Ep. 90: Dating App Photos That Make Him Commit

Dating apps are brutally visual — and low-quality photos are the #1 reason amazing women are being overlooked online.

In this episode, Michelle unpacks why photos matter more than your bio, what rules to follow if you want to attract a high-quality man, and how her clients transform their results when they upgrade their photos strategically. You’ll hear:

The quick “six-month test” to know if your photos are working or not

Why selfies and group shots actually hold you back

Five rules for photos that create pursuit, not just likes

A client story that proves the right photos can make a man cross 2,000 miles to meet you

The deeper truth: high-quality men respond to high-strategy photos

Your photos aren’t just decoration — they’re decision makers. And when they’re not optimized, they could be holding your love story hostage.

👉 If you’re ready to stop hiding and step into the love story God has for you, don’t waste another six months on the apps with the wrong photos. [Click HERE to Book your consult with Michelle today.]

Transcript

Michelle Joiner (00:00)
Hey, hey, sis, low quality photos will not attract a high quality man. Not in 2025, not in 2026, not ever. Dating apps are brutally visual. You've got maybe half a second to create a feeling in a guy or not.

And the feeling isn't she looks like a movie star, but instead this could be the one. And here's the truth. When you use low quality photos, he's not thinking, wow, she's radiant. He's thinking she didn't put any effort into this or worse. I can't even tell what she really looks like.

Low quality selfies and photos are the reason amazing women are not getting pursuit they deserve online. It's not because they're not attractive. It's not because they're not worthy of love. It's because their photos are not communicating the high value woman that they are. And I can promise you.

This is the number one reason so many women are being overlooked on the dating apps.

Michelle Joiner (01:32)
I teach women how to flirt, how to talk to men effectively in male language, a language that men understand and connect with. I teach women how to create a profile that is a sensory experience that makes him feel like a hero,

But none of that matters if he's not compelled within that half a second when he sees your first photo.

If he doesn't have the thought, I need to find out more. Because without that thought, he wipes left and never gets to find out anything else about you.

Michelle Joiner (02:12)
If you want a high quality man, you have to show yourself to be a high quality woman. And one of the ways you do that is with high quality photos.

If you want a high value man to pursue you with intention, you need to be intentional about your photos. It's the first thing that he sees. Your shots can't just be random pics that you pulled from your camera reel. this one thing, your photos.

will literally affect how long you stay on the apps or how soon you are scooped up by the man of your dreams. It matters that much.

Michelle Joiner (02:59)
And let me just say this. You know your photos aren't high quality if you've been on the apps longer than six months and you haven't been pursued by a high value man. With the right photos, this should be happening. You should be having conversations. You should be experiencing pursuit.

If that's not your reality, it's not you. It's the photos you're using. They're not doing the job. And we're going to fix this now.

Michelle Joiner (03:33)
Here's the brutal reality of dating apps. Men make split second decisions. Eye tracking studies prove it. People look at your photo first, long before they read your profile. Research from Zoosk, a very popular dating app, found that profiles with high quality photos get 40 % more views and 60 %

more messages. Another study showed that professional photos can increase matches by nearly 50%.

That's not theory. That's fact. And I know this because I actually consult for a dating app right now. I am a dating expert on a brand new Christian dating app. And let me tell you, that app highly discourages selfies. They almost reject them. Why? Because selfies and other low

quality shots, they don't tell enough about you. They don't showcase your life, your confidence, your values, your vibe. So when I see a woman's profile where her primary photo or most of her photos is a poorly lit selfie or a blurry crop from a group picture, I feel bad for her

because she may stay single for years. Not because she isn't beautiful and attractive, and definitely not because she isn't worthy, but because

Her photos weren't telling her story the way they should. Every swipe is a decision. Is she worth my pursuit? Is she worth talking to? Is she worth the risk? Is she worth the time? See how quickly that I asked those questions? You want your photo to be so stunning that it answers those questions with a yes.

And that's gonna be way before your bio even has a chance to be read.

Michelle Joiner (05:53)
You might be saying, well, Michelle, I'm not using low quality photos. Mine are clear. They're bright. They're high res. I've got an iPhone and it takes good pictures and sis, I hear you. But when I say low quality, I don't just mean the pixels. I'm talking about the strategy because a photo can be perfectly high res.

perfectly clear and still fall flat. And the proof is in the pudding. Test it. Are you getting the results you want? Are high value men asking you out? Are they pursuing you with intention? Are they flying across the country to meet you? If not, your photo isn't doing its job. It's not captivating them. It's not compelling them to want to know more. Photos

have levels of conversion optimization. And you want to get as close as possible to 100%, the kind of photo that stops a man in his tracks and makes him pursue you with his whole heart. That's what makes a photo truly high quality, not just clear.

but compelling. And that's where my process comes in.

Michelle Joiner (07:24)
Here are my rules that I teach my clients.

Rule number one, no hats, no sunglasses, nothing covering your face, covering your head. Why? If he can't see you, he can't connect with you. Like I said, your photos, you want them.

to instantly create a feeling. You instantly want oxytocin and connection to be created. So we don't want to be a mysterious men in black. He's not looking for mystery. He's looking for a wife. So no sunglasses, no hats, no scarves, no nothing covering your head or your face. Rule number two, lighting has to be impeccable.

