Podcast 74: My Story: From Résumés to Romance

In this deeply personal birthday episode, Michelle pulls back the curtain on her journey from climbing ladders to creating legacy. She opens up about her high-achieving 20s, the drive to succeed, and the secret ache that degrees and promotions couldn’t quiet.

From getting into the top engineering schools in the country to crying alone in the shower, Michelle shares the pivotal moment that changed everything—and the bold decision to pursue what she really wanted: love, marriage, and a family of her own.

And don’t get it twisted—she didn’t give up her ambition. She just redirected it. Today, she runs a thriving coaching business helping other smart, faith-filled women find godly love too.

If you’ve ever felt like you were doing all the “right” things and still felt something missing, this episode is your permission slip to want more.

Because you don’t have to settle for performance when what you really want is partnership.

Transcript

Michelle Joiner (00:00)
Hey, hey, sis. I got into MIT. I climbed the career ladder. I collected degrees. I collected credentials like they were trophies. But you know what I wish I had the courage to ask myself back then.

what do you really want?

Sis, today's episode is actually just gonna be a little personal. Okay, it's gonna be a lot personal. I turned 44 today. Today is my birthday and it's really put me in reflective state. And I don't mean a got older, feel sad kind of way, but in a thank God I didn't miss it.

kind of way, because I almost did. And as I shared before, I've always been an achiever. I have always had big dreams. I measure myself by my GPA. I am always the straight A student. I am always the star performance review I'm always getting applause. And in

My 20s, the star that I reached for was MIT. I was an engineering student and I wanted to get into the top engineering school in the country. And I did. And I didn't just get into MIT, I also got into Stanford and Caltech.

I was chasing excellence like it would heal me. And for a while it worked a little. I was smart, I was capable, I was doing the thing. People were proud of me, proud of how I was climbing ladders and building a career in engineering and

traveling and living life But the reality is sis I was ignoring everything else. My health my body everything inside of my heart and and even my central nervous system was just screaming There's something that you're missing. You're ignoring the secret longing

that is underneath all of this achievement and time was just passing me by. I did want to be loved. I did want marriage, but no one tells you how to go after that.

Michelle Joiner (02:40)
Not with wisdom, not with support, not with the kind of applause we give degrees and promotions.

Michelle Joiner (02:48)
There's very little guidance or even help for the single woman who wants to be a mother, who wants to be a wife. And very few will tell you that if you wait too long, that window doesn't stay open forever.

Michelle Joiner (03:04)
I remember being 34, still single, thinking maybe I'll just take this $40 course. Maybe this YouTube coach has the secret.

Michelle Joiner (03:16)
I did this because the people around me were no help at all. They just told me, ⁓ just pray and wait. Just be content. One day God will send you your person. And I...

just wanted to get unstuck. But those $40 courses and those YouTube coaches weren't the secret. They didn't solve my problem. And my real turning point was when I made a real investment and I got real help.

was someone who really had the answers and could apply those answers to me. Not just random people on the internet, but a real person that I could talk to about what I was looking for in a husband and who I was as a person.

Michelle Joiner (04:17)
someone who could answer questions, someone who could provide feedback. It was more than just reading a book written for the masses. It was someone who could look into my life and say, Michelle, there's a different way. And three months after I hired her, I met Caleb. And we had the most beautiful, chemistry-filled, crazy wonderful romance.

and I did the scary thing. I left the job. I left the East Coast. I left the condo I owned and the career I built. And I moved across the country to marry the man who adored me like no one else had ever done before.

And the life that I've built with this man is my legacy.

Not the MIT or the Caltech or the Stanford acceptance letters, not the engineering patents that I've done, none of that. We now have three gorgeous, miracle children that I've always dreamed of that make me so happy that they fill my heart with laughter.

Michelle Joiner (05:36)
I had Julius and Augustus my twin boys when I was 39. And then I had November when I was 42. I nearly missed this.

Michelle Joiner (05:49)
I think back on those days when I was coming home after a full day at the office, eking it out against competitive coworkers, and I would come home and cry in the shower. Sis, I don't cry in the shower anymore. Instead, I go blueberry picking with my toddlers and bake pies.

and invite grandma and grandpa over. And I get to serve warm meals to a man who holds my hand and prays with me over my babies. And I'm loved and chosen for who I am, not how impressive my resume is. And listen, if I could go back, if I could sit with 24-year-old Michelle, or even 34-year-old Michelle, I'd say,

Sis, what do you really want?

Because all of the striving and achieving and credentials, they don't hold you at night.

Michelle Joiner (06:59)
I remember waking up, lying in bed, listening to love songs, and feeling the ache.

Michelle Joiner (07:07)
And now I lie in bed and hear whispers of, love you.

and little cuddles from little arms that call me mommy. And this is the legacy that I've built. The legacy of teaching sons that they can love to help mommy cook in the kitchen and daughters that can outpick blueberries, outpick her brothers and outboss her brothers. Strong woman, kind men.

that I am raising, that is my legacy.

Michelle Joiner (07:44)
And listen, don't get me wrong. I didn't stop being ambitious. I just started pointing that ambition towards something that actually mattered to me. Today, I run a thriving, a successful business helping other powerful women find godly love. And I use everything I've learned, every credential, every...

insight, every tech solution. I use all of that to serve my amazing clients. And this ambition, it supports my heart. It supports my love, my family. It supports the things that I dreamed of instead of stealing those dreams from me.

Michelle Joiner (08:39)
So if you're listening today, I just want to ask, have you ever wanted more? Not more titles, not more degrees, not more certifications, not another promotion. Have you ever felt like life should be deeper than resumes and interviews?

and performance appraisals. Have you ever craved the holy simplicity of love of coming home to a partner that can't wait to talk to you about their day, a faith-filled partnership, or even berry picking on a Wednesday afternoon?

eating more berries than you actually put in the bucket.

If that is something that you have been craving, I'm here to give you permission. Go get it. Go get it now.

You are not too late. You are not too much. You are not too far gone. And there is a God with faithful followers faithful men who would make incredible husbands for you if you would just make it a priority and pursue this kingdom marriage that God has called you to.

Just ask yourself honestly, what do you really want? And then go build that life.

Michelle Joiner (10:20)
I used to build a resume. Now I'm building a legacy. This is the life I nearly missed. And I thank God I didn't.

Thank you for letting me share my story with you. I will see you next time.