of everything. So that was a bit of a shock to the senses and we were all quite pleased to leave that behind. And then we ventured into the rainforest, or an area called La Fortuna, which is near, well, basically centred around the volcano, and so this is an active volcano still and and I think it last erupted in 2010. And so you can see the ash and you know the smoke all coming around. It was magnificent and and of course, you know, being in the rainforest, there were constant sounds and sights and one of the peak experiences it was quite ironic and one of the peak experiences. It was quite ironic.
Speaker 1:We'd gone off for a trip for a sloth trail because I said the only thing, well, you know, I need to do or see before I leave is a sloth in the wild. So we went on this trail and, um, I think they live really high in the trees and so you could see them with binoculars, but you didn't really have that. Excuse me, I've come back with a cough as well, but, yeah, you didn't really feel that connection with me. I've come back with a cough as well, but, yeah, you didn't really feel that connection with them. So it was like, oh, I'm just looking through a camera, almost. Anyway, we came away, I was satisfied I could tick it off the list and anyway, we got back to the hostel and everyone was gathered around a tree and I was like what's going on? They're like there's a sloth in the tree and it literally literally.
Speaker 2:Well, apparently, they come down once a week to poo and so that's obviously what it's not to do.
Speaker 1:And uh, and yeah, it descended to the ground and I was literally a meter away from it. I could see everything. It's paced, it's movement, and actually they move quite quick.
Speaker 1:It's just when they don't need to move, they just don't um and then you notice that there was another one, and so its mate had come and joined it, so there were two. It was just phenomenal, and so that was one of the peak experiences, because it was something I wanted so much and I've been disappointed. And then, just as like the universe would say, right here you go, lucy, here's a gift for you. It was just amazing and I could feel the um, the joy come from my toes all the way up to my heart and this, the biggest smile, came on my face. I didn't need to speak to anybody or do anything, I just let all the feelings come through and it was. It was beautiful. But the day after was my true peak experience, the one that will be etched into my mind forever.
Speaker 1:And we went horse riding and they were American style saddles, where you hold on at the front and, you know, just have the reins in one hand. I felt like a proper cowgirl. I felt really powerful. But in tune with this, this, this beautiful creature, his name was scorpion and and, yeah, he was magnificent, and and we, we did a bit of a trail and then, at the end of it, they took us up this hill, because at the top of the hill they'd arranged for us to have melon and pineapple and some water, and we um dismounted the horses and just looked around and there in front of us was a full view, in all its glory, of this volcano.
Speaker 1:There was a cloud in the sky, there was no breeze, and then to the right of me, which was probably about 10 metres in front of me, was a beautiful tree that kind of like arched or framed the view, and there were four little white-faced monkeys just being joyful, playing and just yeah, just mucking around and being silly and daft, and it was almost like they'd come out for the cameras, um, and I just stood there with this beautiful watermelon, um, hearing the sights, the sounds, with this most majestic view, and it was almost like it was so beautiful it couldn't be real, and it was that moment I was like I am here I made this happen.
Speaker 1:Um, I said yes to this and it was. It was just beautiful. So lots of other things happened every day.
Speaker 2:There were these peak experiences, but that was the one where I just felt completely at peace love that and I love I mean, I am here is one of my phrases that I say to myself when I need to kind of come back into my heart. So I love that you said that, because it just reminded me of that. Like I, literally, when my mind is where and I'll go, I am here. I am here in my heart and I just pull myself back in and I come back to the moment. So, yeah, thank you for reminding me of that, because it is so important, isn't it, for us to stay present in the moment. We lose ourselves so quickly and yet we can come back in very, very simply with some words or a memory. It sounds like, yeah, I could feel a lot of energy in my body as you were talking and, like you know, waves of sort of like, almost like air around me as well, you know, as I was like, oh, I'm feeling that and I could see it as well. So thank you for sharing.
Speaker 1:I'm so glad you're back well, I'm still processing lots, because I've only been back in the UK probably three days now and I keep getting these new memories or seeing new bits of wisdom attached to these different memories and and so I'm sure as we talk, you know, and over coming weeks I'll get more wisdom and I'll be like, oh, I've had this other memory, so I'll keep bringing that to you. But I want to ask you the same question what about your peak experience?
