Podcast 45: Do Guys Just Want One Thing?

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Transcript

Michelle Joiner (00:01.804)
Hey, hey, sis. I've gotten this question so many times. Do guys just want one thing? Are there any men at all left who want anything other than just sex? Like, is sex the only thing that guys really want? And is anybody saving themselves for marriage anymore? I...

to answer this question very simply. Yes, there are people who are still saving themselves for marriage and here is why. In particular, one, not the only, but one of the main reasons why someone would save themselves for marriage is because they are being obedient to biblical principles and by asking the question

are men still saving themselves for marriage? The question that you're really asking is are people still willing to obey the Bible? Are people still obeying the commandments that God has given? I'd like you to just scale back and think about the God that you serve. The God that you serve is faithful, is reliable, is dependable.

The God that you serve has followers. He has people that are being obedient to him. And what you're asking yourself is, does God's church obey the Lord? Does God's church obey the Bible? And all I have to say to you is from the Bible, it states that the gates of hell will not prevail against God's church.

So is God faithful is the ultimate question you're answering. Is God dependable? And the answer is yes. He is building his church and the gates of hell will not prevail against it. There are people who are obedient to the Lord. Now, I will say this, they are in the minority because narrow is the road that leads to salvation and few there be that find it.

Michelle Joiner (02:23.56)
narrow is the road that leads to salvation. So is it going to be hard to find a man who's being obedient to the Lord in this way? Probably, yeah, you might struggle. But what you've got to do is understand that you're ultimately asking if the Lord is building his church and the answer is yes. And then once you answer that question, then that leads you to the next question. Where can I find this man?

And I'm going to say a lot of you are just looking to meet someone just by happenstance. You know, I hear a lot of people say, I met this guy at the gas station or I met this guy at work or even I went out and I went to a speed dating event or whatever. Yeah. Don't be surprised if you're not going to meet a guy who's trying to be obedient to the Lord in that way. Don't be surprised. Now I

personally think there's nothing wrong with meeting guys that way. I personally think that you should enjoy talking to anybody that you like, anybody you talk to you can have a good time with. But if you're particularly looking for someone that you want to marry, you have to get more strategic. And that's why a lot of people work with me because I help them really narrow in on where they can go to meet a compatible guy, to meet a guy who is

desiring to obey the Lord in the way that someone with your standards, someone with your values, that's one of the things I help my clients with. I give them a list of places they can go in their area where they're most likely to meet compatible men. And I'll tell you this, most of the places on that list include churches that are teaching God's word literally and with authority. Because honestly, what you're really gonna have to do to get super strategic about this,

is start going to the places where you're most likely to meet compatible people, people that share your values. And one of the things I like to do for my clients is help them find churches that are just literal readers, literal expositors of the Bible. There's a lot of churches that are very liberal with the Bible. It's optional to save sex from marriage. I don't encourage my clients to go to those churches.

Michelle Joiner (04:49.928)
I encourage my clients to go to the churches that stand for what they stand for, that read the Bible literally and obey it. And that's what I encourage you to do. You will find that there are a smaller number of men that you can be with. Most of the men that you encounter probably are not interested in obeying God's word in this way, but there still are men that are trying to follow the Lord and obey him in this way.

I met Caleb online. Caleb was saving sex for marriage. And the way I found him was that I was really particular in the way I wrote my profile. And in my profile, was very clear that I, like something as simple as a sentence of, are the type of man that obeys the Lord, even when it's hard. Just a sentence like that will start to screen out.

like the types of guys that aren't interested in that and call in the guys that are. That's one of the things that I help my clients with. I am sort of known as the queen of online dating and I help clients create a profile that feels more like a story. It feels like a sensory experience and like a like a like they're really in your world. They can

They can smell your perfume. They can taste the things that you cook. And it's this beautiful story that makes them feel like the hero of your story when they read and they see that like, this is the type of man that you are. You are the man I've been waiting for my whole life. I love how you lead. I love how you lead with grace and kindness and how you obey the Lord, even when it hurts. love how you love the scripture and you love and depend on.

Like just by saying those words, I help my clients create a beautiful profile that totally attracts this type of man, this rare type of man. And I want to help you with that too.

