Podcast 49: Stop Trying to Get to Know Him

Falling in love happens in an instant. One day you're single. Next day, and for the rest of your life, you're not. It happens in the blink of an eye. It truly does not matter how long you are single because you'll be spending the entire rest of your life - not single. Your future husband is out there. You just need to meet him... and you will. 

Sis, your handsome, godly man is ready right now to fall in love with you. He's ready to take you home to meet his family, get down on one knee, and propose to you while everyone jumps up and down to cheer you two on.

I can help you meet this guy and show you how to have him crazy about you and dying to take you off the market. 

The main thing single, Christian women struggle with is finding compatible, godly men AND knowing how to talk to them so that they pursue and commit.

Through coaching, I help you with the mindset and strategy you need to combat those two obstacles. You meet more compatible men so you have options. AND you learn how to flirt so that you create chemistry. That's what leads to relationships and marriage.

Come work with me in my private, 1:1 coaching program where you find the love you've always longed for. 

Use the link below to make an appointment for a conversation with me on why coaching is just what you need to find the handsome, godly man that God created just for you. I'll help you find him and teach you how to inspire him to commit to you right now.

Let's get you married, Sis!

www.thechristiandatingcoach.com

Transcript

Michelle Joiner (00:00.824)
Hey, hey, sis, stop trying to get to know him. Did that hit you like a little bit of a surprise? Stop trying to get to know him. I see you, I see your text messages, I see your dating app messages. I'm sorry, sis, but it's boring. It is so boring and it's not what creates chemistry. I know people try and do this. They try and say,

Tell me about yourself or tell me what your, I don't know, tell me what makes you tick. what are your best qualities? What are your worst qualities? What are you afraid of? And they're asking all these questions like trying to get to know someone and it's so boring. Why? Because life is boring. Life is boring. There is nobody, you're not gonna meet someone who's gonna say,

Well, I am a race car driver and I spend most of my life going to races around Europe and staying in castles and eating like nobody, you're not gonna meet anyone that interesting. I hate to break it to you, but like most of us live pretty boring lives and you meet someone on a dating app and they start talking to you and they want you to tell them about their boring life. Like tell me.

about your life? Well, my life's pretty boring. I'm an accountant and I, you know, that's pretty much it. That's pretty much it. I went to school. I'm an accountant now. I play volleyball with some friends on Friday nights and you know, pretty much just spend most of my time going to the gym, right? Boring. So listen, I am telling you, I am just giving you a POV, like a public service announcement.

Stop trying to get to know him. Here's what you do and said. Focus on creating chemistry. Focus on creating chemistry. Now in my coaching program, like I teach my clients how to do this. Most of my clients, coach at least six months. And so it gives you the time to transform where this becomes like your psyche.

Michelle Joiner (02:25.365)
how to talk to men so that you're creating chemistry and getting him excited to pursue you. I'm gonna give you a small window into how you do that on this podcast. It's really hard to create transformation on podcasts. That's why I'm always inviting you to my coaching programs. But I wanna give you a small taste of how you do that. So when you hear me say, create chemistry, create chemistry, create chemistry,

This is how you do that. You go into a little world with this guy, right? This is how I did it when I was single. I sent a few strategic text messages and I stayed in this flirtatious world with Caleb, specifically Caleb. You can actually...

see like if you can take my course and see the text messages that I sent Caleb when I first started dating him. If you're interested in that, if you want to just take my course and see the messages that I sent Caleb, send me an email, michelle at the christiandatingcoach.com or go to my website, the christiandatingcoach.com and just buy the course. But listen, I stayed in a bubble with him, a bubble of flirt.

capacious energy. And that is how like we created chemistry together. So anytime he tried to to take us out of the bubble and start a really boring conversation, like one of the conversations that he was interested in was have you ever been in a long distance relationship before? And I could have gone down that track and started talking about that, but it was so like, no, we're not talking about that. We're we're we're here to fall in love.

