Podcast 39: Why He Isn't Texting You Back

We all know this story. A guy starts out texting you back and forth. Things are fun and exciting... at first. Then after a couple weeks the texts stop coming as frequently and then eventually stop all together. You're left wondering "What happened?"

This podcast answers that question so that the guy not only keeps texting you, but also asks you out then takes you off the market.

After you listen to this podcast, you're going to want to work with me to teach you how to talk to men so that you find and captivate your handsome, godly man.

A new cohort of the Sisterhood is starting in January, but you don't have to wait till then. Bonus calls start in December and continue through January so that you can find your person sooner.

Ready to change your love life forever RIGHT NOW? Apply for the Sisterhood. It's my small group coaching program where you change your dating process and get the love story you've always wanted. I'll see you there. Click the link below and apply.

https://www.thechristiandatingcoach.com/sisterhood

Transcript

Michelle Joiner (00:01.058)
Hey, hey sis, we have all been there. Here's the story. You're texting a guy, things start off incredibly fun. There's a lot of messages going back and forth and you're getting really, really excited. And just when you lean in and you're like, this is just the best. You send a text message and hours go by, maybe even days go by and he hasn't texted you back. And you're like, my goodness.

So you send another funny, cute message and he writes you back, you know, it's like the juiciness has gone and you're just like, no. And you're left wondering, why isn't he texting me back? What did I do wrong? What's happening? And he might even give you a reason. Like he might say, I just got really, really busy. Or he might say like the random, like I'm just not a big texter to be honest. I'm so sorry.

And you're just like feeling so frustrated and so annoyed because things have been going so well. And you're like asking yourself, is it just because he's not interested? Which is really, really weird because it's just this ethereal, he's not interested. What does that even mean when he was texting me all the time just two weeks ago? What is happening? Sis, I know how you feel.

I have been there myself, my clients have been there. I am now going to tell you why he isn't texting you back, not just so that you can change this behavior, but so that you can get what you really want. Because yes, you want him to text you back, but what you really want is for him to ask you out and take you off the market. So how do we do that? I am here to tell you that today. Why he isn't texting you back and how

you can change that so that you can go all the way to the altar with a guy that you are interested in. Sound good? All right. Here's the first reason why he's not texting you back. You weren't mirroring him. You weren't mirroring him. And the reason why that's a problem is that it throws off the energy and makes him feel like it's just not balanced. And it just kind of like demotivates him.

Michelle Joiner (02:24.981)
from continuing. here's what mirroring looks like or doesn't look like. He sends a message, a couple of messages, he hits you up in the morning and you don't respond until later in the day or even at the end of the day. And he sends you a couple of messages and you're like, you take hours to respond or days go by before you respond or the reverse where he's sending messages and you're hitting him up like right away.

and then a couple of hours go by and he writes you and then you hit him up right away. Like you see how that tension exists there and there's just not a balance of energy. There's just not a mirror. So he'll send a message and there'll be like short, like short messages and you send him long like text messages, like books. We call this being in the blue where like the blue, so blue from you is if you have an iPhone, your text messages will be blue.

and his text messages will be gray. And you're in the blue when there's tons of blue and only little pieces of gray. What you wanna do is match him. So you match his frequency, you match his length of message, you match his energy, you match his topics. So if he's being very vulnerable, you should be very vulnerable. If he's being funny, you should be laughing. If he's using emojis, you should be using emojis. Do you see what I mean? Like how like?

just like simpatico that becomes where you're like in sync with each other. That like inspires someone to keep going because they're not feeling either overwhelmed by a ton of text or like discouraged by a lack of frequency or whatever. So like you want to match what he's doing. I call that mirroring. My husband likes to talk to us about this a lot to me that

when he was talking to a girl like for him, like when she mirrored him, like that would encourage him to keep going because it felt like they were in line and in sync with each other. All right, let me give you the second reason why he's not texting you back. Here it is. I hate to say this, but it's because he's bored. I hate to say this, but some of y'all are sending out some

Michelle Joiner (04:49.202)
boring text messages like you're asking questions that don't really you don't need to ask they're questions that you would maybe ask another girl there are questions that you would maybe ask a co-worker or a friend or a schoolmate but they're not questions that you would ask a man you want to be passionate about you be interesting be flirty be mesmerizing don't be

boring. I don't even know how to say this, like ask yourself before you send a message, is this something I would send to a man? A man that was hot. Like I want you to think about like, like a hot movie star or a hot singer. Like would you really send him a message that you're about to send this guy that you're talking to? Like stop sending the boring messages. Let me explain. I'm going to go further.