Speaker 2:Oh, I've had so many in my life. But I think I'm going to stick with the you know the pregnancy story because I know so many women, you know so many of us have babies, so many women don't have babies and there are women who can't have babies and all of that. So I think I'll stay with that because it's a theme for me. Um, I, my journey to getting pregnant was not easy. Um, it took us a long, long time and it was late on. So I had Catalina when I was 43. So you know, we think about the challenges of that. It was actually a lot and we've been trying and trying and trying and, um, it was a massive journey for me, like, ultimately, we didn't just go, oh, let's have a baby and get pregnant, and I know so many people have that experience, but ours was not like that yeah, mine was, and, and you completely take it for granted.
Speaker 2:I'm not gonna lie yeah, and you know we all have our own journeys, don't we? And our own experiences to have and and the ups and the downs. Um, you know, as a woman later in life who also coaches a lot of women, a lot of women come to me and have similar things or they've not been able to do it. You know they've tried so many rounds of IVF. You know they're later on in life now and they've kind of given up. So there's that side of it as well. So the fact that I did get pregnant eventually is also a great gift for me. So there's so many that journey of like the conception, or trying to get pregnant, to conceive it. I feel like I could write a whole book just around the journey for me of motherhood, like and I probably will at some point um, because it was not an easy journey and it was like you know, the ups and downs are trying. Um, later in life is it really going to happen for me? It's all I ever really wanted in life. To be honest, as a little girl I had a vision of having a family and I'm an only child, so it was quite important for me. But I tried lots of different things to meet the right person to do it with. But it just never worked out for me until I met my husband, you know, so it's been. That was huge and it was like I felt like the journey for me was really about reconnecting back in with my body as a woman. You know, I did a lot of work around my womb. I would go to womb yoga, um, I had a you know, I worked with somebody individually on that as well like helping me to connect into my body. I had womb massages. I did a detox right with Ayurveda, um, I had symbols. I was reading books you know, spiritual books as well about calling in, you know, the, the baby that I wanted to have, and all of that I mean I did. You know, I dedicated like two years of my life to this journey and didn't know if it was going to happen. And also, we tried, we were going to do this, um, and I had to not do the IVF because we were going I was going to countries where the Zika virus was you remember the Zika virus? Um. So it was really strange, even to the point where they gave me the, the stuff to inject you know the medication and she said, oh, where are you going? Again, I said, oh, I'm going to India. No, where was I going? I can't. I was supposed to go to Belize, I think. And she said, oh, you can't. Um, you can't go there because it's got Zika. You can't do IVF if you go in there. I was like, right, so there was all of this.
Speaker 2:That was ups, the downs, um, yeah, so actually getting pregnant, when it finally happened and I looked at the you know, the pregnancy test, I felt like everything stopped. It was like I've actually got tears in my eyes. I remember I kept being sick and my dad said to me have you done a pregnancy test? And I was like, oh, I'm not pregnant. Um, there's no way I'm pregnant. Yeah, I just sort of like in my brain thought it's never going to happen.
Speaker 2:Um, went to the toilet, did, got rich to get a pregnancy test, did the test and it was like the faintest little line and I just thought, oh, my god. And I showed rich and he went, oh, there's nothing there. And I went there is a line. So then he went and got another test. So we I must have done about four tests. Um, and I remember just, I actually just sat on the. I sat on the floor of the bathroom and just was like it was like it's almost like I could hear like angels singing, like it was one of those moments, you know, like one of those, and I just couldn't believe it and it was like it stopped everything for me. It changed everything, it stopped everything, um.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna say it's quite remarkable that for most of us women the most amazing peak experience happens in the bathroom it's very true you know, I don't want to be.
Speaker 2:You know, part of me is going oh, there's a part of me that's nervous to talk about it in a way, because it's almost like, oh, when we're gonna like, when I think about women and like we're here to have babies and the programming there is that story that comes up for me where I go. You know, I don't want to fall into that. However, I knew that I wanted, I always just knew instinctively that I wanted to be a mom and and I know a lot of women don't have that um, but I did have it. And so when it happened for me, after all the sort of struggles, I was like I just couldn't believe. It was like it was a shock, but a beautiful shock and, um, obviously the pregnancy wasn't easy either. So there was just a lot. There's a lot that happened in that space and for me, the idea of stepping into the motherhood archetype has helped me to feel more, more like a woman. You know, for myself, because I also I have to mother myself, you know, and take care of myself, not just my child.