We're here to create a spark and to create chemistry. So let me give you a few tips on, I'll give you a few examples of the messages that I sent to Caleb that got us feeling like we were in a flirtatious bubble. So one of my favorite text messages that I would talk to guys about,

Michelle Joiner (04:46.248)
is I would send a message like if we could go on, if money wasn't an option and we could go on like the hottest, like the hottest date we could like even imagine, like where's like the hottest place that we could go on a date and like it'd be like our dreamiest, most awesome first date. So that's kind of wordy and like stumbling over it, but that's like how I would say it if I was talking to him in person.

But if I was sending it to him in a text, I would say, if money wasn't an option, what's the hottest date we could go on for our first date, right? Just like short and sweet. When you do that, you are inviting him to start fantasizing and imagining you too. You are taking him to a world that is just you too. And not only a world that is just you, a hot world, a dreamy world.

Out of the boring world, do you see where I'm going with this? Like, this isn't like, where's the most boring date that we could take me on? You're going to take me to Starbucks and we're going to have coffee snore. I mean, it's awesome if it's the love of your life. But, you're saying like, what's the hottest place we could go? What's the dreamiest place? And then the two of you kind of go into this sort of like imagination land, right? And you can fall in love there. What you don't want to do.

is go to that imaginary dreaming place and then just segue back to tell me about your boring life. know, like don't do that. Stay there, stay there. Like for me, it was, well, I would want to go to Italy and be by the beach and make clams with bacon on the fire pit and just cuddle, listening to the waves.

And like, so like, I'm like going into all this, right? And he's like going into it too, like, yeah, so like, you know, that sounds awesome. Like what kind of wine do you like? And like, we're kind of like in this dreamy state, like thinking about it, like, I love Italy too. Like, I, it's just, I love the food and I love the landscape. And like, we're like totally daydreaming together. And you just stay there, you know? And you, you talk about like,

Michelle Joiner (07:09.324)
all the romantic things you could do together on the beach and like all the romantic things that you could do together in Italy. And then like you're totally just imagining with this. This is the guy you just met. You guys just met. And the two of you are imagining this incredible romantic vacation with the two of you. And then you start slipping into like, you know what? Like you're pretty good at like creating a hot date. I'm totally in. And then you use some flame emojis and you tell them like

You you really know how to show a girl a good time. And you're just kind of complimenting it making him feel good. And you're having this fun time imagining this. You see where I'm going with this? How juicy this sounds and how excited you both can get. That creates chemistry, right? And one of the things I love about this is you hear, I don't know, I hope that you hear, if you know what I teach about Flirt Pure, you hear the.

the I want you energy in there. Like we're on a beach and it's romantic and we're cuddling and like you hear, you know how to show a girl a good time, flame emoji, flame emoji. And you know, like there's a lot of I want you energy here and it's enticing and it's magnetizing and it makes people, it create the spark that you're looking for. Okay, so that's one example. Another example is something that I used with Caleb and

That is I said, OK, a lot of my clients love this one, too. I like the first message that you send them. You don't say, hey, I love your profile. Don't do that. Like just just don't don't ever said, hey, I love your profile. Don't ever send that. But you could send something fun like, you know, OK, we have like 97 percent match, but I'm not so sure if things can work out between us. Tell me this. Do you eat ranch dressing?

with your pizza. I love this. I sent a message very similar to this to Caleb. I actually said, do you like peanut butter? I was on a health kick and I had something against peanut butter at the time. was really crazy. But I think it's actually funnier to say, do you eat ranch dressing with your pizza? I've seen that really popular with my clients. And it's really fun because

Michelle Joiner (09:35.977)
What you're doing is you're, it's called breaking rapport where you're like, you're saying like, you haven't won me over yet. That's another good one. Like you have the most gorgeous size, but you haven't quite won me over yet. Do you eat ranch dressing with your pizza? Like any kind of like bait and switch? Like do you put cream in your coffee? Do you, you know, any kind of like, any kind of like, well, no.

