Podcast 40: How to Get Over Mr. Wrong

If you're trying to get over a guy who's taking up real estate in your brain, this is the podcast for you. I'll share practical tips that will give your heart the freedom and closure you need to move forward and find the guy who will adore you.

Ready for an intimate, premium coaching experience where you have encouragement and fun in the dating process AND fall in love with your handsome, godly man?  

If the answer is yes, you'll want to join me for private 1:1 mentorship. Click the link below, book a consultation call, answer the application questions, and start your journey to finding the man of your dreams.

Let's get you married, Sis!

www.thechristiandatingcoach.com

Transcript

Michelle Joiner (00:01.28)
Hey, hey sis. Today I want to talk to you about how to get over Mr. Wrong. I want to help you with this because the year is coming to a close and I want you to go into the new year completely open-hearted with complete closure, with complete readiness to start all things new. The old has gone, the new has come. And that's what I want for you. I want you to

set yourself up to find the love of your life and to completely clear your mind of Mr. Wrong. Sometimes we get hung up on Mr. Wrong. We know he's not the right guy for us, but a part of us still wants him and we just cannot get over him until you found this podcast and you are going to get over him if you follow the advice that I share in this podcast. Now there could be lots of reasons why he's wrong for you. It could be that he

Maybe he's not a believer. We often do this. We meet guys that just don't know the Lord and we really like them, but they're just wrong for us. It could be a guy who might be a believer, but he's not living his life according to the Bible as you see it. So maybe he is even pressuring you to have sex and you want to save sex for marriage because that's what you believe the Bible says you should do.

And if you're in that boat, sis, I just want to encourage you that you're with Mr. Wrong. Mr. Right will not be pressuring you for sex. He will want to please God in this way and have you a pure-chaste wife the way God wants us to be. So we know that that guy would be Mr. Wrong. But then there's lots of other reasons why he could be Mr. Wrong. He could just be Mr. Wrong.

because he's not giving you enough attention. He's not treating you with the care that you deserve. Maybe he's not even pursuing you. Maybe he doesn't recognize that you are the amazing woman that you are. And that literally is Mr. Right's one job. The way that we know we're with Mr. Right, like his one job is to adore you. And sometimes a guy shows that he's Mr. Wrong just because he doesn't do that.

Michelle Joiner (02:22.421)
So yeah, we're waiting for the guy that adores us, pursues us, chooses us, and wants to serve the Lord in the way that the Lord commands. Like that's how we know that it's Mr. Right. And a whole lot of times we're gonna be stuck with Mr. Wrong and we're gonna be attracted to him. And this is gonna help you get over him so that you can go on and be with Mr. Right, okay? So here's the first one.

Here's the first thing you must do in order to get over Mr. Wrong. The first thing you must do is remove him from his pedestal, remove him from the high lofty place that your imagination has put him. And this is someone that you could have been with for years and you have put him on this pedestal or it could be someone that you've just been knowing for months or weeks.

It tends to happen, one of the reasons why we haven't gotten over someone is because we have him on a pedestal in our minds. And this is where you need to take captive every thought and bring it under subjection to Christ. This is where we need to think the thoughts that are true. He is not perfect. He does not deserve to be on that pedestal and your imagination has propped him up to a place that he does not deserve. So.

Remind your mind of all the ways that he let you down. Remind your mind of all the ways that he is not perfect. And also, this is something that I learned when I was single from psychologists that I was reading and just studying things myself on how to stop crushing on someone that I knew was wrong for me. The article that I was reading literally said, imagine him in a

clown suit. listen, a lot of times we imagine him as the most handsome guy we've ever met. Well, put a clown suit on and put a hairnet, put a puffy red nose, whatever it will take for you to take him off that pedestal that you have put him on and bring him down to the status that he deserves. He does not deserve to be up there. He's just a human and he has lots of flaws. Remind yourself of the flaws again.

Michelle Joiner (04:45.564)
What we're doing is we're taking control of our mind, taking captive every thought, bringing it under subjection to Christ. And we know in our heart that being with him would not please the Lord. So stop telling yourself that it would. Stop telling yourself that he's perfect, because he's not. We're going to remove him from that pedestal. OK. The second thing you need to do is delete the memories of him. This was something that my dating coach told me, and it was hard.