Speaker 2:That's become stronger, um, because I've realized how dependent she is on me so the biggest lessons that you've learned from that the big, biggest lessons, you know it's that, it's the everyone talks about it like you have to put your oxygen mask on first. I haven't done that all the time. There's been so many times, especially in the first. You know the early years, I certainly wasn't exhausted, I wasn't putting any oxygen, I wasn't having, I wasn't even taking an air, I don't think. But now, um, I, I recognize the need for, and especially in perimenopause, because my emotions are swinging quite, quite extreme at the moment. I'm in quite an extreme phase of it and it's been kicking my ass the last couple of weeks. So that thing of like actually no, this is my space, my time and taking it has felt like essential, like a lifeline really, and I have to do it, it, otherwise I feel like I could explode. Um, yeah, what about you? What? What's the lessons that you've learned with your peak experience?
Speaker 1:so it was more about the the whole two week experience rather than just that one individual, because, like I said, it was like a series of moments, um, and I'd gone there with the intention of really tuning in and learning something. Um, and what was remarkable for me was so I was there with the all female leadership team. So, um, we basically took 48 young people from the scouting association, so they were all 14 to 24 year olds and I think there was like a 60-40 split, female to male, and I was looking after the 18 to 24 year olds, so the young adults. And so, although we were a mixed leadership team, the group that was responsible for that age group were all women and I was the second eldest leader out of all of the leaders, but in our group I was probably a good 10 years older than the other women. And then we had all these other women who were 20, 21, 22.
Speaker 1:And I learned so much about how much I've developed over the last 10, 15 years and I think when you're in your bubble with other people who are all your age, you know, with your friends going through certain life stages, you don't really notice just how much you you've come along and and that was the one thing that I started to notice bit by bit and one of the leaders she's amazing, but I think she's just turned 40. And she's like Tigger and she was bouncing around and she needed to be involved in everything and if there was a conversation going on, she'd bounce over and be involved, whereas I realised that actually that would have been me 15 years ago over and be involved, whereas I realized that actually that would have been me 15 years ago, kind of like the fear of missing out or, you know, need your ego needed to be in everything, whereas this time I actually just stood back and I observed and I trusted other people would come to me or give me the signals if I was needed, and so I realized how ego-less I'd become, which was quite phenomenal because I didn't realize I was ego-driven, but clearly I was. But also trusting these 20, 21-year-olds, trusting these 30-year-old women to demonstrate when they needed me, and I would only get involved as and when I needed. I would only get involved as and when I needed, and then I would only ever give wisdom or I would ask questions to help them figure things out for themselves, and and so all of the learning and development I've done over the last god knows how many years. It kind of. Really, I was almost like the outlier there because nobody else had been on this journey and I was able to hold this whole space.
Speaker 1:Anyway, it came to the after about 10 days. There was there was a bit of an issue between us leaders where one of the leaders felt a little bit pushed out and they were doing the whole stonewalling and of course, we both noticed what's going on and the other leader was like I want to go and talk to them, I want to get involved. What's going on? And I'm just like look, when she's ready to talk to us, she will. We don't need to go over there, we'll just like bide our time because I just trust the process anyway.
Speaker 1:The next morning woke up, we went along with our business and it did feel crappy just for those few hours, but then the one who'd got the issue had been stonewalled and said I really need to talk to you both, which is when you went for dinner yesterday, um, and you left me behind. I felt really excluded and, interestingly, um, after my response, the other leader said wow, the way you handled that was so, so amazing. And I said I can't even remember what I said. And apparently what I said was I hear you, I really understand how you feel, I'm really sorry that we made you feel that way and we'll be really conscious of that in the future.
Speaker 1:And she was like wow, your apology just came so sincerely. I was like, wow, your apology just came so sincerely. I was like, because it was. I don't have any problem saying sorry when an action of mine has hurt somebody. It was never intentional and anyway. Then I got labelled as the wise one and I got a beautiful little card from the young members and it just said thank you for your wisdom and your advice. I'm like, yeah, that's so, that was my greatest learning. That, um, actually I'm. I'm exactly where I always wanted to be and I'm sure I'll keep learning, but I'm like I'm here.
Speaker 2:I love that. You know. What I love about that the most is that I don't know about you, but I feel like we've grown up in a certain you know, certainly for me like doing a lot of self-development work. Some of those groups or um training programs are very hard and very harsh, and it's this whole idea of get broken down and then build yourself back up again. Um, I have a problem with some of it now because I look back and I think it was too harsh, it was too brutal, like I don't think you need to do it that way. However, it would almost be.
Speaker 2:If you feel like that, then the problem's on you, and what I love about how you responded was that you just defuse the entire thing and you didn't make it make her wrong.
