Podcast 61: Make Him Crazy About You in One Week

She was having a pleasant conversation.
It was fine. It was nice. But I saw what could be.

So, I gave her a challenge:
Make him crazy about you by the end of the week.

She laughed. Then she did exactly that.

In this episode, I’m sharing the exact shifts I coached her through—so you can do it too.

No games. No pressure. No compromising your values.
Just Flirt Pure confidence, godly femininity, and chemistry that honors the Lord.

Transcript

Michelle Joiner (00:00)
Hey, hey sis, let's talk about being unforgettable. I have a client who was texting this great guy, godly guy, and she liked him and the conversations were fine. They were fine, they were sweet, they were respectful, they were nice, but he wasn't pursuing her. She was on his mind, but not...

you know, like in his heart just yet. And so I gave her the challenge. Your job is to make him crazy about you by the end of the week. And of course you're laughing to yourself and she laughed, but then she did exactly that. And in today's episode, I'm going to walk you through the shifts that I coached her through that took her

from polite conversation to a real romantic connection in a week. And no, we're not talking about seduction or manipulation. We're talking purity Christian standards here, but we are talking about a confidence, a clarity, and a feminine energy that actually reflects God's heart and draws a godly man in with pure desire. So let's get into it.

The first tip, the first shift that my client made that I coached her through was to stop being so nice. I think we as Christian women are taught to be nice. We're taught to be kind and gentle. And I think all that is great. But listen, nice girls don't finish first in love.

They finish kind of forgotten because the niceness can be a little bit, how do you say, almost boring, almost not. It doesn't have that grab. It doesn't have that pull. When we're always so nice all the time, we're being sweet and polite and it doesn't create a spark of desire, right? So we really want to think about it and ask ourselves because

Niceness usually leads to very pleasant conversations and no feathers ruffled. But the thing about it is, and I've said this before, that men don't marry women they have nice conversations with. They marry women that they feel a spark, that they have a feeling about, right? And so you're not being disobedient or unfeminine to have edges.

You're actually being very feminine to have edges, to have those different energies about you, to have those special differences about you where you're one minute, you're one way one minute and you're one way another minute. And there's a little bit of the unexpected about you because your aim isn't really to just be liked.

Your aim is to create chemistry. And I want to be clear, chemistry has heat. Chemistry has fire and electricity. Chemistry is not nice. And like, this is a nice conversation. Chemistry has like a real pull to it. And I want you to think about it in a married context that a wife isn't just someone a man admires. A wife

is the woman that he feels drawn to, right? So we have to create that. And I'll tell you how we create it with the second shift. So I'm telling you the first shift that we make is to move from being Miss Nice Girl and we move to being I want you. I want you energy. So that's what I told her. You don't want to create a night, hear me now. We're not trying to create some sexual energy. We're not. We're not.

because like I said, I think it would be beautiful if you could go into your marriage saving sex for marriage because that's what God calls us to. But we still need to create that tension there and that desire and play and heat and electricity, right? So let me give you an example of some things you can say. And remember I always say,

We always want to avoid anything overtly sexual. Even if we are using the word sexy, I think that you can do it quite beautifully by not referring to anything sexual. So for instance, sexy Clark Kent glasses, right? We can say that and create that little sizzle, that person, without creating a sexual moment, right? So we're using a non-sexual

object and calling it sexy and that's really fun and cute and and creates that draw and pull while remaining modest. So if you're going to use words like sexy, which I think are fine, refer to things that are not sexual so that you stay out of that immodest impure zone where we don't want to be. I'll give you some specific

ways that you could say this, some little some little lines free of charge. So here's one line you could say. You make me nervous and the best way, right? Right. Like I want you to imagine saying that to a guy and how is he going to feel like literally imagine that is what you want. You want his heart to be like, whoa, right?

And he doesn't even know what's happening. He doesn't realize he was just hit by flirt pure. All right. And then you can be in a moment of vulnerability. I wasn't planning on liking you this much. I love that because it's a little bit of a tease. it's a little bit of not only I want you energy, but also teasing energy. Like I wasn't planning. Like you surprised me. You surprised me in a good way. Right.

But it's also, I love the idea of teasing, but also in a positive way, right? like it's a way that makes him feel good, but also a little bit, a little bit of a, wow, you know? Like I could have missed this and I'm so glad that I didn't. I pleased her, I made her happy, I did my job.

Anytime we can do that to a guy, he is feeling like, ooh, I need this girl. I can't let this girl go. And then the last one, the last little line, you're dangerous. Ooh, I totally love that. I love the word dangerous. I love asking a guy what's something dangerous that you've always wanted to do but never done. I love telling a guy he's dangerous. Like, yes, yes, please give me some of that.

