Podcast 77: The Secret to Being Irresistible

There’s a reason some women turn heads without even trying. They don’t chase. They don’t compete. They just are.

In today’s episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on what makes a woman unforgettable—not in a flashy or fake way, but in a quiet, magnetic, Spirit-led way that changes everything.

If you’ve ever wondered how to go from overlooked to undeniable, this one’s for you.

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Transcript

Michelle Joiner (00:00)
Hey, hey sis, I want to tell you a story. Picture a man sailing alone somewhere in the deep blue sea. The skies are clear when he leaves shore, but soon a heavy fog settles over the water and envelops his ship. Visibility fades, the wind quiets.

And all he can hear in that moment is the creaking of the mast and the distant hush of the waves.

then something pierces through the fog and he hears a voice, a song. It's not loud, it's not frantic, it's beautiful, haunting, captivating. And without even realizing it, he begins steering the ship toward the sound.

as though he is inexplicably drawn to it. That's the irresistible magic of a siren. A siren who isn't chasing, a siren who isn't shouting or performing. She's just irresistible magnetic.

In this episode, I'm going to show you what the secret is to being irresistible, to being a modern siren.

This siren isn't the dangerous myth you read about in Homer's Odyssey. It's the radiant, irreplaceable allure of a woman who knows who she is, like Ariel in The Little Mermaid, the way she inspired love without begging for it, the way her voice held power. That's what I want for you.

And since you don't need permission to be irresistible, you don't need permission to be a siren, you just need to learn the magic that lets your voice be heard.

I want to show you the secret that will end your dating life and start your married life.

Michelle Joiner (02:27)
So let's talk about what makes her irresistible. There are three secrets, three shifts that change everything.

Michelle Joiner (02:38)
Here's the first secret to being an irresistible siren. you must know your value. You don't turn on siren energy. You don't flirt. You don't be your irresistible self just to get picked. And you certainly don't

Send out your siren energy once you get permission to do so. And the reason why is because you don't need permission or validation. You don't need anything to tell you who you are. You know who you are. You know your value. You are confident in yourself.

You are certain that marriage is your calling. You are secure that God has a beautiful future for you that includes love and marriage. Why? Because He put that desire in your heart and you believe that He will fulfill it. You believe that when He said it's not good for man to be alone,

It's better to marry than to burn with passion and you feel that passion inside you. You believe that God will fulfill that as you delight yourself in him. You believe that he will give you the desires of your heart. So you're not walking around scared. You're not walking around needy. You're not walking around worried. You're walking around knowing who you are, knowing your value, knowing your future, certain of your calling.

And that gives you this beautiful it factor confidence that shines out to the world and gives peace to your heart.

And when you flirt, it's from fullness, not from famine.

A siren doesn't need dopamine hits. She doesn't need a guy to initiate or flirt back or acknowledge her. Why? Because she's already chosen herself.

When you know your value, you can show up powerfully. completely captivating.

A siren is irresistible because she believes she is irresistible. And once she believes that she is irresistible, she communicates that to the world, and they believe it too.

Second secret. is grow your value.

Siren energy is in you, but it's a sword that needs to be sharpened. Your voice, your presence, your way of speaking to men, these are tools that have to be trained. I want you to think about An Olympic figure skater. She would not...

go to her aunt who does salsa and say, hey, auntie, can you give me some pointers? I'm trying to go to the Olympics and you know how to dance and figure skating is kind of like dancing. So maybe you can help me. No, she wouldn't do that. she'd mortgage her house and go to the best figure skater, trainer, wherever in the country that she is.

and learn why because that's how important it is to her.

Learning how to talk to men, how to understand their language, learning how to inspire a man to pursue, to commit is a skill. It is the magic that every siren knows that she was taught. I remember learning that. I remember learning from my coaches.

how to talk to men the way men thought, the way they were motivated, the way to cut through all the noise and shine irresistibly. I was taught that and I still use those tools today as a married woman. If you want to know why my marriage is still so romantic and beautiful, it's because I learned how to talk.

to my husband in a way that he could understand me, understand my needs, understand my desires in a way that let him know how much I respected him and admired him so that he feels an incredible source of pleasure from me. And I'm able to communicate what I need. Why? Because I learned how to talk to him in his language and inspire all the beauty that was already in him.

I Promise you sis there are incredible godly men everywhere all around you and What's happening is you're speaking but he's not hearing because you're not speaking in his language

The type of man that you're looking for, thinks a certain way. He makes decisions in a certain way. He's motivated by a certain way. And you have to know that. That is the magic of a siren to know that. That is the magic of an irresistible woman to be able to speak to that type of man so that he doesn't just scroll past. And sis, if you've been on the apps for years, I promise you.

You're amazing high caliber man, godly man has seen your profile and it didn't speak to him so he scrolled past. That's why it's so important to grow your value so that doesn't happen again.

A siren, an irresistible woman doesn't just get love, she inspires it. And not with pressure or force, but with a gentle, quiet spirit that is of great worth in God's sight, but is mighty and powerful.

First secret, know your value. Second secret, grow your value. Third secret, show your value.

