Ep.92: This is How I Created the Chemistry That Won Caleb

Last episode, you heard from Caleb, his side of our love story—how we met, what drew him in, and what made him commit. But what if I told you there’s a reason behind the chemistry he kept describing? In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on how attraction, desire, and connection can be created intentionally—without compromising your faith or your values.

If you’ve ever wondered why some conversations fizzle while others spark electricity that can lead to commitment, this one will open your eyes.

Sis, don’t leave your love story up to chance. The same strategies that won Caleb are the ones I now teach my clients—and they’re seeing real results. One of my clients met an incredible man just 14 weeks into coaching, and two months later, they’re already talking about marriage.

✨ CLICK HERE to book your free consult call today and let’s see if Kingdom Bride Unlocked is right for you. Your love story doesn’t have to wait another year. Let’s get you married, sis. 💙

Transcript

Michelle Joiner (00:00)
Hey, hey, sis, welcome back to the podcast. In my last episode, you heard directly from Caleb, his side of our love story, how we met, what drew him in and what made him commit. If you haven't listened yet, go back and catch that episode because today I want to break down why he said what he said.

If you listen to closely, you probably noticed he kept repeating the same words, enticing, exciting. I felt so good. I felt manly. That wasn't an accident. That was chemistry. Like he kept repeating. We had so much chemistry and I didn't just hope chemistry would happen when I was talking to him.

I created it. So today, I want to give you a little taste of the same tools and strategies I used, the ones I now teach my clients inside Kingdom Bride Unlocked. I am my first success story. I won Caleb with these exact strategies. And now I teach them so that women like you

can create the same kind of attraction and safety and love story. And sis, I want you to know these strategies aren't just to win a guy over. They open the door for you to fall in love too. These strategies inspire the man you're talking to to pursue and to commit and to court and win you.

The chemistry always goes both ways. So if you put these tools in play, it's not a question of if love will happen. It's just a matter of when. Now, if you're ready, let's dive in. Point number one, I want you energy. Chemistry starts with something I call, I want you energy.

This is what Caleb described so much. just felt so exciting. She was so enticing. This is the ability to make a man feel desired and desire and not in a sexual way, but in a way that communicates in his words, excitement and interest and attraction and enticing. A lot of women

think showing desire is the same as being lustful, but it's not. You can absolutely honor God, honor yourself, be modest and still let a man know that you want him. And that little spark, that tension, that heat is what fuels chemistry. Think of Song of Solomon. The bride says, let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth.

but also do not awaken love before it's time. That's the biblical tension, expressed desire wrapped in holiness. When Caleb and I first started talking, I made it clear from the first messages that I wanted to get to know him, that I liked talking to him, that I thought he was attractive. Nothing I said was crass.

or sexual, but it left no doubt that he was wanted. You can create this with words as simple as, look hot in that shirt. I really like that picture of you. Notice there's nothing lustful in that. It just creates a kind of pull, a kind of tension, a spark. It communicates that you are awake.

and alive and noticing him. That's what I did with Caleb. Again and again, in small ways, I created that I want you energy and it left him coming back for more. It also opened the door for him to show that I want you energy back to me, for him to reflect it in a way that was pure and holy.

and didn't compromise any of our values, but it was still present and it created a draw for the both of us. Another way this shows up is from your dating profile. When I met Kayla, the profile that he saw wasn't a list of facts about myself. It had a flirtiness to it. I described myself as a woman

who goes to work in colorful sun dresses and sexy cowboy boots. And just by putting sexy cowboy boots in there, I created a atmosphere of playfulness and heat and tension. I wasn't saying that I was sexy, I was describing my sexy cowboy boots, but at the same time, it did give me that

of like the enticing, attractive woman that draws you in because the word itself creates that vibe, but I'm using it in a modest way. And when Caleb read it, he felt that. And that's the way our interactions continue to be. And sis, I want you to get this. You don't have to sit back and wait for chemistry to happen. You can create it. You can influence it.