This is flirt, pure strategy in action, playful, charged, but still respectful and modest, right? So, so good. And then the last thing I want you to just think about when I'm telling you about this idea of like, want you energy. I want you to think about this. God created desire. God created it. And if you haven't read Song of Solomon recently, you might want to go take a look at it.

You are not being ungodly by being irresistible. You're not. You're being radiant. And really, you're being the way God created you. You are being the way God created you. All right. The next shift I want to share with you that I coach her on is to lean out. And this is something my coach talks about, where you are not really overly attached to the outcome.

You're good. Whatever happens, you're going to be good. Whatever happens, you're going to meet your person. You're going to get married. You're going to walk down the aisle. If it's not this guy, it's going to be someone else. Listen, you.

Don't need anything from this guy. You don't. You don't need anything from him. So you can lean out and breathe, right? So no follow-up texts, no checking in. Did you get my last text message? If he hasn't texted you back yet, you go on about your business. You go have coffee with a friend.

You go paint your nails, whatever. You're not sitting around waiting for his texts. You're not managing his side of the conversation, like answering the question that you just asked him. If he hasn't texted you back yet, then you don't text him back. That's it for now. Like we're just gonna sit, we're just gonna wait. And honestly, I want to share something with you that I shared with my client. Here's the thing.

The space between you two talking creates anticipation and desire. What? Yes, you're not saying anything could make him like you more. It's creating more of a pull. Why isn't she writing me? Why isn't she chasing me down? I guess I need to step up and pursue. Like I better not let her go because she's not gonna, she's not gonna be waiting around.

Like that space creates tension. That space creates desire and anticipation. And I better get my act together and right this girl. Right. So if you were able to lean out and.

And just be patient. It really does, when you like a guy, it really does require some patience, right? Like if he hasn't written you back yet, it requires some patience. But that's where you remind yourself of how valuable you are and how desirable you are. And you decide that, I wanna be courted. I wanna be courted. I don't wanna be chasing. And so,

We also have an air of confidence around us that he'll get back to me. He'll get back to me. If this is the way, if this is the way it's meant to be, he'll get back to me. He's not ghosting me. I'm just going to sit and receive, right? I'm not here to chase. I'm here to respond to pursuit is what you tell yourself in this situation, because ultimately, and I'll share this, this final shift.

Ultimately, we need to have no fear and also no doubt We very quickly and this is something that This is something that I see with a lot of my clients. We very quickly say it's not gonna happen I don't know how many women I have coached this week who have just thrown in the towel and said it's just not gonna happen And I'm like wow

God is powerful, God is miraculous, God is the surprising unexpected things. What do you mean it's not gonna happen? And God surprises us, God surprise them. So the last shift that you need to have is to release the doubt, release the fear, because all you're trying to do is protect yourself and trying to manage your own disappointment.

What I'm encouraging you to do is to continue to have hope because we don't know what God has planned. I have so many fun stories of clients who gave up hope and then God miraculously brought the guy back around. It happened with this client. It's happened with other clients. It will happen in the future. So what I want to encourage you to do is have hope. Don't give up. Don't have doubt. Do these shifts.

The shifts are to stop being so nice, to use I want you energy, to lean out and be courted, and to have no fear. Because by the end of the week, with this particular client that I'm sharing about, let's just say, after all of these beautiful shifts she made, by the end of the week, let's just say, he made it abundantly clear that she was the only woman on his mind and that he wanted to pursue things with her. So yes.

she made him crazy for her in a week. And she didn't lower her standards. She didn't beg. She made a few key shifts and he came to her with clarity and boldness and pursuit and flirt pure of his own. Even though he doesn't have a coach who's teaching flirt pure, he learned flirt pure from my client. And listen, guys, I want to tell you this. This is what I do as a coach.

Right? And this kind of shift that my client experienced,

This kind of shift is possible for you too. And if you're tired of being that nice girl who gets overlooked and you're ready to become the woman a godly man pursues, then let's talk. This is what I do every day inside my coaching program.

So what I want you to do is send me an email, michelle at the christiandatingcoach.com or go to my website, the christiandatingcoach.com and book a call to talk to me and we will discuss your life and I will tell you on that call, sis, this is what's keeping you single. This is the one thing that's keeping you single and here's how you fix it. You will get so much value out of this call and you will

be in the place that my client is now, whether the guy who's crazy for her. Listen, if you have enjoyed these podcasts, if you guys are loving the wisdom that I am dropping down, please leave a five star rating. And if you are on an app that can take a review, please leave a review. Why? Because this podcast is helping so many women. This podcast is changing lives, changing legacies.

And your rating and review helps other women find this podcast. All right, sis, let's get you married.