This is where professionals shine. You may think, there's a lamp in this room or I'm outside in the daylight. Not quite. A photographer knows how to use natural light, how to avoid harsh shadows, how to make your skin glow. Lighting is the difference between a very forgettable photo and the one that stops him mid-scroll.

Rule number three, your first photo, the profile one that comes up when he first sees you as a match for the day, it must be drop dead, scroll stopping gorgeous. You don't have to be a model for this to happen, but that first photo must make him stop and think, who is this woman? I need to know her.

If it doesn't stop him cold, it won't stop him at all. After that, your photos can tell more of your story. maybe one shows you cooking, maybe another shows you biking or running. The point is to show different dimensions of who you are, but you have to put on your strategy cap and think, what's the one photo that's going to make him say, I need to know more?

That should be your first photo. Rule number four, always include at least one full body shot. And we've heard this one before. So let me break this down a little bit more. We're not talking about one where you're buried in a giant jacket or a beekeeper suit or anything like that. We want one that is a clear full body shot.

Men are drawn to every female body, no matter its size. If you have a female body, you attract men. So don't be afraid to show your body with confidence. The right man won't reject you. He's not looking for perfection. He is going to be drawn to you because you are unapologetically yourself.

So this is where you can use action

of my favorite shots I've seen is a woman who was sitting on a bicycle and it showed her full body, but it also told a story. It was, I'm the woman that loves to be outdoors. I'm the woman that loves to be moving my body. So,

Extra points if your full body shot shows you in motion and shows that you're active. Another one of my clients showed a picture of her at a race. She loved to do half marathons. Do you see all these stories, all these messages that she's sending to this guy? I'm not afraid to show my body. I love to be active. Here I am at a competitive event. All of that. Subliminal little messages that can be

just in one photo. And then my last rule, rule number five, no group shots ever. Why? You want to control what the guy is thinking and group photos just confuse him. He starts asking, OK, which one is she? Is that her friend, her cousin? Is she prettier than her friend or her cousin?

Are those her kids? we don't want him thinking any of those thoughts. You've already distracted him from what you want him to focus on, which is you. I have a trick for this. One of the photographers I work with taught me a great workaround. She'll stage a photo that looks like you're at a party. You're laughing, you're glowing.

but the shot is framed so it's just you. The effect is the same showing that you're social, but the focus stays on you. Now let me tell you a story about one of my clients. Her photos weren't terrible. They just didn't stand out. They didn't pop.

So we worked together and I orchestrated a professional makeover and high quality photos for her. Suddenly, her new photos had men commenting. And then one didn't just ask her out. He didn't just message her casually. He flew 2000 miles to see her. That's the difference between blending into the noise and being unforgettable.

When she became intentional with her photos, men became intentional with her. She started getting higher quality matches, men who were serious, men who pursued her, and as I said, one who flew 2,000 miles to see her. And I want you to hear me. It wasn't because she looked like a model.

It was because her photos finally showed who she really was. Radiant, high value, worthy of pursuit.

So men are compelled to pursue. Photos aren't just decoration. They aren't just placeholders.

They aren't just steps in the process that you can plug in and then go about your day. Photos are decision makers. They are the doorway. And if that doorway is cluttered with fuzzy images, awkward

busy backgrounds, group shots, men won't walk through the doorway. But when your photos are clean,

high quality, radiant, they create clarity. They let him picture you. They stir the thought. They create the feeling. She could be the one. They literally produce oxytocin. And your photos are either accelerating your love story or holding you back. This isn't superficial. This isn't about faking anything.

This is about showing up with respect, just like you tidy your home before a guest comes over. It's about creating a first impression that honors both him and you. So you got to decide how long do you want to be on the dating apps or do you want to do things differently so that you can get a different result?

And this is exactly why my clients don't just take better photos. They step into a whole new level of confidence and clarity inside my one-on-one coaching program, Kingdom Bride Unlocked. Because in Kingdom Bride Unlocked, you don't just get coaching. You get a hair and makeup makeover.

that makes you so stunning, you glow with confidence. You get stylist consults, a photo shoot guided by

process I've built over the years. You're not guessing which photo will work, you know. Hey, don't just look better. You are better positioned to be seen by the man who could be your husband.

And the best part, the feeling. My clients tell me they start to feel like Esther.

right before she was preparing to be seen by the king. Esther wasn't striving, she wasn't chasing.

but she knew she was going to be presented to the king. And she wanted to make the most of that opportunity. That's the difference.

Michelle Joiner (16:30)
So stop depending on low quality, low strategy photos.

Michelle Joiner (16:36)
Stop selling yourself short. Step into the spotlight as the radiant, high value woman God designed you to be.

Michelle Joiner (16:45)
If you're ready to stop hiding and step into the love story God has for you, don't waste another six months on the apps with the wrong photos. Go to the link in the show notes and book a consult with me today. This is your moment. Let's get you married, sis.