Podcast 41: Flirty Teasing that Has Him Asking for Your Number

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Transcript

Michelle Joiner (00:01.196)
Hey, hey sis, if you have been in my world for any time at all, you know that I have some very specific flirting in particular, flirt pure techniques, honey words, respect and manliness energy, teasing energy and I want you energy and all of these.

techniques you will find in my podcast and I teach in detail to my amazing clients so that they can drive a guy wild and have him completely hooked and taking them off the market. Now, a lot of my Flirt Pure techniques are particularly complimentary. They're very nice. They're very sweet. They make a guy feel really good about himself.

And what I don't want you to fall into the trap of is becoming kind of one note. One of the things that Caleb said on our wedding day was that he most loved all the multiple differences about me. He said he knew he wouldn't be able to find anyone with all of my unique qualities wrapped up in one person. So I want that for you. I want that.

to be your story for your guy, what your guy says about you. One of my old dating coaches used to call this unique pairings. For instance, like you know when you eat something and it's like salty and sweet? That's what you're aiming for here. You're really sweet and kind, but you're also funny and playful. You're really virtuous. You're very chaste, but you're also incredibly sexy.

You compliment and make him feel great about himself, but then you can also drive him wild with your teasing energy. I know that sounds good to you. I know you're like, that sounds so good. I wish I could be that way. Slight problem. How? How do I have that teasing energy? How do I drive a guy wild? Someone asked me this specifically about a week ago, and I knew I had to make a podcast to help her out.

Michelle Joiner (02:23.262)
Okay, so today I am going to teach you how to tease in a flirtatious way so that you can drive a guy wild and have him like dying to take you off the market. Like we're talking Facebook official in a relationship. That's what we're going for and teasing can help you do that. All right, here's what flirty teasing is not. One, it is not rude or insulting.

not telling you to just make a guy feel bad or belittle him or embarrass him. Like I'm not telling you to tell jokes at his expense because anything unkind is just not what this is about. Like that's not the teasing that I'm suggesting. And then two, I'm not suggesting playing hard to get or any other games like that. Like you know like how people talk about

being hot and cold or she's hot and she's cold and I'm like, I don't really know if she really likes me. Like, no, we're flirting here. We are flirting. We are making our intentions known. We are being very clear that we like a guy and giving him full leave to ask us out. Okay, so we're not playing games here. That's not what I'm recommending when I talk about teasing. Let me give you, I actually thought of,

four specific tips for flirting and teasing in a flirty way. I thought of four specific tips that I have used in my dating life and honestly that I still use today and I wanna share these tips with you and you can just thank me later. So okay, the first one is really, really simple. So tip number one.

Come up with a playful pet name for the guy that you're interested in. And this should be something funny and yes, honestly, it can be complimentary, but it doesn't have to be. It's just your funny private name for him. Now, when you're thinking of a name for him, it doesn't have to follow any rules. It doesn't have to make sense. The whole point is you're teasing. Like this is like a...

Michelle Joiner (04:46.968)
a playful little banter, a little witty name that you think of for him. It's not meant to be like a perfect description of anything. It could be anything at all. For instance, I'll give you an example. One of my pet names that I came up with when I was just joking around and teasing Caleb was Professor. I would just call him Professor. Caleb is very, very smart. He likes to explain a lot of things. I would say, yes, Professor. You know, and just kind of had that kind of like little

You heard that little to my voice, right? Yes, professor, you know, and it just kind of like made him puff out his chest a little bit like, yes, let me explain it to you. And it was just one of the playful things that we used to do. I also sometimes would call him Agent Blue because he has blue eyes. It really, like I said, this could just be anything at all that you think of for any reason. It should be playful.

It's kind of like the pet names that I use, Professor, Agent Blue, they kind of had a role playing aspect to them and that is pretty sexy. It's kind of like a secret joke that you have just between the two of you. That's what you want to think of. Agent Handsome is one that you can still, I once heard of a woman called, the guy she was interested in, Legs, because he wore shorts to play tennis and that's definitely teasing.