Speaker 2:And you didn't make it make her wrong, you didn't put it back onto her, which would have created more animosity actually, would have probably really taken her down a very bad, very bad road, and I think there is something about as elders, as holders of space. Sometimes it's almost like let's just clear this up really quickly and effectively so that we can get on with the job that we need to do, as opposed to put it back on the person. Yes, there may be some things there that she needs to learn about. You know, there's obviously something going off. There's a story on the inside that that triggered for her. But she could do that work later and there might be another conversation that could be had if she was up for it. But actually the way you handled it was so kind to her as opposed to taking her down a dark path you know what I mean. And then the confusion would have been greater and then she'd have been in the trauma.
Speaker 1:Ultimately, she'd have been sat in that trauma, which is not because the other bouncy lady said I was going to say no, that's not what happened and and I said, well, that would have just created an argument. I said because that we're all right, we all experience something, and there was missing information for all of us. All we needed to do was just acknowledge yeah, I get that. I see how that would have felt or how that would have looked, and that's most of the time that's. All anybody ever wants is to be seen and to be heard and it's the compassionate way, isn't it?
Speaker 2:it's the woman's way, and it's the compassionate way and it's the wise way. So, um, I really, really love that and I can, I can feel how that would have made a big difference.
Speaker 1:Um, so well done you and you know what I think it was all about.
Speaker 1:A lot of my learning was all about the sisterhood connection as well, because the other group was uh, mixed uh, male, female um leaders leading the group of 14 to 18 year olds who are obviously very highly emotional.
Speaker 1:Lots going on, but we were a three, uh three women and right at the start, we haven't spent any time together really. Um, I didn't really know these women and we were sharing a room and at some points I was sharing a bed and um and I said, right, you know, we're going on this journey together. How are we going to be together and together, how are we going to be together and also, how are we going to be when things get hard? So I really designed that alliance right from the get-go and, as a result of us being totally honest and asking for what we needed understanding each other's boundaries are what the buttons that get pressed and respecting that actually, what then happened was that it then created a solid space for the younger people and they then started acting in the same way, and we were expecting there to be a lot of conflict and a lot of issues with this group.
Speaker 1:There were none in fact, it was just pure joy and the support and compassion and care everybody demonstrated absolutely came from our sisterhood joining together and agreeing. You know, we're going to be kind, we're going to be honest, we're going to be truthful, we're going to be patient, um and and that sisterhood element, I don't think I've ever really experienced it before, but I did it by design, not like we are going to create a sisterhood, but you know, I wanted to design a different way to lead and it was phenomenal. So, yeah, that was, that was kind of like my sisterhood connection.
Speaker 2:I love that. I love it. It's making me think a lot really about I don't like to say the right or the wrong ways, because that that feels too. Yeah, I do feel like in so many ways we've been trained, you know, like to go after things to um, fix it I think that's the word I'm getting. Like, if we fix things, you know, then it's okay, but actually we don't need to fix, we don't need to tidy everything up.
Speaker 2:There's something about just being with and holding space and, you know, allowing things to unfold, as opposed when we get into the fixing, it's like it's almost like stop. You know, I keep seeing lots of things at the moment with water and you've got this big patch of water and it came up in a coaching session with a client the other day and it's like there's this huge river that's running through and then we put a big dam down it and we block the flow of the water and that has a detrimental effect, obviously on environments and culture and, um, the spaces where people live. And it's like that when we go in and we're like, well, let's fix that, let's cut it off before it can sort of grow anymore, and actually, in thinking some ways we actually create more harm than we do good, as opposed to just acknowledging and being with and saying, you know, like not taking full responsibility for everything ourselves. But there is something around that the apology is always a good one, I think, um, you know, for the impact that we have, even if it's unintentional.
Speaker 2:So I love what you're saying here and um, the sisterhood connection. For me it's like you know, when we think about working together and collaborating and being connected to each other, it isn't fixing. There might be some problem solving going on because we do like to sort of have a conversation, but actually the part, the biggest part of the conversation is to be heard, you know, and to be and I understood the big word, isn't it? But like if someone's like listening to you and saying you know, I understand how that could have happened, it almost like the rest of the conversation it's not that important anymore because you've got what you wanted absolutely it takes all the heat out of it and um and the.
Speaker 1:The fact is, none of us have ever been in this situation with these people. You know, obviously I went on a trip with people I didn't know, into a place I've never known. But even when you're in your own lives, whether it's, you know, meeting at the schoolyard, going into the office, you've never been in that situation before, and neither of those other people. So you can't go around fixing things because you don't actually know what the best way to fix things are.