Like we could have been a great match, but it's over between us. Like that was that was always a fun thing. I like to say, you know, like I used to say, like I would go to a Starbucks and I'd be like, oh my gosh, like you didn't order a croissant with your coffee. Things would never work out between us. And I would just say that people would just laugh because it's like it's like you're making this big assumption, but it's just funny. Like we've never met. I don't know you, but hey, we can work. We can work. Like, what do mean we can't work? And it's just

It's just this fun teasing energy. And again, I've seen people like take this all the way to, well, no, you've got to try ranch dressing on your pizza. It's so good. Tell you what, if you don't want it, I'll eat it. I'll eat the ranch dressing. You can have the garlic sauce or you can have the butter sauce. And then they're like having this playful banter. And he's like, so there's this great place I want to take you to. They serve the best pizza. Like it's just a perfect setup.

And again, you're having this banter and creating this charisma between the two of you. And you haven't talked about your boring life once. The last one I want to tell you about is one one that I did use with Caleb, where I can't I can't really remember what started out. I should go watch my course to see to see like what started this. But. I asked him, said, well, what do you think is the sexiest fruit?

Again, I want you energy, but also Nothing to do with his boring life. It's just nothing to do with his boring life Not only am I using I want you energy by talking about the sexiest fruit, whatever that means It's just fun. Like it's just a fun like it's just a fun topic of conversation Like what's the sexiest fruit? I don't know and like I was saying like I think strawberries are the sexiest fruit like they have just the right measure of like

Michelle Joiner (12:02.878)
sweetness but also tartness and like they kind of like was like this that unique like combination of of just Perfectness like the perfect unique combination where you know It's it's nice and cool and you're like having one bite, but you wish you could have one more bite and Then he was like, yeah, I you know, think strawberries are 60 to like and Caleb started going into like

Did you know that they reproduce by sending runners? And he just totally nerded out. And it was just so funny. And listen to this, after we had these conversations, you know what happened? I said, my name's Michelle, by the way. At this point, we were hooked. At this point, we were falling in love because we were just having this romantic kind of like,

imagination, dreamland together. there's so many, sis, there are so many other ways you can do this. I'll give you one last one. Just one last one. There was a point in our conversation where I said something along the lines of that question of like, what are you looking for? Which I don't think is a bad question as long as you give a good answer.

And my answer was a kindred friendship, a passionate romance, and a forever friendship. And then I said, like, is that asking too much? But do you hear those words that I use, like friendship, romance, passion? You know, I'm like really setting myself apart from any other conversation he's ever had with any other woman. And that is what Caleb

says about me, like he feels as though there's so many unique things about me, he would never find me in any other one person. Because there's all these things about me and just me, like all these different unique ideas and bells and whistles, but just in one person. That's rare, that makes you rare, right? So I hope this helps. I hope this podcast inspires you.

Michelle Joiner (14:26.424)
Believe me, it is boring to talk about life. Don't do it. Talk about dreams. Talk about fears. Talk about secrets. about goals. Talk about memories. Don't talk about your boring life. Believe me, that's not going to create chemistry. And if you are listening to this and you're like, OK, I'm beginning to understand. I'm beginning to see what she means. Listen.

All I want you to do is go to my website and pick up my course. And if you want, you can send me an email and I'll give you a coupon. I have a Black Friday coupon. The course is normally $297. I have a Black Friday coupon that I offer. It's for $97. Shoot me an email, michelle at the christiandandicoach.com and I will give you that coupon because listen sis, I want to see you fall in love.

get married, I know for sure that falling in love happens in an instant. And you're single, single, single, single in love. It happens in an instant. And all those years where you were single, they don't matter anymore. They don't matter. They're a thing of the past because now you found your person. And your person, I am telling you,

Your guy is out there and you just need to meet him. He is ready. He is ready just like you're ready. He's ready to fall in love, take you home to his family, propose to you, get down on one knee, hold out a ring in front of you, and you're gonna say yes. And everybody is gonna be jumping up and down. And then you're gonna start planning your beautiful wedding and your honeymoon. Like that is what's coming for you.

And I want to be a part of your journey. I have a very unique perspective. People tell me this all the time. Nobody teaches what I teach. And it works. It helps people get married. So I want you to either go take my course or hit me up for some private coaching. Let's get you married, sis.