That's kind of like the teasing vibe that I'm talking about. So give this some thought and practice in your head when you meet any guy. Like, huh, what pet name can I give him? So what you want to do is do this in a spirit of making him smile. Like making him smile. So it doesn't have to be a description of him, but it can be.

And that's usually when it's best. If it's something that you can latch onto like and understand why you're calling him that. However, I do have a client that comes up with like a playful, affectionate name for the guy that she likes like every day. Like every day she comes up with a new one. So you can do this. It's definitely something that guys really like. So give this some practice. You can do this. All right, second one.

Michelle Joiner (07:07.96)
Second teasing tip, break rapport. And this is my absolutely favorite one. So this is what it means, breaking rapport. Another way of saying this is like you act like you're mad when you're really not. Like you act like you're mad, but you're really just playing around. And breaking rapport sort of, it's sort of like the thing where you're being nice, nice, nice, nice.

bam, and you break rapport. Like rapport is like that good feeling between you and you're breaking it. Like you're putting a bad feeling, but you're doing it in such a playful way that it switches up the vibe and it changes the energy, but not in a negative way, just in a fun way. Like, I don't know how to describe it, but it's kind of like when you...

when you come inside the house and you're really, really warm and you have like a cold drink of water, it's like your body kind of like shivers like, ooh, that's different. That's what you're going for with break rapport. So I'll give you an example. Say you are on an online dating profile and looking at this guy and he went somewhere cool. You can see in his pictures like Disney or

Hawaii or anywhere or Europe or anywhere that's particularly cool or he had a barbecue or whatever. And you send him a message and you say, what? You didn't bring me with you to Hawaii? you're in my bad books now. Then you can put a little winky face if you want. So saying that you're in my bad books now and saying you didn't bring me to Hawaii, you know, it's obviously funny. You're pretending like you're mad, but you're obviously not. You're obviously joking.

And that is what break report is. It's very obvious that it's a joke. It's very obvious that you're just playing around, but you are like being that cold glass of water on a hot day in terms of switching up the energy and the vibe. It's kind of like a funny energy. You're making a joke. Sometimes when I'm at the gym, I'll go up to the waterfront. I did this when I was single.

Michelle Joiner (09:30.625)
especially, I don't really do it as much now. Sometimes I do just for fun, but most of the time I did this when I was single and I just wanted to talk to the guys at the gym. And let's say you're at the water fountain and there's a guy in front of you drinking. One of the things that I would say is, hey, you're taking all the water. There's not like, there's not gonna be any water left for me. You're taking all the water. And I just kind of had this sort of like, you're in trouble now.

tone in my voice, but I was obviously, like come on, like water fountain, you're never gonna want on water. It's obviously a joke. And every time I did this, the guys would turn around and look at me and just laugh. Like they would just laugh. Like it's just when you're at the gym, you're kind of in the zone, not really talking to anyone. And this girl is making this ridiculous joke behind you. And they would just laugh. And it would almost always be an easy way to start a conversation either,

at the water fountain or I would go back and work out and like see him later and we'd talk because I had broke the ice, okay? So I wanna, these tips that I'm giving you, I'm trying to give you like in different scenarios for you to see that you could really talk to any guy and tease any guy right away. These aren't guys that I had to get to know first or anything like that. It was just me.

saying whatever my funny friendly mood was in at the time. So lastly, the last way I want to tell you how to break rapport is you can do this. Tell a guy that things would never work out between you. This is so fun, especially if you have never talked to the guy before. So for instance, like you can do this at Starbucks.

What? You didn't get a donut with your coffee? You know what? Things would never work out between us. know, and you're just, like, I love the confidence of that. So let's, let's say, or let's say, here's another, another funny one, even, even more specific. You could say, you didn't order a pumpkin spice latte. You ordered coffee, you didn't order a pumpkin spice latte. You know what? Things, things would never work out between us.

