Podcast 57: Should I Move for Love? Let's Settle This.

Should you move cities (or even states) just to hopefully find love? In this episode, Michelle finally puts this common question to rest — and her answer might surprise you.

She shares her personal story of moving across the country for love — the risk, the reward, and what made it worth it — and contrasts it with the all-too-common idea that changing your location will change your results in dating. Spoiler: it’s not about where you live — it’s about what you’re doing (and not doing) to meet and connect with men.

Tune in as Michelle breaks down:

• When it's actually wise to move for love — and when it's just a distraction
• The two key shifts you need to make to start seeing results where you already are
• Creative (and surprisingly fun) ways to meet more Christian men in your area
• Why flirting and chemistry are non-negotiables — and how to create both

Ready for a more strategic and spirit-led approach to dating that actually works?

📣 Apply to join Michelle’s intimate coaching group:

 www.thechristiandatingcoach.com/sisterhood

 Let’s get you married, sis. 💍

Transcript

Michelle Joiner (00:01.122)
Hey, hey, sis, I would say probably maybe once every two or three months, I get this question. Should I move for love? I get this question in all sorts of places. I like to chat with people on Reddit. I like to chat with people on Instagram or sometimes my clients ask this.

I could be out and about with my friends and meet a single Christian woman and she asks this question. And I realized I need to have a resource to just say, go listen to this podcast episode where I finally put to rest this topic, should I move for love? The short answer is only move for love if you know the name.

that love for instance, I moved for love I was living in Michigan and I had met Caleb and we were talking about marriage and we were talking about Really going the long long haul in our relationship. He was in Oregon I was in Michigan and we decided I would move to his part of the country he had his family and

all of his life in Oregon. And I really wasn't very settled in Michigan. None of my family was there. I hadn't really put down any roots. And we just decided the best place for us to start our life together would be in Oregon. So I moved for love. And it was hard because we weren't engaged yet. We obviously were in a committed relationship, but...

we weren't engaged yet. So I was kind of moving with the hope that this would be forever. And we had been talking about marriage, but we hadn't pulled that trigger yet. And so it was definitely a risk on my part. I sold my condo. He came and helped me paint and get the place ready. We put it on the market. He helped to talk me through the selling, the buyers and things like that. And I packed up my condo.

Michelle Joiner (02:25.118)
had the moving trucks, got a new job and moved all the way across the country from Michigan to Oregon is three time zones. It took us days to get my dog and my car to Oregon. It was a big deal. So I'm here to tell you, if you are asking the question, should I move for love? And you know the name of that love, I would say do it. I would say go for it. There is no better.

risk to take. There is no better, more rewarding opportunity that you can gamble on than love. Now,

And there's a but here. There's a but. There's a however here. If you don't know the name of the person that you're moving for, if you were just moving because you are single and you wanna find somebody, but you were thinking to yourself, well, the town that I live in is too small and there's nobody here. There's nobody here. There's nobody that I can be with. And...

I'm not finding anyone, I'm not having any success, and I think I should just move. I think I should just move somewhere. Okay, let me ask you this. Where are you gonna move? Because last I checked, there's nowhere on the planet that has like a husband shopping center. There's nowhere where you can just go and plug yourself in and right there immediately, you're gonna find your person. Now,

I will say, if you want to move, if you want to go somewhere different, if you're tired of where you're living right now, if you're ready for an adventure, if you want to start fresh somewhere else, go for it. But should you move just to hopefully find someone in a different part of the world? That part of the world does not exist, my sister. I have clients in LA, Los Angeles, Atlanta. I have clients in Europe.