A woman who is irresistible. A woman who is a siren.

doesn't wait for a man to flirt first. She doesn't dim her light to match his laziness. She is always a beautiful, irreplaceable, irresistible siren everywhere she goes at home, at the grocery store, at work. My clients come in and they become such a beautiful beacon of

irresistible energy that their bosses double their salaries. They get promotions and yes, they find amazing men that want to marry them.

I have a client who I've been working with recently after 14 sessions, just 14 sessions, a little over three months. She was in a relationship with one of the most amazing guys I have ever heard of, supportive, loving, caring, there for her, totally life-giving. After 14 sessions, I have another client who came to me and said, there's no good men out there.

But after 10 sessions of discovering this irresistible siren energy, she was engaged to one of the very men that she didn't think existed. And lastly, the most beautiful story of all is the client I have who was married after six sessions. Being irresistible is powerful, but only if you show your value wherever you are.

And that includes in the quiet moments when you get a text message or a message on your app that says, hi. You don't respond with laziness. You don't respond with that little irritation, that annoyance that creeps up inside of you. You don't respond in that.

A siren would say something like, hey stranger, you've got a mysterious energy. Spill your secrets. Do you hear that siren tone that drawing in? It's not a over sharing of you sent me a message. Let me tell you everything that's going on in my life because I really need this. No, she doesn't need it, but she is irresistible. She is irreplaceable. And she shows up that way.

all of the time and realize this says this guy who has you low-key irritated because of his low effort and you really just want to say buzz off listen this guy god loves him very much

God sent his son to die for this guy.

So I would encourage you Show your value, shine your light, be irresistible.

Be irreplaceable, be unforgettable, because that is who you are.

A lot of times we don't allow ourselves to act in this way because we're waiting for the validation first. We're waiting for the guy to go first to show us that he's interested. to give us a reason to show up like a siren. I hear it all the time.

I'll flirt when he flirts. I'll flirt when I feel in the moment. What I'm encouraging you to do is to be a flirt, is to be a siren, is to be irresistible all of the time. And when I say flirt, all I mean is talking to men in King's language, whether it's something that I teach and what I was talking about in a language that he understands you and you're speaking to who he is and his motivation. Talk to him in King language, be effective and be irresistible.

That is what flirting is. Flirt with the fruits of the spirit. Flirt in a godly, gentle, quiet way. Win him over. That's what I call flirting.

A siren doesn't wait to be activated because she already is activated.

When you're irresistible, it's something that just doesn't get turned off. It's something that everybody feels.

and it's powerful.

A woman who has the irresistible power of a siren is irreplaceable.

In particular, she's irreplaceable to the man that discovers her. she knows how to be a source of pleasure to him. And she awakes every longing and desire he's ever had and fulfills it.

she is the blessing that he has always dreamed of. That is why he is inspired to pursue and to commit because he knows he will never find another woman like her. And sis, if you don't know your value, if you're not growing your value,

and you don't know how to show your value, you're not going to be able to communicate how irresistible we know you are.

So let me ask you, where are you stuck? Are you struggling to know your value? To believe you're worthy of love? To be confident? To know you're already chosen by yourself and by God?

Are you struggling to grow your value? To learn the tools of godly flirtation, strategic communication, and emotional mastery that inspires men to act.

Or are you struggling to show your value? To walk into any room, magnetic, bold, and unforgettable, yourself in every way, without waiting for permission or validation.

Wherever you are stuck, hear me. Women don't stay stuck because they can't move forward. They stay stuck because they won't let themselves. And here's the kicker. That sharp pain of singleness, that ache of coming home alone, the flash of

I've got to change something when you get a wedding invitation or a baby shower invitation. That motivation to do something different, it doesn't last forever. The desire to change, the energy to change, it comes in a moment. And if you don't act on it,

It fades. I talked to so many women and I asked them, how long have you wanted this? And I've heard five years, 10 years, 15 years, 20 years. I've been wanting this. Sis, if that's you and you're listening and you're thinking, I want to be irresistible. I want to learn how to attract.

to inspire, be deeply loved. Don't wait. Don't go numb again. Don't allow the complacency to set back in. The quiet voice that says, ⁓ just be content. This is good enough.

Don't let another decade pass you by. Do it now.

On August 11th, 2025, I'm releasing something that will unlock the irresistible woman inside of you. When that moment comes, do not talk yourself out of it. Don't reach for another self-help book. Don't go quiet. Don't withdraw. Just remember these three words. Do it now.

What I'm gonna offer next Monday is only going to be available to 10 women So if you want to be the first to hear about it, you need to get on my email list

To do that, go to my website, www.thechristiandatingcoach.com. A pop-up will show up on your screen. Put your email in there. If you can't figure that out and it doesn't work for you, send me an email and I will put you on my list, michelle at the christiandatingcoach.com.

Stop waiting to be chosen. Stop dimming your light to feel modest. Stop living like invisibility is godly. And stop acting like you're content when your heart is screaming for more. Become the woman who knows her value, grows her value,

and shows her value without apology.

Michelle Joiner (18:47)
You don't need permission to be irresistible. You just need the courage to say yes.

Michelle Joiner (18:56)
This is your moment. Don't let fear win again. Don't let another year pass on love. Say yes. Do it now. Let's get you married, sis.