Speaker 1:So all you can do is collaborate and figure things out as you go along and and I guess that's my biggest learning from all of this you know you've got to almost cultivate and evolve rather than, like you say, put a dam in it and just stop things, because when you put a stop on things, there's unfinished business that smoulders and it bubbles and eventually it will become that volcano. Something will have to knock that dam down. Yeah, in some way because of that unfinished business, whereas when you just listen to somebody, often it's done.
Speaker 2:They don't need any more words, they've processed it well, also you get, you know, in the gift to that person is that they get probably what they were going for, which is to be understood and to be included and to be cared for. So whether somebody didn't give that to that person, but then by you stepping into that space, you're giving that, so they get to go Ooh, this does exist, I am good enough to receive it. It's happening to me right now. You know, it's almost like the pattern could be shifted for that person in such a simple way, you know, without getting into the drama of it, so that they have the different lived experience and hopefully that's the change. You know, because when people do things like, it's almost like, you know, when we meet these like earth angels that are in the world and sometimes they are complete strangers who just step in in that moment, you know, and do say something kind or do something kind or help you when you're discombobulated or something like that, you know, when we have those experiences and the kindness comes through, it breaks the pattern that we're in and then you know we don't want to know that person, but then afterwards you think that really that person really helped me. I don't even know their name, but that person really helped me and you know that for me, is definitely around sisterhood. I know men do it too, but it's men who step into maybe the feminine um.
Speaker 2:I had that experience again I'm going back to childbirth here, but when I was pregnant and I've shared this story before but when I was in Delhi and I was bleeding, you know, and and I was in a very, very difficult situation, the nurses and the doctors were all women in the hospital and I got some of the best advice from them. But not only that. There were nurses in there who were really quite harsh with me, um, and I. I used my leadership skills and said to, you know, the people in charge I don't want those nurses, I don't want them coming in the room. But there were other nurses who were really kind and really caring and you know, I was a stranger in a strange place, scared about losing my child. I think I was 12 weeks pregnant at the time and I was in hospital for a week. So you know, I had a lot of different people coming in and out and I became very clear about the energy that I wanted around me and there were these nurses and again the doctors coming in, who just gave me things like you know, try not to get. I mean, this is a hard one, but they were like you have to be strong, don't get too upset, don't get too emotional about this. Your baby needs you, you know.
Speaker 2:So at that point I was like, whatever, I'm feeling the fear, I'm fearing my baby inside my belly, my womb, is also feeling it. So I have a responsibility now to do everything I can to stay calm. So I'm like meditating, I'm praying, I'm doing all these things. But it was through, like the support network of strangers, you know, who were caring for me, that I was able to channel the right energy. Really, ultimately and I've never forgotten, I can see their faces, you know. So I can see the nurse I've actually got I'm actually friends with one of them on Facebook, um, and she's also gone off to have a baby and every now and then she pops up, you know, and, um, what a wonderful thing like that. That nurse and I actually sent her a gift afterwards.
Speaker 2:When I got back to London, I got her address and I sent her a gift saying thank you because she made such a difference to me, um, because I was scared, you know, and we need those strong women, the strong advice, sometimes as well, of someone who is not going through the experience or the trauma, but who is like holding space and who can say, hey, you know, don't go down that path, that's not going to help right now. Um, it was certainly something that I've took up, took away from me and that idea of what we're feeling and how it gets transported and how other people feel it, whether, then, whether they're in your womb or around you. You know, we are constantly passing along, um, our experiences and and really sort of like shifting things quickly and just thinking don't go there, but, you know, think of the people around you. Um, so that's, that was a really, really, really big one for me it sounds a little bit like a legacy piece.
Speaker 1:It's like something that stayed with you and informs your future is am I getting that right?
Speaker 2:yeah, and I also, I think, when I come back to the legacy, I remember that Catalina is a strong, determined, like she is, and she I mean she is that she's a force of nature. She was bought. She was conceived during, you know, complex times for me it was late on in life. She grew to be a healthy, you know, baby, um, she survived. The fact that she survived, what happened in Delhi and she lived on, is a miracle.
Speaker 2:And everyone said to me you might lose you, because all the doctors were like you look, she might, you might lose her, um, so I always had that fear inside. But you know, look at her. Now she's six, she's bouncing, um, she's full of life. And I just have to think, hold on a minute. When I get into my sort of like fear states around losing her, because I still have that story running, I go hold on a minute. She is strong, she's determined. I'm I'm gonna cry.