into how this looks specifically in the next reason. Okay, I want to tell you this reason with the caveat that yes, I am the Christian dating coach. So I understand that this is going to be a sensitive and disputable topic. But listen, he's not writing you back because he's not turned on. Now, let me explain what that means for the Christian guy, right? The Christian guy doesn't want

you to be throwing sex at him. He wants you to be pure. He wants to be pure himself. And he wants to feel like excited and lit up. He wants to feel a spark. He wants to feel chemistry. He wants to feel fireworks. He wants to be turned on. He wants to feel like you're a woman and he's a man and all the excitement that goes with that. And you're going to have to accomplish that.

while being chaste and abstinent and celibate and pure. You're going to have to accomplish all that and you can't. You absolutely can't. I want to give you just a few examples because I know this is going to be hard to imagine because yes, I saved sex for marriage. I wanted to be pure. I was looking for a guy who was chaste and obedient to God in this area, but I also knew that I didn't want to be in the friend zone.

Michelle Joiner (07:06.434)
and I knew the way to do that, I teach my clients this, is to use I want you energy, to use teasing energy, to make him feel manly, like all of those things. Like I would not, if I were single tomorrow and I was dating someone, I wouldn't send a single text message that didn't accomplish one of those things. Using I want you energy, making him feel manly and

Teasing kind of in that funny flirty teasing way I would not send one text message that didn't have that Because I know that that's what guys are looking for and when it's not there. They don't want to keep texting So an example when you go when he says something like and guys always do When he says something that you could compliment him on by saying that's so cool or that's great Like I'm really impressed instead of saying that this is what I want you to say so

Hot. Flame emoji, flame emoji. When he writes you and says something like, particularly, or just when you see the opportunity when he writes you, I want you to send this message. You don't know what it does to me when I hear the ping on my phone and I see that it's a message from you. You don't know what that does to me. Hot, right?

That's what I mean by I want you energy. That's what I mean by turn him on. Like find the way to to be the woman that is not only pure but also alluring and captivating.

These are things that, now that you've heard these things, I know that you're like, wow, if I could be that way, if I could be that confident, I know he'd ask me out. And he would. He would. These are the things that get you not only more text messages from him, but also asking you out and putting you in a relationship with him, because these are the things that keep you out of the friend zone. You and I are not like most women.

Michelle Joiner (09:20.979)
You and I take action. You and I make things happen. You and I create. We don't just wait. And that's why I want to offer to you today to join me in my sisterhood coaching program. And let me tell you why. My sisterhood clients are getting married, getting engaged, starting relationships. They are finding their handsome, godfling men.

every single day. And the reason why is because they learn how to talk to men, how to feel confident in themselves, how to take their own opinion instead of what listen to what other people say in their life, how to find Christian men, where are they, how to go out and have fun and practice talking to guys so that when they meet the guy that they're really interested in, they are full of flirt pure energy.

They know what flirt fear is. I teach them that. I teach all of these incredible secrets in my sisterhood program and it is helping women find the love of their life. Just this year alone, four of my clients have gotten married, three have gotten engaged, and five have started relationships with amazing godly men. And those are individual clients. I'm not double counting anyone. I'm not double counting. People are finding the love of their life in the sisterhood.

It's my small group coaching program. I don't take more than eight people. So if you are interested, I would apply now not only to reserve your spot, but also because we don't start till January 27th, but for the women who join now, they are going to be getting bonus calls. Bonus calls start now in the month of December, in the month of December before the year even ends, you could.

change your whole love life. So what I want you to do is go to my website www.thecristiandatingcoach.com slash sisterhood and apply. The people who apply the earliest get the most bonus calls. Now these bonus calls are going to be coaching calls with me, but they're also going to have other Christian men that are going to join us. We're going to talk to these Christian men about what was it that

Michelle Joiner (11:44.346)
attracted them to their wives where it was a no-brainer that they had to be with her. We're gonna hear from Christian men how they were captivated by their wives so that you can captivate your handsome godly man. We're gonna have style calls where we talk about fashion and what lights the guy up in terms of how we look. And then we're gonna have coaching on you can share the things going on in your life and with the guys that you're talking to so that you can get my expert brain.

on your love life and create the love story that you really want where you're walking down the aisle at your joyful celebration of a wedding. Soon, soon. That is the one thing that coaching with me gets you. It gets you to your dream of happily ever after marriage sooner. So let's go. www.thecristiandatingcoach.com slash sisterhood apply now and let's get coaching.

and let's get you married, sis.