You can make room for it. And if you're walking with God, you can do it in a way that's pure, honoring and holy. It's the difference between that conversation that fizzles out and sparking a connection that creates electricity and makes both of you feel like you're alive. Okay, point number two, make him feel like a man. The second principle Caleb talked about

was how manly he felt with me. And ladies, this is huge. If you want a man to pursue you, protect you, and commit to you, you've got to let him feel like a man. That doesn't mean stroking his ego. It doesn't mean pretending to be weak. It means speaking into his identity in a way that affirms

who God made him to be. Most men are starved for affirmation. They rarely hear words like, respect you, or you're the kind of man who... But those words unlock something powerful. When Caleb told me stories about helping a friend move or his work, or even fixing things, I would say,

That's the kind of man you are. You show up, you care about people. I'm glad I met a man like you. It's so rare. And I can tell you those simple words carried more weight than compliments about his looks ever could. Just using the word man triggers something in a guy's brain.

It may sound almost too simple to say these things. You might think that would never work, but it does. I had a client who started using I respect you language and instantly as soon as she said it, the guy literally stopped, looked at her and said, is it weird that I want to kiss you right now? If you don't believe me, when I was talking to Caleb and I was using these words about

him being a man, me feeling safe, me respecting him. He sent me a seven minute voice recording about how manly I made him feel and that no other woman had ever done that for him. A seven minute voice recording.

That is the power of this. And it's not just my client and it's not just me. It's consistent. Over all the women that I teach. When they step into this kind of language, men lean in. One of my clients had a man fly 2000 miles to see her all because she started using this language. Others go from talking to exclusive relationships in a matter of weeks. Here's the deal.

Men have their own language. Respect and desire are the two pillars. They are literally the two tenants of male language. And if you can speak these two things, you will reach a man in a way no other woman has. Here's the thing. Women often wonder why men don't step up, why they don't lead, why they don't pursue.

And here's my answer, because no one has ever called that out in them. Men rise to the level of belief you place in them. If you treat them like a boy, they'll act like a boy. If you treat them like a man, they'll show up like one. Caleb rose into the man that he always was because I consistently spoke into him.

You're strong, you're capable. You're the kind of man I can count on. He felt like a hero and he acted like a hero because he was. So another phrase that is incredibly powerful. I respect you. Respect is fuel for a man's soul. When Caleb gave up time to serve, to care for his family.

to invest in me, I didn't just say, thank you. I said, I respect you for that. And that made him feel 10 feet tall. That is a male language. And most men are desperate for respect, but never get it. So when you give it sincerely, it creates chemistry. creates a bond that he can't resist. And if you want to create this chemistry,

Don't just make him feel wanted, also make him feel like a man. Because once he feels this way...

he won't be able to let it go. And sis, if you're listening and you're thinking, I need to learn this, I need to figure this out, I have never heard this before, that's exactly what I teach inside Kingdom Brian Unlocked. So what I wanna encourage you to do right now is pause this episode, go to the show notes, click the link and book your call right now.

Don't leave it till later. You and I both know later often never happens. Book a console call and I'll show you how to make this role in your own life. Okay, back from the pause. Point number three, be a source of pleasure. Now, this one is subtle, but so powerful. Caleb kept saying in his interview how

good he felt after talking to me. He didn't walk away drained. He walked away energized, excited, alive. That's because I made our conversations a source of pleasure. We both did. And here's what I mean. Every time we interacted, I focused on creating positivity and being agreeable. Something as simple as that. I wasn't nitpicking, arguing. I wasn't putting up walls.

If he asked, can I call you Friday? I said yes. If he wanted to watch a movie together? I said yes. If he suggested something fun, I went along with it. That doesn't mean I had no boundaries. I did. It just means I wasn't saying no a lot. I was agreeable, flexible, fun. And that positivity made him look forward to every conversation.

I want you to think about the opposite. Some women are just so busy there, or there's resistance. They're putting up ⁓ objections and contradictions, saying no to dates or calls or moments because they don't have time. Maybe there's arguments or disagreements. And that negativity kills the spark that's just being created. Caleb wasn't logging off thinking,

Wow, she never has time for me. She must not be very interested. He was logging off thinking, I can't wait to talk to her again. I know she wants me. I know she respects me. And he might not have even put it in those words, but the feeling was there. We created a feeling together. It always felt good. That's what you want to create. Conversations and exchanges that feel like a breath of fresh air.

that always feel good, rarely do they feel like you're getting shot down. Another part of being a source of pleasure is showing enjoyment for the person you're talking to. Laughing at his jokes, yes, but also getting excited about what excites him. When Caleb would talk about his hobbies or passions, I leaned in. I didn't roll my eyes, I didn't dismiss it, I didn't...

get frustrated that we weren't talking about my interests. I found joy in seeing his joy and hearing his life. And that's why he felt so good after our calls because he was appreciated. Go back and listen to his interview. Hear how he talks about feeling seen and how that changed his heart.