Michelle Joiner (07:03.921)
Here's another thing, I wasn't afraid to talk about sex and what beliefs that a guy had surrounding sex. It wasn't an off topic for me. I brought it up fairly quickly in our conversations and I got to know like, where does this guy stand in this area of his life? And that's something that I recommend. Like don't be afraid to talk about it. Don't be afraid to ask the question, are you waiting till marriage?

guys aren't afraid to talk about it, you don't need to be afraid either. Now one of the things that I am going to say is that if you are serious about this, if you are serious about finding a compatible man, you've got to hold to your standards. I actually don't recommend that you stick around with a guy who is willing to just save sex for you.

And here's the reason why. What you've got right at the outset of your relationship is a major incompatibility with the way that he views scripture and the way that you view scripture. You take a literal, very sovereign approach to scripture and he thinks that scripture is optional. That's not the best way to start out a relationship that stands the test of time.

So I encourage you to stay true to your beliefs and move on from the guy that doesn't share them with you. Someone that you can submit to and trust. Because here's the thing, if he's not gonna take this reading, this section of the Bible, this commandment from the Lord, if he's not gonna take that literally and seriously and with all sovereignty, what else is he gonna compromise on? What else is he gonna say? You know what, I don't really need to obey that.

You want to be with a guy that you can trust is going to obey the Lord in all the ways that the Lord describes at all times. As the way that you can truly trust that he'll be faithful to his marriage, that he'll be faithful even when it's hard. Even when the children are driving him crazy, he'll love them, he'll protect them, he'll protect the sanctity of your marriage because you see him do it before you get married. You want someone that is

Michelle Joiner (09:30.109)
on the same page as you and willing to obey the Lord even when it's hard. Now listen, I wanna help you. I wanna help you find this person. And like I said before, yes, there are fewer men out there who believe this way. That's why you want everything in your corner. You wanna give this everything you got. You wanna get my expert brain on your love life. Not only to help you meet this man,

but also to help you captivate him. Also, right now, I bet what's happening quite a lot is, and this is what I find when I talk to people, they meet the guy. They meet the guy and they're like, this is my dream guy. And the opportunity just passes them by. They never form a connection. They get treated like a sister in Christ or as a friend or as someone platonic. The reason why is because not only is it hard to find the right guy, it's hard to know how to talk to men.

so that we can inspire them to commit, to inspire them to pursue, to create an attraction, to create a chemistry with him. I wanna teach you how to do that. What I wanna invite you to is my amazing sisterhood group. The women who go through this are meeting men. They are treating them so differently from when they started. They learn how to flirt in God's way. They learn how to create attraction.

and be magnetic women who captivate men and have them wanting to pursue and wanting them to commit to them. I have clients who are getting married this month, who are getting married next month. I just heard from a Sisterhood client who has a date for Valentine's Day and we're so excited for her.

I, the Lord has really blessed my ministry and I want it to be a blessing to you. So what I want you to do is go to the christiandatingcoach.com slash sisterhood where you can find out more about my sisterhood. We are starting February 10th. So if you want to get in on that, it is coming up. The amazing thing that I help women do in the sisterhood is transform their dating process.

Michelle Joiner (11:50.219)
so that they can transform the results they're getting. And like I said, the relationships that they are getting into lead to marriage. I have clients who join my sisterhood program as a six month program. Before the six month program, they're married. I teach them how to have that confidence around men, how to connect with men that they are compatible with, and how to create chemistry and communicate with them in a way that

feels magnetic and sizzly and sexy and still is sanctified. Like, how do you do that? Like, how do you create that spark where you have this, want you energy, but you're still being pure and modest and sanctified. How do you do that? You join my sisterhood and let me teach you that I am the Christian dating coach. I know how to help you get a Christian guy. It's the start of a brand new year. I know you promised yourself that everything would be different this year.

And that's what I want to offer you in the sisterhood. So go to my website, thechristiandatingcoach.com slash sisterhood, or you can go to the show notes. There's going to be a link in the show notes for this. And you can find me on Instagram, Facebook. If you're not getting my emails, then just go to my website, sign up for my emails, thechristiandatingcoach.com. There's all the ways that you can find me, but don't miss out. The sisterhood is starting and we want to start your year off right. Yeah?

Let's get you married, sis.