Ep. 105: Is Surrendering This Desire to God Keeping You Single?

Is surrender keeping you stuck? You might be surprised. 

If marriage is a holy desire God placed inside you, then it’s time to treat it like the calling (and priority) it is. Your husband is real. Your story is written. The only thing missing is your participation.

And for a short time, when you purchase Kingdom Bride Unlocked: The Course, you’ll receive a free 1:1 “Call In Your Husband Now” strategy session with me. We’ll map out your exact steps, your messaging, your strategy — personalized to your life and season. CLICK HERE to CLAIM YOUR BONUS CALL

Choose it. Claim it. And go call in your husband.

Transcript

Michelle Joiner (00:25)
Hey, hey sis, if God gave you the desire for marriage, he also expects you to steward it. Let's talk about why most Christian women aren't doing that. Today's going to be a word, a real word, because so many Christian women tell me, I'm surrendering this to God. I'm giving it to him. I'm not over exerting effort.

awaiting on the Lord. And yet they're not meeting godly men. They're not dating with effectiveness. They're not showing up in a way that is actually getting them closer to their dream of godly marriage. And I realized we have baptized fear and started calling it surrender. Let's talk about it.

There are thoughts that sound holy, sound humble, sound spiritual, but they are quietly keeping women single. Thoughts like God will bring him when it's time. I'm just waiting on him. I'm surrendering this area to the Lord. I don't want to force anything. Sound familiar? Sis stewarding something is not the same as forcing something.

And what a lot of women call surrender is not surrender at all. It's avoidance. It's hesitation. It's I don't know how to date effectively, so I'll spiritualize in action. We call it surrender, but God calls it poor stewardship.

Let's be real,

Waiting on God ends up looking like not meeting men who align with your standards. Halfheartedly being on apps with a profile that isn't calling in the type of man that you want. Talking to men you would never marry just because they're who is in front of you and you're passing the time. Not knowing how to communicate in a way that calls in.

high caliber godly men and having zero strategy but hoping God drops a husband on your doorstep like an Amazon Prime package. None of that is surrender. None of that is faith. That's fear. That's ineffectiveness. That's procrastination baptized in Christian language. And years go by like this.

good women, godly women, women who want to be wives and mothers, but who are accidentally stewarding this time, this area of their life with passivity instead of faithfulness. Let me go a little bit deeper. Most women who surrender love to God are actually scared of one thing. What if I try and it doesn't work?

What if I put myself out there and I still don't meet anyone? this desire is never fulfilled? What if I take action and I prove my fears right? So instead, they choose the illusion of safety. I'll wait, I'll pray, I'll stay still. I won't risk anything. Sis, that's not surrender. That's just spiritual self-protection.

True surrender says, Lord, I trust you enough to move. Lord, I trust you enough to learn the skills that I don't have. Lord, I trust you enough to act because faith always acts.

has never rewarded passivity. He rewards faithfulness and stewardship. If you needed a degree for a job, you'd go get it. If you needed training for a promotion, you'd sign up. If your health needed attention, you'd make changes. But when it comes to love and marriage, so many women freeze.

Sis, marriage is not a side quest. It's a calling, a covenant, a generational assignment. And if you want it, you need to steward this desire with the same seriousness you steward everything else God has blessed you with. Because the clock isn't slowing down. Your dreams aren't pausing themselves. Your desire for children isn't paused in heaven.

Surrender is beautiful, but surrender without stewardship is just fear wearing a Bible verse.

Here's what good stewardship looks like in dating. This is what I teach my clients to do right before they meet the man of their dreams. Good stewardship looks like learning the mindset of a confident, godly woman who magnetizes the right guys, the high quality, compatible Christian guys.

and repels the wrong ones. It's showing up with effective skill on the dating apps in a way that calls in high caliber godly men. It's knowing where to meet marriage minded men in real life. It's flirting in a way that's feminine and captivating, but still Christian and modest. It's knowing how to create chemistry

chemistry in a way that's in alignment with your Christian values. That's not over exerting effort. That's wisdom. That's stewardship. That's faith in action.

If this message is touching something in you, if you feel the Holy Spirit tugging at you right now, that's not pressure. That's invitation.

That lets you know that you're ready to act. And Sis, I am offering my course, Kingdom Bride Unlocked, right now, for a very short time with a bonus private one-on-one call in your husband now coaching session with me. On this call, we will map out your exact steps, your exact messaging, your exact strategy personalized to your life.

personality and season. And this bonus, it isn't staying. It's not permanent. It's an early Black Friday gift for the woman who knows she is ready. Click the link in the show notes or email me directly at michelle at the christiandatingcoach.com. And if money feels tight, sis, talk to me.

Some people have already asked for payment arrangements and they are available, but don't let fear dressed up as surrender steal another year of your life. The time is now. The people who bought my course this time last year are ring shopping with their soon to be fiancées now. And the ones who bought the course the year before last year, they're married and holding newborns now.

Sis, godly marriage is a holy desire God himself placed inside you. And if you look at your life, your calendar, your budget, your energy, it will tell you exactly what you've been prioritizing. For most women, marriage isn't on the list. Not because

They don't want it, but because somewhere along the way, they quietly gave up. They baptized discouragement as surrender. They hid fear under the word faith. But sis, you are chosen. Your story has already been written. God has already authored the chapter where you meet your godly, handsome husband. The only thing missing

is your participation. This isn't about too much effort. this is about stewardship. This is about clearing the fog, owning your desire and deciding that the life God called you to is worth rearranging your habits, your time and your commitments. If marriage is the desire of your heart, whether you're 28 or 58, choose it, claim it and go call in your husband.