Speaker 2:Um, she was, she was gonna be born and I did everything I could to support that clearly, but she was, she was. There was no way she wasn't coming through and I have to remind myself of that and trust that she's on her journey and it's a big journey for her and it's a big journey for me and my job is to just stay calm, you know, within myself and not get into, you know, the fear program in the story. So, yeah, we all have these big journeys and I think when we get into the fear and the worry, we forget the big picture. We forget that there is this journey that we can't see it. We can't see it. We can feel things we can't. We might have a vision for something, but we don't really know. So we have the level of trust that we need to keep connecting and keep listening to our instincts is beyond, you know, and she's a living example of that for me, gosh.
Speaker 1:I've seen it, I'm witnessing it, I'm feeling it always gets me this one.
Speaker 2:But yeah, um and it for me it's like remind. Being reminded about the power and strength of life is the thing that makes me cry, because it's like my heart just goes. Now I'm like it's totally expanded out and, um, I can talk about the hard stuff till the cows come home and don't really cry about that so much.
Speaker 1:But the beauty and the wonder and the magic just sends me into a whole different thing, because it's like this is where I want to be, you know yeah talk to me about your legacy um, mine is on the same kind of vein really, um, but stood in front of that volcano and understanding the force that could come out of that. At any second it could just erupt. It was already active. And then just seeing this ecosystem around me and the people that I'm sharing it with, um, it made me humble in the fact that I'm just another animal living on this planet, um, just coexisting. It's not that important, it's not. You know, every time we think about the small stuff, it's not that important. Will this matter a week from now, a month from now, a year from now? And most of the stuff we worry about now won't matter. So that was like that really humbling bigger picture kind of thing.
Speaker 1:And then the other side of the, the legacy piece, was actually how you live your life, or the relation, the quality of the relationships that you have are intentional, and so all of those interactions that I had with all of those people, um, were determined on how I chose to approach it.
Speaker 1:I could have gone in with fixing or being the boss or making all about me or getting into drama, but actually I just chose to be united, aligned in the moment and present, aware, and actually that had a ripple effect on everybody else around me, and so I invite the chaos. In that, I invite or I choose the calm and the balance, and so that was a real humbling but powerful legacy for me, and I knew this stuff already. It was just a great reminder that I'm not that important. I'm only on the planet for 80, 90 years, if I'm lucky. But equally, everything that I create in my world is down to me and my impact and my thoughts, my own healing, my own triggers and taking responsibility for that, and that was really empowering. So, and that's the gift I want to give to everybody Actually, actually, you are the master of your own destiny and you can turn any situation into a magic or an amazing learning opportunity for growth. And it may feel hard right now, but what's on the other side of the rainbow is pretty phenomenal.
Speaker 2:I'm going to add into that as well, in terms of you know advice, try not to judge things as good Fundamentally. I'm going to add into that as well, in terms of you know advice, try not to judge things as good Fundamentally. I'm going to put the word fundamentally in there, because we can have experiences and then, you know, we go saying, well, that was a really bad experience. I was in really negative let's use the word negative experience. However, was it fundamentally negative and fundamentally changes everything for me? Because when I think about things, they go oh, that was a, that was awful, it was the worst experience.
Speaker 2:However, look what came out of it. You know, look at how it changed me, look at how I grew, look at how I use my voice, um to say I don't want that. I do want that um, that person, yes, that person, no. Look how I took charge of scenarios. Look how strong I became. I became a true mother, you know, in that hospital, as I was sort of fighting for her life. I'm fighting for my life in a way, because but I've lost her. I don't know. I don't know where I would have gone with that one um. So it's yeah. Try not to go down the front fund like bad, good, fundamental. Use the fundamental word and open up the space for yourself. Look for the meanings, look for what it's bringing into your life, look for the change that's happening on the inside. If you say yes to it and go for the lessons and the growth is what I would say.
Speaker 1:Yeah that's a beautiful place to end our conversation and I want to thank you for indulging me and letting me speak about some of my peak experiences, and also for thanking you for sharing yours and for everybody listening. Please do just take time to revisit those peak experiences um unlock the lessons, the gifts that they gave you and find a way to find moments of joy every single day, because they are there. We just need to turn our attention to them. So have a wonderful day, have a wonderful week and we'll see you hear you again next week. So thanks for listening and we can't wait to welcome you next time until then, use your voice, journal, speak or sing out loud.
Speaker 2:However you do it, we hope you join us in saying it's a star.