It was hard to do. I didn't wanna do it. I didn't wanna do it. I wanted to keep the text messages. I wanted to keep the emails. You know how like sometimes you go back and you read them and you're like, what did he mean when he said that? Was I confused here? No, you've gotta get rid of them. Get rid of the text messages, the emails, the phone messages, the voice recordings.

Get rid of the presence, get rid of the memories, the pictures, just like he's gone. Start fresh, start clean. I am telling you this is the hardest piece of advice to take. It is so hard to get rid of things that remind you of someone, but it is the most rewarding, refreshing, revitalizing, renewing experience. I cannot tell you how much this is important. If it's someone that you...

were with for a very long time, or if it's someone that you just met, you are going to have memories, things that remind you of him. Get rid of all of them to clear your mind and start fresh. This is a very hard task to follow, but I was in your boat and I am telling you, there is nothing more freeing that you can do than this step. And if you do this step, you will find all the other steps more easy. In fact, the next step,

will actually work for you if you do this step. The next step is to meet more men. No surprise, right? But here's what happens. You meet more men and you're comparing the new guys that you meet to this guy that you were with or that you were talking to, to Mr. Wrong. You compare them to Mr. Wrong because you can't get Mr. Wrong out of your head. Well, as I told you before, how to retrain your brain, that's what needs to happen.

Michelle Joiner (07:02.777)
Get them off the pedestal, delete the memory so that when you meet more men, your mind will be free and clear and ready to receive these new guys in your life. The first guy that you meet, you may be comparing, comparing and despairing quite a bit. But if you keep going, if you keep talking to new men, your mind will be full of new energy. You will have...

new neural pathways that your brain will start to set. You'll start thinking about things a little bit differently. These guys will bring new memories into your life to block out the old ones. And you will be finally in a position where you have gotten over Mr. Wrong. And finally, if you're ready, if you are ready to welcome in Mr. I'm gonna tell you sis, the most life-changing thing you can do for yourself,

is to hire me as your dating coach. You are listening to me because you are a Christian. I am the Christian dating coach. And there's a part of you that knows that you can be sanctified as well as sexy. There's a part of you that wants that. There's a part of you that wants to be the captivating, mesmerizing, magnetic woman that knows how to talk to men in a way that ensures

There's a part of you that wants that, that wants to be the siren. And you know that you're a sanctified woman. You know how to be holy and godly, but you don't know how to talk to men. And you don't know how to find men. The simple things. How do I find godly Christian men? And when I do, how do I talk to them so that they're inspired and they want to commit, pursue, and take me off the market?

How do I do that? How do I create chemistry so that my interactions are fun and instead of boring interviews or worse, platonic friend zone? I can help you with that. Now, if you are like the other women that talk to me, I can tell something about you. You are the total package. You have worked hard at school. You have worked hard at your job. You help others. You have a servant heart.

Michelle Joiner (09:21.791)
and it's time to take care of yourself. It's time to honor your desires. And your desires are saying, it is the first of a new year. Another year has come to a close and I'm still alone. And you've been listening to me and you're like, Michelle gets me. Michelle gets me and she obviously gets men. She got married. She's helped her clients help get married. I'm ready to get her help myself. Why? Because I want it. Because what I want matters.

And as much as I've given to other people, I'm gonna give to myself. I'm gonna say yes to myself. I know that you have other mentors in other areas of your life. I know it because that's the way I was. I had mentors for my career. I had mentors for my school. I had mentors for my health. I had mentors for my spiritual life.

I had people that I talked to that supported me and that's what I'm here for you in your love life. I am the dating expert in particular for Christian relationships and helping women get the life that they want. So what I want you to do is go to my website, thechristiandatingcoach.com and book a call to come talk to me. Come talk to me about your love life. And if you're the right fit for my coaching program,

We'll get you going. We don't need to wait. We don't need to wait any longer for you to find the love of your life. Let's get you married, sis.