Podcast 72: Stop Window Shopping for Love & Start Dating Like a Future Wife.

Today, Michelle breaks down the real transformation required to attract a godly, emotionally available, high-quality man.

You’ll learn the four core shifts you need to make—and why “window shopping” the process is what’s quietly delaying your breakthrough for high-value love.

💡 If you're hoping for once-in-a-lifetime, high-level love, stop making low-level moves. That’s like dreaming of a NYC Plaza wedding outcome but giving it backyard BBQ effort.

This episode will show you what actually creates elite love—the kind that lasts.

💙 Ready for real transformation?

Start the Kingdom Bride Unlocked Course or apply for coaching. 

Transcript

Michelle Joiner (00:00)
Hey, hey, sis. They say they want a kingdom marriage. They say they want a godly husband. They say they're ready to do the work. But when it comes time to say yes to the process, everybody sees they're just window shopping again. Since today, we're going to talk about what happens when you want New York City Plaza style wedding results.

and transformation, but you only want to give a barbecue backyard investment. Well, let's Okay, This is the illusion, thinking about change, praying for change, even attending master classes and buying books and

listening to podcasts and hoping that'll be enough. But none of that really is what creates transformation that leads to elite results. I want you to imagine an Olympian doing that, watching YouTube videos, hoping to make it big at the Olympics. Some of us are standing in front of the window display of transformation, staring at it.

Talking about it, telling our friends we almost bought it, but we never actually go in, purchase it, take it home, and reap the rewards.

And then we wonder why nothing's changed. It's exhausting, the hovering, the thinking about it, the trying to decide. And actually desire without decision does have a cost. It steals time. Your payment is time. And being

can feel productive, but it's actually a stall tactic to the transformation we really want to see. So let's talk about what the transformation needs to be to call in this godly husband, this handsome godly man that you walk down the aisle to and know that it's gonna last forever, that you know he's gonna treat you

Like he adores you and he's going to build a home and a family with you and he will be there with you forsaking all others till death do you part. There's transformation that needs to happen so that you get this kind of love story. This is the transformation. Firstly, in your confidence. If you can transform where you have

a certainty of the calling of being a wife and a

knowing that you are a magnet for godly men. Imagine having that thought. I am a magnet for godly men.

and talking to men with playfulness and poise and precision, knowing that your husband is coming. That, my sisters, is confidence. And that's the kind of confidence that I coach my clients and teach them how to have.

let me go on though. Connection. You need to be connecting with godly men, meeting compatible men in person and online. Godly men are out there and I teach my clients how to meet them in person and online. And then lastly, communication and chemistry. Communication, you need to know how to talk to men.

to inspire them, to compel them, so that just by talking to you, they want to pursue you, they want to commit to you, they want to literally forsake all others, You can compel none to do that just by the way you communicate with them. You can talk to them in their language so that nobody else gets them the way that you get them, so that nobody makes them

feel the way you make them feel. then chemistry is sort of like that in that you know how to create that spark, that electricity, that tension, that pull between a man and a woman where they feel something. And that feeling is undeniable. And you're both feeling the chemistry that people write songs about. That, my sisters, is the transformation that needs to happen in order to have this beautiful

Kingdom marriage that will bless you for the rest of your life. Confidence, connection, communication, chemistry, that is the transformation that is available to you.

Michelle Joiner (04:47)
That is the transformation that I provide and watch each and every one of my clients go through. And that is the transformation that leads to them finding their husbands, sometimes in a matter of months.

Michelle Joiner (05:04)
We can't just window shop at that and hope at a deal for that. We need to prioritize that. I call it the plaza wedding problem. It's like saying you want a June wedding at the plaza in Manhattan, but you want to pay for it like it's a backyard wedding in Yonkers. And listen, I'm not mad about the budget.

But I am asking, why are you surprised when your results look more like the barbecue backyard wedding? So there's a resistance we have to investing time and money and effort into this. There's a resistance, but we're just paying for it on the other side by forever waiting for a person and losing hope.

We have these misaligned expectations that we can get this without sacrifice, this kind of transformation without sacrifice, without prioritization. When the true cost of commitment...

isn't even just financial. It's in time, belief, and courage.

What window shopping really costs you is not neutral. It delays destiny. Every time you circle back to maybe later, you're just delaying love. Every time you say, maybe I can figure this out by myself, sis, if you could have figured this out by yourself, you would have done it by now. There are so many singles in this country trying to figure it out.

themselves when the path has already been laid. You just need to find someone to take you down the path.

And you're not just delaying love, you're delaying the success and the wealth and the creativity and the healing that you could have had if you had a partner, a true kingdom partner. You're delaying God's yes, you're delaying the husband who's been asking him for you. Lost months, lost years, sometimes lost decades.

And then really the haunting whisper, what if I had started?

I get it, I really do because when I was single, I probably did the same things that I'm talking about here in this episode. I bought all the $40 courses, I watched the YouTube videos, and I told myself that I was learning and preparing and doing the work. I had a therapist, and in some ways, I, in some ways I

In some ways I was, I was learning a lot. But if I'm honest, I was also hiding behind low cost, low commitment, low movement choices, literally wanting a Chanel bag at target prices.

When I think back on those days, it was partly because I didn't know any better. I didn't know there was another way.

That's why I'm telling you this, this window shopping at transformation will keep you stuck. Maybe nobody's ever told you that before. And here's the real truth. It wasn't until I finally said yes to real mentorship, when it cost me something, that everything shifted. I hired a coach, even though it was a stretch, a sacrifice.

And three months later, I met Caleb. And that is why this message is so strong in my heart for you today. It's because transformation doesn't come when we shop around for a deal at love. That posture doesn't manifest the result you're praying for.

The solution is to say yes to a guide. Say yes to the transformation that comes when you have a guide. doesn't come from do it yourself cookbooks. It really doesn't.

It comes when we say yes to wisdom and discernment and learning.

So sis, if you have been hovering and window shopping for love, circling the idea of transformation, but not committing to your own personal mentor, I want you to know this.

God doesn't move in confusion, he moves in faith.

See, God opens the door, but you have to do what it takes to walk through it. And if this episode hit home and if that transformation description, the confidence, the connection, the communication, the chemistry transformation hit you hard, I want you to pause, like really pause and ask yourself.

Am I ready to stop window shopping and start becoming? Becoming the woman I pray to be and getting the husband that I pray to have.

You don't need to be more ready. You don't need to be more willing.

You just have to start. And if you're ready to start, I'm ready to walk with you.

I encourage you to apply now to coach with me or start with the Kingdom Bride Unlocked course and begin your transformation today. With the course, you'll get the same tools, strategy and hardship my clients used to go from heartbreak to holy marriage.

And with coaching, you get the support and the guidance and the mentorship to accelerate your journey to a kingdom marriage. You can keep browsing or you can become. Either way, I'm here when you're ready. Until next time, sis, let's get you married.