So sis, hear me, if you want a man to crave your presence, don't just be available, be enjoyable. Make his life lighter, not heavier. That's the kind of chemistry that pulls him closer instead of pushing him away. When you become the source of pleasure to a guy, he's never gonna want to let you go.

Now the last piece of this puzzle that Caleb didn't talk about because he didn't know is what was going on inside my heart. And what was going on inside my heart is that I believed I was desirable. And that's point number four. Believe you are desirable because if you don't believe it, no one else will. Confidence is magnetic. When I met Caleb,

I was not a size two. I wasn't the Hollywood ideal. In fact, I was probably the heaviest I've ever been. was maybe a good 3X or getting close to 300 pounds. But it didn't matter. I carried myself like a woman who knew she was beautiful. I wore dresses that made me feel gorgeous. I put my whole self out there in my profile photos.

And that confidence radiated. In fact, if you go back and listen to Caleb's interview, he said she didn't just have okay pictures, she had great pictures. And that was me, not the Hollywood ideal, but still beautiful in my mind and in his. And women often ask me, am I his type? Do I measure up? Do you guys have a type? What if I'm not his type?

And listen to Caleb's answer, you don't have to fit some external type if you believe in your own desirability. Men are drawn to women who own who they are. Caleb admitted, I didn't really fit his type he thought he'd end up with, but he also said he found me beautiful from the start, fun, captivating, enticing. Why? Because I believed it first.

because I knew that I could be that. And here's where this connects back to everything I've shared. In order to do the things I just described, in order to use I want you energy, in order to make him feel manly, effectively, in order to be the source of pleasure, you must first believe you are desirable. It all flows from that. If you don't believe you're worthy,

then I want you energy will come across as needy. If you don't believe you're attractive, then making him feel manly will feel forced. If you don't believe you are valuable, then being a source of pleasure won't happen. Confidence is the engine that powers all of these strategies. When you walk into dating, doubting yourself, men pick up on it.

They can see it in your pictures. They can see it in your eyes. They can hear it in your conversation. When you shrink back, apologize, hide, they sense it. But when you believe you're worthy, attractive and desirable, that energy speaks louder than your dress size, your skin tone or your resume. Caleb didn't fall for me because I looked like a Hollywood glamorous star. He fell.

because I was fully myself and fully confident in who God made me to be. That confidence doesn't just create chemistry, it sustains it. Even now in marriage, I practice believing in my desirability because the truth is a man can only fully desire you if you desire yourself first and says,

no matter how much a man tells you you're beautiful and tells you he desires you.

It won't matter if you don't believe that yourself.

We can compliment you all day long, but you have to internalize it.

So sis, you heard Caleb's side in the last episode. Today, you've heard the principles behind how I won him over and what lets our falling in love. Here's the truth. You deserve your own Caleb, your own love story. You deserve a man who desires you, pursues you, commits to you, not someday.

not maybe, but soon. And if you're here, it's because you're ready. Women who aren't ready don't spend their time listening to 20 minutes of me teaching on dating. That means you're the type of woman who will do the work. And that's exactly the kind of woman who succeeds in my coaching program. That's why I want you to

book a console call to work with me. The console call is free, it's personal, and it's the next step to see if Kingdom Bride Unlocked is right for you. In that call, I'll show you how to use these same strategies in your own voice, your own style, your own life. And sis, don't think this takes years. One of my clients started coaching with me, and just 14 weeks in,

She was in a relationship with an amazing man and they've been dating for two months and they're already talking about marriage. That's how fast things can move when you're equipped with the right tools. But here's the thing. My coaching spots are filling up fast. I'll be moving to a wait list soon and I don't want you to go into the holidays on a wait list still feeling stuck.

and still wondering if love is possible for you. This is your time. If you're listening right now, it's not an accident. God is nudging you. He has good plans for your life and your love story is still unfolding, but it is your move. Sis.

You don't just want more information. You need a transformation. And that starts with a single step. Don't wait. Don't wonder. Book the call now. And let's get you married, Sis.