Michelle Joiner (04:33.679)
I have clients in Australia, I have clients in Canada. There is nowhere in the world that has a market for single Christian men ready to marry you. There are so many things that go into who you're looking for. And there is nowhere that's gonna guarantee you're going to magically find that. And I promise you sis,

whatever is stopping you from getting married where you are right now is going to continue stopping you when you move to a new city. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. The thing that is stopping you from getting married has nothing to do with where you live. And I'll prove it to you. I bet that there are people where you live that are getting married.

and finding their person and starting relationships right where you live. It's just, you're not one of them. So what we need to change is not the location, but the processes that you're using in order to find your person. I like to say that there are two main things that need to change. Two main things. It's like a really simple,

simple dial you need to twist. One, you need to be meeting more men, meeting more men in particular. Yes, meeting more men in general so that you can change your energy and stop living in like men scarcity and stop believing that there aren't any men around. You need to meet more men. And you can do that just by picking up your head and looking around you.

when you go to the grocery store, when you go to the library, when you go get coffee, when you go to Target, when you go to Walmart, when you go to the bookstore, when you go, I don't know, like when you go out to church, when you go to the gym, if you would just kind of raise your head up and look around, you would see there are men here. There are men here. I'm just not talking to them. So that's the first thing. Next, you need to find men that are.

Michelle Joiner (06:57.284)
with you, godly Christian men in your age with your interests. So what are you doing for fun? Are you going dancing? Are you going to other parts of town where they have museums and concerts? Are you going, are you playing board games? Are you going bowling? Are you meeting people for coffee or meeting people at restaurants? Are you in professional groups? Are you networking?

What are you doing just in your daily socializing life in order to meet people? Cause that's all that needs to change sis. I'll give you like a pro tip. For me, I used to go to, and I tell my clients to do this, go to a lot of like, if you want to go somewhere and like if you think your location is sublime, go places like conferences, like Bible conferences, ministry conferences.

That tends to be a bigger draw for men. And then the other thing that's a really great draw for men, especially the kind of man that you're looking for, is events like sporting events, like races, marathons, triathlons. Go volunteer at them and meet the athletes. Looking for a good looking guy with a great body? Go to an athletic event and volunteer and meet some of the guys who are doing the races.

The other thing that I love for that, for meeting great guys is volunteering. I used to volunteer so much when I was single. I would volunteer as a tutor for different schools, for math, for chemistry, for reading. I would just go into the schools and volunteer there. The other place that's really great for volunteering if you want to meet more men is Habitat for Humanity. like, listen, all these...

All these are ideas I know, I know you have not tried yet. And so those are the places I would start to go and the things I would start to think about if I was like, I'm not meeting the guys that I want to meet. Once you do that, once you start meeting the guys that you want to meet.

Michelle Joiner (09:19.551)
The next question is, how are you talking to them? Are you able to flirt and create chemistry? Are you able to have numbers exchange where he's contacting you and you're not meeting a great guy and never seeing him again? Are you able to stay out of the friend zone and actually move it towards something romantic? Are you able to progress the relationship where it goes from, hey, how are you? My name's Jennifer.

to can we go out? To I wanna see you again. To I don't want you to see anyone else. I wanna be in relationship with you. Are you able to progress the relationship? Because if you aren't, sis, that's what I'm here for. What we wanna learn how to do is talk to men so that they feel something. The kind of guy that you're looking for wants to feel a feeling.

He doesn't want just good conversation. He wants to feel something, right? He wants chemistry. He wants a spark. He wants there to be electricity. And you do too. I can teach you that. I can teach you how to create chemistry in your interactions and how to find more men. I gave you a list, but wouldn't it be nice if instead of a random list of different things that Michelle thought of, what if I could get

personalized help. What if I could get a list of places to go in my area that were specific to me that was specifically created just for me like matchmaker level type of connection list. I can do that for you. What I'd love to invite you to is to go into the show notes and you'll see a link. It's www.

The Christian dating coach calm sisterhood. I want you to go apply for my sisterhood That is where I will teach you how to talk to men more effectively with more flirtatious energy and how to create chemistry So that the guy feels something when he's with you so that you feel something when you're with him So that you both fall in love and progress the relationship, but even before that sis

Michelle Joiner (11:47.389)
I'm going to help you meet more men so that you have options and you're not thinking in yourself. I need to change everything in my life in order to meet someone. It's quite simple. In the sisterhood, I help women connect with more men and create more chemistry. Sound good? Go to my website www.christianthediancoach.com slash sisterhood and apply. I'll see you there. Let's get you married, sis.