Michelle Joiner (11:54.118)
And he's just gonna laugh. He's gonna laugh. It's gonna catch him off guard. I said something similar to Caleb when I sent the first message on the dating app. I sent the first message. I said things would never work out between us, but I didn't say it because we live far away. I said it because like, something funny, like you don't like pumpkin spice lattes, you eat pineapple on your pizza, or you don't dip.

your pizza and ranch dressing, like just anything kind of funny and absurd that is just gonna make someone laugh and have them kind of do a double take. Like what, things are never gonna work out between us? Like what, what, Like no, why not? know, that is what you want a guy to be thinking. So those are my tips for breaking rapport. I have a lot of different scenarios that they work with. You know, for instance,

If you're even on someone's Instagram and you see something, like there's an opportunity to use these. Like for instance, if you see he's like, he's on an Instagram story and he's barbecuing or grilling or going kayaking or whatever, like you can use these breaking report tips to start a conversation with him and do it in a funny way. And so like, that's nice you went to.

You went camping, that's so nice. No, you went camping without me? You're in my bad books now. So much more flirty and fun. Okay, so let's talk about my third tip. It's called you didn't get ice cream. That's my third tip. So we all go to the grocery store and that means that everyone can use this tip. Often,

I just randomly comment on the items and people's shopping carts. And it is so funny. I start so many conversations. I have people literally thanking me for brightening their day because I do this. I just comment as I'm going along. Now, one of the things I'm gonna encourage you to do is go to a cool grocery store every once in a while. Now, I have three babies.

Michelle Joiner (14:20.004)
I have no reason to go to a cool grocery store. So I go to the discount grocery store. But I will say that when I was single, every once in while I would go to Whole Foods or Wegmans. was just the stores that were cool where I was living. I don't know what cool stores you have. But I will say that the grocery store you choose, it makes a difference. And I got hit on far more often by much

guys at the cooler grocery stores. So like I said, check out Wegmans, check out Whole Foods every once in a while, go somewhere cool because I want you to use this tip. So what you do is you say, my favorite line is, you forgot ice cream. You need to go back. You need to go back and pick up some ice cream. And I say that to people all the time and they all laugh and...

say, yeah, you're right, you know, or they might say, well, I don't know, I kind of have some at home, but you know, but so, with it always gets into a conversation and it's really, really fun. So you can also do this, you don't have to do it with ice cream, you could do it with wine, you forgot the wine, you need to go back and get some wine, that is, that is a still, I nearly had someone like, like we were about to go out to,

dinner because I mentioned wine and I was like, well, know, wine and then, you know, I also got these steaks and stuff and I'm I need to come over to your house for dinner. So definitely, definitely do this at a cool grocery store so that you can say this to cute guys and like engage in conversation with you guys. Sometimes I would say like, if I noticed someone bought hot dogs, I might say chips like,

You forgot the chips. need some chips to go with those hot dogs. just like, listen, like this is just a fun way to break the ice and start the conversation with someone out and about. You absolutely can exchange numbers. I totally had a good friend who met, started dating and married a guy that she met in the grocery store. So you can totally use this line. All right, lastly,

Michelle Joiner (16:44.266)
The thank you, the thank you tip, the thank you teasing tip. I do this a lot. I have never seen anyone else do it. don't know. Honestly, I'll be honest with you. I don't know where I got all of these ideas from. I guess they just came to me, but they are so fun. They are so fun. And I just wanna say, I just wanna say all of these tips come from a

of friendliness, of friendliness and just openness and a willingness to brighten someone's day and not think so much of yourself. Like that's one of the main mindsets that you need in order to use these tips. Stop thinking about yourself so much. Stop worrying about what other people are gonna think about you and just brighten someone's day. So okay, here's the thank you. This is how you do it.

A guy walks up with something, usually something to eat, some kind of treat. And it's obviously for himself. But you say to him, thank you. You brought me some kind of treat. How nice of you, right? So let's do that. thank you. You brought me a soda. How nice of you. I was so thirsty. Like, thank you so much for bringing me a soda. And it's really funny.

especially if you don't know the guy. Because again, you're making a kind of like assumption and starting like a deep conversation as though you know him, you're like, you brought that for me. And it's just really funny because he's, I will say I have had someone give me what they were like, it was water. And he did give me water just because I said that I was like, thank you. You brought me water.

And I was so thirsty and he's like, yeah, you can have one. And so like, this is super funny. And this is really good when you are safe for instance, like, I would definitely use this like at a church event, like at a church singles event where there's snacks or drinks, you can say, thank you. Like imagine sitting at table like, thank you for bringing me some ice cream. That's so nice of you. Like.

Michelle Joiner (19:07.604)
The main thing about this is the confidence and the playfulness and just the willingness to be a little silly. So like I said before, the spirit behind these tips is friendliness and a willingness to be bold. All of these tips, would say, I would say probably all of them do require a measure of

boldness, but here's the thing, as you do them, try on the one that feels like the simplest for you right now, like, okay, I can't do that one, but I can definitely do this one. Try them on and you will see that your confidence is gonna grow and you're gonna find like your own funny things. Cause like I said, I didn't have anyone teach me these particular tips.

I will breaking rapport as one that I heard from one of my coaches, but all of the others, I really just, they just kind of came to me because I'm friendly, because I'm friendly and I'm bold and I don't mind talking to people. So what I want you to, what I also want you to see, not only is it a spirit of friendliness, it's a spirit of wanting to talk to men.

and receive the energy that comes from being a woman who is always talking to men. That is something that you want when you're single. You want to be the type of woman who is always talking to men as opposed to the woman who is single, wants to be married, but isn't talking to any men. All right. Let me explain to you what happens when you talk to a lot of men as a single woman.

It fuels your energy. It increases the certainty that you will find someone. It grows your confidence. It makes you become more magnetic. I can't even go on. There are so many benefits from talking to men. And you can do this like the examples that I gave at the gym, at the grocery store, at a church event. You know, when you're on Instagram, you can do this all of the time.

Michelle Joiner (21:33.574)
and reap all of the amazing benefits of talking to more men. And that's why I gave you all these different examples, because I wanted you to see that you could practice teasing all the time. You could practice teasing and get so much better at it and so much more comfortable doing it. So you really will be the kind of woman that knows how to tease a guy and drive him crazy, like drive him totally wild.

with your flirtatious teasing energy. It's just so, so fun. He can't get enough of you. He's totally hooked.

Michelle Joiner (22:14.27)
So what I want you to do is one, know that you can find men anywhere and two, know that you can tease them so that they laugh and so that they love talking to you. And that is something that will totally transform your whole dating experience. Talking to men has an effect on you. like, it's not just the hormones, pheromones, it's more than that. It's the knowledge that you can.

do this, like you do this to men. Awesome. Nobody else does it, but you do. Now, if you're anything like the women that I talk to face to face or on Instagram or who send me emails or whatever, if you're anything like this, these flirting concepts are blowing your mind a little bit and you want my help applying them in your specific situation and I'm totally here for it. I am

the Christian dating coach and I can help you be sexy, draw a guy in while maintaining purity and modesty. Like sexy and confident and sexy and sanctified is kind of my new motto, sexy and sanctified. So what I want you to do in order to learn more about how I help women, I want you to head to my website, thechristiandatingcoach.com.

There's so much information on that. You get to see testimonials, the women that I've helped, the women that have gotten married because of my coaching. And on that website, you'll be able to book a call to talk to me. It's a free call. We talk about your love life and what is keeping you single. I literally tell you on the call, this is it. This is what's keeping you single and this is how you fix it.

And if you're a good fit for my coaching program, I'll tell you which of my coaching programs would work best for you.

Michelle Joiner (24:18.878)
So it's when this, well, when this podcast drops, it will be two days before Christmas. And you forgot to get yourself the gift that you want most. You want to marry your own handsome, godly man. You want to learn how to flirt and tease so that you can drive him wild so that he takes you out, puts you in a relationship, Facebook status official, and before too long puts a ring on your finger.

and you walk down the aisle towards him till death do you part. That's what you want. I can help you with all of that. This year, four of my clients got married, three got engaged, and five started committed relationships. And I'm not double dipping. Like all of these are different clients. And I know you want to be one of my success stories. So give yourself the gift of coaching with me. And let's get you married, sis.